


All For You

by MrsCriss2012



Series: Wake Me Up Inside Trilogy [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Established Relationship, Friendship, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 201,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsCriss2012/pseuds/MrsCriss2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Wake Me Up Inside.' Kurt and Blaine embark on their new life together in Chicago as Kurt journeys into adulthood with the love of his life by his side. *You will need to read WMUI first if you haven't already!*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"We'll take it," Blaine says with a huge grin.

"What?" Kurt hisses at him before turning with a tight smile to the landlord. "Excuse us for a moment." Stepping out into the communal hallway, he drags Blaine along with him. "What are you doing?"

"You love it. It's written all over your face," Blaine smiles as he cups his cheek sweetly. 

"I do, but it's like three times what we can afford," he sighs. "I don't even have a job yet, I'm living off my savings right now. I don't know why we came to look at this one in the first place."

"Because it's close to the college and we can see the water," Blaine tells him, watching as Kurt studies the architecture of the hallway. "Kurt, listen to me. The rental from my house will cover my mortgage and more each month. I'm earning, and will be able to pick up more session work now I'm in a city again."

"But you can't just pay for everything," Kurt pouts.

"I know that," he says with a kiss to his cheek. "And I know you're a stubborn ass. But I want us to have this place. It feels right. The building has character, it's central, plus it's three bedrooms so we can have a guest room as well as a music room. Please, let me do this for us. You can buy groceries or something." 

"I don't know..." he trails off, uncertain. "It's extravagant."

"You deserve extravagance," Blaine wheedles as his arms slide around Kurt's waist.

"True," he muses.

"There's a balcony, Kurt," Blaine whispers seductively in his ear. "Think about it. Balcony sex where anyone could walk past...." Tugging Kurt's earlobe between his teeth, he grins as Kurt lets out a small whimper.

"You're terrible."

"But you love me."

"I still want to get a job, okay? I want to contribute." 

"Okay," Blaine smiles happily. "Though don't forget, you'll be taking care of me for fifteen years before you retire."

"Good point," Kurt laughs as everything falls into place once more. "Come on then, old man. Let's go sign our first lease." 

Giddy with happiness, frantic calls are made to friends and family ordering everybody to meet at Breadstix for a celebratory dinner. As Blaine drives them back to Lima, Kurt finds his mind wandering as he closes his eyes, heavy with exhaustion after the whirlwind of the last few days. Their one and only night in New York had been virtually sleepless. After Blaine accepted Kurt's offer of moving to Chicago they had talked until late, both being open and honest about recent events, how hurt they had been and discussing how to ensure they avoided such a situation in the future. The answer was simple, of course. Honesty really is the best policy, and both agreed to try and keep this at the center of all they do. Then there were the phone calls to both sets of parents. Burt had boomed his congratulations as Carole shrieked in the background, and Blaine's mom had talked incessantly about how happy she was that her darling boys had worked everything out, while Mike begged to be allowed to speak. Wes was at Nick and Jeff's, along with Sebastian, so all four cheered together, and Blaine promised to set about finding Wes a woman now that he no longer needed to babysit him. And then Santana and Rachel had arrived home. 

Surprisingly, Rachel was understanding. Kurt explained it was her advice which had helped him make his decision- she had told him that if after a week of normal living, the hole was still there, then he would know Blaine could be the only thing that would fill it. She was right. Of course, she preened uncontrollably at this news, which made Santana roll her eyes and walk off to her bedroom. Blaine found her curled up under her comforter, not crying but staring at the wall and ordering him out of her room, an order which he flatly ignored. 

"I'll still see you, you know," he had said to her gently as he spooned himself around her.

"No you won't," she sulked. "You won't be in Lima or New York anymore at all."

"So come to Chicago," he had told her, squeezing her tight. "Visit us for New Years, fly out for a weekend, I don't know. But don't sulk about it."

"I guess I kinda got a bit over excited when you arrived," she said as her voice cracked. "I thought I might be lucky enough to have all my best friends in the same place, and now I find out I'm losing two of them at once, and I'm left with Berry."

"You love Rachel," Blaine laughed as she huffed. "You do. But just because Kurt and I are moving, it doesn't mean we won't have time for you in our lives, okay?"

"Okay," she muttered reluctantly.

"You know, Kurt's absence means there's a spare place at NYADA. Maybe you should think about it. You're too good for waiting tables and tending bar."

"I know. Maybe I will," she shrugged. "I guess I have to fit somewhere, at some point, right?"

"You fit here," he said, putting a hand over her heart.

"You're touching my breasts."

"Here then," he laughed, spinning her around to face him and putting her hand on his chest. "You're my best girl, remember?"

She had cheered slightly at this, feeling the need to tell Blaine that she loved him but he was expressly forbidden- of course- from telling anyone. By the time he had fallen into bed alongside a completely over excited Kurt, both were exhausted. 

"I know we need to sleep..."

"We really do," Blaine answered, reaching for him in the dark. "It's nearly three." 

"But I just want to make out with you a little," and Blaine could see Kurt's smile and the way his eyes danced with merriment even in the gloom.

"A little," he grinned back.

A little turned into almost another hour, until kisses turned into worn out, half hearted attempts to connect their lips and then into Blaine's head lolling onto Kurt's chest and soft snores escaping them both. They left New York again just before seven, with as many of Kurt's belongings rammed into Blaine's already full car as possible. All his clothes, of course, and Blaine found himself feeling grateful that the rest hadn't already been shipped from Ohio.

"I'm going to end up with stuff in New York, stuff in Lima and stuff in Chicago." Kurt complained as they left the city behind.

"Shouldn't have so much stuff then," Blaine teased.

The long drive home passed easily, and then they were on the steps of the Hummel-Hudson's porch, being encased in the loving arms of four happy parents before Carole ushered them all inside for dinner. 

"I'm so happy," Burt kept smiling at everyone. "I was worried about you in New York, alone," he said to Kurt. "I wasn't going to say anything, of course- it wasn't my place- but you belong with Blaine. And Chicago... Wow. Best of both worlds. You two will be together, you can get home to us whenever you want, we can visit you..."

"When are you moving, darlings?" Sara asked. 

"Well, we're hoping to drive up on Monday, view some apartments," Blaine said as he squeezed Kurt's hand excitedly, "take a look at the college and meet Kurt's professors. After that...as soon as we can I guess. Within the week, hopefully. Kurt can't miss too much of the semester, he already has to take catch up classes to cover the first few weeks."

"Ah, you'll catch up in no time," Mike said confidently slapping Kurt on the back. "I'm proud of you, my son. Arriving at that decision on your own can't have been easy. But I'm positive it's the right one."

"Thank you," Kurt said, suddenly bashful. "And it is, I just know it is."

"I think we're all in agreement there," Carole said, and then Burt had proposed a toast to 'the lovebirds' as Kurt and Blaine stared at each other in abject wonderment. They had gone right to sleep as early as was socially acceptable that night, leaving Mike and Sara to play poker with Burt and Carole until the small hours. And now they found themselves heading back to Lima after a long but successful day in Chicago.

"Did you say something?" Kurt asks as he becomes conscious of Blaine waiting expectantly.

"Yes," he laughs, "but don't worry about it. I asked if your professors seem nice."

"Yeah," he smiles. "They do. My dance teacher seems a bit fierce, but most dance teachers are. My singing teacher is amazing though. He graduated from the conservatory and sings in the Chicago opera company. He's young too, well....compared to you, anyway," he teases. 

"He gay?"

"Blaine Anderson!" Kurt scoffs. "You're not getting jealous there, are you?"

"No...."

"You are too! Cute!...but silly and needless. Firstly, I'm living with you, you fool. We are officially live in lovers. And secondly, he's married with two small children and a third on the way."

"Oh. Oh. Well, good. He seems like a nice guy. Yes." 

Kurt laughs loudly at Blaine's pink cheeks then reaches over and takes his hand. "You're my one and only," he placates. "And no man- gay, straight or otherwise- is gonna make me change my mind."

"I know," Blaine tells him, kissing his fingertips. "But you're sitting with me tonight at dinner, okay? Nowhere near Sebastian."

"He's harmless."

"Ha! He's a good guy, but harmless he is not. Make no mistake, he'd have you if he could. He salivates whenever you walk into a room."

"There's a difference between admiring classic beauty and doing the dirty on one of your best friends," Kurt says as Blaine laughs. 

"So modest."

Their farewell dinner is loud and raucous. Finn and Puck join them, looking slightly worse for wear after a week of dorm living, and Carole fusses over both of them, joined by Sara who needs no excuse to be motherly. Nick and Jeff spend the entire evening convincing Burt to attend a classic car rally with them in Indianapolis the following weekend, and he eventually agrees much to their delight. 

"So," Blaine says across the table to Sebastian. "Will you miss me?"

"I will, actually," he says as he drops his napkin on the table. "A lot. But you're doing the right thing. God knows, I wish I was lucky enough to find someone as hot, young and nubile as him."

"Stop," Blaine says as a smile plays at the corner of his mouth.

"You know what I mean. A love like yours- that's what I really wish I could find."

"You need to be faithful for that to happen," he teases.

"Exactly," Sebastian smiles. "But as much as I'm going to miss you, there's someone else who is going to be utterly bereft," he says with a nod in Wes' direction.

"Go to him," Kurt urges in Blaine's ear. "Go for a walk or something."

"But you..."

"Will be fine," Kurt smiles sweetly. "Seb is right. He looks a little lost. Go be with your friend, I'll see you at home later."

"And this is why I love you," Blaine says with a soft kiss to his lips.

"Y'know, I was moving away anyways," Blaine says with a nudge to Wes' shoulder. They haven't walked far, just across the parking lot where they stand in relative peace and quiet to talk. "Chicago is closer than New York."

"I know," Wes says heavily. "It's not that."

"What, then?"

"It's just...I don't know. I'm happy for you, I really am. It's just...everything is falling into place for you. You're moving on and I'm...I'm losing you."

"Wes listen to me," Blaine says as he hugs him close. "You will never, ever lose me. I know I've been kinda preoccupied recently but yet again it's another chapter of my life that I simply wouldn't have gotten through if it wasn't for you. I owe you everything. My whole life. I will never walk away from you. There will always be a place for you in my home and more importantly, my life. You're my very best friend. Besides, who will I have to laugh at if you're not around?" 

"Thanks," he sniffs with a smile. "I'm gonna miss you so much. I didn't get to say it before, you were so busy getting ready to leave for New York. How do you feel, by the way?"

"About the change of plans?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome," Blaine grins at him. "I would have done New York, you know. My mind was made up. Nothing was going to keep me from him anymore but to hear Kurt say that to me...it was like all the pieces fit together." 

"You know... Going back a year, Kurt could have applied to Chicago in the first place, asked you to go with him, you could have said yes and bam! A year of heartache and 'Wes, what am I going to do?' could have been saved," he teases.

"Yeah, but think how many extra cuddles you got this way," Blaine jokes back. "Promise me you'll come visit as soon as you can?"

"I promise," Wes says as he wipes at his eyes. "I need my Blaine hugs."

"Are you free tomorrow after school?" Blaine asks suddenly.

"Yes, why?"

"There's one more thing I want you to do with me before I leave."

*

"So he was okay?" Kurt asks, pulling back the cover for Blaine to slide in next to him.

"Yeah, he'll be alright. He's stronger than I am, that's for sure," Blaine says as he pulls Kurt close. "We haven't been apart in so long now, it will be weird not seeing him so often." 

"I know," Kurt says sympathetically as he drops a kiss to his lips. "I feel the same about Rachel and Santana. But...on the plus side....we get to see each other everyday," he beams, "we can snuggle together every night and wake up together every morning." 

"I know." Blaine's smile is bright as he rolls his weight on top of Kurt. "And we can make out for as long as we choose."

"Just make out?"

"Well..." Blaine laughs. "I'm pretty sure we will get further than that. But right now I'd rather wait."

"What?" a stony faced Kurt asks him.

"I kinda thought we could... I don't know. Hold off until our first night in our own place," Blaine says, suddenly shy. "We were nearly over a week ago. I think we should spend a little time just being absorbed in each other again before we rush the physical side, that's all."

"Ugh. I hate it when you're right," Kurt huffs. "But..."

"I'm right."

"Yes. And that was incredibly painful for me to admit," he rushes on. "So assuming my tongue isn't barred from entering your mouth, I'd like to put it in there please, so I don't have to admit to anything else." 

Blaine roars with laughter before kissing him hard. "Go for it babe."

"Did you just call me babe, Blaine Anderson? Did you? Babe? Really?"

"I didn't mean...." he laughs uncontrollably. "Oh shit. I just know you're never gonna let me live this down."

"Never," Kurt grins, enjoying this far too much. "Next you'll be riding a skateboard and wearing baseball caps."

"No way!" Blaine cries, "Do you even know me at all?"

"I know you like to think of yourself as dapper, with your neat bowties and your gelled down hair."

"I am dapper! And a gentleman too, thank you very much." 

"Okay babe," Kurt teases, "Whatever you say, babe. Kiss me now, babe."

"I will if it will shut you up," Blaine grins as he rolls on top of him once more.


	2. Chapter 2

"And the bed goes here." Kurt says as he sweeps his arm along the large bedroom wall.

"No, the bed goes here," Blaine tells him as he leans against the adjacent wall.

"No, it goes here so we can lie side by side and look out at the view," Kurt reiterates, pointing to the large window opposite.

"It goes here and if I feel the need to study the view then I become big spoon for a change and look over your shoulder," Blaine smiles. "That wall has the bathroom on it."

"So?" Kurt scoffs. "The bathroom was on this wall in your old place."

"Yes, but it went straight," Blaine explains patiently. "This one goes round to the right, directly behind the bed, and as a gentleman, I'd like to keep some mystery alive," he says with a wink.

"Blaine, honey, I know you masturbate in there," he smiles sweetly. "It's okay."

"Kurt, honey," Blaine says, cocking his head to one side and scrunching his nose adorably. "I do other things in there too, which I'd rather you didn't have to listen to. Bed goes here." He smiles smugly at the blush on Kurt's cheeks as he advances. "However, if you ever want to listen to me masturbate, you are more than welcome. Now, can we just put the damn bed together so we can christen it?" 

"It's the same bed," Kurt laughs. "It's been christened to within an inch of its life. I'm surprised it's still standing." 

"Well it's not right now," Blaine says, pointing to all the pieces on the floor surrounding them. "Now let's get to it."

It is dark by the time they are finished, both having realized they are more than useless at furniture assembly. Still, Blaine's large, mahogany framed bed now stands proudly in the room, along with copious boxes. 

"Food," Blaine sighs wearily as he lies flat on the floor.

"Closet," Kurt says as he opens the doors and walks inside. "My clothes have been cooped up for days, they'll weep with joy to get put in here. How much room do you need?"

"Hmm, I get the feeling I'm gonna have to take whatever's left," Blaine smiles. He walks across the room and into the closet, sliding his arms around Kurt's waist and breathing hotly against his neck. "Not that I care. I don't know why a shared closet space makes me feel like a kid on Christmas, but it does," he grins against Kurt's skin. "I'll go sort food, you make your clothes- and yourself- deliriously happy."

Kurt whines when Blaine pulls away, needy, wanting and licking his lips as he watches him leave the room. When he returns laden with cartons of Chinese food it is to find Kurt in just his tight boxer briefs and the entire closet- including Blaine's clothes- neatly organized.

"I don't know where to start," Blaine says as he stares. "The fact that you are so amazingly talented at this type of thing," he says gesturing to the rows of clothes, "the fact that you did my stuff as well- which is just the cutest- or the fact that you're just wearing these," he says, tugging the waistband of the underwear and dipping his finger just below to run along the smooth skin. 

"Yes..." Kurt moans softly. "Start with the underwear. Please."

"Not yet," Blaine laughs as he backs away. "We have food."

"I'm hungry for something else," Kurt tries.

"I got orange chicken...." Blaine calls over his shoulder, laughing again when he hears Kurt running into the living room behind him. "Thought so. Would sir like to sit on the floor or on a packing carton?"

"Floor I think," Kurt says as he begins to set out the food while Blaine rummages around in the kitchen. 

"Aha!" comes the triumphant cry, and Blaine comes in holding two mugs and a bottle of champagne. "I couldn't find the glasses," he shrugs. "But a toast is needed to us," he says, popping the cork and filling the mugs. "On our first night in our first place."

"To us," Kurt agrees as they chink mugs. He winces at the fizz, but smiles at his lover and leans in for a kiss. "I am ridiculously excited."

"Me too," Blaine grins at him. "I didn't think it would be as thrilling as this, I mean, we were together a lot at my place or yours. But this is our place. And when I come home I'm coming home to you."

Kurt doesn't answer, just wriggles around until he's sitting between Blaine's legs, grinning all the while. They share their food happily, feeding each other with their chopsticks and laughing at the amount of rice that ends up down Kurt's chest. 

"Okay. That's it, I'm done," Kurt groans as he pushes the carton to one side. "Take me to bed so I can burn this lot off."

"Ha! Not yet."

"Always not yet," Kurt pouts as he turns around to look at him. "It's late."

"I know, but there's one more thing I need to do," Blaine smiles. "Wait here."

Kurt sits flicking through the information he has received for his course- a prospect which thrills and terrifies him at the same time. He startles when he hears banging coming from the bedroom, but then all goes quiet.

"Okay!" Blaine calls, and Kurt eagerly hurries into the room. 

"You put our picture up!" he exclaims happily, looking above the bed where their Hawaii portrait now hangs.

"I did, and it is not your mission to knock it from the wall by slamming me into the headboard," Blaine answers from the bed, and that's when Kurt looks down to find him devoid of clothes save for a tight pair of briefs.

"Oh Blaine," he purrs as he crawls onto the bed and over his body. "Briefs."

"Told you, I'm never wearing anything different since you said it gets you going."

"It does," he says as he leans down and nuzzles against his bulge. "Oh it really does."

"Cut right to the...oh!...chase, why don't you?" Blaine sighs happily as Kurt continues mouthing over his growing hardness. 

"Mmmm, I will," Kurt breathes. "I have missed this so much."

"Get up here so I can kiss you."

"I'll never turn down kisses," Kurt smiles as he snakes up the length of Blaine's body. Blaine's hand finds its way to the back of his neck and draws him closer, and then they are kissing hard, feverishly and as if they will never get enough of one another, groaning in pleasure as hands are given free rein once more and Blaine grips Kurt's ass tightly, pushing their clothed cocks together with a soft moan. 

"Oh Kurt!" Blaine mouths against his skin, desperate and wanting, overwhelmed with emotion as his fingers move to clutch at his back. "Kurt!"

"Yes?" he pulls back, looking wrecked and utterly debauched- hair wild, lips swollen and eyes dark. He hovers above Blaine, propped on his hands but keeps up a gentle, undulating rhythm with his groin, rubbing himself in small circles against his lover. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," a dazed Blaine replies as he smooths his hands over Kurt's biceps. "Just... Oh, Kurt! That's all. Feels so good to be like this again. The last time we made love it was beautiful, but sad. And now..."

"Now we're in our own apartment," Kurt grins, and can't help the giggle that bubbles up and escapes.

"And we're gonna christen all of it," Blaine smiles up at him. 

"Hell yes." Kurt swoops down and kisses him once more, pulling Blaine's thigh up to wrap around his waist, yelping when Blaine uses the leverage to flip them and pin Kurt's arms above his head before kissing him hard. He growls low in his throat, moving to nip playfully at Kurt's neck before he teases his nipples with his tongue, smiling against Kurt's chest at the way in which he arches off the bed. 

"Please, Blaine. Please."

"Tell me what you want." Blaine's voice comes hot and heavy as he runs his tongue over Kurt's stomach muscles, fingers teasing at the waistband of his underwear. 

"I wanna ride you," he whimpers brokenly. "Please let me ride you." 

"Oh darling, you don't even have to ask," Blaine grins broadly as he quickly shoves Kurt's boxer briefs to the floor. "Perfect," he whispers before bending to lick a strip up the underside of Kurt's cock which is flushed and wanting already. He sucks lightly at the head before Kurt is tugging him away.

"I will just explode everywhere," he chuckles, embarrassed.

Blaine nods his understanding and reaches to the nightstand for lube....only the nightstand isn't there. "Shit. Where the hell?"

"Um... There's a box somewhere," Kurt tries to think. "The one marked bedroom stuff."

"They're all marked bedroom stuff," Blaine points out as he surveys the room, then turns to Kurt with an eyebrow raised. "Think we can go without?"

"I'll bet you know exactly where the lube is," Kurt grumbles, but even as he does so he's falling eagerly onto all fours. "This is just a desperate ploy to rim me."

"You know me so well," Blaine laughs as he pulls his briefs off before draping himself over Kurt's back and kissing along his spine. "Oh holy fuck...it is so hot though," he groans as he drops kisses over Kurt's ass cheeks. "Seeing you falling apart because of my tongue in your ass." And then he's there, burying his face into Kurt as his tongue laps over his entrance, making it slick before pushing at the ring of muscle as Kurt whines his pleasure and grips the headboard tightly. 

"Jesus...fuck! Yes, Blaine. Just like that." He pushes back against Blaine's face, sucking in a sharp breath as he feels a finger, slick with saliva, pushing in alongside his tongue. "Please..." He is needy, wanting as he grabs at the sheets and his moans become louder.

"Not yet," Blaine smiles against him. "I know I keep saying that but really, not yet." He returns to the task in hand, pushing two fingers into Kurt and scissoring them, working him over with his tongue and hand as he grasps his own cock in desperation. 

"Blaine!" Kurt yells louder than ever as Blaine decides to see how much Kurt can take, fucking three fingers and his tongue inside simultaneously. Kurt falls flat onto the bed, rutting into the sheets as Blaine's face follows, unrelenting as he stretches Kurt wide. "Gonna come," Kurt groans, and Blaine growls in pleasure as he feels Kurt's hole tighten around his tongue, pulsing as he comes hard over the sheets then bats helplessly at Blaine's face who chuckles and pulls away. 

"Someone was eager."

"Someone's too darn good at that," Kurt mutters, head buried in the pillow. 

"You wouldn't get that living with Santana and Rachel," Blaine points out smugly as he falls alongside him. 

"I do not even want to think about them right now," Kurt groans, lifting his head and aiming a smack to Blaine's arm. "Do I get to ride you now, or what?"

"God you're so....young," Blaine laughs as he tugs Kurt on top of him. "Such a short recovery time. I love it."

"And you envy it," Kurt teases. 

"Yeah, that too." He laughs but stops abruptly as Kurt bends to suck at his cock, making him fully hard again within seconds and as slick as he can before he straddles him, sinking down slowly and biting his lip at the burn and drag. "You okay?" Blaine asks as he rubs Kurt's thighs soothingly. 

"Yes," he breathes as he gives himself a moment to adjust. "You're bigger than I remember."

Blaine throws his head back and laughs loudly. "It hasn't been that long," he points out. "And I promise I've not had any enhancements."

"Good," Kurt pants as he slowly begins to move, "you really don't need any." They fall silent as Blaine holds Kurt's hips tight while he rides his cock, the only sound coming from their labored breathing and the sound of their skin slapping together. Drawing his knees up, Blaine rises to meet Kurt's ass over and over, entranced by the way Kurt throws his head back and exposes his graceful throat. Kurt's hands rest on Blaine's chest, thumbs skimming absent mindedly over his nipples as his short, soft moans graduate to become longer and louder, punctuated by grunts of pleasure and exertion from Blaine as he thrusts up into him. Sensing his own impending pleasure, Blaine reaches for Kurt's cock, stroking him in time with their thrusts.

"Come with me," Blaine puffs out. "Kurt...." he gets no further as Kurt spills over his hand and he immediately feels his own orgasm hitting hard as he thrusts in as deep as he can, cock pulsing repeatedly as his hand grips Kurt's hip so hard it's sure to leave bruises. They stay that way, coming down from their high and waiting for their breathing to slow until eventually Kurt rolls off Blaine and curls into his side. 

"Ew," he groans, screwing up his face in distaste. "Wet patch."

"It's your mess," Blaine laughs as he pulls him tight against him. "God I love you so much, Kurt. So damn much."

"I know," he smiles as he kisses his shoulder. 

"No but really, I do," Blaine emphasizes. "Like, I love you so much, sometimes I feel like I could burst with the force of it. Like...I could get so much of you but it would never, ever, be enough. I am hopelessly, crazy in love with you right now. This is it," he beams as he props himself on one elbow to look down at him. "We're going to live with each other for the rest of our lives, Kurt. Think about that for a second."

"I'm sure that should be terrifying at only eighteen," Kurt muses for a moment. "But it's the most incredible feeling in the world. Ever," he grins as he pulls Blaine down into a long kiss. 

"Kicky feet dance?" Blaine asks as he smiles blissfully against Kurt's lips. 

"Kicky feet dance," Kurt laughs as they both lie on their backs, squealing and kicking their feet in excitement before dissolving into helpless laughter. 

"Just as well I'm living with you," Kurt says once they've recovered. 

"Why's that?" 

"I don't think anyone else would understand."

Blaine laughs again as he strips the sheet from under Kurt and rummages in a suitcase to find more. "I've missed laughing with you," he says, gazing down at him adoringly as he brushes the hair from his forehead. "We haven't done a lot of that recently, and now we are again. I'm glad."

"Well, it keeps you young, I guess," Kurt teases as he rolls for Blaine to slide the clean sheet under him. 

"Don't help or anything," Blaine laughs in disbelief. "It's okay. I'll do it."

"Thanks. And while you're up, I could really use some hot chocolate right now," he begs with wide blue eyes- the picture of perfect innocence. 

"Well that's just tough, cause we haven't unpacked the pans yet," he grins smugly as he falls back into bed and snuggles into Kurt.

"Ah! A little project for you tomorrow while I'm busy networking with all my new college friends." 

"Hmm, you feeling okay about that?" Blaine asks as he trails a finger up and down Kurt's torso. 

"Nervous as hell."

"Want me to walk you in?"

"Yes please," Kurt rushes out with a grateful kiss to his lips. "Thank you." 

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"You'll be beyond fabulous, I know it."

"With age comes wisdom, huh?"

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Shut it."

"Blaine?"

"Yes?" 

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	3. Chapter 3

"Did I miss it?" Kurt asks, sitting bolt upright as he tries to untangle himself from the sheets.

"No," Blaine smiles as he sets a plate and mug down on top of the nearest box. "Relax. It's still early, you have plenty of time. I made you breakfast."

He hands him a plate of pancakes and drops a kiss into his adorably messy bed hair before sitting next to him and running a hand over his leg. 

"Someone found the pans then," Kurt notes as he digs in gratefully.

"I may or may not have been up for two hours," Blaine says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought about waking you with a blowjob, but I figured you'd need some sustenance for your classes."

Kurt pauses, fork halfway to his mouth as he thinks about it. "Blowjobs are always welcome," he shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips. "But waking up to breakfast in bed...in our apartment...made by my boyfriend, the boyfriend I live with...yeah. Kinda awesome." And then his smile bursts forth, lighting up his whole face and proving irresistible to Blaine who takes his face in his hands and kisses him hungrily.   
*  
"Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Kurt breathes nervously as he smooths his hands over his jacket. "Is this... Do you think... Do I look okay?"

"You look perfect," Blaine says as he pulls him close. 

"I wish it were cold enough for the coat," Kurt moans, "then I could feel like you were with me all day long."

"Do you mean the mid length cashmere trench coat in pale gray melange?" Blaine teases. "It'll be fall soon, and you can wear it again. In the meantime, give me your wrist."

"What?"

Blaine reaches in his pocket, then taking Kurt's wrist, fixes a small comedy tragedy mask charm to his bracelet. "To wish you luck," he says quietly, shy as ever when giving Kurt a gift. 

"It's beautiful, but you didn't..."

"Have to. I know, I know. But guess what?"

"You wanted to."

"Correct. Come on. I want to walk my beautiful boyfriend to his first day at college." 

They walk hand in hand the short distance to the university campus, and manage to successfully navigate to the correct building for Kurt's first acting class with plenty of time to spare. A few other students are milling about, and Blaine feels Kurt shrinking into his side as he realises they all know each other already. 

"You'll be fine," Blaine whispers into his hair. "Go say hi. Introduce yourself."

"I can't."

"You can. I'll wait here. Go." He gives him a small nudge and watches as Kurt approaches the group nervously, fiddling with the bracelet around his wrist as he talks. One girl reaches out, gesturing to his bag and Blaine smiles as Kurt's face lights up and the words "Burberry smoked plaid leather..." reach his ears, and he knows all will be well. He stands, hands in pockets as he takes in his surroundings, smiling politely at a student as he approaches. 

"Hey. So, are you the new theatre professor? I need to talk to you. The sub last week set us this assignment and I..."

"Um...no," Blaine laughs, embarrassed as he rubs the back of his neck. "That's not...I'm not...um..."

"He's my boyfriend," Kurt comes to his rescue, offering his hand to the bewildered young man. "Hi. I'm Kurt Hummel. Today is my first day, and this is my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson, completely not a student or professor." 

"Oh! Hi! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," the young man gushes, pushing a mop of sandy brown hair away from his eyes. "I just....assumed," he says as he gestures to the bow tie and vest Blaine is wearing. "Sorry. Joe, by the way! I'm Joe." he offers his hand to each of them in turn, still apologizing profusely no matter how many times Kurt and Blaine reassure him that it's fine. "So you're new?" he asks Kurt with interest. "That's cool. We've not done much in the first few weeks anyway. I'm sure you'll catch up."

"Yeah, we just moved into our apartment yesterday," Kurt says with more than a hint of pride.

"Oh, so you're really together, together," Joe says.

"Yep." Blaine proudly puts his arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulls him closer. "Completely."

"Cool. My girlfriend went to Texas, so we'll see what happens there I guess," Joe laughs. "Oh. Here comes Adam. I'd better introduce you," he sighs- though Kurt can tell he isn't exactly thrilled at the prospect. "He's British." 

"Oh, hello," Adam says brightly as he smiles at Blaine. "Are you the new professor?"

"Uh no. I'm...um..."

"My boyfriend." Kurt's icy tone and glare have Joe taking a small step backwards as he lets the scene unfold.

"Oh. I see," Adam says, eyeing Kurt appreciatively before looking back to Blaine. "You seem kind of old."

"You don't look so young yourself, mate," Blaine spits as his arm tightens possessively around Kurt's shoulders.

"Mature student, like yourself," Adam smiles tightly.

"I'm not, actually. Been there, done it. Graduated with a first class degree in Music and Music theory from NYU."

"Oh."

"Joe, it was a pleasure meeting you," Blaine says politely as he shakes the young mans hand. "I hope to see you again sometime." He flicks a glance to Adam but says nothing, then kisses Kurt full on the lips. "I love you, gorgeous boy. Have a fantastic day. I'll be thinking of you."

"Love you too, professor," Kurt whispers with a tiny laugh. "That's totally hot, by the way," he says as he tugs playfully at Blaine's vest. 

Blaine walks slowly away, happy to see Adam has already moved to annoy another group. He raises a hand over his shoulder to wave goodbye. 

"Blaine!" 

He turns, continuing to walk but backward now as he looks at Kurt. 

"I'll see you at home."

Blaine's face breaks out into a broad grin at Kurt's words, a grin which Kurt matches as he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth. Turning with a skip, Blaine hears Kurt laugh out loud behind him, and returns home to wait. 

*

"Hi honey, I'm home!" a weary but happy Kurt calls out. "Wow." He steps into the large, open plan kitchen and living area to find it transformed and Blaine setting a lasagna on the table triumphantly. 

"I got busy."

"So I see," Kurt smiles as he looks around him. Only two boxes remain, other than that the entire place is pristine. "Now we just need to rearrange the furniture and we'll be all set."

"Oh no you don't, mister," Blaine laughs. "I mean, you can, if you really want, but right now I need you to call your dad and then my mom to tell them how you got on. Then it's dinner time and you can tell me everything."

"Did they call then?" 

"Did they call? Hmmm. Did they call? They've plagued me all day with calls and texts. My mom even went so far as to send me an email- which Cooper got instead, prompting him to call too. But you can text him later." 

Kurt laughs, filled with affection for his family as he dials. After reassuring Burt several times that he was safe on the streets of Chicago, and telling Sara Anderson repeatedly that he and Blaine are eating okay, he hangs up the phone and sits at the table.

"So," Blaine says as he sets his dinner down.

"So."

"How was it?"

"Good. Mostly. Yeah. I enjoyed it. I stayed with Joe most of the day. He's really nice, and he introduced me to a few others. Adam is a complete jerk though."

"Oh thank god," Blaine rushes out. "I was so worried you'd come home and tell me he was actually an amazing guy or something."

"No," Kurt says, in such a surly manner that Blaine laughs at his youth. "Guy's a jerk. Plus he was salivating over you."

"He was not! He was just trying to suck up for a better grade. Once he looked at you, however..."

"Well he can dream on. Ugh. He's all.... British."

"You can't just generalize an entire nation!" Blaine laughs. "Jonathan's British- and he's not an idiot."

"True," Kurt muses with a smile. "Anyway. Joe asked me to a bar on Friday. Can we go?"

"We?"

"Yes... You and me," Kurt clarifies. 

"Um... You go. I'm good."

"What? No. I don't want to go without you."

"Kurt...these are your friends. Your age. Our age difference may not matter to us, but I highly doubt a group of eighteen and nineteen year olds are gonna want a guy of thirty three dragging along with them." 

"But I want you there," Kurt says in a small voice. "I want these people to meet you, I want you to meet them. Please? If you feel uncomfortable we can come home."

Blaine sighs. "Okay. But if I feel uncomfortable, I am coming home. Not you."

"Will you dance with me?" Kurt asks.

"Will you behave?"

"Absolutely not."

"Then of course I will."

They both laugh at this, and then Blaine's strong hand is covering Kurt's own as he looks into his eyes. "Are you happy?"

"What? Of course I am. You know that, don't you?"

"I think you are, yes," Blaine smiles. "But you know...we've never really talked about why you wanted to leave New York, we just decided to come here instead. I'd have done it you know, I'd have lived there with you."

"I know," Kurt nods as he pushes his plate to one side. "The few days before you arrived....I just...felt so unsettled. Truth be told, it wasn't the place, or the people- or even the roommates," he smiles. "But there is always a piece of me missing when I'm not near to you. I thought about it long and hard, I really did. And I reasoned that even if you wouldn't move here with me, it was still close enough for one or other of us to travel each weekend. I could survive seeing you only on weekends. It wouldn't be my choice, of course- my choice is this. But just like you could have done New York for me, I would have done that for us because....because we just need each other, don't we? I can't explain it any better, I'm sorry." 

"We do. I agree," Blaine says with a squeeze to his hand. 

"What about you? Why did you change your mind?"

"The exact same thing. We need each other. I remember sitting at my piano, writing this song and I just suddenly asked myself why I was doing this to us? Not to me, or you, but us. And that's what hit me the most I guess. I think of us, not you and I. I don't know when that started, maybe it was instantaneous, maybe it was gradual, I don't know. But there it was. Imprinted on my mind as clear as day. I've never told you this, but Will Schuester talked with me, way back before you graduated. He told me I was looking back, when I should be looking forward. When we met, I had just turned thirty one. I was in a position to meet someone, move in together, marry, have kids...all of that. A lot of people, by the time their thirties hit, are tied down to someone. But although I always wanted that, we weren't in a position to start any of that together. Nearly three years on, I realized that we were. Rachel gave me the kick I needed, when she told me that you had always envisaged it being just us living together in New York. I figured you thought I'd have my own place, or the four of us would live together. And sitting there, that day, I realized what a fool I was. I had waited patiently all this time for us to be able to start our future, and now I was the only one holding that back." 

"What was the song?" Kurt asks with a smile.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Blaine answers with a wink.

"Is it for me? Play it."

"The piano isn't arriving until next week," Blaine says as he artfully avoids the kick to his shin. 

"C'mere," Kurt calls as Blaine loads the dishwasher. He rinses his hands and drying them on a dish towel, goes to him, settling on his lap and wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck. 

"Well this is new," Blaine comments. "It's usually the other way around. You hold me in bed, I hold you in chairs. That's just how it goes."

"You're not very receptive to change, are you?" Kurt teases as he holds Blaine close. "Just be quiet while I talk. I know you're used to that, so it shouldn't be too much of a challenge." 

"True."

"So... Thank you. I guess that's what I want to say more than anything. Thank you for having enough faith in us to overcome your fears for us. And also sorry. I've never apologized....for most things, actually, because I find it difficult. But I've never apologized for running out on you that night. I shouldn't have done, and it plays on my mind. I know we're good, I know you're not expecting or needing to hear me say it, but what I did was cruel, and I'm sorry."

"Kurt...you don't need to say sorry. We both wanted it, we both consented and it wasn't some frenzied quick fling in the back of a car or something. I know the circumstances surrounding it were sad, but I had actually never felt more connected to you than I did in that moment. God knows I adore the teasing, the fire and the passion but...that night...the care and time that we took to be with one another...it was beautiful. So please, don't apologize for the way in which we love one another. We needed each other in that moment, nothing else would have sufficed. And although we weren't ready to reconcile completely, I think it was still an important step, because in a weird way, it gave us both hope."

"So...if I ask you to take me to bed right now...?"

"I'd say the dishes can wait until morning," he says as he takes Kurt's hand and leads him to the bedroom.

"No...let me," Kurt whispers, voice sultry and low as he stops Blaine's hands on his buttons. "Let me undress you. Let me touch you, taste you. Give yourself to me."

Blaine shivers in anticipation, feeling a small thrill at the way in which Kurt can still get his heart racing with his words alone. His hands rest loosely on Kurt's waist as he slowly works open the buttons on Blaine's shirt, pushing it from his shoulders and letting it fall softly to the floor. He runs his hands almost reverently over Blaine's strong shoulders, down his arms and then up to his chest, darkened by hair that Kurt stoops to nuzzle into. He licks broad strips across each nipple, smiling when he hears Blaine's breath catch in his throat, then kisses his way up, along his jaw until he reaches his lips. 

So many kisses have been shared but each one still holds the ability to make them gasp with pleasure, and moan softly as their tongues join and hands move to frame faces and tug gently at hair. Kurt removes the rest of Blaine's clothing, then his own, and as they settle on the bed on their sides facing each other, Kurt reaches out to trail a finger lightly along Blaine's collarbone. 

"I don't think I'll ever tire of your beauty," he whispers, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Oh please," Blaine scoffs, though he keeps his voice low. "When I'm old and gray and you're still young, fit and nubile you'll have to remember that once upon a time you found me attractive."

"No, when you're gray you're going to look even more handsome and distinguished than you already do," Kurt corrects as he leans to kiss him deeply. He rolls on top of him, smoothing his hands over his strong shoulders as he does so. "And I'm always gonna find you attractive you silly fool," he smiles against his lips as he feels Blaine relax under him. 

Falling onto his side again, Kurt gestures for Blaine to spoon in front of him, pulling him close and dropping a soft kiss to his shoulder before Blaine feels a slick finger trailing down his crack. 

"Sneaky," he gasps out as he feels Kurt smiling against his back. 

"I located and stashed the lube under the pillow before I left this morning," Kurt acknowledges as he presses his finger to Blaine's entrance. "I need to be inside you. I need to feel you surrounding me."

Blaine moans at this, pushing himself back onto Kurt's hand a little more and groaning in contentment as he feels himself being stretched wide. "Own me," he whispers, face buried into the pillow and words so quiet that Kurt wonders if he's misheard. 

"What? You want..."

"I want you to claim me," he clarifies. "Own me. Take me as yours."

"Oh that's.... Yeah," Kurt breathes as he slides another finger into Blaine's tight ass. "That's really hot." He runs his other hand up Blaine's chest, caressing his throat before pushing his head back to an almost uncomfortable angle until it rests on Kurt's shoulder and he can lean over to reach his neck. "You want me to mark you?"

"Oh god yes," Blaine whimpers, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

"Where? Here?" Kurt asks, scraping his teeth just above his collar bone. "Or here?" he asks, moving higher so his mouth rests just below Blaine's jaw. "Where everyone will see? Where everyone will know that you're mine?"

"Yes...there...fuck!" he cries out as Kurt bites sharply into the soft skin and pushes a third finger into his ass simultaneously, clutching Blaine tight around the waist to stop him from writhing around. 

Kurt hears the sharp intake of breath from Blaine, the hiss of pain as he bites deeper but then soothes with his tongue, sucking, pulling and aggravating the soft flesh until a large dark purple bruise stands out starkly against his skin. 

"You..." Blaine rambles as he reaches around to tug at Kurt's thigh. "Need you...."

And Kurt happily obliges, pushing deep inside Blaine before he stills, breathing hard and trying not to become overwhelmed. "Shit," he moans softly before pushing Blaine's head back onto his shoulder once more. "So tight. And perfect." With one hand loosely around Blaine's throat, and the other holding him tight around the waist, he snaps his hips back and forth, working his mouth over Blaines neck and shoulder all the while, filling him repeatedly and making Blaine weak with desire.

"Oh god Kurt....yes!" Blaine's words are gasped out, his body twisted almost to the point of pain but the pleasure of Kurt owning this, controlling the situation and controlling him precedes it, as the arm across his waist moves lower and Kurt starts to stroke his aching cock in time with his thrusts. "Kurt...so good," Blaine moans, his whole body burning with want as he hears Kurt's breath coming in short ragged gasps and knows he's close. "Fuck me baby, go on. Take me."

"Yes...Blaine," Kurt pants as his thrusts drive deeper and harder. "My Blaine..." He sinks his teeth into Blaine's shoulder one last time as his whole body shudders his release and he moans quietly, and still buried deep inside Blaine's heat he carries on stroking his cock, bringing his boyfriend closer and closer to the edge. 

"Talk to me Kurt," Blaine begs brokenly.

"Go on, Blaine," Kurt whispers into the shell of his ear. "Come for me. Do you feel my come inside you, baby? Filling you up? Making you mine?" The only response being a deep, lust filled moan, Kurt withdraws, pushing two fingers right into Blaine's stretched hole, gathering his own come and shoving them deep into Blaine's mouth, who hums appreciatively. 

"More."

"Yeah? You like that?" Kurt asks as he repeats the action. "You like tasting me?" 

"Wanna come in your mouth then kiss you," Blaine moans as he laps at Kurt's fingers. "Please."

Kurt sinks down around him and Blaine is coming in seconds, hips thrusting, pushing himself as far into Kurt's mouth as he can as he spills repeatedly before Kurt's mouth is on his, tongue pushing, swirling, letting Blaine taste every bit of himself as it mingles with the taste of Kurt and he falls back wearily against the pillows, an exhausted, quivering mess. 

"Fuck."

"You're such a gentleman," Kurt teases as he falls into Blaine's arms. "You tell me you want to come in my mouth, but never forget to add a please."

"I like to be polite," he shrugs with a grin.

"So this is really a thing for you, huh?" Kurt asks as he trails a finger absentmindedly over Blaine's chest.

"What?"

"The being claimed thing."

"Yes.... No. I don't know really. It's you. I like you to take control. I like to feel you owning me, I like to give myself to you like that."

"Can I ask why? Don't get me wrong," Kurt rushes on. "It's hot. I like...I like to be the one who is making you feel stuff, making you come apart like that. I just wondered...why." 

"Because..." Blaine muses for a while, fingers dancing over the smooth skin of Kurt's back as he searches for the right words. "Because that side of you is for me, and no one else. We....explored together. We continue to do so, but for a while...when we first started out, it was a case of me holding back as best I could while I showed you stuff. The fact that I was all your firsts still fills me with awe. You were this shy, nervous boy who didn't even like to say the word sex...and now you're this....this amazingly sexy man who has the ability to make me come apart in seconds if you so choose...who holds so much power... And I see it. I see it in the way you hold yourself, the way you converse with people. This confidence. And just under the surface...the part that no one can see except me, is this sex fiend." 

Kurt laughs as he rolls onto his front, nudging against Blaine affectionately. "Sex fiend? Yeah, I'll take it. So... You wanna start calling me sir, or what?"

"Not a chance," Blaine chuckles. "Don't go getting any ideas just cause I like you to take control every once in a while. I'm still capable of handcuffing you to the balcony and fucking you into the middle of next week if I choose, and you'll just have to bend over and take it...... What?" he asks as he takes in the sight of Kurt staring at him, mouth slightly agape.

"Um... Wow. Yeah."

"What?"

"I just.... Fuck."

"You getting horny there again, gorgeous boy?" Blaine teases as he smooths a hand over Kurt's ass. 

"Your fault," Kurt grumbles as he lets his head fall forward onto the pillow. 

"So you like the idea of me doing that to you?"

"I like the idea of being at your mercy as much as you like giving yourself to me, it seems. And now I'm supposed to be going to sleep but all I can think is how good your mouth would feel around my cock."

Blaine drapes himself along the length of Kurt's body and kisses softly behind his ear. "Quick blow job then sleep," he whispers, shifting so Kurt can turn under him. "I'll walk you to class in the morning."

"I don't think you'll be leaving the apartment for a few days," Kurt says apologetically as he runs his finger over the bruised flesh of Blaine's neck, biting his lip as he watches him wince. "Sorry."

"I wanted it," Blaine smiles down at him. "And I want to walk you to class tomorrow. You may be a sex fiend, but you're mine and I like to take care of you," he says proudly. 

"'Kay," Kurt grins, suddenly feeling his heart swoop with delight at Blaine's words. "I think I might have the best boyfriend ever, so I'll allow it," he concedes as Blaine moves lower.


	4. Chapter 4

"Not your scene?" Joe asks as he hands another beer to Blaine and surveys the dance floor where Kurt gyrates happily amongst a large group of girls. 

"It's not that," he replies, nodding his thanks as he takes a mouthful. "I just want this evening to be about Kurt and his friends, not about me." 

"He's crazy about you, you know," Joe says with a smile. 

"I know," Blaine grins at Kurt's arms rising high above his head as he twists and turns. "But we can't just be about each other all the time. He needs friends."

"Oh he has them," Joe confirms. "Especially the girls. I think it's the impeccable fashion sense that does it. I'm gonna keep close by his side at all times. Chicks gravitate towards him." 

Blaine laughs at this and the two drink their beers in companionable silence for a while, until a grimace passing across Joe's face alerts Blaine to Adam's presence by his side.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Blaine says sharply. 

"He sure as hell wasn't invited," Joe murmurs, but loud enough to be heard over the music.

"I'm here with some friends actually," Adam says as he points towards another group of students. "I just thought I'd say hi."

"Well you've said it," Blaine points out. 

"Kurt looks like he's having fun," Adam remarks as the crowd clears, giving the three men a clear view of Kurt's Gangnam Style.

"He is." 

"Can I ask, does the age thing bother you? I mean you're what.... Twenty years older?"

"Fifteen," Blaine gets out through gritted teeth. 

"My mistake," Adam says with a smile. "Still. Doesn't it worry you, that when you're forty he's gonna be this stunning twenty five year old with guys and girls falling at his feet?"

"Nope," Blaine says confidently. "Kurt and I don't want anyone else. We've been together over two years. I have no reason to doubt that we always will be." 

"Really? You think that at eighteen Kurt can commit to a lifelong relationship?" Adam says with a sneer. "Do you not know how many high school relationships fall by the wayside because one or other of the parties wants to experiment?"

"Kurt's different," Joe interjects with a reassuring hand to Blaine's shoulder. "He was confident and secure enough in his relationship with Blaine to move here with him. He's already told me he sees marriage and kids in his future."

"And you've known him what? A week?" Adam laughs. "Of course he's gonna want to live with his sugar daddy and have all he wants lavished upon him. Who wouldn't? But doesn't it bother you Blaine, that if- and I really mean if- you and Kurt make it, by the time he's ready to be a father you're gonna be ready to retire?"

"I'll wait as long as Kurt wants," Blaine says as he grips his beer hard to keep from punching him.

"And what if that's not until he's thirty five? You want to be a first time daddy at fifty? How is that fair to a kid?" 

"Adam." Blaine stands, placing his bottle on the bar and turning to face him. "Fuck off." He turns back to Joe with a smile. "Excuse me. I'm going to go and dance with my boyfriend while my hips can still move." And with that he weaves his way across the dance floor, heart pounding with rage until he sees Kurt's face light up as he holds his hands out to him. 

"Hey!" a tipsy Kurt cries happily. "You okay?"

"I am now," Blaine replies truthfully as he nuzzles into Kurt's neck. 

"What did Adam want? I saw him talking with you."

"Ugh. He was just being a jerk as usual. Don't worry about it. Are you having fun?"

"Yeah, but you've been kinda distant."

"Because tonight is for you have fun with your college friends," he says as he kisses his cheek sweetly. "But I'm here now." He pulls Kurt tighter, making sure to glare at Adam as he looks over Kurt's shoulder, daring to run his tongue out and lick along his neck. He smiles in satisfaction as Kurt throws his head back and moves his hands to grip Blaine's ass. 

"You sure are," he gasps happily. "You know... We could always blow this off."

"Time for that later," Blaine laughs. 

"You could get me off in the bathroom," Kurt tries.

"I could not!" 

"Old men are no fun," Kurt pouts. His eyes sparkle with jest but Blaine swallows and stares at the floor. 

"Sorry."

"Hey, no," Kurt says as he lifts his chin gently. "I was teasing you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Blaine says with a smile of forced brightness. "Yeah it's okay. Come on. I promised Joe we could do Tequila."   
*  
"More!" Kurt yells happily as Blaine circles his arms around his waist.

"Kurt, honey, you've just done four shots in a row. When that stuff hits you're gonna be reeling. No more."

"Yeah, more!" He shouts again. 

"Ignore your boyfriend," a girl calls- Anna- Blaine thinks it is. "He's just being old and grumpy."

The students down more tequila happily, Kurt slamming his glass down and gasping for breath as the liquor hits the back of his throat before he turns to Blaine with a predatory smile. "C'mere sexy," he slurs as he uses his tie to pull him close. "I wanna do body shots." 

"No, not here," Blaine says firmly as he places Kurt's hands back by his side, "and I told you, you've had enough."

"Please Daddy?" Kurt pouts. "You do them then," he says as he tries to push a glass into Blaine’s hand- not noticing the way his eyes are darkening in anger. 

"Don't ever call me that," Blaine says forcefully into Kurt's ear. "Never." 

"Why are you bein' so miserable?" Kurt asks loudly, causing others in the group to turn and look at them. "Less have sex. Make it all better."

"Kurt. Stop."

"Oh go home then," he snaps drunkenly, turning his back. "You said you would, if you didn't like it. S'all too much fun for you."

"I can see him home," a voice offers, "I could help with those body shots too," and Blaine whirls around, seething, to confront Adam. 

"Don't you fucking dare," he growls. "Kurt, lie on the table."

"Wha'?"

"Lie on the table and lift your shirt," Blaine snaps possessively as he takes the shot glass from Kurt's hand. Joe happily positions a slice of lime between Kurt's teeth and a girl passes Blaine the salt. 

"This is gonna be so hot!" she squeals as Blaine climbs on the table astride Kurt's thighs. He decorates Kurt's hard stomach with a line of salt, then turning to Adam with an arrogant smirk, he tilts his glass towards him. 

"My boyfriend. Never yours. Just remember that." 

He licks the salt from Kurt's skin, downs the shot and then falls on top of him to take the lime from between his teeth, spitting it to one side before kissing him roughly, running his tongue deep into Kurt's mouth as he tangles his fingers into his hair and pulls hard. "Stop calling me old," he snarks as he pulls back. "Now dance with me."

"Wha?"

"You heard," he says as he gets to his feet and pulls Kurt with him. "Dance." 

"Jesus Christ Blaine!" Kurt cries as he feels Blaine’s fingers digging uncomfortably into his hips. "Take it easy." 

"Why? I can dance with my boyfriend if I want."

"Yeah, you can," Kurt says as he staggers slightly and falls against Blaine’s chest. "But you're hurting me."

"And you're not hurting me?" Blaine asks, raising one eyebrow and trying to look into Kurt's unfocused eyes. 

"I can't be doing with your little mind games Blaine," he drawls as he pushes out of his embrace. "You got a problem with Adam then fine, just go home. I'm gonna go back to my friends." 

Blaine doesn't know how much Kurt manages to drink in the time it takes him to use the bathroom, splash cold water on his face and help a drunken girl locate her purse, but when he returns it is to find Kurt weaving around unsteadily, knocking into the shoulder of a guy who promptly spills his drink and stands to confront him. 

"Sorry, sorry," Blaine rushes out as he pulls Kurt tight to his side. "Here," he says as he thrusts a twenty at the guy. "Get some more drinks. I'm taking him home, he's had enough." He signals to Joe that they're leaving and slings Kurt's arm over his shoulder as he tries to drag him toward the exit. 

"Here, let me help you with that heavy load," a voice says as much to Blaine's eternal gratitude, Joe takes Kurt's weight on the other side. 

"You don't have to."

"It's okay, I was gonna leave now anyway. I'll help you get him in a cab. He's quite the drinker, huh?" Joe comments as Kurt's head lolls forward and they finally make it outside. 

"He's not usually," Blaine says with a rueful smile. "In fact I've only seen him really drunk once before tonight. But I was too, so it was kinda fun. When you're half sober it..."

"It sucks ass," Joe fills in. "My girlfriend got really drunk after senior prom and tried to make out with two of my friends."

"Oh. Ouch." 

"Yeah. At least you know Kurt wouldn't do that."

"No, I trust him. I just don't trust Adam." 

"Adam's British!" Kurt cries suddenly lifting his head and coming to life once more. "If I had sex with him it would be like...like havin' sex with the Queen. Ugh."

"He's a fucking obnoxious drunk," Blaine says to Joe as they start to look for cabs. 

"Yeah. Pretty much. Good luck with that, dude." They manage to manhandle Kurt into a cab and Blaine gives their address to the wary driver before Kurt falls fast asleep with his head in Blaine's lap. 

*

The first thing Kurt notices is someone playing with his hair. He assumes it's Blaine but his eyes seem to be unable to open due to the blinding light beyond his lids. The second thing is that his mouth feels like someone has fitted it with carpet, and he has a thirst which needs the Nile to quench it. Next, which he notices as he sits, are a plethora of things. The sharp piercing pain through his skull, the dull throb from his right elbow and wrist and overwhelming nausea, which forces him to open his eyes and try to run to the bathroom, but Blaine thrusts a plastic bowl under his chin just in time as he heaves until he's dry and spent and falls, trembling with a cold sweat, back onto the bed. 

"Am I dead?" he croaks. "I must be."

"No. You should be, the amount of alcohol you managed to consume. But miraculously you're still here. Probably because my shoes, a cab interior and the bathroom floor were on the receiving end of your stomach's contents last night." 

"Your shoes?" Kurt whispers, horrified. 

"Yes. My shoes," Blaine says stiffly. "Also my pants and one arm of my jacket. But we won't go into that. Let's just say if projectile vomiting were an Olympic sport, you'd win gold."

"Oh god I'm so sorry," a mortified Kurt says quietly as Blaine helps him to drink a glass of water. 

"That's not what you should be sorry for."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it," he says, rising from the bed and kissing Kurt's forehead softly. "I'm going to empty this," he says, gesturing to the vomit filled bowl, "Then I'm going for a run. Get some more sleep, I'll make breakfast when I get back." 

"Are we fighting?" Kurt pads into the kitchen in his pajamas two hours later to find Blaine making pancakes and pouring coffee into a large mug. 

"What makes you say that?" He turns to face him with a tight smile and gestures to Kurt to sit at the table where a large glass of water and painkillers are waiting for him. 

"I feel like maybe we are. There's this...atmosphere. Like you're playing at being okay but you're really not." 

Blaine, dressed in old worn sweats and a hoodie and fresh from the shower, sets the pancakes on the table and sits opposite, sighing heavily. "I don't want us to be," he says honestly, "but I am upset."

"Can I ask why?"

"Ugh. I didn't like the way you behaved last night," he says as he fiddles with the drawstring on his hoodie. "And I hate myself for saying that, because I can hear how condescending it sounds, and you're probably sitting there thinking that I'm a stupid, miserable old man." 

"Did I behave like a brat?"

"You had fun with your friends, which was good, and in all honesty I probably wouldn't be as upset with stuff had it not been for that jerk.”

“Adam?”

“I hate him Kurt,” Blaine says as he lifts his head. “I really hate him. I mean, he knows we’re together. What gives him the right to try and move in on you?”

“You know I wouldn’t though, yes? I mean, not in a million years.”

“Oh I know,” Blaine reassures him hurriedly. “I trust you implicitly and I know that neither of us would ever cheat. He knows that too though, so now he’s trying to cast doubt, make me feel insecure in the hope I’ll call it a day...and it just riles me. I’m usually fairly placid but Adam...I’ve never wanted to hit somebody as badly as I do him.” 

“What was he saying?”

“Just pointing out the age difference,” Blaine mumbles as he prods at a pancake, “that when I’m forty you’re gonna be in your prime, and by the time you want kids I’m gonna be too old to be a first time father.”

“Bullshit,” Kurt snaps as he slams his mug down. “It’s not his fucking business anyway. That bothers you?”

“Yeah. Kind of. But then you made like...I don't know, four or five digs at my age last night and it all just made me feel...”

“Like shit.”

“Well.....yes.”

“I'm sorry,” Kurt says sincerely as he reaches across for Blaine’s hand. 

“It’s okay. I want you to have fun with your friends, I want you to experience college life for what it is..”

“Yes, and that's very sweet of you, but I don't want to do that at the expense of our relationship. I probably took the teasing a bit too far. I think the more I had to drink the more I tried to be the center of attention.”

“You don't need to try at that.”

“Not with you, no. But I was nervous. I want these people to like me. Not Adam- I couldn't care less what he thinks. But Anna, Jordan and the others. I think,” he pauses to clear his throat, flushing slightly as he struggles with his brutal honesty. “I think I teased you about your age to try and prove I was one of them. That even though you’re older, and I’m living with you and not in dorms, I can still go out and have fun. And that was inexcusable. I really am sorry.” 

“Um...well, thank you. I guess. Thank you for being honest, and the apology. But please don't ever do that again. I don't mind you going out with them, I don't mind you getting drunk. I can even tolerate the throwing up but...please don't embarrass me like that again. And never call me Daddy. I know you were trying to be funny but...no. I want my kids to call me daddy and no one else.”

“Okay. And Blaine? Just so you know... I think Adam is the biggest jackass I’ve ever met. Please just try and ignore him. He will never be in my circle of friends, or even vague acquaintances.”

“Really? I was hoping we could invite him for the holidays.” Blaine smiles as he holds his arms out to Kurt who runs to him readily, falling into his strong embrace and curling against his chest.

“Are we good?”

“Of course we are.” Blaine’s hands find soft, warm skin under Kurt’s pajama top and rub gentle, soothing circles over his back as he kisses his lips. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ll never recover,” Kurt admits. “I really had far too much.”

“You did. But it’s a lesson learned.”

“I’m so sorry about your shoes,” Kurt whispers into his hair. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Hmm...You could take me to Kurt Geiger and buy me some new ones?”

“Your shoes were Kurt Geiger?” Kurt cries as he pulls back to look at him, “How did I not know this?”

“No,” Blaine says nonchalantly, “I just thought that was how you could make it up to me.”

“Jerk,” Kurt says affectionately as he kisses him again. 

“Your jerk,” Blaine answers proudly. 

“Always.”


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you want to do for Thanksgiving?” Kurt asks one evening as he loads the dishwasher. 

“I don't mind,” Blaine replies. He is seated at the kitchen table, on his laptop as he replies to various emails and tries to manage his session bookings. Their three months in Chicago so far have flown by. Kurt is busy with college and working two evenings and a Saturday morning in the campus Library. Blaine, for his part, has never been busier. So busy in fact, that he’s having to turn work down for the first time ever. Things are good. Their relationship is strong, Adam seems to have backed off for the time being and though Kurt has been out since, both with and without Blaine in tow, he has refrained from drinking as much- the three day hangover still serves as an unpleasant reminder. 

“What do you want to do?”

“I was kinda hoping we could go home?” Kurt asks tentatively. “Rachel is going to be there, and I think if we were home then Santana might come back too.”

“Sounds good,” Blaine agrees. “To be honest I think my mom’s a little disappointed that we’ve only been back twice since we moved, and they were only one night visits. Could we stay with my parents this time and yours at Christmas?”

“Of course. That makes more sense anyway if Cooper is coming for Christmas. I mean I love them, but those twins still don't understand the meaning of the word privacy, even at thirteen.” 

“It's strange, going back and knowing there’s someone else in my house,” Blaine muses. 

“Do you think you’ll sell it eventually?”

“Well yes, when we want to buy somewhere together I guess. But right now the income is proving useful. I think we’re doing quite well for ourselves, don't you?”

“You’re doing well, yes. I’m earning a hundred dollars a week.”

“And making me the happiest man alive by loving me,” Blaine says as he goes to him. “You’re studying for your future, Kurt. Don't belittle it, or your contribution to our relationship.”

“I know. And the money is useful.”

“To buy clothes,” Blaine smiles as his arms encircle Kurt. 

“I’m saving for something actually,” he says with a bop to his nose. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. So...anything worth watching tonight?”

“Way to change the subject,” Blaine laughs as Kurt falls onto the couch. “Always an enigma.”

“You know it.”

*

“Darlings!” Sara Anderson cries happily as she flings herself upon Kurt and Blaine. “Oh it's so good to see you!” She smooshes Blaine’s face as she kisses him fondly, followed by Kurt who laughs and hugs her tight. 

“It’s really good to be back,” Kurt admits as he allows himself to be led into the house. 

“There’s my boys!” Mike booms as he hugs them both. “Kurt, either you’re still growing or I’m shrinking,” he says as he looks him up and down. 

“Dad, he’s nineteen now. He’s not a boy,” Blaine moans affectionately. 

“I’m going with you shrinking,” Kurt teases as he leans on Mike’s shoulder. 

“Anyway my darlings, wash up, wash up. Dinner as soon as Burt and Carole arrive.”

“What? Dad’s coming?”

“Oh we always have dinner together once a week,” Sara says as if this were old news. “Either here or there. Sometimes we go out. Wesley, Finn and Noah join us sometimes, I worry that they’re not eating properly otherwise."

“Wes is thirty four,” Blaine mutters as he starts up the stairs after her. 

“So?”

“You never stop mothering, do you?” Blaine says as he kisses her cheek. 

“Never. I would apologize, only I’m not sorry. Dinner soon,” she smiles. The door closes and Kurt turns to Blaine, a grin on his face as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Your mom is...”

“Embarrassing.”

“Adorable. And your dad too.”

“I can't believe she’s feeding everyone all the time.”

“Well they must like it or they’d just say no,” Kurt points out. “Wesley is part of the family anyway.”

“You know, he doesn't even allow his own parents to call him that.”

“No, but sweet as she is, there’s just no arguing with your mom, darling,” he laughs. 

“Don't.” He accepts Kurt’s embrace eagerly, pulling him onto the bed as he kisses behind his ear. “When did she say dinner was?”

“Sss....Oh! Soon!” Kurt gasps as Blaine’s fingers trail along his waistband. “But we really...”

“We really should let Blaine suck Kurt off,” he teases as he moves his lips to Kurt’s stomach. “Seeing as someone was too late for blowjobs this morning.”

“Oh shit,” Kurt moans, but even as he speaks he’s lowering his pants in haste. “Sixty nine with me then.”

“Oh baby,” Blaine groans happily as he shucks out of his underwear. “It would be my pleasure.” 

The inevitable “Dinner time darlings!” is called up the stairs ten minutes later as Burt’s booming voice can be heard greeting Mike. 

“Ugh,” Kurt stops sucking Blaine’s cock for a moment and lifts his head. “Later.”

“No, not later,” Blaine pants. “So close.”

“Blaine! Kurt! I said dinner!”

“Coming right now!” Blaine yells, sounding somewhat desperate. He lands a sharp smack to Kurt’s butt as he dissolves into laughter above him, and hastily directs his mouth back to where it is needed. 

When he arrives in the dining room five minutes later, he is flushed and grinning as he happily notes that Finn and Rachel have joined them.

"Where's Kurt?" Carole asks as she looks past his shoulder.

"Brushing his teeth," comes Blaine's instant reply, and while he reddens slightly and Rachel sniggers, the rest seem oblivious. 

"Well hello there," a voice drawls and he turns to see Santana lounging in the doorway. 

"Santana!" He holds out his arms but she eyes him warily.

"Have you washed your hands?"

"Yes."

"In that case," her face breaks into a wide grin and she leaps into his arms where he squeezes her tight. "I have missed you so much," she says quietly against his neck.

"Me too, me too," Blaine says as he sets her on her feet again. "It is so good to see you." Kissing her cheek, he settles next to her at the table as Sara and Mike start carrying an array of dishes to the table.

"Are you crying?" Rachel asks Santana.

"No. Something in my eye."

"You are. You're crying."

"Am not." Santana snaps.

"Are too. You look like you did that time we watched Bambi."

"I wasn't crying then."

"Yes you were."

"I was not..."

"You were!"

"Kurt!" They both chorus happily as they fly out their seats and immediately begin to fuss over him. More greetings are made before Kurt finally draws his chair up on the other side of Blaine. 

"I'd say Chicago was a lucky escape," Kurt mutters to Blaine under his breath.

"Mmhmm." 

The meal is full of chatter between family and friends, all catching up on each others news, with Blaine particularly happy to hear how well Santana is doing at NYADA, and all parents fussing over how their various offspring are faring at living alone. 

"I'm thirty four mom, yes, I know how to do laundry. In case you didn't notice, I had been living alone for a number of years before living with Kurt."

"I know darling, but Kurt's clothes are nicer than yours. I just want to make sure you're not ruining them."

Kurt grins smugly at this and nudges Blaine playfully. "He's the perfect roommate," he says as he raises their joined hands and kisses his knuckles. "I couldn't ask for better."

"You never treat me like that, Berry," Santana grumbles.

"That's because firstly, you're far from the perfect housemate and secondly, Kurt and Blaine are lovers. We are not. Nor will we ever be, thank you very much, however much you may want to."

"Oh yeah, I've a real thing for reindeer sweaters and plaid knee high socks."

"Girls!" Burt interrupts. "For goodness sake. I'm glad I'm not your neighbor." 

"I thought you were friends?" Mike asks in confusion.

"We are," Rachel says, turning to him. "I love Santana very much, and she loves me." To everyone's surprise, Santana doesn't disagree, just smiles and carries on eating for a while before turning to Blaine. 

"So. You and lover boy are still going strong then?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just thought that now you were living together you might be able to keep your hands off one another for longer than five minutes under your parent's roof."

Finn drops his fork with a clatter. "Is that... Man! Is that why you were all smiley when you appeared?" he asks as Blaine stares at his plate. 

"That's certainly why Kurt was brushing his teeth before eating his dinner," Rachel offers, and then squeals at Kurt's well placed kick to her shin. 

"We're both adults," Blaine says, looking imploringly at Burt.

"Don't look at me son, I knew what you'd been up to the second I laid eyes on you. I'm just mature enough not to comment on it, unlike these goons," he says gesturing between them all. 

"Could we please talk about something other than Kurt and Blaine's sex life?" Sara asks with a smile. "They're young, they're in love. It's only natural that they want to...to...to..."

"Get it on?" Finn offers.

"Yes darling, thank you. Get it on as often as they can. I mean..."

"Mom! Jeez!" Blaine holds his head in his hands as Kurt tries to hide his laughter. 

"Sorry Blaine," she says brightly. "Who wants dessert? I made pie." 

*

"I am so fucking horny I could die," Blaine announces dramatically as they finally close their bedroom door later that night. 

"Careful," Kurt laughs. "Your mom and dad will hear." 

"I think I'm past caring," Blaine says as he undresses. "Everyone seems to know everything anyway. I swear those girls discuss our sex life more than their own."

"That's because Santana has none and Rachel doesn't fare much better," Kurt says as he watches Blaine lie on the bed and begin to stroke his cock. "Why so horny, anyway? We got off right before dinner. My father can remind you if you've forgotten."

"Kurt, please," he says, gesturing to himself and his growing hardness. "And I'm horny because looking at you all evening across a crowded room and not being able to just...take, or touch, drives me insane. Fuck...the way you hold yourself, your voice, the way your eyes shine when you laugh...it just...gets me going. You are crazy hot."

"Whereas you are just crazy," Kurt teases, sliding up the bed and swapping Blaine's hand for his own. "Tell me what you want."

"I want to come," Blaine says bluntly. 

"Who says romance is dead? And where and how do you want to come?" 

"In your...no," Blaine says, thinking out loud. "With you in my...oh, but I like it when... What did you let me choose for?" Blaine cries with a laugh. "I can't decide."

"Wanna come on my face baby?" Kurt says devilishly as his eyes darken. "You like that, don't you?"

"I do, but you told me never again after my birthday."

"Just keep it out of my eye this time."

"But I want you to fuck me too." 

"I can't say no to that."

"I know," Blaine grins broadly. "Kurt?" 

"Mmm?" he answers lazily as he continues to pump Blaine in his fist. 

"Would you rim me?"

"Oh." Sitting, he moves his hands to his lap as he fiddles nervously. "I've not...um..."

"I know, that's why I asked. You kind of did once...when we were using the vibrator, but it was only around the edge cause the toy was in the way and I just..."

"I might be really crap though."

"What? No. I refuse to believe that," Blaine says decisively. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes."

"That's hot."

"What? Why is that hot?" Kurt cries incredulously.

"Because it reminds me of when we first got together," Blaine grins as he sits up against the headboard. "But really, you don't need to be."

"You're asking me to rim you, for the first time, while your parents sleep two doors down the hall. I think I've every right." 

"You don't have to."

"No, no. You asked to be rimmed and rimmed you shall be. Turn over." 

"Who said romance is dead?" Blaine quips as he turns onto all fours. "Seriously Kurt, you don't have to do this." 

He pauses, half settled between Blaine's legs as he looks at him, eyes full of sincerity. "I know. Blaine, we've been together two and a half years, you are the sweetest, most caring person I know. If you suddenly started pressuring me into things I didn't want to do I'd be alarmed."

"Okay. You can rim me now."

Laughing, Kurt nips at Blaine's ass cheek playfully before running his tongue experimentally along the crack. Trust his beloved boyfriend to put him completely at ease, he thinks as he repeats the action. All his worries melt away as always when Blaine drops his head and growls deep in his throat. 

"Ohmygod," he rushes out, then huffs a short laugh when he feels Kurt smile against his entrance. "S'good," he explains.

"And I'm flattered," Kurt tells him as he licks again, but this time just over his hole. It had been different last time, Blaine was already slick with lube and truth be told, it wasn't as though Kurt had planned to put his face there, he just got carried away in the heat of the moment. But he knows how good it feels when Blaine does this to him, and he's nothing if not determined to make Blaine fall apart using only his tongue. He goes slow, circling his entrance and making him wet, pushing insistently at that tight ring of muscle until he feels it begin to unclench and he can gradually work his tongue inside. Blaine nearly falls apart several times and has to bite hard on his wrist to keep from screaming. 

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt," he chants almost hypnotically as he gasps for breath. "Shit Kurt, so good. So...fucking....good," he exhales hard on the last word, releasing a long moan when Kurt takes his aching dick in his hand and pumps quickly, once, twice before Blaine comes onto the sheets, groaning as his head and torso fall onto the bed and he stays, quivering as he hears Kurt hurriedly unbuckling his belt behind him. 

"Jesus Christ," he pants as he fumbles for his cock, gripping it tight and sighing with relief. Blaine looks over his shoulder, just in time to catch sight of Kurt's face as he jerks himself hard over Blaine's ass, decorating it in long, thick ropes as he digs the fingers of his other hand into the skin of Blaine's back, dragging them down and leaving long, red marks in their wake. "I'm so sorry," he whispers as he falls to Blaine's side. "I didn't mean to just...come all over you."

"What? Are you insane? That was the best bit. Jesus. I'm gonna be getting off to that for months. Fuck." 

"I was gonna fuck you. Hard."

"Tomorrow," Blaine says with a dismissive wave of his hand. Throwing a lazy arm over Kurt's middle, he kisses into his damp hair. "I love you, you know. So much."

Kurt turns in his embrace, onto his side where he can reach out to cup Blaine's cheek sweetly, the stubble feeling scratchy under his touch. "I love you too. God, how I love you." He nuzzles against Blaine's jaw, kissing his cheek softly. "It just keeps getting better, doesn't it? Not the sex...although that does, for sure. But us, I mean."

"It does, Kurt. It really, totally does." 

*

"Good morning darling," Sara Anderson says brightly as Blaine heads for the fridge. He stops and kisses her cheek before carrying on, rummaging around while he whistles happily. 

"Morning," he eventually returns. 

"Somebody had fun last night," she laughs as she notes the way in which he does a little dance as he pours coffee for himself and Kurt. 

"Mom," he whines. "Must we?"

"I'm just saying, that's all. I had forgotten the noise that always accompanies yours and Kurt's visits. I'm just teasing, darling," she laughs as he tries to duck away from the hair ruffle. "I like that Kurt makes you so happy." 

"Kurt is without doubt, the best, most amazing boyfriend in the world," he says decisively. "I refuse to hear otherwise."

"You might want to set about making that boyfriend a fiancé sometime soon then," she sing songs as she flips eggs in a pan. 

"I will, one day. But he's just turned nineteen. I don't think he'd thank me for an engagement ring right now." 

"No, I guess not," she agrees with a small sigh. "I forget sometimes, how young he actually is. I mean to me, he's just...Kurt. Our Kurt." 

"My Kurt," he corrects as he snags a piece of bacon off the tray. 

"No darling," she smiles with a tap to his hand. "Very much ours." 

"Very much his own person," Mike says as he walks into the kitchen and rolls his eyes fondly at them both. "Poor guy. If he could hear you two..."

"I can hear them," Kurt announces. 

Blaine raises one eyebrow at the sight of Kurt still in his pajamas and with his hair still tousled- a sure sign of how comfortable he now feels around the Anderson's, as is the way in which he immediately wraps his arms around Blaine's waist and kisses his lips. 

"Good morning handsome," he grins. 

"Good morning Kurt," Mike replies from behind him, making him laugh and duck his head onto Blaine's shoulder. 

"Yeah, I guess I walked into that one." 

"You did darling," Sara chuckles. "Mike likes to think he's funny. Just indulge him. Breakfast is ready." 

They lounge around, watching tv and chatting until Sara moves to the kitchen, followed by Kurt- which she was expecting- and also Blaine, which she was not. 

"You normally watch the game with your dad," she comments as Kurt sets to work on the pile of potatoes. 

"I know, but I want to be wherever Kurt is," he says as he nuzzles against his neck from behind. 

"Kurt will be in the emergency room if you don't leave him alone," Sara says as she drags him away. "If you want to help then fine. These carrots won't peel themselves." 

Side by side, Blaine and Kurt share cute, flirtatious glances at one another as they work, nudging each other playfully as Blaine shoves a piece of carrot into Kurt's mouth. "Love you," he whispers into his ear before kissing his jaw as he munches. 

"Love you too," Kurt beams back as he swallows. "You're my favorite boyfriend." 

"I'm your only boyfriend. Ever," Blaine says with a nod, and more than a hint of pride at being Kurt's one and only. 

"And that's why you're my favorite." 

"Kurt, can you open the door for Carole please?" Sara asks, "she's laden down with dishes."

"I didn't hear the bell," Blaine says in confusion. 

Holding one finger up, Sara smiles as the doorbell rings loudly. "There."

Kurt shakes his head, laughing in disbelief as he goes into the hall and Blaine returns to the vegetables.

"You know darling, I don't think he'd mind one bit," Sara whispers conspiratorially as she leans against the counter. 

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Kurt. I don't think he'd mind a proposal at all. In fact, I think he'd be quite delighted." 

They are interrupted then by the loud presence of Burt and Carole, followed by Wes and Santana, but that doesn't stop Blaine from entering into his own thoughtful reverie from which he only stirs when Burt booms in his face, wanting to know why he's not watching the game. 

"Huh? Oh...um...Kurt," he manages to stutter out. 

"Kurt!" Blaine calls across the kitchen. "Why won't you let Blaine watch the game?"

"He can watch the game," Kurt replies calmly. "Blaine, do you want to?"

"No, I want to watch you," he grins. 

"Honestly." Santana rolls her eyes. "Burt, I think I'll watch the game. Better than watching this display," she huffs with fond affection.

"Why are you staring at me?" Kurt whispers as they sit down to dinner. 

"Huh? I'm not. Am I?" Blaine asks.

"You really are," Carole says quietly from his other side."but that's okay. He is kinda cute."

"Can we go with devastatingly handsome?" Kurt huffs indignantly. 

"We sure can." Finding Kurt's hand under the table, Blaine squeezes, running his thumb over his palm. "Am I creepy?"

"No," Kurt reassures. "You just seem to keep looking at me in a very thoughtful manner, that's all. You okay?"

"I'm more than okay," Blaine beams. 

He manages to tear his eyes away from Kurt to eat- mainly because he knows that watching Kurt eat, his mannerisms and inflections, the way his mouth moves or his throat works as he swallows, makes him have the most almighty sexual stirrings and he's not sure he would be able to keep himself under control. So he keeps his eyes trained on the plate until long after dessert, when they're all stuffed full and lounging back in their chairs with coffee. 

"Come on then," Mike smiles. "Who's thankful for what? Lets go around the table. I'm thankful for the game result, and the weather forecast which tells me this weekend is going to be good for fishing. Sara?"

"Lovely, darling. I'm thankful for our extended family. Wesley, Santana, I'm so happy you could join us this year."

"Thank you," Santana says sincerely. "I'm thankful for you," she smiles. "I was gonna say Blaine, but you know what? You cooked the most amazing Thanksgiving dinner, and all the good traits Blaine has? He got them from you. So yeah...I'm thankful for you being such an awesome person. Wes?"

"Creep," he mutters as Sara hugs Santana warmly. "I'm thankful Kurt and Blaine made it back for the holiday. I've missed you guys. Papa Burt?"

Side eyeing Wes, Burt clears his throat. "Well... This is the third Thanksgiving we have spent together," he says to the Anderson's. "And it always makes me think how thankful I am that Kurt and Blaine met, because they brought two families together." 

"And I'm thankful that Finn and Rachel went to the Berry's this year," Carole jokes. "More food for everyone else. No really, I'm thankful that all our beloved offspring seem so happy. It's nice to have no drama for a change. Your turn Blaine." 

"I'm thankful for family," Blaine starts, "and I include Santana and Wes in that too of course. But uh..." Pausing, he rubs the back of his neck in an endearing, nervous mannerism which Kurt hasn't seen present for some time. "This year, what I'm most thankful for above anything, is Kurt." He turns in his chair to take Kurt's hands in his and look into his eyes. 

"Thank you for loving me so completely. A few months back I nearly lost all this and I'm so glad we managed to work through everything. You will never know how happy it makes me to come home to you. How my heart races each time I climb the stairs and unlock our front door. A small thrill goes through me every time, knowing you're there waiting for me, or that I'm going inside to wait for you to come bursting through the door, slightly breathless and with that beautiful smile playing on your face. You can be doing something really mundane- watching tv or studying and yet your grace and beauty takes my breath away every time. Thank you for sharing your life with me Kurt, for holding me close at night, for knowing how to comfort and reassure me when I need it, for knowing how to support me and how to make me smile. Thank you for being you. I love you." 

An expectant hush has fallen over the room but Kurt is oblivious as he stares at Blaine, his eyes shimmering with tears. Santana and Wes look to each other, then back to the couple before Wes speaks. 

"Have you finished?"

"Yeah," Blaine breathes, eyes still focused on Kurt. 

"Damnit," he says, slipping Santana a twenty across the table. "Totally thought he was gonna propose," he says to Mike by way of explanation.

Blaine laughs quietly, looking down into his lap with a shy smile before he looks back to Kurt who leans forward and kisses him tenderly, their hands still joined. "I'm so thankful for you," he says, voice barely above a whisper and oblivious to the way in which the rest of the family strain to hear. 

"Blaine, I'm thankful for the way you care for me. You look after me so well," he smiles softly as his hand reaches out and he trails his fingers over Blaine's jaw line. "You make me feel so wanted, so loved and cherished. The way you make sure to slip a muffin in my bag if you know I haven't had time to eat. The little love notes I find slipped inside my text books, so when I sit down to history of Jacobean theatre, feeling despondent and desperate to be home, your handwriting is there, cheering me up and reminding me that you think the world of me. I love that when I trudge wearily through the door on a Thursday, you always have a hot bath waiting for me because you know I've had double dance and that I'm aching all over. You always remember to wake me extra early on a Monday because I have vocal class before school- even if you don't need to be up for anything yourself. I love- ahem- I love the way you wake me up," he blushes deeply before pressing their foreheads together. "I love that for the rest of my life, these lips are mine to kiss. I love you so much, old man."

"You too, gorgeous boy."

Their kiss is chaste, yet full of promise and love as their lips meet and they pull away almost as quickly, breathless with exhilaration and eyes blown wide. 

"Is that it?" Santana asks. 

"I'm done," Kurt says, ducking his head onto Blaine's shoulder who automatically kisses into his hair. 

"Damn." She slides the twenty back to Wes who pockets it and grins smugly. "Thought Hummel was going to do it," she says to Sara.

"I think Kurt and I are going to take a walk," Blaine announces suddenly, standing and offering Kurt his hand. 

"We are?"

"We are." 

Once outside, wrapped in their coats and scarves and trudging along the chilly streets, Blaine finally brings himself to speak, breath puffing out in little clouds. "I'm sorry for letting you down."

"What?" Kurt stops and turns Blaine to face him, eyes searching. "What are you talking about? You haven't let me down. You've made me cry with your heartfelt expression of love. Blaine...what you said at the table was beautiful."

"But I didn't propose."

"Were you planning on it?"

"Um....no," Blaine says as he stares at his feet. 

"Then who have you let down? Not me, that's for sure. Blaine.... I wasn't expecting you to propose. Who cares what Santana and Wes thought? We know what our future holds, and that's more than enough for me." 

"Sure?"

"Positive," Kurt says firmly. "Please don't think you let me down. You did quite the opposite." 

"You like the little notes?" Blaine asks with a small smile. 

"I love the notes," Kurt corrects. 

"I thought they might be annoying."

"They're beautiful. Just like you." 

They stand there, on the corner of Lakeland drive and Spring Road, oblivious to it all as they kiss one another as if their lives depended on it, Blaine holding Kurt's face in his hands as Kurt fists his hands tight into Blaine's jacket.... And Blaine reaches a decision.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt? Where are you?

Out.

Out where? It's not even eight.

Fishing with your dad.

......... Excuse me?

I know. 

You're joking, right? This has to be a joke.

No joke. He asked if I wanted to join him and I said yes. Why don't you spend the day with Wes or something?

The day? You're going to be fishing ALL DAY? 

Apparently so. Or rather, he's going to be fishing and I will be trying to complete level 127 of Candy Crush.

Will you be back for dinner?

I think the idea is that we bring dinner back with us. You may be going hungry tonight. 

Hey Kurt, do you remember how we used to text?

Okay. I'm going.

No, don't go. Come on Kurt.

No. No, no, no and no again. Your dad is right next to me.

I'm hard.

Hard work.

Please.

NO. Go...watch porn or something. 

Nah, don't need to. I still have images from the other night. 

Good. Use them. I'll see you later ;) 

Blaine falls back on the bed with a laugh before firing off a quick text to Wes then heading to the shower. 

"No Kurt?" Wes asks as Blaine gets in the car an hour later.

"No. He's uh...he's gone fishing with my dad."

"He's what?"

"I know." 

"That's the weirdest thing I've heard since that time you got drunk and tried to order a shark sandwich in KFC."

"I'd forgotten about that," Blaine laughs. "That was years ago."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I need you to help me pick out a suit."

"Oh no. Blaine, please. You should just let Kurt buy all your clothes. He's so much better at it than you or I."

"I know that, but he can't pick this because it's a surprise and I don't want Kurt to know I'm getting it."

"Oh," he says as he starts the engine. "Oh!" The realization dawns on him as he stares at Blaine with wide eyes. "You're gonna propose!"

Blaine pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. "Just drive me to the mall, Wesley."

"Don't call me Wesley."

"Will you be my best man?" he blurts.

"Blaine, I...I...yeah. Of course I will. Thank you."

"Are you crying?"

"Little bit, yeah," he says, putting the car in park before they've even got to the end of the drive. "Crap. You always make me cry. I'm sure we shouldn't be friends." It doesn't stop him reaching across and pulling Blaine into a tight hug though, which Blaine returns readily. 

"Thanks Wes. For everything."

"No worries. Aw man! I can't believe you're gonna propose," his voice is almost a squeal of excitement as they finally drive away. 

"I'm planning to propose, I should say. I've still got to ask Burt's permission." 

"Really? You're going to do that?"

"Yeah. I think...well I think it will mean a lot to Kurt if I do."

"It will, for sure. I just hope he agrees." 

*

Two weeks later.

"Okay. I know I said I missed our Friday afternoons, but this is ridiculous," Burt smiles as he envelops Blaine in a strong hug. "Good to see you buddy. Kurt with you?"

"No, he has classes. I'm just here because...um... Well, I wanted to see you about something."

"Oh? You drove all the way from Chicago just to ask me something? You couldn't call?" Burt asks as they sit down on their usual two stools, though he's guessed already what Blaine is trying to say. 

"No," Blaine says as he puffs out a nervous breath. "I uh...it needed to be face to face." Drawing a deep breath once more, he turns to look Burt square in the eye. "I would like to ask Kurt to marry me, if that was okay with you."

"It's more that okay," Burt smiles warmly. "You didn't need to ask me, you know."

"I know. But I felt that I should. It's only right. I think... I think if it were the other way around I'd like it if he asked my dad- especially if I was only nineteen."

"I guess he's young in a way...but it's you two. You're never conventional about anything. When you gonna ask him?"

"New Years Eve," Blaine says decisively. "I was gonna wait until summer, or even his twentieth birthday... But I've had the ring burning a hole in my back pocket for four months now."

"That long?" 

"Yeah...I dragged Wes along to help me choose it right before we moved. I've always known."

"Funny, that. I have too," Burt teases. "So do you have a date in mind?"

"Well he has to say yes first," Blaine laughs, and Burt picks up on the nerves in his voice right away. 

"He's hardly gonna refuse," Burt says with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Relax."

"I just want...need...for it to be perfect. Kurt deserves perfection."

"Is this where you make some quip about 'that's why he's with me?'" 

"Haha, no. I wish." 

"You okay, kid?" Burt asks, suddenly taking a closer look at him. 

"Am I too old?" he suddenly blurts, looking up with a blush staining his cheeks. 

"You're asking me, at fifty one, if you, at thirty four, are too old? Too old for what, exactly?"

"Is this fair? To propose to Kurt? To tie myself to him for life? In my head we would marry after he graduates, but I'm gonna be nearly forty."

"Or thirty seven," Burt counters. "Depending on how you look at it. And can I be honest here? I think you'd be damn unfair not to propose to him. You know it's all he wants. Kurt loves you, and only you. He doesn't give a damn how old you are, how young he is, or whether it rains or shines as long as you two are together. Don't let some unfounded fear get the better of you, Blaine."

"He uh...he wants a baby someday," Blaine almost whispers. "I do too, but I just keep thinking what if that's where it all goes wrong? What if I'm too old, too impatient to become a first time dad in my forties? Cause that's what I'm gonna be, by the time we've settled down properly and Kurt feels ready." 

"Blaine, has someone said something to you?"

"No," he says, "well...not recently. I used to fear that he would leave me for someone his own age," he sighs as he hands Burt his coffee. "I don't worry about that now. I know he won't leave me. That's like...a completely unfounded fear."

"That's good."

"Yes. But there's this guy on his course.... Adam," he spits the name out and Burt nods in immediate understanding. "He wants Kurt," Blaine explains. "I know Kurt's not interested...like I said, that's not an issue. But this guy keeps playing on all my insecurities, and the last time we met he just kept on about our age gap, about how Kurt's gonna be in his prime while I'm old and gray.... And then he said about the baby thing. And that really hit a nerve I guess. Because...honestly...I'd be ready for kids now. And I keep wondering if...whether...by the time Kurt is...whether that window will have passed for me, and I'll be thinking that actually, a kid would be a darn nuisance." 

Burt sighs, walks to the shop door and flips the closed sign before coming back and settling opposite Blaine once more. "Okay. Answer me this. If- when you and Kurt first spoke of this- if he had declared that he never wanted kids, couldn't stand them and had no intentions of becoming a father, would you still want to be with him?"

"Of course!" Blaine answers without hesitation. "That doesn't define who Kurt is. It doesn't alter his personality, the Kurt I fell in love with."

"And now? If he was to tell you he'd had a rethink and he didn't want them?"

"I'd still want him," Blaine emphasises. "I want Kurt."

"And do you think Kurt wants you, or wants kids?"

"He wants me," Blaine says with a dopey grin.

"Correct. You guys.... It's not going to be easy. I remember your dad telling us, years ago, that sometimes the gap between yourself and Cooper felt like nothing at all and at other times it was huge. That will be the same for you two, Blaine, and you can't hide from that. You need to deal with it. Right now it's all perfect, cause you're both singing off the same hymn sheet. But think back to when you were very first dating. You know there were tough times. God knows, when he went through all that deal with Karofsky he acted like a complete teenager for a long while...which was exactly what he was of course, but it nearly drove you two to breaking point. You need to discuss this with him," Burt urges, even as Blaine shakes his head emphatically. "You do. You need to find a compromise."

"I'll just wait until he's ready."

"No, you won't wait, Blaine. The very thing that nearly finished you two for good a few months back was your complete inability to confront your fears together. I get that you like to make Kurt happy, I do. But this is important to you Blaine, and you can't just marry the guy and then sit tight, hoping that he'll want kids sooner rather than later." 

He watches as Blaine fiddles with his car keys, taking it all in and processing his thoughts before he speaks again. "Son, I'm withdrawing my permission for the time being..."

"What?" Blaine cries as he lifts his head.

"Hear me out... Just momentarily, while I say something. And it's important, okay? Don't take offense. I'm saying this as much for your sake as Kurt's."

"O-Kay," Blaine agrees warily. 

"Think very carefully about this, Blaine. Make sure your reasons for proposing are the right ones. Don't go rushing into it just to try and silence others, or secure your relationship. You and Kurt are better than that. You're secure enough already. No one will come between you." 

"Is that what you think?"

"It's not, actually. But I'd like to hear your reasons for wanting to be engaged- cause there's no denying it's gonna be a long engagement." 

"Kurt's seventeenth birthday," he begins- looking anywhere except at Burt. "I uh...I gave him that bracelet. One of the charms has a diamond set in it and I told him it was....uh....because I hoped to put a diamond on his finger one day." Pausing, he clears his throat and lets out a shaky breath. Burt smiles as he realizes how hard it is for Blaine to talk about these intimate moments of their relationship, reassured by how much they obviously mean. 

"I've always known. I've always dreamed about asking him to marry me, and there have been many times in the last two years where I've been so consumed by my love for him that it's all I can do to keep from falling to one knee there and then. But I've always held back. I didn't want to scare him for a start, and I needed for him to be out of high school because it just felt wrong otherwise. But as soon as everything was settled in Chicago I just knew it wouldn't be far off- which is why I dragged Wes out ring shopping right before we moved.   
Something switched at Thanksgiving. I can't put my finger on what, exactly, but it was like our relationship just moved up a level. Kurt said to me that it just keeps getting better, and he's absolutely right. I'm fine with a three year engagement, because I look on that ring as confirmation of the promise we made to one another, that our future belongs to each other. Besides which, Kurt will need that time to plan his outfit," he smiles, embarrassed by his outpouring and he falls gratefully into the hug Burt offers. 

"Permission reinstated," he says gruffly into Blaine's shoulder. "Not that my permission should have anything to do with it."

"It has everything to do with it, for me," Blaine tells him earnestly. "I love you, and Kurt loves you. I need to know that I have your blessing to make him my husband."

"Well you do. You absolutely do," Burt says with a broad grin. "And Blaine? Don't listen to what anyone on the outside says to you. You're good for him, perfect in fact. And your friends and family all know and understand this. But ultimately, it's only you and Kurt who matter in all of this." 

"Thank you," Blaine nods. 

"And you know.... If this jerk persists, just punch him." 

"I might have to, if I catch him near Kurt again," Blaine grumbles. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Burt chuckles, standing and tossing their cups in the trash. "Just the thought of you ever actually punching anyone, that's all. Come on. Grab your coverall, you can help me with this Chevy."

*

Blaine sighs and reaches for his phone, drumming the fingers of his other hand against the steering wheel in agitation. 

You're not home. Boo. :( 

No, he types, pausing to crawl forward another foot, the line of traffic in front of him still solid. 

The traffic is a nightmare. Go ahead with dinner, I'll grab something when I eventually return.

I wanted us to go out tonight. 

You can still go.

Is that okay?

Sure. I'm pretty tired anyway.

Too tired for slightly tipsy, horny Kurt when I get home?

Ha! Never. If I'm asleep just wake me up, okay?

How was work?

Good.

That's all? Usually you ramble on....I mean...tell me really interesting stuff ;) 

Yeah, it was good. Okay. Traffic moving. I'll text you later. Love you xxx

An hour later and Blaine has moved less than ten miles, and is regretting ending their text conversation so abruptly, but he can't handle lying to Kurt even if it is for good reason. He fiddles with his iPod, singing along to a few random tracks and thinking he needs to find another acoustic night to perform at, when his phone lights up again. 

Is this outfit okay? Attachment: 1 image. 

Fuck, Blaine's fingers fly over the keys as he grins to himself. You know what eyeliner does to me. And those jeans.... Kurt, your ass should be illegal. Shit. 

So it's okay?

It's better than okay, but now I'm getting hard. And I'm still in heavy traffic.

I thought you said it was moving? I figured you must have stopped for food. You are stationary, aren't you?

Yes thank you. God Kurt. Why did you send that to me? 

Because I want you randy as hell and ready and waiting for me when I return, okay?

I can safely say that will not be a problem.

I think I'm gonna suck you.

Kurt, why must you do this to me? Just...go annoy Joe or something. He's oblivious to your sexual charms.

Whereas you?

Whereas I am very much aware and now very desperate. Fuck. I'm now palming myself and the woman in the next car is looking at me strangely.

Haha! Okay, I'm going to annoy Joe :P Loves ya! xxx

Eventually Blaine makes good progress, and although the holdup has added two hours onto his journey he's in good spirits and looking forward to Kurt's return later that night. He pulls over into a burger joint just outside Chicago, figuring it will be easier than cooking when he gets home. Hs halfway through his meal when the picture arrives and he almost drops his phone onto his plate. Kurt is staring straight into the camera, eyes emphasised with eyeliner and hair artfully styled. His cheeks are pink with exhilaration and his lips curve enticingly around the straw he is sucking on. But Kurt himself is not what causes Blaine's shock- hot as the picture may be. It is the undeniable presence of Adam directly behind him, looking to the side but still with one hand resting on Kurt's shoulder that does it. Grabbing his phone, he slams a handful of bills on the table and texts Joe as he storms to his car. 

What bar are you in? 

Hey! The Bedford. Why? You joining us?

Yes. But DO NOT tell Kurt. 

He arrives an hour later, still boiling with anger as he scans the bar for Kurt and his friends. He spots them sitting around on high stools, Kurt laughing and joking with Joe and others, shrugging Adam off as he leans in to say something. This does it for Blaine, and wasting no more time he storms over to them, pushing a random girl out the way, and lands a solid right hook to Adam's jaw. 

"Get the fuck away from him," he roars as Adam falls to the floor. "My boyfriend, not yours. How many times do you need to be told?" He straightens his clothes and turns to look at Kurt- and the fear and trepidation in his eyes is met with.... Pride? Happiness? Kurt beams at him as he takes his hand. 

"Joe, I'm taking my boyfriend home," he says quietly as he leads Blaine from the bar. 

"Sure thing!" Joe calls after them. "I'll call you tomorrow. Late tomorrow." 

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine says as soon as they're out on the street. "I know I shouldn't have done that but I umpf....."

He is cut off abruptly as Kurt pushes him up against the nearest wall and kisses him hungrily. "That was awesome," he gets out before joining their lips once more, ignoring the catcalls of passers by in favor of thrusting against Blaine and growling with desire. 

"He makes me so fucking angry," Blaine seethes, almost oblivious to Kurt's want as he subconsciously allows him access to his neck. "Fuck. I want to go back and punch him again."

"No, no," Kurt says as he drags him away. "Let's go home. Did you drive?"

"No, I ran," Blaine says as he allows himself to be dragged down the street. "Seriously," he says, waking up to Kurt at last, "you liked it?"

"Yeah," he laughs, "What's not to like? My boyfriend punched a huge kick ass jerk to the ground because he was coming on to me. That's...that's all kinds of hot."

"So are you," Blaine tells him, stopping to slide his hands around Kurt's waist. "I'll never stop fighting for you. And I won't tolerate anyone coming on to you when they know you're taken." Nipping at Kurt's neck, he laughs darkly at the way Kurt whines for more. "Taken by me," he whispers hotly into his ear. 

"Yes," Kurt cries softly, arching his body toward Blaine, snaking his arms around his neck. 

"Minx," Blaine grins before kissing him deeply, fisting his hair and dragging him unfathomably closer as their tongues meet. "You're getting me hard." 

"What you gonna do about it then?" Kurt asks cockily, breaking away and sauntering down the street, ass swinging in just the way he knows Blaine likes. He hears a laugh of disbelief, followed by hurried footsteps before Blaine's arms are around him from behind. 

"You're gonna suck me off," he whispers into his ear, making Kurt shiver. 

"Let's get home then," he replies, voice cracking with desire at this dominant side of Blaine. 

"Not home. Here." He drags Kurt from the main street, down a narrow alley where he stops halfway down. 

"Are you kidding?" Kurt asks incredulously. "Anyone could walk past and see. People use this alley to cut through..."

"I really don't care," Blaine says roughly as he unbuckles his pants. "You said you'd suck me off, and that's what you're going to do. Sounds like someone could do to remember who he belongs to."

"Fuck." Kurt leans back against the wall, allowing Blaine to palm him through his jeans before firm pressure on his shoulder reminds him to sink to his knees. "I'm yours," he says simply, eyes twinkling in the shadows as his tongue snakes out to lick its way around the head of Blaine's cock. "Always yours." 

"Yes," Blaine sighs contentedly as he allows Kurt to work his magic. "Mine. Shit, you know how to use that mouth, Kurt." 

There is no answer, only a contented hum as Kurt sinks down around him, teasing and drawing the most mind blowing patterns with his tongue as he sucks Blaine's dick.

"Only mine," Blaine growls as he tangles his fingers into Kurt's hair. "Look at me," he commands. When Kurt looks up it is with an impish grin, lips resting right near the head and his eyes gleaming in the dim light. "You know what I want to do, don't you?" 

"Go for it," Kurt says as he opens his mouth and grips the back of Blaine's legs. 

Blaine wastes no time, snapping his hips back and forth as he fucks hard into Kurt's mouth who just takes. Kurt can feel tears pooling in his eyes as he tries to keep from gagging, and he knows there is spit dribbling down his chin onto his shirt, but he can't bring himself to care. Blaine is so...strong. So manly and willful, on fire with lust and jealousy as he pounds Kurt's face....and then suddenly freezes. Shivering in the cold night air, the icy ground seeping into the knees of his jeans, Kurt keeps his mouth around Blaine and looks up, expectantly. 

"Shh," Blaine says softly with a finger to his lips, and it's then that Kurt hears footsteps. He makes to move, but a strong hand in his hair commands him to stay still and he watches as Blaine looks over his left shoulder. "Evening ladies," he says, in what Kurt always refers to as his smooth talking ladies voice. 

"Hi," one of them smiles, then as they spot the outline of Kurt, lurking on his knees in the shadows they dissolve into giggles and run the rest of the alley. 

"Holy shit Blaine! They..."

"Suck me," he orders again, and Kurt senses that now is not the time to argue. Kurt doesn't know if it's the cold, the thrill of getting caught or the way he's wound so tightly, but pretty soon Blaine is bracing one hand against the wall behind Kurt's head as he comes, hot and wet into Kurt's mouth, who struggles not to choke but manages to swallow every drop before being hauled roughly to his feet and kissed passionately. His back is pressed into the hard, uncomfortable wall behind them but he pays it no heed as Blaine's tongue explores his mouth, tasting himself and groaning as he does so. When his hand finds the front of Kurt's jeans, he bucks wildly under the touch and breaks their kiss to cry out. 

"Oh shit! Blaine! Please, please. Touch me. Oh fuck...I need you to touch me." He is desperate, whiny with need as Blaine palms him roughly again and quiets his mouth by kissing him again before breaking away to hold one hand under his jaw as he bites into the soft flesh of Kurt's neck. 

"You like me touching you?"

"Yes! Yes!" Kurt cries as he fumbles to try and unfasten his jeans. 

"You want me?"

"I always want you. Only you, Blaine. Only....fuck!" He comes with a shout of relief tinged with frustration, but then grins as he realizes his boyfriend of over two years can still make him come in his pants. "Holy shit," he groans as he allows his head to fall limply onto Blaine's shoulder.

"I'm really sorry," Blaine says as he pulls Kurt in for a tight hug. "I didn't mean to be rough I just...I was angry. Not with you," he adds hastily. 

"You weren't rough, you fool," Kurt says as he lifts his head to kiss at his cheek. "I know Adam is a jerk, and I'm sorry all of that had to happen, but I love me some jealous Blaine." 

Blaine huffs an embarrassed laugh as he offers Kurt his arm. "Let's go home. We can make hot chocolate with marshmallows and talk about this evenings events."

"Um... The way I see it, you were like a totally hot superhero, punched the bad guy, swept me off my feet and then we had awesome hot sex down some back alley and got rudely interrupted halfway through. There. Discussion over. Now, let's go home for round two...I might last long enough for you to touch me this time." 

"Kurt.... Just so you know.... I love you more than ever." 

They walk along the road, arm in arm as Blaine rests his head contentedly on Kurt's shoulder and he kisses into the older man’s hair. 

"I love you too Blaine. And just so you know....I'm yours forever."


	7. Chapter 7

"I need to talk with you," Blaine announces a few days later as he arrives home from work. 

"Um... That sounds ominous," Kurt replies, startled by his abruptness as he sits, turns the tv off and twists around on the couch to face him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No, of course not!" He moves over to the couch, still wrapped up in his hat, scarf and coat but with his gloves and boots removed, and kisses Kurt tenderly, cupping his cheek sweetly. "Hmm," he smiles happily. "Nothing like coming home to perfection waiting for you on the couch."

"Oh please," Kurt scoffs, "perfection doesn't wear an old, ratty t-shirt and his boyfriends too-short sweat pants. Perfection probably also styles his hair."

"Perfection is you, and I love you whatever you choose to lounge around in," Blaine teases. "And trust me, this isn't a bad talk at all. At least, I don't think it is,” he says, scrunching up his nose. 

“Okay, now you’re just being confusing,” Kurt calls after his retreating back. 

He returns a few moments later, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and pulling Kurt’s feet into his lap, running one hand idly over Kurt’s ankle as he talks. “I want to ask you something,” he starts. 

“No, Blaine! You cannot propose to me like this!” he cries in horror. “I haven’t moved from the couch all day, and I have yogurt down my t-shirt.”

“Who said anything about proposing?” Blaine grins, then laughs at the way Kurt blushes. 

“Oh. Sorry. It’s just the way you said that...”

“Well I’m not asking you to marry me,” he tells him, somewhat alarmed at the way Kurt brushes so close to the truth. “But it is about the future. Our future.”

“Oh?”

“I just want to know...I was wondering....” Pausing, he looks at Kurt, eyes wide as he waits, expectantly. “No. You know what? It doesn't matter,” he says decisively. 

“Blaine....” Kurt’s warning tone and accompanying glare make Blaine look away, but he remains resolute. 

“No, really. It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something,” Kurt reasons. “The way you came bursting through the door and announced we must talk tells me you’ve been sitting on something all day. So what changed your mind?”

Blaine’s head falls back against the couch as he closes his eyes for the briefest of moments. cracking one eye open, he looks at Kurt, worry creasing his brow as he chews on his lip. “You’re so....young,” he sighs. 

“Yeah, and you’re so old,” Kurt jokes, poking out his tongue. “Now talk.”

“It was nothing,” Blaine says eventually with a tight smile. “Just me being a dumbass. Too much time in the studio to sit and think.”

"It's something. Don't do this Blaine. We promised each other we would talk about things."

“Just drop it.”

“No, I won’t just drop it,” Kurt says, voice beginning to rise in temper. “And I’m starting to get pissed off here. Talk!”

“Do you want a baby with me?” he blurts, causing Kurt to recoil in surprise. 

“Oh. Wow. Was not expecting that. Um...Okay. Um...Yes. But not right now.”

“I didn’t mean right now,” Blaine clarifies. “I just...wanted to know....sort of...um...”

“You’re really bad at this.”

“Be quiet,” Blaine laughs. “Okay. When? When would you see that happening?”

“I don't know, to be honest,” Kurt muses. “I haven’t really thought about it. I guess...In my head I maybe figured I’d be mid thirties? I don’t know.”

“Oh,” Blaine says simply, crestfallen. “I see.”

“But that wouldn’t be fair to you,” he continues. “Given that you would be fifty. I don’t think my dad would be wanting to raise a baby right now. So...I don’t know...um...late twenties? How does that sit with you?”

“I could maybe go with that,” Blaine agrees. “But...this might sound crazy, but I need to know how badly you want kids. Because...I do, right now. But we’re talking ten years away, and I don’t know if I will still want them by then.”

“This is really worrying you, isn't it?” Kurt asks. He shifts himself into Blaine’s lap, his favorite place for deep discussions as he can play with his hair as they speak. 

“It is, actually. Yeah. I’m...I guess I’m really feeling our age difference right now.” Staring at the way Kurt’s legs fall over his he doesn't look up as he says softly, “I’m struggling a bit.”

“With us?”

“No!” he looks up sharply, eyes watery. “I want to be with you more than anything. I just don’t know if I’m being fair to you. I don’t know if I can give you everything you want or deserve in the future.”

“Why are you always so hard on yourself?” Kurt asks gently. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. I wouldn’t be even discussing a future with you if I didn’t want it as much as you do. As for the baby thing... I’ve always figured I would have a kid- at least one. But you know? If that doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. It’s not the be all and end all for me- that’s you. And you know what, you say to me you don’t know if you’ll want a baby in ten years, but how do you know I will? What if I end up dedicated to my career or something? Are you gonna drop me?”

“No! Kurt, I’d never do that.”

“Exactly. So what makes you think I would? What if we both decide we enjoy being Kurt and Blaine too much to disrupt our lives by sharing them with a small person? Don’t worry about the future, Blaine. Just know that we do have one...together. We could worry about all sorts of things, where we’re going to live, our pension plans...anything and everything. But I’d rather we focus on the present, because right now? You and me? It’s all kinds of wonderful.” 

He tilts his head and brings his lips gently to Blaine’s, who then rests his head against Kurt’s chest. “Thank you,” he whispers. “Can I cry a little bit?”

“Sure thing, babe,” Kurt reassures as he rubs his back. 

“Well now you’ve ruined it by calling me babe and making me laugh,” he chuckles. 

“Sorry. Blaine? Can I ask you something? The age thing... When I call you old man, or tease you about it...does it bother you? Because I can stop.”

“No,” Blaine says honestly, looking up with a soft smile. “I love it when you call me old man, and I like our teasing. I’ve told you before, one of the best things for me, about us, is the way we laugh so much. Please don’t ever stop that. I know I got pissed off that one time...in the club with Adam...”

“Who is transferring back to England at the end of this semester, by the way,” Kurt tells him happily. 

“Good. I’ll pay his airfare myself if it means he’s gone for good,” Blaine grumbles. “Anyway...back to the question, no, it doesn't bother me.” 

“Okay,” Kurt smiles and kisses him again. “Cuddle?”

“Mmmm,” Blaine sighs happily as he buries himself into Kurt’s neck. “You stink.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I’m totally gross.”

“Did you even shower this morning?”

“No.” Kurt tries to hide his face in embarrassment, but Blaine pulls his hands away with a grin. 

“Does that mean I need to bath you?”

“Yes,” Kurt says decisively, jumping up from his lap and offering his hand. “I think that sounds like a very good idea indeed.”

*

Blaine: Are we all here?

Wes: I think so.

Joe: I don't know. I don't know any of these people.

Nick: Yes.

Jeff: I'm not here.

Blaine: Very funny. Okay. So. Everyone, Joe is Kurt's friend from college.

Jeff: The dude you punched?

Joe: No, hater of the dude Blaine punched. Which was totally awesome, by the way. 

Nick: We're still in shock.

Blaine: Can we start? I have to get dinner going soon.

Wes: HAHAHAHANAHA

Jeff: HAHA at your typo Wes!

Wes:...... Shit.

Blaine: Know what? I'm just gonna start.

Santana: Hold up. Where's the meerkat?

Wes: Seb?

Santana: Who else could I mean?

Seb: Sorry. I was masturbating. 

Jeff: Ew.

Joe: A small reminder that I know NONE OF YOU.

Seb: What, Jeff? It's not like you don't.

Nick: Even so. Time and a place.

Seb: And for Jeff that's down your throat every night, right?

Blaine: Guys....

Nick: ;D

Joe: *wondering what the hell I've entered into.*

Santana: Just you wait, sunshine.

Blaine: Guys!

Santana: Ugh. Looks like Blaine has something to say. Let's pretend to be interested. Spill, Anderson.

Blaine: Thank you. I think. Okay. So.... I'm gonna propose to Kurt.

Blaine: Anyone?

Nick: Sorry, I was filing my nails. Really? Are we supposed to be surprised?

Blaine: YES!! You're supposed to be internally screaming like I am right now. 

Joe: You’ve been telling me since I first met you that you were going to marry him someday.

Seb: I stopped masturbating for you to tell us something we've known for years.

Blaine: Well I haven't! I mean, I've always known, but I haven't always known when. And now I do. 

Santana: Hold up- you're actually going to propose imminently, as opposed to sometime in the distant future?

Blaine: YES! 

Nick: Holy shit Blainers! That's amazing!

Joe: Oh, NOW I get it. Way to go Blaine!

Blaine: FINALLY! Thank you :) 

Santana: Don't use smileys, you're about as far from being a teenager as Seb is from being good looking. 

Seb: I might be crying. 

Santana: Me too, but tell anyone and...

Jeff: Yeah, yeah. OMG Blaine! So...when?

Seb: You should do it after sex, he'll be all dopey and more likely to say yes.

Wes: He's gonna say yes anyway, you moron.

Blaine: Oh fuck. What if he says no? I hadn't thought of that. I'd only thought about the proposal bit.

Santana: He won't say no. Seb, I'm gonna kick your ass. 

Jeff: Still waiting for an answer, bud. When?

Blaine: New Years. And I was thinking of having a party...

Wes: Yes.

Santana: I'm in.

Nick: We'll be there.

Joe: Count me in. I’ll let everyone at school know. 

Blaine: Oh. Okay. Um... So I am having a party then. New Year's Eve, our place. Obviously you can all stay. It's not a huge apartment but I'm sure you can all find some place to crash. 

Santana: NOT my breasts, Wes. 

Wes: *embarrassed*

Santana: You should be. 

Joe: *worried*

Wes: Blaine, can I tell them? Can I?

Blaine: Go for it. 

Wes: Blaine bought the ring aaaaaaages ago- the day before he moved to Chicago. And I've known of his plans since thanksgiving. Excited, much?

Seb: Yawn. 

Rachel Berry is online.

Wes is offline  
Jeff is offline  
Nick is offline

Seb: Run, Joe! Run! 

Sebastian is offline  
Joe is offline

Santana: As always, totally still here. Sitting next to the banshee, in fact. Brace yourself.

Rachel: BLAAAAAAAINE!!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO PROPOSE!!! WE WILL BE RELATED!!! (OR WE WILL WHEN FINN AND I MARRY. BECAUSE WE WILL.) OMG BLAINE!!! OMG!!!

Blaine: Um... Thank you? 

Rachel: CAN I BE BRIDESMAID?? CAN I?? WAIT. DO GAY COUPLES HAVE BRIDESMAIDS? THERE'S NO BRIDE. 

Rachel: I'M GOING TO GOOGLE.

Blaine: Rach?

Santana: She's googling 'Is it socially acceptable for gay men to have bridesmaids at their weddings.' I wish I was joking.

Blaine: Rachel? 

Santana: Oh Jesus take the wheel.

Rachel: YES IT IS...BUT THEN I READ SOMETHING WHICH GOT ME THINKING...INSTEAD OF BEING BRIDESMAID, I COULD SING!!! 

Blaine: Um...

Santana: Told you. 

Blaine: Rachel, I just really wanted to ask you not to say anything to Kurt. I want this to be perfect, and that can only happen if it's a total secret, okay?

Rachel: IF I AGREE, CAN I SING AT YOUR WEDDING? CAN I? CAN I???

Blaine: Yes.

Rachel: WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Santana: She actually did a cartwheel. You'd better have a role for me, Anderson.

Blaine: You know I will. You're my best girl. Or maid of honor. Whatever.

Santana: Serious?

Blaine: Of course. If you want to?

Blaine: Santana? Are you there?

Santana: I may have just joined with Berry in a cartwheeling extravaganza.

Blaine: Okay. So....I'm gonna go. I'll talk with you soon. And please make Rachel keep quiet.

Santana: Oh don't you worry, I know just how to do that.  
*  
“So because New Year's Eve is gonna be pretty busy, I was going to invite you and dad for lunch on New Years day,” Blaine says into the phone as he folds the laundry. “The Hummels too of course, and Finn and Rachel will already be here.” 

“That would be lovely, darling,” Sara Anderson says happily. “I’ll bring salad.”

“What’s salad got to do with anything?” Blaine laughs. “It’s like...below freezing here. No one will want salad. Bring pie.”

“Okay. Oh Blaine, I’m so excited!” 

“I know you are, but please, please, don’t say anything at Christmas, please?”

“Yes darling. Can I squeal?”

“No....Well...” he thinks, “you can squeal with Carole. Alone, in the kitchen. But nowhere near Kurt, okay?”

“I promise faithfully to confine my squealing. And I won’t tell the twins.”

“No! Definitely not. I’m going to call Cooper right now, but he is expressly forbidden from telling them. They adore Kurt and they’ll be desperate to spill.” 

“Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“I just...I just want you to know that I am so incredibly proud of you. After Luke... I thought that maybe you’d never recover, that I’d never get my boy back again. But since meeting Kurt you’ve...blossomed I guess,” she laughs. “You have become the most wonderful man. We’re very lucky parents, and Kurt is one lucky young man.”

“You can bring salad if you want,” Blaine sniffs as he wipes at his eyes. 

“I’ll take that as your way of telling me I’m embarrassing you,” she chuckles. “But if my darling wants pie, then pie it shall be.” 

“Love you momma.”

“Now I know you’re emotional, because you only call me that when you’re overwhelmed.”

“I’m gonna ask Kurt to marry me,” he whispers happily into the phone. “I’ve been waiting for this day since he was sixteen years old.”

“Have you thought how it’s going to go?”

“I have two options,” he says in a rush, desperate to run his ideas past someone. “Option one is to do it in front of everyone at midnight or just before. Kurt likes extravagance, and multiple people keep reassuring me that he will accept, so hopefully I won’t look like a fool. Option two is to steal him away as midnight approaches, lead him out onto our bedroom balcony and do it there, in private. Then we return to the party as fiancés,” he says, voice rising in pitch as he becomes more excited.

"Well.... Personally I like the balcony idea," she muses. "But as you said, Kurt likes extravagance. If it was you, you'd want to be proposed to in private."

"I would," he agrees. "Not necessarily private, I mean a restaurant would be fine, but not with all my friends looking on."

"How many are going to the party?" 

"About fifteen. It's more a gathering than a full out party. Joe is coming back for it, and his friends Jordan, Amber and Holly are staying over the holidays anyway. But the rest are with their parents. So it's the usual crowd, plus Sam, Puck, Mercedes, maybe Quinn."

"I just asked numbers, darling. I don't need a whole list. Am I right in thinking that the balcony also extends across your living room?"

"Yes, those doors slide right back." 

"That's your answer then. Slide those doors back, tell Rachel and Santana to keep everyone inside, drag Kurt onto the balcony and propose at midnight. There's bound to be fireworks going off, it will be incredibly romantic, plus everyone will be looking on." 

A stunned silence comes from the other end of the line before a slow smile spreads over Blaine's face. "My mother is a genius," he laughs. 

"I know. I've been telling everyone that for years," Sara agrees. "Mike! Mike! Blaine says I'm a genius!" 

"Blaine is deluded," comes Mike's affectionate voice in the background. 

"Dad, she is!" Blaine cries as Sara tells him he's on speaker. "She's...she's... She's just the best mom ever!" 

"Now that I can agree with," Mike laughs. "You sound happy, my boy. I like that."

"I'm beyond happy. I'm....ugh, I don't think there is enough adjectives to describe how I feel right now. I can't wait for New Years." 

"Christmas first," Mike reminds him. "You and Kurt are coming over after dinner, right?"

"Yes. We're going to the Hummels Christmas Eve, then we're all coming to you the next day after Finn goes to Rachel's. But Kurt and I are coming back here the next day." 

"At least we're seeing you on New Year," Mike says as he smiles down the phone. "I can't wait."

"Okay, I have to go. Date night."

"Nice."

"Yeah. Dinner and a movie. Can't go wrong."

"Unless you get stood up," Mike points out. "Do you remember, your second year of college I think it was, you were dating Brad..."

"Okay, going now."

"And he sent his roommate to tell you he'd bailed. Ouch."

"I took that roommate home," Blaine says smugly. 

"Oh. Well. I'll let you go...and...take your roommate home I guess," he laughs loudly at his own joke.

"Love you dad."

"Love you too. Take care of Kurt for me." 

*

"My dad told me to take care of you," Blaine tells Kurt over dinner that evening. 

"You always do," he smiles at him, reaching across for his hand. 

"You never told me what you talked about when you went fishing."

"That was weeks ago. We didn't talk about anything specific," Kurt shrugs. "Your dad likes to tell me tales of when you were growing up, and I like to listen. He's funny..... I didn't complain to him or anything."

"I know that," Blaine laughs. 

"I try to take care of you too, you know," Kurt says softly as he runs his thumb over his hand. "You're rather precious." 

"You do," Blaine says seriously.

"Do you have work between Christmas and New Year?"

"Nothing booked. When do you return to class?"

"January third."

"Then that's when I'll return to work," Blaine grins.

"I was hoping you'd say that. I love our family Christmases, but I was thinking that when we come back here we could have a Christmas of our own."

"Exchange gifts then?"

"Hmm, maybe one gift on Christmas Day and the rest at home," he smiles.

"You're assuming I've gotten you multiple gifts." 

"Yes. And if you haven't you'd better start shopping," he jokes. "So... What do you think?"

"I think it sounds perfect. Now eat, otherwise we'll miss the movie."

"We always miss half of it anyway," Kurt says around a mouthful of chicken. "We could just save our money and make out at home." 

"Where's the fun in that?"

"I'm going to ignore that comment, Blaine Anderson," Kurt says haughtily. "And for that, you're not sharing my popcorn."


	8. Chapter 8

"Merry Kurt and Blaine Christmas," Kurt sing songs as he lowers himself onto Blaine's back. "I think Santa's been." 

"I think Santa emptied his sack into my ass last night," Blaine grouches from underneath his pillow. 

"Blaine!" Kurt laughs and rolls off him onto his side, swatting his backside with his palm. "You're gross."

"You're a damn good fuck," comes the gravelly response.

"Oh my God!" Kurt cries in shock. "What is with you?" 

"I'm horny as hell," comes the quick reply as Blaine emerges from underneath the pillow and tackles Kurt around his waist, laughing as he tickles and showers him with kisses. "Merry Kurt and Blaine Christmas to you too," he says with a firm kiss to his lips. "Today is going to be perfect. And I have no intention of getting dressed all day. Or answering the phone, or reading emails or generally communicating with anyone who isn't you."

"Sounds good to me," Kurt agrees. "Although...."

"What?"

"Nothing. I made breakfast," he says brightly as he works his way out from underneath the tangle of Blaine's limbs. "Wait there." 

He returns a few moments later, carrying a huge tray holding copious amounts of food, coffee and orange juice along with a single red rose. "For you," he says sweetly, offering the flower as he crawls back on the bed.

"Thank you," Blaine beams. "Very cute. Ooh, bagels." 

They eat in companionable silence, sitting side by side with their bodies touching all the way from shoulders down to tips of toes. It makes it rather awkward when either of them has to move, but it also makes them happy, the constant reassuring presence of the other only serves to reinforce their love. 

"December twenty eighth," Blaine sighs as they push the tray to one side and he pulls Kurt onto his chest. "Can you believe nearly a whole year has passed?"

"Yes, because the calendar tells me so," Kurt says, laughing at the dig to his ribs. "What are we doing for New Years?"

"Um... I kind of invited some people," Blaine begins sheepishly, not wanting to give the game away. "Like Wes and Santana...maybe Rachel and Finn."

"Oh. Okay," Kurt agrees. "They didn't say anything over the holidays."

"Preoccupied I guess," he tries with a nervous laugh, but luckily Kurt buys it. 

"Yeah. I guess everyone was pretty busy. It was a good time though, wasn't it?"

"Yes. I can't believe how the twins have grown up."

"Maddie snapping at you was one of the highlights for me," Kurt smiles into his chest. "'I don't quiz you about your love life, Uncle Blaine,'" he impersonates, "'so stop interrogating me about mine.' Classic."

"Yes, given that the only thing she ever does is question me about you endlessly."

"Because you indulge her," Kurt smiles. 

"I like talking about you. I can't help but indulge her. She's my niece and she's beautiful. I told her she's not allowed to date until she's thirty."

"What about Taylor?"

"He can date," Blaine says. "But he must be chaperoned at all times."

"Ha! Yes, I'm sure they'll listen to Uncle Blaine."

"I'm gonna be a terrible father," he groans as he covers his face with his hands. 

"You're gonna be the cutest daddy imaginable," Kurt corrects. "A little protective, maybe, but loving, adoring and playful. Everything a little girl could ask for." 

"You know, Kurt, every year lots of baby girls are born. There's another type born as well...boys. You might have heard of them? And rumor has it that you can't choose."

"I know, I know," Kurt laughs. "But I have this mental image of you and I in the future, walking along with a little girl holding our hands, smiling up at us, her hair in pigtails...." 

"Okay, enough. I'll cry."

"You always cry," Kurt laughs.

"I know."

"So...are we gonna do gifts, or what?" Kurt asks impatiently. "I wasn't kidding when I said Santa had been." 

"How lucky I am, that at thirty four, Santa visits me not only at your dad's house, but my parents place and here as well," Blaine laughs, bending to kiss the tip of Kurt's nose. 

They wander into the living room, where their little tree still stands, both reluctant to remove the momento of their first Christmas in their own place. A small pile of gifts sit under the tree, and Kurt squeaks in excitement when he spots another pile tucked around back. 

"For me?"

"No, for the woman on the second floor who has six cats," Blaine says as he rolls his eyes. "What do you think?" 

They unwrap small gifts from one another happily- socks, maple candy and aftershave for Blaine, Two books on musical theatre and much longed for Spider-Man Pajamas for Kurt, along with the hideously expensive moisturizer which Blaine knows Kurt loves but seldom can afford. 

"I have a proper gift for you," Blaine says as he spits maple candy everywhere. 

"Well isn't that attractive," Kurt says dryly. "I have a proper gift for you too, but you're not getting it until you wash your hands." 

Blaine jumps up and returns a few moments later, carrying a large box which he sets down before holding out his hands for Kurt to inspect. 

"Very good. Okay, me first," he demands, knowing full well Blaine will be happy to indulge, which he does, laughing and sliding the box over to him. "Ooh! Ted Baker!" Kurt squeals as he undoes the large ribbon and lifts the lid. "Oh. My. God. So many clothes! So many clothes!" Pushing the box to one side for a moment, he throws himself into Blaine's arms, who falls backwards with the force of the hug. 

"You'd better see if you like them," Blaine laughs. 

"Ahhhh!" is all Kurt is capable of as he unpacks shirts, pants and a blazer, gazing at it and running his fingers adoringly over the lapels. "Folies Jacquard Blazer in black," he sighs happily. "Oh how I have longed for you. Feel it Blaine, it's all velvety."

"I take it you like it? I feel lame, buying you clothes all the time, but I know how much you like designer stuff..."

"I adore it, which is why it's all I ever ask for, and why I leave magazines lying around the place in the hope that you'll take the hint," he smiles. 

"There's more."

"Cravats! I love cravats! Did you just buy the whole store?"

"Umm...pretty much," Blaine laughs.

"Shoes! Blaine! You got my shoes!"

"You've been on about those darn silver shoes forever," Blaine says with an indulgent smile, watching as Kurt puts them on. "How could I not buy them?"

"They're not 'silver shoes,'" Kurt admonishes. "They're Patmet High Shine Leather Derby in Metal," he corrects as he stands. "And oh my god they're fabulous." 

"And they go so well with the Spider-Man pajamas," Blaine says as he snaps a photo on his phone. "You're a fool."

"Do you want your gift or not?" he asks, hands on hips as he stares down at him. 

"Yeah, I do actually."

"Okay. Well it's not as...extravagant I guess," Kurt says as he heads to the guest room. "But it seems that we both had the same idea." He returns with a large garment carrier, sitting on the floor and handing it to Blaine as he smiles shyly. "Merry Christmas." 

Blaine unzips the bag, staring in awe at the dark green velvet suit, complete with a gray vest with green velvet paisley pattern running through it and matching bow tie. 

"Holy shit Kurt," he marvels. "This must have cost you a fortune." 

"I...I made it actually," he says quietly, causing Blaine to look up sharply. 

"You....?"

"Uh-huh," he nods, a shy smile playing on his lips. 

"Kurt, it's incredible," Blaine tells him sincerely. "Really, truly incredible. It's...my god, it's perfect." He inspects the stitching closely, finding no flaws as he shakes his head and looks at him again. "You have a real gift, a talent. Use it, please. I sometimes feel like I wasted mine. Don't let the same happen to you."

"You didn't waste anything," Kurt says as he blinks back tears. "You make music for a living."

"I write annoying jingles and play instruments for other people to sing over," Blaine replies with a rueful smile. "I wanted to be a symphony musician."

"You were."

"Once."

"Blaine...I'm proud of you no matter what. But I will heed your advice. I'm thinking of taking costume design as one of my electives anyway." 

"Good. Do it." He falls onto his hands and knees as he leans across and kisses him deeply. "This is the best gift I've ever gotten," he smiles. "You're the best. I can't wait to wear it."

"I'm glad....because I'm taking you out to dinner tonight." 

"What?"

"You heard. I want to show you off. And now I need to show off all my new clothes too. Is it acceptable to wear three pairs of pants and six cravats simultaneously?"

"I was hoping you'd wear the blazer on New Years."

"I can wear it for both." 

"Dinner where?"

"Mind your own damn business and eat your candy," Kurt says with a kiss to his cheek. 

They spend the afternoon curled on the couch watching movies, Kurt's fingers tracing idle patterns over Blaine's skin as he nuzzles into his chest, their breathing in sync with one another and with the occasional lazy kiss shared. Eventually Kurt moves reluctantly, taking a shower before his energy returns at the prospect of having brand new designer clothes to wear- and even if he does have to wear a coat over the top of his blazer, at least it's his beloved Burberry trench coat, and the silver shoes alert all to his presence. 

"Come on!" he calls to Blaine as he paces impatiently in the hallway. "I want to see! And you know, if I need to make any last minute alterations I....I.... Oh my goodness look at you. You're perfect." He stares in amazement as Blaine stands facing him, hair neatly gelled and suit fitting to him as if it were a second skin. 

"No alterations needed," he says softly. "Kurt, you look radiant."

"Thank you." He walks towards him, taking Blaine's hands in his and kissing his lips lightly. "You are so beautiful."

"It's the suit."

"Be quiet and take the compliment," Kurt smiles against his mouth. "By the way.... Are you still scared of heights?" he asks as they leave the building and search for a cab. 

"Why would I have stopped? Hang on...we're not....." 

Kurt holds the cab door open for him as he climbs inside warily. "The Hancock building," Kurt tells the driver as Blaine's head falls back against the seat in disbelief. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Blaine tells him honestly. "It's the tallest building in Chicago."

"With a very fancy restaurant at the top," Kurt says as he laces their fingers together. "But you've managed in a second floor apartment- even though you won't go near the edge of the balcony. Just try?"

"Of course," Blaine says, sounding braver than he actually feels.

*

"Oh. It's okay!" Blaine says in surprise as they're seated. "Wow. The view is incredible. And I...woah! Don't look down Blaine," he tells himself as Kurt laughs. "Looking out is fine. Looking down is not. Can we see our building from here?"

"Probably," Kurt says as he browses the menu. "But it's hard to tell in the dark. The lights look pretty though."

"They do. But not as pretty as you."

"Stop that," Kurt says without looking up. "And take your foot away from my leg please." 

"Spoilsport."

"Wait until later," Kurt says, glancing at Blaine over the top of his menu and smiling smugly at the way he blushes. 

"Kurt...this is really fancy," Blaine whispers. "Can I please pay half?"

"Absolutely not," Kurt tells him firmly as the waiter approaches. "Can we get some champagne please?" he asks, flashing his fake ID at the waiter who glances at him warily, looks at Blaine then shrugs and walks away.

"Are you insane? It's a hundred dollars a bottle. What did you do, sell a kidney?"

"Something like that," he murmurs. "Now what are you doing?"

"Gazing at you."

"Kindly gaze at your menu instead," Kurt tells him, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 

"I don't know what to have," Blaine says in awe. "I just....this is incredible, Kurt. The whole day...being with you...the best gift imaginable." 

"Duck," Kurt says decisively, snapping his menu closed. He reaches across for Blaine's hand once more and squeezes gently. "It's been perfect for me too," he smiles. "And it's not over yet."

"Shrimp," comes Blaine's response, making Kurt laugh as the waiter looks at them quizzically. 

They flirt over dinner, not in the manner of a shy couple on their first date, but in the way a seasoned couple with a deep seated love for one another do. Teasing, making suggestive comments to make the other laugh and sharing coy glances, soft touches of hands or sly rubbing of legs under the table with whispered I love you's as they grin broadly at one another. By the time their dessert is cleared, both are thoroughly relaxed, slightly giddy with champagne and the hand holding turns into a firm arm around Blaine's waist as Kurt escorts him from the restaurant. 

The cold night air, which holds the promise of snow, hits them as they step outside and Blaine pulls Kurt close for a long kiss, resting their foreheads together as he smiles blissfully with his eyes still closed. "Thank you for dinner," he whispers, his breath puffing in a white cloud between them. "Thank you for being you."

"You're welcome," Kurt tells him, hugging him close despite their bulky coats. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine smiles over his shoulder. Truth be told, he's suddenly overwhelmed by his feelings once again, excited yet nervous at the prospect of proposing in just three days time. "Let's go home," he tells Kurt brightly, offering his arm. 

"I was thinking we could take a walk," Kurt says as they fall into step together. "Maybe along Navy Pier? It's not far."

"It's freezing," Blaine moans lightly, but he doesn't disagree as they alter their course and cross the street. 

"Snuggle close and I'll keep you warm," Kurt teases as he wraps his arm around his waist. "I love Navy Pier, it reminds me of the first time we visited here."

"You skipped school."

"I did," he grins. "And you nearly had heart failure."

"I still can't believe your dad knew all along," Blaine laughs as they step onto the waterfront. "I was so worried about him finding out." 

The pier is quiet, most people choosing a night in the warm over a night out in the cold, but Blaine and Kurt pay the temperature no heed as they stroll along together admiring the lights on the water. Suddenly, Blaine turns. Capturing Kurt's face in his gloved hands he kisses him fiercely, almost desperately, breathing in sharply through his nose as Kurt responds eagerly under his touch. When Blaine breaks the kiss it is to walk away a couple of paces, where he leans heavily on the barrier and stares out at the night. 

"Kurt, I....." he begins. Turning, his eyes scan the area where Kurt was standing, then looking down he suddenly sees him on one knee. "What are you doing down there?"

"Blaine," Kurt starts, voice high and shaking with nerves. "You...you are my everything. You came into my life and swept me off my feet when I was still a kid. Now I'm a man, and I love you more than I ever thought possible. I just...I need you in my life. Blaine Devon Anderson..... Will you marry me?"

A stunned silence falls and Kurt stares with wide, hopeful eyes as Blaine swallows repeatedly, flushes red and then whispers "Are you serious?"

"Blaine, I know humor has played a great part in our relationship over the years, but I'm not joking about this."

"But I.... Me? You want to marry me?" he asks softly, falling to his knees to take Kurt's hands in his. 

"You know most people just give a simple yes or no answer," Kurt teases. "I know we said forever, I know neither of us want anyone or anything else but..... I just really want us to be the Hummel-Andersons, or the Anderson-Hummels, depending on which you'd prefer," he says with a small, trembling laugh. "I want to be able to thank my husband when I collect my Tony. On our daughter’s wedding day I want to start the speech with 'my husband and I...'"

"You're determined to have a girl aren't you?" Blaine laughs, and Kurt smiles indulgently as he notices he's crying. 

"I am....but I'm more determined to have you, forever and ever. I love you so, so much my old man."

"I love you too gorgeous boy," Blaine says, voice thick with tears. Leaning forward he takes his face in his hands and kisses him deeply, running his tongue into his mouth and moaning when Kurt instinctively grabs his hair. "And by the way...." he grins as he pulls back to look into his eyes. "Yes."

"Yes?" Kurt repeats, eyes shining with excitement. 

"Yes."

"You said yes!"

"I did," Blaine confirms, his whole face lighting up with joy. 

"I want to get married the day after I graduate," Kurt says, pulling back slightly to look at him. 

"After you graduate for sure," Blaine agrees. "It doesn't have to be the day after..."

"It does."

"Okay," he smiles before they kiss, lips moving together as tears mingle on their faces and they pull back with breathless smiles. 

"Oh! Ring! I have a ring!" Kurt remembers as he pulls his gloves off with his teeth and rummages inside his suit pocket. Brushing away tears, he proudly opens the small box and with trembling, fumbling fingers, manages to slide the ring onto Blaine's left hand, who holds it close to look at it. It is a thick titanium band, with two thin bands of gold running around the edges. In the middle, glinting under the streetlamp, is a pure, brilliant cut diamond. 

"You're my fiancé!" Kurt cries in happy disbelief, then crashes their lips together before pulling Blaine- who is now crying freely- into a tight hug. "What must we look like, to passers by?" He laughs tearfully against Blaine's neck.

"I don't really care," Blaine tells him, but pulls him to his feet nonetheless and showers his face with kisses. "I love the ring," he tells him as they admire Blaine's hand together. "But how did you....?"

"I sold my car," Kurt admits sheepishly. 

"You what?"

"It's not like I'm using it," he reasons. "It's just sitting on my dad's driveway because we share yours here, and when we do go visit I can always use Finn's car, or even dad's truck if I need to."

"But you love that car."

"And I love you. I've been saving as much money as I can....but I wanted it all to be perfect. I was going to wait until your next birthday," he tells Blaine, who smiles in disbelief at how similar their plans were. "But something changed."

"At Thanksgiving."

"Yes!" Kurt agrees, happy that Blaine noticed too. "And I just realized that I wanted to make you my fiancé now. I couldn't wait any longer."

"So you planned all this since Thanksgiving?"

"Yes. I didn't dare to plan anything until your dad had agreed."

"Huh?"

"The Saturday after Thanksgiving, when we went fishing? Um...well...it was actually so I could ask his permission." 

Blaine's jaw drops in surprise at the thoughtfulness of the gesture as his eyes fill with fresh tears. "You...you did that for me?"

"I wanted to do things properly," Kurt smiles. "But I made him promise not to tell anyone."

"No one else knew?"

"No. Not even my dad. It's been hard," he laughs. "Particularly not telling him or Rachel but... Well my dad has a tendency to get a little over excited, and he spills too much to you anyway. And Rachel is the world’s worst at keeping exciting news to herself." He misses Blaine's nervous swallow and tight nod as he carries on. "And luckily for me, your dad seemed to think it was a fantastic idea," he says as he nudges against him playfully. “By the way, he gave me a hundred dollars to buy the champagne."

"I'll be sure to thank him," Blaine says as he cuddles close to his new fiancé. "But please tell me you didn't spend all your money on this."

"No, I still have some left," Kurt confirms. "It's in a savings account which I like to call 'wedding fund'" 

"I think I like that name, and I think I'll be needing to add my name to that account, if you don't mind."

"Wedding planning!" Kurt says suddenly, the realization hitting him. "I didn't even think of that! We get three years to plan our wedding!" 

“You know, on second thoughts, maybe an engagement wasn’t such a great idea....” Blaine teases, laughing as he dodges the smack to his arm. “You proposed to me, Kurt,” he cries suddenly, picking Kurt up and twirling him around, ear splitting grins on both their faces. He sets him gently on his feet again and climbs onto a nearby bench, holding his arms wide as he yells out across the water. “WE’RE ENGAGED!”

“Get down here, you crazy,” Kurt laughs, holding his arms out as Blaine hugs him tight once more. 

“You proposed to me, Kurt,” Blaine whispers happily into his ear. “You proposed to me.”


	9. Chapter 9

The newly engaged couple walk the few blocks to their building, Blaine reluctantly putting his gloves on at Kurt's insistence when he feels how cold his fingers are. They are quiet for the most part, until they are inside in the warm, happily shrugging out of their coats and blazers, rolling up their shirtsleeves and moving to the kitchen where Blaine automatically begins to heat milk for hot chocolate. 

"So when did you want to tell everyone?" Kurt asks excitedly as he perches on a stool. 

"Tomorrow? Is that okay?" Blaine asks. "I know it's exciting, and I know you struggle not to tell the entire world every little detail of our life but....just....let's just have tonight."

"I agree," Kurt smiles. "But I do not tell the entire world everything."

"Your Facebook statuses are legendary," Blaine laughs as he sits on the counter. "Blaine is in the shower and I'm reading. Blaine has gone grocery shopping, I'll bet he forgets to buy Parmesan. Totally kicked Blaine's ass at Monopoly this evening."

"I did!" he cries. "Anyway, at least I know what Facebook is," Kurt says as he pokes out his tongue. 

"I have an account!" 

"Which hasn't been updated in almost a year."

"Well maybe I'll update it tomorrow then," he grins as he kisses into Kurt's hair. "Relationship status: engaged to Kurt Hummel." 

"Yes!" Clapping his hands in excitement, his eyes widen as Blaine removes his bow tie and unfastens the top two buttons of his shirt. "Oh," he exclaims softly. Blaine says nothing, just arches one eyebrow and looks down at him. "Hot," he explains, making Blaine laugh and ruffle his hair as he hops from the counter. 

He makes their drinks, pushing one across the counter to Kurt who blows across the top absentmindedly, only coming out of his daydream when he hears Blaine clearing his throat. "Um... Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Shall we...uh....do you want to move to the couch?"

"Sure," he replies nonchalantly, but as soon as he's seated he feels the air turn heavy with want when Blaine slides closer and smooths a hand firmly over his thigh.

"The way you blow across the top of your drink makes me insanely horny," Blaine laughs, reaching out to run his fingers over the back of Kurt's neck. 

"And the sight of you in shirtsleeves with an open neck is one which I will never tire of," Kurt replies, trailing a finger into the crevice. He takes Blaine's mug, setting them both carefully on the coffee table. "I want to make love to you," he whispers, falling into Blaine's arms and placing a kiss to the hollow of his throat. 

"I'm not stopping you," Blaine replies, voice cracking with desire. 

"It's okay to make love to my fiancé?" Kurt teases as his hands wander under Blaine's shirt to ghost over his strong stomach muscles. 

"It's more than okay." 

"Do you like being called my fiancé?"

"It's only all I've ever dreamed of," Blaine answers, a smile on his lips which quickly turns to a small gasp of surprise when Kurt rubs the pads of his thumbs over his nipples. "You're wicked," he chuckles.

"Mmhmm," Kurt agrees, removing his hands and setting to work on Blaine's buttons instead. 

"Am I even allowed to touch your clothes?" Blaine asks as his hands hover at Kurt's cravat. 

"I guess," he murmurs, dropping sweet kisses to Blaine's collarbone. "Since it's a special occasion."

"Thanks," Blaine laughs. His face creases into a frown of concentration as he struggles with the cravat, huffing frustratedly when Kurt removes it for him. He doesn't fare any better with his shirt either, the tiny little buttons- which Blaine knew would appeal to Kurt when he picked it- turn out to be hideously intricate and hard to undo, and eventually Kurt reaches up and stills his shaking hands. 

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know why, but I'm incredibly nervous," Blaine says with a small laugh. "I want this to be perfect and I can't even undress my fiancé properly." 

"Well you know I'm hopeless with cuff links," Kurt tells him with a sweet smile. "So here." Pulling Blaine to his feet, they stand facing each other in the lamplight. "Let's strip together and get all these infernal layers out the way." 

Blaine relaxes then, smiling as they pull off their clothes quickly until they're down to just their briefs when Kurt reaches for him. "I think I can manage to remove these for you," he whispers into Blaine's ear as his fingers dip teasingly below the waistband. "Though I don't know why, but I feel nervous too." 

"We're silly."

"Or deeply in love," Kurt offers.

"That's good. We can go with that," Blaine chuckles as he winds his arms around Kurt's neck and kisses him tenderly. "Because I do love you so very much. And tonight you've made me the happiest man the world."

"You said yes, your happiness cannot compare with my relief," Kurt tells him as he plays with his hair. 

"Did you ever doubt?" 

"Not doubt..." he starts, scrunching his nose as he thinks. "But I worried...I don't know actually. I don't know what I worried for just...."

"I know what you mean," Blaine reassures. "Kind of like we are right now, I guess."

"Yes. It's like...we know it's okay but....we want it to be perfect for the other one." 

"I..." Blaine starts, but loses all trail of thought when Kurt pushes close to him and their clothed cocks rub together. "That's so good," he gasps. "It always feels so good." 

"Lie down," Kurt orders and Blaine tumbles back onto the couch, pulling Kurt with him. "Don't make me come in my underwear again," Kurt warns him as Blaine pulls his thigh up to grind against him. 

"Not a chance. Not tonight, anyway." He beams as they stare deep into one another's eyes, Kurt gently brushing a stray curl from Blaine's forehead before caressing his face, allowing his fingers to travel lower until they trail over his chest. 

Soft sighs and moans fill the room, but they still don't move much beyond kissing and gentle touches, drawing out the night for as long as they can until they are both hard and beginning to become desperate. It is Kurt who breaks first, bringing his hand to cup Blaine's erection roughly through his briefs. 

"I need to be inside you," he groans, pushing his own underwear from his hips before tackling Blaine's.

"Yes....oh god, yes." Blaine rolls from the couch, fumbling in the pocket of his pants for a small packet of lube, pausing on his knees as he notices Kurt watching him with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't know what the evening would entail," he says with a small blush. 

Kurt shakes his head, laughs and takes the packet from him, slicking his fingers as Blaine falls on his hands and knees in front of him. He stays sitting on the couch, leaning forward to kiss at the base of Blaine's spine. "Gorgeous," he murmurs as he slowly opens Blaine up. "Just exquisite." 

Blaine doesn't answer but falls down onto his elbows, pushing his ass into the air and exposing himself for his lover. His breathing comes hot and heavy as Kurt pushes two fingers deep inside while smoothing his other hand over Blaine's back. Eventually, neither can take it anymore, Blaine writhing and whimpering as Kurt palms himself, desperately needing any sort of friction. 

"Up here," Kurt encourages, and Blaine climbs eagerly into his lap, locking his fingers at the base of Kurt's neck as he sinks slowly onto his cock. 

"Oh," he whispers, unable to vocalise any more than that as Kurt holds him tightly and kisses his shoulder. 

"I love you, future husband of mine," Kurt smiles up at him, leaning happily into the sweet caress of Blaine's hand over his cheek. 

"I love you too." Blaine presses their foreheads together as he begins to ride him slowly, grinding himself onto Kurt as they kiss deeply, tongues winding together happily until they absolutely have to break apart to catch their breath. 

Kurt's hands move to grip Blaine's ass as he thrusts into him, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses wherever he can reach. Despite the temperature outside, their bodies press together, slick with sweat as their hair turns damp and they cling to one another. Throwing his head back, Kurt moans long and loud, aware the noise is coming from him but completely unable to stop it when he feels Blaine's sweet lips trailing over his neck and throat. He winds his fingers into his curls, now broken free of their gel, and tugs hard.

"My boy," Blaine moans, rising and falling onto Kurt's cock as if made for that purpose. "Look at me, Kurt."

Blue eyes fly open, meeting amber as Blaine cradles Kurt's face in his hands. His cock is pushed between them, rubbing over Kurt's stomach as he spills, moaning into Kurt's open mouth who thrusts up into him a few more times before driving deep as he pulses inside, gripping Blaine's back for all he's worth and sighing happily into the salty taste of his skin. They rock together slowly, sharing tender, loving kisses before Kurt carefully withdraws and Blaine lies the full length of the couch, pulling Kurt tight against his chest, who laughs softly. 

"Are you giggling?" Blaine asks in utter disbelief, still dazed and confused. 

"Yes."

"Have you regressed to your twelve year old self?" He kisses into Kurt's damp hair, smiling at the feel of his naked body shaking with laughter as it rests in his arms. 

"I was about tell you not to get semen on the couch," he says as he laughs harder. "Then I figured it would probably ruin the moment. And now I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know why it's funny, it's actually kinda gross when you think about it....but my first thought, when you lay down was 'don't ruin the couch by getting jizz all over it.'" He is laughing all out now, joined by Blaine who rolls him over so he's lying on top of him. 

"There. No jizz on the couch. I'm glad I'm marrying such an elegant, classy individual," he laughs. "I love you, gorgeous boy. Let's get cleaned up and get to bed." 

Blaine is awoken the next morning when he is unceremoniously shoved from Kurt's chest, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes as his young fiancé leaps from the bed. 

"It's morning! It's morning! Can I call my dad? Can I?"

Blaine's husky laugh rumbles deep inside. "Yes," he answers, pulling himself from the bed and kissing Kurt's lips. "You call him in here, I'll go make breakfast and call my parents too." 

Laughing at the sheer volume of Kurt's excited "Dad! I have news!" Blaine pads to the kitchen and pours coffee, waiting patiently for his mom to pick up the phone. 

"Good morning darling!" Sara exclaims happily. 

"Mom? How did you know it was me?" Blaine asks in confusion. 

"I didn't."

"....Oh. Okay. Um.... So, Kurt proposed to me last night."

"That's nice.....hang on...wait...Kurt proposed! Oh my goodness! Ahhhhh!" she yells happily. "My boys are engaged! Wait a second...he beat you to it?"

"He sure did," Blaine laughs happily. 

"You said yes, didn't you darling?"

"Of course I said yes!" 

"Engaged! Oh gosh. Mike! Mike! Get in here!" Blaine holds the phone away from his ear as she bellows loudly. "MICHAEL! HERE, NOW!" 

Blaine hears faint rumblings, then the gruff, sleep filled voice of his dad entering the room.

"Is dad there?"

"He is. I'll put him on."

"Actually mom, put me on speaker."

"Hey son."

"You knew." 

"I did," Mike says with a laugh in his voice. "Congratulations." 

"You knew?" Sara asks. "What do you mean, you knew?" 

"Kurt asked for Blaine's hand at thanksgiving," he tells her. 

"He didn't ask for my hand," Blaine moans, embarrassed. "He just wanted your permission to propose."

"His exact words were 'I would like to ask you for Blaine's hand in marriage,'" Mike tells him smugly. "I was there, you were not. Did he buy champagne?"

"Yes. Thank you. You didn't have to get that for us." 

"You gave a minor money to buy alcohol?" Sara asks incredulously. "Michael."

"No, I gave my future son-in-law money to get some champagne to celebrate his engagement. So....Blaine. How is your fiancé?"

"He's perfect," Blaine grins. "Dad it was wonderful. He made me a suit...."

"Yes I know that. He's been emailing me about it."

"Oh. Well anyway, he made me this suit and took me to dinner."

"At that tower place?"

"Yes."

"Ah good. He was worried you might not like it there...."

"Do you just know everything?" Blaine snaps.

"I was wondering the same," Sara remarks dryly.

"Sorry. Kurt needed someone to talk to. The poor kid has been a nervous wreck over it all. And since he didn't want anyone else to know, he only had me. Sorry Blaine, carry on."

"No, don't carry on darling," Sara interrupts. "Kindly get off the phone so I can call Carole. We need to squeal."

"Kurt's on the phone with her right now, so I'm gonna bore you with all the details," Blaine grins, then proceeds to fill them in. 

"So Kurt is...." Sara starts after Blaine has run through every last detail.

"Kurt is here! Right now!" he calls, perhaps a little louder than anticipated as he holds one hand out to him. 

"And does he know that you were planning....?"

"No, no. No, no." Blaine forces out through gritted teeth, aware of Kurt eyeing him strangely. "Everything is fine."

"You'll have to say something at some point though," she reasons. 

"I know," he hisses, hopeful that Kurt is distracted by his cereal. "Just not yet." 

"Can I talk with Kurt?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Oh please," she wheedles. "I promise I won't mention anything about your plans."

"Ugh. Okay. But I'm putting you on speaker, and I will disown you if you...."

"Yes, yes." 

The rest of the day is spent basking in happy congratulations for Kurt, and for Blaine, trying to cut anyone and everyone off when they mention the planned New Years proposal. After dinner Kurt decides to take a bath, much to Blaine's relief as he remembers Sebastian's stern command to appear online at eight sharp. 

Blaine: I'm here

Seb: Blaine, what the fuck?

Wes: I was going to ask the same, only not quite so eloquently.

Santana: OMG BLAINE, KURT ASKED YOU FIRST!!!!! OMG!!!!

Wes: Santana, why do you sound like Rachel?

Santana: BECAUSE THIS IS RACHEL!!!! I KNEW IF YOU SAW MY NAME YOU WOULD ALL RUN SO ZJDJDMCLSOIDKEKSdkdkdkkdkkoowp,&:@' 

Santana: Laptop now retrieved. Berry is in some considerable pain. So. Blaine. Ouch.

Blaine: No, not ouch. It was perfect. He....he's just amazing, you guys. He's nineteen for fucks sake, and he sold his car to buy my engagement ring. He made me a suit, took me to dinner and then, in a place that is so special to us, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He was shaking with nerves and shining with love and I'm just, I'm just so happy right now. 

Joe: Awww!

Wes: Yeah, that's...that's just... STUPID DAMN TEARS!

Santana: Can I still be maid of honor?

Blaine: Yes.

Nick: So what now?

Jeff: You're still having a party, right? Tell me you're still having a party.

Blaine: Of course! Only now it's gonna be our engagement party.

Joe: So what did Kurt say, when you said you were planning to propose too?

Blaine: I haven't told him. He doesn't know. 

Rachel: WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HIM, BLAINE? THAT'S JUST DUMB. FOR SOMEONE SO OLD YOU ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID SOMETIMES!!!

Seb: I was about to go offline to avoid Berry, but I have to say, I agree.

Blaine: It's not dumb. And I will tell him, at some point. But I want this to be his. I want him to own this moment. You know? I never thought someone would propose to me. Ever. And I figured because he was so young that he would kind of be waiting on me to do it. But he didn't. And it wasn't a spur of the moment thing either. He went to my dad and asked his permission, he planned everything down to the last minute detail. I don't want to take away from all that by saying 'oh you know what? I had my own proposal planned too.' Why would I do that to him?

Santana: I see your point, but actually, I don't think he'd be upset. I think he'd be more happy about getting a sparkly ring. 

Rachel: IT IS SPARKLY, ISN'T IT, BLAINE? IT HAS TO SPARKLE!!! 

Blaine: It should do. It's got enough diamonds on it. 

Rachel: SQUEAL!!!!

Joe: Who is this girl? She's crazy.

Jeff: Santana's roommate and Kurt's best friend.

Seb: And yes she is.

Wes: Getting back on track; Blaine, if you want my advice, I would sit on it a while. Like you said, let Kurt have this moment and then, when the time is right, present him the ring and tell him. You have this endearingly sweet manner when you admit to things which makes people forget about the content of your words and focus on you. Kurt won't be upset, he will be thrilled with a sparkly ring, sure, but he'll be more pleased to realize you want to marry him as much as he wants to marry you. 

Blaine: AND THIS IS WHY WES TRUMPS YOU ALL!!!

Rachel: OMG YOU SOUND LIKE ME!!!!

Blaine: Shit. 

Santana: Actually, I trump Wes because I have breasts. 

Blaine: That's kinda irrelevant to me, in case you didn't notice.

Joe: I like breasts! 

Jeff: Dude, she's a scary as shit lesbian. You're wasting your time. 

Wes: Everyone's gay, Joe. Except me.

Rachel: I AM NOT GAY!!!

Blaine: No, but you're very much taken. And Joe, so are you.

Joe: Nope. Not any more!

Blaine: Sorry.

Joe: Don't be.

Seb: Bringing us back to the topic in hand, did you and Kurt have really dirty sex to celebrate?

Blaine: We made love, yes.

Nick:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jeff: Blaine you're freaking hilarious!

Joe: He's just being a gentleman.

Santana: You're even funnier than he is! Blaine and Kurt are filthy. They might not look it, in their dapper clothes with their cute bow ties and blushes...but we're talking butt plugs, handcuffs, vibrators... Blow jobs in back alleys....

Blaine: How the hell did you know about that??!!

Joe: Well I'll never look at you in the same way again, Blaine. Not that I even know what a butt plug is.

Seb: I could show you?

Joe: Um...

Blaine: How did you know?

Rachel: I TOLD HER!!! KURT TOLD ME AND I TOLD HER AND FINN.

Wes: And me.

Rachel: OH YES. AND WES.

Blaine: Know what? I'm gonna go. Kurt is taking a bath and I'm...

Seb: Gonna go join him? Oh please say yes, please! 

Blaine: Yes.

Seb: *whispers* Thank you Jesus. 

Blaine: ;D

Kurt yelps as Blaine splashes into the tub and sprawls on top of him, covering his neck and shoulders in kisses. 

"I was nearly asleep!"

"Good job I came in then," he grins as his hands smooth over his sides. "Did you tell Rachel about our very public oral encounter a few weeks back?" 

"Oh shit. She promised she wouldn't say anything. When did you speak with her?"

"She came online when I was checking emails," Blaine lies. "And just so you know, she told Santana, Wes...and your brother."

"She told Finn?" Kurt shrieks as he sits and water splashes over the side of the tub. "I'm gonna kill her. Damn. I should have known. She's just terrible at keeping things to herself."

"Pot, kettle, black?" Blaine asks, before Kurt realizes what he's said and hangs his head in embarrassment. 

"Are you mad?"

"No I'm not mad," he smiles, lifting Kurt's chin and kissing his cheek. "But you should know that I've just told Sebastian of my intentions to climb in this tub and get dirty with you before we get clean." 

"When did you talk with him?" Kurt cries.

"He was online too." 

"Oh. So this getting dirty.... What exactly does that entail?"

"Allow me to show you," Blaine says with a grin.


	10. Chapter 10

"Well Mr. Fiancé, how do I look?" Kurt asks, stepping into the living room, still in his socked feet but other than that, decked head to toe in the designer clothes Blaine bought him. 

"Exceptionally dashing and handsome," Blaine replies as he slides his arms around his waist. "And what does my Mr. Fiancé think of me?"

"Dapper as always, distinguished, elegant... and mine," he smiles. "We have ten minutes until the guests arrive."

"I wouldn't even be able to tackle that brooch in ten minutes." Blaine moves to the kitchen, passing a tall champagne flute to him. "So I'll make a toast instead. To us, our future together and....wedding planning." 

A beaming Kurt clinks his glass and sips. "You know, there was a time I didn't even like champagne. You've turned me into a lush." 

"Not too much tonight please," Blaine says with a frown. "That sounded terrible, I apologize. It's just we have all the parents coming to lunch tomorrow...."

"Blaine, it's okay," Kurt reassures him. "I haven't gotten drunk since....well...yes."

"We could get a little tipsy I guess," Blaine muses. "But not so much that I begin to think loud, semi- public sex is a good idea."

"Okay, though you weren't drunk last time," he laughs as the intercom sounds. "Here we go. Kurt and Blaine's New Years Party is about to begin." 

An hour later and everyone is gathered and loud chatter and music fills the apartment as Kurt and Blaine greet their friends warmly, Wes guards the liquor stash from Puck and Sebastian makes endless jokes about admiring Blaine's ring. Kurt flits between everyone, quite the social butterfly, whereas Blaine is happier with his usual crowd of ex-warblers and Santana, who he drags to the home made dance floor in the middle of the living room. 

"Why do you always make me dance with you? This is ridiculous," she moans. "I'm around twelve foot taller than you."

"Be quiet and suffer. So.... How's college?"

"It's good. I kick ass at dance, much to Berry's disgust, seeing as how I've never had any training other than cheerleading and Glee."

"You two are something else."

"She's like the world's most irritating sister....whom I love more than life itself," she adds reluctantly. "I miss you," she tells him as she leans onto his shoulder. 

"I know, and I miss you too."

"You have Kurt though. I have porn."

"You need the love of a good woman," he teases. 

"I saw her, over Christmas," she whispers quietly. 

"Brittany?"

"Yeah." 

"Santana, you have to move on sweetie. I know how much you cared for her, loved her even but..."

"But she didn't feel the same."

"No. But you know what? That's just what she's like. Artie, Sam...they've all been through it. Some people are just made to fly through life solo, however caring and sweet they can be. Look at Sebastian."

"Ha!" she scoffs. "So... Do you think I'm destined to fly solo?"

"No, I think you'll find someone to love, adore and worship you just as you deserve," he says firmly.

"Do you know any hot lesbians?"

"Only one," he grins.

"Smooth."

*

"...And then I asked him," Kurt is telling a large group of McKinley High's finest as Blaine walks past and squeezes his shoulder on the way to the kitchen. 

"Man...that's just the best," Puck exclaims happily. 

"What were like your exact words?" Finn asks. "Could you maybe write them down? It's just I'll need to ask Rach one day, and I don't really know what to say."

"I'm sitting right here," she snaps, though her whole face lights up at the prospect. 

"Finn, my words involved 'Blaine Devon Anderson' and something about wanting us to be the Hummel-Andersons. Neither of which will be applicable to Rachel."

"Why did you decide to do it so quietly though?" Tina asks. "You said you decided against even proposing in the restaurant, and you looked around before getting down on one knee to check there weren't too many people around."

"I agree. A most un-Kurt like proposal," Quinn nods. 

"Because it wasn't my proposal," Kurt tells them, unaware of Blaine standing behind his chair, ostensibly talking with Wes. "It was Blaine's. The night- for me- was about Blaine and only Blaine. Yes, if I was being asked I'd want the whole fanfare, the grand gesture....but Blaine hates all that. The only time he's comfortable with attention is when he's performing, when he can adopt another persona. So... I kept it on the down low because I wanted it to be perfect for him."

"And it was," Blaine says, suddenly close to Kurt's neck and making him jump. "Everything I ever dreamed of. Dance with me, gorgeous boy." 

He tugs him toward the large glass doors, away from the other people dancing and takes him in his arms. Kurt sighs happily at the familiar feel of Blaine's strong hands on his back, then smiles as 'Awake' by Josh Groban begins to play. 

"I love this song."

"I know you do. Why do you think it's playing?"

"Sneaky," Kurt laughs. 

"I prefer incredibly romantic. Are you having fun?"

"Yes, but as with all these social occasions, I never get enough time with you."

"True. But we do need to be sociable sometimes, otherwise we'd never appreciate those moments we have alone. Besides, we do have quite wonderful friends."

"We do. I'm so happy everyone could come. That they wanted to come." 

"If I could make these moments endless  
If I could stop the winds of change  
If we just keep our eyes wide open  
Then everything would stay the same"

Blaine sings softly into Kurt's ear as they sway together and Kurt pulls him closer, moving his hands to the soft curls he loves so much. 

"So keep me awake for every moment  
Give us more time to be this way  
We can't stay like this forever  
But I can have you next to me today

We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me  
All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see"

Kissing Kurt's cheek tenderly, he stops the dance and turns him to look out at the lights of Chicago surrounding them and the soft snowfall which dances through the sky. Wordlessly, he takes his handkerchief from his breast pocket and offers it to him, smiling as Kurt wipes delicately at his eyes. 

"Don't cry," he whispers as he feels the familiar weight of Kurt's head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around his waist. "No man is worth your tears."

"Tears of happiness, I assure you," Kurt sniffs. "And you're worth an ocean of those. Ah, you really need to find somewhere to perform, you know. I miss hearing you sing." 

"I sing all the time around the apartment."

"Yes honey, and your Maria Von Trapp is second to none," he says as Blaine chuckles. "But I mean really sing."

"I know what you mean. I'll look into it. There's a cafe on Lincoln Avenue that has live music." 

"I guess we should go be sociable again," Kurt sighs as he becomes aware of the party continuing behind their backs. "And those baby cupcakes aren't going to eat themselves."

"I love you, my darling," Blaine says, unable to resist drawing him in for a long, lingering kiss.

"Put him down!" Nick calls over to him. "You'll get yours later, Anderson." He winks then runs off, laughing toward where Puck, Jeff and Joe are playing beer pong on the kitchen table.

"You'll find me at midnight?" Kurt asks in a small voice, fingers dancing over the buttons of Blaine's shirt. 

"Just try and stop me." 

They part, Kurt to dance with his college friends, and Blaine to find Wes. 

"Come into my bedroom," he says, tugging on his hand. 

"Blaine! I've known you for a lot of years now and..."

"Be quiet," he laughs, flipping the light and falling back onto the bed, the door closing behind him and drowning out the rabble. "I love him, Wes."

"Really? I wasn't aware. Jeez. You're a complete sap." He sits on the bed next to Blaine, smiling down at the dopey grin he finds plastered on his friends face. "Is there a reason you wanted to entertain me in your boudoir? Or did you just want to make those college kids talk?" 

"No real reason," Blaine confirms. "I just..."

"You're crying," Wes moans. "You always cry."

"I know," he sniffs as he rubs at his eyes. "I just get overwhelmed." 

"Gay men always have Kleenex very handily placed on their nightstands," Wes comments as he passes Blaine a handful. "I wonder why that is?"

"It's because when we're having sex, one of us..."

"Lalalalala!" Wes sings loudly as he sticks his fingers in his ears. "I KNOW why it is, you imbecile. Dear god."

"Sorry." Blaine says as he starts to cry again.

"C'mere," Wes sighs and Blaine crawls across the bed gratefully to rest his head in Wes' lap. "If anyone comes in right now, they'll definitely talk," he chuckles as his arm falls over Blaine's shoulder. "I take it these tears are because you're deliriously happy?" 

"Yes. I never thought I'd be this happy, Wes. Never. I thought I might end up with just a fairly decent job and then I'd spend the rest of my days watching everyone around me falling in love and getting married while I was just left on the shelf- damaged goods." 

"I think you've just described me," Wes says quietly. 

"What? No!" Blaine cries as he lifts his head. "Wes, you'll find someone. You will. And even if you don't, you have me." 

"Yes, thank you for the offer, but I'm not sure you can provide exactly what I need," he laughs. "I am happy, don't get me wrong," he adds as he sees Blaine's face darken with worry. "I miss you an insane amount, but I love my job and I love being close to Seb, Nick and Jeff. I just feel like....like I'm ready for all that now. I'm ready for the wife and two kids. The idea of watching little league fills me with happiness as opposed to the abject horror it once did."

"If I get a kid before you do, you can totally borrow it."

"Ha! Okay, I'll hold you to that," he laughs. 

"Seriously Wes, you are an amazing man. Someone, somewhere is perfect for you, and you will find them, I know you will. They'll come into your life at the most unexpected moment- look at Kurt and I."

"She has to be legal, Blaine."

"Touché."

They laugh together, sitting side by side on the bed and Blaine bumps him with his shoulder. "I'm gonna make it my life's mission to see you and Santana settled."

"Not with each other!" a horrified Wes cries. 

"It's a shame she's a lesbian," Blaine thinks out loud.

"Not for her it isn't."

"Ha! You two would be good together."

"No Blaine, we would not. If you want to set me up with someone, fine. My rules are simple. They have to be female, breathing and of the non-lesbian variety."

"Would you consider Sebastian?"

"I'm not even going to answer you. C'mon, it's nearly midnight."

Returning to the party, Blaine recruits Mercedes, Tina and Finn to make sure everyone has a drink in their hand and he keeps Wes close by his side as he locates Rachel and Santana. 

"Girls, I have a mission for you," he grins.

"Oh! Oh! I love missions!" Rachel claps her hands excitedly as Santana rolls her eyes. "Is it a secret one?"

"Sort of. I'm gonna slide those doors back in a moment," he says, gesturing to the closed off balcony behind them. It is your mission to keep anyone and everyone off the balcony, but to have everyone gather to watch."

"Watch?" Santana asks him. "Watch what?"

"Fireworks," Wes grins at her before he follows Blaine. 

"Excuse me Ladies....and Joe," Blaine says with a small bow. "Could I just steal Kurt away?"

"But we were just....oh! Yes!" Joe says as he catches the small shake of Blaine's head. "Go for it!" 

"What's going on?" Kurt asks, looking at Blaine as Wes thrusts a glass of champagne into his hand. 

"Come with me," Blaine says, tugging Kurt across the room and out onto the balcony.

"Blaine? It's freezing out here."

"We won't be out here long." Taking a deep breath, he turns to face him, taking both Kurt's hands in his. He makes to speak, but ends up huffing out a laugh as he hears Rachel screeching at someone.

"Not another step!" she yells. "I'm warning you! I'll set my roommate on you, and it won't be pretty."

"What is going on in there?" Kurt asks in confusion. 

"I tasked her and Santana with keeping everyone inside," Blaine smiles softly. "I want this to be just us."

"O-Kay."

"So...here's the thing. I um... The other....oh dear. I'm rambling. Um... Wow. Okay." He looks up, eyes sincere as he looks at him. "Kurt..... I was planning to propose to you tonight."

A tiny, soft "Oh," escapes Kurt's mouth as he stares, and becomes keenly aware of everyone now gathered in the open doorway. 

"I uh...I bought a ring....right before we moved. I had wanted to for ages, but I was waiting for you to graduate and then...well, we all know how that turned out," he laughs shyly. "But then we worked it out and I knew I wanted a ring for you. So I could look at it from time to time and know it was a promise to myself, as much as anything. Truth be told, I had no intention of proposing to you while you were still this young. But Thanksgiving...I just...it hit me Kurt. It makes no difference what age you are- or even how old I am, I guess. I look on an engagement as confirmation of a promise we made to each other long ago, a...a...a contract of our intentions, if you will."

He pauses a moment, reaching out to brush a stray tear from Kurt's cheek and smile at him softly. "I dragged Wes to the mall that day you were out allegedly fishing with my dad," he chuckles, more to himself than out loud. "We picked out a suit....which is still hanging in my closet. And that time you thought I had gone to Michigan for work? I drove to Lima to ask your dad's permission. I called all our closest friends and told them of my intention.... I had everything set up."

"And I ruined it," a horrified Kurt whispers as his hand flies to cover his mouth. 

"No you didn't, Kurt. Don't you see?" Encouraging Kurt's hands back into his own, he squeezes gently and offers a kind smile. "You made everything so much better- I don't even know where to begin. I know you've always dreamed of a big proposal," he says as Kurt laughs through his tears. "I assumed you would just sit tight and wait on that from me. I should know by now to never assume anything when it comes from you. I know you wanted the fanfare, the applause when you say yes...whereas I...I've dreamed of a proposal too. I had a dream that one day someone would love me enough to get down on one knee in the moonlight and ask me to marry them. And you did. You do. And yes, I bought a suit...but why would I ever want to wear that when I have this?" he asks as he gestures down at Kurt's masterpiece. 

"You didn't ruin anything, gorgeous boy. You confirmed for me that my idea of us getting engaged now wasn't as crazy as I feared it may be, that you were ready for this and wanted it as much as I did. You gave me the most perfect, romantic night I have ever experienced....When we were on the pier and we kissed, I broke away to lean on the railings. I was seconds away from asking you there and then," he smiles. 

"That's why I was so shocked to see you kneeling. I've nearly proposed so many times, Kurt. You have no idea. Not in Cooper's pool house, not in the school parking lot, your bedroom, or on the couch that day...but so many other moments have had me holding everything in, refraining from blurting those words because I wanted it to be perfect. And then you beat me to it in the most surprising, flawless, out of this world and sublime way possible."

Kurt sighs in happy relief, and makes to kiss him, but Blaine's finger meets his lips instead, silently asking him to hear him out. 

"For me, that is," he adds as Kurt furrows his brow in confusion. "But Kurt...you deserve the perfect proposal too."

As he drops to one knee, there on the balcony with the snow falling into his eyes, a muted excited hubbub coming from all their friends now jostling in the doorway, Kurt lifts a shaking hand to his mouth and starts to cry, a hand which Blaine reaches for again and holds tight in his hand. 

"I know this is real," Blaine tells him as he looks up with shining eyes. "I know...I hope...what your answer will be. But this is how I dreamed of this night happening, and I'm damned if I'm not going to see our dreams come true."

He smoothly produces a small box, lifting the lid and Kurt's eyes go wide as he takes in the sight of a white gold ring with a row of brilliant, sparkling diamonds. 

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. I love and adore you. Would you please do me the very great honor of consenting to be my husband?"

"You words were better than mine," he whispers. "And I don't even want to know how much that ring cost."

"You know, most people just give a yes or no answer, Kurt," Blaine teases. 

"I know, but we're not conventional about anything," he grins.

"So will you? Marry me?"

"Yes!" Kurt cries loudly. "A thousand times, yes!" 

Blaine is on his feet in seconds, pushing the ring onto Kurt's left hand and then knocking the air from his lungs as he crushes him tight against his chest and kisses him fiercely. A huge cheer erupts as their friends push through the doorway at last, and they are swept apart on a tidal wave of hugs and kisses. 

"Oh! Everyone! It's time!" Rachel cries as out on the street below the start of the countdown reaches their ears. Then suddenly Blaine is pushing through the crowd to gather his fiancé in his arms. 

"Ready to start the new year as fiancés? he grins. 

"More than ready," Kurt smiles back. 

"Three.... Two.... One..." they all yell. "Happy New Year!" 

The cheering continues, along with laughter and popping of champagne corks but Kurt and Blaine are oblivious as they stand there, wrapped in each others arms, still kissing long after everyone has gone back inside. 

"Think we should call them back inside?" Sebastian asks as he watches Blaine's fingers run into Kurt's hair. 

"Nah," Wes shakes his head. "They'll realize soon enough."

"They'll get sick if they stay out there much longer," Rachel worries. 

"They'll get horny before they get sick," Santana says knowledgeably. 

She is right of course, and a loud smack echoes through the room as Kurt stumbles into the glass door, and all anyone can see is his back pressed against it and Blaine's palms either side of his head as they finally break apart with embarrassed smiles and Kurt tugs them back inside. 

"That was quite the show!" Sebastian calls across as Blaine stares at his shoes. "Don't stop on our account."

"Go," Wes tells them softly, putting an arm around both their shoulders. "Shut the door to your room and just...be together..... Quietly," he adds as an afterthought. "We can all tidy up and sort ourselves out. I'll see you in the morning." 

"Thank you Wes," Kurt says with a smile. 

"No worries. Oh! And congratulations...again." 

They lie together in the early hours, sated, happy and sleepy. Blaine rests his head on Kurt's chest as he smooths his hand over Blaine's back, staring at his left hand which he tilts this way and that, watching as the diamonds glint in the moonlight. 

"You surprised me," he says quietly, smiling down as Blaine lifts his head slightly. 

"Good. I guess now we're even- because I don't think I'm ever going to be over the shock of turning around and seeing you on one knee."

"Is funny, isn't it? We both knew marriage was on the cards for us...yet we still caught each other off guard."

"Sneaky ninjas," Blaine says and Kurt smiles as a rumble of laughter resonates through Blaine's chest before they fall silent once more.

"By the way... Rachel knew all along," Blaine says. "Turns out she can keep a secret."

"She knew? Really? Huh."

"You mad that she didn't tell you?"

"Of course not! I'm amazed, but not mad. I wouldn't have wanted to know. Tonight was....wonderful." 

Blaine leans up and kisses Kurt's lips, pushing the hair from his eyes before rubbing their noses together. "Goodnight, gorgeous fiancé."

"I see what you did there," Kurt smiles into the dark. "Very smooth." He nuzzles briefly into Blaine's soft curls. "Goodnight um...old fiancé. No...wait. That doesn't work. Goodnight fiancé man...nope. Um..."

"Just a goodnight will do," Blaine laughs. 

"Goodnight my beautiful old fiancé man whom I love so very much," Kurt settles on before they snuggle close once more to dream of their future together.


	11. Chapter 11

Cold winter turns into spring. The city, which had seemed to be frozen in its own icy clutches suddenly bursts forth anew. People hustle and bustle everywhere, happy and smiling at the feel of warm sunlight on their faces- a stark contrast to cold, dark, snow filled days where the crowds hurry from one place to another, collars pulled tight, heads down against the driving sleet or snow. 

Kurt has a spring in his step too, a lightness and buoyancy that comes with passing his acting and singing assessments with the highest grades in his year...plus the love of a certain dark haired man with honey colored eyes who worships every breath he takes. But behind that happiness is frustration. Musical Theatre is hard. Far more work than he could ever have anticipated, and though he excels in two of his three main subjects, he struggles with dance and is in need of extra tuition. His ballet lesson seems to drag on endlessly as he waits to be dismissed...and to run back into the arms of his lover. He beams when that time finally arrives and he can step outside where his phone lights up with a text from Blaine.

I have news. Good news. Potentially very exciting news. I don't know. Am I rambling? I'm rambling. I'll go.

You always ramble. Or cry. News? Where are you? Can this news be conveyed via text or is it face to face news?

Face to face. I'm on the Blue Line. I'll be home in twenty minutes or so.

Me too. Race you ;)

Kurt makes it first, flinging the balcony doors open to let some fresh air into the apartment while he waits for Blaine to return. He follows shortly after, pink cheeked and breathless from taking the stairs two at a time, too impatient to wait for the elevator. 

"Oh," he pants as he kicks the door closed behind him. 

"Wonderful to see you too," Kurt laughs. He kisses into his hair but pulls back with a grimace. "Ew. You smell of sweaty boy."

"I ran."

"You don't say? I only beat you by a couple of minutes anyway. So, what's this news?"

"First things first. Did you pass dance?"

"Yes, but barely."

"What do you mean by barely? My idea of scraping a pass and yours are two completely different things," Blaine points out as he fetches two sodas from the fridge and hands one to Kurt. 

"That's because you've never had to try and scrape a pass at anything," Kurt tells him. They settle side by side on the couch and Blaine swings his feet onto the coffee table. Kurt immediately bats them away, as is their usual habit, and he accepts them into his lap instead. "I got fifty five, fifty is a pass."

"That's not too bad," Blaine tries.

"It's not terrible I guess. But I need to do better. Musical Theatre is about all three. No director will look at me twice if I can't keep pace with everyone else."

"You're a fabulous dancer, and you and your teachers know it. It's only classical you have trouble with."

"Ugh, I know. But that's really letting me down. If it hadn't been for contemporary and jazz I would have failed the semester."

"So take extra ballet lessons then," Blaine suggests, but Kurt is already shaking his head. 

"When? They run on a Wednesday and Friday, and I work both of those."

"So switch days, or quit work."

"I'm not gonna quit," he snaps, somewhat tersely. "We're supposed to be saving for a wedding." 

"Take private classes on a Saturday then," he tries. 

"Why would I do that? I work until two as it is. If I pick up a ballet class, between that and study we'll never see each other."

"You're not going to improve if you don't put the effort in," Blaine shrugs nonchalantly. But Kurt is already on fire.

"No, you're right. I'm not. It's okay for you, you can pick up any damn instrument you choose and play it off the bat. You don't need to practice, it all comes naturally, and what a wonderful gift that is. I'll just sit here, pathetically failing ballet while you tinkle the ivories and everyone marvels at your genius."

"Woah!" Blaine cries, holding his hands up as he moves his feet off Kurt to sit upright. "Where did that come from? I was trying to help you, Kurt. Jeez. If you feel you want to take extra ballet lessons then I'm fine with you not working, or us not seeing each other on Saturday afternoons for a while. That's all. I was just trying to be a considerate fiancé. Yes, I can play a lot of musical instruments. I've been learning piano and violin since I was three, and I was still only seven when I started guitar and trumpet. Other stuff, like drums, I picked up in college. But no practise? You have got to be kidding me. Hours, Kurt. Days, weeks, months of my life have been spent locked away in one music room or another perfecting a piece. Stoically picking it apart, bar by bar and then carefully building it back up again until I was happy with the outcome. I used to sit at the piano in my parents dining room, listening to my friends playing in the street. But I would barely ever join them. I wanted to play football in high school, but I put music first. I never attended one dalton movie night, because I was studying to pass my music theory exams.  
I can't magically make you good at ballet, Kurt. I can try and help you....but I can only do that if you're willing to help yourself. You're right, if you want any directors to notice you, you need to be at the top of your game. That means no excuses for not consistently trying your best, pushing your boundaries at all times and working as hard as you possibly can. If you want to do this, I mean really do this, you need to put it above all else." 

Kurt lets his head fall back against the couch with a sigh. "I'm sorry. You're right, of course. I hate it when you're right. But you are. And I'm only being a jerk to you because I'm stressed out with it all. You know, some kids on my course are going for auditions already, lining up roles on touring summer productions and I feel so...lame, compared to them."

"Why, though?" Blaine asks as he reaches for his hand. "I've not seen you dance ballet, admittedly, but I have seen you act, and sing...my god can you sing. Your voice is sublime. You could blow them all out the water, I'm sure of it. If you want to audition then do it."

"I want to be a musical star," Kurt says, then smiles as he finds himself blinking back tears. "But I don't know if I'll ever achieve that. I know I can sing. I know I can act. But....who would ever cast me? My voice is too high for most mainstream tenor parts. I don't know where I'd fit. I guess that's always been my cross to bear in life. I just don't fit in."

"You fit in with me," Blaine says kindly, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. Kurt snuggles gratefully into the embrace, happy for the comfort it provides. 

"I'm sorry I was mean."

"It doesn't matter," Blaine whispers as he lets Kurt's soft hair caress his cheek. "I understand. I hate to see you like this though. Please let me help you."

"How?"

"Quit your job. Let me take care of you. Take private classes, one to one."

"Blaine I don't think..."

"Please?"

Kurt looks at him, face full of concern but Blaine looks so earnest, so sincere, that he nods reluctantly. "Okay."

"Really?" Blaine squeezes him tight, placated by feeling he's doing his bit to make Kurt's life that much easier.

"Yes. I'll look into classes and give my notice at the library. But I'm not auditioning for any touring production. If something comes up in Chicago then fine. But I'm not going away from you for weeks on end. I want to be in musicals, but I want to be with you more." 

"Um..."

"Now tell me your news."

"You know what? It's not important." Blaine makes to stand, but Kurt is tugging him back down in an instant, gripping his wrist tightly and refusing to let go. 

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare do this. Tell me now."

"Honestly, Kurt it..."

"No more sex until you do."

"What? You're holding out on me?"

"Damn straight I am." 

"Okay, okay. I'll tell you." 

"Well that took less time than I anticipated," a startled Kurt says. "Though I don't know why I'm surprised. What is it then?"

"I've been invited to audition for the Chicago Symphony Orchestra again," Blaine says, eyes dancing with happiness. "But as a full member this time, not just a cover."

"Blaine!!" Kurt shrieks as he flings himself at him. "Oh my goodness! On the violin? I can't believe you would think I wouldn't want to hear this! This is amazing. Oh wow. Wow!"

"Hold on, slow down," he laughs. "Not the violin, no. Percussion."

"Like drums and stuff?"

"Like drums and stuff?" Blaine imitates. "No! Well....yes. But it's an important role in the orchestra."

"Wouldn't you rather play the violin?"

"Yes, but I'll take what I can get. I figure if I get this then I might have the opportunity to switch later if a vacancy comes up."

"You're gonna do it? You're gonna audition?"

"I'd like to," he begins.

"So do it." 

"It's just.... I'd have to go away. On tours and stuff." 

The statement hangs in the air between them for the longest time. Kurt tries to keep his expression neutral but gives in eventually and lets himself sag with disappointment. Blaine rubs nervously at his neck, wanting to urge Kurt to say something but knowing how irate he was just moments ago, decides not to risk it.

"Okay." Kurt eventually comes to life, forcing a smile as he takes Blaine's hand in his. "Tell me more about that." 

"Um...so the longest they go for is three weeks to Europe, but most are ten to fourteen days. A lot of the members have families, so not everyone goes on every tour. They take a scaled down version and use other musicians if needed. Spouses are welcome to join them, but they have to pay their own travel and half the hotel room cost. Two tours a year are mandatory, those could be in the US, or Europe...anywhere really, but you must participate in two. They pay a basic salary, and any tours you go on after the mandatory ones are paid as extra." 

"Someone's done their homework," Kurt teases gently. "So...what's the basic salary?"

"I would start on a hundred thousand a year."

"Jesus Christ!" Kurt cries as he covers his mouth. "Wow. That's better than I thought. And these extra tours...what do they entail?"

"They could be a tour of the west coast, for example, which lasts a week. Or it could involve flying to Canada for a three night run and then back again. I don't know the exact rate for touring, but I think it's around two thousand a week." 

"This is your dream, isn't it?" Kurt says quietly, but Blaine shakes his head.

"You are my dream. I will never give up fighting for you, Kurt, and if this is going to upset you, or come between us in any way then..."

"You need to do it," Kurt says decisively. "You've always had to travel for work, I knew that about you when we first met. I've just gotten used to having you around all the time because everything is so much more accessible here. But you know what? We'll deal with it. I'll travel with you when I can, and if that's not possible I'll just miss you like crazy instead. We'll always have our phone calls," he says as he trails a finger along Blaine's arm. "Seriously. Go for it. You'd be a fool to turn it down. If we can't handle being parted three or four times a year then we're not as strong as we thought. You've aimed for this all your life, and now is your time."

"I have to get the audition first."

"But you will, because you're Blaine Anderson, handsome, bushy haired fiancé of the fabulous Kurt Hummel and all round perfect musician." 

Blaine looks down, suddenly shy and overwhelmed before he looks up again, looks into Kurt's eyes and says sincerely, "Thank you."

"I love you Blaine, and part of my loving you involves me wanting to see you reach those dreams and aspirations of yours, okay?" 

"I feel bad," he admits as he swipes at his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because you said about touring and how you wouldn't consider being away from me and..." 

"Yeah, for probably a crappy part in a touring production of...of...I dunno, Grease or something. Why would I want to spend six weeks journeying around the midwest doing that when I could be in your arms every night? But if Fiyero was offered to me for a tour of the Arizona desert...or the emcee in the Alaskan revival of Cabaret...then I hope you'd be waving my ass off on that plane with no regrets."

"I would. You know I would."

"Exactly. We are here to support one another." 

"I love you, you know," Blaine scrunches his nose before taking Kurt's face in his hands and kissing him tenderly. "Did you know that I love you?"

"It has been mentioned once or twice," Kurt teases, before kissing him right back. 

*

For the next two weeks Kurt sees very little of Blaine, but hears him plenty. It all starts the day after their discussion, when he arrives home with two studio technicians....and a drum kit. Assuring Kurt he will only play during socially acceptable hours, and that the kit is on loan from the studio and will be returned they day after his audition, Blaine shuts himself away, allegedly to practice, but Kurt prefers to think of it as making an inordinate amount of noise over long periods of time.

The next day Blaine moves in cymbals, a snare drum and a mountain of shakers, triangles and various other things that Kurt doesn't know the names of. But it's fine. He gathers his books and goes to study at Joe's instead, opting to eat dinner there after trying to call Blaine six times and receiving no answer. 

It's on the third day, when the timpani arrive that Kurt loses it. It's a Friday, and he has just returned from his last but one shift at the library, looking forward to curling up with a good book himself. He lies down on the bed to do just that when the door to the bedroom bursts open and Blaine enters...or rather, the feet of an enormous drum enter first, followed by the drum itself and then Blaine, staggering under the weight of it. 

"What the actual fuck is that?" he screeches. 

"Timpani," he puffs. "There's two more to come, but I can only fit them in my car one at a time."

"That's not coming in here. Tell me it's not."

"There's no room anywhere else."

"I thought you were auditioning for non pitched percussion. Timpani is another section, right?"

"Yes, but it said the successful applicant should be proficient in both areas."

"For the love of..." he huffs. "I'll be in the living room...assuming there's not a harp taking up the entire space."

"Are you mad?" Blaine asks nervously. "I don't want you to be mad."

"I'm...no," Kurt says with a sigh. "I'm not mad. How can I be mad at you? I'm just crossing off the days until the audition." He smiles and walks away. "And the instant removal of the fucking drums," he mutters under his breath. 

And suddenly that day is upon them. Kurt has class, but he skips improvisation in favor of staying home and helping Blaine to dress. They settle on the suit Blaine had initially bought for his proposal, deciding that it was classically elegant and understated. Kurt brushes his shoulders as they stand in front of the mirror together, leaning in to kiss his freshly shaved cheek. 

"You look wonderful."

"I'm nervous as hell," Blaine admits softly. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"No." Turning from the mirror he fiddles with the music note cufflinks Kurt had given him for his thirty third birthday. "I mean yes, but you have class."

"I can miss it. It's only my costume elective..."

"Which is your favorite subject and one in which you excel. No," Blaine says, firmer this time. "I'll be fine. You go to class, and then hopefully when you're done I'll be home and ready to take you out to dinner to celebrate." 

"You can do this," Kurt says as he uses his tie to pull him close. "Good luck my darling."

The day drags on endlessly for Kurt. He is completely distracted by the time he sits at his sewing machine and ends up joining a bodice to the skirt he is making in entirely the wrong places and having to unpick the lot. He knows Blaine had a practical audition first, followed by an interview with the board of directors and then he was required to accompany a small group of instruments to an unseen piece of music. He tries to calculate how long all this would have taken, but is unable to come up with any kind of answer to placate his nerves. The endless texts from friends and family don't help either. Santana and Rachel had been on his case all day, and between them, his dad and Blaine's mom, he's not sure he can stand it much more. He is just tidying up scraps of material from his workstation when his phone buzzes with the umpteenth text that day. 

Just finished work, Wes' message reads. I'm not texting B in case he's forgotten to turn his phone off and he's still in there. Any news?

No, not yet. I'm starting to worry now. Who has a five hour audition?

These places are old school. They have to pick the very best so they can be the very best. Don't worry. He's a shoo in, right?

He should be, yes. I'm going home, I'll get him to text you later.

But Blaine is not home when Kurt gets there and he paces the apartment restlessly, unable to concentrate at anything. It is only on his fourth, maybe fifth lap of the place that he notices all the drums have gone, along with the cymbals, triangles and shakers. Running to the closet he sees Blaine's suit hanging there neatly, the cufflinks back in their box and shoes placed back on the rack. Tearing back into the bedroom he reaches for his phone, but the slamming of the front door makes him drop it instantly and run into the living room instead. 

Blaine stands there, leaning heavily against the door, eyes screwed shut tight as he rubs them in the manner of a small child. Kurt takes a tentative step toward him and holds out his hand. 

"Blaine?"

"I didn't get in, Kurt," he says in a small voice. "They didn't want me."


	12. Chapter 12

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs heavily as he rushes forward to take him in his arms. "I'm so sorry." He holds Blaine close and lets him cry into his shoulder, until he pulls back and wipes his eyes, offering Kurt a trembling smile as he holds both his hands. 

"I'll be okay," he tells him. "It really sucks right now, but I'll be okay." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asks. "I know talking isn't your strong point, but it might help a little." 

Blaine nods and allows himself to be led to the couch, settling into the arm Kurt puts around his shoulders. "It didn't go badly," he sniffs quietly. "In fact, it went really well. They were impressed by my answers in the interview, and the sight reading was easy, like ridiculously so. They just said there were stronger candidates, and I guess there's not a lot I can do about that."

"There's really not," Kurt says softly. "I'm just so sad to see you hurting."

"I really wanted to make you proud of me," he whispers as a fresh bout of tears fill his eyes.

"What? Are you crazy? I am immensely proud of you, Blaine. Where do I even start? You left everything behind to take a risk in Chicago just so we could live together. You fill Bourgeois cafe each and every week since January- you have a following who love to listen to you sing. I turn on the tv and when the commercials start, it's your music I hear."

"I know but..."

"But you wanted that, I know honey, I know. But you know, Kendall's commercials are renowned. Everyone can sing them, and that's your doing."

"I still feel like I sold out there," he mutters. 

"Sold out? Writing a few thirty second jingles for a whole load of cash? No. You took a smart career move, Blaine." 

"Whatever did I do to deserve you?" he asks almost reverently as his hand grazes over Kurt's cheek. "You are truly wonderful." 

"Here's what we're gonna do," Kurt says decisively. "You're gonna call Wes, while I make dinner and call the collective parents and insanely annoying siblings and friends. Once all the calls are done we can be left alone to eat our dinner in peace, after which we can talk more if you want to, take a bath, play scrabble- no sulking if you lose- watch tv, a movie...whatever you want. Tomorrow is a new day, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine smiles through his tears. 

"What do you want for dinner then?"

"Hot dogs and French fries?" Blaine asks hopefully.

"Not our usual classy cuisine, but I'll go with it. Actually, I'll do better than that. I'll go down to that place on the corner and get carry out. Maybe pick up some ice cream too?"

"Thank you. You're the best."

"Anything for you," he smiles. "And Blaine? Just so you know? You can bang my drums any time."

He closes the door behind him and walks down the hall, happy to hear Blaine laughing in his wake.

A weary and emotional Blaine looks at the phone in his hand for a few moments, before realising this is his best friend and he actually wants to talk with him, he needs to hear his voice reassuring and comforting him, so he dials and waits.

"Hey! Blaine?" Wes says quickly down the line. "That is Blaine, right? I didn't look at the caller ID."

"Yeah, yeah it's me," he sighs.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Sort of."

"What does sort of mean?" Wes asks with concern.

"Sort of....no. I didn't get it."

"Well that sucks. They obviously don't know a good musician when they see one."

"Given their prestige, I think they probably do. But thank you, that's very sweet of you." 

"You're bummed, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm...I'm..."

"You're not used to failure, are you? Not that this should be seen as that," he rushes on. "This is just...a setback. A minor one at that." 

"I don't know, Wes. I'm just feeling more and more like I've never reached my full potential in life. I spent all that time messing around after college...then...with Luke and all...I kinda just wasted all those years when I should have been building a career."

"You have built a career though," Wes tells him firmly. "You're a very much in demand session musician, and a talented songwriter."

"No one wants my songs," he says quietly. "They just want my irritatingly catchy jingles." 

"Blaine," Wes sighs, "I'm sorry for you, man. I wish I could be there to hug you. But I'm guessing Kurt's cuddles are probably slightly more appealing than mine, anyway."

"Everything sucks, Wes," Blaine moans, and the way in which he ignores Wes' attempts at humor has him worried.

"Blaine? Don't do this. I can't be there to pick you up this time, and it isn't fair to Kurt. Life is harsh sometimes, it gives us crap and we have to deal with it. We can't always get what we want, we can't always be the best in everything, the top of our game."

"I'm not the top in anything."

Resisting the obvious quip about his sex life, Wes' voice comes firm and unyielding down the line. "You are. Don't give me that. You were top in everything at school, except math. You graduated college with the highest GPA in your class. And you know you're the best in the advertising field. They're practically beating down your door since you wrote for Kendall's."

"Big fucking deal!" Blaine cries, beginning to lose his temper. "I never wanted to write jingles, Wes. I wanted to write hit songs or play in a world famous orchestra."

"You wanted to love and be loved, too," Wes reminds him gently. "I'd say you're doing pretty darn well at that."

"I'm not though," he whispers, horrified with himself. "I...I..."

"You still love him, right?" Wes cuts right over Blaine's stammering. "Tell me you still love him."

"God yes! Hell, did you really think I could ever stop loving him?"

"No, but I'm kinda worried about you right now bud, please tell me what you're trying to say."

"I can't provide for him Wes," he says, voice cracking with emotion. 

"What?"

"Financially."

"Explain to me."

"Kurt has quit his job. Partly at my insistence, or suggestion, anyhow. He needs to take extra ballet classes and his schedule is crazy. It makes sense for him not to work. I told him to take private classes, I figured he'd get more help one to one..... Wes, did you know that ballet lessons are crazy expensive?"

"Yes Blaine."

"Oh. I didn't. I did not know that. You see, the thing is.... The orchestra salary was set to be a hundred grand starting. I was arrogant and naive, Wes. I thought that job was mine. So what's a few private ballet classes?"

"Ballet classes are expensive, sure. But a hundred grand?"

"I cleared my books," he whispers, shame faced. "I've only kept on Kendall's. I have nothing scheduled. I mean, I can pick up session work but it's the jingles that pay the big bucks.... And I told three lots of execs in the past two weeks that I wasn't interested in taking their projects on."

"Um.. Okay," Wes says, thinking on his feet, "so..."

"That's not all."

"Oh."

"My tenant wants out."

"Of your house?"

"Yes." 

"Sheesh. You gonna be okay?"

"Day to day...just about. But I'll now be paying mortgage and rent on this place...saving for this wedding....and you know, Kurt's clothes..."

"Then you have to tell him. He's not a kid anymore Blaine. He's a grown man. He'll understand. You're a couple, a togetherness." 

"I can't."

"Blaine Anderson so help me god if you don't man up I am putting Santana on the first plane from New York and I am getting in my car and together we are gonna come kick your ass!" 

"Don't yell."

"Don't tell me not to yell!" Wes shouts, finally losing his cool. "I'll yell if I damn well please. You're engaged, for fucks sake, and yet you still feel this never ceasing urge to protect Kurt from life like he's... Like he's some kind of kid," he finishes quietly.

"I want to provide for him though," Blaine says through his tears. "I feel like I should. I want to give him the best of everything in life because he deserves it more than anyone I know."

"No Blaine," Wes says wearily. "He deserves a loving, honest, open and trustworthy fiancé. An equal. A partner. He has a dad, he doesn't need another one."

"I don't want him to be disappointed in me."

"Blaine, he's going to be far more disappointed if you keep all this to yourself. Trust me. Just talk to him."

"Yeah," comes the quiet response.

"Is that a yes? Promise me you will?"

"I promise I will."

"Good boy," Wes laughs. "I gotta go. Love you, buddy."

"You too." 

But Blaine doesn't talk that night, or the next, or even the one after that. Kurt assumes he's still hurting from the failed audition, and treats him with kid gloves, fussing over him, giving endless cuddles and reassurance and constantly reminding him that he thinks he's rather marvellous. At the weekend he drags Blaine from the apartment to walk through Lincoln park where he keeps up an endless monologue about anything and everything he can think of. It is a desperate ploy to fill the awkward silence but eventually he can stand it no longer and drags him to a nearby bench. 

“What’s up?” he asks with a sigh. 

“You know what’s up.”

“Blaine...I know not getting the job sucked, but this is days on now. I’m not trying to tell you to get over it but...”

“Get over it?”

“Well, yes. I mean, it's fine to feel upset but this is our weekend together. It’ll be Monday before we know it and we’ll be back to the humdrum routine.”

“You’re right,” Blaine smiles brightly. “As always. I'm sorry. I’ll do better.”

“You don't need to do better, I’m happy to talk about it with you but can we just smile while we’re doing it?”

“I don't need to talk about it. I need for us to have fun,” Blaine says as he tugs him to his feet. “Tell me what you’d like to do and we’ll do it.”

“Okay,” Kurt smiles happily, the tense moment forgotten. “Um...Oh! I know. I want a spring jacket.”

“A...A what?”

“A spring jacket. It’s getting warmer, but there’s still a bit of a chill in the air when I walk to class in the morning. So...”

“You have like...six jackets that I can immediately bring to mind that would be fit for this purpose.”

“I know, but there’s this one in Macy's which is adorable. And it would go so well with those green pants I bought from Brooks Brothers the other day.”

“You bought green pants?” Blaine asks, his heart sinking. 

“Oops!” Kurt laughs. “I forgot I hadn’t mentioned them. Yes I did, they were too nice to leave in the store.”

Three hours later they return, Kurt thrilled with his new jacket, boots and sweater and Blaine feeling more concerned than ever. When they retire to bed that evening Kurt tries to initiate things but Blaine kisses his forehead gently and tells him he’s tired. 

“Okay,” he nods understandingly. “You’re alright though, yes? No...problems?”

“I know what you’re getting at,” Blaine replies stiffly. “And no. Everything is fine.”

“It’s been a while.”

“It's been a week.”

“It’s been seventeen days, Blaine,” Kurt says, more than a little hurt. “You haven’t been near me since the night you got called to audition.”

“I’ve been near you,” he huffs, in agitation. “I’m near you now.”

“We’re cuddling.”

“Which is just as important,” he points out. “I love you, Kurt. I’m just tired, that’s all. You forget I’m not as young as you.”

“You’re hardly collecting your pension though, and christ knows we’ve had sex four times a day before now and you’ve not complained about tiredness. All we did was walk around a few shops.”

“Kurt, I really don’t want to go to sleep on an argument,” Blaine sighs. Pushing away from him he rolls onto his stomach and fiddles with the pillow as he talks. “If you really want to have sex, we will.”

“Great,” he mutters sarcastically as he turns his back to Blaine. “How can anyone resist that?”

“Kurt please.” Reaching out to touch his shoulder, Blaine’s voice cracks as he speaks. “I want to, I’m just tired. I’ve had a lot on my mind and I’ve not been sleeping well. Let me rest and I promise to wake you up in the morning, okay?”

Kurt turns back, hands tucked under his chin and eyes bright in the darkness. “By wake up do you mean...?”

“I mean I’ll wake you up in my own special way.”

“Okay,” he whispers as he smiles softly. “I’m sorry for moaning. I just want to feel that closeness to you again. I miss that.”

“I know, gorgeous boy,” Blaine murmurs as he holds Kurt close once more and swallows down the bile he can feel rising in his throat. “I know.”

Two weeks later and Kurt starts to worry. Not only is Blaine withdrawn and tetchy, he sleeps like the dead and seems to have no energy to do anything. He speaks with Burt, who rightly assumes something is bothering Blaine, but he doesn't know what it could be. 

“You’ve just got to ask him,” Burt says. 

“I have,” Kurt says exasperatedly. “But he just keeps telling me he’s bummed about the audition. But that’s not normal, is it? To be that upset nearly three weeks on?”

“I know it meant a lot to him...but no. I don't think it is. It sounds like it’s something more. Have you spoken to Mike or Sara?”

“No. I guess I might have to. I text Santana, but she said she hasn’t heard from him in nearly a month- which is very strange as those two usually text back and forth.”

“What about Wes?”

“Yeah, he’s my next port of call. Blaine’s just...not himself. He keeps forgetting things too. The other day I asked him to pick up the books I had ordered from Borders. He told me they weren’t in, then when I showed him the email they had sent me he said they were in but he couldn't carry them. It was only three books though, dad. So he eventually did it, then grumbled and groused about me spending a hundred dollars on books- like it was a big deal. He always, without fail, transfers money each week to our wedding fund, but it’s not been added to for nearly four weeks now. He hasn’t picked up his dry cleaning...the list seems to go on.”

“Well I think talking with Wes would help- even if it’s only as a sounding board. He knows Blaine much better than I do. But...I don't know. Maybe get him to see a doctor?”

“Okay", Kurt sighs. “I’ll call Wes tomorrow.”

It turns out he doesn't need to though, as Wes gets to him first- calling right after he’s finished work and luckily Kurt has just arrived home to an empty apartment. 

“Hey Wes. I was gonna call you.”

“Really? For the same reason I guess,” he clears his throat and continues. “Uh...Kurt...this is awkward for me.... But I love you.”

“Steady on,” Kurt laughs. 

“Very funny. Hear me out. I love you, and I love Blaine. I don’t want you to feel like I’m criticizing you or saying you're not looking after him, or judging you in any way at all, because I’m really not.” Pausing, he sucks a deep breath. “Blaine is falling apart, and I think he’s about one day away from cracking open the whiskey.” 

“I know,” he sighs, slumping into the couch and then to his horror he starts to cry. 

“Kurt? Bud? You okay?” Wes’ concern only seems to add to Kurt’s tears as they flow freely and he swipes at his nose with his sleeve.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers feeling ashamed. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wes tells him stoically. “Um...Are you and Blaine fighting?”

“No,” he sniffs tearfully. “We’re not fighting at all. He’s just refusing to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering him, he’s in bed before ten most nights and he seems to have forgotten that I have a body under all these layers.”

“Oh. That again.”

“Yes, that again. Waking me up with a quick blow job is hardly a substitute for love making,” he snaps. “Sorry Wes. I know that’s TMI but...”

“It’s okay,” he says kindly. “I understand.”

“Wes, I hate to ask you this but...do you know what's wrong with him?” 

“I do, yes,” he sighs heavily. 

“Is it me?”

“No!” Wes’ reply is immediate and definite. “No, and you mustn’t think that at all. It’s not you. He loves and adores you as much as ever. He’s just...Ugh. This is really hard for me. I don’t want to betray his confidence...”

“It’s okay,” a defeated Kurt says. “I understand.”

“No...I feel I have to. Because otherwise this is gonna drag on and on, and both our main concern is Blaine’s well being and your relationship, right?”

“Right,” Kurt agrees, “But I don't want to put you in an awkward position.”

“It’s not. It’s quite easy for me, because whatever else happens, I will not see Blaine like he was before. It nearly happened when you went to New York and we just about avoided a full on crisis. It can’t happen again.”

“Whatever it is, I have to wonder why he feels he can tell you and not me,” Kurt blurts out. “No offense. I know you’re his closest friend but...”

“But you’re his partner. I know. And I tried to get him to tell you. Honestly I don’t think he would have told me face to face. I think it was only because it was over the phone. And I’ve only spoken with him once since. It’s not like he’s calling me and telling me all his thoughts, because he’s not telling anyone anything- in fact he yelled at me to leave him alone the last time we spoke.”

“I didn't know that.”

“Kurt the main reason he hasn’t told you is because he doesn't want you to view him as a failure. He feels like he let you down badly by failing that audition, and he doesn't want to add to that.”

“You know I don’t think that though, right?”

“I know that. But Blaine has a hard time believing anyone can love him the way you do, and be proud of him no matter what.”

“So...”

“He’s broke, Kurt. I don’t know exactly what he was thinking but he kinda thought he was a shoe in for the job- as we all did I guess. And he quit a lot of his work, or turned down new stuff thinking he wouldn’t need it. He has this...this...old fashioned view that as the older man he needs to take care of you, and lavish anything and everything on you. I’ve argued against this but...”

“He’s broke? Is he in debt?”

“I really don’t know, Kurt. You’d have to ask him yourself, I’m sorry.”

“Oh I will.”

“Don’t be mad at him,” Wes panics, hearing the rising anger in Kurt’s voice. 

“I think I’ve every right,” Kurt snaps. “Does he think I’m a fucking child? I told him I didn’t need to stop work. I told him I’d get a summer job. Why does he feel the need to shelter me? We’re supposed to be equals.”

“I know, Kurt. But he’s just...dapper, gentlemanly Blaine. His parents instilled certain values in him I guess. I love them enormously but they are incredibly old fashioned in their married roles. Sara’s never worked, she’s just kept house for Mike and her boys while her husband goes out and earns money to buy her dresses and keep them in a big, expensive house.”

“Fuck that shit.”

“Well...” Wes can’t help but laugh. “It works for them, I guess. But no, it won’t work for you two. You need to force him to talk, Kurt.”

“Oh I will Wes, I will.”

Kurt becomes more livid with rage the longer he waits for Blaine’s return. Eventually deciding this is not going to be conducive to good talking, he packs a small overnight bag and sends a text. 

“I’ve gone to sleep at Joe’s. My phone will be off but I will return in the morning and we will be talking. Rest assured that I still love you, Blaine. I’m just angry right now and I’d prefer to talk when I’m feeling a lot more calm and rational. Don’t do anything dumb, please.”


	13. Chapter 13

The loud slam of the front door causes Blaine to startle in his chair. He has been sitting at the kitchen table since he arrived home late last night, determined to wait up in case Kurt changed his mind. He didn’t of course, and at some point Blaine must have drifted into a fretful sleep, head resting on the kitchen table. But he woke well before dawn and sat staring at the as yet unopened bottle of whiskey before giving in as the sun came up, and pouring himself a large measure.

"We have no money," Blaine says as he hears Kurt’s footsteps entering the room.

"So you're buying whiskey? Real smart Blaine."

"I only had one!" he exclaims as Kurt puts the cap back on the bottle and climbs on the counter to shove it atop the cabinets- right to the back where he knows full well Blaine can't reach. "Hey!"

"Even so, it’s seven in the morning. I know you, Blaine. And I won't put up with it. So. No money. Care to explain?" He stands, leaning against the counter with his arms folded and lips pulled taut. He looks tired, and Blaine wants to usher him to bed and tuck him up tight...but he can tell what Kurt’s response would be to that suggestion. 

“I’ve let you down so badly,” he whispers. 

“Why? Have you gambled? Been frivolous? Borrowed from a loan shark?”

“No! No, none of those things.” Blaine cries. 

“Then tell me.”

"My tenant has left,” he says with a heavy sigh. “So I have to cover the mortgage from my salary. Which would be fine, but I had kinda scaled back on my session work thinking- stupidly- that I'd be with the symphony. Then you enrolled in ballet class..which is also fine," he adds hurriedly. "But I’m also still paying off my credit card from buying your engagement ring ...it's just things are...tight I guess. I’m not completely broke,” he says desperately. “I can still afford the rent and utilities but...but there’s like...nothing left after that.”

"Why the hell didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Because I was hoping things would change,” Blaine says, eyes filling with tears as he notices Kurt is crying. “And I don't want to let you down. I’m thirty four years old and I can’t manage my own money, what must you think of me now? I want to take care of you. I want you to have the best in life, always. Because you deserve it. I wanted to take you on vacation this summer, I wanted you to be able to choose the best designer to make your wedding tux, I wanted..."

"I'll get a job,” Kurt announces, pushing away from the counter and beginning to pace.

"No! Please don't do that. Please."

"Blaine, listen to me,” Kurt snaps as he whirls around to face him. “I don't get why you always think you have to be the hunter gatherer, the big cheese. Honestly, I get that you want to look after me, and that's incredibly sweet, but sometimes I feel like you want a nineteen fifties housewife rather than an equal. I was not made to be subservient to anyone, Blaine, and yes, you're older but that doesn't put you in charge. I am more than capable of looking after me, of us." He pauses, running a hand through his hair before he kneels in front of Blaine, gathering his hands in his and speaking softly.

"I'm not mad that our finances aren't great, I'm hurt that you didn't say anything. I don't have to take those classes, I can take the ones at college which are free. We don't need a vacation, we can drive to Lima for a few days, or even to New York to visit Santana and Rachel if we really feel the need to get away, but other than that I can do what most other college kids are doing this summer, I can get a job. I can work and earn money just like you do. It may not be as much, but it will be something." 

"I'm so sorry," Blaine whispers as two tears make their way down his cheeks. 

"It's okay," Kurt tells him. "We'll get through this." Reaching out he brushes a stray curl gently from Blaine's forehead. "Together, though. It's not your money troubles, they're ours. And you know what? It's only money."

"But you like to buy stuff," Blaine points out.

"I do spend quite a lot, don't I?" Kurt smiles ruefully.

"You do, yes. But so do I, or I did, anyway."

"But Blaine? We don't have to. I have a tendency to buy books I could borrow from the library, just because I like the smell and feel of new paper. And we have a large walk in closet that's rammed full, I don't need any more clothes. As for the wedding tuxes....they will be made by the best designer, because I'm going to make them myself, and I'd decided that long before any of this came to light." 

"You're pretty awesome," Blaine says, managing a weak smile.

"And so are you," Kurt says firmly. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, it was a set of unavoidable circumstances- a run of bad luck which has left us struggling a little bit. Most of the country is the same right now. The world, even. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and we'll be back on our feet in no time."

"I love you so much," Blaine chokes out as he half laughs, half sobs in relief.

"And I love you too. But you have to talk to me. That's what worries me more than the money. Your inability, or reluctance to tell me what's bothering you. These rings are supposed to say we love each other enough to commit to be together for the rest of our lives, Blaine. How can I love each and every part of you if you won't let me in? I need to see what's on your heart, I need you to voice your thoughts, your insecurities...so I can help you, yes. But also so I can know you, and love you as much as I possibly can."

"I know. And I do try, really."

"I know you do, and you're getting better. But like I said, I am your partner. Your equal. Yes, I need looking after, but so do you. We're supposed to do that for each other. So let me, okay?" 

"But..." he starts, and Kurt laughs as he holds Blaine's head in his hands. 

"Yes Kurt, of course Kurt," he says as he moves Blaine's jaw up and down, imitating his voice. "I promise to tell you everything, Kurt."

"Stop it," Blaine laughs as he pushes his hands away. "Okay, I promise." 

"Good." Leaning forward, still on his knees, he winds his arms around Blaine's neck. "Now kiss me, you fool. Kisses are always free."

Blaine traces his fingers along Kurt's jaw slowly, smiling at the scratchy feel of his light stubble before he moves his hand to the base of his neck, fingers just sliding into his soft chestnut hair. Smiling, he inclines his head and brings his lips to Kurt's in a featherlight touch. He pulls away and watches as Kurt's eyes flutter closed, his lips pursed as he chases after the kiss before giving in and kissing him again, opening his mouth wider this time and letting their tongues join together. Kurt inhales sharply through his nose, as if this is what he needs, has been waiting for. Surging forward, he stands, never breaking the kiss as he falls into Blaine's lap and moans into his mouth. 

"Wow," Blaine breathes when they finally part. "That was..."

"Kiss me again," Kurt demands, so he does. And they keep kissing; on and on until Blaine's hands are up and under Kurt's sweater, holding him tight and revelling in the touch of smooth skin and the taste of Kurt's mouth on his. Coming to his senses he pulls away, smiling up as Kurt looks down at him with wide, questioning eyes. 

"There's something else I'd like to apologize for," he explains.

"You don't need to, but okay." 

"I do, because it's important to us as a couple. I'd like to say sorry for...um...I don't know why I'm embarrassed," he laughs shyly as he rubs the back of his neck. "I'm sorry I haven't made love to you for so long," he rushes out as his cheeks flush scarlet.

"We've done stuff," Kurt tries.

"I've given you a few quick blowjobs," Blaine corrects. "You and I both know that's a poor substitute for our usual ways. And I know you know something is wrong," he carries on, holding up a hand to silence Kurt's protest, "because you haven't tried to initiate anything with me since that night I got defensive. You deserve better than that. I guess...I guess it's like...some people get stressed and it affects their appetite. Well...it affects my appetite for sex. But it's really important for you to know that it's not you."

"I know that," Kurt says calmly. "But I'm glad you said something. This is progress. Because now I know that if you're stressed you're not going to want sex as a distraction technique," he jokes. 

"It's just...whenever I start to get aroused it's like there's this nagging in the back of my brain telling me I shouldn't be, because I've got problems x,y and z to deal with and then...then it's gone and I can't think of anything else except those problems. I still want you."

"Blaine, I know," he says as he cuddles him close. "Like I said, we've done stuff. I've not gone without."

"Yes...but you also know I like to worship every inch of you," he smiles up at him. "The feeling of pressing my naked body to yours is...well there's nothing to better it, to be honest. That closeness, the time we take to be with one another."

"I do miss it," Kurt admits quietly. "And not just the act itself. I miss the intimacy, the loving tender touches that help us to connect with one another." 

"You know..." Blaine starts as he allows his hands under Kurt's sweater once more. "It's still early. Do you have any plans for today?"

"My plans involve skipping my history of theatre class and hopefully spending the entire day naked with you," he smiles.

"You don't have any other classes? No dance?"

"Nope. Our teacher is out sick so they told us to practice the routine in our own time. Which I did last night with Joe."

"Did you tell Joe....?" Blaine starts nervously.

"No. I told him we were potentially fighting and I didn't want us to be angry at each other and say things we might regret. He didn't ask any questions. We went to the dance studios to rehearse, then we got pizza and watched a boys movie with his roommate."

"Their idea of a boys movie and ours probably differ slightly," Blaine laughs. "What did you watch?"

"Um...Die Hard?"

"Ooh. They're good. What number?"

"There's more than one?"

"Cute," Blaine laughs. 

"So...did you have any plans for today?" Kurt asks him.

"I guess I need to call the studio, book in for as much work as I can. I could also try Nashville if you don't mind me potentially going away a few times."

"I don't mind, but can you call tomorrow? Let's just spend today...bonding."

"Bonding? Or bondage?"

"Either, or," Kurt grins as he leans down to kiss him fiercely. "Just take me to bed and worship me, please." He yelps as Blaine stands with him in his arms.

"Right here, right now," he grins back wickedly as he sits Kurt on the table and steps between his legs, crowding him backwards until he's nearly lying down, just slightly propped on his elbows and in complete shock as Blaine climbs on the table and straddles him. Kissing him heatedly, Blaine tugs on his hair, trailing his lips down to the pale expanse of Kurt's neck, nipping lightly while one hand runs over his toned stomach, feeling the muscles flutter under his touch.

Kurt sputters to life then, responding to Blaine's touch by thrusting his hips upward, moaning when he feels Blaine's fingers dipping into the back of his pants, skimming over the very top of his ass cheeks. Fumbling with Blaine's fly, he keeps one hand splayed out on the table, holding him up as he manages to work the fly open one handed and reach inside.

"Oh Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna last," Blaine moans as he works his pants and briefs off at lightning speed before tearing at Kurt's clothes in a frenzy. Finally he pulls his own t-shirt over his head and pushes Kurt back so he's lying flat on the table. Pressing himself on top, they both groan in pleasure at the feel of their bodies together at last, hard cocks lying flush against each other. When Blaine lifts his head to kiss Kurt once more he thrusts unwittingly into Kurt's groin causing them both to cry out and Kurt to dig his nails into Blaine's shoulders. And suddenly it becomes all about chasing that elusive release as they grind against one another desperately. It is dry and rough almost to the point of being painful, but the more aroused they become the more their precome mixes together, making them both slick as Kurt hooks one leg around Blaine's waist to draw him tighter against him. 

"Close," he manages to get out but Blaine can't even form words as they come at the same time, bodies rocking together as they hold each other tightly, their heartbeats hammering in their chests. Kurt sinks back against the table, panting for breath but smiling as Blaine peppers his face with sweet kisses.

"I'm all sweaty," he protests weakly.

"My favorite kind of Kurt," Blaine grins as he licks a strip along his collar bone.

"Well I know that's bull because during the course of our relationship you've told me that fresh from the tub, sleepy, excited, angry, tipsy, possessive, shy and embarrassed Kurt are all your favorites."

"That's because you're my favorite," Blaine says, kissing him lightly before hopping from the table to fetch tissues. "So, I apologized for not taking the time to worship every inch of you," he says with a smile as he cleans Kurt up, "then I go and tear your clothes off, grind against you and come in seconds." He looks up, embarrassed. "Sorry. Again."

"Ha!" Kurt sits and wraps his arms around his neck. "You certainly don't need to be sorry for that. That was just what we needed. Now you can worship every inch of me, and then I will return the favor."

"Now?"

"Go on Blaine, you can do it," Kurt laughs as he kisses his forehead. "I'm sure those old bones still have some life in them," he teases. 

Blaine stands, hands on hips and stares him down. "Are you making fun of me, Hummel?"

"Me?" Kurt asks innocently as he climbs from the table. "Never. I was taught to respect my elders."

"Mmmhmm," Blaine nods. "You should. Or I'll be forced to chase you."

"At your age? Exercise can be dangerous later in life, old man," Kurt says with a laugh which turns into a squeal when Blaine's eyes darken with mischief and he lunges toward him. Kurt tears naked through the apartment, diving over the back of the couch as Blaine follows hot on his heels. He gives a yell of surprise as Kurt runs across the coffee table, hopping onto a small side table and dodging Blaine's grabby hands before leaping gracefully across the room and heading to the music room.

Laughing loudly, Blaine follows, grinning smugly as he advances and corners Kurt, who tries to wrestle away from him.

"No! No!" he cries, locking his fingers with Blaine's and trying to keep his hands away. 

"I need to teach you a lesson," Blaine grins, then suddenly twists, grabbing Kurt around his waist and hoisting him over his shoulder. "Bad boy," he says with a sharp smack to Kurt's butt as he carries him from the room. 

"Ow! Where are you taking me, Blaine? What are you doing?....No!" he cries as he is dumped unceremoniously in the shower and Blaine turns the cold, pounding spray onto him. "Freezing, freezing, FREEZING!!" Kurt yells as he tries to cower in the corner. 

"Hot, hot, hot," Blaine says as he turns the dial to warm and clouds of steam fill the bathroom. Stepping under the spray, he takes Kurt's wrists and pins them above his head, against the cold tiles as he kisses him deeply. "So hot," he murmurs again. And this time he takes his time to work his way over all of Kurt's body, kissing, touching, tasting before washing him gently, shaking his head whenever Kurt tries to touch him in return. "I want to do this for you," he whispers as he lathers shampoo into Kurt's hair. "You can return the favor in a moment."

"Who says I want to?" Kurt huffs jokingly as he moves aside for Blaine to stand under the spray. "I was thinking more along the lines of hot sex." 

But he washes him lovingly, ending at his toes before kissing his way slowly back up Blaine's body until they're eye to eye once more. "I should have done the kissing first," he grimaces. "My mouth tastes of soap."

"I wanna taste," Blaine says pulling him close so his tongue can explore. "Yeah, you taste of soap. But you're fucking gorgeous."

"Potty mouth."

"I know." They fall silent then, giving into their desires as their hands roam and tease until Blaine is braced against the shower wall, spray pounding against his back as Kurt pushes into him, holding his hips tight. The steamy bathroom is filled with the sound of wet skin slapping together and the blissful moans of pleasure from both men until Kurt comes hard, cock throbbing inside Blaine's heat, who follows soon after.

"Holy fuck I think you've killed me," Blaine says as he sinks to the cold floor. 

"I think we should take a nap," Kurt tells him, reaching out his hand for Blaine to pull himself up. "Ready for more later."

"More?" Blaine asks, gratefully accepting the towel Kurt holds out for him. "Not more. I can't." 

"You always say that, and then before you know it you're on all fours begging for my cock in your ass."

"Um..." Blaine stands in shocked silence, wincing as he feels himself trying to get hard once more. "Wow."

"Told ya!" Kurt laughs over his shoulder as he heads into the bedroom. They don't bother with clothes but crawl happily under the covers where Blaine rests his head on Kurt's chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and sighing happily. 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry for taking off last night. I hope you know that I wasn't thinking of leaving you or anything."

"I know," he reassures.

"I just.... I was angry....not about the situation, but because you hadn't spoken with me. I was hurt you had told Wes and not me, to be perfectly honest, and I didn't want to wait for you to come home and for us to end up in a huge fight. I didn't want to say or do anything either of us would regret."

"I understand that," Blaine says, shifting so he can look into his eyes. "And- since we're being honest- I'd be hurt if you talked with Rachel about something big and not with me. Which is why I'll try and get better. The thing is, throughout the years it's always been Wes who picks me up,and I guess I'm kind of reliant on that." 

"I don't want you to feel you can't talk to him about stuff," Kurt says quickly. "I know that your friendship extends beyond that of just best friends from school."

"It does. But my bond with you is the most special thing I have, and I never want to lose that. To be blunt, I did think about telling you. But you were so good about cheering me up after the audition, so wonderfully sweet and caring and I just didn't want to hurt you like that. Then there was the simple fact that Wes was a voice over the phone...whereas you look at me with your eyes and...."

"Yes, I do have them, Blaine."

"Haha," Blaine says dryly. "You know what I mean, I know you do because you tell me it's the same for you."

"It is." 

"I really am sorry, Kurt."

"And I really do forgive you, Blaine." He smiles as Blaine laughs and shakes his head before snuggling down once more. 

Blaine wakes first a few hours later, stretching after the most contented sleep he's known in weeks. He takes himself quietly from the bed, pulling on a pair of shorts before moving to the living room where he sends several emails to previous clients and studios stating that he is available for work with immediate effect. He decides to make coffee, seeing as though it's past noon, for them it's really the morning. Piling toast onto a plate, he loads a tray with everything and heads back to the bedroom, unable to resist kissing Kurt's bare backside where it peeks deliciously from under the duvet. 

"Told you you'd be horny," Kurt croaks as he cracks one eye open. "Do I smell coffee?"

"You do. Coffee and toast for my beautiful fiancé," Blaine grins, kissing Kurt's cheek as he props himself up against the pillows. "My god you're adorable when you've just woken up."

"You're staring," Kurt says as he reaches for the toast, but he's secretly thrilled, and smiles to himself at the way in which his heart beats fast in his chest. "You've still got it," he laughs quietly, almost disbelievingly.

"Got what? Who has?"

"You. You can still make me feel like we did when we very first met. Like a giddy fifteen year old who was just discovering what it was like to be admired, to be wanted. Who discovered what it was like to feel." 

"Even though I'm so incredibly old?" he teases.

"I didn't upset you, did I? Earlier?" 

"No! I told you that before. Stop worrying. I love that we tease one another."

"You're all happy again," Kurt acknowledges as it becomes his turn to stare. "I like that."

"I'm feeling so much more positive. I think...no. I know we will get through this. And hopefully I'll get another tenant soon. That's the biggest thing really. If it wasn't for that...and the ten thousand dollar engagement ring- we'd be fine."

"The...Blaine....what?!" Kurt shrieks. "You did not!"

"I did," he shrugs. "I had saved for half of it but then I saw that one and I couldn't resist. But you know what? Someday these rings won't be ours anymore, they'll be passed to our daughter or son. Heirlooms," he says as he admires Kurt's left hand. 

"That makes me sad. Because it's talk of us dying."

"It will happen one day."

"I know, but even so. I don't like to think of my life without you, or vice versa." 

"Then I'll live until I'm a hundred and fifteen," Blaine says decisively. "And when you're ready, we'll go together." 

"Fool."

"Fool for you."

They stay that way for the rest of the day, only emerging from bed to make food or use the bathroom. At some point late in the afternoon, when they have slumped back underneath the covers and are curled on their sides staring into one another's eyes, Kurt leans forward and kisses Blaine's lips ever so softly. Fluttering heartbeats pick up pace once more, as slowly their kisses build. Eventually, when the sun has long since disappeared from the sky and the moon has come up, Blaine spoons himself behind Kurt and pushes gently inside, bringing them both toward their third orgasm of the day. No words are spoken during or after- except for one simple, whispered "I love you" from Blaine as he kisses behind Kurt's ear before they both fall deeply asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

"I have a job!" Kurt announces eagerly as he strides through the door two weeks later. Rolling his eyes fondly, he follows the sound of the piano when he receives no reply, entering the music room to find Blaine, head thrown back and eyes closed as he immerses himself in the hauntingly beautiful piece of music he is playing. The lack of response comes from the headphones over his ears, and Kurt can hear the strains of accompanying strings and drums. He waits, leaning on the end of the piano until the last few notes die away and Blaine slumps forward on the bench slightly.

"Ahem."

"Ahh!" Blaine startles, his eyes wide as he looks up to find Kurt watching him. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to watch you playing beautifully. You're amazing."

"It's porn for me," he says with a flush. "When no one else is around this is what I do."

"No shame in that."

"No shame in porn either, I guess," Blaine grins. "You know....somewhere there are a few dvd's."

"I'm well aware of where they are," Kurt smiles. "But the last time we put one on it ended up playing to no one. Anyway, I didn't come home for a discussion about porn. I have a job," he says proudly.

"You do? Where? When? Tell me," Blaine says, pushing the bench back and patting the space next to him. 

"Lincoln Park are running a theatre day camp for kids during the summer. Joe and I got jobs as musical theatre counselors."

"Small children en masse scare you," Blaine points out. 

"I know, but the pay is really good, I'll be with Joe, plus I finish at three every day with the weekends off. And I'm kinda hoping they'll be there because they want to be there, rather than just regular day camp where they've gone just for something to do. We'll see. Either way, it's a great thing to put on my resume. And we do a little show at the end."

"Cute," Blaine smiles. "So how old are the kids?"

"Between five and fourteen. They're split into groups and we have four sessions a day. The kids move from one group to another, drama, dance, musical theatre and backstage."

"It sounds cool. I wanna go," he pouts making Kurt laugh. 

"Maybe- if you're good- I'll score you tickets for the end of season show."

"Thank you. So Joe isn't going home for the summer?"

"No. I don't think he really likes it there. I mean, he likes his family but he has four sisters, and the eldest is only nine."

"What was he, a mistake?"

"No," Kurt laughs, smacking his arm. "Well actually, yes. His mom was only eighteen when she had him, the girls are from a second marriage. Joe doesn't see his dad, but his step dad is okay. He just says it's noisy and cramped. He doesn't like kids."

"He doesn't like kids, you don't like more than two at a time, max. Yeah, you'll make great camp counselors."

"I'm sure it's a prerequisite to the job," Kurt smiles. 

"I'm sorry you're having to do this," Blaine says, turning serious. 

"Hey. No. Don't be, okay? Don't do this."

"But I..."

"No," Kurt says firmly. "This will be fun. This will be an experience which Joe and I will look back on and laugh about in ten years time when we're worn down with kids of our own and we realize how easy it actually was to manage thirty eight year olds yet we can't control one toddler."

"I don't have an answer for that."

"Good." Kurt smiles as he kisses his lips. "That means I win."

"You always do. What do you want for dinner"

"Pizza," comes Kurt's immediate response. "Oh. But we said no takeout."

"We could make pizza?"

"Ooh yes! Let's do that. It reminds me of the first time you told me you loved me." He makes to leave the room but Blaine stays seated on the piano bench, a wide smile on his face. "What?"

"Nothing. I mean, I hadn't forgotten about it but I just... It's nice to take those memories out the box and admire them every now and then." He walks over to him, cupping his cheek sweetly. "My heart was pounding in my chest, I was struggling to remember how to breathe and I was so nervous," he laughs softly. "I thought I had upset you in some way and then you told me you were worried about the bedroom stuff... And just like that, I told you. Sitting there, on my porch swing. It just felt so natural. When all along I'd been so worried."

"So you planned to tell me?"

"Oh yes. I knew. I'd probably known for a lot longer than I actually admitted to myself, but I knew. I knew I had fallen for you big time, and nothing before or since could ever compare. I also knew that there would never be another for me. Even if you had left me at some point....I don't know, I guess I might have dated again but I certainly knew I'd never fall in love again. I'm a once in a lifetime kinda guy. There's one man for me, one true love, one marriage." 

"I want to squeal at your words, but I'm aware that we're standing very close together and my noise may cause your ears to bleed. So I'll tell you this instead. I remember, that very first encounter in the Lima Bean....I remember looking at you....you were crouched down, holding the back of my chair as we talked and I remember thinking I could fall in love with you, if given half a chance. And I did. And I kept falling more and more each day until suddenly here we are, three years later...and I don't think I'll ever stop falling in love with you." He leans in and kisses Blaine's lips softly, resting their foreheads together. "You're crying," he says with a small laugh. "You..."

"Always cry," Blaine finishes for him. "I know."

"It's just another thing I love about you. I also love watching your hands as you work the pizza dough," he smiles as he takes Blaine by the hand and leads him to the kitchen. "So get to it."

"You just like it, or you like it, like it?" Blaine asks as he takes the ingredients from the cupboards.

"For some strange reason it's incredibly erotic," Kurt admits as he flushes pink. "I don't know...it's just your hands are so...manly." 

Blaine laughs and shakes his head. "Strange boy," he mutters, but within the hour the pizza dough is forgotten as a trail of flour leads to the bedroom.

*   
Two weeks later.

"Wesley!" Blaine yells down the phone.

"The only person ever allowed to call me that is your mom."

"Sorry."

"How are you, Blaine?"

"I'm so good! I have a tenant at last!"

"You do? That's amazing!" 

"I know! I was just thinking I'd have to sell, too. I can't wait to tell Kurt."

"He's not there?"

"No. He's rehearsing for his singing exam tomorrow."

"So...this tenant?" Wes prompts.

"That's why I was calling," Blaine tells him. "I had a call from Teresa- we met her when we went to Hawaii."

"I remember." 

"So... It's her sister, Kathy. She's been living in Minnesota but she's recently divorced. She really wanted to get out so she took a transfer to Columbus."

"What does she do?"

"She's a data analyst or something."

"Accurate."

"I can't be expected to remember everything. Anyway, Teresa was calling to ask if I knew anyone living nearby who could take her out, help her to meet new people...and I casually asked where she would be living and Teresa said she didn't have anywhere yet." 

"So...you've rented your house to someone you've never met, and who hasn't actually seen the place?"

"Yes."

"Marvelous." 

"Anyway," Blaine says, rolling his eyes at Wes' pragmatism "will you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Take her out a few times, introduce her to people- and by people I don't necessarily mean Nick and Jeff...or Sebastian."

"Depends. Is she hot?"

"How do I know?"

"Well...what's her sister like?"

"She's okay I guess. I dunno, I like guys."

"And I like girls, but I can still appreciate a good looking guy when I see one. For example, we can all tell Kurt looks like he's just stepped from the cover of vogue."

"You've been blinded by my classic beauty too, don't forget."

"Whatever."

"So will you take her out?"

"Ugh. If I must. But not a date! I'll take her for coffee and show her around the neighbourhood. But that's it. I'm busy with my own life."

"You're so gentlemanly and caring," Blaine teases. "You never know, Wes, this might be the one you've been waiting for."

"A middle aged divorcee? I doubt it."

"She's thirty one."

"Oh."

"I'll email you her number and moving date when I get it. Goodbye for now....Wesley."

When Kurt comes home that evening he is met with Chinese takeout waiting in the living room and an enormous bunch of flowers. The second he starts to protest, Blaine tells him all about the phone call with Teresa, and subsequently Wes, and states that a night of indulgence is on the cards to celebrate.

"Plus it means that you don't have to work this summer," he says brightly.

Kurt pauses, food halfway to his mouth as he stares. "Uh... Actually, I'm still gonna do that."

"But you don't have to," Blaine says in confusion.

"Well I start next week, so I kinda do. It's not really fair to call them and say 'oh my fiancé is rich again, I'm going back to being a kept man.' And I want to do it, anyway. It'll be fun. What else will I do all summer? I'll just end up sitting around, bored. You're going to Nashville in two weeks, then when you get back you're working on that Ryerson's campaign. All of my friends are either going home or working...why would I want to be sitting around the apartment all day waiting for you to come home?" 

"Your call," Blaine says with a shrug.

"Yes it is my call, thank you," Kurt snaps as his eyes spit fire. "I told you, Blaine. I don't want to be kept by you. Do you know how humiliating it is to have to ask you for cash as if you're my dad? It's good that we don't have to worry about the house now, yes. And it will be great to be able to start going out on our date nights instead of sitting at home all the time...but maybe I want to take you out, with my own money. Money which I've earned myself."

"You're right," Blaine says. "I'm sorry," he smiles apologetically, setting his takeout on the small side table to hold his arms out to him. "I get it, I do." Kurt falls into his arms happily, kissing into his hair. 

"Thank you. It's really important to me. I want to be able to buy you flowers too, without feeling like you've effectively bought them for yourself. I love you, you know."

"No, I didn't know that. You should have said something before," Blaine teases, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as Kurt smacks the hand resting on his hip. 

"You think you're funny, don't you?"

"I know I'm funny." 

"Well you'll be laughing on the other side of your face when we get in bed tonight and I refuse to put out," he says haughtily. 

"Is that so? Well I guess I'll just have to take what I can get right now then," he says with a grin as he flips Kurt so he's lying the length of the couch on his back. "Prepare to be ravished, Hummel."

*

Kathy Waters jumps from the U-haul, landing neatly at Wes' feet. "Hi," she says brightly, offering her hand and ignoring his slack jawed expression. "I'm Kathy. You must be Wes. Nice to meet you. Cute house! Blaine emailed me some pictures but it doesn't really do it justice. I can't wait to see inside," she says, bouncing a little in nervous excitement as Wes continues to stare. 

He takes in her appearance as she admires the flowers out the front of the house. She is petite, with long strawberry blond hair which falls neatly to her shoulders, and green eyes which sparkle as she speaks to him. 

Wait...speaking. 

She's speaking. 

To him. 

"Uh... What? I mean, um...pardon?" he says, then realizes to his horror that he's blushing and stammering like a fool.

"I said can we go inside?" she asks with a sweet smile. "You do have a key, don't you?"

"Uh...yes! Key! Yes. Yes. Blaine gave me....yes." He somehow manages to fumble the lock open and show her inside, their footsteps echoing loudly through the bare rooms. "It's uh...it's a really nice house," Wes tells her as she paces the kitchen. "Pretty." He blushes furiously again, looking at his feet before clearing his throat and forcing himself to look at her again. "I think you're pretty."

"Oh!" Kathy exclaims softly, one hand covering her mouth in surprise. 

"Sorry. I'm um... Erm... All my friends are gay," he blurts suddenly. "I seem to lack any kind of ability to talk with women, and as you can imagine, they're next to useless at giving me advice." 

"It's okay." She reaches one hand out as if to touch his hand, but seems to think better of it and pulls back quickly. "It's a long time since anyone has paid me a compliment like that. Thank you." 

Wes huffs an enormous sigh of relief as a smile lights up his face. "I do have a girlfriend," he says proudly, then flusters again "Not a girlfriend, girlfriend. I mean a lesbian. No! Well yes. Um... Oh crap." Pausing, he puffs air from his cheeks before continuing. "I have a friend who is a girl. But she's a lesbian. She's called Santana and she lives in New York."

"Right," Kathy nods, unsure of what to say or do with that information. 

"I should...I should just go," Wes tells her. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't have a friend at all," Kathy calls suddenly after his retreating back. Wes stops in the kitchen doorway and turns to see her wringing her hands nervously. "And I could really use one right now," she adds quietly. "Please?"

"I...I could stay and help you unload, if you want?" Wes offers, his own nerves calming as he sees how nervous Kathy is. "We could uh...we could maybe get coffee later? Or dinner?" 

"I would really like that," she beams right back. 

*

"You didn't have to get up early to walk me in," Kurt says as they head toward the park hand in hand. He's nervous for the first day in his new job and it shows. Deciding to Google 'life as a day camp counsellor' late last night probably wasn't the best idea- far too many horror stories of fighting children, throwing up, tears and tantrums for his liking. He's been chewing his lip and wringing his hands all morning and has changed his outfit three times, finally settling on a pair of smart beige shorts with a red short sleeved button down.

"I have to go to work anyway," Blaine reasons as their hands swing between them.

"I know, but not until later. Thank you."

"It's no trouble, Kurt, really. I wanted to." 

"I'm not entirely sure I'll survive," Kurt says quietly- more to himself than anything but Blaine picks up on it right away. 

"Of course you will. You're charming, debonair and extremely talented. They'll all love you. And if they don't...kick them."

"I think kicking small children might be frowned upon," Kurt says, and Blaine is happy to see a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "I don't know how people become teachers."

"Wes seems to like it enough," Blaine muses. "I think it's a vocation rather than just another job, though." 

"Talking of Wes, have you heard from him? I thought he was making sure your tenant settled in okay?"

"He was, and no I haven't," Blaine says with a small frown. "I text him Saturday night to see if it was all okay but he didn't reply. I'll try him again before I go to work. Anyway....I was thinking....now that we're back in the black, maybe we could fly to LA for the twin's birthday? It could be like a mini vacation I guess."

"Sure," Kurt smiles.

"We could fly out the day after you finish camp," Blaine tells him. "Then we could stay a full week."

"Sounds good to me," Kurt agrees. "Are your parents coming too?"

"Yes, if that's okay with you?"

"Cool. I always like visiting Cooper, and I love it when we're all together."

"Am I allowed to pay for the flights?" Blaine asks with a nudge to his shoulder.

"You're kinda gonna have to, if you want me to go," Kurt says with a shy laugh. "I don't get paid until we finish." 

They walk on in silence for a moment, and Kurt becomes aware of Blaine working his way up to saying something, which he does- eventually- feigning nonchalance very badly as he speaks.  
"Kurt? Why don't we just get a joint bank account? I mean, it makes more sense," he rushes on when Kurt stops walking and stares at him. "Then it's just kinda...a mash up of our incomes and expenditures...together. And you know, you could still keep an account for yourself if you wanted- transfer a set amount each month...you know, for buying me stuff."

"Um...."

"No. Okay," Blaine smiles tightly. "It's too much. Sorry. I know you like your independence."

"Actually I think it's a very smart idea," he smiles. "And also very thrilling." He does a little jump on the sidewalk which has Blaine laughing in relief.

"Oh thank goodness. And it is thrilling. God knows I still get excited at pushing a cart around Walmart with you."

"I'm just gonna say it, and I don't care if I sound like a twelve year old," Kurt says dramatically. "I love all this stuff. The grocery shopping, the little 'can you get gas on your way home' texts, even the cleaning of the apartment....and now the money it's just....really grown up."

"It is," Blaine agrees with an indulgent smile.

"I sound silly, don't I?" Kurt asks as they cross the street to enter the park. "You've been doing this stuff for years. Hell, you're a homeowner already."

"I have been, yes. But not with you. And that's what makes it exciting for me." Blaine tugs him to a stop once more, winding his arms around his neck as he leans up to kiss his lips. "And it is perfectly acceptable to get excited about doing grown up stuff, Kurt. You're nineteen. I'm thirty four."

"Nearly thirty five." 

"Three months away, thank you," he laughs. "I love seeing that side to you, Kurt. The young, still boyish way in which you bounce excitedly and your eyes light up. Don't ever lose that, please." 

"'Kay," he grins, suddenly bashful. 

They move on, coming to stop outside a large marquee which has been set up as a makeshift theatre for the day camp. Hordes of worried parents and their overexcited offspring mill about, and Kurt surveys the scene, momentarily overwhelmed. 

"You can do this," Blaine murmurs in his ear as he squeezes his fingers. 

"Joe," Kurt sighs in relief as his friend ambles happily toward him. 

"Hey," he smiles warmly at them. "Kurt, come inside when you're ready, we have to collect our name badges and fill in a form. Plus there's this really hot chick in there, but I'm worried she might be a lesbian. I need your opinion."

"Fantastic. And so my work begins," Kurt says as he turns to toward a smirking Blaine. "I'd better go."

"Do you have plans for this afternoon?"

"No, why?"

"I wondered if you might like to stop by the studio."

"Your studio? As in, the recording studio where you work...recording stuff?"

"Well I don't do any of the recording, but yes."

"I'd love to!" Kurt's whole face lights up at the prospect. "I've never seen you at work."

"I know, and I keep telling everyone about you but you're always in class. I want you to meet all the guys. I'm doing back up guitars for Nickelback's new album."

"Yeah, whatever. That means nothing but shame. But hey!" he cries, making Blaine laugh with his forced brightness. "I'll be there!"

"Okay," Blaine grins. "I'll see you later. Oh, here, I almost forgot." Rummaging in his bag he proudly hands Kurt a brown paper bag, an apple and a bottle of water.

"You made my lunch?" Kurt asks, peeking inside the bag and smiling at the sight of sandwiches and a little heart shaped note ready for reading later.

"I did."

"Yep. No doubt about it, you're the cutest."

Beaming, Blaine slides his arms around Kurt's waist and makes to kiss him, but Kurt flushes and stares at the buttons on Blaine's polo, hands coming up to fiddle with the bow tie around his neck. "I...I..I think maybe I shouldn't kiss you...here," he says, embarrassed and worried about hurting Blaine's feelings.

"Okay," Blaine nods. "I understand."

Relief floods Kurt's face. "You do?"

"Sure. It's okay. There's a ton of kids and parents around and you want to make a good impression. It's okay....just expect huge amounts of kissing later to make up for it," he smiles.

"Like a full on makeout session?"

"For sure."

"Okay. I have to go. I love you, old man."

"You too, gorgeous boy." 

Blaine returns home with a spring in his step and immediately opens up his laptop to book flights to LA, after which he checks his emails, happy to see one from Wes.

Blaine,  
I have a few questions, and due to the nature of the questions, I'd prefer to communicate via email to save my awkwardness and terrible embarrassment. 

1: Kathy asked if she could pay her rent weekly instead of monthly for a while, until everything with her work transfer is sorted out?

2: Did you know you need a new shed? You need a new shed. I can arrange this for you if you want me to, just let me know.

Blaine smiles and shakes his head, still unable to work out why this is in any way embarrassing for Wes. 

3: Do you know why I am so hopelessly, completely incompetent at talking to women who are not either A- our moms or B- Rachel and Santana? I've decided I'm blaming the inordinate amount of gay men I choose to surround myself with. You've all turned me into a social leper.

4: Is it acceptable to tell someone you think they're pretty, two minutes after meeting them?

5: If you then have dinner with that person, and it goes really, really well, do you think you should ask them out again? Is it okay to be terrified about doing this?

6: Blaine, do you believe in love at first sight?

Please do not call me to discuss this. My face is flaming even from typing. I might just curl up and die if forced to talk about it. She's just....beautiful.

You're going to call me, aren't you? Oh god. You are. I can see you. You're picking up the phone, smiling, and calling my number....

His email ends abruptly, and Blaine is surprised when his call is actually answered.

"I knew you'd call me. You want me to talk, don't you? You won't talk about any of your stuff, oh no. But you'll happily make me talk about my moronic tendencies," Wes says wearily.

"Question six, Wes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."


	15. Chapter 15

The day is stifling. Blaine walks through the park, grateful to find a bench in the shade where he can sit and watch Kurt wind up the days activities with a large group of children who are currently rehearsing what looks suspiciously like Grease. It's the end of Kurt's second week, and though he comes home most days moaning about getting his clothes dirty, or five year olds hanging off his legs, he has to admit to enjoying it immensely. He feels a real sense of satisfaction when he watches a little girl's confidence soar as she sings solo for the first time, or looking on as a group of boys decide they actually quite enjoy dance. 

On the days he works from home, Blaine makes sure to meet Kurt when he gets out. They stroll back through the park together, sometimes with Joe, eating ice cream and talking about their days. But today Blaine feels a heaviness on his heart. He leaves in the morning to travel to Nashville where he will spend ten days recording. Kurt reassures him constantly that he will be fine, that he's a big boy who can take care of himself. Blaine knows this, of course, and although he isn't worried about Kurt's welfare, he does worry about how they're going to cope with not seeing each other for so long. He fans himself with his hat, smiling politely as a woman sits on the bench next to him. 

"I love getting here early, watching them," she tells him. "My daughter is the one in the yellow dress," she says, pointing out a girl of around nine with neat little corn rows. 

"Is she enjoying it?" Blaine asks, watching as Kurt starts arranging the children into lines.

"Oh she loves it," the woman nods. "And all the staff are so nice. Particularly that one," she gestures to Kurt as she speaks. "I think Jasmine is hoping marriage might be on the cards."

"He's mine," Blaine snaps, surprised by his sudden vehemence. "Uh...sorry. I mean....that's my fiancé."

"Really? Oh wow." The woman looks at him, then back to Kurt before turning to Blaine with a smile. "Forgive me. I figured you were waiting for your kid."

"No," Blaine smiles back. "I can assure you, he's perfectly legal." 

The woman laughs out loud at this, patting his knee happily. "Good, good. Yeah," she says as she looks between them again. "I can see it. You make a cute couple. I'm Sandra, by the way."

"Blaine," he says warmly. "And thank you."

Another mother scoots onto the bench on the other side of Blaine at that moment, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, it's the only place with shade."

"No worries," Blaine tells her politely. They sit in silence for a while, watching as the children run through their choreography, and Blaine chuckles as he hears Kurt telling them not to take each other's eyes out. 

"Which one's yours?" the woman asks.

"The tall one in the Khaki shorts," Blaine nods in the vague direction of Kurt while Sandra snorts. 

"Oh." The mother looks confused as she tries to seek out which boy he means. "Oh, you mean the counsellor?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I didn't think you looked old enough to be his father," she smiles. "You look good. I'm Debbie, by the way. My son, Jayden, is the one on the left there, in the gray top."

Blaine nods, for some reason not feeling the need to correct her mistake, regretting it when she slides a little closer. 

"I'm a single mom," she offers, as Blaine realizes to his horror that she's flirting with him. "It's tough, isn't it?"

"Uh...I wouldn't know," he says stiffly, rubbing his jaw with his left hand and hoping she'll notice the ring. 

"No, of course not," she carries on obliviously. "I guess it's different being a single dad. Still tough though."

"No, no...I'm not...."

"Hey, mister!" They are interrupted by Kurt jogging toward them, ducking under the leaves of the tree before he stands in front of him, slightly breathless. "Stop flirting and come help me out here," he smiles brightly as he tugs him to his feet. "You're the one that I want."

"What? No, Kurt. Please. Just no."

"Come on. I want them all to meet you. And we can show them an example of what on stage chemistry should be like. Don't make me do it with Joe." Blaine continues to mumble his protest but still allows himself to be dragged across the park to the waiting group of children. 

"Cute," Sandra says to Debbie.

"Completely adorable," Debbie agrees. "Such a lovely father son relationship. And so cute that his kid picked up that he was flirting with me!" 

"Honey, that's not his son," Sandra laughs. "That's his fiancé." 

Debbie turns red, clearing her throat. "Um... I think you must have that wrong. He's much older."

"He is, yes. But they are engaged. He was just telling me himself. He's wearing a ring. Plus the boy had a diamond the size of The Hope Diamond on his hand." 

"That's disgusting," Debbie says angrily. "He's just a kid. What kind of parents does he have, that let their son get taken advantage of like that?"

"Excuse me?" Sandra says in disbelief. "He must be at least eighteen, all the counselors are in college. And what business is it of yours, anyway? He seemed like a nice man, you seemed perfectly smitten until you learned he was taken, and not batting for your team. Jeez! The ignorance of some people never fails to baffle me. Excuse me, I'm gonna go listen to them sing."

She stalks off angrily until she reaches the back of the group where she can see Kurt and Blaine down front, Blaine looking like he's waiting for the ground to swallow him whole. 

"Okay kids!" Kurt calls. "I want you all to meet someone. This is Blaine, everyone say hi to Blaine!"

Forty kids all chorus "Hi Blaine!" as he waves and offers a weak smile. 

"Is he Jacob's daddy?" a little girl asks, as a boy sat next to her with a tumble of dark curls shakes his head. 

"No honey, he's not. Blaine is...um...well Blaine is the man I'm going to marry," Kurt tells them all proudly. "You see this sparkly ring? Well that tells everyone," he says, with a coy grin in Blaine's direction, "that I'm going to marry him someday."

"He's really old," another child says.

"He is, yes," Kurt says as he scrunches his nose. "But you know what? He can sing really well, and he plays music too. Sometimes, after dinner, we sit down and Blaine plays the piano while we sing together."

"What is this? The wannabe Waltons?" Debbie mutters angrily as she arrives at Sandra's side.

"Do you sing love songs?" a boy asks.

"Yes, and sad songs, and silly songs, all sorts of songs. So that's why I've dragged him up here, so we can sing a song from Grease for you, and then it's home time, okay?"

The children all start nodding, clapping and talking enthusiastically as Kurt turns to offer Blaine his microphone. "Come on."

"I don't know Kurt, they're all...small."

"They'll love it. Please?"

"Anything for you," he mumbles, nodding to Joe to start playing the keyboard.

Blaine soon has all the little children laughing as he sings, twirling Kurt around and flirting teasingly with him, as Kurt plays Sandy to perfection. When they finish the kids and counsellors alike are on their feet, cheering and calling for more. Kurt holds his hands up and calls above the noise that he promises to make Blaine sing again sometime, but right now there are lots of hot and sweaty parents waiting to take their children home. He finds Blaine in the rabble, touching his fingers lightly with a soft smile. 

"Thank you."

"I actually enjoyed it," he says, laughing as he gets an unexpected hug from a passing child. "They seem to appreciate a show."

"They appreciate adults who aren't afraid to make fools of themselves," Kurt corrects. "Not that you looked foolish...oh, you know what I mean."

"Uh...Kurt?" He turns to see one of the camp leaders calling across to him. "Could I have a word?"

"Sure! I'll be right back." 

Blaine hangs around under a large tree, waiting for Kurt to return but when he does, his eyes are downcast and he's dragging his feet.

"Hey, you okay?"

"A parent complained about me," he says quietly.

"What? Why?"

Kurt shrugs despondently. "Dunno really, they just said it wasn't appropriate for me to get you involved and to tell everyone we were engaged. She said it was confusing for kids because...well because we're both guys and also because of your age."

"Bullshit," Blaine snaps angrily. "This is Chicago, not the Deep South in the nineteen fifties. Jesus Christ. What did your supervisor say? Are you in trouble?"

"No," and Kurt allows himself a small smile. "She said to ignore it, she just thought she should tell me in case the parent tries to talk to me direct about it. But other than that, she told the mother that this camp has children from all ethnic origins, religions and from various family set ups- including same sex couples. She said she thought it was cute that I got you up on stage, and told me that the kids really enjoyed it."

"So that's good, eh?" Blaine says as he nudges him with his shoulder. "Try not to worry about it my darling boy. It's one person and their narrow minded opinion. You've been nothing but professional." 

"I guess. I still feel sad though. I mean...I felt so safe here, so accepted compared to Lima."

"You are. We are. It's a very accepting city, Kurt, but there are assholes everywhere."

"I'm," he stops and looks around, lowering his voice so the passing children don't hear. "I'm pissed off. It's our last night together for ten days, and I was really excited, now I just feel deflated."

"Excuse me?" The couple step apart slightly to see a dad approaching them, a baby boy on his hip and a small girl holding his hand. "Sorry to interrupt. Scarlett just wanted to say thank you for singing. She really enjoyed it. Apparently she wants to see her mom and me attempt that song at home."

"Oh," Kurt smiles in surprise and looks to the little girl. "Well thank you, Scarlett. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"We all did," the man smiles. "Even this one was bouncing along," he says as Blaine holds the baby's little hand. "Good job." 

"Agreed," another voice chimes in, and Blaine turns to find Sandra smiling at them both. "See, Lauren. I told you they were a cute couple."

"The gay ones always are," her friend sighs. "But you two look so good together, and your singing voices are just wonderful. Kurt, could I see your ring? I keep seeing it flash as you move your hand."

"Sure," he beams as he holds his hand out.

"Oh my word! Mary-Ann!" she calls as another parent joins the growing crowd, "Mary-Ann, look at that ring."

"Well that is just divine," she coos. "Kurt, you are a lucky man. You too, mister," she says as she looks at Blaine. "Take care of him. My Jamie talks of nothing but Kurt and Joe at home. They've really made his summer special."

"Well he's really made my life special so...yeah," Blaine finishes shyly as the women around him emit a chorus of "ahh's"

"Um, if you'll excuse us," Kurt says politely. "Blaine is going away on business tomorrow, so we're gonna head off to spend some time together..." 

They say their goodbyes, earning them another round of hugs from kids and parents alike, before they head off across the park. 

"Assholes everywhere," Blaine says once they're out of earshot. "But also some pretty amazing people too." 

"I felt like a celebrity," Kurt says, bubbly and happy with laughter once more as he takes Blaine's hand in his. 

"You loved it, didn't you?"

"Yeah I did," he grins. "It's like, whenever anyone says 'can I see your engagement ring?' I'm like 'Oh, this ole thing?' But inside I'm flailing like a dying giraffe."

"What a beautiful analogy," Blaine teases, drawing them both to a halt so he can look into Kurt's eyes. "Are we far enough away for a kiss now?"

Kurt smiles sweetly, placing a long, lingering kiss to his lips. "I'm not ashamed of you, you know."

"I know," Blaine tells him honestly. "I understand."

"It's the opposite. I'm ridiculously proud to be seen with you."

"I know that, too," Blaine smiles, staring at the floor as he speaks quietly. "I know I was reluctant at first, but when you got me on stage and told everyone there that I was the man you're going to marry... Everything in me soared." 

"Wanna go home and make out like horny teenagers?"

"Well one of us can still fit that description, so why not?" 

*

"Fuck," Blaine rolls off Kurt and onto his back, panting hard. "I am completely incapable of keeping any kind of make out session with you chaste in any way. You are too damn talented with that tongue of yours."

"I wasn't aware we needed to keep things chaste," Kurt says, propping himself on one elbow to look down at him. His fingers trail along the sliver of skin exposed where Blaine's top has ridden up. "I believe we're both adults."

"I know," Blaine says, pausing to let out a soft moan as Kurt's fingers move to trace the outline of his steadily hardening cock. "But I want to cool off a moment." It takes great willpower and determination to move Kurt's hand, but he does, lacing their fingers together instead. "Otherwise I'll just end up pinning you down and fucking your brains out."

"Well isn't that nice?" Kurt says dryly. "Ever the romantic."

"That's just it though, I want to be. I want tonight to be about romance rather than lust."

"Okay. I get ya," Kurt says with a kiss to his cheek. "I'm gonna go take a shower, I'm all sticky."

"I'll start dinner."

"Ugh. Too hot to cook," Kurt says as he heads to the bathroom.

"We don't have to cook. We have bread and cheese. I think there's some prosciutto left too."

"Olives?"

"We always have olives."

"Sounds good to me."

"You have no shirt on," Blaine remarks when Kurt walks into the kitchen twenty minutes later, just in a pair of tailored gray shorts. 

"I know. How very daring of me." He walks over to where Blaine stands at the counter fixing a salad. Sliding his arms around his waist from behind, he drops a soft kiss to the back of his neck, tugging lightly at the hem of his polo. "Take yours off."

"Can't," Blaine tells him. "Cause then you'll press your bare chest against my back, causing me to let out some kind of embarrassing mewling sound, and then I'll slice my finger instead of these tomatoes."

"You feel so nice though," Kurt tries, running his hand under the shirt and over Blaine's stomach, up toward his chest.

The knife lands on the chopping board with a clatter as Blaine grips the counter tightly, leaning his head back onto Kurt's shoulder as his breath fans over his neck. "Oh god," he moans quietly. "Kurt...you...."

"Hmm?" Kurt runs his tongue over the salty skin behind Blaine's ear. 

"Eat. We should....we should eat." 

"Kiss me," Kurt demands hotly as his fingers turn Blaine's chin back toward him.

Turning his head, Blaine gives in, whimpering loudly as they kiss, tongues winding together. Kurt keeps one hand tight across Blaine's waist, the other up and under his polo, smoothing firmly over his chest, up and up until he's cupping his throat lightly. Blaine can feel the outline of Kurt's hard cock pushing in between his cheeks as his own erection is rubbing up against the edge of the counter until Kurt's hand leaves his throat to cup him there instead, squeezing lightly. 

"Holy shit!" Blaine gasps, breaking their kiss to throw his head back onto Kurt's shoulder once more. "Fuck, Kurt....."

"We should eat," Kurt tells him, and suddenly he is gone, sauntering across the room to the refrigerator, being sure to bend low as he reaches inside for the cheese. 

"Uhhhhh," Blaine moans, as his head drops onto his folded arms in defeat. "That was...."

"Hot," comes the sudden voice in his ear, making him jump. "But you're right, we can take our time."

"I don't think I want to anymore," comes his muffled voice as he continues to lean on the counter. 

"Yeah you do. Come on. Let's eat." 

"Go outside," Blaine says with a wave of his hand, "it's cooler now. Do you want wine?"

"Sure, why not?" 

They bustle about, setting food and drink on the small balcony table then settling together on the rattan corner sofa they recently bought. 

"You lost your shirt too, I see," Kurt comments as Blaine falls down next to him. "Nice."

"Look but don't touch," Blaine teases. "We need to eat and drink."

"To us," Kurt offers a toast with his glass as he grins. "May we not miss each other too much."

"You will miss me a little bit though, right?"

"More than a little," Kurt corrects. "But I don't want to miss you so much that we end up miserable." 

"Will you be okay?" Blaine asks with concern.

"Of course," he says brightly. "Joe's family are visiting this weekend, and I'm going for dinner with them on Saturday, and Dad is gonna come visit for a couple of days too."

"Father and son bonding time," Blaine smiles. 

"Yeah. You know, it always used to be just us. It was almost insufferable at times- especially during middle school when I didn't really have any friends. It was always just me and dad. And now there's this huge family....which is great, don't get me wrong, but I never want to lose that closeness with him either." 

"I know what you mean. And I agree. You shouldn't have to. It's like Wes and I. When we visit home now there's everyone clamouring to see us- which is great- but I miss those times where it was just us two bickering over who ate the most pizza." 

"You should see if he wants to visit you in Nashville this weekend," Kurt suggests.

"Maybe. If he can tear his eyes away from Kathy for long enough."

"What's going on there? Are they dating yet?"

"Ha! No. It will take Wes approximately six years to gather enough courage to ask her out."

"Bless. He's really smitten, huh?"

"I think he's head over heels," Blaine muses as he sips his wine. "And from what he tells me, I'd say she likes him too. But Wes has even less confidence in himself than I do in me."

"Has he ever had a girlfriend?"

"One. In college. Maria, her name was, she was this cute little Italian exchange student and they were together for nearly a year. But then she went back to Italy and that was that."

"That's sad."

"Yeah, he was pretty cut up for a while. But then this mess happened," he says, gesturing to himself, "and he was too preoccupied for a love life."

"I don't think he views it that way," Kurt says as he runs a reassuring hand over his leg. "But Wes is a good guy. He deserves to meet someone."

"He does," Blaine agrees. "My dearest wish is to see him married to someone who can appreciate him like he deserves."

"So....we might have to intervene here?"

"We just might," Blaine smiles.

"When you get back?"

"When I get back......Ugh, Kurt, why am I going?"

"Because Kenny Rogers needs someone to play guitar for him?"

"I know," Blaine moans as he slumps back against the cushions. "But we won't see each other for ten days."

"And it will suck, but you know? There was a time- not so long ago- where we just used to date. Nothing more. Occasionally I was allowed to sleep over but that was it. And you used to travel a lot. We can do this. It's good to have some time apart every now and then." Taking Blaine's glass, he sets it on the table before taking him in his arms, kissing into his hair. "Just remember to bring me back a gift."

"I will." Blaine pauses to look up at him, one hand cupping his jaw. "You're so beautiful."

Kurt bends to rub their noses together before inclining his head and kissing his lips tantalisingly slowly- pulling back when Blaine chases for more. "Hey!" Blaine protests, grabbing Kurt around his waist and pulling him into his lap. "I need more than that." They kiss deeply, slowly and with gentle hands framing faces before Kurt pulls back once more to rest their foreheads together. 

"I love you," Kurt says as he turns so he's resting his back against Blaine's chest and they look out at the lights of Chicago and Lake Michigan beyond "I love living here with you."

"It's pretty perfect," Blaine agrees as he kisses his shoulder. "The view is quite spectacular."

"It really is. Dusk is my favorite," Kurt says, sighing happily as Blaine massages his shoulders. "When all the lights first come on and you can still see the sun setting."

"I was talking about you."

"Oh." Blaine can tell Kurt is smiling from the way his ears move, and he can't resist scraping his teeth lightly over his back. "Mmm that feels good," Kurt says quietly.

"You taste good," Blaine murmurs as he kisses over his back. His fingers tease along the waistband of his shorts. "Oh god I want you so much."

"Blaine," Kurt's voice comes as a broken whimper when Blaine's hand slips down the back of his shorts, making his intentions clear.

Deftly unbuttoning his fly, Blaine reaches inside, chuckling into Kurt's neck when he realizes he's not wearing underwear. Taking his cock in hand, he strokes Kurt slowly, moaning happily as he feels him becoming rigid with want. Kurt reaches behind him, one hand finding the back of Blaine's neck and pulling him closer. Continuing his ministrations, Blaine moves his mouth to Kurt's neck, sucking a dark hickey just below his collarbone where he knows no one but Kurt will see. 

"Someone might see... One of the neighbours," Kurt whispers when Blaine's hands start to tug his shorts down. 

"They just might," Blaine agrees. "Wanna stop?"

"No." 

Blaine can't help but laugh quietly when Kurt produces a bottle of lube from under the cushion, and he quickly pulls his own shorts off. As discreetly as he can with a naked man sitting sideways in his lap, Blaine slicks his fingers and runs the pad of his thumb over Kurt's entrance, who buries his face in Blaine's neck to try and stifle his moans of pleasure. His fingers dig hard into Blaine's back when he adds a second, his other hand working between them to grasp Blaine's cock, running his thumb over the head before sucking it into his mouth to taste the precome. He turns in his lap then, so he's straddling Blaine's thighs facing out, both of them looking over the skyline. The frosted glass panels across the front of the balcony mean that if anyone were to look up to the second floor they would only see a blurred outline, but still it is rather thrilling as Blaine holds tight to Kurt's waist and pushes inside. 

"Oh god," Kurt moans. "That's so good."

"Ride me Kurt," Blaine whispers, his voice hot and heavy in Kurt's ear. "Let me see you take me over and over again." 

Nodding his agreement, Kurt rests his hands on Blaine's knees and rides him slowly, grinding down onto his cock as it fills him repeatedly. Blaine kisses over Kurt's back then rests his face against him, holding him tight, keeping him close. One hand travels down to hold Kurt's dick, stroking in time with Kurt's slow rhythm, twisting around the head lightly. 

"Blaine," Kurt moans loudly, throwing his head back, his eyes screwed tight with pleasure. "Stop a minute," he says as he stills Blaine's hand. "I'm not ready for it to be over yet. I need more of you."

He twists as far round as he can, driving his tongue into Blaine's mouth in a sloppy kiss as they continue to move together slowly, never rushing as Blaine hooks his chin over Kurt's shoulder. "I love you, my darling. I love you so much."

"Yes," Kurt pants softly as he leans forward slightly, deepening Blaine's angle to graze over his prostate. "God I wanna stay like this forever." 

"You look so good, taking my cock," Blaine groans. "Oh Kurt, you were just....made for me."

Time passes, ten minutes, maybe fifteen of slow rocking together, with Kurt leaning back to kiss Blaine's lips every now and then, and Blaine pressing his face to Kurt's back in between. This time, when Blaine begins to work Kurt's cock, he doesn't stop him, reaching around to hold the back of his neck once more as he comes silently, clenching tight around Blaine who follows immediately. Slowly they cease their rhythm and Blaine slides out carefully, leaning back into the corner of the couch and pulling Kurt into his arms.

"You blow my mind," he says, his grin dazzling in the darkness as he looks down to where Kurt rests his chin on his chest. 

"I'm really gonna miss you," Kurt admits quietly, playing with his chest hair as he speaks. "I know I'm gonna wake up every day, sad because you're not there."

"I told you, I'll bring you back a gift," Blaine tells him with a kiss to his forehead.

"Just bring yourself back, Blaine. That's always enough for me."


	16. Chapter 16

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Blaine asks for the third time, wincing when he hears Kurt huff in agitation on the other end of the line. 

“Yes! For goodness sake, Blaine. It’s been three days. That’s all. Three days. I haven’t burned the apartment down, Joe’s parents were lovely, his sisters look adorable but were a pain in the ass, and I solemnly swear that I have been eating and drinking as normal. Now, do you need me to detail my bathroom habits for you?”

“No,” comes the sullen response. “I just worry, that’s all.”

“I'm a freakin adult!” Kurt yells, finally losing his patience. 

“That’s what you think this is?” Blaine asks. “Your age? Kurt, I don’t worry about you because you’re young, I worry about you because you’re mine. And I’m still gonna be worrying about you when you’re fifty. You’re perfect to me- for me- and I just...I just like to keep you that way.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry for being overbearing.”

“Blaine?”

“Yes?”

“I’m not okay.”

“What?”

“I lied. I’m not okay. I’m miserable. It’s okay when I’m at work, or out with friends, but when I’m here, alone...I miss you like crazy. I miss being us. I miss your smiles, your little kisses, your hugs. I miss holding you in bed....god knows I miss everything about you.” He draws a great, trembling breath as he sits heavily on the bed.

“Oh Kurt,” Blaine sighs heavily. “It’s okay to admit it,” he says softly. “You wanna take this to skype?”

“No,” Kurt sniffs tearfully. “Cause then I’ll see your face and I’ll really lose it,” he says as he fumbles for a tissue. “Is that okay?”

“Sure. When does your dad arrive?”

“Tomorrow, after I finish work.”

“Well that’s something, eh? He’ll cheer you up, and keep you busy.”

“Yeah,” Kurt’s voice brightens at the prospect. “It’s just weird. I’ve never lived on my own, and the place is so empty without you here.”

“I miss you too, you know,” Blaine reassures. “You want me to sing for you before you go to sleep?”

“Yes please,” Kurt says as he slides under the covers. “I think I’d like that a lot.”

 

Burt Hummel arrives the next day, complete with an enormous care package from Carole, containing cookies and cakes which they happily devour most of while catching up with each others news. 

“So, you looked at any wedding venues yet?” Burt asks with a spray of crumbs. 

“No,” Kurt pouts. “We’ve been too busy. But we’ll have to start soon- all the good places will be booked otherwise. It’s less than two years away.”

“Quite,” Burt says, raising an eyebrow before reaching for another cookie. 

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you....would you be my best man?”

“Me?” Burt asks in shock as he drops his cookie. 

“You. We’re having a best man and maid of honor each. Blaine picked Wes and Santana, and I’m gonna ask Rachel when my eardrums are up to it. But...I’d really like it if you’d be there, right by my side because...well because you’re the best man I know.”

“What about Blaine?”

“Blaine is excluded from the conversation for reasons of....well, for reasons,” he smiles before turning serious. “I don’t want to be given away,” he explains. “For starters, I’m not a bride and secondly, because I’m not anyones to give, or be given to. I give myself to Blaine, willingly.”

“Steady.”

“You turned that into something else, not me,” Kurt laughs. “Seriously dad, will you do it?”

“I’d be honored,” Burt laughs as he climbs from his stool and hugs him tight. “Wanna know something, buddy? You’re the best kid anyone could have ever wished for. I’m so glad you’re happy with Blaine.”

"Thank you,” Kurt says as he swallows the lump in his throat. “Wanna talk color schemes? I have a binder.”

“I can't think of anything better,” Burt smiles.

Time with his dad makes Kurt happy, and it shows in the cute, flirty text messages he sends to Blaine, constantly reminding him of how much he is loved and missed, but also reassuring him that his dark cloud has lifted and he is feeling much brighter. Of course, their time together goes all too quickly and before long, Kurt is standing on the sidewalk waving a teary goodbye to Burt once more, but he's no sooner inside and his intercom buzzes and he trudges wearily to answer it. 

“How many times? It’s fifteen D that orders the pizza, this is fifteen C.”

“It’s me,” comes the rather confused voice of Joe on the other end. 

“Oh. Come on up.”

Kurt pulls open the door to be met by an enormous bouquet of flowers. “From one Mr. Anderson, with love.”

“What?”

“Blaine called,” Joe explains as he appears from behind the flowers. “He said you’d be feeling down because your dad had left and asked if I’d take you some flowers.”

“That’s...”

“That’s incredibly cute,” Joe says with a pointed look as he barges past him and into the apartment. “So don’t you even dare moan.”

“I wasn't going to.”

“Good. I was going to call you and see if you wanted to go out tonight anyway, but when Blaine said you’d most likely be upset, I thought I’d come sleep here instead.”

“You’re staying?”

“I am. We, my friend, are having a sleepover.”

“Cool,” Kurt says as he takes the flowers and heads to the kitchen. “You’re not sharing my bed though, you can go in the guest room.”

“Oh don’t you worry, I will,” Joe teases. “Now. I’ve never been friends with a gay guy before, so I wasn't really sure what to bring to cheer you up,” he rambles as he dumps his backpack on the table. “So forgive me if I’ve been hideously stereotypical. I did stop short of bringing facepacks.”

“See, this is why I like you,” Kurt laughs as he takes two cans of soda from the fridge. “You just say it as it is. You’ve never had a gay friend, and yet you just accept me and Blaine as if we’re no different.”

“Well you’re not,” Joe says with a confused frown. “Except you dress like you’re ready for a vogue cover shoot and Blaine dresses like he’s ninety.”

“He does not!” Kurt laughs. 

“He does. Anyway. I have ice cream,” he says brightly as he tosses the tub to Kurt. “And popcorn and movies. But I know how much you moaned about Die Hard, so I raided Holly’s room.”

“Hasn’t she gone home for the summer?”

“Yes, but she left a key. Bridget Jones?”

“I hate Bridget Jones.”

“Oh thank god,” Joe says happily as he stuffs it back in his bag. “Grease?”

“I’ve had enough of that this summer.”

“Me too. Moulin Rouge?”

“I could get on board with that,” Kurt smiles. 

Later that evening, when they have stuffed themselves full of popcorn and ice cream, and both are dressed in their matching spiderman pajamas, Kurt introduces Joe to ‘Bridezilla.’

“This is the gayest show I have ever seen,” he says in amazement. 

“How can you say that? They’re all hetro couples that are getting married.”

“That makes no difference. It’s the gayest of the gay, gay, gay. I love it.” 

Kurt laughs loudly, reaching across for his phone as it starts to ring. 

“Hey old man.”

“Good evening, gorgeous boy. I take it Joe arrived?”

“He did. We’re currently being gay together.”

“Umm....Okay. Right. well, as it’s Joe I guess that’s allowed,” he teases. 

“Thank you,” Kurt laughs. “And thank you for the flowers. How are you? Did you have a good day?”

“It was okay. Same old stuff really.”

“Blaine?” Kurt picks up on the upset in his voice right away, taking the call into the bedroom. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just...I guess it’s my turn to be really missing you,” he sighs. “I was really busy when I first got here, then Wes came for the night and now I’m just kinda...feeling lonely.” 

“Oh baby,” Kurt pouts. “I miss you too.”

“I wish I could be there with you. I need you to make me feel good.”

“Well given that Joe is sitting on our couch, I’d say that would be slightly inappropriate,” he jokes. “But when you get back I promise we will lock that front door and not emerge in public again until we’re both thoroughly satisfied.” 

“I miss you in other ways too, you know,” Blaine says sincerely. “Not just that. Although your body is....phwoar. To die for.”

“Four more days.”

“I know,” Blaine says with a strangled moan. 

“Blaine, honey, not now, okay?”

“Okay," he says with a reluctant sigh. "Sorry.”

“Will you call me later to sing to me?”

“Of course.”

The next night when Blaine calls, Kurt immediately begins with an apology. “I am so sorry,” he gushes. “I fell asleep on Joe. I woke up on the couch at three to find he’d gone to bed and I figured you wouldn’t appreciate me calling you. Then we were nearly late for work this morning so I didn’t have time, and I’ve been trying you since but you were obviously in the studio.”

“Kurt, it’s okay,” Blaine laughs. “I’m just glad you had fun with Joe. Really, it’s no big deal.”

"But I don't think I was very kind to you. You were upset and I was just really...dismissive. I'm so sorry."

"Kurt, honestly, it's fine."

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. How are you?”

“I’m okay. counting down the days...hours...”

“Me too,” Blaine smiles. “Tell me what you’re doing, right now.”

“Um, okay. Well I’ve just had a bath, and I was gonna put my pajamas on before I read for a while then go to sleep. It’s the height of excitement, I tell you,” he laughs. 

“Were going to...that means you haven’t,” Blaine smiles as he holds the phone a little tighter. “So...what are you wearing now?”

“Um..a towel?” Kurt says in confusion. “It’s around my hips.”

“Where are you?”

“On the bed. My phone was on the nightstand you see, so I...”

“Kurt, touch yourself for me."

"Pardon?"

"Touch yourself. Make yourself hard."

"Blaine," Kurt laughs nervously. "Really."

"We've done this before."

"I..I know I just feel a bit...embarrassed."

"It's just me,Kurt," Blaine coaxes. "We indulge in some type of sexual activity most days, unless I'm depressed and things don't work," he laughs self-deprecatingly. "Why are you suddenly shy?"

"I feel...I don't know...a little exposed, I guess." 

"Okay," Blaine says sweetly. "We don't have to. I'm sorry."

"No! No, you misunderstand me. I want to..... Like, I really, really want to."

"Oh." Blaine clears his throat down the line- his turn to feel a little awkward. "Um... Okay, I have an idea. Let's both turn out our lights and climb under the covers." 

A short burst of activity ensues, including Blaine cursing loudly when he stubs his toe on the corner of the bed, which has Kurt laughing.

"It's not funny," he huffs. "Why can't they have a lighting remote like we do?"

"Because we're classy, and clearly the hotel you're staying in isn't."

"How do you feel now?"

"Better," Kurt says with a small smile. "But not ready to...to..."

"Let me listen to you jerking off?"

"Yeah. That. Not ready for that...yet."

"You can say it."

"I know, it just feels weird. I'm so used to having you here with me. It's easier to say all that stuff when we're in the throes of passion."

"I know...but that doesn't mean you don't think about it," Blaine explains patiently. "You often initiate things, or send me flirtatious texts."

"Oh I think about it all the time," Kurt says, which makes Blaine chuckle softly. "That or the wedding."

"Both perfectly acceptable ways of whiling away the time. So...tell me what you think about."

"With the color scheme I was wondering if...."

"Not the wedding, Kurt!"

"I know that," Kurt laughs loudly, relaxing as he hears Blaine's laugh too. "I was just teasing you. I think about....stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Sometimes I just think about you, about how you taste, the way your skin feels under my hands, the way your body moves. The way your eyes turn almost black when we make love, and there's just this brilliant golden ring around the outside, the way your smile lights up your whole face."

"And other times?"

"No, no. That's not...no. That's just...."

"It's okay to have fantasies, Kurt. It's good, in fact."

"Do you have them?"

"Of course," Blaine says nonchalantly. "I have many a fantasy. They all involve you in one way or another. I used to fantasise about other men but since meeting you it's... Well it's not that I don't find other men attractive, because I do, but you're the one I want the most, if that makes sense."

"Can you....could you tell me some?"

"Sure. But you need to know that it is just fantasy, okay? Some of the stuff we've done but other stuff...well it's just scenarios that have...um...helped me through as it were."

"Okay," Kurt says, his voice urging Blaine to continue.

"Well one of the biggest ones for me was sex on the balcony," he says, knowing full well Kurt is smiling into the phone. "So I can tick that off. But that was so hot. I like the thrill of possibly getting caught. To be honest, I'd probably die if we did, but yeah."

"That time I sucked you off in that alley...we got caught then. You were cocky as anything."

"True," Blaine concedes. "I don't know how I'd feel if someone could actually see us fucking though."

"Oh." The noise is soft, high pitched and goes immediately to Blaine's cock as he holds the phone a little tighter.

"Kurt?"

"The way you said fucking. It just..."

"You want it rough?"

"Yeah," Kurt whimpers as he feels his cock rising. "I mean....the lovemaking is...beautiful but sometimes I just wanna get dirty."

"Oh Jesus." Blaine runs a hand over his erection, breathing in sharply through his nose.

"I'd like it if you fucked me really hard. Pinned me down and just gave it to me."

"You're killing me," Blaine chuckles. "Are you hard?"

"I'm desperate," Kurt tells him honestly.

"Get the lube and start to stroke yourself for me. But go slow to start, okay?"

Blaine takes the moan as confirmation, scooping moisturizer into his own hand and running it over himself. "Are you doing it?"

"Yes," Kurt whispers. "Tell me more, Blaine. Tell me what you want us to do."

"I want...I want you to use me, Kurt. Like really use me. I want you to fuck me and then force your cock deep into my throat. I want you to fuck my face, hard."

"Blaine....yes," Kurt groans as he ignores Blaine's instructions and starts pumping his dick frantically. "I wanna do that, and I want you to fuck me with a dildo while I'm doing it."

"Oh god...yes...fuck," Blaine cries out. 

"I want you to fuck me against a wall," Kurt tells him as Blaine kicks the covers off, frantically flipping the phone to speaker so he can trail a spit slick finger over his ass. "Or maybe I'll fuck you against the patio doors, where the neighbors could catch us at any moment, looking on as you scream for my cock deep in your ass."

"Yes, fuck me Kurt. Take me! Oh God."

"Finger yourself for me."

"I am, I am," Blaine cries brokenly. "But it's not enough. I need you, baby. I need you to fuck me so hard."

"Yes Blaine....oh god yes...take it...." Kurt comes with a yell, spurting onto his stomach in hot white streaks as he listens to Blaine shouting his name as he comes too. 

"Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod," Blaine chants softly as his breathing slowly returns to normal. "Kurt, you are.... Too good. Jeez. Don't you ever," he pauses to laugh disbelievingly, "don't you ever play the innocent with me again, young man."

"Ha! It wasn't an act," Kurt tells him honestly. "But you have this way with words which gets me going...and then the dam bursts and all sorts of stuff emerges."

"You are so...ugh. I dunno. So hot, so cute, so beautiful, so naughty...a heady mix of the innocent and the debauched. I love it."

"Three days," Kurt says wistfully.

"I know, darling, I know."

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" 

"I enjoyed what we just did. I liked hearing about...things...you want to try, and I can't wait to try them."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But what I'm looking forward to the most is being in your arms again. That's what I miss more than anything, being held by you."

"Well when I walk through that door on Saturday night I promise to hug you real tight, okay?"

"Maybe a kiss too?"

"Maybe. You never know. I love you, gorgeous boy."

"You too." 

*

Blaime trudges wearily down the hallway on Saturday night, pulling his suitcase behind him. His face brightens considerably when he sees his front door, and he unlocks it hastily, flinging it wide open.

"I'm...Jesus fucking Christ!" Blaine stops in stunned amazement at the sight before him. Spread out on the living room rug, is Kurt. Entirely naked, ass rising in the air as he fucks himself on a large purple dildo, he looks over his shoulder at Blaine, eyes wide. Porn is playing on the large tv screen but Blaine pays it no attention whatsoever as his mouth hangs open and he just stares. 

"I wasn't expecting you back yet," Kurt says quietly.

"Clearly." He swallows repeatedly, and blinks rapidly but the sight remains the same. "I sent a text."

"I uh...I wasn't looking at my phone."

"Obviously not," Blaine says, arching one eyebrow. 

"Could you...maybe close the door? I'm sorta...on display."

"Hmm? Oh! Right. Yes." Blaine kicks the door closed and returns to his spot, as if rooted there and incapable of anything other than staring. 

"I'll just...." Kurt mutters as he makes to withdraw the toy.

"No! No. Don't...don't stop." 

"Um...okay." Kurt nods and starts to move the dildo again, moaning quietly before stopping to turn back to Blaine once more. "Either join in or sit and watch, but don't just stand there with your suitcase, still in your coat and shoes."

"I...uh...Right! Yes. Oh Jesus." Blaine seems to stutter into life then, rushing fully into the living room where he sheds his clothes quickly before kneeling in front of Kurt. "Kiss me," he begs as Kurt lifts his head from the rug to look at him. "Please kiss me."

Knocked backward with the force of Kurt's embrace, Blaine devours Kurt, moaning loudly as their naked bodies press together and he feels Kurt's fingers tugging at his hair. Feeling Kurt's cock digging into his hip, Blaine reaches around to grab the toy, and immediately starts fucking it into Kurt hard. 

"Fuck!" Kurt wails, digging his nails into Blaine's shoulders. "Oh yes Blaine. Give me what I need." 

"Tell me what you want baby," he whispers in Kurt's ear before biting over the sensitive skin just below his ear.

"Suck me."

He's expecting to be flipped onto his back, but Blaine surprises him by turning under him, sliding along until he can take Kurt's cock in his mouth upside down. Getting the hint, Kurt bends to suck Blaine into his mouth too, and for a moment the room is silent until Blaine moves the dildo to rub Kurt's prostate and he breaks away to cry out. 

"Blaine! Jesus....fuck! Oh fuck...yes!" 

Nudging Kurt back with his knee, Blaine takes his cock as deep as he can, until it's hitting the back of his throat. It's too much for Kurt, the deep throating, being fucked by a dildo, and sucking Blaine's cock and he comes into the warm heat of Blaine's mouth, trembling and pulsing before his legs give out entirely and he just manages to fall onto the rug and not Blaine's face. Blaine rolls onto his side, grinning down at him before kissing him tenderly. 

"I wanna watch you come," Kurt whispers against his lips. "Like you did the other day on the phone." He takes Blaine's hand and drizzles lube into his palm. "Let me watch you jerking off. Finger yourself for me, go on." 

Never shy, Blaine obliges happily, kneeling up to stretch himself wide on three fingers as he strokes his cock. Kurt kisses him hard before replacing Blaine's hand with his own, drawing Blaine close against him as he whimpers into the warmth of Kurt's neck. 

"Gonna come," he tells him brokenly, clutching Kurt's waist with one arm as comes to orgasm, his warm come leaking onto both their stomachs as Blaine groans happily. He kisses Kurt gently, sweetly, pulling back to grin happily at being reunited with his love once more. 

"What a homecoming," he laughs. 

"I've missed you so much," Kurt says, a cute little squeal in his voice which has Blaine smiling as he takes him in his arms. 

"I know I promised you cuddles," he says as he turns the DVD off with the remote. "I just didn't think they'd be post coital cuddles quite so quickly." Happy and content, Blaine lies on his back with his eyes closed, his arms wrapped tight around Kurt who buries himself into his neck. 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" 

"I got your text."

"What text?" He frowns slightly, his sex-addled brain trying to work out what Kurt is talking about.

"The one that said you would be home in twenty minutes." 

"Good..... Hey!" Sitting upright, he looks down at Kurt who giggles like a school kid as he kicks his feet. "You planned all that?"

"Yes!" is all Kurt can screech as he laughs uncontrollably at the look of incredulity on Blaine's face. 

"You.... But you... I thought I'd intruded on a very private moment I...." Shaking his head as if trying to get his thought into some semblance of order, Blaine makes to speak several times over before giving in and laughing loudly. "Kurt Hummel, you will pay for this. You will pay!" he cries as he lunges on top of him and begins tickling him mercilessly. 

"I didn't hear you complaining!" Kurt screams as he writhes on the rug. "Stop it! No, no, please!"

Blaine stops the tickling, catching Kurt's wrists and pinning them above his head before kissing him hard. "You are unbelievable," he smiles. "After our conversation the other day..."

"It was that which gave me the idea," Kurt says proudly. "I even bought the dildo by myself, with no help from Wes."

"You went into a shop and got it?"

"I did. Do you like it?"

"It looks...purple," Blaine finishes lamely.

"It feels fantastic," Kurt says as he wriggles out of Blaine's clutches to sit. "I can't wait to use it on you."

"Does it feel better than me?" Blaine asks with a small pout.

"Of course not! Nothing ever could. Nothing beats feeling you inside me, and nothing beats this, either," he says as he cuddles him close. "This is what I've truly been waiting for." 

"Me too." Wriggling around until his head is resting on Kurt's chest, Blaine sighs contentedly. "Please tell me we can stay like this for the rest of the evening?"

"We most certainly can," Kurt agrees with a sweet kiss. "Back where we both belong."


	17. Chapter 17

"Are you actually kidding me?" Blaine asks when Kurt emerges from their building dragging two suitcases. "We're going away for ten days."

"I know," Kurt says as he helps to load their luggage into the trunk. "But we're meeting Kathy, and I want to make a good impression."

"I think she'll be more concerned with what Wes is wearing than an engaged, gay nineteen year old," Blaine tells him as he holds the passenger door open for him, laughing when Kurt sticks his tongue out. 

"So has anyone else met Kathy yet?"

"No," Blaine laughs as he starts to drive. "Wes would have heart failure if she met Sebastian. I think he wants my approval before he dares mention her to anyone else."

"So they're dating now?"

"Don't be silly. I told you, he'll never ask her out in a million years."

"But they do go out, right? Last time I spoke with him they had just been for coffee."

"They go out all the time, but they're both still classing it as friends and not as a date." Blaine explains.

"So their first double non-date is at Breadstix. Great." 

"Says the man who seemingly packed an extra suitcase of clothes for the event." 

"I like to be prepared," Kurt says as he fiddles with the radio. "And I know breadstix isn't the height of sophistication, but we usually go out for dinner somewhere fancy in LA."

"Actually, we're not going to Breadstix tonight."

"What? What is this travesty?" Kurt cries in mock outrage. "Where are we going then?" 

"I don't know. Somewhere in Columbus. Wes is picking us all up."

"Is that a joke?"

"Huh?"

"Wes can't pick us up, you fool!" Kurt cries exasperatedly. "Wes needs to pick Kathy up, alone, and say something along the lines of 'Kurt and Blaine got held up, they're meeting us there.' That way, he gets to drive her home at the end of the night by himself."

"Why would he do that? It makes no sense," Blaine says as he frowns in confusion. "He has to drive right past my parent's place. Why wouldn't he pick us up?"

"The entire female population is thanking their lucky stars that you're not straight right now. Jeez."

"If I have to drive I can't have a drink."

"Then I'll drive, you moron! Honest to god. Poor Wes. It's no wonder he's hopeless. I mean look who he's got to give him advice."

"I haven't done too badly," Blaine bristles. "I got you." 

"Pull over," Kurt suddenly demands.

"What?"

"Pull over."

Blaine signals and pulls into a gas station, turning to look at Kurt with concern. "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

"No. But I can't do this when you're driving," he says before kissing him passionately. "I love you so much."

"You love to tease me," Blaine grumbles affectionately. 

"I do. But I like kissing you more."

"Best do it again then," Blaine smiles as he tilts his head.

"Best had."

*

"Sorry we're late!" Blaine calls as they walk through the Anderson's front door. "We were...."

"Making out," Kurt finishes for him as Sara and Mike appear in the hallway. 

"That's nice, darling," Sara smiles as she hugs Kurt tight, giving Blaine a withering look as he tries to kick his fiancé. "Blaine darling, don't be rough. Kurt doesn't like it."

Blaine snorts loudly as Kurt stares at the floor, grateful when Mike distracts him with a hug. "How are my boys?" he smiles. "Ready for vacation tomorrow? Kurt, I've been brushing up on my chess skills."

"Whatever," Kurt says coolly, "I'm still gonna beat you. You'll never win Mike, you should know that by now."

"Kurt will not be beaten," Blaine confirms as he starts up the stairs. "At anything. Ever. It is now his life mission to get Wes and Kathy together."

"Well someone needs to, darling," Sara says as she trails the line of men up the stairs. "She's all Wesley can talk about when he visits."

"She's right," Mike acknowledges as he sets a suitcase down in Blaine's childhood room. "Last time he was here, Burt and I were trying to convince him to ask her on a date, but he was having none of it. Finn even offered to call her on his behalf, but that offer was swiftly declined."

"It's like you all have this life that just carries on without me and Kurt," Blaine moans as he sits on his old bed.

"Well of course we do darling," Sara says as she ruffles his hair. "What do you expect us to do? Sit around not daring to socialize with one another until you pay us a fleeting visit?"

"If you miss us that much you'll have to move back after Kurt graduates," Mike says with a smile.

"We won't be doing that," Blaine says as he smiles broadly. "My fiancé is gonna be a star on Broadway."

"What?" Kurt asks suddenly. "Since when?"

"Since always," Blaine answers in confusion. "You told me that when you were fifteen."

"I know, but that was before..."

"Before what?"

"Um...we're just going to leave you two to um...discuss things," Sara says delicately as she tugs Mike from the room. "See you downstairs."

"Well?" Blaine asks as the door closes.

"I just...kinda figured I wasn't going to go down the Broadway route, that's all."

"But why?" He reaches for Kurt's hands, tugging him onto the bed next to him. "What's changed?"

"You.... Us.... Marriage, babies....."

"But your dreams? Have they changed?"

"Yes, in the way that they now have you at the center," Kurt replies honestly, "I mean, Broadway would be great but... But I figured I'd try and work in Chicago. It has a great theatre scene."

"It does," Blaine agrees, "but that doesn't mean you should give up on your greatest ambition. Reach for the stars, gorgeous boy. Find an agent in Chicago by all means; base yourself there if you want, but please never stop striving to reach the top. You know, to reach Broadway anyway you're gonna have to perform anywhere and everywhere to get noticed."

"But you want..."

"I want to see you happy. I want to see you up on stage, shining bright like the star that you are."

"Babies," Kurt finishes.

"We've been through this. Yes I do, but there's nothing to stop me staying at home looking after a small person while you're out entertaining the masses."

"And you wouldn't mind? Cause honestly? I would. I'd resent it if you were out doing what you love and I was sitting at home with a baby on my hip." Kurt blushes at his honestly, hoping he hasn't offended, but Blaine leans over and kisses his cheek.

"I know you would. And I know that because I know how much you hate it when I'm the sole earner, and I know how much you've enjoyed having a job this summer because feeling equal is really important to you. But look at it this way, Kurt; this is my time to earn the money, to pay the rent and bills while also saving for our wedding. And while I'm busy doing that, you're busy learning your craft. I had to learn mine too, don't forget. Many years ago, when you were just a little kid, I was working my ass off to learn all the intricacies of music so that I could make a living from it. That's no different to what you're doing now, except we didn't know each other back then.   
So you'll study hard so that when we're ready, we can switch roles. You'll be the breadwinner and I'll be at home with a baby on my hip and it won't bother me one bit."

"Ugh," Kurt says as he falls back on the bed with a sigh. "There you go again."

"What did I do?" Blaine asks, worried as he falls down next to him.

"Making me fall in love with you even more. It's quite the gift you have," Kurt smiles.

"Aw, stop," Blaine blushes.

"It's true. And if we didn't have somewhere to be right now I'd be kissing every inch of you, just to prove my point. But we do, so it'll have to wait. Just know that I'm so eternally grateful to have found someone who gets me, and who loves me despite my flaws."

"It's because of your flaws that I love you, dumbass," Blaine says affectionately as he drapes himself over Kurt's chest. "Because that's what makes you perfect to me. But having ambition isn't a flaw. Not wanting to sit idle while the world passes you by is to be admired. People like you.... You were made to be seen and heard, you need to make a difference on a grand scale."

"What if I don't?" Kurt asks fearfully.

"You already did," Blaine says, sitting up and offering his hand. "You asked me to marry you."

*

They arrive at the restaurant to find Wes sitting nervously next to a beautiful, petite redhead in a booth, both shrinking away from each other slightly as if fearful of making any kind of bodily contact. Wes looks up, grinning broadly when he catches sight of the couple and he runs to hug them both tight. 

"That's her," he whispers excitedly as he pushes his face between them.

"She's so pretty," Kurt says happily. "You two do your non-gay hugging and kissing thing, I'm gonna go say hi."

He walks toward the table where Kathy is eyeing Wes and Blaine suspiciously as Blaine takes Wes' face in his hands and kisses his forehead firmly.

"Ignore them, they're always like that after they've been separated for any length of time. I'm Kurt," he says, offering his hand with a smile.

"Kathy," she says as she shakes his hand. "Wes is..."

"Wes is straight," he reassures. "And my fiancé is very much mine anyway," he says proudly, "but they're...they're like...beyond best friends. Closer than brothers, even."

"Oh," Kathy says with a nod, though she doesn't really understand in the slightest. "Do you think they're going to come sit down? I think they're in the way of the waiters,"

"Blaine! Put him down," Kurt calls as the pair break their embrace and come to the table.

"Sorry," Wes says shyly. "I just miss Blaine an awful lot. Oh!" he exclaims, suddenly remembering. "This is Blaine. Best friend, brother and lifelong confidant."

"And Wes is my savior," Blaine says as he reaches across the booth to shake her hand.

"O-Kay?" Kathy says as her eyes dart this way and that. "Well it's nice to finally meet you," she smiles. "After all the emails we've exchanged. Thank you for letting me live in your house."

"No worries," Blaine laughs. "I'm glad you like it there."

"I'd forgotten you're British," Kurt says happily. "Your accent is adorable."

"Isn't it?" Wes gushes, then remembers himself and blushes furiously. 

"Blaine honey, why don't you and Wes go and get us some drinks from the bar?" Kurt says sweetly patting his hand.

"We can order them at the table," Blaine replies with a smile.

"Even so, why don't you go to the bar?"

"Why? They'll come take our drinks order from here. I don't..."

"Go to the bar, Blaine," Kurt says with a kick to his shin under the table. "Now." 

Blaine sets off with Wes in tow, both grumbling about Kurt and his pedantic ways. Turning to Kathy with a bright smile as soon as they're out of earshot, Kurt says "So. You and Wes."

"Oh, there is no me and Wes," Kathy says quietly as she fiddles with her napkin. "He's uh...he's just a friend."

"Would you like there to be?" Kurt asks boldly.

"What I want doesn't come into it," she says with a small shrug. "He's not interested."

"How do you know that?"

"Well we see each other a lot- we talk most days. We go to the movies, out for dinner, coffee or just take a walk together but...well...he's never even tried...anything."

"Because he's terrified, that's why," Kurt whispers conspiratorially as he leans across the booth. "He likes you. A lot. Trust me."

"But then why doesn't he...."

"I don't know. Maybe he thinks it's too soon after your divorce?"

"It's not though!" Kathy says emphatically. "We split six months before we even discussed filing for divorce, and it was all very amicable."

"Does Wes know that?"

"No, I guess not," she says as she stares at the table. "I really like him, Kurt." Kathy looks up, eyes shining. 

"Then go for it," Kurt tells her, reaching across to squeeze her hand. "Wes is...amazing. I don't know him as well as Blaine does, but I know him well enough to say that he would be the second most perfect boyfriend ever- obviously since Blaine is the first."

"You don't include yourself in that?"

"Honey, I am in a different league," he says making Kathy laugh out loud. "Has he ever told you how him and Blaine became so close?"

"No," she shakes her head. "He said they were friends from school but became closer after college. I asked how come but he muttered something about needing Blaine's permission for something?"

"Yeah I guess... I guess he wouldn't feel comfortable telling you otherwise. But if you're gonna stick around it's probably something you should know. It helps explain why they tell each other everything- often before they tell their significant others...although what I really mean by that is Blaine tells Wes most things before he tells me."

"Does that bother you?"

"No," Kurt says nonchalantly. "It used to. But ultimately I'm just happy they have each other. And I love Wes dearly."

"They're coming back," Kathy says suddenly as she glances over his shoulder. "Thank you, Kurt."

"Anytime. And you'd better force yourself on him tonight," he smiles as she reddens.

Their dinner passes all too quickly, Blaine and Kurt find Kathy to be invigorating company and Wes' bashfulness completely adorable. They say their goodbyes in the parking lot, with Kurt frantically signalling to Kathy to go for it until he notices Blaine staring at him. 

"That was nice," Blaine says that night as they lie in bed together.

"We haven't done anything yet."

"The dinner, fool," Blaine answers with a laugh. "Although..." Rolling on top of Kurt he kisses him deeply, quickly moving his hand to the front of Kurt's pajama pants. "I wouldn't say no to making out before we go to sleep."

"That's more than making out...oh!" Kurt cries as Blaine's fingers suddenly move inside the pants to grasp his half-hard cock. 

"I'm sorry, you're right," Blaine says with a grin as he pulls back. "How completely inappropriate of me."

"Get your mouth around me now," Kurt growls, but just as Blaine is headed in that direction his phone buzzes on the nightstand. He rolls over to read it- much to Kurt's frustration- then falls back on the pillows with a laugh, handing the phone to Kurt. 

"Fucking finally," he murmurs, tossing the phone back in its place- Wes' text still lighting up the screen. 

SHE KISSED ME!!!

*

"Hey Uncle Blaine, guess what?" Taylor cries as he hurls himself into his open arms.

"What?" Blaine laughs as he just about manages to catch his nephew, who now nearly matches him in height. 

"We're now only a year younger than Uncle Kurt was when you two first met," Maddie finishes for him. 

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to stop talking," an embarrassed Blaine laughs as he kisses her. 

"Met, not started dating," Kurt points out as he hugs each of them tightly. 

"No, cause you were a whole sixteen when that happened," Taylor teases. "Oh my god I remember thinking you were so cool," he says in disbelief. 

"That was before you discovered skateboards, and when I still held out some hope for you, fashion wise," Kurt teases back. "What are these?" he asks, tugging on the chains hanging from his jeans. "You look like a prison officer." 

"Fashion, Uncle Kurt. Something you know nothing about."

"Ooh!" Cooper laughs as he arrives on the driveway to greet them. "Careful Tay, you'll make an enemy of your favorite person."

"What?" Blaine cries in outrage.

"Don't worry, you're my favorite," Maddie whispers as she takes his arm and leads him inside. 

As always with their trips to LA, the time passes too quickly. Blaine and Kurt feel like they barely see each other until they collapse, exhausted, into bed every night. Kurt spends time with Cooper and Mike while Blaine and his mom entertain the twins, then Maddie drags Blaine to a mall with Cooper and his credit card while Kurt takes a very reluctant trip to a skate park to watch Taylor and his friends whizzing along something which is apparently called a half pipe, but which looks to Kurt like a giant waste of time. Still, he smiles and applauds and in the end concedes that Taylor is quite gifted on a skateboard, though he does draw the line at trying it for himself. 

Dinners out are punctuated with lazy afternoons around the pool where Claire and Blaine stay in the water while Mike tries desperately to beat Kurt at chess, Sara takes endless photos of all her darlings and Cooper runs in and out fetching drinks and ice creams. As always, their last night ends with a sunset stroll along the beach, and Cooper and Blaine finally have time alone. 

"Thanks for coming out again," Cooper says as he kicks at the sand. "I like that it's become an Anderson family tradition."

"Our pleasure," Blaine smiles as he watches his parents strolling ahead of them hand in hand. "A marriage like theirs, that's what I want," he says as he notices Cooper watching too.

"Me too. Claire and I strive to be like that. It's their golden wedding next year."

"I know. Gosh. Fifty years. I wonder if Kurt and I will get that far? I'll be eighty seven."

"Well that puts me at ninety six so I think we will end that conversation right now," Cooper laughs.

"I hate to see them getting older," Blaine admits softly as he watches his parents stop to sit on the low wall. "Dad particularly. Sometimes I look at them and it just hits me that they're not getting any younger. You know, mom takes a little longer to do things, dad forgets stuff...."

"Funny really," Copper muses. "You have kids and spend so many years eagerly watching them grow. I wonder when that changes? When you think 'okay, enough growing now, stay just as you are please.'"

"Well I don't know about kids, but I wouldn't mind keeping Kurt at nineteen forever," Blaine jokes.

"You old dog," Cooper laughs. "You two are ridiculous. You'll still be in the honeymoon phase on your golden wedding, of that I have no doubt."

"Hmm. Yeah," Blaine grins, "it is pretty fantastic. But things do change. It's changed since we started living together. But only for the better."

"You still bang around in that pool house," Cooper says with a nudge. "Literally and figuratively."

Blaine has the decency to blush. "Like I said, I wish I could keep him at nineteen. Though I can barely keep up at nearly thirty five, so he'd probably kill me at fifty."

"I'm glad it all worked out," Cooper says. "When I think back to his graduation..."

"I know. But that's in the past. We're together to stay."

"Oh I know you are. Bless, Kurt was telling me how much he missed you when you went away. He was pleased to have you home..... Why are you blushing? What's embarrassing about that?"

"Nothing," Blaine mutters. "I missed him too."

"I can't believe he turned down the chance to study in England because he would miss you too much."

"I'm sorry, what?" Blaine says sharply as he stops dead.

"Oh fuck." Cooper looks horrified as Blaine runs a hand through his hair. "I didn't know that you didn't know. He didn't say it was a secret. Fuck. Shit."

"Um.... Okay. Wow. He turned it down?"

"That's what he said," Cooper shrugs, still mortified at his slip up. "That he could have gone to train at some drama school in England for six weeks but he said no because he didn't want to be away from you for that long..... I've ruined everything, haven't I? Now there's gonna be a big fight and I'm gonna have to chase after Kurt again."

"No, no," Blaine reassures him quickly. "I am surprised. But I'm not going to fight with him about it. I'll talk to him when we get home." 

"Blaine? Are you mad?"

"Not mad just....well...a little mad maybe, because he's always on at me to tell him stuff and then he goes and does exactly what he yells at me for. But more sad than anything, that he felt he couldn't discuss this with me."

"Maybe there wasn't much to discuss," Cooper suggests. "It could be that he just decided instantly that he didn't want to go."

"Hmm, maybe," Blaine plasters a bright smile on his face. "Ah well. I dare say it'll all work itself out. Now, tell me about this film you're doing." 

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks later that night. They are lying in bed together, shut away in Cooper's pool house and listening to the soft noises of the night around them. Blaine's head rests on Kurt's chest and he traces an idle finger over his sternum as Kurt smooths a caring hand over his shoulders. 

"Yeah," Blaine murmurs quietly. "Just sad to be leaving I guess."

"I know," Kurt says with a little kiss into his hair. "I know it sucks. But it won't be long to thanksgiving."

"I guess." A silence falls- one which Kurt can't help but feel is loaded with something, but Blaine isn't forthcoming. He sighs heavily, about to ask him again what's wrong, but Blaine surprises him. 

"Kurt? You'd tell me, right, if something was bothering you?"

"Of course," he exclaims, propping himself on one elbow so Blaine is forced to sit upright. "Why?"

"Because.... Nevermind."

"Don't you fucking dare," Kurt suddenly seethes,shaking his head vehemently. "Do not do this again."

"No, no I'm not," Blaine reassures. "We need to talk when we get home, that's all."

"About what?"

"Not here, Kurt. I don't want to do this here and now when we're both tired and it could potentially escalate into an argument. I hate it when we fight over even the tiniest things."

"And you think we're gonna fight over whatever this thing is?" Kurt asks, becoming more and more worried.

"I don't want to," Blaine repeats. "Which is why I'm asking you to wait. Just like that time you spent the night at Joe's and I had to wait for you."

"Okay," he murmurs as he falls back onto the pillow with a sigh, though Blaine can tell he isn't happy. 

"Know this, though, Kurt. I still love you, and nothing is wrong in our relationship at all, okay?"

"Sure?"

"I'm sure."

"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep," Kurt says, voice gone suddenly small and Blaine notices that he's crying. 

"Oh gorgeous boy," Blaine sighs as he takes him in his arms. "It's nothing bad, I promise. And I'm not going anywhere."

"Please don't. Not ever." 

He falls into a restless sleep eventually, but Blaine is woken several times in the night when Kurt shouts out in his sleep, moaning and thrashing around as he cries over and over for Blaine to stay with him. Blaine tries his best to soothe him, stroking back his damp hair from his forehead and holding him close until eventually Kurt wakes at dawn, groggy and disorientated and complaining of a headache. They head into the house to find painkillers, then sit in silence sipping at coffee until gradually the house begins to wake.

Kurt is pale and withdrawn on the flight home, prompting Sara to ask him a million and one times what is wrong, and begging Blaine to let them stay the night in Ohio, but Kurt is insistent that he will feel better in his own bed, and so they say their goodbyes and head home. 

"Right." Blaine says as soon as he's wheeled the suitcases into the bedroom. "What is it?"

"Huh?"

Blaine leads Kurt to the couch, where he perches nervously but Blaine tugs him back until he's resting in the corner, and then he takes Kurt's hands in his. "Last night I told you we needed to talk. Up until that moment you were fine. And then you freaked out on me. So what is it? I understand you might be worried, but I did my best to reassure you that we were okay. All night you've been crying out for me not to leave you, you've barely spoken all day and you look sick. I'd like to hear from you now, please. What do you think is wrong?" His direct words, and the firmness with which he delivers them surprises Kurt, who had thought he could get out of this by feigning illness, but it becomes quite apparent that Blaine won't stand for it. 

"You know," Kurt whispers shamefully. "I know that you know, and I feel so bad. I should have told you. I did just what I'm always telling you not to do, and then I told Cooper."

"What was it, Kurt?" Blaine urges gently, needing to hear it from him. "What did you tell him?"

"That I've been selected to study in England for six weeks," Kurt says, voice barely above a whisper.

"But you turned it down?"

"Of course I turned it down!" he cries incredulously. "What did you think I was going to do?"

"I don't know, Kurt. Talk to me about it, maybe?"

"What is there to talk about? I'm not going, and that's that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, and I'm sorry you had to find out from your brother, but I promise you, I'm not going anywhere," he smiles, his tone softening as he tries to reassure him.

"Still, I'd like to hear more about it, if that's okay?"

"Why?" 

"Because," Blaine answers firmly. 

"What'd you wanna know?" Kurt sighs petulantly, reminding Blaine of the fifteen year old he once was.

"Well you say selected. How many were picked?"

"Six," Kurt keeps his eyes downcast, refusing to look up as he speaks. 

"Out of?"

"The entire course."

"Wow," Blaine lets out a low whistle. "That's incredible. So what does it entail?"

"Studying at Central School of Speech and Drama. It's like an exchange program- they send six students here and we go there."

"And does it cost, or what?"

"You have to pay for your flights, obviously, and food. Accommodation is provided."

"Are any of your friends going?"

"Joe. He's...well he's just an incredible actor. I know you don't see him on stage but honestly, he's mesmerising to watch. The tutors are pretty sure he's gonna be the next big thing- probably in films. He doesn't do the singing and dancing so much- even though he's studying musical theatre."

"Wow. Good for him," Blaine smiles, happy to hear the pride in Kurt's voice as he talks about his friend. "I think you should go."

"What?" Kurt is on his feet instantly, cheeks flaming as he starts to yell. "Are you out of your mind? Or you just want rid of me for over a month?"

"Can you just listen?" Blaine asks calmly, gesturing for him to sit down.

"No! No I don't want to listen, because I told you, it's not an option!" Kurt is seething as he shouts louder and louder and all the while Blaine sits calmly, hands folded in his lap. "I don't want to go!"

"I think you do."

"You think? You think? Well I think you don't know me at all then. I am not going, I don't want to go and you can't make me go. If you want rid of me just dump me and have done with it, don't put me on a fucking plane to England!" 

"Will you just listen to yourself?" Blaine yells, finally losing his cool as he follows Kurt into the bedroom. "You sound like a child! This is why I didn't want to have this discussion back in LA, because I didn't want us to fight over it. I took my time, I processed my thoughts and I tried to have a mature conversation with you about it. But you're not prepared to hear me out! Don't expect me to sit there and listen to you yell at me and let you get away with it Kurt, because I won't. If you're not prepared to be adult about it then I'm not prepared to discuss it, but don't blame me in ten years time when you're sitting there thinking 'I really wish I'd taken all the opportunities afforded to me.' If you think that I won't miss you, you're very, very wrong. And if you think I'm suggesting this as a way to end our relationship, then you need to take a long, hard look at yourself Kurt, cause it's you who doesn't know me, not the other way around. Now I'm gonna leave you to sulk, like the petulant fifteen year old you seem to be intent on channelling at the moment, and when you're ready to talk in an adult manner, please come and find me in the music room." 

He slams the bedroom door hard and storms to the music room where he wastes no time in plugging in his headphones and sitting down at the piano, taking his anger and frustration out on Beethoven. He is left alone for a long time before the door creaks open and a timid, red eyed Kurt appears, sagging with relief when Blaine stops playing and pats the bench next to him.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispers. "I lost my temper and said some stuff that was inexcusable."

"Forgiven," Blaine says simply as he puts an arm around his shoulders. "But please try and keep that temper in check. It's not..." he sighs, trying to find the right words. "I don't mind you getting worked up about things that are justifiable. But all I was trying to do was talk with you. That's all. No recriminations, no judgement...and you just flew at me." 

"I'm sorry. I'm ready to listen, if you still want to talk."

"I do, because I feel this is important. Kurt... We have been together three and a half years. In that time you've done eighteen months of high school, you've graduated and completed your first year of college. We will be together for the rest of our days, there will never be another for either of us. But I don't want to ever be the reason you held back. It's why I would never have suggested you go to college anywhere other than NYADA. It's why I had to make sure about a million times that you were transferring to Chicago for you, and not to appease me. I don't want you, when you're thirty five, to sit there and think 'I wish I had' about anything... Especially if you held back because of me." 

Pausing, he formulates his words in his head carefully before continuing. "I did that, you see. I try not to live with regrets because ultimately my path has led me to you, but there is so much I wish I had done that I didn't. When I first met Luke I was asked to go on tour with Aerosmith. Now, I know that's a hilarious concept for you to grasp," he smiles as he notices Kurt's grin. "But they asked and I turned it down. A ten week world tour and I said no. I just wasted those ten weeks sitting in a huge loft apartment surrounded by people I couldn't stand who were getting stoned while I just sat on a couch and waited for my boyfriend to notice me. I wish I had gone. I wish I had tried to become a recording artist in my own right when I graduated, instead of hiding behind other people because I didn't have enough self belief. I wish I had tried to sell some of my songs. I wish I had gone to Luke that day I was told he was in a bad way, instead of waiting forty eight hours. Most of all I wish I hadn't put my parents and Wes through the hell that followed.  
Kurt... I don't want that to happen to us. I am more than aware that by living with me you miss out on all the dorm living and the real student lifestyle, but somehow I think you're much more suited to living in a chic apartment with a walk in closet," he teases gently. "But listen. You've been selected for this, that means they thought that you and five others are talented enough to represent your college. This is an amazing opportunity, and a chance to experience life in another country for a short while with your close friend by your side. I'll miss you a huge amount, and it will hurt. I don't know, maybe I could fly out and visit you halfway through?"

"Six weeks though," Kurt says quietly. "Six whole weeks."

"But what's six weeks when we have sixty years?" Blaine takes Kurt's left hand, running his thumb over the engagement ring. "I want you to go," he says, blinking back tears. "And I think that if you're honest with yourself, you want to go too."

"I'd leave in a month. We'd be apart for your birthday."

"Or we could spend it in London, together."

"I feel like a little kid," Kurt whispers.

"Why?" Blaine's voice is gentle, caring as he looks at him in concern.

"Because I just want someone to hold me while I cry and cry."

"I think I can manage that."

"It's not gonna be pretty," Kurt says, tears already starting to fall. "I'm talking full on bawling."

"You'll still be pretty to me."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt's voice cracks as he gives in and lets huge, gulping sobs take over his body. "I'm gonna miss you so much."


	18. Chapter 18

My dearest Kurt,

I'm writing this as you're flying high over the Atlantic Ocean. You have just embarked on the adventure of a lifetime, and I've just bought milk on the way back from the airport. I'll bet you're envious.

Please apologize to Joe on my behalf; I didn't mean to hug him that tightly. I also didn't mean to burst into tears and soak the collar of his shirt, it's just I knew saying goodbye to you was next. I remember, when I was around five, I fell over in the park and scraped my knee. It was just a scrape, nothing more, but I howled for what seemed like hours. I can remember my mom cradling me on her lap, smoothing my hair and saying "oh Blaine, you're not a very brave boy." Actually, knowing my mom there was probably a 'darling' in there somewhere, but you get the gist. 

And I'm not brave.

I tried to hold it together, I really did. And I feel somewhat bad because I wanted to be strong for you; to see you off with a cheery wave and a smile before turning around, coming home and breaking down completely. But I couldn't. I hope I didn't embarrass you too much. I fear the sight of a grown man fawning over a teenager while hysterically crying will come as alarming to many, and I sincerely hope the others on your trip don't spend the next six weeks thinking you're only engaged to me out of pity.

I can't wait to hear what London is like. I hope you get to room with Joe. That sounds terrible, hoping that my fiancé can spend six weeks sleeping with another man, but Joe doesn't count. He's far too into breasts. (I just typed the word 'breasts.')

I hope the weather is suitably early-fall like enough for you to get use of your new jacket. It feels nice to be able to buy you stuff again, even if Marc Jacobs prices are hideous. Remember to take photos of every damn monument, palace and royal person you see (I'm pretty sure the Queen is often wandering along the banks of the Thames) and send them to me.

If you happen to see Adam, walking through Camden town or whatever, feel free to tell him that we are still very much a thing, and shove your engagement ring happily in his face. Also tell him that we're using this time apart to become consummate professionals in the art of phone sex. 

Kurt, turning serious for a second, I am so, so incredibly proud of you. I know the decision to go on this trip wasn't easy for you, and I know you've been wrestling with your conscience about it. But it will be good for you, I promise. And remember, my flight is booked, and in twenty two days, four hours and sixteen minutes time, I'll be in your arms. Maybe slightly longer if there's a delay in customs. 

Be strong, my darling boy. I know we both feel that we are only strong with the other by our side, but that's not true. We are strong with the love of one another in our hearts. I am always with you Kurt. I am always loving you, holding you close and whispering words of encouragement in your ear. I am always holding your hand, smiling and kissing your soft hair. You can do this, I know you can. London will love you, and you will love London. 

As for me...I'm going to use this time for multiple purposes. I have some songs I've been working on which I'd like to finish. I want to paint the second bedroom, I need to return the large stack of library books you left on the kitchen counter, and I need to make friends. I mean, I have friends (Santana is visiting next weekend, lord help me) but I don't actually have any friends in Chicago- except you and Joe and you've both gone away together, which is rather inconvenient. So I'm going to talk to some people at open mic night, and also maybe ask some of the guys at the studio if they want to grab a beer sometime. They've asked me before but I'm usually wanting to get home to you, so I decline.

Six weeks will fly by, and before we know it you'll be back here, and we can decide on a wedding venue and date. I know times will be tough, and I know we will both experience a wide range of emotions at various stages during the time we're apart, but if we can just keep our love at the center of it all, we'll be fine. In your suitcase (I'm assuming you haven't unpacked already) you'll find a stack of letters tied with a red ribbon. They have instructions on the front. Obey those instructions (I know, I know) and any letters left when you get back we can open together.

Okay, I need to go fold the laundry and collapse into uncontrollable sobs when I take your pajamas from the dryer. I love you, my gorgeous boy.

Always yours,  
B. xxx

*

Kurt closes his iPad and dashes from the coffee shop. He runs the short distance back to his dorms, narrowly avoiding a bus when he remembers the traffic moves in the wrong direction, and takes the stairs to his and Joe's fourth floor room two at a time. He finds Joe on the stairs, somewhere between the second and third floor on his way down, but Kurt grabs his hand and spins him around. 

"Come with me," he pants as he tugs him back to their room. Throwing open the door, he moves to his suitcase- still standing there from when he'd dumped it and set out in search of wifi. He throws open the lid and rummages through the piles of neatly pressed clothes until he finds the letters. Holding them tight to his chest, he looks up at a very confused Joe and explains. 

"From Blaine. He says they have instructions on the front and I have to obey them- so I want you to see too, so that you can make sure I don't cheat." 

He sits on his bed and tugs at the red ribbon, before laying each of the envelopes out. "Oh my gosh," he gasps, hand flying to cover his mouth in surprise. "Joe, look."

Joe walks over to the bed, eyes going wide when he takes in the handwritten envelopes. He counts quickly. "Fifty," he whispers softly. "He's written you fifty letters."

Written neatly on the front of each envelope is a different instruction. "Open this when you're feeling sad," is the first one Kurt sees, and he picks it up with a trembling hand, but then decides to look at some others. "Open this when you can't sleep." "Open this when you want to laugh." "Feel like reminiscing? Open this one." "Open this to be reminded of why you're my gorgeous boy." "Open this if you're feeling horny- make sure you are ALONE." "Open this when you need a confidence boost." "Open this if you have a hangover." "Had a good day? Open this one!" 

And on and on, until Kurt can't see properly through his tears to decide which to go for. 

"He did all this for me," he whispers brokenly as Joe kneels on the floor and hugs him tight. 

"I'm just gonna...go marry Blaine for myself," he says over Kurt's shoulder, making him laugh. "Here, read this one. I'll wait downstairs for you and then we can go get coffee." He hands Kurt an envelope and retreats, closing the door softly behind him. 

*

"Open this when you have just arrived in London, it's all a bit new and overwhelming and you're a little bit tearful."

Gorgeous boy,

So you're there safe. Probably, knowing you, you've not unpacked but rather have found a wifi spot to read the email I will have sent, and also to update your Facebook status because heaven forbid that the entire world is not alerted to your change of location ;)

There's a little coffee shop near your dorms. Walk out of your building, turn right and then take the second left. The coffee shop is halfway down that road, it's called "Franco's" and apparently (according to Jonathan) it serves really great Italian coffee. I hope so, anyway. Because they are in possession of a large amount of my money- enough for coffee and cake each day for six weeks for you and Joe. So do this, and think of me. (I sound like Jesus) 

Jonathan works in the City Tuesday thru Friday. His studio card is in this envelope. Please call him. He wants to take you out for dinner, and he has also invited you and Joe to stay with him and Teresa one weekend in Hampshire.

So go, get coffee, eat cake and love me, my gorgeous boy, as I am loving you.

B xxx

*

Blaine,

Where to start? I guess I'll respond to your email first. You did disgrace yourself in the airport, but both Joe and I can find forgiveness in our hearts because you have kindly provided us with the most amazing coffee and cakes for the duration of our stay- and I'll come to that in a moment. To be honest, I was no better. The tears you witnessed were only the start. The floodgates really opened when we were in the departure lounge and they gave our boarding call. It was only made worse when the flight attendant asked Joe if his boyfriend was okay, and he answered that his boyfriend was sad because he had just said goodbye to his fiancé. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the look on her face. I chose to cry.

London is....different. Beautifully, wonderfully different. The buildings, the buses, the sense of history and great British pride....everything. Of course, it only makes me miss you more, even though it's only been twenty four hours, because everywhere I go I keep thinking 'I wish Blaine could see this.' And it's warm! Boo! The jacket is hanging in my closet looking all forlorn. Our campus guide, Helen, said September is often really nice weather. I shot her the evils. Doesn't she understand how offended Marc will be if I won't wear his jacket? We've had our orientation, and they talked us through what we're going to be studying while we're here. We also get to go on a tour of a west end theatre which- as you can imagine- I flailed over. The six weeks end with a performance showcase- each of us gets to perform two pieces and various managers and casting directors are invited to attend to see if they want to scout us for the future. To be honest, I'm hoping they don't. I have a wedding to plan.

Talking of which.... Seeing as neither Illinois nor Ohio have legalized same sex marriage yet, I was thinking maybe.... LA? As in.... Cooper's house? We can talk about it over the phone of course, it's just something for you to think about. 

Some more points from your email. If I return home and that second bedroom is painted in anything remotely pertaining to the color beige, you can consider us done. I know you, Blaine Anderson, and I know you like to play it safe. Don't.   
Second point: If I see Adam I will be running in the opposite direction....after I've shoved my engagement ring in his face of course. Rumor has it that London is quite large though, so the likelihood of me running into him is slim.   
Third point: You are thirty five (or you will be when I see you next) get over the word breasts.

So...here's where I get serious I guess. Don't ever tell me you're not brave. This is the man who has been fighting for me for four years. You fought for our friendship to survive. You fought against your feelings, giving me time to grow and become my own person before daring to have enough courage to ask me on a date. You fought to keep me, when my world was spiralling out of control around me, you were my constant. You fought to love me, when I was lashing out and hurting you. You gave up your life, your safety net that you had so carefully crafted around you, just to follow me to New York because you couldn't stand to be without me. If that isn't brave, I don't know what is. 

And your letters, Blaine. Your letters. How? When? And I would ask why, but I know the answer would be 'because I wanted to.' You've done some pretty romantic stuff for one who claims to be so hopeless at it, but this...this is in another league. I have obeyed your instructions and so far have only opened the first one, but I can't wait to see the others. (I haven't felt horny yet, but that has my curiosity aroused.) 

Really, you owe me an apology. You made me look a complete fool in public when I first arrived at Franco's and my mocha was set down in front of me with a little post it in your handwriting saying love from Blaine. I don't even know how you got that note to him, but thank you. I sobbed. 

I have text Jonathan and we're meeting on Thursday. It will be good to see him again, and we will be arranging a weekend to go out to Hampshire with him (wherever the hell Hampshire is.) 

So that's it, I guess. For now, anyway. I miss you, I miss your voice and your sparkly eyes. I miss your beautiful smile and I miss your touch. Everywhere. Sleeping with Joe is not the same. (Don't freak, we do have separate beds, but they're tiny!). 

I love you so much, Blaine. 

Always yours,  
K xxx

*

My dearest Kurt,

There is nothing wrong with beige.

Always yours,  
B xxx

*

"Open this when you can't sleep"

GO TO SLEEP!

Why can't you sleep? Is it because you're jet lagged? Does Joe snore really loudly? (He surely cannot rival you) Did you have a bad dream? Or, like me, is it because it just feels so weird to be apart?

Do something for me. When you've finished reading this letter, tuck it under your pillow. Hidden inside the pocket of your green tartan pajamas is a handkerchief which has been liberally doused with my aftershave. Change into the pajamas, take the handkerchief and hold it tight. It's not my arms around your waist, nor my head on your chest, but it's the best I can do. 

Know that I am loving you always, and I would do anything to hold you right now. Sweet dreams, my gorgeous boy.

B xxx

*

Blaine,

I opened the 'can't sleep' letter last night. We had just spoken on the phone, I was over emotional and just lying there in the darkness when I remembered that I didn't have to feel so alone. Waking up this morning with that handkerchief still in my hand just made everything better. I felt ready to face the day- and what a day it has been. To be honest, I've been too busy today to miss you much and I hope that doesn't sound terrible, but I'm kinda glad because these last 72 hours have been quite hard. I know we've been parted before, but it feels so far away. 

Anyway, we had a dance class which was just deadly. I'm surprised I can still walk. I've met a couple of British girls who seem nice, I think Joe and I are meeting them in a pub this evening- if my legs can still hold me upright by that time. I have to do tap dancing, Blaine. Tap. Yes, I know you're wiping away tears of laughter.

I would like to know one thing, did you supply Franco with six weeks worth of post-its? Because everyday there's one stuck to my drink. Franco is awesome. I can't wait for you to meet him, and you have to try his biscotti, it's to die for. Joe and I are heavily indebted to you. 

I have to go, I have a class in Shakespeare. Overrated if you ask me, but the Brits seem to dig him.

Always yours,  
K xxx

*

My dearest KUUUUUUUUUURT!!!

You have hidden post it notes EVERYWHERE!! All different colored heart shaped ones!!!   
The fact that I've only just found them, and you've been gone four days, will alert you to the fact that I've not done much since you left. But I had to work today, so I actually had to locate clean clothes. I opened my sock drawer and found the first one. 

"Hey, old man! Kurt loves you."

Well, that, coupled with the one I found in the glove box when I went looking for gum- "looking for gum? Here it is! I love you xxx" just about finished me. It's hard, meeting advertising executives with red rimmed eyes while simultaneously grinning like a fool. Still, at least it was the Kendall's execs, and they know me pretty well by now. 

Clearly you do too, because attached to the box of Cheerios I reached for when I got home was this: "Oh no you don't, Blaine. Just because it's been a long day doesn't mean cereal is the answer. Cook something healthy."  
So I made pasta. I hope you're happy.

I'm tempted to ransack the whole apartment to search for the rest, but I rather like the thought of stumbling upon them unexpectedly. I realized I never got back to you on the whole getting married in LA thing. I'd love to, it sounds perfect, but we need to work out how we would organize getting all our family and friends there and where they would all stay (that pool house is OURS.)

Santana arrives on Friday- and guess what? Wes is coming up with Kathy!! They're staying in a hotel though and just meeting us on Saturday afternoon and then again for dinner. I think Wes was fearful of Kathy spending too much time with Santana. 

Anyway, I'm gonna go, and I'll look forward to our phone call later.

One more thing, I do believe that calling the greatest British playwright to have ever lived 'overrated'- especially while resident in that country- can have you sent to the tower.

Always yours,  
B xxx

*  
"Open this when you're hungover*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all.

*

"I hate you," Kurt moans into the phone.

"You're hungover, aren't you?"

"Yes, and I opened the note. I thought it would be cute and caring, and maybe contain Advil, but no."

"No. Sorry about that, I couldn't resist. I take it you had a good night?"

"I think I did. But I missed you terribly."

"I'll be there soon."

"Seventeen days," Kurt moans. 

"Soon." Blaine repeats. "Are you okay? Other than the hangover, I mean."

"Yes and no " Kurt replies honestly. "I feel...I feel okay. And then I feel bad because I feel okay, like maybe I'm not missing you as much as I should do."

"Don't feel bad about that," Blaine reassures. "I'm happy you feel that way." 

"But then, during class, I have these moments where I just want to run and run until I find your arms again."

"Why during class?"

"They're all so good, Blaine," Kurt whispers as if fearful of being overheard, even though his is alone in his room. "Seriously, amazingly good. And then there's me. And it's not just the ballet either. It's all of it. At the moment the boys are all working on Love Changes Everything and they're just incredible...and I can't hit the notes."

"I'm sure you can, I've never known you not."

"It's too low."

"Oh. Well tell them then," Blaine urges. "Ask to sing it in a different key."

"I can't, I'll feel so dumb," Kurt says, and there's a hint of tears in his voice. 

Blaine feels his heart lurch, suddenly so keenly aware of the distance that separates them as he longs to take Kurt in his arms. "Letter," he chokes out, aware that he is moments away from crying. "I...I don't think I can be much use to you like this.... I'm sorry, but it's just too hard for me to hear you getting upset and not be able to help. So there's a letter, that I wrote when I was feeling much stronger and I was in a better position to give you advice. It says about if you're feeling insecure. Just...read it. I'll call you back in twenty minutes, okay?" 

*

"Feeling insecure? Don't. Read this instead."

Ten reasons why Kurt Hummel is wonderful, by Blaine Anderson. 

1\. Kurt, you can love like no other. Not just the way you love me, but the way you love your family and friends so completely. The way you have taken my rabble of a family on board and loved them as if they had always been in your life. You have no idea how much this means to me, or my parents. 

2\. You bake the best cookies ever. This cannot be rivaled. And bread. And chicken. Not pie- that's mom's domain. But your cookies are perfection. Now I'm hungry.

3\. You don't give up. You had so much shit thrown at you during high school. At the end of your sophomore year I feared you may never graduate. When everything happened in junior year, I thought maybe the best thing for you would be to move schools- I even asked Wes if there were any places at Dalton, but you didn't give up. You graduated, and became stronger than ever because of your amazing ability to tackle adversity head on.

4\. You do this thing, when you're blowing me. You know which thing I'm referring to. I need say no more, except that it just confirms your awesomeness. (I really hope you're alone!)

5\. You talk me down. Whenever I'm stressed, or worked up about something, you're there. When we had no money you were just....wonderful. So matter of fact, so strong and you picked me up, dusted me off and we carried on. I would have sunk without you during that time. 

6\. Sometimes, if I'm really good, you handcuff me to the headboard and take me. (I'm a little bit horny if you hadn't noticed)

7\. The future. The fact that, since we started dating when you were only sixteen, you have always been happy to discuss it. You only freaked out once, but then you were just about to meet my parents for the first time, so I'll let you off. But I can tell you this and know you'll smile: One day, we will hold our newborn baby in our arms, and it will be the best thing ever.

8\. You buy me flowers. I just love that you buy me flowers. And, if you ever stop, I will have just cause to sing 'you don't bring me flowers anymore' 

9\. Kurt, YOU ARE INCREDIBLY TALENTED. Don't ever, ever think otherwise. Where to even start with the wealth of talent you possess? You can dance like a gazelle. It really turns me on. But you know that already. You say your ballet is weak, but I don't buy it. When I came to see that end of year performance, you were in line with the others in your class, and when you did that number from cabaret, holy fucking hell! (But I think the sex that night conveyed my feelings adequately) Your singing is just phenomenal. Your voice does something to me, yes, but it's more than that. Remember who got the highest grade in their class? Who could it be? You, maybe? Oh yes, you. You hit every note, every time. I love our after dinner piano sessions. You can act too, a triple threat, and the others on your course should be running scared, cause no one can compete with you. 

10\. You proposed to me. And this alone, is the single, most awesome thing you have ever, ever done. 

I love you.

*

"I should add that you hide little post it notes everywhere," Blaine sniffs when he calls Kurt back. "I opened the new pack of toilet roll earlier."

Kurt laughs loudly through his tears, and louder still when Blaine joins in. "Oh my god I'd forgotten about that one!" he cries. "Oh boy!"

"Would you like me to remind you what the note said?"

"I can remember!" Kurt laughs. "It said, 'have you really been jerking off that much, Anderson? Either that or you've been eating that ridiculously hot curry again, in which case, clean that bathroom thoroughly.'"

"Yes it did," Blaine laughs, "and that is another reason why you are awesome."

"So which was it?"

"The curry," Blaine says quietly as Kurt roars. "It's not funny! I wish it was the other." 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs happily. "You've made me feel so much better."

"Good, I'm glad." 

"And I'd like to make you feel better...."

"Yes!" Blaine cries eagerly.

"But I can't. I have to go. I'm so sorry. I'm meeting Jonathan."

"Okay," Blaine says, trying not to let his disappointment show, "I have work to do anyway."

He works steadily that afternoon, trying to focus on his music and not on the stirrings of emotion Kurt had brought on with that phone call, but by dinner time he gives up and makes his way to the back of the closet to find the box simply marked 'Kurt and Blaine's box.' He takes it from the shelf and carries it to the bed where he lifts the lid and laughs loudly when a post it flutters out. 

"Don't even think about getting off on a dildo without calling me, you horny bastard." 

He picks up his phone and dials, hoping against hope that given that it's nearly midnight in England, Kurt will be home but still awake. 

"You went for the toys, didn't you?" comes the swift reply, and Blaine laughs, embarrassed. 

"I did."

"Lucky for you, Joe is out somewhere and I am all alone and very, very horny. Lie back, old man, and let your fiancé take care of you." 

They lie on their respective beds after, sated but unsatisfied. "It's not the same, is it?" Blaine whispers as tears roll down his cheeks. 

"No. No it's not." Kurt sighs and rolls onto his front, pushing a pile of tissues to the floor. "But we needed a release, I guess."

"We did, and in the moment it feels great," Blaine agrees. "But I miss holding you so much. Phone sex is fun...but usually it's only a few days until I see you, and now..."

"It's not."

"No."

"I miss your hugs more than anything," Kurt whispers, unable to stop his own tears now they've started. "You make me feel so safe, so loved."

"My boy," Blaine says, voice cracking as a sob escapes. 

"Will you sing me to sleep?"

"Anything for you, Kurt, anything."


	19. Chapter 19

Blaine,

You think you're funny, don't you?

I had a really crap day today. First, I was late. Joe didn't come home last night (I think he's 'introduced' himself to half the ladies in London) and I've been relying on him to wake me up, so therefore I skidded to class ten minutes late- sweating already- to go straight into two hours of dance. Killer.

Then I went right on to acting class, only to discover we're doing Pinter. I like Pinter, really, I do. But it's so...not me, I guess. Anyhow, so that really dragged me down. I got out around two, and I was starving. I walked to this sandwich place Joe and I have found, stood in line and ordered, only to discover I had left my wallet in my room. I had no Joe, and no money. And you know what? They wouldn't let me have my sandwich, Blaine. They would not let me. That wouldn't happen in the good ole US of A. No way. I told them I'd go home, get their stupid four English pounds and bring it right back, but no. Despite the fact that we've been going there almost daily for lunch for two weeks.   
Well they can bugger right off (how British am I?!) because I went to Franco's, got my love from Blaine mocha and biscotti and he made me a sandwich for free too. 

So, I get back to my dorm and decide to see if Rachel is around for FaceTime before she goes to class. Yes she is. Only she's had another almighty row with Finn and spends the entire time screeching at me to tell him this, tell him that. I hate it when she's like that because...because it's like she's not my friend. It's more like she's talking to me because she wants to anger my brother. Ugh.

Anyway, I was incredibly pissed off, and I rifled through the letters to find "open this if you need to laugh."

I don't know, Blaine, what I expected to find. It wasn't a photo montage of my entire friends and family pulling the most ridiculous faces known to man, with you in the center in a variety of goofball poses. How did you do all this? I'm in awe. I have messages for you to pass on.

Dad and Carole: If the wind changes.....

Finn: That's how you always look when you wake up.

Mercedes: Gurrl, no. Just no.

Rachel and Santana: Only you two could have the brief to pull a dumb face and end up looking like lesbian vampires.

Seb: Always sexual with you, always.

Wes: I can see Kathy's reflection in your sunglasses! Squee!

Nick and Jeff: I should call the cops.

Mike and Sara: I see you passed your natural ability to look completely deranged onto both your children.

Cooper and Claire: See above.

Maddie and Tay: See a guidance counsellor.

Tina, Quinn, Sam and Artie: I used to think you relatively pretty. Especially you, Fabray. How the mighty have fallen.

Everyone else: Mr Schue, Mike, Brittany, Brad the piano guy, and on and on..... You're all crazy.

And you, my adorable, goofball of a fiancé, who can puff out his cheeks, pull on his ears, stick his tongue out and still be handsome.... You made me laugh. 

Always yours,  
K xxx

*

My dearest Kurt,

Was your Pinter pause....deliberate?

I'm glad I made you laugh, and that took a long time to put together, and I had to contact Will Schuester just for you. His face was epic though.

Seven days, Kurt. One week. That's all.

I might not ever let you go. 

Oh, since we last talked, I have found three more post it's. I needed to change the lightbulb in the hall lamp. You actually hid a note in the box of spare bulbs. And I made mac and cheese. It is not lazy, Kurt, not everyone can make cheese sauce from scratch like you. Still, you knew I'd be in that box at some point during your absence, right? And the third one was tucked in the pocket of your sweat pants. You knew which pair I'd go for, didn't you? And this:

My darling Blaine, I know you've only put these on because you're feeling lonely. Remember I am always in your heart xxx

Finished me. 

I remain, as ever, always yours.

B xxx

*

"Open this if you need a little pick me up."

Heyyyyyy!

Don't feel sad. I'm kinda hoping you've opened this when you're feeling just a little down rather than all out beside yourself with pain and anguish, because otherwise the solution will seem a little crass. 

Whatever the reason, when you're blue I have a few 'go to' ways that I use to make you smile again, so I'm gonna try and replicate that as best I can. 

1\. Call Jonathan's office. Ask for Tracy. Tell her it's Kurt Hummel calling and you read the letter. The rest will follow.

2\. Enclosed in this letter is a prepaid Visa card for you and Joe to get dinner somewhere stupidly extravagant. Make sure Joe has to wear a tie, it'll be funny to watch him squirm ;)

3\. Also in this envelope is a password. Open your laptop and in documents you'll find a password protected file- this opens it.

My fourth go to method would be sex, obviously. So you can count this as an IOU.

Smile, Kurt, and the whole world smiles with you.

*

Blaine,

1\. Tracy (whoever she is) screamed and told me I had the best fiancé ever. Then she hung up before calling me back twenty minutes later to tell me that the menswear department at House of Fraser were expecting me. Off I go, only to discover that said best fiancé ever has given me a £500 budget to spend there. It's almost as if you know me. (My wardrobe thanks you.) (I used wardrobe instead of closet. I need to leave.)

2\. Joe and I dined at Nobu- it's a fancy sushi restaurant. I wore the new outfit I had gotten with the above budget, and Joe wore a tie. Not just a tie. Clothes as well. I took pictures. We had a lot of fun. (My stomach thanks you.)

3\. I am tempted to bust that password protected file open, burn it all onto a cd and march right around to Sony. Blaine....it's incredible. All our songs that mean so much. You've taken the time and effort to record each one. It was so wonderful to hear your voice like that. Of course, by the end of it I was a sobbing, useless mess, and I might have sought comfort in Joe's arms for so long that he stood his date up. Oops. Blaine.... My heart thanks you.

As for number 4.... THREE MORE DAYS!!! 

Always yours,  
K xxx

* 

Kurt stands, or rather bounces impatiently, watching the incoming flights board. Finally he sees that flight AA674 from Chicago has landed, and he lets out a small whoop of excitement before smiling apologetically at the woman next to him. 

"My fiancé," he explains, and she smiles. 

"I was the same once," she laughs, "now I'm waiting for my daughter."

The landed status eventually changes to 'In Luggage Hall' and Kurt finds himself gripping the barrier so tight his knuckles are turning white. Each time the automatic doors from arrivals open, he tries desperately to see inside, hoping to catch a glimpse of black curls, and then he's there. 

Blaine.

Dragging his suitcase, looking tired but oh so happy, his whole face lights up in the biggest possible grin as Kurt vaults the barrier and runs towards him.

"Blaine! Blaine! Oh, my Blaine!" he shrieks as he leaps into his arms and finally, finally they are holding each other tight again. 

Blaine's hands splay strong across his back as he tilts his face to capture Kurt's lips with his own, not caring who is looking on as they kiss for the longest time. Pulling away breathless, Blaine proceeds to shower Kurt's face with kisses, never seemingly able to get enough.

"You came," Kurt whispers happily into his ear. "You came."

"I love you," Blaine murmurs into his hair as he hugs him tight once more. "Oh how I love you." 

"Oh god, you're crying," Kurt laughs through his own cascade of tears. "You always cry."

"So are you," Blaine smiles. "We're disgraceful. With that, and passionate kissing in the middle of arrivals, I'd say we should probably move on." He sets Kurt down on his feet and picks up his suitcase once more. "Where are we going?"

"Huh? Oh! Train! Train. We need to uh...yeah." 

"You okay?"

"No," he replies honestly as he swipes at his eyes once more. "I'm completely overwhelmed, and I don't think I can stop touching you."

"Then don't," Blaine tells him as he takes his hand tight, "why do you need to?"

"I don't I guess, I just...it seems weird. Having you here, when you've seemed so far away for so long."

Blaine swings their clasped hands between them, grinning. "Well here I am. And I'm all yours." 

They don't let go of each other for the duration of their journey and Kurt keeps his arm wrapped protectively around Blaine's waist as he shows him how to use his spare Oyster card.

"I wonder why they call it that?" Blaine says as he swipes the card and pushes through the barrier. 

"Because the world is your....?" Kurt provides as they hold hands on the platform.

"Pearl?" Blaine asks in confusion.

"Oyster," Kurt says with a laugh.

"Oh. Oh!" Blaine's face lights up as he gets it. "Sorry. Not quite with it," he adds with an apologetic grin. 

Kurt kisses his lips sweetly but quickly, mindful of the busy platform and not wanting to put on too much of a display, so he links his arm through Blaine's instead, ushering him onto the train as it arrives. 

"So I was thinking we could go to your hotel first, then I could show you my dorms, and you can say hi to Joe."

"Sure. Um... Kurt, I didn't ask this before but...will you stay with me? At the hotel, I mean."

"Where else did you think I'd be staying?" Kurt asks as he runs his thumb over Blaine's engagement ring. "I'm not staying in my dorm room while you're ten minutes away in some posh hotel!" 

"Oh, okay," Blaine laughs a breathy laugh in relief. "It's just we didn't talk about it before hand, that's all." 

A silence ensues as the train hurtles them into the city. They keep tight hold of one another, but Blaine stares at his shoes while Kurt glances around the carriage looking at the other passengers. 

"This is weird, isn't it?" he says eventually, nervously. "Blaine, why is this weird?" 

"I don't know," he sighs. "I guess... I guess because it's an alien situation. I've had about three hours sleep in a cramped airplane, it's all hustle and bustle about us and we're not really sure how to act. We're comfortable in Chicago whereas here... We're not really sure how far to push it and I for one am mindful of the fact that if I give you even the tiniest of kisses right now, I'll end up ravishing you."

"I like it when you do that," Kurt smiles. "So it's not us then? We're not weird?"

"We're very weird," Blaine laughs, "but I know what you mean, and no. We're not. Let's just get to the hotel, close that door behind us and I'm pretty sure we both will find that we're fine." 

They navigate successfully through London- Blaine in awe of everything and continuously snapping pictures on his phone- and finally arrive at his hotel. He checks in and they head for the elevator, the excitable tension between them palpable as they stand leaning on opposite walls, suppressing grins when they are joined by a large group of business men. 

"You here for the conference?" one of them asks, nodding curtly to Blaine.

"Uh no, no I'm here to visit my fiancé," Blaine answers politely. 

"Ah yes!" the man laughs knowingly. "I see."

"He's uh...he's just over there," Blaine says, pointing over the man's shoulder to where Kurt offers a timid wave. 

"Oh."

"Well....this is us," Blaine says brightly as the elevator doors open. "enjoy your conference." 

They burst into laughter as they walks swiftly down the corridor together, Kurt clutching Blaine's arm for support. "Oh my god, did you see his face?" 

"I did! He didn't know what to say. He totally thought I was here to get laid."

"You are, aren't you?" Kurt stops in the hallway, raising an inquiring eyebrow at Blaine, who stares for a moment and shrugs.

"I'd damn well better be."

They break into laughter once more, still sniggering as they open the door to the room and step inside.

"Kuuuurt!" Blaine leaves his suitcase inside the doorway as he runs to the large bouquet of flowers by the enormous window, and the bucket holding champagne. "You did this?"

"I didn't want to give you just cause to sing that song," he says with a small shrug. 

"C'mere." 

He goes, but so does Blaine as they meet in the center of the room and then they're in each other's arms once more, clinging to one another so tightly that the very air is squeezed from their lungs. 

"I have missed you so much," Blaine murmurs, pulling back slightly to run a hand reverently over Kurt's cheek. 

They join lips slowly, softly, the lightest of touches which makes them both gasp then smile as they lean in for more. And there they stay, kissing passionately as their hands run into each other's hair, tongues winding together as they just....kiss, unable to get enough. They break apart, each panting for breath with their hair mussed, lips swollen and eyes blown to black, and smile dopily at each other. 

"It's not weird anymore," Kurt whispers, leaning in to kiss the corner of Blaine's mouth once more- just because he can.

"Do we....do we...um...have like a specific time to be at your dorms or...?"

"No," Kurt says, a smile playing on his lips. "Why?"

"Well....you might think this is really strange, but I just want to be naked with you," Blaine laughs.

"You just want to be naked with me?"

"I just do."

"Well who am I to refuse?" Kurt grins as he pulls his shirt over his head. 

They shed their clothes quickly, Blaine pulling back the covers on the large bed and jumping inside, patting the space next to him for Kurt, who crawls across the bed and falls into his arms. 

"Oh my god," Kurt moans happily as their bodies press together. “Home.”

Blaine says nothing, only stares into Kurt’s eyes as he runs his hands reverently over his body. Kurt brings his hands up between them, smoothing over Blaine’s chest and then over his five o’clock shadow before he brings his lips to his once more. The softest of sighs, the most tender and loving of kisses and the gentle caress of loving hands are all that is shared between them for the longest time, neither wanting to push for more, both enjoying reconnecting after three long weeks of being apart. 

“I love you,” Kurt smiles eventually, nudging his nose against Blaine’s. “I can't even begin to tell you how much I’ve missed your face.”

“Same,” Blaine agrees. “Santana thought it weird that we hadn’t talked over facetime or anything but...I don't know...I kinda felt like...”

“It would make my absence more real?”

“Yes.” Blaine smiles as he realizes Kurt understands him perfectly. “You’re not offended, are you?”

“No, because I feel the same. I knew if I saw your face I’d lose it, and I don’t know if I could pull myself back from that. I miss you- but it’s mostly manageable. There are times when I cry, or feel lonely, but most of the time I’m actually having fun. And that was the point of this, was it not? To give me an amazing experience. And I want to have that.”

“Good,” Blaine says emphatically. “You should want that for yourself. I would hate this face to drag you down,” he laughs as he points to himself. 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Kurt grins. “Tell me about you though, honestly, how have you been?”

“Hmm, okay, I guess,” Blaine muses. He turns on his back to stare at the ceiling, pulling Kurt tight to his side. “I think...I’m not trying for pity or anything...but I think it’s harder on the one left behind. Everything is new and exciting here for you, whereas I’m in the same place, in the same routine but without you, and the hole where you were is gaping wide open. I notice it most in the morning when you’re not there for me to wake up, and I’ve still been waking up at six as if you were needing to get up for college. Then it’s a normal day until the evening again, and that's when it hurts. Like really hurts, like a punch to the gut. I’ve been running a lot.”

“I had noticed,” Kurt smiles as he runs his hand over Blaine’s well defined stomach muscles. 

“Yeah, um...well...I like to keep young- or try to, at least.” He smiles, embarrassed, “so I go running, to kill some time, and I’ve been writing a lot. But ultimately, when I sit down to eat I can't escape the fact that you’re not there and of course the biggest thing is that you’re not in my bed each night. This is what I miss most of all,” he says as he tightens his arms around Kurt. “Holding you, or being held by you. We just fit together.”

“So...when I ask you how you’ve been, and you say ‘okay, I guess,’ what you really mean is?”

“I’ve been fucking miserable and I am so glad to have you back by my side, even if only for five days,” Blaine rushes out as his eyes fill with tears. “You make me complete, Kurt. I don’t want to do this without you, and I’m so glad I don’t have to.” 

Kurt says nothing, only reaches for the back of his neck to pull him into a deep kiss which leaves them both wanting more as Blaine hooks his leg over Kurt’s waist and draws him closer. Things escalate quickly, both now needing to reconnect with their bodies as well as their souls. 

“I need you,” Blaine whimpers as Kurt teases his entrance with his finger. 

“I know you do,” Kurt nods, pushing one finger inside and running a soothing hand over Blaine’s thigh. “I need you too.”

He stretches Blaine quickly, needing to be inside, to feel his heat surrounding him once more and making them both whole again. He enters him slowly, forcing himself to wait and not rush, to savor every second as Blaine arches his back and cries out softly until finally he can push no further and he leans down to kiss Blaine’s lips once more. 

“You are so beautiful.”

Four simple words which open the floodgates for Blaine, who can't help the tears which Kurt happily kisses away. 

“You are,” Kurt whispers. “You really are.” 

“Thank you,” Blaine says with a small sniff. “You can move now.”

“Oh!” Kurt laughs, cheeks going pink. “I totally got lost in the moment there. Move. Yes. Move.”

They both get the giggles for a second, until Kurt does move and Blaine’s eyes go wide. “Oh shit that’s good,” he whispers as he reaches to clutch at Kurt’s back. 

Their pace builds steadily, punctuated by soft kisses and whispered I love you’s. Blaine brings his legs up to wrap around Kurt’s waist, who buries his head into the crook of Blaine’s neck and marks the tender flesh there as he drives steadily in and out. Both are trembling before long, and as soon as Kurt feels Blaine clenching around him, he lets go too, filling him repeatedly before collapsing hard on top of him. 

“Um...ow,” comes Blaine’s muffled voice. 

“Not moving.”

“Okay.” Blaine accepts his fate, winding his arms around Kurt’s neck and nuzzling just under his ear. “I like it when we make love like that. Mind you, I like it when we do anything. I like it when we come accidentally because we’ve been grinding and it gets out of control. I like it when we sixty nine. I really like that.”

“Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Be quiet.”

Kurt pulls out and reaches for the tissues, cleaning Blaine’s stomach before settling back into his side once more. 

“You’re crying,” Blaine points out as he feels the wetness on his chest. “It’s usually me.” 

“I know. Jeez,” he sighs as he sits again to wipe at his eyes. “You’ve only just got here and already I’m worrying about saying goodbye.”

“Then we won’t say goodbye,” Blaine smiles as he sits too and rests their foreheads together. When I leave it’s only seventeen days until you come home. So we’ll say see you later, or just nothing at all, and we’ll part with a kiss. But in the meantime, don’t be sad, my darling boy. We’re together. Let’s make the most of it.”

“We just did,” Kurt says, and he can’t help but laugh. 

“True. Now hold me for a while until we absolutely have to get dressed. And by the way,” Blaine says as he settles his head onto Kurt’s chest. “I haven’t only just got here, I landed four hours ago.”

“An hour to get from the plane to here....” Kurt murmurs. “Holy hell, we’ve been in bed for three hours?”

“Pretty much. Yeah. Just kinda...staring at each other. And kissing. Lots and lots of kissing.” 

“Joe will think I’ve died.”

“Joe will know exactly what you’re doing,” Blaine laughs.

“Well, old man,” Kurt says, reluctantly extracting himself from Blaine’s arms, “we had better go and be sociable. I told Franco we'd be in for lunch, though that’s passed. Even so. Are you ready to taste the best biscotti ever?”

“Do I get to taste you later?”

“Of course.”

“Then let’s go.”


	20. Chapter 20

“And I say to Kurt, Kurt! You bring your boy in so I can see him an say to his face he silly romantic!” Franco exclaims happily as he sets Blaine’s coffee down in front of him. “But Kurt, he silly romantic too- look!” he points to Blaine’s cup, complete with a post it saying ‘Love from Kurt xxx’ 

Blaine nudges Kurt with his shoulder and smiles shyly as Kurt raises his own ‘Love from Blaine’ mocha with a grin. “Two can play at that game, Anderson.”

“So happy!” Franco claps his hands delightedly as he heads back to the kitchen. “Franco is so happy!”

“Kurt, he’s crazy,” Blaine hisses once Franco is out of sight. “How the hell did Jonathan ever find him?” 

“He’s not crazy, he’s just a little...over exuberant,” Kurt smiles. “You doing okay there?”

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed with it all. Tired, too."

“We can go back and take a nap if you want?”

“No, no. I’ll be better to push on through I think. Besides, I haven’t even seen Joe yet.”

“He’ll be along soon. Class gets out in ten minutes, and it’s only down the road.”

“Class? Kurt, you didn’t say you have class?”

“I have class all day every day,” Kurt shrugs. “I’m allowed to miss one day to pick my fiancé up from the airport. Besides, it’s Friday. We don’t do much on a Friday.”

“I’m not happy.”

“No, I know. But I’m a big boy now. Oh! Talking of which...”

“No.”

“Yes! It’s your birthday tomorrow, so I thought tonight we could go out for dinner tonight- just us, and then tomorrow we could go out with Joe, Jonathan, Teresa and Alice.”

“I thought they lived outside the city?”

“They do, but they have an apartment here for Jonathan in the week, so Teresa said she would just bring Alice here this weekend instead.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And during the day we can go sightseeing.”

“Not shopping?”

“You’re here for five days, there’s plenty of time for you to take me shopping, if you absolutely insist,” Kurt teases. 

 

"So, the letters," Blaine begins later that night. 

Their fancy birthday dinner has been ditched in favor of room service- fish and chips- which they eat sitting on the bed in their underwear sipping on champagne. 

"The letters," Kurt says with a nod, reaching over to set his glass on the nightstand. 

"You like the letters?"

"I love the letters," Kurt corrects. "You like the post its?"

"I love them, and I love that I'll probably still be finding them in ten years time. How many did you hide?"

"I can't even remember," Kurt laughs. "More than fifty, I know that."

"I'm in awe."

"And I'm in awe of the letters. Seriously Blaine, the time and effort all that must have taken...and there's still more to come. You gave me fifty letters, I'm only here for forty four days- and you're with me for five of those."

"I know, but I wanted every eventuality covered," he says with a smile. 

"Well there's one I'd like to open with you, if that's okay? I have it in my bag."

"Sure."

Kurt climbs from the bed, clearing their plates back onto the table and runs to fetch the letter from his bag. Pouring them more champagne, Blaine then pulls back the covers and beckons for Kurt to join him.

"I gotta say, this is a pretty awesome birthday dinner."

"I like the dress code," Kurt agrees. "Black briefs as opposed to black tie? Works for me. So. This is the letter."

'Feel like reminiscing?' the envelope says, 'open this one!' 

"Really? That's what you want to do?" Blaine asks as Kurt snuggles under his arm.

"Is that okay? I've been looking at it the last few days and thinking that I'd really like to share it with you, rather than reading it without you here and ending up crying."

"Okay. Do you want to read this silently, or out loud, or what?"

"I want you to read it."

Blaine takes the letter and opens it, leans down to kiss Kurt's forehead briefly and then starts to read. 

"Memories...like the corners of my mind.... Well that's enough singing for now. You want to reminisce? Here are five memories I have of us over the last few years. They're not in any order, and they're not necessarily my favourite, or my funniest, or anything, particularly, they're just memories I have of us together, some special, some mundane, some romantic, some happy...just things that have stood out for me, that I've polished up and kept in that enormous treasure box of Kurt and Blaine's time together. 

Do you remember our first date? That's dumb. Of course you do. But....it was perfect. I had waited so long, Kurt. So long! But now, I'm glad I did. We both did a lot of growing up from our first meeting until our first date and honestly, I'm not sure we would have worked if we had dated eight months prior. We still would have found our way to one another eventually I guess, I'd like to think so, anyway.   
I remember standing by my car, waiting for you to come out of school. When you appeared, you tried to play it cool but I knew you were internally screaming, as was I. When I drove away from you I cheered. Loudly. Like, really loudly.  
And then all evening I couldn't stop looking at you. Funny, I can barely remember what we talked about yet I can still feel my thumb tracing over the back of your hand, I could describe exactly what you were wearing. And the jacket you took from the coat stand in your hallway.... Was that Marc Jacobs? I never asked for fear of embarrassing myself.   
Of course, I wanted to kiss you that night. But Finn was trying his overprotective big brother act, and again, nerves got the better of me. I'm glad though, because when our first kiss did happen, it was all kinds of wonderful. 

Hawaii. The whole trip to be honest, but especially the hibiscus. Do you know my insides do a funny little jump whenever I catch sight of one- even a drawing? The whole trip was perfect from beginning to end but that night, for me, was one of those moments we seem to have every now and then where our relationship seems to step up a gear. And I did...that...for the first time. Which you know is my favorite and my best. (I can't write the word rimming without dying of embarrassment. Oh, I just did.) 

The time I very nearly crashed my car on the way to Chicago. I bring that to mind every now and then, and I still laugh about it. I remember your exact words "I was just thinking how pretty you would look if I sucked you off while you had a dildo inside you, that's all."   
I nearly died. We nearly died, seeing as I narrowly avoided that truck, but it's thankfully a memory with a very happy ending. (And did I look pretty, Kurt? Did I?)

Your graduation. Bitter sweet, I guess, for both of us, given what happened that night then led to over a month of untold misery. But that day, I was so proud of you. And I'm so happy that when we're really, really old (yes, I am already) I can tell our grand kids that I watched you graduate high school and college. I cannot wait. You are amazing. You overcame so much to get where you are now, and everyday I find myself in awe of this incredible young man who has achieved so much. 

And my final memory Kurt, and one which should really, really be repeated at some point.... S'mores chocolate cheesecake."

Finishing reading, Blaine folds the letter and sets it on the nightstand before taking Kurt's face in his hands to give the softest of kisses to his lips. 

"I could go on and on about the memories we've made together," he smiles as Kurt closes his eyes in blissful contentment. "You make my life worth living." 

"Hmm, same," Kurt whispers. "I never want this moment to end, that's for sure, but I really have to use the bathroom."

"Go," Blaine laughs, sliding down under the covers as Kurt scurries across the room. "I will be expecting the full birthday blow job treatment to be lavished upon me when you return." 

A few minutes later and a laughing Kurt emerges. "Well it's not strictly your birthday yet, since it's only eleven thirty but I guess.... Oh Blaine," he sighs as he takes in the sight of Blaine, curled on his side and snoring lightly. "You absolute darling." Sliding under the covers he flips the lamp off before snuggling behind his fiancés back. "I love you." 

 

A groggy and disoriented Blaine wakes the next morning to find Kurt, already dressed and pacing around impatiently and an elaborate looking breakfast all laid out. 

"What? What time is it? This is England?"

"Ha! Yes, this is England, it's ten in the morning and," he gestures to all the food, "Happy Birthday!"

"Oh god." Blaine falls back onto the pillows with a groan. "Thirty five. Mid-thirties. Kill me now." Turning his head, he narrows his eyes at where Kurt stands, hands on hips looking down at him. "How can someone like you love someone so old as me?"

"Because someone like you...correction...you...are perfect for me." Bending down he kisses him quickly before scrunching up his nose, "but you do need to brush your teeth."

"I'm on it." Blaine climbs from the bed on wobbly legs and uses the bathroom before settling in one of the armchairs and holding his arms out to Kurt.

"In a moment. We have tea, toast, eggs, bacon.." He busies himself setting breakfast out for the pair of them- a waste of time really since he just sits in Blaine's lap and shares his plate anyway. "I have a gift for you."

"This is gift enough, though you really should be naked."

"I'm not getting naked now because we're going sightseeing before meeting everyone later." 

"Boo. Okay, I'll have my gift now instead." 

"I'm um...I'm actually really nervous about this," Kurt says, twisting his hands this way and that as his cheeks flush pink. "I don't know if you'll like it."

"Of course I will," Blaine smiles, surreptitiously brushing toast crumbs from Kurt's pants before he notices and tells him off. "Your gifts are always amazing."

"You might think this one incredibly immature."

"Why?" 

Kurt doesn't answer but takes himself from Blaine's lap to fetch a box from the corner of the room which he hands to him nervously, blushing furiously as Blaine lifts the lid and smiles. 

"It's a teddy bear."

"I made him," Kurt says quietly, eyes searching Blaine's for any trace of disappointment. 

"You made him? Just for me?" Blaine takes the bear from the box carefully and looks at him. He stands at around a foot tall, arms and legs all jointed and moveable. His fur is a light brown and Blaine smiles as he notices the hazel eyes. "He's pretty darn gorgeous," he grins, unable to resist kissing the tip of the bears nose. "Does he have a name?"

"Blaine," Kurt says in a voice still wobbly with emotion. "Because I made a Kurt as well." He drops another box into Blaine's lap who lifts the lid, grinning broadly at a bear identical in size but with golden fur and blue eyes. 

"Kurt... I love them. I can't believe you made them, they are amazing. I've never had a teddy before. Well, I had a stuffed turtle when I was a baby, but I attached myself to one of Cooper's t shirts and I used to drag that everywhere with me when I was little. These are wonderful. Why did you worry I wouldn't like them? They can sit on our bed at home."

"That's what I was hoping, but.... Yeah. I didn't want you to think I was weird, giving you a teddy bear for your thirty fifth birthday." 

"Please don't remind me of my age. But no, I don't think you weird, I think you rather lovely." Pulling Kurt tight to his chest he kisses him firmly. "Thank you." 

"I um... I made them little outfits," he says, blushing a furious red as Blaine stares. "Cause... Well... Cause I just did." He climbs from Blaine's lap once more and fetches a gift bag, and Blaine wades through the mountain of tissue paper until he unwraps two small suits- exact replicas of their New Years outfits. 

"Oh my god!" Blaine cries with a disbelieving laugh. "You made engagement outfits! Oh my god I love you even more than I ever thought possible. Oh my god!" Blaine's grin is broad and Kurt finally relaxes as Blaine eagerly dresses both bears, smacking Kurt's hands out the way when he tries to help. "Perfect!"

"Completely dishevelled," Kurt tuts as he takes the bears, tucking tiny shirts into small pants and righting cravats and bow ties. "Now perfect." 

"We can give them to our kids one day," Blaine grins as he snags another piece of toast from the tray. 

"No, Blaine, I can make them their own. They're not having ours. Now get dressed so we can go out."

"I have to shower first."

"I'm not stopping you," Kurt says, standing and gesturing to the bathroom. 

Blaine opens his mouth to say something but seems to think better of it after noticing the steely determination in Kurt's eyes, and he heads to the bathroom instead. When they emerge onto the streets of London the day is bright and sunny, and Blaine links his arm through Kurt's as they walk along. "Where first?"

"It's your birthday, you choose," Kurt says happily. 

"If I'd have known that I'd have kept you in bed the entire day," Blaine grins. 

"So surprising," Kurt quips dryly. "Come on, let's go see if the Queen is at home." 

 

By mid afternoon both men are exhausted, having taken in Buckingham Palace, St Pauls Cathedral, Trafalgar Square and Westminster Abbey. They drag their weary feet back to the hotel, but there's only time for a quick change before they're back out the door.

"Where are we going?" Blaine asks as they walk along the street.

"To meet everyone."

"I know that, but where?"

"Okay." Kurt turns, stopping them on the sidewalk and ignoring the irritated glances from passers by. "You are...you are different to most men, Blaine."

"I'm gay."

"It's not just that. You're so dapper, so elegant and put together- most of the time anyway. It's almost like you've come from another era. And in my eyes, you're a real gentleman. So since we're in England, home of the gent, I figured it'd be kinda cool to do something quaint so..." he trails off, gesturing to the building over the road. "Afternoon tea at the Ritz, my darling old man." 

"Woah! You're kidding me, right? That's like...something I've always wanted to do!" 

Kurt smiles at the way Blaine's face lights up, making him look almost childlike as he takes Kurt's hand and allows himself to be taken across the road. He's still in awe when he greets Joe again, who has presented himself in a proper tie and blazer much to Kurt's delight. 

"Well well, if it isn't Blaine Anderson," a voice calls from behind and Blaine turns to find a beaming Teresa holding her arms open wide. Jonathan follows, with Alice peeking out shyly from around his waist. 

"Hey Alice," Blaine says as he stoops down to her level. "You were just five the last time we met. What are you now? Hmm. Let me see. I'm guessing....six?"

"Seven, silly!" she laughs, all shyness forgotten. "I'm going to be eight soon though. I know you because there's a huge picture of you and Kurt in our dining room, and loads in Daddy's studio."

"Really? Well I was younger back then, and probably a lot more handsome."

"You're not doing too badly," Teresa laughs with a wink. "And Kurt keeps you young."

"He does." 

They all go happily into the hotel, and spend the afternoon cooing over delicate sandwiches and sighing over delectable pastries. Alice sits happily between Blaine and Joe, completely enraptured with the latter when he tells her he's going to be a movie star. Blaine turns to Kurt next to him, sliding an arm around his waist and nuzzling as close to his neck as he feels is socially acceptable. 

"I love you," he whispers, enjoying the way Kurt shivers. "Today has been perfect."

"I'm glad," Kurt murmurs, "though it's not over yet. We could go get a drink?" 

"That sounds fun," Blaine agrees with a smile. "Kurt and I are going for a drink, if anyone would like to join us?" 

"I'm in," Joe says, eagerly raising his hand. 

"Not me," Teresa says with an apologetic smile, "nor Alice. But I'm sure Jonathan would jump at the chance of a boys night out."

"I really would," he says, leaning over to kiss his wife's cheek. 

"Not a night out, per se," Blaine laughs. "Just a drink."

"I've heard that before," Teresa says knowingly. "Jonathan, I'll expect you home by three."

"Three? Three in the morning?" Blaine cries in alarm.

"Live a little, Blaine," Jonathan says as he tugs him to his feet, "we're not getting any younger."

"Don't remind me." 

And that is how Kurt and Blaine find themselves knocking back several drinks in a row, rammed together in some London nightclub that Blaine thinks might have been called Mahiki but he can't really remember. He can't really remember much, to be honest- except that he's engaged to Kurt and he's feeling exceptionally horny. 

"I'm horny!" he yells over the music. 

"Wrong person!" Joe yells back, spinning him around so he's facing Kurt. 

"Oh. I'm horny!"

"You're drunk as a skunk!" Kurt yells back before dissolving into a fit of giggles. "Skunky got drinky. Wait...that's not right."

"Dance with me!"

"Dance with you or push my cock against your ass?"

"You two are exceptionally loud!" Jonathan booms, laughing as he hands them both a shot of something bright green. "Cheers!"

"Cheers," they all chorus together before knocking the shots back. The four head to the dance floor, not really caring what music is playing as they sway around drunkenly, laughing loudly. 

"I'm nearly forty!" Jonathan yells to Blaine, "I can't keep up with all this!"

"Was you who was buying the drinks!"

"True, true." This becomes the funniest thing ever as the two men clutch at each other and Joe rolls his eyes at them, extending his hand to Kurt. 

"Well, my prince?"

"I'm really, really pissed," Kurt laughs as he and Joe stagger into a waltz to the loud dance track. 

"Why? Who said what?"

"Nah, that's what the British say, isn't it? Remember? When they're drunk they say they got pissed. And when they fuck they shag."

"Shag!" Joe explodes with laughter. 

"I think you should go ask that girl over there if she wants to shag you," Kurt laughs.

"I'm gonna." 

Joe disappears but is back moments later, tail between his legs. "I hate being friends with you. You attract women, but then they all decide I'm gay too, and together we repel them." 

"You love being friends with me."

"Yeah I do. Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't ever stop being my friend, 'Kay? Whatever happens, however many miles and roads and...things...like...buildings come between us...always be my friend."

"Always." 

They start to hug, but Joe ends up falling into the guy behind when the music changes and Kurt suddenly darts toward Blaine, who is alert and looking everywhere. 

"Baby!" he yells drunkenly as he pulls Kurt into an embrace. "Grenade. Oh my god."

"Our song," Kurt murmurs against his sweaty neck. "The first song we danced to."

"Shoulda known you were trouble," Blaine sings as he rests their foreheads together. "Oh my god Kurt, I'm just gonna come in my pants."

"What?"

Blaine doesn't answer at first, merely slots one leg between Kurt's so he can feel his hardness digging into his hip. Kurt's eyes go wide, then a sly smile takes over his face as he grinds back against him. 

"That first time...I couldn't touch you. I wanted to kiss you so bad. I wanna kiss you so bad right now, too."

"Do it then," Kurt urges in his ear. "Kiss me like nobody's watching." 

"Woah!" Jonathan cries, staring slack jawed alongside Joe as Blaine devours Kurt's mouth. His hands grip his hair tightly, tilting his face this way and that as his tongue dives into Kurt's mouth again and again, who has let his hands wander around to Blaine's ass where he grips roughly. 

"That's what their friends were talking about I guess," Joe slurs knowledgeably. "They said they're really filthy."

"That's...that's...that's dirty kissing, right there. That's kissing that leads to sex."

"Yes. Sex," Joe agrees. "It's been so long since I had sex. Over a week."

"Try being married, kid," Jonathan laughs. "Fucking hell! Is Kurt biting him?"

"I believe so," Joe says as he cocks his head to one side to get a proper look. "And oh! Blaine has wandering hands." 

Kurt bites at the soft flesh of Blaine's neck, tasting, pulling, aggravating with his tongue over and over while Blaine's hands start to roam. One slides under Kurt's shirt, bringing him closer where Blaine can rub against him wantonly, the other goes straight down the back of his pants, past the waistband of his underwear to cup his ass, squeezing hard as Kurt scrapes with his teeth. 

"Fuck..." Blaine throws his head back with a moan, completely oblivious to the stares of fellow clubbers. "I gotta pee."

"Nice. Classy," Kurt says as he falls back against the wall, panting hard and digging the heel off his hand into his groin. "Go pee. Go," he waves Blaine away, smiling as he watches him wobbling unsteadily towards the bathroom. 

"You okay there?" Jonathan asks as he hands him a bottle of water. "Things were getting pretty...um..."

"Hot," Joe finishes for him. "Like super hot. Who knew two guys getting it on could be so hot? It's...Kurt?" he asks in alarm as Kurt pushes off from the wall and veers toward the bathroom. "Kurt? Where are you going?" The two men jog to catch up with a now very determined Kurt. 

"I," he begins, holding one finger up as he sways unsteadily, "am going to hunt him down and fuck him hard. Yes." Nodding decisively, he sets off on his course once more as Jonathan worries behind him. 

"Kurt, you really can't do that here. This isn't a gay club, and it's pretty exclusive. Prince Harry comes here..."

"Where?" Kurt stops dead and whirls around. "I like him."

"No, he's not here, he just comes here sometimes, that's all. But Kurt you really....where'd he go?"

"He gone to fuck ole Blainers," Joe smiles happily. "In there," he adds, gesturing toward the bathroom. 

"Oh shit." 

Jonathan bursts into the bathroom looking left and right. "In there," a very bored sounding man says to him, pointing to a cubical. Giggling comes from behind the closed door, and Blaine's voice comes very loudly.

"I really hafta pee!"

"Pee in a moment, suck me first," Kurt tells him. 

"Okay, okay. Open up!" Jonathan knocks on the door, dragging Kurt out the second it opens, pants wide open and hair sticking every which way. "Do those up. Blaine, pee then meet us outside. I'm going to find you two a taxi." He hauls Kurt outside, having beckoned for Joe to join them. 

"Am I a disgrace?" Kurt asks, beaming with pride at the very thought. 

"Completely," Jonathan says as he hails a cab, but turns back to Kurt with a grin. "You're both bloody hilarious. It was a good night, but now it's time for you two to be alone."

"Birthday blowjobs!" Blaine booms as he staggers onto the street. "C'mon baby. Let's go." 

They fall into a cab together, a momentary pause when they are asked where they're going. 

"Uh...my hotel," is all Blaine can offer.

"He's staying at the Mayfair," Joe shouts to the driver, and they're on their way. 

"Blaaaaaaine?" Kurt asks as he slumps against him.

"Hmm?"

"Will you look after me tomorrow? Cause I don't think I'm gonna feel too good."

"Of course!" Blaine says valiantly. "I'll always look after you. Always. Forever. Till....forever. Always." 

They trip and stumble thought the hotel, trying desperately to stifle their laughter until Kurt suddenly pins Blaine against the wall and kisses him hard. "I need....you. I need you. That's all I need. Just you."

"Then you shall have me!" Blaine laughs as he tugs him down the corridor. "In any way you choose."

After fumbling with the key they finally get into their room where Kurt pins Blaine to the wall once more, pulling roughly at his shirt as Blaine fumbles with Kurt's belt. 

"Oh yes, yes," Kurt moans as Blaine falls to his knees. "Suck me."

Blaine happily obliges, reaching inside Kurt's underwear to release his hard, aching cock from its confines. He studies it, licking his lips subconsciously as Kurt lets his head fall back against the wall with a thump. Ordinarily he would be embarrassed with the close attention Blaine is paying to his body, but he couldn't care less as he finally nuzzles his face into the crease in his thigh and breathes him in. 

"You're amazing," Blaine murmurs, nipping lightly at the skin there before softly kissing a line down his leg and across to his balls, sucking each one into his mouth before kissing the very tip of Kurt's cock. "I could do this to you forever." 

Looking down, Kurt can see that the moment has sobered him somewhat, his eyes dark with wanting as he slowly licks the length of Kurt's dick before sinking down around him. Kurt's hands immediately tangle into his hair, breaking apart the stiff gel as his hips stutter and Blaine takes him deeper. "Fuck! Oh Blaine that's so good. I've missed your mouth on me baby. Oh shit, yes!" Blaine's hands come up to pull his pants and underwear to his ankles, gripping his ass hard as he urges Kurt to take the control. He does so willingly, snapping his hips back and forth as Blaine relaxes his throat to take nearly all of Kurt's length in his mouth. 

"Touch yourself for me," Kurt urges in a desperate whisper, "lemme see you holding your gorgeous cock." 

Blaine braces one hand on the wall as he fumbles to undo his pants, moaning around Kurt's cock when he finally runs his hand over himself, jerking in time with Kurt's thrusts. The pace picks up, Kurt pushing hard into Blaine's mouth, who takes and takes, humming appreciatively whenever Kurt tugs particularly hard on his hair. "Shit..." Kurt groans as he feels his climax approaching. "Blaine..." He spills hard, Blaine swallowing around him before pulling off and managing to find Kurt's lips as he sinks wearily to the floor, driving his tongue into Kurt's mouth and making him taste himself. 

"You're so hot," Blaine says brokenly as he continues to jerk himself off. "I can't...I just...can't," he clutches desperately to Kurt's shoulder as he starts to breathe harder. Kurt kneels, replacing Blaine's hand with his own before kissing him over and over until Blaine whimpers and shudders and Kurt feels him come over his hand, a hand which he quickly brings to his lips and licks clean. 

"I'm dead. I'm dying," Blaine moans as he lies on the floor.

"You can't be both."

"Oh. Well I'm one of them."

"We should get to bed," Kurt says tiredly.

"We should." Blaine stands, taking off all his clothes and abandoning them on the floor before undressing Kurt clumsily, but with love in his eyes as he helps him to his feet and into bed. "Did you have fun?"

"Just then? Yeah. Was awesome," Kurt murmurs as he turns out the light and draws Blaine to his chest. 

"I was kinda meaning the whole day."

"Oh! Yeah. That too. It was so much fun. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow though. I think my head’s gonna hurt."

"Don't worry. I'll look after you, I promised."

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you."


	21. Chapter 21

'Open this when I've gone.'

My dearest Kurt,

So I snuck another letter in ;) 

Don't cry. I know you are, and I know that I will be too- the whole way home probably. But soon, my gorgeous boy. Soon you'll be back with me, and we have so much to look forward to. 

I had the most amazing five days with you. My birthday was perfection. I am truly sorry that your hangover lasted two days and mine just two hours, and I sincerely apologize for sniggering. ;) But we had so much fun that night, I swear my ribs still ache from laughing....either that or from being bent over the vanity the next day.

I really loved coming to class with you, I know I say this so many times but you are truly mesmerizing to watch, you light up the stage Kurt, and I am eagerly awaiting your professional debut. On that note, I hope your showcase goes well. Try not to stress too much about it (easier said than done, I know) and remember, even if nothing comes of it, you can say you've performed on a West End stage- and you're still only nineteen. (Not for much longer!) 

I'm so glad you took this opportunity, Kurt. I can see that you are having so much fun, and you and Joe have become much closer. It also reminds me how much you've grown up during our time together. And it's proven that we can do this. We can be apart and still be just as much in love as we always are, and then together we cherish our time so much more. The only thing I am slightly upset about is that during my five days in London I didn't see a single Royal. But I will be proudly wearing my I heart London t-shirt (to bed, don't panic) and thinking of you, always. 

Seventeen days.

Always yours,

B xxx

*

Blaine,

I did cry, as you rightly predicted. As for you, you are a total disgrace in airports. Really, I'm surprised there's not an international ban on you entering any terminal. Justin Timberlake sang 'cry me a river,' Blaine, not cry me the whole Atlantic Ocean.

You know I'm teasing you, right? I just re-read that and wondered if the joke would come across. And now I'm having to explain my humor. Why am I fretting? If anyone gets me, it's you. 

I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, but we were visiting Teresa and Jonathan and their wifi isn't great. We had a really good time, their house is right in the middle of the countryside and it's so...green! Not like an American fall at all really. It was beautiful, we will have to visit them together some time. And Jonathan very kindly did head shots for Joe and I- saving us several hundred dollars. I was wondering.... Do you think he'd fly out to do our wedding photos? It's just....I trust him. And he knows us. I have complete faith in him to capture us as a couple rather than us in stiff and formal poses. Think on it. I don't want to take over.

I legit snorted today during music. Some girl was in the middle of singing her solo from My Fair Lady, and I suddenly thought of me, standing outside the Ritz, telling you that you were elegant and refined. Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I take it all back. Just a few hours after that and you were drunkenly singing some kind of soccer chant that Jonathan taught you, bow tie loose around your neck and wearing six pink cocktail umbrellas in your hair.

I too had such an amazing time when you were here. It went too quickly of course, but I don't think I've ever spent so long laughing...or having sex. I'm glad I did this. For me, it's been about proving to myself that actually, I don't need you by my side to be strong. I need you, yes. But I have you in my heart, even when we're not together and that is what makes me strong. Your love keeps me going. I'm guessing that given the career I want to pursue, and what you already do, there's going to be more occasions when we are parted. Not for as long, maybe, but it's good to know that we can do this and always come back to each other in the end. 

I want to thank you, actually. I didn't say anything while you were here, mainly because we were too busy terrorizing London Town. (You can see why they hate American tourists.) But thank you for giving me the push I needed. If it hadn't been for our mini blow out, and you subsequently urging me to be honest with myself, I would never have gone and I just would have spent the entire six weeks missing Joe and begrudging him his happiness. It was a selfless act, Blaine, because you were the one left behind and you were the one who had to let me go. So thank you. 

You're pretty darn perfect to me, you know that?

I love you.

Always yours,  
K xxx

P.S- The Queen says hi.

*

BLAAAAAAAAAAAINE!!!! 

OH

MY

GOD.

You know that bit in The Little Mermaid, when Sebastian's jaw drops open and Scuttle has to close it for him? That's me, right now. 

Color me shocked, Blaine Devon Anderson.

SHOCKED.

*

My dearest Kurt,

You were feeling horny and opened the letter, didn't you?

Always yours,

B xxx

*

Blaine,

How did you even get yourself into some of those positions? And taking pics in the mirror? Very smart.   
And to answer your question from the 'reminiscing' letter....

Yes, you do look very pretty like that. 

*

My dearest Kurt,

That email ended abruptly, and your phone is switched off. Is it very vulgar to tell you that I'm now going to crack one out while thinking of you fucking into me?

Always yours,

B xxx

*

Blaine,

Not vulgar, no. Just....not appropriate when I don't pick up my emails until the next day, and I'm in the campus library with Joe sitting next to me. Just be grateful it was him. (He's not)

Always yours,

K xxx

*

My dearest Kurt,

THREE DAYS THREE DAYS THREE DAYS!!!!! 

I'm being totally lame by telling you this via email rather than over the phone but...

Here's the thing, I have to work the day you arrive home. Which, really, truly sucks. But it's this big meeting with Kendall's and also the CEO of Webster Evans is going to be there with a view to hiring me. That means big bucks. That means hugely lavish wedding and honeymoon. So I won't be at the airport, I'm sorry. But I will be home in time for dinner. 

And we can order in whatever you want, or I can cook for you, or whatever. Anything you choose is going to be completely okay by me because you will be HOME!!!

I hope your showcase went well, I also hope you had the presence of mind to read the 'need a pep talk?' letter before you went on.

I love you.

Always yours,

B xxx

*

Kurt trudges wearily through arrivals, a tired and despondent Joe at his side. Their flight has been long, and ruined completely by a screaming baby who refused to be placated in any way. They fetch their bags, Kurt sighing heavily as he drags his case behind him and hoists his enormous backpack onto his shoulder. 

"So you wanna share a cab?" Joe asks.

"May as well, since I have no one here to meet me."

"Neither do I."

"I know, but you don't live with your fiancé."

"Well he couldn't help it," Joe reasons. "You know he would be here if he could be."

"I know," Kurt agrees, tears prickling behind his eyes. "But I'm still upset." 

"Well don't be," Joe says firmly. "Look."

Kurt follows Joe's arm, gesturing to where Blaine stands, arms held wide with flowers in each hand and a shy smile on his face. 

"What the...?" Kurt starts as he drops his bags and runs, throwing himself into Blaine's embrace and wrapping his legs tight around his waist. "My Blaine!" They kiss fiercely, then slowly, lovingly as Blaine drops the flowers and cradles Kurt's face in his hands, pulling away with tears on his cheeks. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I always..."

"Cry," Kurt finishes. "Blaine, I don't care. You're just beautiful. You came."

"Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"You said you had this big meeting."

"That was yesterday."

"Did you get it?"

"I did," he says quietly with a nod.

"Of course you did, because you're amazing. I cannot believe you're here, that you kept it a secret."

"Joe knew."

"He...?" Kurt drops from Blaine's arms and turns to face him. "You knew?" 

Joe just shrugs, smiling as he puts his hands in his pockets. 

"Oh, I have flowers!" Blaine suddenly remembers, handing one bouquet to Kurt and one to Joe. "I didn't want you to feel left out," he explains.

"No one's ever gotten me flowers," Joe grins. "First bunch and they're from a forty year old engaged gay guy. I'm doing well."

"I am not forty! Now give me a hug and I'll drive you home."

Kurt is sound asleep by the time Blaine reaches their building, and he nudges him gently. "Kurt, darling? We're home."

"What? Huh? Oh. Home. Right." He falls back in his seat, a blissful smile playing on his face as he looks up at their building. "Home. Our home."

"I have another surprise for you," Blaine whispers as he kisses his forehead. "Come on up." 

Blaine is quiet as they step into the elevator, prompting Kurt to ask him what's wrong. "I'll talk to you about it later," he says with a small smile. "This is your time now."

Kurt was maybe expecting a banner, possibly some balloons. He was not expecting to find all of that, plus his dad and Carole sitting in his living room. 

"Oh my god!" he shrieks, throwing himself into their arms. "Oh my god I have missed you guys so much!" 

"We're in a hotel," Carole tells him hastily. "We didn't want to intrude too much. But we've missed you too."

"I'm so glad you're here," Kurt smiles. "Dad?"

"I'm okay," Burt says as he wipes hurriedly at his eyes. "I'm okay."

"See, this is why I chose him," Kurt laughs as he gestures to Blaine who is sniffing into a handkerchief. "They always say that little girls choose a guy like their daddy well...I'm the same. You're both terrible."

"Honey, we're all crying," Carole points out. "Even you."

"I know," he smiles through his tears, "I know. Carole, did you cook?" he asks as he sniffs the air.

"I did," she beams. "Go wash up and I'll get it all ready."

"Could your mom and dad not make it?" Kurt asks as him and Blaine make their way to the bathroom.

"Uh...no. That's..that's what's up. My dad...well, he's in hospital with pneumonia."

"What? Since when?"

"He got taken in two days ago. He'd been sick for a week and just wasn't getting any better. I was going to tell you," Blaine adds quickly, "I just didn't want to worry you right before you left."

"Have you been to see him?"

"Not yet. I wondered if..."

"We'll go tomorrow."

"No, no. You'll be jet lagged and..."

"We will go tomorrow. This is your dad, Blaine. And I adore him. We will go tomorrow."

"Thank you," he says sincerely, falling into the hug Kurt offers. "Just....thank you." 

Kurt doesn't sit down to dinner immediately, opting to call Sara instead who sounds tired, but happy to know that he is home, and she brightens considerably when he tells her they will be visiting the very next day. Once they have all eaten, and Kurt has shown the many hundred pictures on his iPad, Burt and Carole depart, making plans to meet for breakfast the next day before they all head back to Ohio. Kurt closes the door behind them and leans against it, yawning, stretching and showing his toned stomach. 

"Bed," he says, holding a hand out to Blaine. "Come on. You look weary with worry." 

"Not with...well, yeah actually....I am," Blaine sighs. "I'm glad to have you home though."

"I'm glad to be home." 

They walk into the bedroom and Kurt takes him in his arms, content to breathe him in while they hug tightly. He smoothes his hands over Blaine's back, kissing just below his ear. "It's this I've missed," he whispers. "These moments that are uniquely Kurt and Blaine. That no one can ever have except us."

"Mmm," Blaine agrees, turning so he can kiss Kurt's neck. "God you make everything so much better."

They pull apart reluctantly to change into pajamas and use the bathroom, but pretty soon Blaine's head is resting contentedly on Kurt's chest once more, his arm encircling his waist. "You never told me how you got on at your showcase, we only spoke briefly and it was so noisy in the background." 

Kurt tenses beneath him, the slight movement prompting Blaine to lift his head to look at him. "Not good?"

"Not as good as Joe. Or anyone, actually." His voice is small as he looks to the ceiling and runs a weary hand through his hair. "You know how I told you the tutors here think Joe could be the next big thing? Well so do the ones in London, evidently. Every agent who attended wanted to sign him there and then. There's talk of one film producer trying to get a role created for him in his next blockbuster- he's so sure he's found this bright new star."

"That's good.... Isn't it?"

"It is, yeah. I love Joe dearly and he deserves good things, he's exceptionally talented it's just..."

"It's not happening to you."

"Yeah." Kurt sighs heavily, looking down to where Blaine rests his chin on his chest. "Am I a bad person?"

"No, not at all," Blaine reassures. 

"I mean, I want to be in musical theatre as opposed to films, but the fact remains that from that showcase everyone got approached by some agent, producer or director..... Except me." 

"Well they could.... I don't know," Blaine says, fumbling for words, "they could be thinking on it a little.... I mean...you're...unique."

"I sound like a girl," Kurt says miserably. 

"You do not! And I won't listen to you talk that way about yourself. Kurt, you are beautiful, inside and out and an amazingly talented performer. You know, if you're casting a film that's one thing, but London theatrical agents are probably looking for something very different to American ones. I don't know.... Mary Poppins, for example. I took Maddie and Taylor to see that when they were small. The guy playing Burt was good, really good, but his accent was flawed. Every so often it would drop and I could tell he was from Kentucky. Now, American audiences aren't gonna mind so much but in England? Uh-uh. Forget it. You've gotta be crisp, clear, concise. If they were looking to cast Oklahoma that's one thing, but generally British audiences are going to expect British casts."

"I guess," Kurt starts, unsure. "But that doesn't explain why Holly and Elle got approached."

"Kurt... You said yourself you didn't want too much to come of this because of the wedding."

"I was lying."

"I thought you were," Blaine smiles and drops a kiss to his chest. "Listen, you're in your second year of a three year course. Think how wonderful you're going to be by graduation. And that showcase then will be far more important... Bigger agents, notable directors, producers...that's the one that counts, Kurt, and I just know you'll be fighting them off."

"I worry," he admits quietly. "I worry I won't be good enough, or mainstream enough, or a strong enough dancer, or I won't sing low enough..."

"Kurt....I can't tell you to stop worrying, because you're only gonna do it anyway. But you know....if all of those fears turn out to be true- which they won't- but if they ever did? You're the most talented clothing designer I've seen in many a year. You could make it big designing costumes, or couture."

"I don't want to make clothes though."

"I know, darling. I know." Blaine moves up to kiss his lips, lingering until he feels Kurt start to relax in his embrace when he opens his mouth a little wider and runs his tongue along his lower lip. 

"Blaine?" Kurt breaks the kiss, shifting onto his side to nuzzle against his cheek. 

"Hmm?"

"I know I've just come home an' all but....is this enough, for tonight?" He chews his lip nervously, only relaxing when Blaine smiles sweetly.

"Of course. I don't think either of us are up for anything too much tonight. There's time.... Like...a whole lifetime of time."

"Mmm," Kurt smiles properly this time as he shivers with delight. "A whole lifetime. That's all I want. A whole lifetime with you." 

"You know, despite the obscenely sexual photos I left for you, and all we got up to in London.... I missed our cuddles the most."

"Me too.... But god. Those photos were something else."

"Promise me to keep them locked away somewhere. Santana has no boundaries, I caught her in the closet looking for the toys when she came to visit."

"I promise," Kurt laughs, then turns serious as he brushes Blaine's loose curls from his eyes. "Are you okay about seeing your dad tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll be glad to really. He's had me worried."

"Your mom said his breathing was a lot easier now."

"That's good. Thank you, for saying we could go."

"They're my parents as much as they are yours," Kurt smiles. "Or they will be soon, anyway."

"True, true," Blaine smiles. "And I can't wait for us to be married."

 

They arrive at the hospital the next afternoon, Kurt having done the drive this time since Blaine looks like he is surviving on very little sleep- a proven fact when he dozes off the second the car is on the highway. He startles to life when Kurt parks, and is quick to apologize.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have slept like that, you're probably exhausted and I..."

"Blaine, it doesn't matter. I'm fine, honestly. You needed to sleep. Don't think I don't notice when you get up in the middle of the night. You left our bed at three and didn't return until gone five thirty. Were you playing again?"

"Yes, but I used the keyboard with headphones rather than the piano- I didn't want to wake you."

"I stirred the second you were gone from my side. I was going to come look for you, but I figured you might want some time alone." He leans across to kiss his cheek. "Come on, let's go."

Blaine clings tight to Kurt's hand as they walk through the hospital, ignoring the stares from the narrow minded passers by until they reach his dad's room. Kurt knocks and they enter, Sara Anderson setting her cross stitch aside to greet them warmly. 

"My darling boys," she smiles as she hugs both of them tightly. "Oh Mike will be so happy that you're here. He's sleeping right now, but the doctor said he had a good night."

"He's....mom, why does he have that mask on?" The panic is evident in Blaine's voice, as are the tears. Kurt wraps a comforting arm around his waist and draws him close. 

"It's just oxygen, Blaine," Sara tells him. "Don't worry. It's just making it a little easier for him to breathe."

"He looks.....so old," Blaine whispers, choking on a sob lodged in his throat. 

"Well he is, I guess," Sara chuckles. "He's nearly seventy four."

"I know but.... He's my dad," he finishes lamely. 

"Don't worry darling," his mom says as together with Kurt they guide him into a chair next to the bed, "he's not going anywhere. You'll see when he wakes up. He's got a terrible cough and he sounds wheezy, but he's still the same old goofball he always is." She kisses his forehead softly. "Now that you two are here, would you mind if I went to get some coffee? I didn't really want to leave him alone in case he woke and thought that we'd all stopped caring."

"I doubt he'd think that," Kurt smiles as he squeezes her hand.

"No...but even so...." Sara trails off, blinking rapidly before fumbling in her bag for a handkerchief, but Kurt beats her to it and offers the one from his jacket. "Thank you darling."

"Blaine? I'm gonna go with your mom, okay?"

"Oh no," Sara says quickly, "you don't need to do that, I'll be fine, really." 

"I do," Kurt says firmly. "Blaine? You'll be okay?"

"Yes," Blaine nods, feeling anxious for his dad waking up but somewhat reassured by his mom's words.

They step from the room and Sara turns to walk along the corridor, but Kurt takes her arm and stops her in her tracks. "I see where Blaine gets it from," he smiles down at her.

"Gets what from?"

"Refusal to talk about his feelings," he says, arching one eyebrow. "You're not fine. Please stop pretending like you are. Blaine and I love you so much, just...let us in, please. It's okay to admit you're worried." 

"I'm terrified," Sara says, drawing a gasping breath before the tears take over and she falls into Kurt's arms. "I don't want to lose him Kurt." She cries hard as he holds her tight, just waiting until her sobs have died down. "I can't lose him," she says, shaking her head as she draws back, staring at the handkerchief she turns over and over in her hands. "He's all I've ever known. I was like you," she smiles up at him with red rimmed eyes. "I fell for him when I was fifteen years old. He was this big high school senior, so handsome, so charming and debonair....and he chose me. I'll never for the life of me know why he did, but he did. And all I ever wanted to do was to love him, to make him as happy as he made me. He was...is...my one and only, Kurt. You know what that's like, don't you?" 

"I do," he reassures as he gently guides her along the corridor toward the elevators. 

"When he went to college, everyone thought it would end. He cheated on me, can you believe," she says quietly. "No one knows. Certainly not the boys. I'd never want to paint him in a bad light to them, because he wasn't like that. It was a one night thing, and he called me the very next day, broken and desperate. I knew he was sorry, I could sense that immediately. But it didn't make it any easier to forgive."

"Like all the mess I had with Blaine."

"Yes," she agrees as they step into the elevator. "However much you love someone, when they hurt you like that it's not as easy as saying 'oh never mind, I know you're sorry.' It takes time. But we came out stronger because of it, and he proposed on my eighteenth birthday. We married when I was twenty one. That was more common then, for brides to be young."

"So you didn't go to college?"

"Secretarial school," she smiles, brightening up more and more as she talks through her memories. "Though I really had no intention of working. I did, for two years but I stopped when I found out I was expecting Cooper."

"You two are adorable," Kurt smiles, offering his arm as they exit the elevator and head toward the cafeteria. "And you know what? I'll bet you don't lose Mike just yet, because he knows he has something worth fighting for." 

"Thank you, Kurt darling, you're incredibly sweet. I'm sorry for falling apart back there..."

"Hey," Kurt stops her again, bending to kiss her cheek. "If you can't fall apart in front of your own son, then when can you, eh?"

Sara opens her mouth again to speak, but tears arrive once more and she dabs at her eyes. "Oh Kurt...thank you my darling. I think that's the nicest thing you could have ever said. I do hope you know how much we both love you. I know you have your dad and Carole, but we absolutely think of you as our son too." Patting his hand, she smiles up at him.

"I know you do...gosh, you made me feel welcome right from the off. I was so scared to meet you...and I vividly remember the looks on your faces when I told you I was a sophomore, but you never judged, never made me feel like a child...you always just took mine and Blaine's relationship at face value, and I can never thank you enough for that." 

"You could buy me a coffee?" she laughs, "I left my purse upstairs."

"Sure thing, and I think we'll be needing some cake, too."

*  
"Blaine?"

"Huh?" He stops counting the ceiling tiles and looks quickly toward the bed, where his dad reaches up with a trembling hand to take the oxygen mask from his face.

"Blaine?" he croaks again, voice raspy and heavy with the effort.

"Hey dad. It's me," he smiles even as his bottom lip wobbles and tears fall onto his cheeks. "How are you?... Sorry, dumb question I guess."

"I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest," he says, smiling before falling into a wheezing coughing fit that has Blaine rushing to hold a glass of water to his lips, cradling his head tenderly until it passes.

"Okay now?"

"Yes, thank you," Mike nods, then looks around the room. "Kurt not with you?"

"Nice. Am I not good enough now?" he jokes lightly.

"No. I like Kurt better," Mike teases back before Blaine bows his head onto the bed and starts to cry. "Hey...Blaine?" Mike says as he runs his hand over the back of Blaine's neck, playing with the soft curls "Son? Why are you crying?"

"Because...I hate seeing you like this," he explains, sitting and taking his dad's hand in his own. "You're you but you're so sick...so fragile."

"I am not!" Mike protests. "Well..." he pauses to cough a little more. "Maybe I am a little. But I'm not about to drop off the face of the earth. Blaine...did you think I was gonna die? I told your mom to make sure you and Cooper knew you weren't collecting your inheritance this time."

"No, she did," Blaine reassures. "But I worry, and then when I walked in and you looked so small...."

"This is why I prefer Kurt."

"Yes, thank you," Blaine laughs and can't help but lean over and kiss his dad's cheek. 

"I'll be okay," Mike says with as much of an emphatic nod as he can manage. "It'll take time, I guess- I'm not as young as I used to be- but I'll get there. The wedding is eighteen months away, I have to still be kicking around for that."

"You do."

"And....maybe....more grand babies...one day? If I'm lucky?"

"Maybe," Blaine grins. "Actually, yes. I can tell you that one way or another, Kurt and I will be having at least one child someday." 

"I knew it," Mike says with a small fist pump. "Excellent. Well that's settled. I'm not going anywhere until I've held all my grand babies in my arms."

Blaine smiles, still holding tight to his dad's hand but already feeling so much happier. 

"Seriously.... Is Kurt not with you?"

"Oh for the love of... Yes, he's here. He went to get coffee with mom."

"Ah good. I've missed him. How was his time in England?"

"Good, yeah. I think he was glad he went. I don't know if all of it was as he would have liked, but it was definitely a good life experience for him."

"You're a good man, Blaine- to let him go like that. I know you don't worry about him straying or anything, but I also know it's hard to be left behind like that."

"He's worth everything to me."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed," Mike laughs, then coughs, then pouts when Blaine puts the oxygen mask back on him tenderly.

"To shut you up," he smiles, poking his tongue out for good measure. 

Sara and Kurt return then, and Mike becomes even brighter once more, and though he doesn't say much, and becomes sleepy after a while, he is more than happy to lie there and listen to their animated conversation wash over him. He drifts in and out of sleep as Kurt talks about his time in England, pretty sure he wakes to hearing him say they met Prince Harry in a nightclub, but he's not entirely certain. He falls into a deep sleep eventually, stirring a little when Blaine kisses his forehead and tells him they'll be back next weekend, but once his wife takes his hand, kissing his fingers tenderly and telling him how happy she is that they visited, he lets his dreams carry him away once more. 

"You okay?" Kurt asks once they're outside, dusk just starting to turn to dark. 

"Yeah. I just...." Blaine sits heavily on a bench, watching the visitors and staff coming and going for a while. Kurt says nothing, only sits next to him and takes his hand wordlessly, waiting until Blaine feels ready. 

"It's...the fragility of our parents, y'know? The thought of a life without them." 

"Oh I know," Kurt says, looking out across the parking lot and not at his fiancé. "I know all too well."

"Oh Christ Kurt, I'm sorry. Of course you do." Blaine runs a weary hand over his face. "I'm so sorry, that was really insensitive."

"No, Blaine. It wasn't. I feel...and I think I can say this after seeing your dad...I feel like we've both narrowly avoided losing our fathers. And you're right. It does suddenly hit you, that they won't always be around, that in one single second it could all be gone. I didn't have that feeling with my mom," he smiles tightly at her memory, "because I was so young I guess. But I did have to deal with the pain that followed. With waking up each morning expecting to see her smiling at me as she pulled my blind up...and then remembering that would never happen again. It's...well it's the most pain I think anyone could ever have to bear, along with losing a child or soulmate. Certainly I never let myself think about it, because if nature takes its course, we're gonna have to live through losing my dad and Carole as well as both your parents...and that's something I just don't want to deal with right now."

"At least we'll deal with it together, I guess," Blaine says as he squeezes Kurt's hand tight.

"Together." 

"I'll bet your mom was beautiful."

"She was. You've seen pictures."

"I know, but there's a difference between looking at a picture and seeing a person's beauty radiate from within. I'm sad that I'll never know her, but I think she left a good example of her beauty behind in her son," Blaine says as he nudges Kurt's shoulder.

"I don't know about that. I'm maybe remembering her through rose tinted glasses, but I don't recall her being as stubborn or arrogant as I can be." 

"You're not that bad," Blaine laughs, noticing the look Kurt gives him. "Okay, well maybe a little bit stubborn....or a lot...yeah. Actually you really are."

"Yes, okay Blaine. Thank you."

"No, Kurt, thank you, because it was your stubbornness that got us here today, and which put my mind totally at ease. If it wasn't for your insistence, I would have left it a few more days, because in all honesty I was scared to see him. But I'm so glad I did. And whatever you said to my mom....you made her smile again. When she left the room I was worried about her but she returned so much brighter. I guess a coffee date with you just has that effect on people."

"Come on, charmer," Kurt smiles, kissing his cheek then pulling him to his feet. "Let's go home. We should make it before midnight." 

They make love that night, needing to be close with one another, to touch, to feel, to take, to give. After, when Kurt is spooned in tight behind Blaine, both still in their post orgasm haze, Blaine takes the hand held over his rapidly beating heart and kisses each of Kurt's fingers in turn. 

"I am so, so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you," he whispers, smiling as he feels Kurt smiling against the back of his neck. 

"Your mom was telling me about how she ended up dating your dad today, she said he was her one and only. I like that about us, that you're my one and only."

"You're mine too," Blaine says. "Maybe not sexually, but emotionally, you're my first and you'll be my last. And I just want to say... Today, you really proved to me just why I love you. You were wonderful, not only to me but to my parents as well."

"See? I can take care of you, when you let me."

"I know you can."

"I love you so much, Blaine."

"You too, gorgeous boy."


	22. Chapter 22

Six months later.

"I want to die of shame," Blaine announces dramatically one day when he arrives home from work. 

"Oh?" Kurt looks up from the script he is studying- ostensibly trying to learn lines but in reality daydreaming about whether Lilies or roses would look better for the center pieces. 

"I went to the eye doctor," he explains, leaning over the couch to kiss Kurt's lips. "I need glasses."

"Is that all?" Kurt laughs. "I thought it was something highly embarrassing. All the dramatics for a pair of glasses."

"No, listen," Blaine says as he returns from the hall closet minus his jacket and shoes. "Wanna know why I need them?"

"To see?"

"Haha," Blaine responds dryly as he sits and takes Kurt's feet into his lap. "It's your age, Mr. Anderson, happens to us all."

"Ha! Excellent."

"Yeah, I knew you'd find that funny," he grumps, but it's good natured as he rubs at Kurt's toes. 

"I'll help you pick some out."

"I did it myself," Blaine answers, a little proudly.

"Oh no, you did not. Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs. "You shouldn't attempt theses things without me.... Especially since your ageing eyes can't see very well."

"That's enough," Blaine laughs, slapping his leg. "I only need them for reading music, and close up stuff."

"Okay, lemme see. And then we can make an appointment to go back and change them."

"You think you're funny, don't you?"

"I know I am. Now let me see."

"Fine," Blaine huffs, stomping out into the hallway once more and returning with a case in his hand. "Just...try not to laugh. Okay?"

"Okay."

Blaine puts the glasses on, blushing furiously when Kurt's jaw drops. "They're terrible. I knew it." 

He makes to take them off but Kurt stutters to life. "No! No, um......leave them on. They're not terrible. Far, far from terrible in fact."

"They're okay? Passable? I managed to choose something acceptable to your exacting standards?" Blaine grins wide as he sits down on the couch and looks over the top of them at his fiancé.

"Blaine...they're hot."

"Oh please."

"No, they are. Like, really hot."

"Yeah right."

"Blaine...." Kurt whines, suddenly very, very needy as he climbs into Blaine's lap. "I'm gonna need you to do unmentionable things to me, right now, while wearing the glasses." 

"Huh?"

"Okay...since your brain isn't working right now, let me spell this out for you. Fuck me. Keep the glasses on." 

"Oh." Blaine stares, shocked, but his hands come up to grip Kurt's hips, fingers digging in as he feels himself start to get hard. "You like the glasses, huh?"

"I love the glasses," Kurt corrects, "They make you look so...commanding. So sophisticated and....old, in a good way. And I'm gonna need for us to get dirty."

"Dirty?"

"I'm talking filthy, Blaine. I'm gonna need to you to work me open with your tongue and then fuck me hard."

"Jesus Christ," Blaine pants as he pushes up against Kurt's ass before he's kissing him, and Blaine feels the subtle moment that Kurt gives himself over, hands him the control as their tongues meet and Kurt drapes his arms over Blaine's shoulders, happily accepting the feel of Blaine's glasses digging into the side of his face as their passion builds and both groan low in their throats. 

"Clothes," Blaine manages to get out as he breaks the kiss and grabs desperately at Kurt's ass. "Clothes off. Stand up." 

He divests them both of their clothing quickly, grabbing Kurt hard and crushing him against his chest, kissing him forcibly and teasing a finger along the crack of his ass, enjoying the way he shivers in his arms. "On all fours," he whispers hotly, and Kurt is on the floor in seconds, open and exposed for Blaine. "Wait there," he says, dropping a kiss to the base of his spine. "And no touching."

"What? What are you....? Blaine?"

"I'm back," he says, seconds later.

"Where did you go?"

"Don't worry about it. Now, do you want me to keep the glasses on while I fuck you with my tongue?" 

"Fuck....yes," Kurt whines, the moment forgotten as he grips the edge of the coffee table with one hand and pushes his ass back toward Blaine's face. "Yes...just...take me." 

He obliges happily, burying his face into Kurt as he licks over his entrance. The glasses push back on his face, but Kurt seems to relish the feel of the cool glass and thick steel rims pushing into his soft skin, squirming almost uncontrollably as he moans in pleasure. 

"Oh fuck Blaine....yes," he pants, the feeling of Blaine's tongue teasing around him driving him crazy with lust. "Fuck me with your mouth, please, please!" 

Blaine doesn't hold back, driving his tongue fiercely in and out of Kurt's hole, until he feels the muscle relax around him and he can slide a finger in alongside. His other hand he reaches around to work Kurt's cock, pumping in time with his driving tongue until Kurt is a babbling, incoherent mess, gripping the coffee table hard with one hand and holding a handful of the living room rug with the other. And then suddenly it all stops. Blaine pulls back, leaning against the couch and encouraging Kurt to straddle him, kneeling so his cock is level with Blaine's mouth. 

"Come on my face," he demands, then reaches for their blue vibrator. "And I'm gonna fuck you with this."

"Oh holy shit," Kurt moans as he forces his cock between Blaine's eager lips. "Yes." He drives deeper down Blaine's throat when the slick vibrator is pushed swiftly inside, crying out when Blaine turns it on and holds it there, the sensation tingling throughout his body and making him grip Blaine's hair hard. "I'm...I'm..." he pulls out of Blaine's mouth quickly, jerking himself into his own fist twice before he spills over Blaine's face, onto his glasses, cheeks and lips. He hisses at the feel of the vibrator, but Blaine quickly pulls it out and blindly tugs Kurt down into a kiss, his sticky come running into both their mouths. 

"Lemme help you out there," Kurt whispers, kissing over Blaine's cheek until it is clean, taking his cock in hand and beginning to work it. "Clean you up," he murmurs as his pink tongue snakes out from between his lips, tracing along the streaks of white decorating the lenses of Blaine's glasses. 

"Oh Jesus Christ," Blaine moans, fingers digging into Kurt's shoulders as he bucks into his fist. "Kiss me. Get your come in your mouth and just....kiss me." 

Kurt does as he is told, getting rewarded with feeling Blaine hum around his tongue while he comes, falling back against the couch in a ragged boneless heap. 

"I should have gone to the eye doctor years ago," he quips, voice hoarse from taking Kurt so deep in his throat. 

"I hope they're not ruined," Kurt chuckles as he tenderly takes the glasses from his face. "God that was hot."

"I didn't fuck you."

"Later."

"Indeed."

"What the fuck is that?" Kurt yelps as he feels something cold and hard brushing over his backside. 

"Keep yourself open for me," Blaine whispers as he pushes the plug into Kurt. "I'm gonna cook dinner, then I have work to do, and then you and I are gonna have some fun."

"Don't we always?" 

*

The day after the glasses debacle, Blaine works from home. Kurt heads off to college, walking stiffly and telling Blaine that he doesn't know how he will manage ballet and Jazz in one day, but he is quick to reassure him that it was more than worth it.

By lunchtime Blaine has written three variations of the same jingle, hoping the rather picky advertising execs at Webster Evans will be happy with at least one of them, and he decides to take his lunch out onto the balcony, picking up his phone on the way through the living room to discover five new texts. 

Joe: You've broken my best friend. Can't wait to see your glasses and laugh uproariously in your face...provided it is clean.

Santana: Good god, you stop at nothing, do you? Mind you, I can see you probably do look stupidly sexy in a pair of glasses. Warning: Berry will be texting you.

Wes: Blaine. Well. I don't know what to say. Kathy wanted to know what I was laughing about, and I was that embarrassed on your behalf that I couldn't explain. 

Seb: Kurt is fearful he may never sit down again. Good on ya buddy! 

Rachel: BLAINE! KURT TELLS ME HE HAS RUINED YOUR BURBERRY GLASSES. OH, AND HIS ASS HURTS. ALSO, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU AND KURT WANTED TO VISIT US NEXT WEEKEND? FINN AND PUCK ARE COMING. THEY’RE CRASHING HERE BUT YOU ARE RICH ENOUGH TO GET A HOTEL FOR YOU AND KURT.

After sitting in dumb amazement for a while, he eventually decides to respond to Rachel first.   
Why do you always text/email/IM in CAPITALS? WHY? As for visiting...I'm not sure. I mean...it's New York. I don't know. Can I talk to Kurt about it and let you know? I kinda want to but I kinda don't.   
And Kurt is fine. A little sore maybe, but it's nothing compared to what he puts me through. 

BLAINE! She replies seconds later. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CAPITALS. IT TELLS YOU THAT MY MESSAGE NEEDS ATTENTION. I NEED ATTENTION. AS FOR NY- WELL, YES IT'S NY, THAT'S WHERE WE LIVE. BUT YES, TALK WITH KURT. I WASN'T REALLY EXPECTING YOU TO JUST ANNOUNCE IT TO HIM.

Placated, he smiles at her Rachel-ness, and then sends one group text- adding Kurt to the list. 

My fiancé has a big mouth. Useful for cock sucking, not so good for keeping secrets. Because of this, I have decided to film our wedding night, to save Kurt from having to live tweet the entire thing. Hummel: I'll see you at home. 

He hears back from all concerned except Kurt, who announces his presence very loudly later that afternoon by slamming the front door and screeching "BLAINE!", then stomping down the hall to the music room where he pauses in the doorway. 

"Yes?" Blaine asks innocently, swiveling on the piano bench to look at him. 

They stare at one another for a few seconds before they both burst into laughter, Kurt going to his fiancé, draping himself over his back, arms resting over his shoulders. "You're wicked," he says, still laughing as Blaine closes the piano before encouraging him into his lap.

"I'm wicked? Who started this thing?"

"In my defense, I only text Rachel, and then Joe wanted to know why I was walking funny. I told him it was because I'd spent four hours with a butt plug in my ass and he choked on his coffee."

"Nice."

"But that text, Blaine...that text..."

"That text what?" he laughs. "That text was wildly inappropriate? It divulged a little too much information? I beat you at your own game, Hummel. Now suck it."

"With relish," Kurt laughs, leaning in to kiss the sensitive spot just under his ear. "Did you have a good day?"

"Productive," he nods. 

"Did you call your parents?"

"Yes, and the doctor said they're happy that dad has now made a full recovery. It's been a long road I guess, but he was right. He did it."

"He did. And you know each time we've seen them he looks stronger, more like he used to."

"Oh, and Rachel text. She's invited us to visit them next weekend. Finn and Puck are going too."

"New York?" Kurt asks in surprise.

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay, well....it's your decision."

"It's not my decision," Blaine says. "I want us to talk about it and decide together."

"Do you want to go?"

"I do and I don't," Blaine admits honestly. "I mean...it could be fun, and we haven't seen any of them since New Years. I also think it's a bit unfair that they always come here to visit us but we never return the favor."

"That's because you pay for their flights," Kurt points out. "They're not dumb."

"Well that may be so, but...yeah, I feel like we should go but...but I don't want to make a fool of myself."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asks softly, looking into his eyes with concern.

"I don't....I don't want to end up having a panic attack or something.... And I'm scared the nightmares might come back. When I came that time to find you, I was determined, focused on winning you back and nothing else. Even as I was driving into the city I was just so busy thinking about you that I didn't even notice where I was or what I was doing."

"But you were willing to live there," Kurt reminds him.

"For you, yes. I'd do anything for you. But I just didn't allow myself to think about the possible long term consequences because getting you to love me again was more important."

"I never stopped loving you," Kurt tells him, running a reassuring hand over his back. "So...aside from wanting to placate the girls...tell me why you want to go."

"Lots of reasons. I think it could be fun. I'd like to do all the touristy stuff with you, and take you shopping obviously, but also....this will sound ridiculous but... I don't want to end up with a husband on Broadway and I'm frightened to go sit in a seat and watch him perform. I want to get over this mental barrier now, in my own time, as opposed to suddenly being faced with no alternative. I also don't want to be the parent of a teenager and they're begging to go visit there and I'm holding back, refusing to go." 

"Okay," Kurt nods, "So...aside from the obvious 'it's New York' tell me why you don't want to go."

"I love Rachel and Santana dearly...but sometimes...they're a bit much. And I don't know how well I'll deal with an already stressful situation if Rach is screeching, Puck is just wanting to go out drinking and Santana is continually moaning about her lack of sex life. It's just...it's bound to be intense with them, it always is, which is why we sleep so well after they've left. I don't mean to do them a disservice, but when we were all in Ohio we only had to deal with them in little bits. I'm scared that I'll end up losing my temper or...or crying and ruining the whole trip." 

"So.... How about this?" Kurt asks as he takes his hand in his. "We fly out Friday lunchtime, and meet everyone for dinner that night. Saturday we spend alone, being tourists and maybe we meet up with them for a few drinks in the evening, but nothing too heavy. Sunday we all meet for brunch before you and I fly back in the afternoon. I promise faithfully to hold you in my arms while you sleep, and to be there whenever you need me. If a panic attack happens then we'll just calmly get a cab back to the hotel and stay there until you feel better. If at any point anything makes you feel uncomfortable all you have to do is look at me and I'll know, and we can walk away, Blaine. I also swear to you, that while I may text Rachel the odd little detail about our sex life, I would never, ever tell anyone if you were having nightmares or finding stuff hard to deal with."

"Why are you so wonderful?" Blaine asks, bowing his head against Kurt's chest. 

"Because I have a rather fabulous fiancé who needs a little looking after sometimes," he says as he kisses the top of his head. 

"I'll book the flights."

"You want to go?"

"Yeah." Blaine looks up, a small hint of a smile on his face. "Because you make me feel so safe...so loved. And I know you wouldn't ever tell anyone this stuff, you don't even need to explain." 

"I'm proud of you," Kurt smiles, kissing his lips softly. "Very proud."

"I didn't even ask if you wanted to go," Blaine frowns, "I'm assuming you do?"

"Yeah, I do. I need to ask Rach to be my maid of honor anyway."

"It won't feel weird?"

"Not at all. I regret nothing. I'm living in the most amazing city with my wonderful fiancé and we're happy. New York was fine...good, even. But you weren't there and it was never where we were meant to be. Now, bring your laptop into the kitchen, book the flights and talk to me while I cook dinner." 

"I need to send some of this music over anyway," Blaine says as he settles at the table. "Let's just hope they approve this time."

"I still don't see what was wrong with the last lot," Kurt comments as he takes ingredients from the fridge.

"Neither do I, but they're picky. I guess they have every right to be, they're spending millions on this campaign."

"Shame you're not getting paid millions," Kurt says with a rueful smile.

"I'm getting paid fifty grand though."

"Wow. I didn't know that. Is that what Kendal's pay?"

"Seventy five, but there's more work for them. Webster Evans are prepared to match that if I'll go exclusive- just work for them and Kendal's and no one else."

"Why don't you then?"

"Do you think I should?"

"If you could still do your session music then yes. Not because we need the money from the sessions but because I know how much you enjoy them. I'm assuming those salaries are annual?"

"Yes," Blaine says as he clicks on his email. "It would be rather excessive if it was monthly.... Ugh." Suddenly frowning, he closes his email and pushes back from the table, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. 

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Just a stupid email. That's all." 

"Want to chat to single girls in your area?" Kurt quips. 

"Ha! No...just...dumb shit."

"Try me."

Blaine hesitates a moment, tempted to brush it off as he sits back at the table once more. But one look at Kurt's face tells him this is not an option, so he sighs heavily and gives in. "They want me to audition for the symphony again." 

"What? That's fantastic!" Kurt laughs, walking over to the table. "You're gonna do it, right?"

"It's not fantastic and no I'm not going to do it," Blaine says petulantly. "I failed last time, in case you'd forgotten."

"You didn't fail," Kurt says as he sits in the adjacent chair. "You lost out to someone with more experience. Is it for percussion again?"

"Violin."

"But this is what you wanted!" Kurt cries. "You have to go for it Blaine, you have to."

"I don't have to do anything," he says brusquely. "And I'm not auditioning again. That's final."

"But you really..."

"I said no, Kurt. End of discussion." He shuts the laptop and stands quickly, stalking off to his music room and leaving Kurt to swallow over the lump in his throat before continuing with dinner. He shakes his head in disbelief when he hears some kind of violin concerto being played, his mood now mutinous as he serves their meal and stomps down the hall. 

"Blaine! Your dinner is on the table." 

He stomps back, scowling in his chair as he pushes his salmon around the plate with his fork, not even looking up when Blaine settles opposite. "Thank you for dinner," he says meekly, wincing when Kurt does nothing but huff. "I'm um...I'm sorry for getting angry back there."

"Whatever."

"Don't do this," Blaine pleads.

"I can do what I want."

"You regress into adolescence whenever things don't go your way," Blaine argues. "You are twenty years old, Kurt. Not twelve."

"Yes, twenty years old," Kurt fumes. "Old enough to be engaged to you, adult enough to have a relationship which stands on equal footing...and yet...and yet it's fine for you to tell me I should go to London...but when I even attempt to suggest you should audition you tell me no and refuse to discuss it any further. And then...then! You take out your annoyance and frustration by going and playing the most exquisite piece of music on the very same instrument you refuse to audition with." 

"I can't go through the rejection again, Kurt, I just can't. It hurt so bad last time."

"Yeah, because we were left with no money, but that won't happen this time! You've just been telling me that potentially you're going to earn a hundred and fifty thousand dollars this year Blaine! What have you got to lose?"

"My pride...again? The eternal sense of shame that I have from feeling like I let you down? The feeling of being good, but never quite good enough?"

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs, pushing his dinner to one side as he climbs into his lap. "Listen to me." Winding his dark curls around his fingers, Kurt presses a small kiss to his temple before continuing. "You could never let me down, for a start, so please stop thinking that way. And if it's pride... Well we don't have to tell a single soul that you're going for this if you don't want to. As for never feeling good enough... The last time you auditioned for them on the violin you got the gig. You didn't get the percussion, but you said yourself it's not where your natural abilities lie. They wouldn't keep asking you to audition if they didn't like you as a person, or believe you were gifted at music. Why would they bother? They can invite people to audition, Blaine, they don't have to run an advert in the Tribune asking for candidates. I'm going to say something to you that you told me months ago, when I was sulking about potentially going to London. I want you to do this, and I think that if you're being honest with yourself, you'll admit you want to do it too." 

"I shoulda known that would come back to bite me on the ass," Blaine grouches as he tries to hide in Kurt's neck. 

"When's the audition?"

"Two weeks."

"Want me to come hold your hand?"

"I can't play the violin if you're holding my hand," Blaine smiles.

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll do it.... For you, more than anything. But not a word to anyone."

"I promise."


	23. Chapter 23

"You okay?" Kurt asks for what feels like the billionth time as he clasps Blaine's hand tightly in his own and they head toward the subway. 

"Yes. Honestly. Really." He smiles, but his heart isn't in it and Kurt can tell as he swallows nervously. 

"Actually....why don't we just take a cab?" he asks brightly, stopping at the top of the steps. "White jeans and the subway is just asking for trouble."

"Thank you," Blaine says, shoulders sagging with relief. 

He relaxes once they're seated in the Mexican restaurant and he has a beer in his hand. Kurt nuzzles closer, up and under his jaw where he places a sweet kiss. "You're being very brave."

"The subway threw me a bit. It's the same line I used to get to Luke's. It's funny....I can talk about him and our time together now without feeling any remorse. Sadness that he's gone- oddly enough I would have liked for him to meet you- but I don't feel guilty anymore. And yet...here...seeing things that remind me of my time here...it's just...I feel like I can't breathe." 

"Because it's not him that makes you feel this way, it's how you were after he died," Kurt explains patiently. "I know you're fearful of turning into that person again, but don't be. Please. Because you're past that now. You're not that man anymore just as I'm not that shy little kid who gets bullied. We've changed, through finding each other and becoming secure enough in our relationship to the point where we want to marry each other. All those dark times are behind both of us now...we have each other to lean on."

"You're...all...grown up," Blaine says, entranced by the way Kurt speaks. "My god, I just love you so much. Why does it have to be so long until the wedding?"

"It doesn't have to be," Kurt grins, "we could marry tomorrow if you so choose."

"Tempting...but no. I know it will happen, and I know it will be perfect. No sense in rushing it and compromising on the service we want just because we got impatient."

"It's only fourteen months, anyway."

"What's fourteen months?" Finn asks as he arrives at their table, followed by Rachel, Santana and Puck.

"Our wedding," Kurt grins as he hugs his brother tight.

"Ugh," Santana rolls her eyes as she kisses Blaine's cheek. "So that's the way this evening is going to go, is it? Child bride and Sugar Daddy are gonna bore us all with talk of color schemes and rehearsal dinners....ow! Blaine, did you just kick me?"

"Yes," he grins. "Now sit down and be quiet." 

Their evening is loud, raucous and a whole lot of fun. Rachel cries almost uncontrollably when Kurt asks her to be maid of honor, until Santana smugly points out that Blaine asked her before he even proposed. Puck never stops saying how happy he is for them, and begs Blaine to be allowed to organize his bachelor party.

"Why mine?" he laughs. "Why not Kurt's?" 

"Because he'll probably do something completely gay. You're the wild one."

"Joe is organizing mine," Kurt says with a faint blush. "Apparently I'm having two. One which is acceptable for our dad's to attend, and one which isn't," he pauses, fiddling with his drink. "And that involves a stripper."

"What?!" Blaine cries loudly, "I'll kill him."

"Totally blowing your party off to go to Hummel's," Santana drawls. 

"Completely," Puck agrees as Rachel's face lights up. 

"Finn, you can go to Blaine's and I'll go to Kurt's," she says as she pats his arm. 

"Um...Wes is sorting mine out. I think it's just pizza, really," he says quietly, still smarting from Kurt's revelation. "I'm guessing Seb will choose to go to Kurt's...and probably Nick and Jeff too."

"Or...." Kurt says, suddenly hit with an idea. "How about this? We have a huge meal together, family and friends- and then we have a party without the family element, but with the stripper."

"What's the deal with a stripper?" Blaine huffs. "Am I not good enough?"

"Of course you are," he placates, "and you're welcome to be the stripper if you so choose, honey. But I've just always wanted a stripper for my bachelor party, that's all." 

"So we would have a joint bachelor party?"

"Yes. And I promise to take you home, and not the stripper."

"Okay," he laughs. "Yeah. I like the sound of that." 

They sit in the restaurant until late, talking and catching up with each other until the waiters have piled the chairs onto all the other tables and stand there frustratedly, waiting for them to settle their bill and leave- which they do eventually. 

"Back to ours for coffee?" Santana asks as she links her arms between Kurt and Blaine. 

"Thanks, but I think we'll pass," Kurt says, much to Blaine's relief. "Lots of fabulously gay sex to have and all that," he adds, making Blaine blush and stare at the floor.

"Thought as much," Rachel smiles. "We'll catch up with you tomorrow." 

They say their goodbyes and find a cab, Kurt putting his arm around Blaine's shoulders once they're moving. "I was only joking about the sex," he whispers into Blaine's ear. 

"I don't think I can," he whispers back, mortified. "I mean I had fun but I'm just kinda...."

"You're not going to relax until we're home."

"Not properly, no. I'm sorry. I am trying."

"I know you are, and you're doing really well. It's fine. We had a good night, it was good to see everyone and now we can go back and get some rest ready for tomorrow." 

"I owe you everything," Blaine says as he plays with the buttons of his jacket. 

"You owe Wes too.... I might have called him before we came to discuss a few things with him," Kurt admits shyly. "I needed to know places I should avoid, things that might upset you or whatever...and I didn't want to force you to talk about it." 

"I can't pay Wes back with fabulously gay sex though," he smiles. 

"No....but I was thinking we could maybe have a short vacation with him and Kathy this summer."

"You kidding? Yeah, I'd love that," he grins brightly in the dark. "That'd be awesome."

He falls into a contented sleep that night, head on Kurt's chest as is their habit. Kurt follows soon after, happy to hear Blaine's usual little snuffles and snores escaping him as he dreams. The nightmare hits in the early hours. If Blaine had been forced to explain what it was about he wouldn't have been able to say, just that it was the same faceless figure hanging in the doorway as he always used to see, and when he looks down he sees blood, thick and dark red, oozing from between his fingers. He wakes with a start, his own screams having finally roused him but Kurt is there. Kurt, who holds him and rocks him gently back and forth, who smoothes his hair and remembers Wes' advice about whispering rather than talking, and reassuring him over and over that it's all gone, the nightmare is no more and he's here, he's here.

Eventually Blaine is placated once again, falling asleep with Kurt's pajama top fisted tightly in his hands, his body hiccuping with occasional sobs which gradually subside. Extracting himself delicately, Kurt quickly removes his shirt before holding Blaine close once more and waiting for the sun to rise, before eventually falling back to sleep just as the room fills with a pink glow.

"Hey," Kurt croaks as he stretches and yawns.

"Hey." Blaine is propped on one elbow, looking down at him. "I've been watching you sleep."

"Not creepy at all," Kurt smiles, reaching up to find the back of his neck and pull him into a kiss. "You okay?"

"I need to apologize."

"No you don't." Kurt sits against the pillows, rubbing his eyes for a second. "Please don't. We knew there was a chance of this happening, I'm more concerned about you than anything."

"I'm okay," Blaine says humbly. "I feel bad for waking you. I don't really remember much, just that it was the same dream I always used to get, and that it was you holding me when I woke up and not Wes."

"Wanna know why I think it came back?" Kurt asks. "You're stressing about it too much. Let's just treat this as any other city. It's just another place. Nameless, faceless. We can go out and about today and look at it with fresh eyes, as if we've never seen any of the places before. I'm not saying you won't dream tonight, but it might just help if you relax during the day."

"Okay," Blaine says decisively. "Okay."

"So...where first? Empire State? Statue of Liberty?"

"You have got to be kidding me," Blaine says, mouth hanging open. "Too high. I can't...."

"I know that, you fool. I'm just messing. Tell me where you'd like to go."

"Oh. Um....well... Gosh. I don't know. Um...we could go get coffee in Central Park? I always liked it there."

"Good!" Kurt smiles. "Excellent. Central Park here we come." 

*

"Feeling better?" Kurt asks as Blaine sits on a nearby bench and takes great lungfuls of air. 

"Much. I'm sorry I couldn't manage breakfast."

"Don't worry about it," he says lightly. "I'm pretty sure I've managed to eat enough for the both of us anyway," he smiles down at him, face falling into a frown when he notices how tired Blaine looks. "Come on. Let's walk a little, then we can go back to the hotel and rest." 

He links his arm through the one Blaine offers and they stroll through the spring sunshine together, taking in their surroundings for a while until Kurt nudges Blaine with his shoulder. "So.... The wedding."

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering if you had any thoughts on what our last name should be?"

"Oh, well...." The distraction works well for Blaine as he walks along thinking about it for a moment. "Well...I don't know really...um..."

"Because I wouldn't mind becoming Kurt Anderson."

"Really?"

"I thought that might surprise you," Kurt smiles.

"Yeah, it does." Scrunching his nose in thought they walk along quietly for a moment more until they reach the fountain where Blaine sits on the edge. "We can do that if you want...."

"But?"

"But I guess I always assumed we would hyphenate. I don't know."

"The Berry's didn't."

"True," Blaine nods as Kurt sits next to him, "but they're not actually legally married anyway. Whose name is it?"

"Leroy's I think."

"Anyway, that doesn't matter. For me, I look on marriage more as a union. A coming together of two people... I don't really think you giving up your last name would reflect that. Plus, as an only child I think it would be nice for you to be able to pass it along to your child one day."

"Yeah...I guess I didn't think of that," Kurt says quietly, perhaps a little sadly- prompting Blaine to take his hand in his. 

"You could always use Kurt Anderson as your stage name, if you wanted?" he suggests. 

"Oh yes!" Kurt brightens considerably at the thought. "Could I? You wouldn't mind?"

"Why would I mind?" Blaine laughs. "I'd be honored."

"Let's do that, then!" he cries animatedly. "We'll hyphenate and I'll take your name for stage work. Ooh!" he claps his hands, making Blaine laugh. "Exciting!"

"Good," Blaine says, swooping in to kiss his lips briefly. "I'm glad that's worked out."

"Anderson-Hummel, or Hummel-Anderson though?" Kurt asks, making Blaine drop his head into his hands and laugh again. 

"Anderson-Hummel I guess, it's alphabetical." 

"Hummel-Anderson sounds better though," Kurt points out. "It flows better. Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson."

"Okay. That's fine by me," Blaine says as he grins broadly. "Actually, this is quite possibly the best conversation I've ever had."

"That's settled then. The Anderson-Hummels it is," Kurt says with an emphatic nod. 

"Hummel-Andersons."

"Yes!" Kurt cries as he bursts into over excitable laughter. "That!" 

Giddy with happiness, they begin to walk again, though for Kurt it is more like a bounce as he tries to contain his joy. "Wedding rings," he says loudly as he runs his thumb over Blaine's engagement ring.

"Yes?"

"Matching?"

"I think so, don't you?"

"Yes," Kurt nods. "Which means we will have to find some kind of compromise because I like sparkly things and you like manly things, but that's what will make them perfect. A joining together of hands and hearts," he says, twirling on the spot with a flourish. "I'm thinking I'll move my engagement ring to my right hand."

"Same," Blaine captures him around the waist, drawing him close and kissing him deep and long, daring to run his tongue along Kurt's lip before nipping at it slightly. "God I love you," he whispers into his mouth. "I love all of this."

"Me too," Kurt laughs as he allows himself to be dipped and kissed again. "Come on. Let's go back and get some rest," he says, suddenly anxious for Blaine's well being once more.

"Nah," Blaine says as he sets Kurt on his feet and takes his hand, "let’s not waste the day. There's somewhere I want us to visit."

"Tiffany's?" Kurt yells in Blaine's face as they stop on the busy sidewalk.

"Wedding ring shopping," Blaine grins.

"Are you serious? Now? And at Tiffanys?”

“Why not?” Blaine says, laughing at Kurt’s eyes which are now as wide as saucers. “We have to choose them sometime...and you know what Tiffany means...”

“Diamonds!” Kurt shouts happily as he drags Blaine toward the door. 

An hour later and Kurt is on the last tray as the ever patient assistant smiles indulgently at this over excited, yet incredibly picky young man. Blaine stands right by his side throughout, more than happy to let Kurt have his say, and obligingly holding his hand out whenever it is requested by his fiancé. 

“Nope,” Kurt says as he pulls the ring from Blaine’s right finger. “That one doesn’t look right either.”

“I liked that one,” Blaine says quietly. 

“I didn't,” Kurt says as he turns his attention back to the tray. “How about this one?”

“That is vile. Don’t even think about putting that on my hand because I am telling you, no.”

“Suit yourself,” Kurt shrugs, though there is a playfulness behind his words. 

“I like that one,” Blaine says, pointing to a thick platinum band with five rows of small diamonds around it, sparkling under the lights of the display. 

“So do I,” Kurt agrees, “but have you seen the price?”

“Eight thousand,” Blaine says as he looks down the list. “That’s cheaper than your engagement ring.”

“Yes, but there’s two.”

“Try it on,” Blaine urges. “These are our wedding rings, Kurt. I don’t give a damn how much they cost, they’re going to be on our hands for a lifetime. They have to be perfect for us.”

Kurt slips the ring on and stares down at his right hand, blinking back tears. It is too big for his slender finger, but it still looks completely perfect and he swallows thickly before handing it to Blaine to try. 

“Well, I think we’ve found the one,” Blaine says, voice hoarse with emotion as he admires his fingers with Kurt. 

“I think so too,” Kurt whispers, hooking his chin over Blaine’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Blaine and Kurt Anderson-Hummel. Husbands,” he says, kissing just above the collar of his shirt. 

“Hummel-Anderson,” Blaine corrects. 

“That’s the one,” Kurt laughs. 

“All set?” the assistant asks politely. 

“I think so,” Blaine tells her. “Can I ask, would it be very inappropriate of me to kiss my man right here, right now?”

“Probably,” she grins. “But insanely cute. Hand me your phone.”

Blaine does as he’s told, waiting until she holds it up with the camera ready. “Go for it,” she says, and Blaine does, turning to cradle Kurt’s face with one hand, the other resting on his hip as he brings his lips to Kurt’s who sighs happily into the kiss, hands coming up to fist the front of Blaine’s shirt lightly. 

“You two are adorable,” the assistant says as they pull apart to rest their foreheads together. “When’s the wedding?”

“May thirty first, next year,” Kurt says, still breathless from the kiss as he finds himself unable to tear his eyes away from Blaine. “It can't come quick enough.”

*

“And so then they measured us,” Kurt is telling Rachel excitedly over cocktails that evening. “And they said it's going to be three months to have them made, but Blaine wants to get them engraved on the inside so it might take a little longer.”

“What are you getting engraved on yours, Hummel?” Santana asks. “Top? Bottom? or just child bride?”

“None of those, thank you,” Blaine says with a glare. “And I’m not telling. It’ll be my surprise for Kurt.”

“In that case I want to choose the engraving for yours,” Kurt tells him. 

“Fine by me,” Blaine answers with a shrug. 

“Sounds like you had a full on day,” Finn notes as he drinks from his beer. 

“We did. After ring shopping Blaine took me to Saks. Oh my goodness...we had so much fun.”

“My credit card didn't,” Blaine laughs. 

“Then we had lunch, visited Times Square, walked along Broadway and...”

“Went to the museum,” Blaine rushes in hastily, shooting a warning look to Kurt.

“Of sex,” he finishes as Blaine's head thumps onto the table. 

“Woah!” Puck cheers. “I didn't know there was one!”

“Well there is,” Kurt says. “And though it was quite interesting, it wasn't nearly as...”

“Arousing?” Finn offers.

“Yes. It wasn't arousing at all. Very clinical.” 

“I’m sure Blaine can rectify that for you,” Santana laughs, ruffling his hair as he blushes and stares at the floor. 

“Hey Rach, you wanna visit?” Finn asks with a grin.

“No I do not,” she says primly as she tugs on her cardigan. “Thank you.”

Blaine and Kurt say their goodnights early, and Blaine surprises Kurt by suggesting they walk back to the hotel since it’s only a few blocks. “So...I had fun today,” he says as he laces his fingers with Kurt’s. “Like, a whole lot of fun.”

“Me too,” Kurt agrees. “I wasn't expecting to come here and choose wedding rings. Mind you...I wasn't expecting to visit a sex museum either. Times Square pales in comparison.”

Blaine laughs softly. “Yeah, it was...interesting. We can say we’ve been, at least. Some of those ancient dildos looked more like instruments of torture.”

“They probably were. The shop was good though- even if you did spend a ridiculous amount of money.”

“I wasn’t too bad. Better than you were in Saks, anyway,” Blaine says as he pokes his tongue out. “And it’s all stuff we need..or will use, anyhow.”

“You do not need penis pasta or a rainbow dildo,” Kurt laughs as he gives him a playful shove. “But I’m looking forward to trying those beads sometime. And I have a feeling the waterproof vibrator will become my best friend when you have to go away.”

“See? Stuff we need,” Blaine smiles before stopping Kurt in the street to kiss him, his fingers sliding through his soft hair as Kurt moans against his tongue. “But I need you most of all.”

Not entirely sure what Blaine is insinuating, and not wanting to push him too far, Kurt just smiles softly and takes his hand once more. They stay silent until they’re back in their room, where Blaine flips a small side lamp on before taking Kurt’s jacket for him, hanging it carefully in the closet then moving to stand in front of him. 

“Can I kiss you again?” he asks uncertainly. “It’s just you look so beautiful like this and I...”

“You never have to ask,” Kurt reassures as his hand comes to rest at the base of Blaine’s neck. “Whatever it is you’re worrying about, let it go.”

“I'm worried I won’t be able to finish the job,” he laughs, embarrassed. 

“There’s no job to finish,” Kurt tells him as he lets his tongue slide out to trace around the shell of Blaine’s ear. “Since nothing has been started. Now kiss me.”

Blaine loses himself in the kiss, allowing his senses to become overwhelmed with all things Kurt, revelling in the feel of his hands running over his back, moving to the waistband of his pants and untucking his shirt. His mouth opens wider under Kurt’s touch, yielding to his tongue and groaning in his throat as he feels himself getting hard. He walks them back toward the bed, falling onto the mattress and tugging Kurt down on top of him, mind, body and soul connecting with this young man as Kurt hastily unbuttons his shirt and spreads it wide, moving his mouth in a trail down Blaine’s neck and chest to suck one nipple into his mouth lightly, making Blaine arch his back and cry out. He moves to lick across the other nipple as his nimble fingers make quick work of Blaine’s belt and fly, reaching inside to rub over his erection, just about contained in his briefs. 

Whimpering softly as their lips find each other once more, Blaine fumbles for the buttons on Kurt’s vest and pulls it from his shoulders impatiently. Grinding down, Kurt pulls his own shirt over his head, buttons seeming to take too long as his cock strains within the confines of his pants. For a split second he hesitates, wondering if he should ask Blaine if he’s okay but fearful it will jolt him back to reality. But then Blaine’s leg comes up, wrapping around his waist and drawing him close and all coherent thought is forgotten as Blaine sucks a hickey below his jaw and they grind roughly against one another. 

Shucking out of his pants and boxer briefs, Kurt slides down the bed, pulling Blaine’s pants and underwear off too before trailing hot open mouthed kisses along the inside of his thighs. Dropping a kiss to the tip of Blaine’s cock- hard and dripping already- he smiles his thanks to Blaine as he reaches to the nightstand and grabs the bottle of lube, pressing it insistently into Kurt’s hand. 

Blaine spreads his legs wide, moaning his pleasure as a slick finger traces a line from his cock to his entrance, circling and teasing as Blaine bucks his hips, his noises becoming louder and more desperate. Kurt leans down to take him in his mouth, but Blaine places one hand on his shoulder and shakes his head, signalling with his eyes that he needs kisses. So Kurt lies alongside him, slowly fingering him open while their mouths and tongues move together and Kurt ruts helplessly against Blaine’s thigh until he’s taking three fingers with ease when he moves to kneel between his legs. 

They both groan happily when Kurt pushes inside, his eyes falling shut with pleasure as he stills, buried deep. Blaine keeps his eyes open, watching his face with endless fascination as Kurt grips the backs of his knees and starts to move, biting hard on his lip to keep from yelling and spoiling the moment. He builds to a steady rhythm, at which point he opens his eyes and smiles down at Blaine, who arches up for a kiss which is sloppy yet perfect as Kurt falls onto his elbows and drives deeper. He knows the moment he’s grazed over Blaine’s prostate because his head thumps back onto the pillow as one hand grabs at Kurt’s ass and he brings the other one to his cock, aching and now desperate for release. Stroking slowly, he waits, bides his time until he can feel Kurt picking up the pace, his thrusts becoming erratic and then both let go, coming silently as Kurt buries his face in the sweaty crook of Blaine’s neck and inhales sharply. They stay that way for the longest time, Kurt’s hips rocking gently as their breathing slowly calms and eventually Kurt rolls away, grabbing a handful of tissues and wiping tiredly at Blaine’s stomach. They still don't speak as Kurt holds his arm out for Blaine to nuzzle close, rubbing their noses together as they smile, brilliant, bright and dazzling before Kurt kisses him tenderly and flips out the light. 

Both sleep soundly.


	24. Chapter 24

"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this," Blaine repeats over and over as he stares at his own reflection. He leans down to the running tap, cupping some water in his hand and splashing it over his face before standing again, whispering his mantra while he takes a napkin and dries his hands. He hears a toilet flush and waits for Kurt to emerge, watching in the mirror as he walks toward him. 

"Talking to yourself," he says with a look which almost matches Blaine's in its nervousness. "Not a good sign. I worried this would send you crazy."

"Yeah." Blaine does a funny little jump on the spot, rolling his neck and trying to release some of the tension. "Just trying to psych myself up a little bit."

"You all set?"

"I guess."

"Positivity is key, Blaine," Kurt says as he holds the door open for him and they step into the foyer of the Symphony Center, their feet echoing as they walk toward the orchestra hall. "Just remember that."

"Yes," Blaine nods as he tries not to think about what is to come. "Christ I feel sick."

"Puke all you want to afterward," Kurt tells him as he takes his hand in his, "but right now you have an audition." 

Blaine gives his name to the waiting clerk and is directed to take a seat along with several other candidates who all look as worried as he feels. 

"There's so many," he whispers to Kurt. "There was only four last time."

"I guess it's quite a sought after position," Kurt murmurs as he studies the auditionees. "You're by far the hottest though."

"What's that's got to do with anything?" Blaine laughs as he bumps their shoulders together.

"Nothing, but it got you smiling." 

"True," he says gratefully.

His name is called quickly- Blaine doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse to be so high up the alphabetical list- but he stands, smoothing invisible wrinkles from his suit and taking a great shaking breath.

"Okay," Kurt says as he stands and rests his hands on his shoulders. "Just go for it. I'll be here, waiting. I love you, old man."

"You too, gorgeous boy," Blaine says distractedly, picking up his violin case and kissing him quickly on the cheek. "You too."

Kurt feels like he waits forever, pacing restlessly past the door to the auditorium until the clerk points out it's sound proofed and he won't hear anything. After that he sits in his seat, fidgeting and unable to stay still or focus on anything. Ten minutes pass, then twenty, thirty...and finally fifty minutes later, Blaine emerges. His hair has become damp and disheveled, broken free from the tight gel confines Blaine forced it into this morning- which tells Kurt he's been playing with passion at least. His cheeks are flushed, his golden eyes sparkling as he falls into his chair. 

"Well I've passed round one," he says, the relief evident in his voice. 

"Round one?" Kurt asks incredulously. "That was only one round?"

"Two more to go," Blaine nods. "Sight reading and interview."

They sit in relative quiet as the rest of the candidates take their turns- though Kurt notes with worry that no one takes as long as Blaine does. He doesn't dare voice this, of course, but he can see Blaine has noticed it too from the way he keeps looking at his watch each time the door opens. By the end of the round most have gone, leaving only Blaine and four others. He is called again, the kindly clerk placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she ushers him inside, and this time Kurt manages to catch a glimpse of the stage set with several musicians ready to play with him. 

He tries to focus on candy crush but his heart's not in it, and he is pleasantly surprised when the door opens after just twenty minutes. But when Blaine emerges, everything in Kurt plummets. He is white and shaking, the tears evident in his eyes as he walks right past Kurt and around the corner, where he hurries to catch him. 

"Blaine!"

He stops, leaning against the wall before sliding to the floor and burying his head in his hands. "What is it?" Kurt asks, rushing to kneel at his side, a worried and protective arm going around his back. "What happened?"

"They said they'd seen enough," he says, lifting his head, still looking for all the world like he is going to vomit there and then. "I...I...I played like...half the sight piece and they stopped me. Said they didn't need me to play anymore and they didn't want to interview me either....They offered me the job, Kurt.... I got in."

"What?!" Kurt's shriek is loud, ricocheting off the walls as he winces and lowers his tone. "I'm sorry....what? You got in? You really got in?"

"I got in," Blaine repeats. "I'm a member of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra." 

"Oh my god!" Kurt laughs. "I knew you could do it, I knew it!" 

Blaine still looks dazed and confused as Kurt tries to hug him, and he gives a small shake of his head as if trying to clear his mind for a moment. "I did it," he whispers. "I really did."

"You really did," Kurt agrees with a smile, holding his arms out and this time Blaine falls into his embrace, kissing him fiercely before pulling back with a grin. 

"Holy fucking hell Kurt!" he cries, shaking his head again and hugging Kurt tight. "I did it! I'm in!"

"What happened to the rest of the candidates?" Kurt suddenly asks in confusion.

"There were two positions. Second and third violins. I got second but I think they're carrying on with the process to appoint the third."

"What's third violin?"

"Like reserve," Blaine explains. "First and seconds are full time members, thirds are on a rota and called when needed."

"Pah!" Kurt scoffs as Blaine puts his finger to his lips, urging him to be quiet. "Oh my god Blaine I am so happy for you! So, so happy! Who you gonna call first? Your parents or Wes?"

"No one just yet," Blaine says as he stands on still shaking legs and pulls Kurt up. "We're gonna go get coffee and a huge slice of cake and then tonight I'm taking you out to dinner to celebrate."

"Uh-uh," Kurt disagrees. "Coffee and cake, yes. But I'm taking you out tonight, with my money to celebrate the fact that I have the most talented, wonderful, beautiful and all round amazing fiancé the world has ever seen," he grins. 

"I don't know about that," Blaine says, suddenly shy.

"Would you be quiet?" Kurt asks, rolling his eyes fondly. "I'm always right, remember? Always. Now, someone promised me coffee and cake." 

They head to the nearest Starbucks and Kurt waits on line for their drinks before they settle into seats by the window, still giddy with excitement. 

"So....details," Kurt says around a mouthful of cake. "When do you start? What hours? Can you still do advertising work?"

"Umm well I start next week, I have to go in for rehearsals four days a week from eight until one. Yes I can keep my advertising stuff, but I'm going to quit the session work. There doesn't seem any need for me to keep it on, and while I've always enjoyed it, the commercials are much more lucrative and I have to be honest here...I've actually come to feel quite proud of the work I've done."

"You should be," Kurt agrees. "I don't think you need to take too much on though, maybe just keep Kendall's and Webster Evans. Presumably you'll be salaried from the orchestra?"

"Um...yes." Blaine pauses to clear his throat. "Quite well."

"I seem to remember the starting figure was a hundred grand?" Kurt says in as much of an offhanded manner as he can muster.

"Violins earn more. I'll start on..." he stops talking and traces out the digits 125 on the table with his finger.

"I love you," Kurt smiles."did I mention that I love you? I love you. I could also do with some new shoes."

"Yes Kurt," Blaine says, voice weary but eyes twinkling with laughter. "We can go shopping. Again."

"Thank you," he smiles. "So when is your first concert?"

"Two months. But it's only one night here....then it's a tour," he says, face falling into an uncertain frown. "It's just along the East Coast," he adds hastily. "And it's only three weeks."

"Blaine, that's okay," Kurt says as he reaches out to cover his hand with his own. "We knew all this. It's fine."

"You can come with me, you'll be on summer break by then."

"Actually... I'm thinking I might go away myself this summer," Kurt says nervously. 

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I was thinking I could audition for a few touring productions. There's lots going on."

"No camp?"

"Well Joe is flying to LA to film that role he got offered in London. He said he could get me a job doing costume work for it, but I can't always be with him. So I figured I might just take this chance to try and get my first professional gig." 

"That's wonderful," Blaine beams. 

"And we still have our five days with Wes and Kathy in Virginia Beach," Kurt points out. "And of course our week in LA."

"We do," Blaine swallows over the lump that has risen in his throat. "I'll miss you though."

"And I, you," Kurt says as he kisses his hand. "But we need to pursue our dreams."

"We do."

"Wait a minute," Kurt says suddenly, setting his cup back on the table. "East Coast...doesn't that mean New York?"

"Uh...yeah," Blaine nods as he stares at the table. "But I think I'll be okay. It's three nights there...and you know... You made it so much better for me..."

"I'll come with you," Kurt says decisively, cutting Blaine off quickly before he can object. "Whatever happens, whatever job I get I promise you I will spend those three nights with you in New York, okay?"

"But..."

"Don't even begin to object, Blaine Anderson-Hummel to be."

"Hummel-Anderson," Blaine corrects.

"That's what I said. Sort of."

"Thank you," Blaine whispers as his eyes shine with unshed tears. "I didn't want to ask."

"I know you didn't. Which is why I'm telling you." 

"Thank you for everything," Blaine says, coming around the table to squash into the armchair alongside Kurt, draping his legs over his and not caring who thinks what about it. "Not just that, but...so much. Especially recently. You made that trip to New York for me, because you were so strong yet so tender and kind. And I wouldn't even have attempted to audition today if it weren't for you railroading me into it," he pauses to smile at Kurt's indignation. "You always know what's best for me, because you keep me in your heart...and I can seriously never thank you enough for that."

"We could have celebratory sex?" Kurt suggests. "That, and some new shoes, might go some way toward expressing your gratitude."

Laughing loudly, Blaine cups his face, leaning up to place a lingering kiss to his lips. "I believe the phrase I'm looking for is 'anything for you.'"

 

*

It is three weeks later and Blaine is once again alerted to Kurt's homecoming by the loud slamming of the front door followed by a string of muttered expletives as he moves room to room before eventually finding Blaine at the piano.

"Could you not have told me you were in here?" he huffs by way of greeting. "Instead of sitting there listening to me search the entire apartment?"

"It's not a big place," Blaine says reasonably. "And I am always in here- every afternoon."

"You were out running yesterday," Kurt snaps as he spins on his heel and heads to the kitchen. 

"I take it you didn't get it," Blaine says as he follows him down the hall.

"No I didn't get it," Kurt bites as he pulls open the fridge. "And that's the fifth one in as many days." Taking a dish of leftover chicken from the fridge he sits at the table and begins to eat, mindlessly chewing the meat as he fumes.

"You don't like cold chicken," Blaine points out. 

"I know."

"So do you have any more lined up?" Blaine rummages in the freezer, replacing the chicken with ice cream before tentatively pulling out a chair next to him and sitting down. 

"I have three next week," Kurt says, somewhat calmer now. "Nine to five, Hello Dolly and Bar Mitzvah Boy."

"What on earth is that?"

"I have no idea," Kurt says wearily. "And I think they might guess that I'm not Jewish."

"Well.... Nine to five could be fun."

"Yeah... I guess." He sighs and rests his chin on the table, blinking hard to get rid of the tears he can feel stinging behind his eyes. "I'm never gonna do it, am I?" he whispers. "These are just chorus roles I'm going for, and I just keep getting turned away. I sang two bars today, that's all, and then they yell 'next' over the top of me and dismiss me with a wave of their hand. Not even a thank you." 

"Oh my gorgeous boy," Blaine says as he encourages him into his lap. "You'll do it. But you have to remember hundreds of others are trying to do it too."

"I know but..."

"But it doesn't make it any easier. I get it. You know..."

"Don't tell me I don't have to work, Blaine, don't," Kurt says, going stiff in his embrace. "I may not have to but it doesn't mean I don't want to."

"I wasn't going to say that," Blaine says calmly. "You're well aware of the situation. I was going to suggest you could take Joe up on his offer. A summer of making costumes on a film set....that's an amazing experience."

"If you want to do that kind of thing, yeah. But I don't. Besides, I've already told Joe I'm doing a show this summer. I can't go back to him, cap in hand and admit it didn't work out." 

"Okay...well..." Blaine pauses, at a loss for what to say or do. "I think you need to try and remember that this is only just the beginning. It's always hard. How many times do we read about an actor's struggle to reach the top? But you'll get there, and you still have another year in college."

"Rachel got Fanny."

"I know she did," Blaine smirks, trying not to laugh out loud. "But Rachel is.... Rachel."

"Rachel is gonna be a huge broadway star," Kurt moans.

"You don't know that, the show hasn't even opened yet. Come on. It's the weekend now. Let's just...be. We can stay home, watch movies and be completely lazy, or we can go out...whatever you want."

"I want to curl up on the couch with you and have you kiss me until I feel better," Kurt says against his chest.

"I can do that. And hey, I know something that will cheer you up."

"Oh?"

"In one year, three weeks and one day, it will be our wedding day."

Kurt's grin comes bright and wide as he attempts to kiss Blaine but it's more a clashing of teeth which causes them both to laugh. "Yeah...that cheers me up," he says as he gives into the giggles rising in his throat. "What are the chances of getting a string quartet to play?"

They spend the weekend immersed in one another, though on Sunday afternoon Blaine does take the time to go through Kurt's audition pieces with him- having a fiancé who can accompany you on the piano as you practice your songs comes in handy, Kurt realizes, and he goes into his audition on Monday feeling a lot more confident. But it's the same rejection story that day, and the next, and the one after that and Kurt becomes despondent yet angry, snapping at Blaine over every little thing- culminating in him having stormed from the apartment that morning accusing Blaine of wanting him to fail. Blaine arrives home from rehearsal that afternoon, expecting Kurt to be in college but he finds him curled up in bed, crying quietly. He takes him in his arms wordlessly, rubbing his hands over his back and soothing as best he can until Kurt falls into a fitful sleep for a few hours. 

When he emerges he walks bleary eyed into the kitchen where Blaine stands at the counter preparing dinner. He turns and takes Kurt in his arms once more, who sighs and rests his head onto Blaine's shoulder. "I'm an asshole to you," he murmurs into his neck.

"No you're not," Blaine reassures. "If you were treating me badly I'd say something. But you're understandably frustrated and upset. We all take our feelings out on those closest to us."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I was hurt that you left this morning without saying goodbye though, please try not to do that again."

"I know you want me to succeed," he admits quietly. 

"I do....which is why I called Santana," Blaine says, guiding Kurt to sit at the table.

"You called her to talk about me?"

"Hear me out," Blaine says quickly before Kurt's rising anger can prevail. "There's an open casting call for an off Broadway production of Carousel taking place on Friday. She's going, and I think you should too." 

"No way. No." Kurt is on his feet in second, shaking his head emphatically as he begins to pace. "A whole summer in New York? No. And I don't even want to do Carousel, anyway."

"But it's an open call, Kurt. That means you stand the chance of getting a speaking role. And think about it....you could live with the girls for a couple of months, you'd be there when the Symphony are in town...and as soon as your run is over we could fly down to Virginia Beach."

"How long is the run?"

"Four weeks."

"No. I'm not going to do it."

"Well that's tough shit because I booked you a flight," Blaine snaps. "You leave here tomorrow at four and fly back Friday after the audition. Santana will meet you at the airport." 

"You....what?" Kurt asks, voice dangerously low as he advances toward Blaine.

"You heard," Blaine replies nonchalantly as he scrapes his chair back from the table. "You have just apologized- very sincerely, I believe- for being an asshole to me. I reassured you that I understood, and I do. I am trying to help you here, Kurt. You will go to that audition the same way as I went to mine. I keep you in my heart too, you know. Now just show a bit of trust in me, please." 

Kurt stands, mouth hanging open as Blaine moves around him, preparing the risotto. Eventually he huffs loudly and dramatically and flounces into the bedroom, but ten minutes later a small suitcase stands neatly packed, waiting in the hallway.

*

"I got it."

"Could you be any more thrilled?" Blaine sighs down the phone.

"No I am pleased I guess I just... Santana got Carrie Pipperidge."

"Who's that?"

"A supporting actress role. Lots of lines and a solo number."

"And you?"

"Just chorus. A handful of lines in the final scene."

"But that's good, right?" Blaine urges. "You got the audition."

"Yeah." 

"Oh darling... Come home to me so I can hold you tight."

"I will. The cab's nearly at the airport, I'll see you in a few hours." 

He brightens up once he sees Blaine again, smiling bashfully into the flowers he is presented with and talking a lot more excitedly about the production.

"So it's actually only a three week run, with a week of intense rehearsals prior," he prattles as they make their way out to the car. "Which works better for me because it means I don't have to be away from you any more than necessary. And, the best thing of all is that my last night is the night before yours, so you can come to my matinee on the Saturday, then I can come watch you on the Sunday."

"That works well," Blaine smiles, happy to hear Kurt sounding animated about something again. "Maybe we could hire a car and drive down to Virginia Beach right from there?" Blaine wonders aloud as he pulls out into the traffic. "Get a couple of extra days in before Wes and Kathy arrive." 

"Perfect," Kurt grins, settling back in his seat.

They cuddle close in bed that night, talking about the summer and all the opportunities it will bring. Kurt admits to being excited, and Blaine agrees, pointing out that it's okay to miss one another yet want to experience new things at the same time.

"So it's my turn to thank you," Kurt says as he curls onto his side to face Blaine, tucking his hands under his chin. "For having faith in me, putting up with my mood and giving me the push that I needed."

"Anytime," Blaine smiles sweetly. "Truth be told I thought you were going to either punch me or kick me out when I told you I'd booked your flight," he says. "That's why I tried to play it cool."

"I'd never punch you!" Kurt cries, horrified.

"But you'd kick me out?" Blaine teases.

"No!"

"Good," Blaine laughs. "And anyway. That wasn't a push. This is a push," he says as he gives Kurt a shove and he topples out of the bed, dragging the comforter down with him.

"Blaine Anderson, you pushed me out of bed!" Kurt screams, laughing loudly when Blaine's face hangs over the edge. "Get me up."

"I'll let you back in if you can answer this question. No thinking, just give me the first answer that comes into your head. What's our surname going to be once we're married?"

"Anderson-Hummel," Kurt grins, then his eyes go wide and he's thumping his own forehead in frustration. "No!"

"Nope!" Blaine laughs, reaching down to tickle at his stomach. "And it was you who chose it too! Ah well." He falls down on top of him, pulling the comforter over them both. "I guess we'll just have to make love on the floor."


	25. Chapter 25

"I just can't deal with her anymore!" Kurt screams down the phone. "I just cannot deal!"

Kurt is halfway through his stint in New York while Blaine is one week into his tour of the East Coast which now finds him in Philadelphia for the next forty eight hours. But while Blaine is enjoying himself immensely- making new friends, exploring new places and getting to play with the orchestra night after night- Kurt is not doing quite so well. 

"She's insufferable," he rants, knowing full well that Santana- the 'she' in question- can hear him and not caring one bit. "She walked in on me in the shower yesterday to use the toilet. I mean... I fucking live with you and sleep with you and you don't even do that! She was just...sitting there, like there was nothing out of the ordinary about it. And now today, the first day we don't have to be in early for rehearsals and she wakes me up at eight because she wants to go do laundry. Why can't she go do it herself? Why do I need to go with her?" 

"Put her on," Blaine says calmly. "Let me speak with her while you....I don't know....go take a shower maybe."

"I miss you," Kurt says, his voice going small again as he holds the phone tight.

"I know my darling, I know. And I miss you too."

"But you're having fun," Kurt moans. "I'm just miserable."

"Hang in there, Kurt. It's only two more weeks. You can do this. Now put Santana on and I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," he says begrudgingly as he walks over to the couch and throws the phone into Santana's lap. "He wants to talk with you."

"What?" Santana snaps as she picks up the phone.

"Stop antagonizing him."

"Why? I'm bored. I've got to get my kicks somewhere."

"Santana, I love you dearly but if you keep upsetting my fiancé you will make an enemy of me. It's not fair to wind someone up just for your own amusement. You're making him miserable," Blaine says exasperatedly.

"This summer fucking sucks ass," Santana flares. "I've had enough. Berry is swanning around like she's some kind of god- she's completely insufferable- and meanwhile Kurt and I are busting our asses for jack shit."

"I get it."

"No Blaine, you don't. The city is stifling, the humidity is insane. Berry sits in her air conditioned private dressing room every day while just around the corner, Kurt and I are rammed in with eleven other cast members in a sweaty stinking heap. And for what? The audience figures are crap, the production is shit and we're just turning up and going through the motions day after day, getting screamed at by a short German who hasn't the first clue about directing. Rogers and Hammerstein must be rolling in their mass grave."

"Um I don't think they're in a..." Blaine starts before shaking his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter. Look, you and Kurt both wanted experience, you wanted a professional gig. You got it. And yes, it's hard...in fact it really sucks. But it's not worth throwing friendships away because you're all getting on top of each other. You and Kurt need to spend some time apart. Take yourself shopping or something and just let him cool off for a while."

"I can't go shopping, can I? Because I haven't got any fucking money. We don't get paid until the run ends."

"Give me an hour. But don't tell Kurt."

"What? What does that even mean? You're as cryptic as one of your curls...." She trails off, huffing in frustration when she realizes the line has gone dead. 

Santana slides the loft door open an hour later, rolling her eyes when she sees Blaine standing the other side. "So that's what you meant," she says as she falls back onto the couch.

"Take yourself shopping," he says, holding a wad of twenties out to her. 

"I will," she says, taking the money and tucking it into her bra, but she surprises Blaine by standing again and hugging him tight. "Thank you." 

"Anytime."

"He's not here, by the way," she says offhandedly as Blaine looks around.

"What? Where is he then?" Blaine cries.

"I don't know. He just got dressed and walked out about a half hour ago."

"Why didn't you stop him?"

"Because I didn't know you were coming here, did I?" she rages. "Be more explicit next time. I know you can manage it."

"Ugh," he says frustratedly as he sits on the couch. "I'll call him then. So....now that you have some cash, do you think you could make yourself scarce?"

"Sure," she nods. "But just to warn you, Berry is home all day. She's still asleep."

"Could you take her with you?" he asks, ignoring the way she arches one eyebrow at him. "It might do you good to spend some time together doing something other than arguing about the pros or cons of your respective jobs." 

"I don't know...." she says airily as she thumbs through the money. "There's not really enough money here for two..."

"Fine," he sighs heavily as he opens up his wallet. "There. Now go wake the dragon."

"Is that a euphemism?"

"No!" They both laugh at this as Santana kisses his cheek once more before walking to Rachel's room and Blaine takes his phone from his pocket and waits for Kurt to answer.

"Hey." Kurt's voice is despondent as he trails along the street, eyes downcast.

"Hey. So....where are you?"

"I don't even know," Kurt says as he looks up at the buildings surrounding him. "I just started walking."

"Well I sure hope you can find your way back," Blaine says, biting his lip as a grin forms on his face. "Because I'm standing in Rachel and Santana's apartment waiting for you."

"WHAT?!" Kurt yells, startling the passers by. "Are you kidding me?"

"Why don't you come back and find out?" 

He laughs as the phone goes dead, and twenty minutes later a breathless and panting Kurt bursts through the door, hurling himself into Blaine's arms as he picks him up and twirls him around. 

"Oh my god!" Kurt laughs happily before finding Blaine's lips and stealing them in a deep kiss. He breaks away to allow Blaine access to his throat, letting his head fall backward as he moans at the feeling of his teeth scraping along his jawline.

"You haven't shaved," Blaine murmurs. "Oh fuck.... that is so hot. I don't think I've ever felt stubble on you before. Not like this, anyway," he says, nosing in under his jaw to kiss the sensitive skin. His hand comes up on the other side, dragging his fingers along the scratchy beard Kurt has, the hair coarse and rasping to touch.

"That's two weeks of....oh! Growth," Kurt gasps when Blaine bites just above his collar bone. "I worked hard on that," he smiles when he feels Blaine's laugh reverberating against his skin. "Where are the girls?" he manages to squeak out, his body starting to tremble when Blaine backs them against the shelving unit. He hears a few books topple to the floor but can't bring himself to care once Blaine's hand is under his shirt and tracing across his abdomen.

"I threw cash at the problem," Blaine says, his voice hot and heavy in Kurt's ear as he grinds his hips against him. "They're out all day. I have to leave by four."

"It's not even ten yet," Kurt says, his voice now little more than a desperate whimper when Blaine slides his hands easily down the back of his shorts, squeezing his ass through his briefs. 

"I know." 

He claims his mouth again then, taking his hand from the shorts, grabbing Kurt's wrists and pinning them above his head. A filthy sound comes from Kurt, one leg coming up to hook around Blaine's waist and drag him closer, needing more, but Blaine is kissing him deep and rough, tongue delving in to taste again and again. 

"Oh god," Kurt moans as he breaks the kiss and his head thumps hard against the shelf. "Just take me, please. Please just...ugh...give it to me."

"Naughty boy," Blaine says darkly as he tugs Kurt's earlobe between his teeth. 

"Bedroom, now," Kurt demands, then yelps when Blaine lifts him, crashing their lips together as they stumble across the room. 

"Just in case," Blaine smiles as he pulls the curtain across the space Kurt is calling a bedroom before pinning him to the wall. 

And suddenly his hands are everywhere, tugging at buttons and zippers, his mouth sucking and biting at every new bit of Kurt’s flesh as it becomes exposed. He quickly lifts his own shirt over his head, buttons still fastened, and shucks out of his shorts and underwear. Pushing Kurt hard into the wall, he presses his body against his and moans deeply. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed this.” he whispers as scrapes his teeth across Kurt’s throat. “Every second of everyday I have been imagining being naked with you again. Kissing you, licking you, fucking you...”

Kurt ducks out from under Blaine's grip and kisses his way down his body. As soon as he’s low enough Blaine's fingers tangle into his hair, tugging and pulling, wild with desperation, moaning as Kurt sucks a dark hickey onto his hip bone before sinking his mouth down around his achingly hard cock. 

“Holy fuck!” Blaine cries. He tries hard to stay still, but then Kurt's hands are on his ass, urging him forward, deeper into his warm mouth. “Kurt...just...Kurt!” he shouts, unable to say anything else as Kurt swirls his tongue around the head of his cock. 

"Oh Christ...Kurt, get up here, get up." 

Pulling off, Kurt grins up at him, allowing Blaine to haul him to his feet and push him roughly into the wall once more. One hand moves to his chest, rubbing his thumb teasingly over one nipple as he shoves two fingers of his other hand into the warm heat of Kurt's mouth. 

"Fantasy," Kurt gasps as Blaine pulls his fingers out and moves them to Kurt's ass. "This is my fantasy."

"I know," Blaine grins wickedly before pressing one finger at his entrance. "And I'm gonna fuck you so hard."

Blaine kisses him roughly, and Kurt sucks on his tongue hungrily, desperate with desire and a need for more. More friction, more touching, more of absolutely everything Blaine can give as he  
hooks Kurt’s leg around his waist and pushes his wet fingers inside his tight hole. Kurt hisses at the intrusion at first, but soon forgets about the pain and enjoys the burn and slow drag of Blaine’s fingers working him open. His mouth works hard on Blaine’s neck and shoulder, worrying the flesh between his teeth before running his tongue over the marks he’s created. Throwing his head back, Blaine pushes Kurt harder against the wall, covering his body and moaning wantonly as their cocks align and the friction begins to build. 

“Just take me, Blaine," Kurt says, his voice a strangulated moan when he feels Blaine's cock pushing insistently at his hip.

“Desperation,” Blaine growls, "I like it," and licking his palm he quickly strokes himself, having absolutely no intention of moving to get lube as he brings the tip of his cock to Kurt’s entrance. Slowly, he pushes inside. It seems to be tighter than Blaine ever remembers as Kurt clenches hard around him, inhaling sharply at the sparks of pain and arousal shooting through his body until Blaine stills, resting his head onto Kurt's shoulder, cock buried deep inside.

“Fuck,” they both murmur together, and Kurt takes Blaine’s face in his hands and kisses him tenderly. 

“Love you,” Blaine whispers with a grin, "I love you so much." 

“Love you too.” Kurt whispers in return, whimpering softly when Blaine makes a minuscule movement. "My fantasy man."

“That's me,” he whispers proudly. One hand splayed on the wall behind him, the other around Kurt's waist, Blaine pulls nearly all the way out then thrusts back into Kurt hard, then harder still- spurred on by the shouts and gasps coming from the wrecked young man trapped helplessly against the wall. His thrusts are deep and long, the drag from the lack of lubricant making Kurt feel like he's being torn in two but it's absolutely what he wants and needs as he brings his other leg up around Blaine's waist and gives a shout of his name. 

"Fucking hell," Blaine gasps, pushing Kurt harder into the wall as he attempts to hold him in place. His thrusts become shallower with the change of angle, the pace desperate and frantic. Kurt grips tightly around Blaine's neck, panting in time with Blaine's rhythm, his cock needing no hand as it becomes trapped deliciously between their two bodies. 

"I'm..yeah...I'm... Oh, Blaine!" Kurt cries as he comes hard, body incapable of stopping shuddering and convulsing. His eyes roll back in his head with the sheer force of it and he feels a large amount of wetness seeping between them. Working his hand into a tiny crack of space between their stomachs, Kurt swipes at his come, driving his fingers into Blaine's mouth who sucks hard as he comes over and over into the heat of Kurt's still clenching ass. 

He somehow manages not to drop Kurt right away, despite his legs and arms shaking almost uncontrollably as he very carefully lets Kurt's feet find the floor then pulls him toward the bed where they both collapse on top of it, panting and staring at the ceiling. 

"Holy shit," Kurt says quietly.

"Yeah, pretty much," Blaine grins, rolling onto his side to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I can't believe that just happened."

"You started it," Kurt points out. 

"Actually, you kissed me first," Blaine smiles. "Where are your tissues?"

"On the floor somewhere," Kurt murmurs sleepily. "I may or may not have been thinking of you last night." 

"Same," Blaine grunts, his head hanging over the side of the bed where he locates the Kleenex. "But believe it or not, I didn't actually come here for that. It's just....this," he says, running a hand along Kurt's scratchy jaw. "It did something for me."

"Well it's not staying," Kurt grouches. "This is supposed to be my 'rough fairground worker' look, but it just looks like a kid who's trying too hard."

"It looks hot," Blaine tells him honestly, smiling when he notes the tops of Kurt's ears turning pink with pleasure. "But I don't want it to stay all the time. Just...special occasions."

"Well give me two weeks notice and I'll comply," he laughs. 

Blaine finishes cleaning Kurt and then snuggles in tight against him, the air too hot and sticky to require covers. Kurt runs an idle hand across Blaine's shoulders, the rhythm lulling them both almost to sleep before Kurt suddenly sits upright. 

"Wait a minute. How did you manage to get here in an hour?"

"I didn't," Blaine says, folding his arms behind his head as he smiles up at him. "I decided last night that since we have the day free today I would come visit you. So I hired a car and set off right after breakfast. I couldn't be so near to you and not see you." 

"Oh," Kurt says, his jaw snapping shut in surprise before he buries himself into Blaine's neck. "That's all kinds of wonderful."

"I'm sorry you're finding this so tough," Blaine says as he plays absentmindedly with Kurt's hair.

"Hmm. It's....well actually, now you're here it suddenly doesn't seem so bad," he says, lifting his head briefly to kiss at his lips. "You came."

"I sure did," Blaine says as they both laugh.

"I guess it's just not what I thought it would be," Kurt sighs. "It's really tough, and there's so much tension between the three of us all the time."

"Santana says the production isn't that great."

"It's not. It's terrible, to be exact. And when you come see it, it's more than okay if that's your opinion too."

"Why is it so bad?" Blaine asks. "I mean, I get the director must have something to do with it but..."

"It's a whole multitude of things. But Friedrich, the director is mostly to blame. I hesitate to call him a fascist because of the nazi connotations- and he is a German- but....yeah, he's a fascist pig. And when you work for someone like that, who just runs you down day after day, and won't listen to any of your suggestions or be prepared for any kind of give and take at all...eventually you stop trying. Add to this the fact that we're all just college kids trying to gain experience, the dressing rooms are cramped and dirty, the heat is just stifling....and it's all too much. Santana and I are together day in, day out from waking to sleeping and everything in between, and then Rachel comes swanning home, arms full of flowers, driver dropping her off and escorting her to the door and it just....ugh. It's just really, really tough. Not as I thought it would be at all." 

"Oh gorgeous boy," Blaine sighs, kissing into his hair and tightening his arm around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I sent you for the audition."

"Don't be silly Blaine," Kurt says firmly, rolling onto his front to place his chin on Blaine's chest. "I wanted to do a production one way or another. This is not your doing at all. But I meant what I said. Suddenly it's like none of that even matters, because you came."

"I might not be able to come again though," he warns, "not like this, anyhow. I'll still be here in two weeks though. That's all. Two more weeks."

"Two weeks," Kurt repeats, suddenly feeling much brighter. "Then it's vacation."

"I have something to tell you about that," Blaine says, biting his lip as he tries to stop the grin forming. "But you cannot tell anyone," he says, "especially not Rachel."

"Okay," Kurt says, eager to hear the news.

"Wes is going to ask Kathy to marry him."

"Ahhh!" Kurt cries happily, sitting up and clapping his hands. "Oh my god! Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! Oh!" 

"Slightly concerned that you're more excited for this than you were for your own proposal," Blaine says dryly. 

"Be quiet!" Kurt laughs as he smacks lightly on his bare stomach. "Oh! Oh Blaine! How wonderful!" he laughs, giddy with happiness. "Oh, ooh. Tears," he says, fanning at his face. "Aw, Wes."

"Yeah I know," Blaine grins, leaning back against the pillows. 

"Wait a minute," Kurt says, eyes going suddenly small. "They're getting married after us, right?"

"Yes," Blaine laughs loudly. "Because Wes said- and I quote- that 'Kurt will freak otherwise.'"

"Oh please," Kurt scoffs, "I would not freak."

"You would freak."

"Yeah...yeah, I would freak," Kurt agrees, flushing self deprecatingly as he laughs. "But oh! We can have a fabulously lavish gay wedding in the California sunshine and then Wes and Kathy can get married in a quaint little church in Ohio."

"Actually they'll probably get married in England," Blaine muses. "Since all her family are there."

"Oh my word, they might have Alice as bridesmaid!" Kurt squeals, "I wonder if Kathy would let me make the attendants outfits?"

"Well she has to say yes to Wes first," Blaine points out. "But I know who the best man is gonna be."

"Oh I wonder who that could be?" Kurt teases, moving to drape his body over Blaine's, arms resting lightly on his shoulders. "You'll be my husband by then," he grins. "Oh, you like that idea, do you?" he asks, eyes going wide as he feels Blaine's cock twitching.

"You're naked, pressed on top of me and talking about us being married. Yes I like it," Blaine grins. "But I'm not ready yet. Later, I promise."

"Okay. Wanna take a shower?"

"Not really."

"What? We're all sex sticky."

"I know, and I like it," Blaine says. "No one is home, why can't we just stay like this for a bit? I like the smell of you on my skin."

"My fiancé wants to stay caked in dried come because he likes the smell of me," Kurt says as he settles down into Blaine's embrace once more. "That should not be nearly as pleasing as it actually is."

They drift off to sleep for an hour before waking content in one another's arms, with soft smiles on their faces as they lie on their sides facing each other. They reconnect as only Kurt and Blaine know how. Silently, with the occasional lazy kiss shared but mostly just looking into one another's eyes and smiling, lots and lots of smiling. The kissing becomes more often, more insistent, building until they're making love slowly and sweetly, Blaine draped over Kurt's back, his body barely lifted from the mattress as they bring themselves to quiet orgasm. Blaine slides them over to a clean part of the bed, still buried deep inside Kurt as they spoon together, content to let time wash over them for a while until Kurt reluctantly moves, dragging Blaine along for a lazy shower before they move to the kitchen to eat. 

Tears are shed when they part, but time in his fiancés embrace leaves Kurt with a renewed sense of vigour, and time spending Blaine's cash makes Rachel and Santana much better people to be around- the result being that they all manage to enjoy being together once again, and the rest of Kurt's run flies by until, with only three shows left to go, Blaine arrives back in town. 

Kurt's eyes go wide when he arrives at the Four Seasons to join Blaine in his room, smiling indulgently when Blaine refuses to move near to the window to admire the view, stating that he can see perfectly well from leaning against the comforting, solid wall on the other side of the room. They're sitting in the deep soaking tub before long, Blaine settling back happily against Kurt's chest as he scoops water and trails it over his shoulders. 

"So...I hate to ask this," Kurt says, leaning down to kiss into Blaine's damp curls. "But I feel like I need to be prepared. When are we next due to be parted?" 

"Hmm, well...we're not, I don't think," Blaine says, scrunching his nose in thought as he takes Kurt's hands, kissing his fingertips. "We have vacation for a week, then home for three days, then LA.... Then it's back to college for you, young man," he says with a tap to his knee. "Final year."

"But when do the Symphony tour next?"

"Ah. Well."

"I'm not gonna like this," Kurt says, going tense under him.

"Hear me out," Blaine says patiently. "There is a tour over New Years.... Wait...." he says as he's pushed unceremoniously from Kurt's chest, who looks ready to explode. "It's in Austria....and I wondered if you'd like to join me?"

"Oh. Well that's better than I thought," Kurt says, feeling oddly deflated after gearing up for an argument. "Yes. I would. Thank you."

"Good boy," Blaine jokes, shifting to the other side of the tub, grinning wickedly as his toes start to rub up the inside of Kurt's thigh. "You know, we could go skiing."

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that and focus on what your foot is doing instead," Kurt says, cocking his head to one side and smiling sweetly. 

Blaine laughs darkly, his eyes becoming heavy as he leans back against the tub and breathes deeply. "Feels good," he murmurs as his foot keeps stroking over Kurt's thigh. "To be able to relax with you like this."

"Nice," Kurt agrees. "It's been quite a crazy summer. I'm not looking forward to having to get out this tub and go to work though."

"Only three more left, and I'll be at the matinee tomorrow."

"I know, but I like this hotel. I was made for this lifestyle."

"You totally were," Blaine says, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly as Kurt rubs his feet under the water. 

"I feel like I'm in Pretty Woman," Kurt says as Blaine smiles.

"You should be singing Prince."

"I just want your extra time and your....KISS!" Kurt sings loudly and purposely off key as Blaine laughs, sitting upright and looking at him.

"I think I better dance now," he sings back, and Kurt squeals as he dives under the water, emerging with his face covered in bubbles which he grins through, resting his head on Kurt's chest. "Kiss me then," he splutters.

"You must be joking," Kurt laughs, reaching for the washcloth and wiping his face. "Now I will though." 

"We always violate the bath water," Blaine murmurs, his lips inches from Kurt's.

"It's just kissing."

"It won't be for long."


	26. Chapter 26

"Was it bad?" Kurt asks as soon as he emerges from the stage door.

Blaine laughs, kissing his cheek and taking his hand. "Kurt, this is Eliza and Ken- we play in the orchestra together. Eliza, Ken, this is my fiancé, Kurt."

"Nice to meet you," a small woman says politely, holding out her hand for Kurt to shake. "Blaine keeps telling us so much about you."

"Oh, um...thank you. Nice to meet you too," he stammers, shaking each of their hands. They are older, Kurt reckons at mid forties, and he notices a wedding ring on Ken's hand but not on Eliza's. "Are you two um...." he trails off at the subtle shake of Blaine's head, blushing furiously and feeling suddenly very, very young.

"Oh goodness no!" Eliza laughs. "I'm not married. No, we were both just at a loose end this afternoon and Blaine asked if we'd like to come see the show. I really quite enjoyed it," she smiles, and Kurt notices for the first time how positively....rich she seems. Still, a single woman on a wage that high can afford to look after herself he guesses, realizing suddenly that Blaine now moves in quite an elite social circle.

"The three of us have done quite a lot of sightseeing together over the last three weeks," Ken interjects leaving Kurt no room to thank Eliza for her comment which makes him blush again. "Usually with Abby and Richard."

"I don't think I've met them," Kurt says quietly as he grips Blaine's hand tightly.

"They were at breakfast," Ken says.

"We uh...we didn't make breakfast," Kurt says, wondering when this flush of embarrassment will ever die down and let his cheeks return to a normal color. 

"Ah well, maybe tomorrow night then," Eliza says sweetly. "There's a cocktail reception after the concert."

"Oh. Oh right." Kurt looks to Blaine with wide eyes, wondering why he's failed to mention it thus far. 

"And I hear you'll be traveling with us over New Years?" Ken asks, taking his shy nod for confirmation. "Excellent. You can meet my wife then. It'll be fun."

"Hey gay face and child bride," Santana says as she suddenly arrives on the scene, kissing Blaine's cheek. "What did you think then?"

"It was..." Blaine starts.

"It was shit, you can say it," she tells him, leaning across Blaine to offer her hand to Eliza and Ken. "Hello. I'm Santana, Kurt and Blaine's lesbian lover." 

Kurt looks to Blaine in a panic, but rather than look horrified he looks amused, as if she's harmless. "She'd like to think she was," he says with a laugh. 

"You were wonderful," Ken says enthusiastically, "so watchable."

"I know," Santana preens, but she doesn't forget Kurt, putting an arm around his waist and drawing him into the conversation. "And this one," she smiles. "Quite the scene stealer."

"Completely," Eliza agrees.

"Quite the heart stealer," Blaine says, eyes firmly fixed on Kurt and a look of complete adoration on his face. "You have time for a coffee before your next call?"

"Yes," Kurt says, voice barely above a whisper, wanting desperately to ask if it could be just the two of them, but not wanting to make Blaine feel awkward.

"Cool." He grins, turning back to Eliza and Ken. "I'm going to spend some time with Kurt," he says politely and much to Kurt's relief. "I'll see you at the concert hall."

"Can I come?" Santana asks, but Blaine quietens her with a swift "No."

"Hey! I was kind!" 

"I know you were," Blaine says sincerely. "But I just really want to spend an hour alone with Kurt before our schedules pull us apart again," he explains. "I'll catch up with you later."

They all say their goodbyes, with Blaine taking Kurt's arm and linking it through his own as he escorts him toward the nearest coffee shop. "Is this okay?" he asks as they stop outside. "You'll probably think me a fool when I tell you I still don't feel very comfortable in the city."

"I don't think you a fool at all," Kurt says, draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders and resting their foreheads together. "I still think you're incredibly brave, and I love you endlessly." 

Kurt kisses his lips softly, humming into it as his eyes flutter close and he feels himself starting to relax. They go inside hand in hand, ordering their drinks and settling in a booth in the far corner, Blaine sliding in right alongside Kurt, rather than opposite, which makes Kurt smile and feel like a giddy teenager once more.

"So....you okay?" Blaine asks, noting the way in which Kurt plays with the sugar packets.

"Yeah," he starts as he feels his internal panic flaring once again. "I just....people. I uh... I didn't know you were bringing people." He feels silly all of a sudden- nervous- almost reminiscent of the first time they ever got coffee together. 

"Oh. Well...I just thought it would be nice, that's all. They were okay, weren't they? We've been getting along quite well while we've been on tour and I just wanted them to see you do your thing...because I'm really proud of you."

"Yeah, no, no, they were nice," Kurt rambles. "I just... Yeah. I guess I'm just a little ashamed of the show, and I'm only chorus..."

"But you are very, very watchable, Kurt," Blaine says sincerely. "And I'm not just saying that because you're mine, or because I want to make you smile. I mean it. In all honesty, no, it's not the best musical I've ever seen. But you are mesmerising. Santana was right, you steal every scene- and not in a bad, trying to hog the limelight way. It's much more subtle than that. It's the turn of your head, the intensity of your gaze. It's knowing that your dance steps are timed to perfection whereas the others are slightly behind. And you never lose focus, not for one second. I don't know how many times you've had to sit on that stage and listen to those actors saying those lines and yet you looked like it was all fresh, as if you were watching this unfold for the very first time. That's the mark of a skilled actor- unlike that boy with the blue hair who kept looking for someone in the audience. And what kind of director lets a member of his cast have bright blue hair for a play set in the eighteen hundreds anyway?"

They both laugh at this but Kurt stops first, going quiet once more as Blaine covers his hand with his. "So what else?"

"Huh?" Kurt looks up, almost dazed. "No, no...nothing else. It's fine."

"It's not fine, because you're arranging those sugar packets into symmetrical patterns as if your life depended on it. Now what gives?"

Kurt sighs, his face showing a flash of annoyance when Blaine pushes the packets to one side and takes both his hands, swiveling on the bench so they're facing one another. "It's... I didn't know. About the cocktail party, I mean. You didn't say anything."

"I just forgot," Blaine says kindly. "I only got into town yesterday and we were kinda busy...." He trails off, a small smile on his face. "I'm sorry. Yes, there's a cocktail reception tomorrow night after the recital. Will you come?"

"I...I...I don't think I will, if it's all the same to you," Kurt says, looking down at his knees and not noticing the way in which Blaine's face falls. "I'm not even old enough to drink, for a start."

"Well that's not stopped you for the past three years," Blaine says, "Besides, it's a cocktail reception, not a huge raucous party. You don't have to get wasted....in fact it would probably be quite frowned upon if you did."

"I don't have anything to wear."

"So go shopping tomorrow. Get whatever you want."

"You'll be busy with your orchestra friends and I'll just be sidelined."

"And that's what this is about," Blaine says, his impatience beginning to show. "Look, Kurt, I didn't say anything because I was too busy enjoying the fact that we were finally back together again. In case you hadn't noticed, I was rather pleased to have you back in my arms, and I prefer to spend my time reconnecting with you than prattling on about some cocktail reception. I want you to come because I want everyone to meet you. I'm so ridiculously proud to be seen with you, you have no idea. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, but we're staying in the same hotel as all these people, and we will be again over New Year. You can't avoid them forever."

"Do they know I'm only twenty?"

"No, but why do they need to? You don't hear people introducing themselves and tagging their age on the end, do you? 'Hi I'm Roy and I'm fifty seven.' People will know there's a difference between us- they've got eyes- and if they ask outright I'll say. I'm not ashamed. But it's not something I advertise because I just don't feel the need." 

"I don't know what I'll talk about," he says quietly. "I wouldn't want to let you down."

"Kurt, you couldn't...would never. No. It was you who told me you were made for this lifestyle. Please come, my gorgeous boy, please. I promise to keep right by your side and help ease you into conversations."

"I don't know."

"Okay," Blaine says, feeling deflated and sad as he pushes his untouched coffee across the table. "I can't make you," he says with a tight nod. "I'm sorry you feel that way... But I do have to go, you realize that, right? I can't be a no show."

"That's fine. I'll just...go hang out with Santana or something."

"Fine." Blaine nods again, letting go of Kurt's hands and angling away from him, making Kurt's heart lurch with sadness. 

"There's uh...there's an after show party tonight," he says quietly. "I'm not going though, so I'll be back to the hotel just after you."

"Why aren't you going? I could come?" Blaine offers hopefully. 

"Oh you wouldn't want to," Kurt says hastily. "It's not a glamorous affair like you're used to. It's more a keg and pizza at someone's house out in Brooklyn. And I know you don't like to travel across the city so..."

"I'd do it though, if you wanted me to be there. I'd do anything to support you."

"No it's fine, really. It's not my scene at all. Santana is going out for dinner with Rachel and some of her cast mates anyway, and I'd much rather come home to you."

"If you're sure," Blaine says with a shrug. "But I'll go to Brooklyn if you want me to."

"No really, it's fine." Kurt is firm, and Blaine looks for signs that he's hiding his true feelings but finds none. "I'd better get back," Kurt tells him with a sigh.

"Okay."

They walk from the coffee shop together, but Blaine keeps his hands stuffed deep in his pockets as they walk back to the stage door. "Have a good show," he says quietly. "It's your last one so just enjoy it."

"Thanks. You too. Concert, I mean. Have a good concert."

"Yeah." Blaine pauses, the atmosphere between them tense and awkward and he finds himself wishing he knew how to break it. "You uh...will you still come to watch, tomorrow?"

"Of course!" a startled Kurt answers. "Rachel's off- she doesn't do Sundays, and Finn is in town so all four of us will be there."

"Okay. Well....I'll see you later. If you change your mind about the houseparty just text me the address and I'll meet you there." Giving Kurt a brief kiss on the cheek, he smiles tightly once more and is gone. He's two blocks down when it happens. His heart has been pounding since he left Kurt, and the noise of the city seems to ring in his ears as he walks. He tries to block it out and focus on his breathing, but the more he does that the more everything seems to swim right before his eyes. He leans heavily against a wall, becoming more and more paranoid about the stares from passers by who in reality couldn't care less as he starts to shake and cold sweat beads on his brow. He knows he has to move- and quickly- before he throws up right there, but as soon as he pushes off from the wall his legs give out.

Strong arms catch him as he falls, holding him tight as the person loops Blaine's arm over their shoulders and pulls him toward a small side street. "It's okay," the voice comes. "It's okay. I've got you. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Kurt?" Blaine's own voice sounds different in his ears, high pitched and wavering, filled with tears and fright. "I think I'm..." He vomits hard onto the sidewalk, clutching onto a railing as he retches over and over until his stomach is empty. 

"Here." A hand extends, offering tissues which he takes gratefully and wipes at his mouth. "Let's sit you down." He is guided to a small step, sinking down and resting his head against the cool brick wall which is hidden in the shade. "Better?"

"Kurt?" he asks again, completely confused and disorientated as he tries to take in his surroundings.

"Yes, it's me. Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"Panic attack, I think," Kurt tells him as he squats down on his haunches in front of him. "When I found you, you were just about to fall into a dead faint."

"You came."

"Yes." 

"I just...oh god," Blaine moans, head falling into his hands. "I just threw up right in front of you."

"Yeah, shameful," Kurt teases. "Cause I'd never do anything like that."

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, mortified. 

"You couldn't help it. Mine was all self inflicted- and I've done it more than once. Sit here a moment, okay? I'm gonna run to the deli on the corner and get you some water. I have my phone so if you need me at all just call." 

He is back in minutes, cheeks flushed from running, and he hands Blaine one bottle of iced water while reaching around to rest the other one against the back of his neck. Blaine drinks gratefully, then wipes his mouth before looking at Kurt with a confused frown. 

"How did you...? Um... Because we...we said goodbye and I left... I don't..." he trails off, trying but failing to follow his own line of thought and not remembering what it was he was trying to ask. 

"Well..." Kurt sits on the narrow step next to him, their bodies pressed tight together which reassures and comforts Blaine as he talks. "When you'd gone I felt really sad. Like everything and nothing had gone wrong and I couldn't work out how to rectify it. So I walked into the dressing room and it hit me. You need me. Just as I need you. You were in that coffee shop telling me you'd be prepared to travel to Brooklyn, alone, just to attend a crappy keg party if I wanted you there, because you would do anything to support me. And there's me, moaning about having to attend a black tie cocktail event with all your colleagues because I'm worried about making a fool of myself. But none of that matters, does it? Because I want to support you. My presence isn't going to make a scrap of difference to Fred or...I dunno... Ginger," he says with a small smile. "But it will mean the world to you, just as it means everything to me that you came to see my show and that you'd face all your fears to support me at some dumb party. And I want to do this with you," he says earnestly. "I want to do life with you."

"So you came to find me?" Blaine says, tears shimmering in his eyes.

"I did. And I saw the moment you stopped and leaned against the wall. I was calling your name but I don't think your ears were working, so I pushed through all the crowds and got to you just as you started to fall."

"You came."

"I did. And I'll be on your arm for the reception tomorrow night too, if you'll let me."

"Of course I'll let you," Blaine nods. "I can't think of anything better. But please don't worry about making a fool of yourself. They're nice people, they're not out to make anyone look dumb or trip you up."

"I know. I just...let my own fears surface once again, I guess. I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"Don't worry about it."

"You always say that."

"Because really, what's the point in dwelling on it?" Blaine asks. "It's only going to make us both miserable. You had a moment, you've apologized and I've accepted. End of story. I mean what I said though," Blaine tells him, eyes full of sincerity, "I'll look after you."

"I know you will," Kurt smiles. "And I'll support you. We'll be making these vows to each other in ten months anyway; it seems wise to start practicing them right now,"

"I think you've been practising them for over three years already," Blaine says as he rests his head onto Kurt's shoulder. "And you've been doing a damn good job."

"We have," Kurt corrects. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go to that party tonight?"

"Positive," Kurt says honestly. "Really. I think I'd like to take another bath with you instead."

"You'll be all wrinkly, like a prune," Blaine teases.

"Says the old one." 

They sit quietly for a moment, Kurt's arm a comforting presence around Blaine's shoulders as his other hand comes across and entwines the fingers of their left hands, engagement rings sitting proudly side by side. Kurt finally relaxes as Blaine's breathing slows and becomes regular at last, and he places a gentle kiss into his hair. 

"What time is it?" 

"Five minutes to six," Kurt tells him. "Why?"

"Shit! I'm supposed to be at the concert hall at six."

"Well you can get there by ten after if you get a cab now," Kurt says as he stands and helps Blaine carefully to his feet. "Just go steady."

"Oh but I have to go back to the hotel to get my tux!" Blaine cries. "Oh fuck."

"I'll get your tux," Kurt says as he walks him back onto the Main Street as quickly as he dares. "Just go. Once you've done the warm up your tux will be there ready and waiting for you, I promise."

"But you'll get in trouble," Blaine says, trying desperately to swallow the panic he can feel approaching.

"What they gonna do? Fire me? It's my last show, Blaine. I don't have to be in makeup until six thirty. I'll only be a little late. Here," he says as a cab pulls to a halt in front of them. "Go. I love you."

"I love you too," Blaine says, taking his face in his hands and kissing him firmly on the lips. "Thank you."

"Welcome."

"And not just for the tux." 

Blaine makes it to the concert hall fifteen minutes late but much to his relief they are still tuning up. They run through a few of the pieces, going over parts the conductor wasn't happy with the previous night until they are dismissed with half an hour to go before curtain up. When he walks into the green room his tux is hanging there, and when he pulls on the jacket and puts his hand in the pocket it is to find his music note cufflinks and a small note from Kurt wishing him luck and reminding him he is loved. 

Kurt sneaks back into the theatre without anyone noticing apart from Santana but one glare from him is enough to keep her quiet until he has a moment alone with her. He's not so lucky when he goes down to makeup and finds the director, Freidrich standing there, but he doesn't understand German curse words anyway, so he lets it all go over his head. He takes his envelope of cash at the end of the night and rushes back to the hotel where Blaine is waiting with a tub full of bubbles and a bottle of champagne on ice. Giddy at his first considerable wage packet, and happy that the tortuous summer is over, he splashes Blaine happily with the water then takes him eagerly in his arms that night, reassuring him and holding him tight to his chest. Never pushing for more, never making Blaine feel uneasy, he keeps him safe at all times. 

The next night sees Kurt, Rachel, Finn and Santana looking on proudly as Blaine performs with the Symphony, and they rise to their feet for a standing ovation before Kurt very nervously makes his way backstage to find his fiancé. 

"I should have gotten you flowers," Kurt says quietly when Blaine rushes up to him. "You were wonderful."

"You can't get me flowers when we're going on vacation the next day," Blaine points out reasonably. "That would be a waste. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I did. It was better than last time I thought. I preferred the music and you seemed to fit in much better, I can tell that you weren't as nervous. Oh, and Finn was completely engrossed," Kurt smiles. "I thought he'd hate it. The girls enjoyed it too, I was expecting that but Finn...yeah...he's already downloaded the last album they did, even though I pointed out you weren't on that one." 

"I'm so glad," a beaming Blaine tells him. "I'll call Finn tomorrow- swell my head a little more," he smiles. "You look beautiful, Kurt," he says, lowering his voice and stepping closer to him as various orchestra members bustle past them with their instruments. "You make my head swim and the stars shine bright and....everything. You just make everything so much brighter and better."

"And you make me so happy," Kurt whispers, eyes filling with tears. "Can I kiss you? Or would you rather not? I mean...umpff." He is cut off abruptly by Blaine's lips on his, soft, warm and pliant and moving in the most wonderful way imaginable as just the tip of his tongue grazes over his.

"Oh. Okay...wow," a dazed Kurt says when Blaine pulls back. "Huh. Guess you really are proud to be seen with me then," he mutters, but the grin on his face is enormous and he just cannot shift it at all. 

"Ready to go?" Blaine says with a grin that matches Kurt's own.

"You could be taking me to the chair and I'd follow you happily right now," Kurt laughs as he takes Blaine's hand. 

The reception goes well. Kurt is nervous, and perhaps a little more quiet than usual, but he greets each of Blaine's colleagues politely and they are all happy to finally meet 'the one Blaine keeps talking about.' He is asked what he does, of course, and though he blushes furiously each time he explains he's still in college, no one seems unnecessarily shocked and no one asks his age. They leave fairly early, more at Blaine's insistence than Kurt's as he insists that a whole evening of staring at his fiancé in a tux means he desperately needs for them to be alone. 

They return to their hotel room, taking their time to undress one another slowly and explore each other's bodies with gentle hands and lips before Kurt spoons himself behind Blaine and pushes carefully inside. 

"Blaine," he says quietly into his shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"Can I just say something?"

"Right now?" Blaine asks with a groan.

"Yes. I just wanted to say that I'm so happy that you're mine. I know I tell you I love you every day- multiple times- but...yeah. I'm so proud of everything you've achieved, and you are such a wonderful, wonderful person. I'm still amazed- as I always am- that you choose to be with me."

"Thank you," Blaine whispers, pulling him unfathomably closer to his back. "But really Kurt, you are everything I could ever want...and there's nowhere else I'd rather be."


	27. Chapter 27

"Oh my god that's good," Blaine cries happily. "Ooh. Yes. Ahhhh."

"Okay, you're gonna have to stop with the sex noises otherwise I'm gonna end up going down on you right now, and I'm pretty sure that when we hired this car I read something about no lewd conduct. Plus you'd crash and that would be all kinds of awkward," Kurt says, pulling his sunglasses down and gazing out the window at the disappearing New York skyline.

"Sorry," Blaine laughs. "It just feels so good, you know? I mean, it's actually a whole lot easier there for me now- thanks to you- but I still feel an enormous sense of relief when I leave...plus vacation too..."

"Yeah I'm pretty psyched about that," Kurt says happily. "I've never been to Virginia Beach."

"Neither have I. But I'm guessing it has a beach."

"And virgins?"

Blaine turns to look at him over the top of his sunglasses. "I'm gonna pretend like you didn't even ask that," he says, trying to suppress a snort.

Their drive goes quickly, stopping in Delaware for lunch before continuing on down and reaching the ocean in the middle of the afternoon. They check into the Hilton and Blaine laughs loudly when Kurt screws his nose up at the room. 

"The Four Seasons was nicer."

"But this is perfectly fine," Blaine tells him. "It has all we need, bed, bath, shower and balcony."

"You're thinking sex, aren't you?"

"I am," Blaine confirms as he scoops Kurt into his arms. "And I think we should start with the bed."

*

"So what have you two been up to then?" Wes asks two days later when he and Kathy arrive at the hotel.

"Uh..." Blaine starts, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. 

"We did go to the beach yesterday," Kurt says. "For a couple of hours."

"Yes!" Blaine seizes on this. "And we actually ate in the restaurant last night too."

"Can I see your room?" Kathy asks Kurt sweetly. "You guys got lucky landing a corner room, you got a double balcony."

It's all too much for Kurt who laughs uncontrollably as Blaine shifts once again and winces. 

"You haven't emerged from that room, have you?" Wes asks as he rolls his eyes. "Honestly. Kathy honey, trust me. You do not want to see in their room."

"Oh I do," she says, now a whole lot more interested. 

"Uh...I have to tidy first," Kurt says, "but you can later. I'm so glad you guys are here," he reaches across to squeeze her hand.

"So am I, or one of you would end up dead. I fear for you both on honeymoon," Wes says as he sets his drink down. "So. Are you planning on being a little more sociable now? Like...maybe coming to Busch Gardens with us tomorrow?"

"Yes, definitely," Kurt grins. "Provided Blaine can sit for the drive." 

*  
Their vacation together is filled with laughter and long, lazy days spent by the beach or exploring the city. Kathy and Kurt have so many similarities it's almost spooky, and Wes and Blaine spend half a day reconnecting on the golf course while their respective partners shop, shop and shop some more. 

"Don't you ever tire of it?" Blaine asks that evening from where he sits on the bed, watching Kurt as he dresses for dinner.

"Are you kidding?" he turns away from the mirror to raise one eyebrow at Blaine before turning back, righting his new shirt and admiring his profile. "Anyway, I only got this shirt for me. The rest was for Kathy."

"You bought shoes, Kurt. Don't even try and hide it,"

"Oh yes," he says as if suddenly remembering- and not caring that Blaine can see right through it. "I bought shoes."

"And shorts."

"Actually, the shorts are for you. This pair is, anyway, and a shirt," he says, handing Blaine a bag with a pair of smart mustard shorts and navy shirt. "These two are for me."

"You're funny," Blaine laughs, standing to try the clothes on. 

"Funny haha, or funny strange?"

"Both."

"You're lucky you look damn good in that outfit otherwise I'd be tearing it off you and holding you down," Kurt says, eyes darkening as he approaches.

"No I don't," he says quickly. "I don't look good. I look terrible. Really bad."

"Ha! Nice try. But no. Tonight's the night and we don't want to be late for dinner."

"Kathy you look wonderful," Blaine says as they start to walk to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

"Well your fiancé helped me out," Kathy says shyly. Her pale blue sundress sets of the light golden tone to her skin perfectly and she looks positively radiant as she grins at Blaine. 

"Wes, I'm gonna escort your good lady to dinner if you don't mind," he says, offering her his arm. 

"That means I get Kurt then," Wes says, grabbing Kurt's arm and linking it through his, giving him no say in the matter. 

"Oh."

"You love it, Hummel."

"You okay?" Kurt asks, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper as Blaine and Kathy stroll ahead. 

"No. I think I might throw up any second," Wes answers honestly. "How did you do this Kurt? At your age? I admire you more than ever." 

"You admire me?" Kurt asks in surprise.

"Of course I do. You're remarkable. I couldn't have wished for anyone better for my best friend, because you love him so completely."

"Aw, thanks Wes," he smiles, dropping his head onto his shoulder briefly. "And you'll be fine, trust me."

"She might say no. We don't even live together...what if it's all too much?" 

"It won't be. You've been together a year and you're perfect for one another. Plus Blaine and I adore her, and we're gay so therefore have excellent judgement skills when it comes to the opposite sex."

"You do," Wes laughs, "But Blaine is beyond hopeless. Okay, okay. I can do this," he says with a firm nod as the restaurant comes into sight. "I can...oh god I'm gonna puke."

"No you're not. Blaine puked on me the other day and I'm not standing for it again," he smiles and kisses Wes' cheek. "Just stick to the plan you worked out with Blaine and it'll all be fine." 

Wes barely speaks through dinner, prompting Blaine to give him a sharp kick under the table when Kathy asks him if he's sick. He manages very little of his food, but gets halfway through a large glass of wine before Blaine takes it from him with a pointed look. Kurt does his best to keep an animated conversation going, but there are great awkward gaps where no one seems to know what to say. Blaine is insistent on settling the bill much to Wes' chagrin, but he silences him with another look which has him staring meekly at his shoes. 

"Well thank you for dinner, you guys," Kathy says as they step outside. "Let us take you out tomorrow." 

"Sure," Blaine smiles, then he calls to her as she turns back in the direction of the hotel. "Hey, why don't we all walk along the beach for a while? The sun is setting and it's so pretty."

"It is," she agrees, "you two go for it but we'll head back. Wes really isn't looking too good..."

"I can go for a walk," he says weakly.

"No it's okay honey," she says kindly then turns to Kurt and Blaine. "We'll see you at breakfast."

"No come on," Kurt tries, stepping between them both and linking his arms through theirs. "A sunset stroll sounds wonderful. It'll make Wes feel better I'm sure."

He gives her no choice but forcibly walks them toward the sand, taking Blaine's hand in his once they've all kicked their shoes off and picking up the pace so they leave Wes and Kathy behind. 

"Is he gonna do it now?" Kurt asks, keeping his voice low even though they're ahead. 

"That's the idea," Blaine murmurs back. "Just don't turn around yet."

"I really want to though."

"Me too. Okay...on my count. But just a quick glance, okay? Nothing more."

"Okay."

"One...two...three." They quickly look over their shoulders, catching a glimpse of Wes, silhouetted by the setting sun, down on one knee and holding Kathy's hand. They turn back to one another quickly, Kurt wrapping his arm around Blaine's shoulder as they try and keep their squeal of joy at an acceptable level. 

"Ahhhh," Kurt says. "Oh my god!"

"I know! I'm crying."

"You always cry. But I'm crying too. Awww!"

"I don't know why this makes me completely overwhelmed with love for you, but it does," Blaine sniffs.

"Cause it's our wedding soon, Blaine. Our wedding!"

"Kiss me." 

Kurt surges forward as Blaine's hand moves to his face and they kiss deeply, Kurt wrapping Blaine tight in his embrace and moaning as their tongues meet. A sudden and very loud "SHE SAID YES!" from Wes has them pulling apart and running toward the happy couple, sweeping them into their arms as tears of happiness are shed by all. They walk back to the hotel, laughing and chatting animatedly- with weddings their sole topic of conversation until the early hours. 

*

The rest of their summer remains just as happy. Blaine has no orchestra commitments meaning they have five uninterrupted days together before flying to LA for a week with the family which as always, goes too quickly. When they return, Kurt enters into his final year at college. The pace is almost frantic with everyone desperate to prove their worth ready for when they're thrust out into the real world in just a few short months. Blaine turns in another successful advertising campaign while also rehearsing and recording with the orchestra, moving right on to working towards their holiday concert and their upcoming Austrian tour. 

Before they know it, Blaine's thirty sixth birthday comes and goes followed by Kurt's twenty first. Blaine goes to town, with twenty one gifts for the birthday boy ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, a sumptuous meal out with both families including Cooper, Claire and the twins, followed by an enormous party in a nightclub. Kurt would like to say he remembered every detail, but frankly the entire party is a blur. The hangover that followed was not, nor was the very vocal displeasure voiced by Blaine at getting vomited on again. But as with all their tiffs, they soon move past it, more focused on the holiday season now fast approaching than staying angry at one another. 

"So I met someone today," Blaine says one afternoon in early December. He has just arrived home, cheeks and nose red from the cold and he kisses into Kurt's neck as he stands making dinner, laughing at the way in which Kurt shudders. 

"That's a nice way to greet your fiancé," Kurt smiles as he turns to peck his lips. "I hope he was hot....and worth it."

"It was a woman."

"Really? Wow. I knew you were up for trying a lot of things Blaine but I never in a million years thought..."

"Behave," he laughs as he swipes a carrot from the chopping board. "She's studying music at TUC, and she used to live in Lima."

"Small world," Kurt smiles.

"I was telling her about you...quite proudly."

"And rightly so."

"And she told me she used to go to elementary school with a Kurt. She seems to think she might know you, and I agree. Her name is Lacy."

"What? Lacy McKenzie? As in Lacy who I wanted to marry in Kindergarten, Lacy?"

"Yeah," Blaine laughs. "She wondered if you'd like to meet up sometime."

"Oh my god I'd love to! I haven't seen her in years. She left when we went to middle school, her parents moved away."

"Yes, they moved here."

"That's so funny!" 

"Well I'm seeing her again tomorrow, she's coming in to observe a few rehearsals. Do you want me to give her your number?"

"Giving your fiancé's number to women? Very forward," Kurt winks as he hands him a beer. "But yes, please do." 

Lacy and Kurt meet for coffee and pick up almost right where they left off. Coffee stretches into lunch as they tell one another all the news of the last ten plus years, and Kurt of course details everything about him and Blaine while Lacy tells him she hasn't met anyone special yet but she's working on it. 

"Oh, you should come to our party next week then!" Kurt says excitedly. "Well, I say party, but it's more of a gathering. It's kind of become a tradition of ours for all our old Lima friends to come visit over the holidays, ever since Blaine proposed. But we're away this year so we're having it early instead. You'd be very welcome."

"I don't know," she smiles, tucking her long dark hair behind her ears. "If it's all your closest friends..."

"Nonsense. Please come. They're not all Lima expats. Joe's coming," Kurt smiles, hoping they will hit it off right away. "He's my best friend here. And a few others from college. Please?"

"I never could say no to those eyes," she laughs. "Okay. I'll come."

*

"She looks like Rachel," Sebastian remarks as he observes Lacy talking with her double. "Only not as Jewish."

"She does not look like Rachel," Kurt says. "Just cause she has dark hair and dark eyes."

"And she's about two feet tall," Jeff chips in. 

"She's hot."

"Thank you Joe!" Kurt says, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. "Come on. It's time for me to introduce you two."

Blaine finds Kurt in the kitchen later that evening, sipping at a glass of red wine as he surveys the scene before him. Wes, Sebastian, Santana, Lacy and Joe are all playing cards while Rachel, Kathy Nick and Finn dance. Across the other side of the room Mercedes, Sam, Jeff and Artie are having a very animated discussion about something and Kurt's college friends are in their usual corner. 

"It won't work, you know," Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind and kissing his neck. 

"What won't?"

"Your little matchmaking scheme. I really don't think Joe is interested in any kind of relationship, and you know Lacy wants that."

"He might change his mind," he shrugs. "I don't suppose you were looking to fall in love with a fifteen year old, but it happened."

"Touché," Blaine laughs. "And boy did it. Do you remember the flowers I sent you on your sixteenth birthday?"

"You might want to ask Carole."

"Why?"

"I gave them to her. I was angry," Kurt rushes on, feeling bad. "We'd had that incident in the club and I...."

"That's okay," Blaine shrugs. "It was five years ago. I'd say all that's happened since has more than made up for it." He turns him around then and takes the glass from Kurt's hand, lacing their fingers together and kissing him gently. 

"You are delicious," Kurt grins.

"Are you drunk?"

"No! That's my first glass. I just happen to think you're delicious."

"All of me?"

"Every part," Kurt grins wickedly. "I like to taste you."

"Stop it," Blaine warns. 

"I like opening you up with my tongue," Kurt whispers into his ear, making sure their groins brush together lightly as he leans in. "I love it when you're gripping the headboard and begging for more."

Blaine whimpers, fingers digging into Kurt's hips as he tugs him closer. "Kuuurt," he whines, "don't do this....not now."

"And then I push inside," Kurt carries on regardless, "and take you, claim you, make you mine over and over until we both come together."

"That's it," Blaine says decisively, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hall to their bedroom. "Party's over for us."

"Oh no Blaine. The party's just beginning." 

Kurt emerges the next morning, leaving a still sleeping Blaine resting on his front and snoring lightly. He makes his way to the kitchen, surprised to find his apartment empty except for Lacy sitting alone at the kitchen table.

"Where is everyone?"

"They went for breakfast," she tells him as he fetches coffee for himself and Blaine.

"Didn't you want to go?"

"Uh...no. No. I um.... I was still in bed," she says, a shy blush creeping across her cheeks. 

"Oh," Kurt grins to himself, hiding his face in his mug. 

"Good morning," Santana calls happily as she strides into the kitchen in her underwear, making Kurt wince. He opens his mouth to reprimand her but stops when he sees the gentle brush of her fingertips over Lacy's shoulder. 

"Oh!" he cries, unable to help himself. "Oh! I didn't..."

"What?" Santana snaps, pushing him to one side so she can rummage in the fridge. 

"Nothing!" Kurt says, trying to bring his voice back down to a more normal range. "Nothing at all. I just...."

"It's called being a lesbian, Hummel," Santana remarks dryly, one hand on her hip. "Have you never heard of it?"

"I... No. I mean yes!" he blushes. "Yes I have I just didn't know..." He trails off, gesturing uselessly between the two girls, who both look very amused. "I didn't...right. Well. Um...I'm just gonna..." Walking backwards towards his room, his eyes are still wide as he clutches the two coffees tightly. "I'll just be in here....with my coffee... You two just... Yeah. Help yourselves. To each other. Or food!" he cries, withering under Santana's glare. "Food. Help yourselves to food."

Diving in the bedroom and kicking the door closed behind him, he shakes Blaine roughly awake. "Hey! Blaine! Get up!" 

"What is it?" he asks in confusion, moving to sit up against the pillows and rubbing blearily at his eyes. 

"Lacy stayed last night."

"Didn't everyone?"

"Yes...but she stayed with someone."

"Ah," he smiles, rubbing a hand over his stubble. "So it worked."

"With Santana."

"Oh!" A surprised laugh bubbles up from within Blaine, then he cocks his head and scrunches his nose in thought. "I suppose if I wanted to be all Freudian about it I could question why she's gone for someone who looks so much like Rachel."

"She does not look like Rachel!"

"She does. Anyway," he drains his coffee in record time, setting it back on the nightstand. "C'mere."

"That's it? That's all you've got to say?"

"Yes. Now come here," he says, patting his lap.

"Why?"

"Cause I'm horny."

"You're always horny," Kurt laughs, but he crawls across the bed willingly, resting his head into Blaine's lap, his mouth just inches from his semi hard cock. 

"Your fault. You shouldn't be so alluring."

"I'll stop."

"You couldn't stop if you tried," Blaine grins down at him. "You only have to exist for me to want you." 

"I wonder why she didn't say?" Kurt muses as Blaine huffs in frustration. "I mean, when we first met for coffee I told her all about you and she said she had yet to meet that special someone. She didn't add that it had to be a woman."

"Well maybe it doesn't have to be."

"She's bi?"

"I don't know, do I?" Blaine cries. "But I do know that you have a choice between sucking me off or me jerking off all over your face while you lie there moaning about lesbians."

Kurt roars with laughter, smacking his leg playfully before his fingers dip under his waistband. "Well if it's a choice....you know how I like to taste you...."

*

Christmas comes, and this year it finds Kurt and Blaine sitting around a table with the Hummel-Hudson's, all the Anderson's, Rachel's dad's and a newly engaged Finn and Rachel. She looks completely radiant, Finn looks proud and Kurt looks mutinous until she promises they won't be marrying for at least eighteen months. 

A brief phone call from Santana lets them know that Lacy is in New York for the whole holiday, and Joe tries to call and wish them both a happy Christmas over the noise of his small sisters unwrapping presents. Wes and Kathy join them in the afternoon, and once the wine is open and the karaoke machine is on, the rest of the day flies by. As is their usual habit at large gatherings, Kurt and Blaine sneak upstairs, assuming no one has noticed when in reality everyone just rolls their eyes and carries on regardless. 

"That was fun," Kurt smiles as Blaine flops onto the bed. 

"That was exhausting," Blaine corrects, rolling onto his stomach and taking in the pictures on Kurt's old nightstand. "You look so young," he muses, smiling at the feel of Kurt draping himself over his back. "Did I know you then?"

"Nearly. That's Rachel and I on her sweet sixteen, you and I met a week after."

"No regrets?"

"Are you actually insane?" Kurt asks, pulling his collar down to nip at his neck. "No way! Why... Do you?" 

"None at all," Blaine grins, wriggling until he can turn onto his back so Kurt can straddle him. "We've been together for four and a half years, and though the road hasn't always been smooth, this coming year will see us becoming husbands....no, no regrets at all."

"I love you, old man."

Blaine grins, one hand reaching up and pulling Kurt down to meet his lips. "You too gorgeous boy."


	28. Chapter 28

"How come you're okay on planes but if you have to stand on the table to change the lightbulb you age ten years and cry for your momma?" Kurt asks. They are two hours into their flight to Austria, and Kurt has found he can settle very nicely into first class. His chair is reclined, eye mask on, drink on hand and ear buds ready, though they've been talking non stop since take off anyway. 

"I do not," Blaine laughs. "But I have absolutely no idea. I don't question it, I'm just grateful that it is what it is. I don't need a fear of flying to add to my ever growing list."

"Ha! You made a classical music reference. Very smart."

"That was Liszt."

"That's what I said. Anyway," he sits, taking his eye mask off to look at him. "What list? What are you fearful of?"

"Literally everything to do with this wedding," he says with a small, nervous laugh. "Messing my vows up, you not showing, me having a complete panic attack, Santana speaking to anyone, Rachel refusing to relinquish the microphone, me crying and not being able to stop...."

"Woah, woah. Okay." Taking his hands, Kurt looks him square in the eye. "Stop with the me not showing up thing, because you know- and I know that you know- that that's not going to happen. I will be there. There is nowhere else I'd rather be, not even if Saks announced a fifty percent off sale," he jokes. "You won't mess your vows up, we can practice beforehand if you like, together or separately. You won't have a panic attack, you'll be nervous, yes, but so will I. There is no reason for you to have one, you'll be in LA and we will be surrounded by family and friends who love us and support us. Santana can be gagged if necessary- she'd probably enjoy it, and Finn can be on hand to take the microphone from Rachel and just hold it up in the air- there's no way she could reach. There." 

"And the crying?"

"That I can't help you with. Only console you with the fact that I will be crying too. And my dad." 

"I want it to be now," Blaine says as he leans back in his chair, "you make me feel so much better."

"Well I sure as hell don't want it to be now. We still have a lot of plans to finalize." 

"Such as?"

"Such as burgundy or plum for the cravats, for one." 

"Uh...well... Can I be honest here?"

"Yes."

Biting his lip, Blaine hesitates for a moment before anxiously blurting "I don't want to wear a cravat. I want to wear a bow tie." 

"Okay."

"Really? That's okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt laughs. "It's your wedding tux. Besides, you're synonymous with bow ties." 

"Wow. I thought you'd freak."

Kurt bites his bottom lip. "Am I that bad?"

"Actually, you're not. You've been amazing about every aspect of wedding planning, I have to say. You've made a point of asking for my opinion."

"That's because it's our wedding, Blaine, and not just mine." He smiles at him, then rummages in his bag for a notebook and pen. "So.... If you want a bow tie..." he says as he sketches frantically, "I'm thinking we could give you a vest also. And if we went with burgundy then I could wear a burgundy jacket and cravat.... I like plum but I'd look like Willy Wonka. Anyway... Something like this, maybe?"

He turns the notebook and Blaine's eyes go wide. There on the page are two perfect sketches of faceless figures wearing tastefully designed suits, one figure shorter than the other. 

"How do you do that?" Blaine asks in amazement, "You're so talented."

"I don't know about that, I still need to make them. But what do you think?" 

"I think yes, definitely."

"Cool," Kurt settles back in his chair, smiling broadly. "Now.... First dance."

"Hmm. Any thoughts?" Blaine asks. 

"None. Which is ridiculous, given how many songs we've done over the years, but I think that might be the problem- there's too many to choose from."

"See Beneath Your Beautiful," Blaine says decisively. "It's the song we sang the night..."

"We made love for the first time," Kurt smiles as he cuddles close to him. "Yes."

"And no one will know except us."

"And everyone who was at the Lima Bean that night," Kurt points out. "But I don't care. It's perfect. Although, no offense to Emeli, but no one will sing it as well as we do."

"Well that's a given," Blaine laughs as he kisses the top if his head. "Actually.... How would you feel about singing our first song, as opposed to dancing? I mean, we could dance in the instrumental, I could record the music before...but we could get up on stage and sing."

"Yeah," Kurt says, the idea growing on him as he sits up and turns to face Blaine again. "I like it. No, I love it. It'll be perfect. Oh!" he says, becoming more and more animated. "How about this? Since we have such wonderfully talented family and friends, why don't we ask people to perform songs instead of giving us gifts? It's not like there's really anything we need, we've been living together so long and..."

"You wouldn't want to hear my dad sing, but other than that... Yes! You are so smart."

"I know."   
*

 

They land in Vienna, the performers and their families all being escorted out into the bitterly cold night to a waiting bus which takes them to a beautiful hotel with outstanding views across the city. 

“I love your job,” Kurt says as he looks down at the lights shining on the snow. 

“I thought you might,” Blaine laughs. “So...we should probably get to bed, since I have rehearsals all day tomorrow.”

“All day?”

“I’ll be back for dinner,” he says, taking Kurt in his arms when he notices the look of hurt flashing across his features. “Don't worry. At breakfast I’ll introduce you to Ken’s wife and some of the other families. I think it's kind of customary for them all to go do something together. It’s quite the community.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, swallowing down his panic. “Sounds...fun.”

“I’m sure you can find a shopping companion somewhere,” Blaine says as they climb into bed and he flips out the light. 

“I guess,” Kurt murmurs quietly, hoping he sounds confident, but the way he turns to be little spoon rather than having Blaine cuddle into him, tells his fiancé all he needs to know. 

“Don’t worry, Kurt,” he whispers as he holds him tight, body curling around him and keeping him safe. “They’ll all love you.” 

*

“Kurt, you know Ken, and this is his wife Gill,” Blaine says, introducing a very posh looking lady in a twinset and pearls. They greet one another politely, and Gill insists they join them at their table- forcing Kurt to give up his wistful notion of cosying up with Blaine at a window table for two. 

“I’ll go get your breakfast,” Blaine says, thinking he’s being kind. “You two talk.”

Ken and Blaine head to the buffet, leaving Kurt smiling tightly at a woman who he hasn’t the first idea how to speak to. 

“So....Blaine tells me you grew up in Ohio,” Gill says. “That's funny, I did too.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. My younger brother went to Dalton- in fact he was two years ahead of Blaine. I attended St Monica’s. Where did you go?”

“Uh...Just...uh...McKinley High, in Lima.”

“Oh,” Gill says, not sure how to proceed. “I see. Oh!” she looks past him, smiling. “You can meet my children. Grace, Patrick, this is Kurt. His fiancé, Blaine, is second violinist. He’s the one at the buffet with daddy.”

Kurt looks up, expecting to be confronted with two kids, but to his abject horror, they are around his age- possibly older. Patrick slumps in his chair opposite, nodding a curt hello before pulling his phone from his pocket while Grace pours tea for herself. 

“Nice to meet you,” he tries, but they either don't hear or don't care. To his blessed relief, Blaine and Ken return to the table and he finds it much easier to talk with his fiancés reassuring presence by his side. He manages to tell Ken and Gill about college, and Gill tries to entice Grace into conversation by telling everyone she’s a final year psych major.

“And Patrick graduated last year,” she smiles. “First class honors in economics.”

Kurt thinks he might have also gained a first class degree in ignorance too, but he smiles and says nothing as the older boy continues to text while shoving toast in his face. 

“What did you study, Blaine?” Ken asks. “I started out majoring in English but switched to music.”

“I did music and music theory at NYU,” Blaine says. “It's all I ever wanted to do.”

“So I’m curious how you two came to meet.”

Kurt cringes inwardly as he feels the whole family take notice, but Blaine is so proud that Kurt hasn't the heart to try and rein him in. 

“I moved back from New York,” Blaine is saying, taking Kurt’s hand in his. “And I started playing at an open mic night. Kurt arrived one week with his friends and the rest is history I guess,” he grins. 

“So you started dating right away?”

“No...he..uh...” Blaine stops, giving a small nervous laugh and glancing quickly at Kurt. “He was still fifteen and I was thirty one so we waited. We started to date halfway through his sophomore year. And now...here we are, five months from getting married.”

“You’re getting married at twenty one?” Grace asks Kurt in a biting tone. “There’s no way I would marry at twenty one. No way I’d marry before thirty at all.”

“Well each to their own,” Kurt says tightly. “I proposed to Blaine when I was just nineteen. I don't want anyone else. When you know, you know.”

“When you have a sugar daddy with a five figure salary, you know,” Patrick mutters- but loud enough for all to hear. Kurt feels Blaine tense next to him, but he squeezes his hand quickly. 

“Yes, that's true,” he nods sagely. “I do like to spend Blaine’s money. I’m quite lucky I guess. All I have to do is put out five times a week and he keeps me in designer clothes.”

Ken chokes hard on his coffee while Gill looks affronted, but they recover quick enough, and Gill forces Patrick to make a grumbling apology. The musicians are called then, and Blaine kisses Kurt quickly on the cheek “Be nice,” he whispers with a wink. “I’ll see you at dinner, gorgeous boy.” 

“I'm going to fetch some more fruit,” Gill says brightly when the dining room has quietened down. “Kurt, can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m good thanks,” he says politely, hoping it will go some way to make up for having been rude to her son. 

“You’re disgusting,” Patrick says, coming to life as soon as his mom is out of earshot. “You and that guy... it's gross.”

“Yes, thank you for your valuable insight into my relationship with my fiancé,” Kurt says primly. “I’ll remember to call on you the next time I want an intelligent opinion on the state of my love life.” 

“He calls you gorgeous boy,” Grace sneers, rushing to her brothers defense. “And he probably got you into bed at fifteen. That’s just creepy as hell. It won’t last, you know. You’ll get older and he’ll just move on to another younger, prettier plaything.”

“Why? Is that what happened to you?” Kurt bites. “Let me tell you both something,” he snaps, leaning across the table. “You may be older than me, you may have gone to private school and always had the best in life, but money and breeding does not equate to class. Blaine is the perfect gentleman and I am proud to call him my fiancé. I fail to see what business it is of yours to interfere and pass judgement on our relationship, and I strongly suggest you examine the state of your own miserable existences before you cast aspersions on mine. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Standing, he tosses his napkin onto the table and storms from the dining room, shoulders slumping when Gill calls out to him. 

“We’re going sightseeing today, if you’d like to join us? There’s quite a few of us going. Failing that, Richard’s boys are going up to the mountains for snowboarding. They’re around your age.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says politely, wishing she would leave him alone so he could shut himself in his room and cry. “But I have a lot of college work to do. I’ll catch up with you later.”

When Blaine returns hours later, it is to find Kurt pretty much where he’s been all day, curled up on his side reading. 

“Oh, hey!” Blaine says in surprise. “I didn't think you’d be here.”

“Hey,” Kurt replies, rolling over and resting his book on the nightstand. 

“I thought I heard someone saying the families had all gone sightseeing? Didn’t you want to join them?”

“No....I uh...I had study to do for college. Reading.”

“You’re reading Harry Potter, Kurt,” Blaine says, eyeing him curiously as he sits on the bed. “How come you didn't go?”

“I just didn't want to, that’s all,” Kurt says sullenly. 

Blaine shifts closer, running his fingers along Kurt’s forearm. “I can’t be with you all the time, you know,” he says sadly. “I wish I could but....If you’re going to come on the tours it’s gonna be a pretty lonely existence if you just shut yourself away in your room the whole time. Please try and make some friends. They’re nice people, good people.”

“But...” Kurt starts, but trails off, not wanting to cause a scene and hurt Blaine’s feelings. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. I’m gonna shower ready for dinner.” 

He walks stiffly to the bathroom, aware of Blaine’s eyes trained on his back. Taking his time, he lets the hot water fall onto his face to wash away the tears of loneliness and isolation, and he shaves, taking extra care not to cut himself which he knows would only emphasise his youth and inexperience. Picking up Blaine’s cologne, he applies it liberally, wanting and needing a constant reminder of his man, then he returns to the bedroom to dress. 

“So is it suits for dinner?” he asks with forced brightness. 

“Yes,” Blaine nods. “And after dinner drinks in the library apparently.”

“Great,” Kurt mutters as he heads to the closet. 

“Kurt? Is something wrong? You seem really upset about something.”

“No, it’s fine,” he says, flashing him a smile before turning to pick his clothes. 

“Did that jerk say anything else to you?” Blaine notices the slump in Kurt’s shoulders and rushes on before he can deny it. “He did! Oh darling, tell me, please.” He’s by his side in an instant, pulling him tight to his chest as his hands rub soothingly over the smooth skin of his back. 

“He...he said we were disgusting. I gave some sassy retort and left. That’s all.”

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine says, stricken as he kisses his cheek. “I’ll talk to Ken.”

“No, no. Don’t do that. Really Blaine, it’s fine. No big deal.”

“We’re not, you know,” Blaine tells him, lifting his chin gently so they’re eye to eye. “We’re not disgusting. Others might not understand, but we fell in love. It’s as simple and uncomplicated as that.”

“I know,” Kurt nods. “I do know that. It just hurts when someone says it right to your face, that’s all.” 

“Well we won’t be sitting with them at dinner, that’s for sure,” Blaine says, hugging him tight once more. 

“Thank you,” Kurt whispers gratefully over his shoulder. “Thank you.”

But any hopes Kurt had of that romantic table for two dissipate as soon as they arrive in the dining room to find the tables arranged as two long banquet tables, complete with place cards determining where everyone must sit. 

“I can trade with whomever you’re next to,” Blaine says nervously, noting the way in which Kurt looks so very near to tears. 

“No, don’t do that. What would they all think?” He tries a trembling smile but knows it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine. I’ll meet you after.”

Blaine is seated on the first table, between the trombone player and the wife of a cellist, while Kurt is on the second. Some thought had obviously gone into the seating arrangement, because the orchestra members and spouses are all seated together, with the children at the far end....and that’s where Kurt finds his place. Tears of shame prick at his eyes when he sits between Molly- seventeen year old daughter of the percussionist, and Jules, the son of the conductor who is in his first year of college. They are nice, much to Kurt’s relief, and Jules tells him that nearly all the children join their parents for the holiday tour, adding that he and Molly have grown up together. He invites Kurt to join them the next day for a huge snowball fight followed by hot chocolate, and Kurt politely tells him he’ll think about it. Patrick and Grace are opposite, Patrick looking as sullen as ever and Grace flirting with a boy the same age as Kurt. They snort when he tells them all of his engagement, but Molly gushes that it’s the cutest thing she ever heard and presses for details of the wedding. After dinner, those over twenty one make their way to the library with their parents, and Kurt says a reluctant goodbye to Jules and Molly who head to another girls room for a netflix marathon. 

“How was it?” Blaine asks, taking his hand and ushering him toward the bar. 

“Humiliating,” Kurt grumbles. “At least the people I was sitting with were nice. But I was with all the kids, Blaine. The kids.”

“They’re not kids though,” Blaine reasons. “Well, some are. But most are around your age.”

“That’s just it though,” he sighs. “They are the children of your colleagues.”

Blaine frowns at him in confusion. “I'm not sure I follow.”

“Just forget it,” Kurt snaps as they wait to be served. 

Blaine panics inwardly all night, torn between keeping polite conversation with others or making sure Kurt is okay. Which he is not. Sullen and uncompromising, he barely answers any questions directed at him, leaving Blaine to try and fill awkward silences while he scowls at his shoes. Taking his arm, Blaine steers him into a corner, crowding in close to try and avoid a scene. 

"Please stop," he whispers desperately. "Or at least tell me what I've done."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Kurt says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I can't 'get' anything if you don't tell me what's upset you, Kurt. But people are trying to get to know you, to include you in their conversations and you're just staring at the floor. You were quick enough to criticize Patrick this morning but you're doing the same, only this time it's worse."

To his humiliation, Kurt feels tears threatening, but he swallows hard and looks into his eyes. "How is it worse, Blaine? How?"

"Because that's my conductor and his wife, sitting there asking you if you enjoyed La Boheme for your birthday. He got the tickets for me Kurt, as a huge favor. The entire run was sold out but not only did Riccardo get us in, he got us a box. And all you can say in return is that it was okay."

"Well it was," he pouts, leaving Blaine to run a hand through his impeccably gelled hair in frustration. 

"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry if you feel that way because I thought it was one of the most magical moments I've ever had the privilege to share with you. I'm sorry if I've said, or done something to upset you, and I'm sorry if you don't like any of the people I work with. But this is my job, and I'm still a newbie. I want to make a good impression. So I'm gonna go back over there and talk with these people, and whether you choose to join me or go and sulk upstairs is your choice."

"What do you want me to do?"

Blaine stops and turns back to him, a sad smile on his face. "I want you by my side, Kurt. As I always do." 

"Trouble in paradise?" Ken asks amiably when Blaine returns.

"Uh..."

"No. No trouble at all," Kurt smiles, sliding his hand into Blaine's and squeezing tight. "I just needed to tell Blaine how very proud I am of him. He's achieved so much this year, and I cannot wait to see you all play tomorrow. Gill, I was wondering if I could sit with you for the concert?"

"Of course dear," she smiles politely. "We can cheer our loved ones on together."

"Thank you," Kurt says with a polite nod, then he turns to Riccardo. "Forgive me," he smiles. "When you were asking about La Boheme I was getting muddled with a rather average performance of Aida Blaine and I saw. I loved Boheme. The whole evening was exquisite, from beginning to end." 

Kurt buries himself in small talk and polite conversation, so much so that Blaine doesn't get a second alone with him until the evening winds to a close and everyone retreats to their rooms. They walk silently up the grand, sweeping staircase and along the hallway to their room where Blaine holds the door open for Kurt to step inside. 

"Thank you," he says simply as Kurt stares at the floor. "That means everything to me, so thank you."

"I love you so much," Kurt whispers, shaking his head as tears start to fall. "I'm sorry if I let you down. I'm sorry." 

Blaine is there in an instant, taking him in his arms and letting him cry, soothing him with all the words and reassurances Kurt needs to hear before guiding him to the small couch where he takes his jacket and pours him a drink.

"What's that?" he asks, taking the glass and eyeing it suspiciously. 

"Whiskey."

"I'm not you," he says, handing it back. "Oh god. That was supposed to be a joke," he explains as he looks at Blaine's face. "Clearly it was in poor taste."

Blaine smiles and set the untouched liquor back on the tray. "No, I knew it was a joke, and I would have laughed if I wasn't so worried."

"Worried?"

"I want you to be happy, Kurt. And you're not. And that really sucks."

"I'm happy for you."

"That's not the same." Blaine moves to sit next to him, taking both his hands as he continues earnestly. "Talk with me, please." 

He nods slowly, taking a deep breath before he looks Blaine in the eye. "This might sound terribly full of self pity, but yes, I will talk with you because if I don't it will lead to arguments and resentment- and I don't think either of us want that. So.... Forgive my selfishness but I'm going to tell you things from my point of view, and then maybe you can tell me things from yours."

"Okay."

"I feel like it's hard enough to find your place in your own life at twenty one, let alone in anyone else's. I'm trying to work out where I fit, not only in terms of friendships but also in terms of a future career. Right at this moment all my doubts and insecurities seem more heightened than ever. I'm worried about my voice, my dancing ability...everything to do with performing. Then there's me as a person. Am I smart enough? Funny enough? Do people like me? Add to that me trying to fit in with all of this," he gestures around the room, "and I really feel completely overwhelmed. You see, and I mean this in the kindest possible way...this is your dream, not mine. And I want to see you live that, I do. More than anything. But the fact remains that you have moved in higher social circles than me all your life. That makes no difference to us as a couple, and I certainly don't think your parents are snobs or anything of the sort. But you and Cooper were very privileged children. Talking with people like this...it comes easy to you. But the classical world...it's very rich, very opulent. I'm not saying the people aren't nice because mostly they are. But I don't know what to say, how to act. My dad doesn't work in stocks, I don't ride on the weekends, and I have no clue which composer is better than the other.  
And then...the worst thing of all...is to be seated with the kids at dinner. The kids. They may be my age, but they are the children of the people you work with, Blaine. You're the youngest one here by a country mile."

"I'm not," he protests. "Vicky is thirty five." 

"But does Vicky have a partner travelling with her?"

"No," Blaine says softly. 

"And if she did have, would they be only twenty one years old? You see...the problem I have is that I'm supposed to be your equal. I know you and I worked through all that a long time ago, and that's great. But I feel like my age is making them all think of me as a kid, still. And I'm not. I want to be by your side, to share all this with you but I feel so very lonely and insecure about everything, and I'm not sure how to move past that." 

Blaine leans in, kissing him gently on the lips. "Wait right here."

"What?"

"I'll be back," he says, climbing from the couch. "Give me two minutes. Maybe five," opening the door, he backs out into the hallway. "Ten at the outside." 

Kurt finds himself laughing in disbelief, but he takes the opportunity to change into his pajamas and climbs under the covers to wait for Blaine's return.

"Sixteen," he says when a breathless Blaine returns.

"Damnit. Okay," he falls onto the bed next to him. "That little table in the dining room? The one by the window? It's ours for breakfast tomorrow. And for the duration of our stay. Tomorrow night I'll already be at the musikverein to prepare for the concert, but I've requested that you are seated with all the other spouses, and I've made a point of telling the tour rep that you are not to be included with the offspring for any further dinners...." he stops, looking down at the bedspread before looking back up. "I can't do much... In all honesty I feel a little hopeless. But I want you to be happy and comfortable. I don't want to give this gig up."

"No! Blaine, I would never, ever want you to do that."

"I know you wouldn't, and that's why I love you. We're going to be involved with these people for a number of years, Kurt. People wait a whole lifetime for opportunities like this, so they don't just drop in and out of the job. We don't have to invite them all for dinner, or to our New Years parties or even to the wedding...but I have a fundamental obligation to socialize with them on tours and after performances."

"I know that."

"But my obligation is to you, first and foremost. To your happiness and well being. God knows I love you endlessly and I hate to see you hurting. I'm sorry if I was harsh earlier..."

"You weren't," Kurt cuts him off. "I was being rude, you were right, and I needed that talking to. I actually liked talking with Riccardo. Once you get past the accent and can understand him, he's incredibly witty."

"He's a nutcase," Blaine smiles. "But he likes you. Everyone here does, Kurt. Except that jerk Patrick and the bitchy girl whose name I can't remember."

"Grace."

"Well she has none. Ken and Gill are lovely, but their kids are brats. Breeding doesn't give you class."

"That's what I said," Kurt smiles. "To their faces."

"Ha!" Blaine laughs, shaking his head, "Brilliant..... I'm serious, gorgeous boy. You are liked, you are accepted. Please don't form this mental barrier because you had a bad encounter with two morons. If you liked the guys you were sitting with at dinner, find them tomorrow and spend time with them. If you'd rather go shopping, ask around. I'm sure Riccardo's wife probably has a platinum visa or whatever and would happily browse the boutiques with you. Do what makes you happy."

"Can I do you?"

"Of course."

"Excellent." They both laugh, and Kurt crawls happily into Blaine's warm embrace. "Thank you. I feel like we could have ended up fighting over this, but I'm glad we both understood one another and listened to what the other had to say."

"Me too. And in all honesty, I'd say that nearly five years down the road we're past the point of petty arguments, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. I feel so much better now."

"Good. I'm glad. So....tomorrow is the concert, and the next day is the New Years Ball."

"And you have to play for that, right?"

"Only two pieces. There's five different orchestras, and the Vienna Philharmonic will do the longest set- seeing as it's their home. I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"You'll dance the Viennese Waltz with me. They're holding a practice class in the ballroom here tomorrow right after breakfast.... Please?"

"Oh Blaine, I don't know. I mean, the girl is supposed to wear one of those beautiful floaty dresses...two guys in tuxes are really gonna stand out, and it's so much spinning..."

"I'll be the girl, I don't care. Please, Kurt. Let me twirl my Prince Charming around the dance floor and show off my beautiful husband to be."

"Ah, why the hell not. Yeah," he nods, a huge grin forming on his face. "Yes I'll dance the New Year in with you."


	29. Chapter 29

"Are you sure it looks okay?" Molly asks Kurt, tugging nervously at the waistband of her dress. He has been holed up in her room for the last hour dressing her in the outfit they had chosen earlier in the day. Kurt had to admit he rather enjoyed shopping with her and Marie, her mom. It was quite fun to pay no heed to price tags, and when Molly had spotted the perfect dress but was upset that it didn't have a sash, Kurt had quickly offered to buy some material and make her one. 

"You look lovely," Kurt says as they walk along the hallway toward the staircase. "You'll look like an absolute doll dancing the waltz. Whereas I'll just look clumsy and awkward."

"No you won't," she smiles. "Besides, at least you have someone to dance with. If I'm lucky my dad might give me a quick twirl. Oh my gosh!" she squeals when the arrive at the top of the large, sweeping, elegant staircase. "Your beau is waiting for you Kurt, and he looks so handsome!"

"My beau." He smiles down at Blaine, standing looking almost nervous as he tugs on the sleeves of his tux jacket. He doesn't notice Kurt, too busy watching the never ending stream of ladies in their elegant ball gowns making their way down the stairs. 

"This reminds me of Titanic," Molly gushes next to him. "When Jack waits for Rose."

"And look who's waiting for you," Kurt says with a nod toward where Jules stands biting his lip and smiling up at them. "I think you'll be getting that dance after all. Have fun," he says with a wink as she gasps and hurries down the stairs. Her descent causes Blaine to look up then, beaming with pride as Kurt walks slowly toward him, looking elegant in a classic white tie and tails. 

"You look....radiant," Blaine says, voice low as he bends to kiss Kurt's hand. "Divine."

"Thank you," Kurt smiles bashfully, perilously close to giggling and jumping up and down on the spot. "You look beautiful as ever. You know I like you in a tux."

"I think last night, after the concert reminded me of that," Blaine says as they both grin at the memory. "Well, Cinderella, shall we go to the ball?"

"Uh-uh," Kurt says, rearranging their arms so Blaine's is linked through his. "You're the girl, remember?"

"I've a feeling you won't let me forget it," he laughs as they make their way outside for the short walk to the Hofburg Palace. 

"This will be one of those nights that will stay with me forever," Kurt sighs happily once they're inside the palace. "It is so romantic."

"It is rather," Blaine agrees. "But right now I have to go play. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"And I will be fine in your absence," Kurt says, kissing his cheek softly. "Because sitting here gives me a great view of you playing. So go." 

The orchestra performs as the debutantes dance, meaning Kurt can relax and watch Blaine pouring his heart and soul into his music. After, they are seated for dinner- a sumptuous four course feast which they both enjoy immensely. The dancing starts, but they are content to watch a while, and listen to the soprano singing until Kurt stands. "May I have the honor?" he smiles, offering his hand to Blaine.

"Absolutely." He lets himself be led to the dance floor, and they start to twirl in time to the music, following the other couples around the floor. "One two three, one two three, one two three....I'll get the hang of it," Blaine smiles. "I don't want to let you down."

"You wouldn't. You're doing really well," Kurt smiles. "You do know we have to dance with all the ladies on our table, right?"

"What?" Blaine stumbles slightly but rights himself quickly. "I can't lead!"

"You're gonna have to," Kurt laughs. 

They spend the next few dances apart, until Blaine insists he has to sit down to stop the room from spinning. "You're the first same sex couple to dance together at Le Grand Bal," Ken tells him. "Pretty amazing if you ask me."

"Really? I'll bet half the guys in this room are probably gay," Blaine laughs, "or a good third, anyway."

"But not as proud of their partners as you two are, maybe." He smiles and pats his hand. "Come on my friend, midnight approaches. Let's go."

Kurt and Gill finish their dance together and all the assembled guests gather to count the New Year in. "So," Blaine says as he slides their fingers together.

"So," Kurt grins in return.

"This is it. This is the year we become husbands."

"I know. Oh Blaine....I can't wait."

"I think you should be aware that two things are about to happen," Blaine rushes out as the crowd start counting down from ten. "I'm going to kiss you like crazy, right in front of this crowd and I don't care who's looking on, and I'm also going to cry." 

"Here goes then," Kurt grins. "Three...two...one." 

The crowd erupts, and the fireworks outside are booming but Blaine's hands are on Kurt's face, their lips moving together as Kurt clutches him tightly. They deepen the kiss, Blaine seeing his promise through and opening his mouth wider, prompting Kurt to do the same as their tongues meet. They kiss and they kiss, paying no heed to the people who jostle about them, all moving to get into position for the Blue Danube Waltz. A firm tap to Kurt's shoulder, followed by another, and another, eventually makes him pull back, breathless with exhilaration as he stares into Blaine's eyes. 

"You...uh...you're about to get danced all over," Molly giggles. 

"Huh?" he replies, eyes still trained on Blaine. "Oh...right. Yes. Dancing. Okay. May I?" he whispers, offering Blaine his hand once more. 

"You may."

Blaine seems just as dazed as Kurt, and hastily wipes at his tears before they assume their positions and the music starts. The dance comes easier this time and not a word is spoken between the pair as they twirl around in perfect time, eyes trained on each other constantly. 

"I need you," Blaine whispers, kissing him fiercely when the music stops. 

Nodding his consent, Kurt takes Blaine's hand and leads him from the room, down the steps of the palace and along the road to the hotel. Kurt stops them outside, tugging Blaine closer by the lapels of his jacket to kiss him again, stumbling slightly as he presses their bodies closer together. "As beautiful as you look in a tux, I need you out of it," he smiles against Blaine's mouth before leading him into the hotel. They smile politely at the few guests mingling about but move up to their room quickly, not even bothering with the light when they step inside, the fireworks going off across the city and the twinkling lights bathing the room in a soft amber glow. 

Their kissing becomes deeper, more intimate behind closed doors, both shrugging their jackets from their shoulders and letting them land wherever they happen to fall. Blaine lowers Kurt carefully onto the bed, smiling softly as he scoots up to rest against the pillows. They undress each other slowly, teasingly but eventually allowing their hands and mouths free roam as they taste and take. Straddling Kurt's stomach, Blaine takes the lube from him, stretching himself as Kurt watches before beckoning for him to come closer for kisses. The feeling of Blaine gasping into his mouth as he pleasures himself is deeply erotic, and Kurt has to hold tight to Blaine's hair to keep from finishing himself there and then, but eventually Blaine sinks slowly down, encasing him in warmth until he's settled flush against him.

They move together, Blaine rising and falling as Kurt thrusts up to meet him every time until they're both panting hard with the exertion, Blaine's hair now curly and wild, falling across his forehead when he leans down to capture Kurt's lips, gasping at the change of angle and sucking hard on his tongue. They break apart, Blaine sitting once more as Kurt wraps a hand around his cock and he gives himself over to wave upon wave of pleasure, crying out softly as streaks of white decorate Kurt's stomach and he follows, thrusting upward hard as he pulses inside a now exhausted Blaine who collapses hard onto his chest. They are silent, just breathing together for the longest time with Blaine nuzzled into the sweaty crook of Kurt's neck and feeling like he could stay there forever, but eventually the sticky wetness becomes too much for both of them and they move, cleaning up quickly in the bathroom before throwing the comforter to the floor and crawling under the covers. 

"I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do right now, in this moment," Kurt whispers as they cuddle close. "My old man," he sighs happily, kissing into his hair. "Soon to be husband."

"I love you too, gorgeous boy," Blaine smiles against his chest. "Happy New Year." 

*

One month later. 

"BLAAAAAAAAINE!" Kurt yells as he crashes through the door of the apartment. "BLAINE! BLAINE!"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Blaine says, emerging from the bathroom and buttoning his fly. "What is it? What's up?"

"I got it! I got the lead in our final production! Well, one of the leads...but I did it, Blaine! I did it!"

Blaine laughs, running to sweep him into his arms. "Chorus Line?"

"Yes! One of my favorites too!"

"That's wonderful," Blaine smiles, hugging him tight. "What part?" 

"Mike...so I get a solo number, and lines. Lots of lines. And it's not the gay one, which I really wanted to avoid and there's gonna be agents there and directors and..."

"And you're gonna be fucking amazing!" Blaine shouts, giddy with his fiancé's success. "And I'll be there...along with everyone else of course, but I'll be there, cheering and applauding you every step of the way." 

Kurt laughs loudly, letting Blaine twirl him around as he squeals. "I'm so happy!"

"You're going to be stupid busy, you realize that?" Blaine warns. "The wedding, graduation, your showcase and now this..."

"I know, but it will all culminate in our perfect wedding followed by a completely relaxing honeymoon...so... It'll be a hard few months to come but the end results will be worth it, I hope."

"They will. I really hope good things come from this for you, Kurt."

Blaine is right, and the next few months move swiftly, with Kurt spending hours rehearsing for both Chorus Line and his own Showcase, for which he must perform an excerpt from Shakespeare, a contemporary piece, a solo song and dance number as well as taking part in the group finale. On top of this, he is hell bent determined to make not only his and Blaine's wedding outfits, but all the groomsmen, the two maids of honor and the best men. Their second bedroom resembles a haberdashery shop with bolts of fabric, dummies, tape measures and scissors dotted about perilously while Blaine stands, arms outstretched patiently. 

"You can't have grown," Kurt mutters angrily. "I mean for fucks sake, what man of thirty six grows?"

"Maybe I grew around my middle a bit?" Blaine offers nervously. "I mean, we've been surviving on quite a bit of takeout recently."

"Maybe...." Kurt muses as he repins one sleeve. "Shouldn't give you longer arms though. Can you get running again? Just in case? I mean, it won't do you any harm, will it?"

"No Kurt."

"Am I being obnoxiously rude?" 

"Yes Kurt."

He looks up, pins between his teeth as he holds the material tightly in his hands. "Sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Blaine laughs. "I was expecting full on Bridezilla from you for the final month anyway. So this is tame."

"I'm so stressed you wouldn't believe," he says as he works quickly to secure the longer sleeve before moving to the other side. "And tomorrow is just going to be abominable."

"We just have to be firm with everyone," Blaine says. "They're here for their fitting, and while I'm grateful everyone has made the effort to come, we also need to remind them that they can't be messing about while you're trying to work. Ugh. I feel so useless."

Kurt looks up, intrigued. "Why?"

"Because you're doing everything and I'm doing nothing." 

"You're keeping me grounded, keeping me sane," he smiles. "And the music and the honeymoon and you're liaising with Cooper and the cake and the flowers..."

"Wait, what?"

"The cake and the flowers."

"Who?"

"You. You're sorting the cake and the flowers," Kurt says again, an indulgent smile on his face.

"Um..."

"No." Kurt says, eyes turning dark as he stops kneeling on the floor and stands to face him, both being an equal height with Blaine standing on a small footstool. "No, Blaine, you did not." 

"It's okay," he says hastily. "We have time."

"A month!" Kurt yells. "We have a month, during which you have four recitals, and I have a week's run of a show, my showcase AND graduation. ONE FUCKING MONTH!" 

"Jeez! Okay, okay," Blaine backs out the door, hands held high. "I'll get on it."

"Give me back your jacket!"

"Sorry." He hurls the jacket back to Kurt and retreats to the living room, calling Wes immediately.

"Hey Kathy, is Wes there?"

"No, he's gone to Seb's. Listen, Blaine, while you've got five seconds....um... I'm moving in with Wes."

"About time."

"Meaning you won't have a tenant."

"Okay."

"That's it?" Kathy asks incredulously. "That's all you've got to say?"

"Yes," Blaine says with a sigh. "I'll worry about getting another tenant after the wedding. Just...well...look, you paid into my account last week. Let's just leave it there. Move whenever you want."

"Oh Blaine I couldn't do that. I'll give you the proper month's notice and..."

"Kathy, please. We're going to be in each other's lives forever. I think we know each other well enough now to dispense with formalities- in fact you know all my darkest secrets already. Please stop paying me rent, it doesn't seem right."

"I did...Wes did talk to me, yes," she says quietly. 

"Good. I told him to."

"I know. And I'm overwhelmed that you trust me enough with that, so thank you. Though I'd still like to know what was in that box Kurt had shipped to Wes all those years ago."

"No, you would not," he laughs. "Look, can you have Wes call me as soon as he's back? I've fucked up majorly, and I need his...I don't know...help, advice? Though there's not much he can do on a practical level but...ugh. Just have him call me."

"What have you done?"

"It's more what I haven't done.... Like... Arranged the cake or flowers."

"Blaine!"

"I know." 

"Leave it with me."

"What?"

"Leave it with me. I'll call your mom and see if she could make the cake if I decorate it. I took evening classes in sugarcraft and cake decorating. I did loads of wedding cakes. And Teresa did flower arranging. If you give me your sister-in-laws number I can see if she can order the flowers in then Teresa can sort the bouquets for the girls and the table arrangements when she arrives in LA."

"Seriously, is that what the Brits do for fun?"

"Do you want me to help you or not?" 

"Yes! Yes. Sorry. Thank you."

"Look, I'll see you tomorrow and we can talk through designs and stuff, in the meantime email me anything else I need, okay?" 

"Kathy?"

"Yes?"

"I am eternally indebted to you."

"Too damn right you are," she laughs. "Go tell Kurt the crisis is averted and I'll see you tomorrow." 

Kurt is slightly placated, though Blaine can tell he is still on edge and so wisely gives him a wide berth, opting to spend his evening on Skype with a very shrill Rachel as they work through potential song choices for the reception. The next day starts bright and early with both sets of parents on their doorstep.

"Kurt darling, Carole and I are going to make the cake," Sara says as she bustles into the apartment. "Not right now, obviously, but we need to know any ideas you have."

Blaine butts in "I have ideas."

"Very funny darling. So, Kurt."

"No..." Kurt pauses, noticing the look of hurt and bewilderment on Blaine's face. "Blaine has ideas, and good ones. I think we should hear him out. I keep saying this, but it's our wedding, not just mine. I know can be quite demanding and specific, and it's nice that everyone is prepared to indulge me- because quite frankly I deserve to be indulged- but this day is about both of us."

Their eyes meet, and though they are seated on opposite couches, with four adults between them, the look of love and longing in their eyes is unmistakable as shy smiles play on both their faces. 

"Do we get to hear these ideas then?" Carole asks, looking between the both. "Blaine? Kurt?"

"Huh?" Blaine stutters into life "Oh, right. Yes. Well... Kurt....I know how much you love cupcakes...and I wondered if instead of a traditional cake we just have a huge tower of cupcakes?"

"Yes." Kurt agrees immediately. "A tower of cupcakes. Yes."

"Well that was easy," Sara laughs. "When Kathy arrives we can discuss the decorations but for now I'm guessing Kurt wants to get these fittings underway. Mike, hurry along with Kurt now...and behave." 

"Hey dad," Blaine calls after him as he shuffles down the hall. "You okay?"

"Oh I'm fine," Mike says with a small smile. "Just fine."

"Sure?"

"A little under the weather, that's all," he says, patting Blaine's hand. "But excited for the wedding. Now, let's get this suit fitted." 

The day becomes louder with the arrival of Wes, Kathy, Sebastian and Joe, followed shortly after by Rachel, Finn, Santana, Nick and Jeff. Blaine keeps meaning to speak with his dad again, but with all the hustle and bustle, plus talking with Kathy about the cake and sending emails to Teresa and Claire about the flowers, it never quite manages to happen. 

"Okay, girls.... You're up next!" Kurt calls out, and is taken aback when Blaine walks in instead. "What are you doing in here? I thought you were ordering pizza?"

"I needed to kiss you," he says simply, taking the dress from Kurt's hands and placing it carefully on the table. "This is all wonderful and fun and busy and frantic...but I don't want us to lose sight of each other. I need to hold you in my arms, I need to feel your lips on mine and I need to tell you how much I love you." 

Kurt smiles, his whole face lighting up as his arms come to rest loosely over Blaine's shoulders. "I think that sounds pretty perfect and adorable to me," he says, nudging their noses together. "I love you too."

Blaine chuckles. "I haven't told you how much yet." 

"I know how much. But how about you show me later tonight when all these goons have left?"

"You've just called all our closest family and friends goons," Blaine laughs softly. "But yes, that sounds perfect. I think we'll be needing a relaxing soak in the tub."

He leans in, brushing his lips over Kurt's in a featherlight touch which quickly deepens as they sigh into one another's mouths, teasing with their tongues and gripping each other tightly.

"I might have known," Santana drawls as her and Rachel walk into the room. "Put each other down. Jeez."

"Blaine, kindly leave the room so Santana and I can undress."

"Too many jokes," Blaine smiles as he backs away from Kurt reluctantly, blowing a him a kiss. "Too many jokes." 

The day is exhausting, culminating in everyone eating takeout pizza courtesy of the two grooms, and goodbyes are bid with the promise to see each other for the following weekends bachelor party. Kurt hurries back to his room to continue sewing while Blaine shuts himself away with his piano to attend to his neglected advertising work, and it is gone midnight when they finally find themselves in the tub together, Kurt lying back happily against Blaine's chest as they relax. 

"I'm almost frightened to say it, but I think the outfits are pretty much done," Kurt says proudly. "You wanna see?"

"Tomorrow, if that's okay," Blaine says, tightening his legs possessively around Kurt's waist. "Tonight you're mine."

Kurt grins, leaning his head back onto Blaine's shoulder. "I like the sound of that."

"I don't want to see your outfit though. I know you've seen mine- that's unavoidable- but I'd like to wait and see yours on the day, and just hope I don't rip it right off you there and then."

"There will be no ripping involved, thank you," Kurt says primly. "Only careful unbuttoning and lint rolling before hanging neatly."

"You're expecting me to lint roller your jacket on our wedding night? Yeah, cause that's gonna happen."

They laugh together before Blaine leans to kiss at Kurt's neck. "Are you tired?"

"Yes, to the depths of my bones. But I'm not too tired for you." 

"Excited?"

"Not yet," Kurt says, looking down, "but if you keep kissing my neck like that..."

"I was talking about the wedding."

"I knew that," Kurt laughs, "and yes. Very. How about you, Mr. Anderson-Hummel to be?"

"Kuuuurt," Blaine moans, letting his head fall forward in despair.

"I said it wrong again, didn't I?"

"Do you want to just change it? You say it that way around all the time. Is it a not so subtle hint that I'm missing?"

"No! No." Kurt turns, the water sloshing over the tub until he settles his chin on Blaine's chest and lets his arms circle his waist. "Everytime I say it I then think to myself 'that doesn't sound as beautiful as it ought,' and that's why. Because Hummel-Anderson sounds better."

"If you're sure." Blaine looks down at him, eyes searching for any doubt or hesitation but he finds none. He laughs when Kurt pokes his tongue out to circle lazily around one nipple. "You're a little devil." 

"Horny," he replies, as if that explains everything. 

By the time Kurt finds himself bent over, gripping the edge of the bath tub as Blaine pushes into him, the horniness has moved to sheer want and desperation as he loudly yells for more. Blaine drives deeper and harder as Kurt begs and begs for Blaine to fill him, which he does, fingers leaving bruises in their wake and Blaine falling hard over Kurt's back, dropping sloppy and erratic kisses wherever he can reach. 

"Bed," he groans. "I'm too old for all these shenanigans. I need to sleep." 

"I liked that," Kurt says, standing upright and falling into Blaine's embrace. 

"Well that's good," Blaine laughs loudly, kissing his cheek. "C'mon, we're both too tired to make any sense anymore." 

They crawl into bed, Blaine spooning himself behind Kurt, kissing his shoulder as they lie in the dark. "Kurt?" he whispers.

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember, when you were small, what it felt like to lie in bed and wait for Santa?"

"Yeah," Kurt smiles in the black, chuckling quietly at the memory.

"I feel like that now. Those excitable bubbles that fizz in my tummy, the bright twinkling stars that appear whenever I close my eyes...all of that."

"You are beyond cute," Kurt says, turning to face him, grinning at Blaine's face beaming in the moonlight. 

"Only this time something even more unimaginable and excitable is taking place."

"Something more exciting than an old man climbing down your chimney in the middle of the night?" Kurt teases, wrinkling his nose. "Yeah, you're right," he says, turning onto his back for Blaine to rest on his chest. "Too tired to make any sense."


	30. Chapter 30

"I remember," Kurt muses as they dress for their bachelor party, "some time in the dim and distant past- you bent me over the side of the tub and fucked me hard. It was everything I needed and more. In fact, I still have the reminders," he smiles down at his hips, still displaying faint bruises from Blaine's fingers before he pulls his jeans on to cover them.

"That was a week ago," Blaine replies, waiting patiently in front of the mirror for Kurt to come fasten his bow tie. 

"Which is a long time for us," Kurt points out.

"You've been locked away in a rehearsal studio all week," Blaine tells him. "In fact, Joe has seen more of your butt than I have, these last few days."

"Very funny."

Blaine's eyes go wide as Kurt approaches the mirror. "Anyway, you have no hope of getting anything when you wear jeans that tight. How am I supposed to get my hands down there?"

Kurt says nothing, merely raises one eyebrow at their reflections as he leans over Blaine's shoulder to tie the bow tie. 

"Wait....are the jeans for my benefit, or the stripper?"

"Yours," Kurt laughs, kissing his cheek. "Now stop being jealous." 

Their family and friends all gather for dinner at the Park Hyatt, taking over an entire function room, and Blaine and Kurt are seated at opposite ends of the long table, much to their displeasure. 

"You'll be spending the rest of your lives together," Rachel points out as she sits on Kurt's left. "What's the point in sulking about one meal?"

"Because I can't get enough of him," Kurt explains. "The more time I spend with him the more I want to be with him."

Down at the other end of the table, Wes pats Blaine's hand sympathetically. "Just switch if you want. I won't be offended. Tell Rachel or Burt to move down here."

"Honestly, you two are getting worse instead of better," Seb says with a shake of his head. "I thought the novelty of your partner was supposed wear off after a while. Not that I'd know," he concedes with a small smile. "Though I can tell you the appeal of a one nighter is significantly lessened the morning after." 

"I've barely seen him recently," Blaine tells them. "Everything is so busy. I just... I don't know, when we're away from one another we make the extra effort to be in contact as much as we can but like this...both in the same apartment but like ships that pass in the night...I just find myself needing him, craving him more and more."

"That's nice darling," Sara chirps from the other side of Sebastian.

"Why are you listening?" Blaine moans, though he can't help but smile. 

"Because you're loud," she smiles back. "Now. Are we all ordered? Does everyone have a drink?"

"I think so," Wes nods.

"Okay everyone," Mike calls, standing and tapping his spoon against the glass. "I'd just like to say thank you to everyone for coming," he says weakly, gripping the edge of the table hard for support. "I'd also like to propose a toast, to Kurt and Blaine's happiness. Three weeks today we'll be raising a glass to them as husbands, and I couldn't be more pleased. So... To Kurt and Blaine. Enjoy the stripper," he laughs, as everyone raises their glasses. 

He sinks wearily back into his chair and Blaine and Cooper are by his side in an instant. "Hey dad, you okay?"

"I'm fine, Blaine. Just fine. Honestly."

"I can take you back to the hotel if you want?" Cooper offers. 

"Absolutely not," he says firmly. "I'm here to enjoy my son's bachelor party, and I fully intend to watch the stripper."

"You do know it's not a girl, right?" Blaine checks, which makes Mike roar. 

"I'd be more than a little alarmed if it was," he says, still laughing. "Now, go enjoy the meal. Both of you." 

They back away from his chair reluctantly and take their places, though Blaine notices the way in which his mom discreetly squeezes his dad's hand and offers a small smile which is full of concern. Two hours later the group splits, with all the guys plus Santana and Rachel heading to a club downtown where a private room has been hired, and everyone else going back to the hotel. Sara embarrasses both the groom's nicely by telling them to keep their hands in their laps at all times, and Carole- slightly the worse for wear- reminds them to report back on the size of the strippers manhood before collapsing into raucous giggles. 

"You two didn't have to come, you know," Kurt tells Burt and Mike as they walk along the road. "I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I feel about you watching this."

"Why? How bad is it gonna be?" Burt asks, alarmed.

"I don't know, you'd better ask Joe. He organized the whole thing." 

They find out the second they enter the club and are led upstairs. Two waitresses greet them, tying bibs around their necks and leading them both to two chairs on the raised stage. A lot more friends are gathered here, college friends of Kurt's, along with bewildered looking members of the Chicago Symphony. The music starts to pound and two men arrive on stage dressed in tiny thongs, their well oiled chests glinting under the lights. 

"Sweet!" Sebastian cries happily as one of the men straddle Kurt. "Joe, when I get married, please organize my bachelor party! On second thoughts, just organize me a party, no need for the wedding." 

"Oh my god, Blaine is going to kill you," Wes tells Joe as he sees Blaine's eyes flashing in anger when the model starts to pour a variety of liquor down Kurt's throat, who is having his head held back by the other man and is seemingly loving every second. Blaine starts out of his chair, but is quickly restrained when it is his turn, and he is left feeling giddy with the amount of alcohol and the speed of consumption. Looking to Kurt, he can see him smiling, wiping at dribbles of vodka on his chin as he takes in the sight of Blaine undoing his bow tie and throwing it down to Cooper. 

"What?" he calls across the stage to Kurt as he unbuttons the top of his shirt. 

"Nothing," he replies airily. 

"I'm hot," he explains.

"I'd noticed." 

"Okay! Time for some fun with these bachelor boys!" the hostess calls. The two models return, tugging Kurt and Blaine from their chairs and sitting down, spraying a line of whipped cream down their chests and over the front of their thongs before gesturing to the boys to start eating. 

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Kurt laughs in disbelief. Taking the can of cream, he saunters over to Blaine, ignoring the jibes from his disappointed friends and he unbuttons the front of Blaine's shirt.

"I haven't had enough to drink for this," Blaine moans in embarrassment.

"Oh. Well maybe I'll just go eat that cream after all," Kurt teases, starting to back away. 

"Don't you dare," Blaine growls, fisitng the front of Kurt's shirt and crashing their lips together. The show becomes all about their display after that as Kurt sprays a line of cream and proceeds to lick it excruciatingly slowly from Blaine's chest. 

"Fuck it. I'm not letting this go to waste," Sebastian says, and climbs on the stage to the cheers of his drunken friends where he proceeds to lick both the models clean while Kurt and Blaine make out in the corner. 

"Take me home," Kurt gasps into Blaine's mouth. "Leave everyone here to get drunk at our expense and just...take me home."

"No way!" he laughs darkly. "You wanted a stripper for your bachelor party, and a stripper you shall have." They are led back to their chairs, now vacated and cleaned, and the lights change. Two firemen emerge as the crowd shouts and cheers and Kurt swallows nervously. 

*

"Hey, Coop." Cooper turns to find Sebastian, still with a small remnant of cream at the corner of his mouth. 

"Hey."

"Your dad isn't feeling too good. I'm gonna take him back, okay?"

"What? No. No, I'll take him back. You stay." Glancing over to the bar, Copper can see his dad sitting on a chair looking pale as Burt crouches at the side and holds a glass out to him. "Was it them?"

"No, no. He was laughing hysterically at their behavior, but when I came off the stage he said he felt dizzy. Look Cooper, you stay. You've flown all the way from LA for your brothers party. I don't mind, honestly."

"But you wanted to see the stripper," Cooper says, nodding to where the two firemen are now devoid of jackets and thrusting their groins in Kurt's face. 

"There will be other strippers, Cooper, believe me." 

"Very nice," Kurt comments up on the stage as a pert butt is wiggled inches from his face. "But he's better," he says, reaching across to find Blaine's hand. 

"Same," Blaine says, turning his head to look across to Kurt with a grin and ignoring the thrusting crotch of the other stripper. "You can shake it all you want sunshine, but you'll never beat my man."

"I'd rather watch you anyday," Kurt says, licking his lips as he looks Blaine up and down. The strippers finish, much to both their delight and they jump down from the stage and head to the bar, holding hands and laughing with one another.

"Only you two could have two hot guys spread out on a platter before you and you just ignore them and talk to each other," Joe laughs as he claps an arm around them both. "Come on, let's get London drunk again."

"No, no, no," Blaine says swiftly. "No way. That was a one off. I was completely wasted."

"Oh come on old man, it'll be fun," Kurt grins as he hands him a bright blue shot. 

"What are body shots?" Burt asks Wes an hour later as a very drunken Kurt announces his intention to partake in the activity.

"Um...you don't wanna know," Wes smiles. "And you also probably don't want to see your son either doing them or having them done to him. It's...kinda...sexual," he whispers, blushing furiously. "Or it is with them, anyway." 

"And that isn't?" Burt nods to the bar, where disgruntled staff stand behind the counter while Blaine and Kurt, both now shirtless, kneel on the top and make out heatedly.

"Oh god. Burt, I am so sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he laughs, clapping Wes on the back. "But I am going to head back to the hotel. I don't think Kurt will appreciate waking up tomorrow and realizing I witnessed this kind of behavior." 

Cooper goes too, declaring he simply cannot watch his baby brother trying to fornicate on top of a bar with a nearly naked twenty one year old. But the rest of their assembled friends seem to appreciate every second until suddenly Kurt is hauled back up to the stage and tied to a chair. 

"What the...? Where's my Blaine?" he cries, tugging on the restraints. "I want my Blaine!"

"Here's your Blaine," Joe smirks as Blaine arrives on stage, dancing outlandishly to 'you can leave your hat on.' 

"Oh my god! Fucking hell!" Kurt cries, laughing loudly as Blaine gyrates around him, wearing only his shirt, a fireman helmet and a pair of briefs. His eyes bulge when Blaine straddles him, pulling the helmet off before unbuttoning his shirt slowly and letting it fall to the floor. "Kiss me, mister stripper!" Kurt calls over the music. "Please! I'm begging. I'll do anything, anything you want but please kiss me!" 

Blaine obliges, the rest of the guests returning to dancing and drinking once they realize they're too busy making out to carry on with the show. "Oh god, kiss me again!" Kurt cries desperately. "And untie me so I can touch you."

"No! I can't get hard here!" Blaine laughs. 

"Untie me and meet me in the bathroom," Kurt tries, raising one eyebrow to make his intention clear. He sighs happily when the tie- Kurt thinks it might be Ken's- falls to the floor, and he hops from the stage and sprints to the bathroom before Blaine gathers his clothes and follows as nonchalantly as he can. "I won't last long...fuck!" Kurt whispers as Blaine kicks the cubicle door shut then simultaneously bites at his neck and unbuttons his ridiculously tight jeans. 

"Me neither," he gasps when Kurt's hand finds his cock, stroking in the way only he knows how, guaranteeing Blaine will fall apart in seconds. "Jesus fuck!" Blaine moans, before sucking roughly at the skin under Kurt's jaw. 

"Well I guess we've found the groom's," Joe's voice laughs from the other side of the cubicle, and Wes' voice can be heard urging him to retreat. 

"Get out," Blaine growls, and then all goes silent once more. The pair kiss heatedly as they jerk each other frantically until suddenly Kurt's fingers dig hard into Blaine's shoulder and he comes, groaning in pleasure when Blaine brings his hand to his mouth and licks it clean. 

"I'm gonna fuck you when we get home," Kurt whispers in Blaine's ear as he continues to pump his cock. "I haven't decided how yet. I might bend you over, or I might let you ride me. I might get you on all fours so I can watch my cock sliding in and out of your beautiful, tight little ass as I make you scream and beg for more."

"Fuck.... Coming...." Blaine moans as he spills onto Kurt's hand, head thumping back against the wall of the cubicle as he breathes hard. "Jesus Christ," he pants. "I can't believe we just got each other off in a bathroom stall."

"I know," Kurt laughs. "But I couldn't have waited any longer."

"I'll hold you to that, you know," Blaine grins as he pulls his pants on. "That promise of when we get home."

Kurt crowds him back against the wall, tucking him back into his underwear and zipping his fly. "Please do," he whispers before leaning down to kiss him tenderly. "Please, please do." 

They return to the party- everyone pretending like they don't know what's been going on- and they dance happily with various friends throughout the night. Blaine notices Sebastian's absence eventually, and Wes fills him in, but Sebastian returns to the party and somehow still manages to leave with a stripper. Blaine's orchestra colleagues party hard, but not nearly as hard as Kurt and Blaine themselves, who finally stagger through the door of their apartment at four in the morning. 

"Oh my god I'm exhausted," Kurt moans as he throws his keys in the bowl on the hall table. 

Blaine kicks his shoes off and winds his arms around Kurt's waist. "Nonononono. You promised."

"I did," he nods, "and I intend to make good on that promise right now." 

They are sloppy, messy, and completely perfectly imperfect as they giggle, smile and moan their way onto the floor for Kurt to drive his cock hard into Blaine's ass, still right there in the hallway. They lie on the hardwood floor together after, contemplating cleaning up but never actually doing so. Kurt crawls his way into the bedroom, Blaine following wearily on very wobbly legs, where they both collapse happily under the covers and sleep until noon the next day. 

"I don't feel too bad," Kurt says in awe as they lie on their fronts with their heads turned facing one another. "Why don't I feel too bad?"

Blaine chuckles "Don't question it, just accept it for what it is and move on. Did you have fun?"

"Heaps," Kurt smiles. "The stripper turned out to be pretty awesome. You were right to be worried," he grins. "I can't work out why I'm not flailing around like a dying fish. My head doesn't even hurt. Do you feel okay?"

"Yes, but then I usually do anyway. It's the whiskey that gives me a hangover."

"Is that why you drink it when you're depressed? To punish yourself?"

"Yeah," he admits softly with a small smile. 

"I'm glad you haven't felt the need to do that in so long." Reaching a hand across, Kurt runs his fingers over Blaine's stubbly cheek. 

"It's a bit hard to be depressed when you're about to marry your very best friend," Blaine replies honestly. "We have so much fun together. I think that's what I'd say, if anyone were to ask what it's like, being with you. I'd say it's fun."

"Think we'll have this much fun when we're married?" Kurt asks him. "Will you still want to be getting drunk and dancing outlandishly with me? Will we still have scrabble tournaments for two? Will we still play the piano and sing ridiculously silly songs together?" 

"I hope so," Blaine laughs.

"Me too. I never want us to become complacent with one another," Kurt says as he snuggles closer. "You're worth too much to me for that."

"Hmm, same," Blaine smiles, closing the small gap between them and kissing his lips. "I think we both reek of stale alcohol."

"And yet no hangover," Kurt says again, still in wide-eyed wonderment. "Whatever it was I was drinking must have agreed with me. Pity I can't remember."

"I told you, accept it and move on. Don't jinx it. Do you want some coffee?"

"I'm going to say yes," Kurt smiles. "Usually I'm too busy wailing and sobbing, clutching my stomach as I heave into the toilet. But today, yes."

"Delightful," Blaine laughs, rolling from the bed. "I'll be back in a... What the hell is this?" he cries as he steps into the hallway. "Oh! Kurt....if you're not feeling too bad, would you mind clearing up the jizz in the hallway? It's not very welcoming for visitors." 

The following weekend sees Kurt take to the stage along with his graduating classmates for their production of Chorus Line. Blaine sits proudly between both sets of parents, happy that his dad seems much better as they all cheer for Kurt. They mingle in the bar afterwards- where Joe introduces Blaine to his family before he is snatched away to meet with two directors who try to persuade him to move into theatre instead of films. Kurt stands by Blaine's side, gripping his hand tightly and waiting, but nobody approaches him. Blaine knows it sits with him all week. He doesn't cry, doesn't mention it at all other than to tell him that he had garnered a favorable review in the Stage, but he clams up when Blaine starts to enthuse, telling him he's too busy focusing on his showcase to become distracted by a good report. Their time together is sparse, limited to sleeping in each other's arms and then a quick kiss goodbye in the early morning light. Blaine has a full week of performances meaning he is in the Symphony Hall all day, and Kurt is locked away at college, rehearsing, perfecting, worrying, practising and worrying some more. The day of the showcase dawns, and Blaine wakes, stretching and rolling onto his side to find Kurt staring at the ceiling. 

"Hey. How long have you been awake for? It's not even six."

"Four thirty," he says monotonously, still staring at the paint work. 

"You should have woken me."

"Why? What good would it have done? There's nothing you can do." 

"I can be here for you. I can hold you in my arms and love you," Blaine says quietly. He reaches a tentative hand out to caress Kurt's cheek, sighing when he sees his chin start to tremble. "Come here."

And Kurt goes, falling into Blaine's arms, letting his walls crash down, releasing all the pent up emotion and frustration of the past few days as he cries hard, clutching at Blaine's pajama top until it is soaked with his tears, and Blaine just holds. His strong arms pull Kurt close, hands rubbing continuously over his back as he trembles and sobs. 

"It's not fair," he cries over and over. "It's not fair. I want to be that one, Blaine. I want to be the one who has all the offers on the table, who has the directors beating down my door. I've worked so hard for so many years and I want my chance to shine. I don't care, right now, how...how...childish, and petulant I sound. I want, I want, I want!"

"It's okay, Kurt. Shhh, it's okay. Let it all out. Say whatever you want, cry, yell, scream and cry some more. No one is judging you, it's only me here." 

"I want people to notice me! I want people to want to hand over their hard earned cash to watch me perform. I want people to see my name in lights and know that whatever show I'm in must be amazing because I'm in it. And...and...and it's not like that at all," he breaks, sobbing some more and swiping at his nose. "You...you...you get to live your dream, and I don't begrudge you that at all, I don't want you to think that, but I'm just standing idly by and waiting, waiting for someone to give me a shot. When is it my turn, Blaine? When?"

"Tonight, my gorgeous boy. Tonight. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take some time to just be, to calm ourselves and regroup. Then you're gonna shower while I fix breakfast. After that, you and I are shutting ourselves in that music room and not emerging until you are completely satisfied with your songs. And then we move onto your Shakespeare, and so on and so on. Later this afternoon I will drive you to the theatre before I take my seat to watch you give the performance of a lifetime. And after, it will be my turn to stand idle while agents, directors and writers galore fawn over you and I can very smugly tell you I told you so." 

He smiles through his tears, letting out a small hiccuping sob as he sits and wipes at his eyes. "Yes?" Blaine asks him, and he nods. "Good." Blaine sits too, cradling him close again and kissing into his hair. "Don't keep it all inside, Kurt. I know you feel like you have to put on a front for everyone, that's just the way you are and I get that. But not with me, please. Never with me. Be yourself. I promise to never judge you or think badly of you. We know each other better than anyone else does. We're soul mates and in one week and one day, husbands." 

"I love you so much," Kurt cries into his neck. "You're like...beyond perfect."

"For you maybe, as you are for me."

"One week and one day."

"Yes," Blaine smiles at the very thought. "But we can't let that distract us now. Let's get through today then it's a straight road to graduation and that flight to LA." He feels Kurt snuffling into his neck, his breathing now calmer and his tears having subsided to the occasional small sob. "Come on," he says, tugging him back down to the pillows before he takes his pajama top off and throws it to one side, "here," tapping his chest, he encourages Kurt to rest his head there.

"Well this is weird," he smiles.

"I think we're quite good at switching," Blaine chuckles, putting an arm about Kurt's shoulders. "Let me hold you for a while and then I'll get breakfast. Remember this though," he says softly. "Whatever happens tonight, I love you always." 

*

Kurt does indeed excel that night. He only has Blaine in the audience this time, having convinced all the parents to take this weekend to rest before the mayhem to come. It makes no difference though, in fact if anything it helps relax him, as he goes out there and feels like he's performing solely, uniquely for Blaine. He is positively dizzy when he arrives him the bar, face scrubbed and shining, grinning broadly when Blaine hands him a large bunch of flowers. 

"You were incredible. Truly," he tells Kurt sincerely. "The best I've ever seen you and I'm really not just saying that."

"Thank you!" he squeals. "I feel good. I feel sick with nerves, but good." 

"Okay, keep in mind not everyone will approach you tonight," Blaine reminds him firmly. "I've seen some casting directors going already, but they had notebooks and pens and were taking copious notes when you were on stage, so don't panic if nothing happens right away."

"Excuse me?" a voice calls. Kurt turns, his professional showbiz smile in place to greet a woman, almost as tall as he is with her hair piled up in a messy bun. She wears glasses that she looks over the top of, smiling politely back at him. "My name is Anna Farris."

"Kurt Hummel, nice to meet you."

"I came to watch Chorus Line last week," she continues, "you were excellent." 

"Thank you," Kurt casts an excited glance to Blaine, who as promised, has blended into the background and stands quietly but listening attentively. 

"I heard you designed all the costumes, is that true?"

"Every one," he tells her proudly. "The fashion undergraduates at the Art Institute made them. I made my costumes for tonight, too."

"Wow." She shakes her head in amazement. "The thing is, Kurt, I'm a costume designer."

Blaine sees the moment Kurt's hopes sink, his eyes become darker and his bright smile falters just a little, but he remains ever the gentleman. "Oh, I see," he says, nodding even though for him, this conversation is done. 

"And I have to say, I'm amazed. I am seriously in awe of your talents, young man. I've spent most of last week telling anyone who would listen about your designs- only I didn't know it was you until I called the college to find out. When they told me you'd be performing tonight I knew I had to take the opportunity to come track you down- in a non stalker type way," she laughs. "I have a proposition for you." 

"Uh...thank you Ms Farris but..."

"I'd like to offer you a paid internship. There's a production of Les Mis in November at the Cadillac. I've been selected to be chief costume designer and I'm looking for someone to work alongside me, designing the costumes for the whole cast and making the outfits for the leads. If it comes off- and I work well with the person- I'd be looking to hire them on a permanent basis, and I want you to be that person, Kurt. What do you say?" 

"I uh..." he pauses to laugh nervously, looking around for Blaine but he's talking with the music professor and has his back to Kurt. "Ms. Farris," he begins, taking a deep breath. 

"Anna."

"Anna. That's an incredibly kind offer, and I'll admit it has my interest piqued....but I'm an actor, not a designer."

"Oh," her face falls and she nods solemnly. "I see. I guessed it was a long shot when I found out you were studying musical theatre performance, but still, if you don't ask you don't know, right?"

"Right," he says as he smiles sadly. "I hope you find someone."

"I'm sure I will, but I've a feeling they won't be nearly as talented as you," she says as she fumbles in her purse. "Look, Kurt, it was really nice meeting you," she offers her card which he takes. "I wish you every success with the acting...but if you ever change your mind...even if it's in five or even ten years time, promise me you'll call me. You could be something really special, Kurt, of that I have no doubt." 

She surprises him by hugging him tight, then she smiles again and is gone. Kurt stands, noting the presence of Blaine over his shoulder without even needing to turn around. "You think I should have taken it, don't you?"

"Not right there and then, no," he says quietly before moving so they are face to face. "But I do think you should meet with her and discuss it in greater detail."

"I don't want to be a costume designer."

"I know you don't," he says evenly. "But I have to say, I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why. You spend most of your free time immersed in fashion, studying magazines, watching tv shows, sketching designs. And costume is still in the theatre, which you love. Who was it who spent an entire rainy Saturday making mock ups of the costumes you designed for Wizard of Oz?" 

"I know, and as a hobby it's fine. I like the designing more than the making, I find it oddly soothing and immensely satisfying. But that's all it will ever be to me, a hobby."

"Okay," Blaine shrugs. "I'm not going to tell you to go for something if your heart's not in it."

"Thank you," Kurt says gratefully, leaning in to kiss his lips. "Why don't we go home?"

"We can't, not yet," Blaine smiles as his arms encircle Kurt's waist. "But I will permit you to kiss me again." 

Kurt laughs and kisses him again, letting their lips linger together as he sighs happily. 

"You! Hey, you!"

They break apart to see a small woman looking up at them and Kurt is immediately reminded of a shrew as she jabs a finger at him. "I want to talk with you. Martha Fisher, theatrical agent," she snaps, offering her card instead of her hand. "Call me."

"Uh...actually, I'm kinda not around for the next three weeks," Kurt stammers nervously. "It's graduation and then I'm getting married and..."

"Whatever," she says with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Call me when you are around then. We have business matters to discuss." 

Kurt calls after her quickly retreating back, "Business matters....does that mean...um...can I ask...are you interested in signing me?"

"No," she stops, turning around. "I'm asking you to paint my house. You've just done your showcase, kid. Whad'ya think?"

"What the hell was that?" Blaine asks in confusion as they stand together, slightly dazed by the encounter. 

Kurt stares, dumbstruck across the bar to where Martha is bustling out onto the street. "I think I just found myself an agent."


	31. Chapter 31

"My god but you look beautiful in a cap and gown," Blaine says as Kurt emerges from the bedroom.

"I look borderline idiotic," he grouches, "but thank you."

"I'm so proud of you."

"Don't!" Kurt laughs. "Don't start crying already! We've got all of today, plus the wedding tomorrow. You'll have nothing left." 

"Okay," Blaine sniffs, dabbing at his eyes. "C'mere. I have a gift for you." 

Kurt goes, holding out his left wrist which holds the charm bracelet, but Blaine surprises him, pinning a comedy tragedy mask brooch to his gown. 

“Are those diamonds?” Kurt asks in awe of the tiny stones covering both the faces. 

“Yes.”

“But there’s so many.”

“Shine bright like a diamond,” Blaine whispers as he finishes pinning it and kisses his cheek.

“Yes thank you, Rihanna,” Kurt smiles and taking his face in his hands he kisses him deeply. “You are wonderful and I love you so much,” he smiles blissfully as he closes his eyes and breathes him in. “Thank you for the brooch but also all the support you've given me- not only over the last three years but for always, and thank you for the support I know you’ll continue to give. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I am so happy, being with you. You make my life complete. You keep me sane, you love me and comfort me unconditionally and I really, really could never wish for a better husband to be.” 

“You told me I wasn't allowed to cry and then you go and spring that on me!” Blaine laughs as he wipes at his eyes. “I'm just not gonna say too much because I’ll really start to sob, and we have to leave now. But I feel the same. Is that enough for now? To know that?”

“It’s always enough, Blaine,” Kurt smiles, taking his arm and letting Blaine escort him from the apartment. “Always.” 

*

Kurt’s graduation ceremony leaves Blaine, his parents, Carole, Burt and Finn all wiping away tears of pride as he beams at them from the podium and blows a kiss to Blaine- who just about composes himself before welling up again when Joe’s name is called, who jokingly blows him a kiss too. 

“I can't believe my boy’s done it,” Burt says happily as he hugs Blaine tight. “Listen, in case I don’t get a chance to say this to you tomorrow... I wish you and Kurt all the happiness in the world. And I just want to thank you, for loving him the way you do. You’ve had to exercise real patience and restraint over the years and I’m well aware that at times you’ve had to put your own life on hold to wait for him to grow, and yet I’ve never heard you complain. When you first arrived in my workshop with a flat, I remember thinking I really wanted to punch you, but I couldn't find a justifiable cause,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “And then when you asked if you could date him I nearly floored you, except I was in my hospital bed and you asked so nicely and did that...thing...you do with your eyes, where you look like some kind of wounded animal. What I’m trying to say, Blaine, is that I am equally as proud of you as I am of him, and I’m over the moon that you’re gonna be my son too.” 

Blaine hugs him tight once more. “Thank you,” he says over his shoulder before pulling back to look at him. “That means everything. But if I’ve never complained it’s because Kurt has never given me cause to. And you and Carole have made this all so easy for us. Maybe not in the beginning,” he smiles at the memories, “I think it was a steep learning curve for all of us, but we got there- and you have always shown such tolerance and understanding. I know Kurt loves you so much and...well...I do too.”

“Darling! I need you for pictures,” Sara calls over, and they follow the crowds of excited families out into the bright sunshine where Kurt stands waiting for them. “I did it,” he grins at Blaine. 

“You did.” 

They kiss tenderly and lovingly, ignoring all the people milling about them until Sara calls “That’s nice. I have some lovely photos of that, but you can stop kissing now... I said stop,” she reprimands, rolling her eyes when they pull apart, laughing. 

“Joseph, darling, can you put your family down for a moment and have a picture with Kurt?”

“Sure thing,” he laughs, setting his little sister on her feet and throwing his arms around Kurt’s neck. “We’ve done okay, haven’t we? You and I?”

“We have,” Kurt laughs, letting Joe jump on his back for Blaine to take another picture. “I’m so glad I found you on my first day.”

“Yeah, man, I thought Blaine was the professor,” Joe grins. “Now he’s like...my second best gay. And!” he laughs, “I didn't even know anyone who was gay. Now I’m surrounded by them on all sides.”

“Well you’re stuck with us, I’m afraid,” Kurt tells him playfully. “You’re destined to live your life repelling women wherever you go because they’ll all assume you’re in some kind of homosexual love triangle.”

“Kurt, I really don’t think that will be the reason I repel women,” he laughs. “I can manage that quite nicely all by myself, thank you.” He falters for a moment, looking down nervously. “Kurt? You will visit me, won’t you? In LA?”

“Of course,” Kurt says, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “I know you think you’ll miss us all but believe me Joe, you’re going to be so busy your feet won’t even touch the floor. I’ll be locked in a deep and meaningful relationship with your answer machine.”

“No,” Joe shakes his head emphatically. “That’s not what I want at all. If that’s the price I have to pay for being a film actor then I don’t want to do it. Never let me get like that, Kurt, please. If all goes according to plan then things are gonna get pretty hectic and I’m really gonna need you and Blaine to keep my feet on the ground. Promise me you’ll try?”

“I promise.”

“Good. And in return I reserve the right to demand gay sleepovers whenever I so choose. Now! Onwards to the airport, my friend, for we have a wedding to attend!”

“I guess so,” Kurt grins, and he can't help the completely over excited giggle that escapes him. 

“Your mom is only three years older than me,” Blaine moans, coming over to rest his head on Joe’s shoulder. “That is so depressing.”

“Never mind, Blaine,” Finn laughs. “You’re not that old yet. Give it a year of marriage.”

“Hey!” Kurt objects, shoving playfully at his brother. 

“Okay, boys!” Mike calls. “We need to get going if we’re to make our flight. Lord help me, traveling with all of you,” he grumbles affectionately as he walks down the steps. 

“He’s feeling better then.” Kurt comments as they watch him depart. 

“Yes. Well, gorgeous boy. This is it. In years to come, when our daughter wants to know why we didn't celebrate your graduation you can tell her it was because you demanded we get married the very next day.”

“Yes,” he grins. 

“So. Are you ready?”

Kurt takes Blaine’s outstretched hand as together they run down the steps to the sidewalk and their waiting car, Finn handing the keys to Blaine before sliding into the backseat. 

“Yes!” Kurt cries excitedly. “The Anderson-Hummel wedding is officially a-go!”

“Kurt!”

“Sorry. Hummel-Anderson!”

*

"Get out of this kitchen! Out! Get out! Go!" Kurt and Blaine are screamed at from all sides by an array of women hastily arranging flowers and decorating cupcakes, plus Cooper waving a piping bag menacingly in their direction. 

"So help me god if you cast one glance at these cakes I will end the both of you," Cooper snaps. "We've been icing these bastards since dawn, all three hundred of them, and I retract every statement I ever made about Kathy being sweet and kind- and that sister of hers is a maniacal bitch."

"I am right here!" Teresa snaps from the large table where she holds several yellow roses. 

"Yes, and there's a good reason Santana chose to work with you," Cooper snaps. "Bitches stick with their own." 

"I'll stick this wire somewhere in a minute," his wife Claire bites from Teresa's side. 

"Okay darlings!" Sara enters the room, having left her suitcase in the hallway and found an apron and rolling pin already. "How are we all doing?"

"Good, I think," Kathy says sweetly. "Apart from your moronic son."

"Moronic son, please go and help your father and Burt with the luggage, and send my darling grandchildren in here, I need their nimble fingers. Moronic sons numbers two and three, go and lock yourselves away in the pool house as you always do- you're of no use to anyone. Right darlings! Rachel, be a dear and pass me that bowl of chocolate frosting."

"Did your mom just call me a moron?" Kurt asks Blaine in disbelief as he trails him through the house. 

"Indirectly, yes. But she also called you her son, so let's focus on that." 

They traipse out to the pool house, closing the door behind them and falling onto the bed where Kurt is quick to take Blaine in his arms. "This time tomorrow, one hundred and fifty people will be gathered to watch us get married. Can you believe it?"

"Not really, no," Blaine smiles. "We could just blow the whole thing off and spend the day in here instead," he teases, placing a gentle kiss to the hollow of Kurt's throat. 

"Hmm, I'm just trying to imagine Cooper's face if we did. I can't get over how incredibly generous our family and friends have been throughout all of this. Making stuff, sorting bits and pieces, travelling to Chicago all the time for various fittings and events.... We're so lucky."

"We are," Blaine agrees. "But I'm the luckiest of all, because I get to marry you." He kisses at Kurt's throat again, running his tongue out to make him shiver.

"Oh no you don't, mister. No way."

"What?" 

"It's tradition. And you needn't think I'm sleeping in here with you tonight, either. You're in here with Wes and I'm in the house with Joe."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Blaine, it's twenty four hours until the wedding. All jokes are suspended until further notice. As is all sexual activity." 

"So our last night as bachelors will be spent sleeping with straight men. Wow."

"Yes," Kurt replies firmly, then an impish grin takes over his face. "Though I have to say I wouldn't be adverse to a little making out before I go make final adjustments to Maddie and Taylor's outfits." 

Blaine grins as he rolls his weight on top of him. "Minx."

"You love your little minx."

"I do," Blaine confirms, swooping in to kiss at his lips. "Oh fuck...I do." He crashes their lips together, sliding his fingers into soft brown hair, feeling suddenly desperate with desire as Kurt eagerly responds beneath him, moaning in his throat when their tongues jostle for dominance- with Blaine winning out in the end. He nudges Kurt's legs apart with his knee, spurred on when Kurt lets him, welcomes it even, bucking upward when Blaine rubs his hand over his bulge, squeezing at Kurt's half hard cock. 

"Oh fuck it," Kurt moans, his voice a rasping whisper of desire when Blaine kisses along his jaw. "Just take me."

"Yes...oh god...yes," Blaine moans, hiking Kurt's leg around his waist and grinding his now aching cock against him. 

"Luggage is here!" Mike calls brightly, throwing open the door and coming face to face with Blaine on top of a completely dishevelled Kurt, both their faces turned in shock towards the doorway. "Oh! My bad. Sorry. Retreat, Burt!" he calls, and it's only then that the boys see both Burt and Cooper standing just outside. "The boys are having sex in the pool house! Retreat!" 

"We'll just leave your luggage outside then," Cooper laughs. 

"Well we're not having sex now, are we?" Blaine huffs in annoyance, rolling off the top of his fiancé and walking over to collect the suitcases. "Jeez. Talk about a mood killer." 

"Until tomorrow, I guess," Kurt says, falling back against the pillows, cheeks pink with embarrassment. 

"I guess." Blaine closes the pool house door once more and sits back on the bed. "Are you nervous?"

"Completely petrified," Kurt admits, taking his hand and smiling softly, "and I don't know why."

"Same. I love you, you know."

"I know," Kurt nods. "And I love you too. But I guess I'd better go find that niece and nephew of ours and hope they haven't grown too much in a month." 

Their dinner that night consists of pizza with their closest family and friends, and the evening is relaxed and informal. Kurt and Blaine cast loving, shy glances at one another for most of the night, but avoid talking to each other too much, an unspoken mutual agreement between them both to save everything for tomorrow night. Kurt does snag Blaine under the large magnolia tree to say goodnight though, kissing him chastely on the lips before bowing his head onto his shoulder. "I'll see you at the altar," he says quietly into the crook of Blaine's neck. 

Blaine sighs contentedly, a shiver running through him at the feeling of Kurt's warm breath fanning over him. "At the altar."

"Or the patch of grass in front of where the officiant will be."

"Yes, there," Blaine chuckles. "Well.... I think your bedfellow is waiting for you," he says, noticing Joe lurking by the back door. "As is mine. So...."

"This is it."

"It is."

"I'll see you tomorrow." 

They kiss quickly once more, both wanting to linger and deepen it but resisting, knowing that more is to come and when it does it will be sublime. Blaine finds Wes sitting in the doorway of the pool house, where he hands him a glass of whiskey. 

"Blaine!"

"It's just one," he says, sitting down next to him. "I wanted to make a toast. To absent friends," he says, raising his glass to the night sky.

Wes looks at him pointedly. "To Luke."

"Yeah," he agrees quietly. "To Luke." 

They drink together, sitting in silence for a moment until Wes speaks. "He'd be proud of you, you know. Because we all are. I know you're always one for self-depreciation but you have to admit, your life's turned out to be pretty spectacular."

"It has," Blaine looks down at the floor and shakes his head. "But only because of you. I've said so many times, I owe you my whole life and I do, because I don't think I'd have this life, or any life at all really if it weren't for you saving me the way you did."

"You don't owe me anything," Wes tells him sincerely as he puts an arm around his shoulders. "Whatever debt or burden you feel, let it go. You have repaid me time and time again by letting me see you finally find happiness and love. I know you, and I know you always think this friendship is one sided, but honestly? I don't know where I'd be without you either. Still single, for a start. But it's more than that, Blaine. It's knowing you're always there if I call, it's knowing that you cherish our time together as much as I do, and it's knowing you love Kathy and my family as much as I love Kurt and yours. It's knowing that your kids and mine will grow up together and view each other as family, and that one day, in fifty years time we'll be sitting on a porch somewhere watching our grand kids running about together and thinking 'yeah, we did okay.'" 

"I lucked out the day those kids beat me up," Blaine says, voice hoarse with emotion as he remembers. "Because it led me to you. And Nicky and Jeff, Seb too....but you, above all else." 

"So are you gonna permit me to take you to bed?" 

Blaine laughs loudly, standing and pulling Wes up with him. "Yeah, I guess so. Ha! You used to say that to me all the time in New York."

"Yeah but you were a grumpy ass drunk who used to yell at me then," he smiles teasingly as they shut the door behind them. "Now you're an engaged man in your mid thirties who will willingly fall into bed with me at the first request." 

"Do I get to sleep with you again the night before your wedding?"

"Of course!" Wes laughs. "Actually, I might invite Kurt to join us."

"Okay," Blaine laughs. "This conversation just changed into something else entirely, and it's late, and I'm getting married in the morning so..."

"Yes. Bed." 

Two hours later, when both have dozed off, Blaine sits suddenly. "Holy shit! I'm getting married in the morning!"

*

"Holy shit I'm getting married today!" Kurt nudges Joe in the ribs as he grunts and snorts his way into waking, sitting and rubbing distractedly at his jaw as he tries to remember why he's in a bed with Kurt in LA. 

"Yeah," he laughs. "You totally are. Man. When you two got engaged the wedding seemed like a lifetime away. And Seb, Wes, Rachel...all of them...I didn't know them at all. Now I just include them in my list of friends. Oh my god that's what I've done. I've just poached all of your friends from you and now I'm moving in with your brother-in-law."

"You're what?" Kurt asks in surprise. "Since when?"

"Since yesterday. I was telling him how I'm apartment hunting, but I have barely any cash right now until the film drops, and he offered me a place here. It makes sense, I guess, and I won't be lonely."

"That's great," Kurt smiles. "I feel a lot happier about that actually. I'll admit to being kinda worried about you out here on your own." 

"Don't worry about me," Joe says, getting out of bed and moving to look out at the army of caterers and wedding planners milling about, setting up rows upon rows of chairs in Cooper's large yard. "Worry about yourself, my friend. It's nearly wedding time." 

*

"I feel like I'm gonna puke. Why do I feel like I'm gonna puke? I can't marry Kurt with puke on my breath. Oh my god I'm gonna hurl at his feet again." Blaine paces nervously back and forth in the confines of the pool house as Wes sits on the bed. 

"You are not going to puke and your breath is fine," Wes tells him, standing and stopping him in his tracks. "Nerves are good. It proves you're taking it seriously. You and Kurt haven't entered into this lightly, you know. You've had plenty of time to think and reflect on what it means to be married, and you both want this more than anything. That's why you feel so scared." 

"I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't..."

"You can and you will," Wes says firmly as he brushes invisible lint from Blaine's shoulders and straightens his bow tie. 

"There's so many people," Blaine says in a terrified whisper as he peeks out through the blind. "I'm gonna fluff my vows and it'll be awful. Kurt will never forgive me."

"I'm pretty sure that once that officiant pronounces you husbands he'll forgive anything. Forget about all of us and focus on Kurt. This is your day. Yours and no one else's. We are all immensely privileged that you want us to share in it with you, but today is about you and Kurt and nothing else matters." He squeezes Blaine's hand tightly as the string quartet starts to play. "Come on," he smiles, "the love of your life is waiting for you."

*

"Not many people can say they've had the Chicago Symphony Orchestra serenade them as they walk down the aisle," Burt says as he stands by his son's side. They look down from the bedroom window, surveying all the guests gathered in the yard. The ushers: Cooper, Joe, Sebastian, and Finn are escorting guests to their chairs, and Kurt spots Mike escorting Sara and Carole to the front row. 

"It's not the entire orchestra," Kurt mutters. "Just a quartet. But yes, we're very lucky. Riccardo kindly organized it for us. Dad, I feel sick. Why am I so nervous? It's just Blaine. And yet I'm petrified. Why am I feeling like this?"

"Because you've been dreaming of this day since you were three," Burt chuckles, putting an arm around him and pulling him close. "And you've been dreaming of this day with this man since you were fifteen- and don't even try and pretend like marriage wasn't the first thing on your mind when you met him, because I know you too well for that." 

"I..." Kurt starts to protest, then laughs and shakes his head. "Yeah. I remember sitting in history the day after I had first spoken with him, and I wondered what it would be like to be his husband," he smiles. 

"Well you're about to find out."

"I wish my mom were here," Kurt says quietly, staring down at the yard. 

"I know. And so do I. But I'd like to think she's watching somewhere, and no doubt she's as proud of you as I am," Burt says, choking on the tears lodged in his throat. "You are the best son I could have wished for, Kurt. And I'm so happy that you're marrying Blaine. You may be an adult now, but you'll always be my little boy, and I need to know you're looked after, even though you're capable of doing it yourself."

"I'm taller than you."

"By a half inch," Burt says, nudging his shoulder jokingly. "But I don't care. I can be on my death bed, surrounded by grandchildren and great grandchildren and you will still be that little tiny baby with the bright blue eyes that for some inexplicable reason chose to love me with all his heart even though I messed up and didn't always do my best."

"That's complete crap," Kurt says, turning to face him. "You have always given me the best of everything, and it's been easy to love you so much because you've been so wonderful, and you always will be. Nothing will change, dad."

"Oh I know," he says with a tight smile. "But things will change, because you're growing up. You've graduated, you're out in the real world, and now you're about to be married too. Next it will be you becoming immersed in your work, then babies while I retire and sit on my porch waiting for you to visit occasionally. But I don't mind that, you see. Because I'll get to live vicariously through you now, and I couldn't be happier for you." 

"I am ridiculously excited for the future," Kurt admits shyly. "And I haven't told Blaine this, because I'm not ready just yet, and I don't want to give him false hope...but the thing I'm most excited for is having a baby together." 

"Haha, I'll remind you of that when you've got one," Burt laughs. "Now, are we gonna get out there and put Blaine out of his misery?"

"Yeah," Kurt says, a grin lighting up his face as Burt kisses his forehead. "Yeah." 

*  
Kurt looks resplendent in dark dress pants and a crisp white shirt with burgundy velvet jacket and cravat. His hair is impeccable, which it should be- given the time and effort he's taken over it. Blaine looks classically elegant in a traditional black tux, with burgundy bow tie and vest- his hair neatly gelled but not too heavy- Wes having been primed by Kurt to be firm about the level of gel used. The maids of honor are in matching burgundy prom style dresses, carrying simple yet elegant bouquets of white lillies while the best men and ushers are all in tuxes with burgundy bow ties. The time and effort Kurt has thrown into the outfits is evident, the care and attention to detail on full display as the conversation between the guests fades away and an expectant hush falls before the quartet begin to play.

They say not a word when they arrive face to face, but Blaine smiles, his eyes shining as he offers his hand to Kurt, who takes it, gripping his fingers firmly and confidently and together they walk down the aisle to the waiting officiant, Wes and Burt walking behind them followed by Santana and Rachel. The officiant greets everyone warmly, delivering a short speech about love and the sanctity of marriage before turning to Kurt and asking him to speak his vows. 

"Um... Blaine, I..." he pauses, casting a shy glance down at his feet before looking back up to meet his gaze. "Oh I love you so much." They both release a nervous, breathy laugh at this, and then Kurt turns serious. "Blaine, I promise to love, honor and protect you, forsaking all others for the rest of our lives. I promise to listen, to help and encourage you in all that you do, and I promise to cherish you always."

The tears have already started for Blaine, as he knew they would, and he reaches a trembling hand out to cup Kurt's cheek sweetly, yet the voice which comes is firm and sure. "Kurt, I promise to love you faithfully until the end of time. I promise to always try my best to make you happy, to keep you safe, to defend you and to fight for you. I will always, always, treasure you, respect you and hold you dear to my heart. You are perfect for me, my one true love and I am all for you." 

Burt steps up quietly, handing a ring to Kurt who takes Blaine's left hand, smiling tentatively as Blaine notices the engraving inside. "My old man," Kurt says softly. "Blaine Devon Anderson. With this ring I marry you, with my body I honor you, with my heart I love you and all that I am I give to you, completely and forever." 

Taking the matching ring from Wes, he holds it in his palm for Kurt to see the words. "As if there was ever any doubt," he smiles. Taking his hand, he holds the ring at the tip of his finger. "Gorgeous boy, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. With this ring I marry you, with my body I honor you, with my heart I love you and all that I am I give to you, completely and forever." 

Sliding the ring onto Kurt's hand, Blaine releases a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and he hears Kurt do the same. They both look up, eyes meeting and brilliant, blazing smiles on their faces as they realize they've finally made their greatest dream a reality. 

"It gives me great pleasure to pronounce you married," the officiant says as someone- most likely Rachel- tries to suppress a squeal. "And with all your family and friends looking on and giving you an enormous round of applause, you may both now kiss your husband." 

It is a kiss like no other; searing in its passion and intensity yet gentle, tender and altogether more loving than anything they have ever shared as Blaine takes Kurt's face in his hands and brings their lips together. Kurt's arms hold Blaine tightly, drawing him close as he sighs into his mouth and paying the loudly applauding crowd no heed, he allows his tongue to wind into Blaine's mouth who responds eagerly. It is the not so subtle throat clearing of Burt that eventually breaks them, pulling apart with enormous grins as Kurt rests their foreheads together. 

"We've done it," he whispers happily, eyes closed in blissful contentment. "We're husbands."

"We are," Blaine laughs quietly. "And I promise to be the best husband I can be. I love you so very much, Kurt." 

"Ladies and gentleman! Wes calls out loudly. "It gives me very great, huge, overwhelming pleasure to present to you, Mr. and Mr. Hummel-Anderson!"


	32. Chapter 32

"Okay, I know your faces probably ache from smiling, but two more and I promise we will be done," Jonathan tells Kurt and Blaine as he arranges them into another position. "I'd really like one of you to pick the other one up- and I'll take one of each way around so there's no moaning from Blaine about being the girl," he jokes as he passes him Santana's flowers. "Go on Kurt, pick your husband up and try to make it look like he's light as a feather and hasn't really been eating chicken wings for the last hour." 

They both laugh as Kurt scoops Blaine up, and Jonathan gets the perfect shot of the moment Kurt staggers backwards under his weight, making the picture amusing and informal rather than stiff and posed. They swap then, Blaine now holding the flowers between his teeth as Kurt holds Rachel's and throws his arms wide, laughing loudly in Blaine's embrace and again Jonathan grabs the perfect shot. 

"Excellent. I'm done. Thank you both for your patience," he says as he hugs them. "You can go and join your party now...or you can use the time I'm in the men's room for a sneaky moment alone, because no one will know you're not still having your pictures done." He grins then laughs as he walks away, knowing full well which option the newlyweds will choose. He is correct, and they run away laughing until they can duck around the side of the house where Kurt is quick to pin Blaine against the wall. 

"Husband," he smiles, his face just inches from Blaine's who smiles. 

"Husband."

"You look so beautiful today." Kurt's voice is soft, almost reverent as he lets his thumb trail over Blaine's cheek. 

"You too," Blaine whispers. "And crazy hot too, of course. I love you, husband of mine."

"Husband of mine," Kurt echoes. "I can see this is gonna run and run."

"It better do," Blaine smiles. "Now kiss me, you fool, before our absence from our own wedding reception is noticed." 

They kiss slowly, not wanting to push it any further but rather just revel in this special and unexpected moment alone. Their arms hold each other tight, and eventually they break the kiss to hug, Blaine sinking happily into Kurt's shoulder as he always does. 

"Huh. I was expecting to come back and find at least one of you semi naked," Jonathan jokes when he finds the pair embracing. "I feel almost disappointed."

They head across the yard to the marquee from which the noise of the guests can be heard. "Thank you so much for doing our pictures," Blaine tells him. "We wouldn't have wanted anyone else."

"It's been my pleasure," Jonathan says sincerely. "And don't even think about trying to pay me. Think of it as our wedding gift to you."

"Oh no, no. We couldn't," Kurt protests. "You did so much for me when I was in England, and Teresa did all the flower arranging and..."

"And I will not accept payment even if you stuff cash in my underwear," Jonathan laughs. "Just...maybe...have us visit sometime."

"Oh we will," Blaine promises. "Definitely." 

The couple have opted for an extravagant buffet rather than the traditional sit down meal, giving them a chance to speak with all their guests and to thank them for making the trip. Kurt finds himself warmly embraced by Blaine's orchestra colleagues, and he is happy to see Molly and Jules are still going strong from New Years. Ken and his wife Gill are enthusiastic in their congratulations, with Gill gushing about how much she enjoyed the ceremony. 

"I can't wait to tell Grace and Patrick all about it!"

Kurt bites his tongue to keep from saying what he really feels, but smiles politely instead. "So what are your plans for the rest of the summer?" he asks instead.

"Well we're taking a brief vacation while we're out this way," she smiles. "We're heading up to San Fran tomorrow for a few days. Then it's back to Chicago to prepare for the tour. Will you be joining Blaine this year? I'm thinking of picking it up along the East Coast for a few days if I can escape from work."

"I'm not sure, in all honesty," Kurt tells her. "I'd like to, but it depends on how my meeting with this agent goes, and if she can get me any work. It could well be that our two weeks of honeymoon is the only time Blaine and I get to spend together for quite a while. But I will definitely get to New York, whatever happens." 

"Why New York?" Gill asks. "That's the one place I want to avoid if I can help it. New York in August is just a killer. It's so sticky and...ugh."

"I have my reasons," he smiles, "maybe have a rethink," he urges. "We can shop?"

"Ooh, tempting, Kurt. Very tempting!" Laughing, she pats his arm before they part, Kurt to be embraced yet again by an assortment of relatives who he hasn't seen in years. He can see Blaine in the opposite corner, talking with Finn and Puck and he smiles over one Aunt's shoulder at his new husband, who beams back and immediately makes his way toward him. 

"I can't stay away from you," Blaine whispers happily as he slides his arms around Kurt's waist. "I don't want to stay away from you."

"Then don't," Kurt laughs softly, winding his fingers into the few loose curls at the back of Blaine's neck. "Stay by my side."

"Let's blow this off for a while," Blaine tries, nuzzling into Kurt's neck and breathing his scent. 

"We can't. People would notice."

"So?"

"So....as tempting as it is, no. We can wait. Tonight we can make love for the whole night long if we so choose."

"I want that."

"So let's get the party started then, the quicker everyone gets drunk, the quicker everyone will stagger home." 

"Okay," Blaine nods. "I uh... I have a little speech so..." His eyes dart around the room until he finds Wes, who seems to know immediately what Blaine is requesting as he says something quickly to Kathy who heads in one direction while he locates Sebastian. Turning, Kurt opens his mouth to say something to his new husband, but he has vanished to be replaced by Joe, grinning widely and taking Kurt's hand. 

"Come with me."

"What? Why? What's going on?" 

"Blaine has something he wants to do," Joe explains. "And my job is to guide you to your seat, which is here." He has pulled Kurt across the room to the small stage set up for the evenings musical performances, where a lone chair sits slightly left of center. Kurt sits nervously, the rest of the guests still milling about until the groomsmen gradually herd them into one big group on the dance floor and Blaine steps nervously up to the microphone. 

"Hi," he starts, with a timid wave, "Uh...so... My husband and I..." he trails off, laughing shyly into the microphone at the huge cheer which erupts, grinning when he sees the look of pure joy on Kurt's face. "My husband and I would like to thank you all for coming today, to share in our special day with us. It was a lot to ask of you all, to travel so far and to go to so much effort, and we're really honored that so many of you did so. This isn't going to be a long speech- I have actually written letters of thanks to some people- I think Kurt can attest that I'm quite the letter writer- but I do want to thank all those who made today possible for us. My brother, Cooper, his wife Claire and their gorgeous children, Maddie and Taylor; thank you for letting us use your beautiful house and yard. Kathy, Teresa, Jonathan; thank you for all you've done. Our wonderful friends; Rachel, Finn, Santana, Joe, Sebastian, Nick and Jeff. You have been so supportive of us both as a couple and as individuals. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, so thank you, we love you all dearly. Wes... Ah, what to say? Dammit, I knew I'd cry at some point." Pausing, he wipes at his eyes briefly before continuing. "I've said this to you many times, but I want to say it publicly. I owe you my life. When I was at rock bottom you sacrificed your home, your career, your family and friends to save me. I love you so much, and I will be eternally grateful for your intervention, because you led me to Kurt, encouraged me to form a friendship before rushing into anything dumb, and picked me up again when it all nearly fell apart. Everyone should have a Wes in their lives, I'm just lucky I got the original. Thank you.  
And lastly, our parents. Wow. We both got lucky there I guess. Burt and Carole, I know it wasn't easy when Kurt and I first started to date, but you tried your best to understand and to let us be together. Mom, dad, I know that when I first came out to you, all those years ago, I was petrified. But you were so wonderfully honest about it- admitting you didn't really understand but would accept and love me no matter what. In fact dad, I still remember your exact words 'son, you could run away to Paris and become a can-can dancer at the Moulin Rouge and I'd still be proud of you. You could tell me you were sexually attracted to sheep and while I wouldn't understand, I'd still love you because you're my boy.' Well...I'm not attracted to sheep, and my can-can isn't up to much either, but I can honestly say that you have both been wonderful throughout my life. Thank you to all four of you for everything you've given, and will no doubt continue to give to Kurt and I.   
Which brings me to you, my gorgeous boy." Blaine stops a moment, turning to talk directly to Kurt who focuses solely on Blaine, blocking out the rest of the room entirely. 

"Kurt, the first time I ever saw you, you were sitting in the Lima Bean with all your friends. Your eyes were the first thing I noticed, and I will forever have them etched into my soul. As soon as I spoke to you I knew there was this bond, this unbreakable connection that only soulmates can have, that would never be broken. Thank you, for letting me love you. For putting up with me, for encouraging me, for keeping me safe and for loving me as you do. The day we moved into our apartment, I started writing a song. I've been working on it ever since. You always ask what I've been doing. Most of the time I'm quite specific, but those times I've been a bit vague, it's because I've been working on this song. A song for Kurt, if you will. So...I'm gonna play it for you now, because I think the words say all I want to say." 

He takes his place at the keyboard, joined by Puck on guitar and Finn on drums. Kurt looks out briefly at the sea of expectant faces before deciding it's all too much so he turns back to Blaine instead, who starts to play.

"Last night I fell asleep, and I saw you dancing in my dreams,   
Just like the way the Autumn leaves fall for you.   
All for you. 

You changed my life, you changed my ways.  
I don't even recognize myself these days.  
It must be a reflection of you.  
Only you. 

I can't remember feeling love like this in so long.  
I can't imagine living life without you by my side.   
Day after day you find a way to make this grown man cry.  
It's so true, I'm all for you. 

My arms could hold you tight, keep you warm in the coldest night.  
My hand would pull your hair right back away from your eyes.   
For you. Only you.  
If I knew how to do it,   
I'd paint the moon, the stars around you.  
Paint the perfect sunset.   
But I couldn't make it more beautiful than you.  
Oh, nothing compares to you.  
You know it's true.

I can't remember feeling love like this in so long.  
I can't imagine living life without you by my side.   
Day after day you find a way to make this grown man cry.  
It's so true, I'm all for you.

Some might call it insanity.  
Without a doubt for the rest of my life,   
I'm going to be crazy.  
Baby, crazy for you.

All for you.   
I'm all for you." 

At some point during the song, Kurt finds his feet taking him from his chair to sit with Blaine behind the keyboard, and when the song finishes his lips are on his before the last notes die away. "You wrote that for me," he says, pulling back, eyes shimmering with tears. 

"All for you," Blaine says. "Three years in the making. I'm not sure Elton John takes three years to write one song."

"I'm not sure Elton is as talented as you anyway," Kurt laughs as he presses their foreheads together. "Blaine, it's beautiful. Thank you. I'm gonna need a recording of that."

"Already done," Blaine admits shyly, nodding towards where Sebastian and Joe are standing. "My A/V team are on it. Will you sing with me now?" 

"I can't think of anything better." 

They take to the stage together, singing 'See Beneath Your Beautiful,' and dancing their first dance together as husbands to a huge round of applause, before moving onto 'Don't go Breaking My Heart,' which still remains one of their favorite after dinner numbers to sing together. Kurt ushers Blaine from the stage then, leaving him standing in awe as he sings Wake Me Up Inside. 

"Your husband, he sing so well!" Riccardo, the Symphony conductor cries happily to Blaine. 

"I know," he beams. "This song...well this song will always be everything to me." 

He rushes to help Kurt down from the stage when the song finishes, narrowly avoiding Rachel's elbows as she snatches the microphone from Kurt, who falls happily into Blaine's arms. "I love you so much," Blaine whispers into Kurt's neck as they hug tightly. "That song... Whenever you sing it it's perfection."

"Blaine...."

But Kurt doesn't get to finish; Rachel launching into song as people around them begin to dance and the moment is forgotten for now. The party gets well under way, the New Directions alum along with Will Schuester happily providing the entertainment with Kurt joining them for a few numbers. Burt and Mike's rendition of 'Timeless to me,' from Hairspray has the crowd laughing and cheering for more while the groom's hold their heads in their hands and try to pretend they don't know their parents. 

"So do you think it's socially acceptable to leave now?" Kurt asks, looking at his watch. 

"Not yet," Wes interrupts on his way past, hurrying to the stage where Sebastian stands at the microphone. 

"Okay Blaine, get up here," he calls. "You haven't grown since you were four years old, so this should still fit," he smiles as he holds out his old Dalton blazer. "We thought it would be the perfect time for one final performance, I'm sure you can still remember the choreography."

Kurt claps and cheers for his husband and his friends as they make their way through a slick Warblers performance with barely any mistakes. "I think we should be quite grateful we never came up against them," Rachel says from his side, staring dumbstruck as Jeff launches into a backflip. 

"Definitely," Kurt laughs. "I knew they were good, but to still be this good, twenty years on? Yeah." 

"They probably gather for secret practises," Santana remarks dryly. "I don't think I've ever seen anything as gay as this." 

"I wanna join," Joe moans. 

"You would," Kurt laughs. "Come on. We may as well act like complete fan girls and dance while they sing." 

Blaine returns to his side after, breathless, exhilarated, and more than a little proud of his performance. "I think we can leave now," he tells Kurt, but Riccardo approaches and the moment is lost once more. 

"Blaine! I have a proposal!" he cries exuberantly in his thick Italian accent. "Kurt too! Your song Blaine. I like. I like a lot. I want you to try it a little different. I want you to record it on piano with orchestral back up. I think we could use it on our next album."

"Me? What? But....why?" Blaine stutters, unable to believe the words he is hearing. 

"Because I like you Blaine," he laughs. "We all do. You too, Kurt. That song you sang was magnifico, exquisite! Will you record too?" 

"Uh...I don't know," a suddenly shy Kurt mutters as he tries to hide in Blaine's side. "The orchestra is Blaine's thing, I don't want to...."

"We always have guest vocalists for albums," he smiles. "And this time I want it a bit more contemporary. Please tell me you will think about it?"

"Okay, I'll think about it."

"Do it," Blaine urges. "It'll be fun." 

"I...yeah, okay," he laughs. "I'll do it."

"Excellent!" Riccardo booms. "Keep practising. We record in September." Clapping them both on the back he returns to his table while Kurt and Blaine stare at each other in disbelief. 

"All my life I've wanted this opportunity," Blaine grins, "and now I get to share it with you." 

"You're not mad? I didn't want to steal your thunder."

"Are you kidding me? No way am I mad," Blaine laughs. "I'm over the moon. Though if we don't get to be alone soon I will combust with rage," he smiles. "Come on. Let's make our excuses and leave." 

It is another hour until the goodbyes are complete, and Lacy and Kathy have caught Santana's and Rachel's bouquets- though Kurt notices Rachel slyly retrieving hers from the table when she thinks nobody's looking. Still, eventually they close the door to the pool house where Blaine sags against it in relief. 

"What a day," he sighs. "Was it all you hoped?"

"And more," Kurt smiles, turning his back as he starts to unfasten his jacket. "Hey!" he turns at the feeling of something on his shoulder to see Blaine diligently going over him with a lint roller. "You're lint rollering my jacket," he laughs. "I thought you said there wasn't a hope in hell."

"Like you said, we can spend all night making love if we so choose," Blaine says, his voice already becoming low and his eyes turning dark. "You went to so much trouble with these outfits, they need to be looked after, as do you."

"Kiss me," Kurt demands, turning in his arms to face him. "Kiss me as if it was our first time all over again."

"As I recall our first kiss was nothing more than..." Blaine trails off, grazing his lips gently over Kurt's. "That. And then I asked you to come home with me." 

"Why does that one little kiss feel deeper and more profound than ever before?" Kurt whispers, eyes wide and searching into Blaine's soul. "Why am I in deeper than I ever thought possible? I couldn't quit you if I tried, Blaine. You make me whole."

"This is it," Blaine smiles. "I should have told you this before maybe, but I don't believe in divorce. I'm in this marriage for the rest of my days."

"I guess that makes two of us then."

"We get to have old people sex together."

"You get to have that a long way before I do," Kurt teases gently. "But it will be perfectly wonderful because it's us. Together." 

"Kurt, I don't know why but my heart is pounding in my chest and my throat is dry, my whole body is fraught with nerves."

"Same." Kurt's laugh is breathy, nervous as his arms wrap around Blaine's neck and he steps closer. "It's just us, and yet I'm standing here, still fully dressed and absolutely petrified, wondering who is going to top for our first time as husbands."

"We didn't discuss this," a stricken Blaine says. "Why didn't we discuss this?"

"Because we never normally do, I guess. We just always see what happens."

"What do you want to do? Just tell me and I'll do it."

"I don't know," Kurt admits. "I like to top, you know that. But I also love feeling you inside me. I...ah...I just love you. In any way, shape or form."

"Why are we getting so worked up over this?" Blaine asks, a small, amused smile playing on his face. 

"I don't know. We're fools."

"We are." 

"We should just...kiss. See where that takes us."

"Yes. Kissing is good. I like kissing."

"I do too," Kurt smiles. "So we should..."

"Yeah." 

"Kiss."

The spark ignites as soon as their lips connect, Blaine sliding his fingers into Kurt's hair as he fists the front of Blaine's shirt before deciding to work on the buttons instead. Their mouths open wider and their tongues meet, teeth nipping lightly at lips as soft whimpers turn into all out moans and Kurt pushes Blaine's shirt to the floor. He smacks Blaine's hands away from his own shirt, making him chuckle darkly and move his lips to his neck and hands to his pants instead so before long Kurt is down to his briefs with a line of darkening hickeys trailing from under his ear down to just above his right nipple. Chest heaving with desire, he kisses Blaine fiercely once more before swiftly pushing his pants to the floor and backing him toward the bed where he falls down on top of him. 

Stroking back the curls that have sprung free to fall onto his forehead, Kurt's eyes shine as he offers a dazzling smile. "I love you, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."

"What?!" Blaine cries with a laugh of disbelief.

"Relax, I'm only messing with you," Kurt laughs as he kisses his cheek. "Blaine Hummel-Anderson," he says, his voice dropping deep and low making Blaine shudder deliciously. "Kurt Hummel-Anderson," he continues, nosing along Blaine's jaw and running his tongue out to taste the saltiness of his skin. "Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson."

"Who's that?"

"Our future baby," Kurt says with a shrug, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary about it.

"That far off distant twinkling of light has a name already?" Blaine laughs.

"Well...you don't have to..."

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Be quiet and make love with your husband," he says, reaching up to pull him into another kiss. It falls naturally that Blaine soon finds himself spooned in front of Kurt, open and ready, groaning low in his throat as Kurt lines up behind him and pushes inside, clutching Blaine tight around the waist as he kisses his shoulder tenderly. 

"My husband," he says, voice barely above a whisper as they still for a moment and let it wash over them. 

Reaching back, Blaine pulls Kurt into a kiss as best he can, keeping his arm around his neck as Kurt begins to drive deep inside, his breath coming in short ragged gasps directly in Blaine's ear, which only serves to arouse him more and more. 

"Kurt...oh yes, Kurt... Come on...." 

Kurt's thrusts are relentless, deep, hard and long, but stopping abruptly when Blaine reaches for his own cock. "Switch with me," he pants.

"What? You....what?"

"We've got all night," he explains as he withdraws and rolls Blaine onto his back. "So finger me open then take me, come inside me."

"Oh my fucking...." a shocked Blaine starts as Kurt presses the bottle of lube into his hand. "How can anyone say no to that?" He bites lightly at Kurt's ass as he pulls him back onto all fours, trailing a slick finger along his crack before pushing inside. By the time Kurt is taking three fingers with ease, Blaine is becoming desperate for something, anything. Kurt senses this, stilling Blaine's hand and kneeling to face him. 

"Here," he whispers brokenly, reaching around and pushing his fingers into Blaine's still stretched hole, who yelps and clutches him tightly. Their cocks rub together as they finger one another simultaneously, groaning in pleasure as their bodies, slick with sweat press flush against each other. "Take me," Kurt moans into Blaine's mouth, as their tongues run together once more. 

Moving back to sit against the headboard, Blaine encourages Kurt to straddle him, which he does eagerly, lacing his fingers around the back of Blaine's damp curls as he slides down onto his slick cock. 

Pressing his forehead into Kurt's shoulder, Blaine pauses a moment, hands resting lightly on his hips. "I love you so much, Kurt. So...damn...much." 

Kurt reaches for Blaine's left hand with his own, taking it and holding it to his chest, their matching wedding rings glinting slightly in the soft glow of the lamplight as Blaine looks up at him with wide, searching eyes. "Always," Kurt murmurs, kissing his soft, pliant lips before slowly beginning to ride him. "Husbands, always." 

They stay that way for the longest time; hands pressed between their chests and eyes trained on each other as Blaine's arm encircles Kurt's waist and they rock together slowly. They take their time, never rushing, just revelling in every second of togetherness as they share sweet, loving kisses before Kurt bows his head onto Blaine's shoulder. "I can't hold on any longer," he whispers.

"Then let go," Blaine murmurs, pushing his nose into his damp hair. "I've got you." 

Kurt stutters in Blaine's lap, panting against his shoulder as he spills between them, the friction from his cock rubbing against Blaine's stomach enough to tip him over the edge. Crying out softly, he falls limply against Blaine who thrusts upward twice more before coming deep inside Kurt's still clenching hole. 

"Oh my....."

"Yeah," Kurt sighs blissfully, reaching across for tissues to clean them both. 

The usual sleep which takes them almost immediately, doesn't. They lie wrapped in one another's embrace, smiling, sharing kisses and talking over the day. At some point, Kurt's hands start to wander, his touch becomes firm and more insistent as Blaine responds eagerly, granting him access and wrapping his legs around his waist to draw him closer, closer still. They doze after, still sex sticky and sweaty as an exhausted Kurt drops onto Blaine's chest and stays there until he wakes in the early hours of the dawn to find himself on his back with Blaine's mouth around his cock. 

"This okay?" he asks when he notices Kurt looking down at him.

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt smiles, his voice rasping and heavy with sleep. "I mean, I'm not sure there's gonna be much of me to taste but..."

"I can't get enough of you," Blaine says honestly, kissing the tip of his cock lightly. "This is like a new awakening for me. Like I'm suddenly seeing you for the first time all over again and I'm so hungry for you, so desperate to be with you, to touch, to taste...." 

"Get up here and kiss me," Kurt demands, claiming his mouth in a fiercely passionate kiss that leaves them both panting for breath. "I could make a really bad pun right now about how you wake me up inside...but you do. You really do, Blaine. You stir me to the depths of my soul, emitting thoughts and feelings in me that I never knew I could have, and that I never knew I wanted or needed until I found you. I love you, my old man, my boyfriend, my fiancé, my one true love and now my husband." 

Blaine drizzles lube over them both, drawing Kurt near; grinding against him and making them both cry out. "My soulmate," he whispers in Kurt's ear, who hums his agreement. 

"Always."


	33. Chapter 33

"I have your breakfast!" Cooper calls loudly outside the door. 

"Don't come in!" Kurt's slightly alarmed voice calls back. "We're both naked."

"It was your wedding night," Cooper laughs. "I'd be worried if you weren't! I'll leave it outside. We need to head to the airport in an hour." 

"What did you tell him that for?" Blaine asks as he stretches on the bed.

"I don't know. I couldn't think of an excuse quick enough, I've only had two hours sleep."

"He'll tell everyone," Blaine grumbles as he pulls on his briefs and rushes outside to collect the tray. 

"I know, but like he said, it was our wedding night. They'll all know what we've been doing anyway."

"You haven't been online, have you?" Blaine checks as he picks up his coffee.

"No!" Kurt laughs. "But it's generally expected that couples have sex on their wedding night."

"Not four times in less than twelve hours."

"True."

"I think I might be broken."

"Then you need a vacation to revive you," Kurt smiles, leaning in to kiss at his lips. 

*  
"It's a hut! It's still a hut!" Kurt shouts as he bounces happily along the walkway holding tight to Blaine's hand. 

"Of course it is," he laughs indulgently. "You told me you wanted to come back here on honeymoon and you wouldn't let me book a nicer place- even though we could have afforded it."

"I didn't want to go anywhere else," Kurt explains. "Hawaii means a lot to me, but it's this place specifically." Snatching the key card from Blaine he bends to pick him up, laughing when Blaine does the same. "Hey!" 

"I want to carry my husband over the threshold," Blaine explains. 

"And I want to carry my husband."

"Well one of us can do it here, one of us can do it at home."

"Okay," Kurt grins, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and laughing when he scoops him into his arms. 

"Jeez. How many cupcakes did you eat yesterday?" Blaine grunts. 

Kurt laughs, swatting at his chest, "Blaine!"

"Well here's to a very happy honeymoon, Mr. Hummel-Anderson."

"Why thank you, Mr. Hummel-Anderson," and Kurt can't help but giggle and kick his feet in Blaine's arms as Blaine takes the key card and flinging the door open, carries him inside."It's even better than I remember!" he cries happily, jumping from Blaine's embrace and darting between the bathroom and the bedroom before flinging open the sliding doors. "Ah! Hut, beach. Beach, hut."

"Your exuberance is exhausting," Blaine laughs as he falls onto the bed. "And very endearing."

"Beach..." Kurt starts, standing outside and facing the ocean. "Hut," he steps inside, "husband." In one swift jump he is on the bed, straddling Blaine who quickly pulls him down into a kiss. 

"How am I exhausted to the depths of my bones, yet incredibly horny?" he marvels. 

"Because this honeymoon is gonna be filthy," Kurt grins wickedly. "We could well end up apart for the remainder of the summer so I intend to have my fill before real life gets in the way once more." 

"Ugh. Real life. Do we have to?" Blaine groans. 

"Not for two whole weeks we don't, no." Kurt teases along the collar of Blaine's shirt with his fingers before coming to rest at the buttons. "For the next fourteen days and nights, you and I belong to each other. No work, no phones, no emails, no interruptions. Just...time together."

"I like the sound of that," Blaine smiles happily, pulling Kurt down into a long lazy kiss. "Where do we start?"

"Right here, right now." 

They spend so long making love that the sun is almost completely over the horizon when they step out onto the beach together, though the evening is balmy and they only need shorts. They sit on the sand, watching the remainder of the sunset with Kurt leaning back against Blaine's chest. 

"We should eat...or something," Kurt murmurs.

"Hmm. Do you want to walk up to the restaurant?"

"No."

"Do you want room service?"

"No."

"Do you want me to shimmy up that palm tree and pick you a coconut?"

Kurt laughs, turning to face him. "Now that I would love to see, but I'm not sure how efficient the Hawaiian Fire Brigade is at getting frightened middle aged men out of palm trees."

"I am not middle aged!"

"Near enough," Kurt shrugs, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. "All the tell tale signs are there."

"Oh like what?" Blaine laughs, loving their game.

"Hmm, well I can see some gray..." Kurt teases, turning Blaine's head this way and that in the dusk. "Which I have to say is devastatingly sexy, as are the glasses, though they too are a sign you're becoming decrepit. And then there's your stamina..."

"My stamina is perfectly fine, thank you," he laughs, tackling Kurt back onto the sand and lying on top of him. "Good, even."

"I'm not so sure, old man," Kurt muses, his eyes dancing with merriment. "We only had sex four times last night, and you slept for nearly the entire flight here."

"So did you! We were exhausted."

"No, I was just feigning sleep so you didn't feel bad."

"Oh, I see. Uh-huh." Blaine tickles him, making Kurt yell his protest as he squirms on the sand. "Were you also feigning the snoring and the line of drool that trailed from your lip to my shirt?"

"Yes!" he squeals helplessly. "Yes!" 

"And I suppose you were disappointed that our sex marathon this afternoon was only four hours instead of five?"

Kurt writhes some more under Blaine's touch, tears of laughter running down his cheeks. "Totally....ahhh! Let down," he screams. 

"So I'm guessing that you won't want to go back to our room and take a shower together for fear of exhausting me, huh?"

Kurt sits upright immediately, eyes wide and sparkling. "Race you." 

They step under the spray, still breathless and laughing with Blaine pushing the now wet and flat hair out of Kurt’s eyes. They kiss lazily, tongues exploring one another’s mouths as the warm water rushes over them and Kurt’s hand reaches around to grab at Blaine’s ass. 

“Oh no you don't,” Blaine grins wickedly against Kurt’s lips. “You’re all mine, Mr. Hummel-Anderson. All mine.”

Falling to his knees, he kisses a trail along Kurt’s thigh as he groans above him and tangles his fingers into Blaine’s wet hair. “Yes...” he murmurs happily, throwing his head back for the water to cascade over his face as Blaine licks a line the length of his shaft. “Oh fuck. My husband is too talented with his tongue.”

“Want me to stop?” Blaine asks, kneeling and looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t you dare.” Kurt guides his head back in place and Blaine relishes his fingers gripping his hair tightly as he dips his head and takes Kurt as deep as he can, working his tongue over his cock before sucking hard, then soft, then hard again as Kurt unravels and cries out. 

“Oh my god, Blaine! Oh my god!” 

Blaine looks up through his lashes, smiling around Kurt’s hard cock at the sight of his husband, head thrown back in ecstasy and eyes screwed tightly shut. Pulling back for a second, he sucks on two of his own fingers before trailing them back to Kurt’s entrance and returning his mouth to his cock. 

“Fuck Blaine! Yes! Take me, suck me....Holy shit....yes...”

Kurt becomes louder and louder, torn between fucking himself backwards onto Blaine’s fingers or forward into the warmth of Blaine’s mouth and his exquisitely talented tongue. In the end Blaine decides for him, grabbing the top of his thigh with his free hand and urging him further down his throat as he relaxes and takes him deeper than ever. 

“Shit...Blaine...I....yes...more....just...more.” 

A sharp twist of Blaine’s fingers produces a whine of desperation from Kurt as he grazes over his prostate again and again, causing him to surge forward so Blaine’s face now rests against his pelvis. “Ahhh, I'm gonna come...oh shit Blaine...I’m gonna come so hard I...”

Blaine swallows every drop even though his throat is burning and his eyes are watering, and Kurt stutters above him before falling back limply against the wall. “Fucking hell,” he says weakly, opening his eyes to find Blaine still kneeling on the floor, his cheek resting against Kurt’s thigh as he looks up at him. “My gosh you are so beautiful,” Kurt murmurs softly, his hand caressing along his jaw. “Here, let me...”

“No,” Blaine cuts him off and it’s only then that Kurt notices he’s stroking his cock, keeping his eyes trained on Kurt the whole time. “Please. Just stay there and watch me.”

“Yeah?” Kurt smiles, smoothing a curl back into place. “You like that? You like me watching you on your knees, jerking off because you tasted me?”

“Yes,” Blaine nods eagerly and swallows hard. “You taste so good, Kurt.”

“Can you still taste me on your tongue, Blaine?”

“Yeah...oh yes.”

“Go on Blaine, come for me.”

“Gonna...ahh...” is all he manages before his face is pressing into Kurt’s groin and he’s spilling onto the floor, sighing with deep satisfaction. Kurt kneels in front of him, kissing him gently and bringing his head to rest on his shoulder. After a while they finally manage to stand and wash each other without a word, drying off in large fluffy towels before Blaine helps Kurt into a robe and kisses his lips lightly. 

“Room service now?”

“Definitely,” Kurt chuckles, heading back into the room and grabbing the menu. “Hmm...I want the biggest burger I can find. And fries. A huge pile of fries.”

“I remember when we first met and you told me you only eat salad,” Blaine laughs, wrapping his arms around him from behind and studying the menu with him. “I have never known such a pile of crap in all my life.”

“I wanted you to think well of me,” Kurt says, not looking at him as his ears turn pink. “I didn't want you to know how much I really ate. I think that lasted about a week.”

“I think better of you knowing that you share my appetite for good food. Where’s the fun in eating alone while you pick at a lettuce leaf?”

Spinning in his arms Kurt turns to face him, “Blaine?”

“Hmm?”

“You jerking off like that was so hot.”

“Oh.”

“And that's all I have to say about that really. But I wouldn't mind seeing it again sometime. Or a blowjob like that again.”

“Ha!” Baffled, Blaine shakes his head, drawing Kurt near and kissing his cheek. “I have to say, I've never known you so vocal.”

“Because we’re usually kissing,” he grins. “But I couldn't really help myself. I was wondering though...”

“Go on?”

“If tomorrow could maybe be a sex-free day? I mean I love it,” he rushes on, turning red as he struggles to enunciate his feelings, “but we have had quite a lot recently and I’m um...well I’m exhausted and I fear I may stop functioning altogether if we carry on at this pace.” 

“Does that mean you retract your statement about my advancing years and dwindling stamina?”

“Yes,” he mutters, staring at the floor.

“Kurt?” Blaine lifts his chin gently, kissing his lips sweetly. “I am absolutely fucking worn out. No sex sounds perfect to me. Just make sure it's replaced with lots and lots of cuddles instead, after we’ve stuffed our faces with burger and fries.”

“Oh thank god,” Kurt says, his face breaking out into a huge grin. “And cuddles? Yes! I will always welcome cuddles.”

They fall into an exhausted sleep right after dinner and don't surface until the sun is high in the sky, taking their breakfast out onto the beach where they lie on a sunlounger in each others arms. “I wanna take you somewhere this afternoon,” Blaine says quietly. 

“To paradise?” Kurt quips. 

“Behave. No sex until tomorrow. I want to take you somewhere that I hope will be really special to you, but if we get there and you don't like it, promise me you’ll say, and we can turn around and come right back, okay?”

“Well now you have me worried,” Kurt says in confusion. “I can’t think why you would say something like that.”

“Just promise.”

“Okay...” Kurt says, eyeing him warily. “I promise.” 

*

“Oh.” Kurt’s eyes go wide when Blaine pulls the hire car into the parking lot and he sees the sign. He feels Blaine’s eyes on him, watching, waiting, wanting to speak but also wanting to give Kurt time to process things. In the end he just reaches across and places his hand on Kurt’s knee instead, and Kurt is grateful for the touch. “Uh...Are we here to..to...”

“Swim with dolphins? Yeah.” Blaine’s voice is soft and quiet, soothing in a way which reassures Kurt, but he still finds himself blinking rapidly as the tears threaten. “You need a moment?”

Kurt nods, looking through the windshield as he releases a shaking breath. “Ah....I didn't expect this,” he sniffs. “I’m guessing you spoke to dad?”

“I did,” Blaine confirms. “But actually we were just chatting about nothing in particular and I mentioned that I was planning on booking this for us, and he told me.”

“About Florida?”

“Yes.”

“We were so excited,” Kurt smiles though two tears roll down his cheeks. “I mean, we were excited for Disney world of course, but it was the dolphins more than anything. Mom and I...we...we used to sit in her bed discussing it. And y’know? I think she still believed she would get there. I don’t...” he pauses, shaking his head softly and wiping at his eyes. “I don’t think she would have lied to me, have led me on like that. She wasn’t that type of person. I just think maybe she didn't realize how sick she had gotten. Dad knew, of course. He knew we’d never get there, but he didn't know how to break it to me.... to either of us. Of course, when she had gone the first thing I asked him was if we would still be going to Florida, and he just shook his head. The day of her funeral was the day we were supposed to be swimming with dolphins.” 

Blaine pulls him into his arms as best he can, and lets him cry, hands rubbing over his back as he whispers soothing words in his ear. Eventually Kurt pulls back, offering him a trembling smile as he gratefully accepts a tissue. 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says into the quiet. “I should have told you before. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to surprise you I just...”

“No,” Kurt says firmly. “No, it's better this way. If you had told me before then I wouldn’t have even entertained the thought, whereas now I'm sitting here contemplating it.”

“You think you want to?”

“Oh I know I want to,” Kurt says as he clutches Blaine’s hand. “I’m just terrified.”

“Of what?”

“Of crying my heart out.”

“Oh Kurt.” Blaine sighs, shifting and twisting this way and that to get into the passenger seat, manhandling Kurt until he sits in his lap and he can wrap him in his arms. “If it helps at all, I’ve booked a private session. It’s just going to be the two of us with the trainer.”

“And the dolphins.” Kurt deadpans. Blaine laughs when he sees the sparkle in his eyes once more, even though he still looks sad. 

“Rumor has it they’re a pretty important part of the whole swimming with dolphins experience,” he says, resting their foreheads together. “But we don't have to do this. We can go back to the hotel- or hut as you like to call it- and laze on the beach. Or we can drive into the mountains and take a walk...”

“I’d like to do both of those things,” Kurt says quietly. “But right now I want to do something I’ve always wanted to do, and I can’t think of a better person to share it with than my husband.” 

He clings tightly to Blaine's hand as they enter the water, and Blaine smiles, putting his arm around him instead and kissing his shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah....yeah," Kurt nods, swallowing over the lump that rises in his throat the second the dolphins come toward them. A few tears escape, but when Blaine snaps a picture of one dolphin nuzzling Kurt affectionately, his eyes are bright and his grin is wide. He shrieks happily as he swims in the lagoon, with Blaine following him, equally as excited and finally relaxed. "Oh my god Blaine I want a dolphin!" 

"I want a cat."

"Dolphins are way better," Kurt laughs as he pets one. "Think of the kudos having a dolphin for a pet would get you." 

"Okay Kurt...I will happily buy you a dolphin for a pet as soon as you find somewhere in our apartment to keep it." 

"You could sleep on the couch?" 

"Ignoring you!" Blaine laughs, turning to kiss the dolphin instead. 

"Excuse me ma'am?" Kurt calls to the trainer, "Is it acceptable to trade my husband of forty eight hours for one of these? He's very well trained and quite a good swimmer."

"No," she smiles. "But if you two hold hands and then hold their dorsal fins I'll get a picture of you as you go around the lagoon together."

"Come on," Blaine sighs. "I guess we'd better look like we're in love. For the sake of the animals, at least." But they laugh loudly together when they're taken around the lagoon, and Blaine thinks he's possibly never seen Kurt look happier. 

By the time they leave it is with great reluctance, and only when Kurt has adopted a dolphin and made a large donation to their conservation using Blaine's credit card. They return to the car and Kurt scrolls through some information on his phone before driving away. 

"Back to the hut?" Blaine asks.

"Actually no. It's my turn to take you somewhere." 

They drive for a while, Kurt pulling over to check his directions once before they set off again, and it is dinner time when they pull into a beach parking lot. "I know you're hungry, cause I am, but just wait here a moment," Kurt says, leaning over to kiss his lips and giving Blaine no further say in the matter, he is gone. 

When he returns he is wearing quite possibly the most garish Hawaiian shirt Blaine has ever seen, and he carries a matching one in his hand, along with two lei's. "Where on earth did you find that?" Blaine laughs. "I have never known you wear anything that doesn't coordinate, even sleepwear."

"We have to wear shirts for dinner," Kurt smiles, holding open the car door for him. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Shrugging, Blaine pulls the shirt on and lets Kurt slip a lei over his neck. "Where are we going?"

"To a luau," he grins. "Tons of food, drink and dancing."

"Wow," Blaine grins happily as he is tugged towards the beach front restaurant with music already playing. "Awesome."

Seven courses, two cocktails and one hula dance later, Blaine pulls his husband into the shadows of a large palm tree, kissing him tenderly before holding him tight. "I just needed to," he explains softly as Kurt nods his understanding. 

"I know."

"And I need to thank you for today," Blaine continues. "I know we both enjoyed it, but what made me happiest- in a weird way- was your vulnerability. Because you weren't afraid to show that side to me. You didn't try and hide it, there was no snarky comments or anger before you finally admitted what was wrong...you just...let me see right away that you were worried and upset, and I think that helped us both enormously." 

"I'm glad I did." Kurt's arms drape over Blaine's shoulders as he closes his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed with it all. "I think...I think you make me want to show that side of me to you because you always know just how to make it better. And actually, I didn't spend the whole time thinking 'I wish mom were here,' I spent the whole time knowing she was watching from somewhere and loving every second as much as we were. I think...no...I know she would approve of my choice of husband," he says, opening his eyes to smile into Blaine's. "Thank you for giving me such a wonderful experience," he whispers quietly. "Thank you for loving me." 

Their kiss is sweet, long and languorous, tongues just running out to caress each others lips as Blaine's hands cradle Kurt's face. "I know we said...." Kurt starts, but Blaine is already taking his hand and leading them toward the car. 

"But sometimes need is greater than want."


	34. Chapter 34

"And it would have to be raining," Kurt gripes as they walk back through arrivals. 

"I know," Blaine moans, not even having the heart to try and put a positive spin on this to cheer his husband up. "Plus you have to shave ready for your meeting tomorrow, which totally sucks ass."

Kurt does smile at this though, flushing pink as he remembers how much Blaine loves his stubble scratching against his ass cheeks while he's rimming him. "I've done quite a lot of that in the past two weeks," he says quietly. 

"Huh?" They step outside the airport, Blaine searching distractedly for a cab. "Done quite a lot of what?"

"Ass sucking."

"Oh my god!" Blaine cries, laughing as a cab pulls up. "Kurt Hummel-Anderson, I cannot believe you just said that!" 

"Actually," Kurt carries on once Blaine has loaded their bags into the trunk and slides into the seat next to him. "I've done a lot of everything. No stone left unturned." 

"Well there is one..." Blaine muses, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Oh?"

"I really wanna watch you masturbate," he whispers hotly in his ear, laughing darkly at the bright red stain which spreads from the tip of Kurt's ears, over his face and down his neck. 

"You've seen... me...finish myself off before..." he says into his neck. 

"I know. But I'm talking me sitting there, watching you give yourself all of the pleasure." 

"Okay."

"What?" Blaine sits up, staring at Kurt in surprise at how quickly and readily he agrees. 

"Yeah. I know that's your...thing. And I know how hot I found it when you.... So yeah. But I'm not going to tell you when. I reserve the right to total surprise."

"Absolutely fine by me," Blaine grins, settling back with his arm about Kurt's shoulders. "I have the best husband ever."

Although feeling despondent at having to return from honeymoon, the couple are happy to be back in their apartment once more, and once Kurt has carried his laughing husband over the threshold, they unpack quickly before soaking in the bath together. Kurt takes some time to select an outfit ready to meet his potential new agent the next day while Blaine tries to call his parents house but getting no reply, calls Wes instead. 

"Hey! You're in one piece. Good time?"

"The best," Blaine smiles. "Like really, truly, the best. Are mom and dad with you? I keep trying to call them but there's no answer."

"Uh....no," Wes stutters, immediately causing Blaine concern. "I um...I think you should call Cooper."

"What? Why?" Blaine asks, his voice rising and causing Kurt to come out of the bedroom and urge Blaine to put the phone on speaker. "If you know why they're not home, why can't you tell me? You always tell me stuff."

"I uh...I can tell you.... But it might be better to hear it from your brother. He knows more than I do...."

"Tell me." 

"I feel like I've let you down," Wes whispers, voice full of shame. 

Blaine speaks through gritted teeth, his heart pounding with fear. "Tell me."

"It's your dad," he says softly, wincing at Blaine's sharp intake of breath. "He's alive, it's important you know that before I go any further. But the day after the wedding he...he...he had quite a big stroke. He's still in hospital in LA, he's not strong enough to travel yet."

"But...but...but why didn't anyone tell me?" Blaine asks, his voice small and childlike as Kurt guides him to the couch and holds him tight. "No one called me...."

"Your mom didn't want us to. I'm sorry Blaine but I agreed with her. I know you, and I know Kurt. You would have flown right back, and none of us wanted you to miss your honeymoon. The doctors stabilized him quite quickly, really it's just the long road to rehabilitation now." 

Blaine's voice comes small, lost and afraid. "But that's my daddy."

"I know," Wes' voice cracks as he speaks. "And I'm so sorry for you...for all of you. But in a way I guess it's better he was in LA, at least Sara has Cooper and Claire to lean on..."

"So is he...I don't know. Is he expected to get better or...?"

"He won't make a complete recovery. It's affected his left side mainly, but they think his brain function is good, just some slight short term memory loss. But he will need a walker to get around, and he won't be able to stay on his feet for too long, in fact he's not walking at all at the moment. When I was there at the weekend he was just starting to learn how to transfer from bed to chair again, and the doctor said they're really pleased at his improvement. His speech is still quite slurred, but you'd be able to understand him."

"You were there at the weekend?"

"Yeah. I stayed for a couple of extra days but I had to get back to work, so Kathy stayed on. I flew out this weekend and last, and I'm going again on Friday with Burt and Carole." 

"Kathy's still there?"

"Yes, but she's coming home with me on Sunday."

"Thank you," Blaine tells him sincerely. "If Kurt and I couldn't be there I'm glad you and Kathy have been."

"I let you down," Wes whispers, "I should have taken time off but it was finals and..."

"Wes, you've done all you can, and yet again you, and now Kathy have stepped up for me. I mean it, thank you." 

"I'm so sorry this has happened, Blaine," Wes says, and Kurt's silent tears start when he realizes Wes is crying. "I mean I know age happens to us all but..."

"But to be reminded of the fragility of life still feels like shit."

"Yeah."

Kurt sits patiently until they finish their conversation then holds open his arms for his husband to curl into his embrace, smoothing his hair while he sobs and rages about the unfairness of it all. "I know, my darling, I know," Kurt soothes. "But he's alive, and we must cling to that. We'll fly back to LA tomorrow, right after my meeting, is that okay?"

Blaine shakes his head, "I'll go. You stay here. You need to be around for auditions and..."

"And I need to be around to hold my husband," Kurt smiles sadly. "We will go to LA, and see what happens. I don't know but maybe we could look into getting some kind of nurse to help your mom at home for a while? That might help him to get home sooner."

"If he knows there's a fit, nubile young nurse waiting for him, he'll be walking all the way back to Ohio," Blaine laughs through his tears. "That's a really considerate thought, Kurt. Thank you." 

The majority of the evening is spent on phone calls then, as Blaine calls Cooper then Kurt calls his dad. By the time Blaine has finished his conversation with Santana, and Kurt has said a quick hello to Rachel, who tells him she's got a final call back for Maria Von Trapp, the pair fall wearily into bed and cuddle close. 

"I'm so sorry we had to come home to this," Kurt says in the dark, kissing into Blaine's hair. "Do you feel any better after talking to Cooper?"

"A little," Blaine tells him, burrowing deeper into his neck. "I guess it's like when he was sick, I'll feel better once I've seen him with my own eyes. Cooper did warn that he looks very fragile, but says he's managing to say a few words at a time." 

"He'll get better, honey."

"I don't know."

"He will," Kurt says firmly. "He's strong, and he has everything to live for. He told you last time that he wasn't going anywhere until he had seen all his grandbabies, and I know he will have meant it."

"It's not for him to decide though, is it?" Blaine says bitterly. "It's for some other force or being, or just our own bodies to decide when enough is enough, and no amount of wanting can keep us alive."

"I disagree. I mean, there comes a point where your body gives out, yes. Like my mom. But for a long, long time before that she kept going. She didn't want to leave me or dad and she held on as long as she could. You'll know, and he will know, when it's time. The right time. Just as we did. But I'm telling you, he's not ready to say goodbye yet, and he would be annoyed that we're even having this conversation, so I'm gonna shut right up."

"Do you think he'll go soon?" Blaine whispers, and Kurt sighs at the feeling of Blaine's tears on his bare chest. 

"I don't know," Kurt admits. "And I don't think knowing our own expiration dates would be in anyway useful. I just know that he will be fighting back because he loves you all, and he knows how much he is loved."

"I'd fight for you."

"I know you would. You always have, and you always will. That's why I married you. I remember sitting in my kitchen when I was just sixteen, and I told you I wanted a man who would fight to get me and fight even harder to keep me. That's you." 

"I like how you take care of me," Blaine murmurs, kissing his chest lightly. "You make me feel safe."

"And I can only do that because you do the same for me," Kurt says, blinking back the tears he can feel threatening. "We'll always be here to care for one another. I guess that's quite a comforting thought."

There is no response from Blaine, only a light snoring sound as his dreams take him under until the early hours when he wakes calling out for his daddy, having dreamed that he was a little boy once more and lost in a large department store. Kurt sits with him, soothing and reassuring him over and over until he's sleeping once more, not stirring until the alarm goes off a few hours later. He finds Kurt in the kitchen, already showered and dressed and staring at a plate of toast as if willing it to disappear without him having to actually digest it. 

"Sorry."

Kurt startles at Blaine's voice, a bright smile finding its way onto his face as he gets up from the table and kisses his lips before pouring his coffee. "No need to be sorry," he says in confusion. "What have you got to apologize for?" 

"For falling asleep on you, then keeping you up half the night, then sleeping in this morning and not being there for you. It's your big day. I should be focusing on that, not wallowing in misery."

"Well if it helps, I'm wallowing in misery too," Kurt says, sliding his coffee across the table, and it is only then that Blaine can see his red rimmed eyes. "But please, don't apologize. You were my rock when my dad was in hospital, now let me be the same for you."

"Are you nervous for today?" 

"I'm not actually," Kurt says, an element of surprise creeping into his voice as he realizes. "I feel like whatever happens, happens. I have nothing to lose, put it that way." 

"True, but a lot to gain. Now, I'm gonna go shower, and when I return we'll put all thoughts of dad to one side to focus on you, and I will have my 'worlds most supportive husband' hat firmly in place, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt smiles. "But if you ever actually do get a hat like that, please know that I will disown you." 

*

Kurt rings the buzzer for office thirteen- an omen if ever he saw one, and steps back to wait. No voice comes over the intercom to greet them, but they are buzzed into a dingy hallway with a steep flight of stairs rising in front of them. 

"No." Blaine's voice is firm as he tries to guide Kurt back out the door. "No way."

"Yes way," Kurt says, shirking out of his grip. "This is the only chance I have. You met her, she seemed...well...abrupt maybe...but okay. She might sign me and put me on the road to success. Everyone has to start somewhere, right?" 

Blaine says nothing, only trails Kurt reluctantly up the stairs where they enter a cramped room to find Martha Fisher sitting behind a desk with papers piled haphazardly all over it. Faded pictures of aging tv, film and theatre stars adorn the walls, but Kurt decides not to ask if she actually represented Richard Burton or just displays his picture because of his face. 

"You came," she says in surprise, gesturing for them to sit. "I didn't think you would."

"Really?" Kurt smiles politely. "Why is that?"

"Too much of a snob. Thought you'd scout out the office, take one look and run."

"Yes...well...it's not our usual area, I must admit," Kurt says tightly. "But everyone needs a base." 

“Have you ever thought of going into modelling?" Martha asks abruptly. "You know, with those eyes and cheekbones...”

“No, thank you,” Kurt answers with a tight smile. “I just want to do musicals.”

“Suit yourself,” Martha shrugs. “But you could make a lot of money.”

“Kurt doesn't need money,” Blaine interrupts, earning him a sharp look from his husband. “He’s doing this for the love of it, not for a paycheck.”

“And you are?” Martha asks. Her words sound polite and ever so well meaning, but there is an iciness in her eyes as she speaks. 

“I’m Kurt’s husband,” Blaine says proudly. 

“Oh. Oh! Well you know...” she pauses, squinting at him before framing both their faces with her fingers. “They could photoshop some of the gray...You two could make a killing together.”

“Thank you, but no,” Kurt says firmly. 

“Fine,” she says with a shrug. “But I have to be honest here Kurt; if it’s theatre work you want, you’re gonna struggle. You have a beautiful voice, don’t get me wrong, but no director worth his salt is going to cast a counter tenor as male lead. Flying monkey number three, maybe. Council member in hairspray, possibly. But you’re never going to be the next Raul, or Marius.”

“How dare you!” Blaine explodes. “Kurt is amazingly talented. He...”

“That’s as maybe, Mr.....Husband,” Martha says with disdain. “And I’m not disagreeing. I’m just stating facts. Why would someone cast Kurt as male lead when he can sing higher than his female co-star?”

“Ms. Fisher,” Kurt says with forced politeness, his back rigid with tension as he speaks. “I am good. I know I am good. If you take me on, I will work hard for you.”

“I don’t doubt that, kid. But you’re not like other guys. You look gay, for a start, and your voice gives you away the moment you speak. The majority of theatre actors are, in all honesty. But you wouldn’t necessarily know. They can be camper than a boy scout jamboree when they're not in work, but on stage they can create chemistry with a girl that has every audience member on the edge of their seat. I don’t get that with you. When I was watching your showcase with your Juliette I saw a girl with her gay bff, not a tragically passionate romance playing out before my eyes. Why would we believe Fiyero is falling for Elphaba when he can hit the high F better than her?”

“Look, I thank you for your honesty, but I just want to know if you’re prepared to represent me or not?” Kurt says, his voice heavy with defeat. 

“I’ll take you on,” Martha nods. “And I can get you work, for sure. But it will be chorus work, you have to realize that. And it probably won’t be the parts you’re wanting. You’re gonna have to work harder than most to make it, hon. The only way you’re gonna get your big break is by some undiscovered yet immensely talented writer falling in love with you and creating a role for you. You need to be somebody’s muse.”

“Well I’m taken, so that’s out of the question,” Kurt says forcefully as he squeezes Blaine’s hand. 

“Then start with modelling, become the next fashion icon and break into acting that way. Announcing a career change at the height of success works well for a lot of celebrities.”

“I don’t want to model,” Kurt gets out through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to be a celebrity either. I just want to sing, and dance, and act on stage night after night. It’s all I want to do. It’s all I know how to do.”

“Well that’s not true.”

“Be quiet, Blaine,” Kurt snaps, the color in his cheeks rising as he feels tears threatening. “Just...give me a chance. Please.”

“Okay,” Martha sighs as she opens up her laptop. “I’ll get the contracts prepared and email them over to you.”

“Kurt,” Blaine hisses at him. “Are you seriously going to do this?”

“Not now, Blaine.”

“Ms. Fisher, please excuse us for a moment,” Blaine says politely. “I just need to talk with my husband in private.”

Dragging Kurt out into the narrow hallway, he lowers his voice to a whisper. “What the hell? You’re going to sign with her?”

“I don’t have much choice,” Kurt says, resolutely avoiding Blaine’s eyes. 

“Yes you do, my darling boy,” Blaine says kindly. “We can go see other agents. It’s not like...”

“Who?” Kurt asks, voice cracking with emotion. “There are no other agents, Blaine. I’m not like Joe. I didn't get six agents clamouring for my attention right after my showcase, or like Rachel, an invitation to audition for the Sound of Music revival. I didn’t get anyone except Martha. And for whatever reason, she’s decided to take a chance on me. So I’m gonna sign, and I’m gonna prove her, and everyone else wrong. I’ll do this, Blaine. I will.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Blaine says as he pulls him close. “I love you always, just remember that. And I’m so incredibly proud of you.”

“Thank you,” he sniffs as a tear escapes. “I think I really needed to hear that right now.”

“Let’s go tie things up in there then we can go for lunch before our flight, huh? Celebrate you getting signed.”

“I’m not sure there’s much to celebrate, but yeah," Kurt smiles with watery eyes.

“There will be, gorgeous boy. There will be.”

By the time they land in LA Kurt is feeling much more positive, mainly thanks to his husband who has been giving him a constant pep talk since they stepped out of the agent's office. He turns his phone on while Blaine sorts their car, and sees he has a missed call from Martha already, calling her back excitedly. 

"Kid! You got an audition."

"Already? Wow!" Kurt laughs. "What for? And when?"

"Calm it. Touring production of Calamity Jane. Chorus member. The audition is Friday."

"But that's the day after tomorrow!" Kurt cries in despair. "I can't make it. My Father-in-law is sick, I'm in LA and..."

"Kid I don't care if you've lost both your legs, you'll be there."

"But the tour...how long?"

"Five weeks. Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma and Kansas."

"Are you actually kidding me?" Kurt dead pans.

"No, why? You feel you're above that?"

"No, no," he says rapidly. "I just...ugh. When does the tour start?"

"Monday."

"Monday?!"

"It's already underway actually," Martha says offhandedly. "But they've had to fire a few dancers, so are hiring new ones. I'll book you in and text you the time." 

"You okay?" Blaine asks when he returns to find Kurt staring at the phone in his hand. 

"No. We need to talk."

Blaine stumbles slightly and leans against the wall. "My dad?"

"No! Oh no, sorry Blaine....sorry. I should've made that clear. No. It's um... Martha called." 

He tells Blaine everything, and by the time he's finished they are sitting in the hired car together with Blaine staring quietly through the windshield, trying to make sense of it all. 

"I don't have to go," Kurt says with a gentle touch to his arm. 

"No...you do, you do." He turns to him, trying to hide the pain in his eyes. "That's fine. We knew this would potentially be the case. Of course, we didn't factor in all of this," he says gesturing around him. "But why would we? We weren't to know. No...you go. Honestly."

"No, I'm not going to," Kurt decides. "I don't have to. I don't need to. We don't need the money, this isn't going to get me a broadway lead...no. I'd just be doing it for me, rather than us."

"Kurt..." Blaine sighs heavily. "Look. Do I want you to go? Of course not. But in two weeks time if my dad is well enough, I'm supposed to be going on tour anyway. Are you going to be happy sitting at home in Chicago, or trailing me along the east coast, waiting in hotel rooms all day? You know the answer. And you're too good to just sit in my shadow. You wanted this career and now you're getting a real shot at it. Yes, the timing sucks ass, and we both know five weeks will be hell. But we're married now...we have all eternity."

"And what if I get home and there's another tour waiting?"

"Then you do it. This is your job, Kurt. You are an actor. You have to go wherever the work is. If I'd stayed in Ohio there's no way I would be playing in the Symphony, is there?"

"I guess not but....but I feel like being your husband is my job, first and foremost. My most important role. And I just don't see how I can do that effectively if we're hundreds of miles apart all the time." 

"You can and you will, because you're perfect for me," Blaine smiles. "On the bright side, both our tours will finish at around the same time, so we can meet again in Chicago for hopefully more than one night this time." 

"I'll be with you in New York..." Kurt starts, but Blaine cuts him off quickly.

"No you won't. You and I both know that's not going to happen," he says with a sad shake of his head. "But it's okay..."

"No, I'll be there..."

"Kurt. Please. Don't make rash promises that you can't keep because you'll end up hating yourself. I will be fine. It's three days in New York, just like last year. I can manage."

"This really fucking sucks," Kurt cries, allowing himself to swipe at his tears of self pity. "I hate life."

"No you don't. Now come on, let's go and visit dad." 

*

They get to the hospital where Sara and Cooper are waiting to greet them. Kurt hugs them both tight, but he can tell Sara is holding back, trying to keep herself composed for the sake of her youngest son, who now looks positively terrified as they walk down the corridor. 

"He's probably sleeping," Cooper is explaining, but Blaine isn't hearing his words at all. "When he does wake up, it's important that he doesn't see you're alarmed by his speech in any way. The doctor said we must all carry on as of there's nothing out of the ordinary at all, otherwise it could frighten him and cause another stroke." 

"You two go in," Sara says kindly. "We'll wait out here."

Kurt nods and pushes open the door to the darkened room, tugging Blaine gently inside. Mike Anderson lies there, looking small and vulnerable in a hospital gown. He is not sleeping, just staring at the ceiling, but he turns his head slightly at the noise- and Kurt realizes in horror that he's unable to turn any further. He steps forward, into his line of vision and pushes Blaine forward, who is now shaking as he tries hard not to break down. 

"....Laine," his dad croaks, his mouth barely moving to form the word. It's too much for Blaine, who shakes his head and tears from the room. Knowing Cooper will catch him, Kurt tries to act nonchalant and smiles brightly, drawing up a chair and taking Mike's right hand. 

"Hey Mike! Good to see you again."

Mike blinks hard, and Kurt's heart lurches when he sees a tear escape. "Laine."

"He's uh... Well, you know how he is," Kurt says with a light laugh, but it seems to echo off the walls and reverberate around them. "That is he...well he's not very good with sick people. Not that you're sick," he adds hastily.

"Am...." Mike says. "Can't....sss...sss...eak."

"Can't speak?" he asks, and Mike nods. "Well I can understand you just fine."

"Like you," Mike says with a twitchy sort of smile.

"I know. I've always been your favorite," Kurt teases, and takes the funny bark from Mike to be a laugh. 

He prattles on about their honeymoon, and tells Mike all about his audition until a red-eyed Blaine returns with an apologetic smile and makes to sit on his other side. 

"Here," Kurt says with a pointed look. "Sit this side." 

Blaine falters, but sits and takes his dad's hand, bowing his head for a moment before looking up at him. "So..." he begins, "Cooper says that I'm not to draw attention to what happened...but you know, don't you?"

Mike attempts a nod. "Sss...sss..."

"Stroke?"

"Mmm."

"Yes," Blaine nods. "And I'm sorry I got so upset and ran out like that but...but I can't stand seeing you like this."

"Nor mmmm...me." 

"You're my dad, you see," Blaine says, pausing to kiss his hand. "I love you so much, and I'm not ready to say goodbye to you yet."

"Plus, the pressure on Blaine and I to provide you with a grandchild is kinda wearing thin," Kurt interjects, making everyone smile. "So if you could lay off getting sick for a while, we'd really appreciate it."

Mike tries to laugh, and his smile is as wide as he can manage, but it results in a line of drool falling from the slack left hand side of his mouth, which Kurt tenderly wipes away without a word. 

"I...I..." Mike tries, making a frustrated noise when the words won't form.

"You what, dad?" Blaine asks as he moves to sit on the bed. "Try and whisper, it might be easier."

"I'm not leaving you," he whispers, satisfied with his effort. "Love you all too much." 

Blaine says nothing, but curls up on the bed next to his dad and pulls his arm around his shoulders, and Kurt stands, kissing his forehead before stepping out of the room to give them a moment alone. He finds Sara in the corridor, who explains that Cooper has gone home. 

"Well it wouldn't be a hospital visit without our cafeteria visit," he smiles, offering his arm. "Shall we?"

By the time evening approaches, Mike's room is filled with all his family and Kathy, and the doctor calls in to ask to speak with Sara. "Oh yes...," she says with a worried glance at her husband. "I'll just..."

"Cooper, why don't you and Blaine go with your mom?" Claire asks. "We'll all stay here, I'm sure the twins can give grandpa a lesson in how to use an iPod or something." 

They trail down the corridor again, this time to a small office where the doctor motions for them to sit. "So...we're thinking that Mr. Anderson could possibly be strong enough to transfer back to Columbus stroke rehab on Monday," he says with a smile. "His heart is certainly strong enough for the flight, and he will be on a special air ambulance so he won't need to sit, he can lie on a stretcher. I would envisage him staying in there six to eight weeks for intensive rehab, by which time we would have a much clearer indication of his expected level of recovery. But I have to say- all things considered- he's doing really well." 

"He's gonna be okay?" Cooper asks hopefully.

"It depends what you mean by okay," the doctor says warily. "Like I said before, he will need a walker to get around, and long distance walking will be out of the question, as will driving. But his speech will most likely return to almost complete normality. It's the smaller things, like the grip in his left hand for example, that will probably not recover too well, but overall...for a man of his age...yes. He'll be okay. Certainly capable of holding that baby he seems to keep on about," he says with a smile as he looks at Blaine. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Oh!" a baffled Blaine looks very surprised. "That's not...we're not...no. No babies yet. He's just hopeful, that's all. My dad has a tendency to get overexcited." 

"Well long may it continue," the doctor says as he shakes their hands. "And I have to say, he's incredibly lucky to have such a supportive family.

"Well my dad's kinda awesome," Blaine says, his hand finding his mom's and squeezing tight. "Loving him is a pretty easy job." 

*

"I think I might go back with mom for a few days," Blaine muses that night once they're tucked away in the pool house. "You'll be gone anyway, and I think if I explain to Riccardo he will understand. I just feel like I don't want her to be alone just yet."

"I agree," Kurt says, kissing into his hair. "I mean, she's back to calling everyone darling, but she still looks distraught, which is completely understandable. I have to say though, I'm looking forward to seeing your dad again tomorrow. Even as sick as he is, he makes me smile."

"Yeah. I was thinking...why don't we fly back tomorrow night? It will give us one more night together before you leave, and a night in your own bed before your audition. You're not gonna want to step off a plane and go right there."

"Wait a minute..." Kurt sits, pushing him from his chest and staring at him in the dark. "You're coming back with me?"

"Of course I am. I'll see dad on Monday anyway. I'm not ready to be parted from you just yet." 

"I don't have to go," he says, lying down and taking Blaine in his arms once more. 

"We've been through this," Blaine says as he shifts to hover over him. "You're going. Now give me something to remember you by."


	35. Chapter 35

"Please," Blaine whispers desperately. "Please don't."

"I know," Kurt sobs through a cascade of tears. "I'm sorry. I'm trying. Really."

"I know." Clutching the phone tighter, Blaine rolls onto his side, biting hard on his knuckles to keep from breaking down altogether. "Soon, yes? We'll be together soon. I love you so much."

"I know you do," and Kurt allows a small laugh to escape. "I still can't believe you flew to Albuquerque for less than twenty four hours, you goon."

"It was pure selfishness, I can assure you," Blaine says, a squeaky and tearful laugh filling his voice. "I simply couldn't have lasted five weeks without you. Tell me about your day?"

"I'd really rather not," Kurt sighs. "It's the same old story. Everyone is fed up with everyone else. I'm pretty sure Kerry and Richard are having an affair, and it's only a matter of time before Lyndsey- that's his wife- finds out. Derek asked me out again, and again I said no, the air con on the bus isn't working and our audience figure for last night reached the dizzying heights of thirty seven. See? Same old."

"Oh Kurt," Blaine sighs. "Why don't you just rent a car like I've been telling you? You can drive yourself between venues, and book yourself into better hotels while you're at it."

"Because I want to do it this way. I'm still hopeful that somewhere among the cast and crew I might find a friend of some sorts, other than Derek who just leches at me. I don't want to alienate myself even more. But enough about me, how's your tour going?"

"Oh...um..yeah. It's okay," Blaine says dismissively.

"You can tell me the truth, Blaine," Kurt sighs. 

"It's going good. Better than good, actually, it's amazing."

"I'm happy for you," Kurt says genuinely.

"Really? Cause I'm conscious that I don't want to make you feel even worse..."

"No. Actually it's really nice to hear that at least one of us is enjoying the summer."

"I wouldn't go as far to say I'm enjoying it," Blaine says, the upset still evident in his voice. "That won't be the case until we're back together." 

"So what do you have left?" 

"Two here in Pittsburgh, then two in DC, a day off, one more in DC then three in New York."

"Then home."

"Then home," he says, letting out a contented sigh. "For a restless twenty four hours until my husband is back in my arms where he belongs."

"And then we leave for Ohio," Kurt points out.

"Yes. Three nights at home then we're off again, but at least it's together this time. Are you sure your dad and Carole don't mind us staying?"

"Not at all. Your parents place will be pretty crowded with Cooper and his brood, plus Joe, I hear."

"I feel for Maddie and Tay," Blaine says, trying to stifle a yawn when he notices it's gone one in the morning. "I'm not sure they envisaged spending their sweet sixteen at their grandparents house, but although dad is doing so much better, there's no way he'd manage the journey."

"Actually, Taylor seemed pretty excited on Facebook the other day."

"Ah yes, I forgot you youngsters have all these magical and mysterious ways to communicate with each other."

"I'm not sure I'd call Facebook mysterious," Kurt laughs. "I put our wedding pictures on there the other day, you should take a look. Rachel liked and commented on every single one."

"I can imagine," Blaine smiles. "I'll take a look tomorrow."

"So are you seeing her or Santana when you're in New York?"

"Santana is in Chicago for the summer actually," Blaine tells him. "Her and Lacy have found jobs tending bar somewhere, and seem happy enough. I'm taking Rachel out for lunch, but that's about it."

"Oh."

"I'll be okay, Kurt."

"I know you will," Kurt says lightly. "You're a big boy now." 

"Will you dream of me tonight?" a wistful and now sleepy Blaine asks as he turns out the light. 

"As always," Kurt smiles softly. "You sound so tired tonight. Let me sing to you, for a change."

"I'd like that," Blaine says, feeling sudden warmth flaring in his heart. "Sing me a love song." 

"Have you ever been in love?" Kurt's voice sings softly as Blaine closes his eyes contentedly.   
"You could touch the moonlight  
When your heart is shooting stars  
You're holding heaven in your arms  
Have you ever been in love?....."

*

A week later and Blaine climbs from the tour bus when it pulls up at the Four Seasons in a stiflingly hot and humid New York City. His usual happy and animated chatter has disappeared, indeed Ken and Riccardo- easily his closest friends in the orchestra- have noticed he's been off since their final performance in DC, opting to sit by himself on the bus and staring disconsolately out through the window for the duration of the journey. 

"Blaine!" Riccardo calls as they collect their bags. "We go bar, yes? You like bar?"

"No, thanks, Riccardo," he says with a sad smile. "I'm just gonna go up to my room." He swallows over the lump rising in his throat, shaking his head slightly when his vision starts to swim before his eyes. "Kurt," he mumbles to himself, hoping he can make it to his room and call him before he passes out. "Need Kurt."

"Blaine, buddy, you okay?" Ken asks with concern, noticing the way he wobbles on his feet as sweat beads at his brow. "Want me to bring your stuff for you?"

"Kurt," he repeats, a little louder as he starts to panic and rushes toward the hotel, knowing he will throw up any second. He pushes through the doors, whirling around in a frenzy to find the bathroom, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. A strong arm guides him across the lobby, pushing open a door just in time for Blaine to hurl the contents of his stomach into the toilet until he can heave no more. He sinks to the floor, gratefully accepting the bottle of water offered without looking up, still waiting for his vision to correct itself. "Stupid fucking city," he murmurs angrily. "I hate this place."

"It's three days, Blaine. We can do this."

Blaine's head snaps up so quickly he is unable to see a thing, but the voice is enough. "Kurt?"

Crouching on the floor next to him, Kurt smoothes his unruly hair back from his forehead and kisses his lips gently, not caring one bit about the vomit on his breath. "The one and only." 

"You came."

"I told you I would. You said I wouldn't, but I knew I'd never let you be alone. I love you, Blaine. More than anyone or anything and certainly more than a crappy role in a really shit musical," he smiles and kisses his cheek. "So I'm here."

"You quit?"

"I quit. I had five performances left. We arrived in Tulsa yesterday and I just thought what is the point in all this? This isn't where I want to be, these people aren't who I want to be with. I haven't slept properly in days, knowing you were potentially going to have to face this without me. And I knew, in that moment, that I had to get to you. So here I am." 

"But...all that work...for nothing..."

"Not for nothing exactly," Kurt corrects. "I'll get paid two thirds of my fee, plus it's taught me a rather invaluable lesson, which is that I am never taking a role in a touring production run by a menopausal woman again." 

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever let anyone look down on you, or make you feel inadequate because of your age, okay? Because I am telling you, you are my rock, my shelter from the storm and my safe haven. I love you for this. I love you for many things, of course, but I love you more than ever for this." 

"Let's get you upstairs," Kurt says quietly, blinking back tears of happiness at Blaine's words. 

"I can't... I don't think. I can't see properly. Ken has my bag....could you go ask him for my glasses?"

"That's just cruel," Kurt smiles. "You'll be naked before we hit the elevators."

Blaine laughs, suddenly feeling so much better. "Please. I promise to be on my feet by the time you get back."

Kurt obliges, retuning to find Blaine upright but clutching onto a row of sinks. Slinging his arm around his shoulders, he encourages Blaine to lean heavily on him while they walk to the elevator, Ken following with the bags. Once they're in the room Blaine falls heavily on the bed, assuring Ken that he's fine, but a couple of minutes later Riccardo barges in in his own inimitable style. 

"Blaine! Rehearsal in the ballroom. Thirty minutes. You miss it."

"Huh? I didn't miss it. It hasn't happened," he says in confusion.

"No. You... Kurt, how you say it?" Riccardo asks exasperatedly.

"Fool," Kurt offers. 

"Fool," Riccardo says happily. "You fool, miss rehearsal. Stay here and sleep. Not sexy sleep," he laughs, slapping Kurt on the back as he heads toward the door. "Sleep, sleep. You good enough anyway. I see you for dinner. And you, Kurt."

"C'mere," Blaine calls to Kurt the second the door is closed. 

Kurt walks toward the bed, a smile playing on his face as he looks down at his husband. "He was right," he tells him as he curls up next to him. "You need to sleep. I love you, but you look terrible."

"Thank you."

"I mean it Blaine. You need to rest. When was the last time you slept properly?"

"Our last night together in Chicago probably," Blaine muses. "I've been too worried about you ever since."

"Why? We've spoken daily."

"I know. But you've been so down about it all, and I was really hoping this would be a magical summer for you." 

"Well the wedding was pretty magical, and the honeymoon was all kinds of spectacular," he jokes lightly. "Blaine...it may not have been perfect, in fact it pretty much sucked ass the entire time. But this is my career now, and it's a learning curve. In time I'll learn what kind of job to accept and when to walk away. Now please, rest. I intend to have my fill of you tonight after dinner, and that can only happen if you're not tired out."

Blaine chuckles as he rolls onto his front. "Is that a threat or a promise, husband of mine?" 

"Both." 

The three days they have in New York move quickly. When Blaine is in rehearsal Kurt spends time with Rachel and she proudly shows him around the theatre she is working in, and her large dressing room filled to the brim with fresh flowers. He and Blaine attend her matinee, and although Kurt is jealous, he has to admit she dazzles as Maria, and he can see how much she is loving the role from the way her face shines and her eyes sparkle. But nothing makes Kurt prouder than watching Blaine perform. He pours his heart and soul into every piece. Every note played holds meaning and passion, and Kurt is once again moved to tears. He notices others comment too, and can hear his husband being congratulated over and over again as he stands by his side and sips his cocktail quietly, smiling and nodding in all the right places. 

"Home tomorrow," he says quietly to Blaine when they find themselves a second alone during the farewell party. 

"I cannot wait."

"Same. I vote we lock that door and don't emerge again until we leave for Ohio."

"Would that involve large amounts of nakedness?" Blaine asks with a cheeky grin.

"Of course. In fact, we could start with that right now." 

"Oh. I can't." Blaine's face is apologetic when he sees Kurt's smile falter. "I'm sorry. Riccardo wanted to talk with me about something, and I need to introduce myself to the conductor of the New York Philharmonic."

"Okay," Kurt nods, not liking, but understanding. "Sure. You do all that and I'll go talk with Gill for a while."

Blaine touches his arm gently. "Sure?" 

"I'm sure." He forces a bright smile. "The night is young, yes?"

"Yes but..."

"But if it happens again it doesn't matter," Kurt whispers into Blaine's ear. "I told you that yesterday and the day before. I understand, and I am more than content to just hold each other Blaine. Really."

He loses sight of Blaine, opting to sit in the large armchairs with Gill where they discuss anything and everything except her children, and Kurt as always is grateful for her tact. Conversation turns to fashion, as it invariably does with the pair of them, and Gill asks if he knows a good dressmaker. 

"I need another ball gown made," she explains. "It's hard to buy one off the rack because I'm so short. When we were in London a few years back I was rather extravagant and had five made. The trouble is, with this darn orchestra there's so many events that call for evening dress....and I can't keep repeating outfits."

"I could make you some dresses, if you'd like?" Kurt offers. "I mean, I like doing it, and I made all the wedding outfits without too much trouble."

"Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that, you're far too busy."

"Trust me Gill, I'm really not. Honestly, I don't mind. Call me when we're back from Ohio," he says. "We can arrange a time for you to come over and discuss designs."

"You're a sweetheart," she smiles brightly. "Ken and I always say how wonderful you and Blaine are. We feel so lucky to have met you."

"Aw thank you," he blushes. "Talking of Blaine...I think he's all but disappeared."

"No, here he comes," Gill says as she spots Blaine striding purposefully toward them. "And he looks very happy about something."

"Good evening Gill," he says politely, and Kurt realizes what she means. Blaine is positively beaming, bouncing on the balls of his feet as his eyes dance with happiness. "Would you mind if I borrowed Kurt for a moment?"

"Not at all," she laughs, standing and patting his arm. "I should go and find my own husband actually."

"Take a seat," Kurt gestures, but Blaine shakes his head.

"Not here." He pulls Kurt from the room, keeping silent until they're back in their bedroom where he takes a second to rub over his face, turning to Kurt with a grin. "What I'm about to tell you can go no further until it's formally announced, okay?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"Well of course," Blaine jokes right back. "But also.... Leona is leaving." 

"And you're happy about that?" Kurt asks. "I quite liked her." 

Blaine laughs loudly, kissing his lips and sliding his arms around his slim waist. "You are the world's worst listener. I'm sad she's leaving, she's a really nice woman. But she's moving to the east coast. Anyway...what it does mean, is there is an opening for first violinist....and therefore orchestra leader."

"Oh shit, not another audition."

"No!" Blaine laughs, gripping Kurt excitedly. "They're going to hold auditions for second violin instead, because they want me to take her role."

"Her....you mean....orchestra leader...first violin...."

"Yes!"

"Holy shit!" 

"I know!" Blaine shouts, unable to hold it in any longer as he jumps on the spot excitedly "and that's not all......and this is huge....like really huge.... Our holiday concert this year is Handel's Messiah with Chicago Chamber Choir. Riccardo wants me to play the organ."

"Can you play the organ?" Kurt asks quickly.

"Of course!"

"Then oh my god this is amazing!" Kurt cries, laughing as Blaine picks him up and swings him around. "I'm so getting laid tonight!" 

"You completely are!" Blaine laughs before kissing him fiercely and falling onto the bed, tugging Kurt on top of him. "Right now, in fact." 

"Uh-uh...not yet!" he laughs, leaning down to kiss at his lips. "We are calling for champagne and celebrating properly. Oh Blaine!" he squeals, clapping his hands excitedly. "I am so proud of you! So ridiculously, insanely proud! 'What does your husband do for a living?'" he prattles as he climbs off the bed and grabs the room service list. "'Oh not a lot....y'know...he's just the leader of the Chicago Symphony orchestra and plays Handel on the organ...that's about it really."

"You haven't even had champagne yet and you're already giddy," Blaine laughs. 

"Yes, because my husband is the most majestic, the most talented, the most splendidly awe inspiring and the most sublime musician there ever was."

"And my husband is the world's most fabulous actor," Blaine tells him as Kurt scoffs. "It's true. I think we make quite a wonderful pair." 

"Now that I can agree with." 

By the time two champagne bottles lie empty, both Kurt and Blaine are sprawled on the bed in just their underpants, their game of strip poker abandoned as they laugh hysterically at something- though they cannot remember what. 

"My tummy hurts from laughing," Kurt says with a hiccup. 

"Same," Blaine tells him before bursting into helpless giggles again. "An when I close my eyes like this the whole room keeps spinning." 

Their laughter subsides to become contented sighs until Kurt reaches across and taps Blaine on the shoulder. "Kiss me. It's been too long since you kissed me and now I'm offensive."

"Offended?" Blaine offers.

"That's the one."

"'Kay, one kiss coming right up." He rolls over in search of Kurt's lips but rolls the wrong way and hits the floor with a thump. "Ouch." 

"What the hell?" Kurt laughs, scooting over to look down at him. 

"I missed."

"I noticed." Leaning down, his kisses his tummy before giving up and falling to the floor altogether, nuzzling over him and kissing up his chest.

"S'nice," Blaine murmurs, resting his arms behind his head and closing his eyes contentedly. "More please."

"Can I blow you?" Kurt asks hopefully, running his tongue over a nipple for good measure.

"Uh-uh. My dick doesn't work in New York."

"Yes it does," Kurt argues back. "It's just you who thinks it doesn't work, that's all. It's worked plenty of times before." Sliding lower, he nuzzles his face into Blaine's groin, noticing that he is half hard already. "And anyway, even if it doesn't, or you don't want me to do that...whatever...I like this," he says, working his mouth over the outline of his cock, teasing his fingers along the waistband of his briefs. "I like breathing you in."

"Gross."

"Not gross," Kurt murmurs with a light tap to his thigh. "You're you. The one I want to be with, the one I'm meant to be with. You taste and smell delicious and yummy and...perfect." 

"You always taste good," Blaine says, voice hitching when Kurt runs a hand over his now erect penis. "I like tasting you....Kurt..." A small whine of desperation finds it's way into his voice and he lifts his hips eagerly for Kurt to slide his underwear down his legs. 

Kurt stops, mouth right by Blaine's balls as he looks up, all wide blue eyes and rosy pink lips. "Yes Blaine?"

"Fuck," Blaine breathes, looking down at him and trailing a finger along his jaw. "Sixty nine with me." 

"Anything you want," he says with a sly grin. He sheds his underwear quickly, turning around and shifting himself into position. "You okay down there?"

"Your cock is beautiful," Blaine says in awe as it nudges his chin. "I want it." 

Kurt says nothing, only reaches to the nightstand and takes a large swig of champagne before engulfing Blaine, who throws his head back for a moment to cry out. "Jesus fuck! Oh shit that's good!" 

Kurt is not perfect, the majority of the champagne dribbles down Blaine's cock, but he pulls back and swallows before licking him clean, moaning in pleasure when Blaine takes him deep in his mouth. They manage to work into some kind of rhythm, which in their drunken state works perfectly for them, and Kurt fondles at Blaine's balls, feeling them tighten under his touch. When he feels Blaine's thumb running over his hole, the pressure firm and insistent, he knows he is pretty much done for, and takes Blaine as deep in his throat as he can in an attempt to stave off his impending pleasure for as long as possible. But the second he feels Blaine spurt into his mouth he comes instantly, long hot and hard, swallowing around his husband before pulling off with a gasp, digging his fingers into his thighs as Blaine sucks him dry. Rolling on his back to the floor, he pushes his feet teasingly into Blaine's face, who laughs and squirms under his toes. "One dick returned to full working order," he sighs happily as Blaine chuckles louder. 

"One drunken husband who needs to drink some water then curl up in my arms."

"Two drunken husbands," Kurt corrects, staggering to his feet and rummaging in the mini fridge for water. "Giddy at being together again. Talking of which.... When?"

"When what?"

"Are you off again?"

"Ah..." Blaine sobers somewhat when the topic he's been trying to avoid is finally raised. 

Kurt hands him the water, eyes darkening as he sits on the floor next to him. "Come on. Out with it." 

"There's no holiday tour this year," he begins. "But there is one at the start of the New Year."

"Great," Kurt mutters angrily. "Where?"

"Europe. It's a month."

"A month!" Kurt shrieks, the alcohol making him loud and shrill. "A whole month? Wonderful. So I'll just sit at home waiting for the phone to ring while you flounce around Europe being the apple of everyone's eye, lording it up at cocktail receptions, fancy dinner parties and meeting mayors, politicians...probably even royalty. I can't wait." 

"I was going to ask you to come with me," Blaine says quietly, Kurt's hurtful words sobering him up. "You always said you wanted for us to travel together and this seemed like the perfect opportunity." He shakes his head and stands, collecting their champagne bottles and placing them neatly by the door before climbing into bed, turning out the main lights and leaving just the small lamp on Kurt's side of the bed. "If you feel that way about it all though, just forget it." 

"Blaine, I..."

"Just forget it Kurt." 

But neither can, and they lie in uncomfortable silence for over an hour, listening to the muted rush of the New York traffic down below, their bodies stiff and uncompromising as their stubbornness refuses them permission to melt into each other's arms. Kurt knows it has to be him to make the first move, but he takes his time, figuring everything in his own head first, silently congratulating himself on his rationality and not pushing headlong into an argument. Eventually he reaches a tentative hand out in the dark, finding Blaine's forearm where he touches lightly. 

"I'm sorry."

There is no verbal response, just a short nod, but it's a slight invitation to continue and Kurt seizes on it right away, turning on his side to talk to Blaine's profile. "I said some hurtful things and I apologize," he continues, "I didn't mean them. I'm feeling bitter at my own lack of success and jealous of yours. I'm not even going to try and hide it. But I do love you, and I am so incredibly proud of you. It's foolish of me to be jealous, I know. And the worst part of it all is that I only feel jealous up to a point. Because actually, I enjoy sharing in the success with you. I love the fancy hotels and the money certainly, but the best part for me is listening to people talk when they're leaving the concert halls, or reading the reviews in the press. I swell with pride. That's my husband, that's my man. It just... It just feels like everyone around me is doing well, being successful. You, Joe, Rachel...and you know it's only a matter of time before Santana gets noticed. But that's my problem to deal with, and I should never have taken it out on you. I'm really sorry." 

"You shouldn't have taken it out on me, no..." Blaine begins slowly. "But I do understand. Please try and remember though, that this hasn't come overnight for me, it's taken years of hard work and dedication."

Kurt sighs heavily. "I know." 

"But I'm your husband, Kurt. And I want to be there for you. Hell, you've been there for me more times than I care to count- and these last three days are the best example I can think of. Let me help you through this, let me support you. Talk with me, tell me your feelings. Don't snap them at me in anger because we neither of us are in the right mind to deal with them then." 

"You're right," Kurt agrees, reaching out to run his fingers along his jaw. "Of course. And I'll try to do just that."

"Then I accept your apology and demand that you now sleep in my arms as I requested just a few hours ago," Blaine smiles, pulling Kurt close and kissing his lips. "I love you endlessly, just remember that."

"Always," Kurt replies, snuggling in and twirling a stray curl idly around his finger. "Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I come to Europe with you?"

"I can't think of anything better."


	36. Chapter 36

After their brief sojourn to Ohio, where both are astounded at how well Mike is recovering from his stroke, they settle into married life quickly and easily. For both Kurt and Blaine it's as if everything and nothing changes all at once. On the surface, things remain the same. Blaine goes to work, comes home in the afternoon to sit and write and goes to perform in the evenings when required. Kurt comes and goes, attending auditions, read throughs and taking small parts in whichever productions he's lucky enough to get cast in. But underneath their day to day life the change is deep, profound, almost intangible yet very much real to both. The comfort, the security, the sense of finally having crossed that finish line and now starting a new chapter of their lives together. And of course, the pride at being able to call each other their husband. That never fails to make them smile, revelling in the warm feeling that flares in the pit of their stomachs and spreads all the way to the tips of their fingers and toes. 

Summer moves into fall and then into winter, and both are completely astounded by a phone call from Rachel asking them to be the only witnesses at her City Hall wedding to Finn. Of course, they gladly attend and Blaine insists on paying for an extravagant dinner afterwards, but Kurt still can't quite believe that Rachel chose something so completely....un-Rachel-like. 

"I'm moving back," she explains to them both, holding her new husband's hand tightly. "Well... To Columbus, anyway."

"What?" Kurt cries, completely amazed. 

"Finn's been offered a job at a high school, and I approached OSU about teaching theatre. They offered me a job on the spot."

"You're quitting Broadway at the top of your game?"

"Yes." She smiles up at Finn who pats her hand proudly. "I always knew I'd come home to him," she says quietly. "I always knew." 

"I'm happy for you," Blaine says, leaning across to kiss her cheek. "I can tell this is what you want, and I'm really pleased it's all worked out so well. OSU will be lucky to have you. And Finn, you will make an excellent teacher."

"Thanks Blaine. Yeah... I'm pretty excited."

"I'm... I'm... Well I don't think I'll ever be over this," Kurt says with a shake of his head. "I want to say how can you throw away your dreams like that, but I can see you're not throwing them away, are you?" he asks Rachel who shakes her head. "You just went and found new ones."

"I did," she nods. "I achieved what I always wanted to, which was to play Fanny on Broadway. I was lucky enough to get lead in two more amazing productions, but that's it for me. I want to make a life with the man I love, and we belong in Ohio together." 

"I don't know where I belong," Kurt says to Blaine once they're on the Chicago bound red-eye. 

"With me," he says confidently, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"I know that...but...but...you belong in your classical music world. Do I belong in the theatrical world?" 

Blaine sighs, sitting upright and turning to face him. "I honestly don't know, Kurt. I want to say yes, of course you do...but..."

"But I don't get any work."

"It's not that. You do get some work, but it's not..."

"It's not the roles that I want."

"No. And I have to say, whatever doubts I had about Martha, she does get you the auditions; but for whatever reason it's just not working out the way you hoped. And I know how much you hate doing chorus stuff the whole time. So...no...maybe you don't belong there. Maybe you belong in fashion, or teaching drama to kids. Maybe you're more suited to tv...you know Martha seemed pretty set on that commercial for you, but you refused to go to the casting."

"Because it was for jeans, Blaine. No speaking. I'd be nothing more than a model, which I really, really do not want to do. I enjoy fashion, you know I do, and I loved that summer I did at camp but....but it's not where I see my career."

"Where do you, then? Tell me...if you could do whatever you wanted, all obligations to me, your family or anything else aside, where would you be and what would you be doing?" 

"West End or Broadway," he says without hesitation. "I'd be playing the lead night after night, in Wicked or Les Mis...maybe even Phantom." Sighing happily he allows his mind to run away with him for a moment before the bubble bursts and he looks at Blaine once more. "But that's not going to happen, is it?" 

"Not immediately, no," he says, offering a small conciliatory smile. "But you only graduated back in May. I'd say we're still newlyweds, wouldn't you? Which means, by comparison, that you are still a newbie to the professional theatre world too." 

"I don't know," he sighs. "I just don't know if it'd be easier to quit now, forget all about it and find new dreams like Rachel did." 

"You don't find dreams, Kurt," Blaine explains, smiling at him indulgently. "They find you. Thrust themselves upon you until you can't ignore them any longer and you just have to chase them...rather like you and I."

"Yes, I'm quite good at thrusting," he says with a grin.

"You are. And I couldn't ignore you, I had to give chase. Listen Kurt, I know you- probably better than I know myself. Rachel found new dreams once she had achieved the first ones. You're not going to be happy until you've given this a clear and concise shot. We leave for Europe on January fourth. When we return, look on it as starting over. New auditions, new roles...look at it all with fresh eyes. If, after...I don't know, six, eight months, you're still as disillusioned then we'll talk about where to go from there." 

"Good advice."

"Always listen to your husband," Blaine says with a grin before kissing his cheek and pulling him in for a hug.

*  
Blaine is formally announced as the new leader of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra at their holiday concert on Christmas Eve. The evening is a huge success, made all the more special for Blaine by having his parents and in-laws in the audience along with Kurt. His organ skills for Handel's Messiah- which have given Kurt no end of innuendo filled jokes for weeks- are outstanding, and he receives his own standing ovation. He greets everyone very briefly afterwards, eyes filling with tears when his dad manages to sound the B of his name for the first time since his stroke. A firm hand on his shoulder guides him away to a private reception with the mayor and senator of Chicago, and Kurt is left to wait for his return. 

"He's a busy boy," Burt comments as they all settle into the theatre bar. 

"He is," Kurt agrees. "Not that I mind," he rushes on. "I mean, he's living his dream, right? That's what we all want to do."

"A...a...and are you living yours?" Mike asks, reaching across to take his hand. 

"Not yet," Kurt smiles ruefully. "But I will be. I guess my biggest dream was to marry him, and I can at least say I've achieved that, and it's everything I expected and more." 

"Darling," Sara says, kissing his cheek as she sits next to him. "You'll get there. It took Cooper years. Years and years. Of course, that's probably because it took him so long to actually grow up," she muses out loud. "But it will happen for you Kurt. Really, it will." 

"That's very sweet," he smiles.

"Besides," Mike interrupts. "You...you...your biggest dream sh..sh..should be having me to stay for the holidays. You got that one." 

"Yeah, I totally lucked out," Kurt laughs with a roll of his eyes. "You know, that speech therapist has done wonders with you," he says with a wicked grin. "I almost wish she hadn't bothered." 

"Oh darling, don't even get me started," Sara says. "He's back, alright. Yelling for his dinner, asking me to fetch this, that and the other."

"When in reality you should be trying to do all that yourself," Carole interrupts with a pointed look at Mike, who shrugs and grins at Kurt. 

"S...S...Sara likes to feel wanted," he explains.

"Wanted, yes," she says with a smile. "Not used." 

The joking conversation between the five of them does at least make Kurt happy, and time flies quickly. By the time Blaine returns over an hour later, cheeks flushed from his success, Kurt, Carole and Sara are on their second bottle of wine already. 

"Save us," Burt implores him. 

"You started without me," a crestfallen Blaine says across the table to his husband.

"Well what did you expect us to do?" Kurt asks, one eyebrow raised. "Sit around twiddling our thumbs? It's not all about you."

"Oh that's the way this is gonna go, is it?" Blaine can feel his anger rising but seems powerless to stop it when Kurt rolls his eyes at him. "You're gonna be a bitter drunk? I think I'll just go home."

"I'm not a bitter drunk," he snaps at him, forgetting about their parents presence. "But neither am I a trophy husband. I'm not going to sit here and wait for your return before I have a drink. We were having a perfectly pleasant evening until you arrived, now either sit down and join us or leave." 

Blaine pushes back from the table and heads to the bar, making Kurt flare red and call out. "Don't you dare buy whiskey, Blaine! Don't you dare." 

"Um...well...I think we're just going to head back to the hotel," Carole says, standing and clearing her throat as Kurt sits mutinous. She kisses his cheek quickly before taking charge of Mike in his wheelchair. Sara pats his hand and heads to the bar to say goodbye to Blaine, leaving him alone with his dad. 

"Kurt I..." 

"Dad, please don't," Kurt says, staring straight ahead and not daring to look at him. "I'll cry otherwise, and I just don't think I can handle that. Just....go back to the hotel and I'll see you in the morning."

"Will you two be okay?"

"Yes," Kurt nods firmly. "Of that I have no doubt. But it still sucks when we fight like this." 

"He can't help it, you know," Burt says gently. "With a position like his comes huge responsibility. He's expected to attend these things. I don't know why he got upset that you'd been drinking without him, but I'm guessing he was probably a little hurt that he couldn't be with us all evening. A reception with the senator might sound very glamorous and exciting, but it doesn't necessarily mean that's where he wants to be. Blaine's a daddy and momma's boy. You know how much he loves his time with them, and time with you is what he loves more than anything, Kurt, just remember that."

Kurt sighs, leaning his head on his dad's shoulder, "I know. Thank you though, because although I may know this, I don't always remember it."

"Cause you're more like me than we both care to admit," he says, kissing the top of his head briefly. "Now I'm gonna go help Mike into the car. We'll see you both in the morning." 

"He's hurting, darling," Sara says softly to her son as he stands at the bar. 

Blaine hangs his head, welcoming her hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "What am I supposed to do?" he sighs. "I wonder if the only way he'll be happy is if I quit this altogether. He hates me getting any kind of praise or attention."

"No he doesn't," she says firmly. "And you know that's not true. But jealousy is a powerful emotion, Blaine, and he's only twenty two. He's having to work and strive to achieve even the tiniest bit of success right now, and from where he's standing, it's all just falling into your lap. It's hard to deal with that. But you and I both know that he doesn't begrudge you any of it, and he would be devastated if he even heard you mentioning quitting because of him. Now for goodness sake, get a drink, go and sit with him and thrash this thing out. I'll see you in the morning." 

"Beer. Happy?" Blaine snaps as he sits opposite his husband.

"Not really, Blaine, no."

"But why?" he implores. "I don't get it. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you like that, and I apologize. But you said you were having a nice evening and then you go snapping at me saying it's not all about me and how you're not a trophy husband, but I never set out to make you feel like that, Kurt. Never. I'm doing all I can to make you happy but it just doesn't seem to be enough." 

Kurt shakes his head, unable to speak as to his horror he feels tears pricking at his eyes. He stares at the table, willing them to go away but when the first one splashes onto the wood he knows he is done for. Seizing his hand, Blaine tugs him from the bar, out into the lobby of the concert hall, now near deserted. 

"Blaine!" a voice calls, making Kurt wince. 

"Not now, Riccardo," Blaine calls to him. "Kurt doesn't feel too good and I need to get him home. Can I call you?"

"Ah! No worries!" the Italian calls back. "I just want to say have good day with family tomorrow. I see you New Years. We party in your apartment, yes?" 

"Yes," Blaine smiles. "Have a Happy Christmas, Riccardo- Lucia and Jules too."

"Thank you. And Kurt be better!"

Kurt nods, still staring at the floor and he finds himself grateful for Blaine's arm around his shoulders as they head outside to find a cab. They don't speak all the way home, where Kurt allows Blaine to divest him of his jacket and shoes, placing them neatly in the hall closet with his own before leading him into the living room. "Here." One simple offer, of arms wide open has Kurt running to him, clutching his shirt as he cries hard and Blaine guides him to the couch, rubbing small, comforting circles on his back as he soothes. 

"It's not you," Kurt chokes out through his tears. "You're not the reason I'm unhappy, and please don't ever think that. It's...it's...it's watching you entertaining senators and mayors, it's watching Rachel becoming a theatre professor because she's already achieved her biggest ambition. It's Joe calling to tell me he's going to the Bafta's and the Oscars next year. It's Santana announcing she's moving here to be with Lacy, and bam, she's cast in Alliance's next dance production...it's all of this and me...just waiting and waiting for a chance." 

"Kurt, we talked about this just a month ago, and we agreed that you'd look at it afresh after Europe," Blaine says, huffing and puffing until he's maneuvered Kurt into his lap where he belongs. "But if it's making you this unhappy then quit, now. I can't stand to see you like this, and if it was me who made you feel this way I'd be telling you to quit me, too."

"It's not, it's really not!"

"I know, and I'm glad, cause I'm never quitting you. But it's just a job, Kurt, that's all. No one should have a job that makes them this unhappy."

"The job doesn't, though," Kurt cries. "That's just it! Some of the companies I've worked with have been crap, the people toxic, but the job...the actual job...when I'm on stage, I love it. I thrive. I'm lost in the show and completely immersed in the fictional world being created. But it's everything else surrounding it that I hate, most particularly watching the male leads and knowing I could do so much better. But I don't even get to experience that right now because I haven't worked in over two months, Blaine!" 

"Kurt, that's nothing. Cooper has gone months without work...and I'm talking like nine or ten, not two."

"But when he does work he gets paid a fortune," Kurt points out. 

"Yes, and you know yourself that you get paid well."

"Not like you."

"No, but you wanna know something? My first session gig, doing guitars? I was three months out of college and I thought I had it made. I was paid eight dollars an hour. When I quit session work I was being paid a hundred and fifty. Everyone has to start somewhere, Kurt. You're on the bottom rung of the ladder right now and it will be a long climb, but worth it." 

"I love you so much, Blaine," Kurt says as he sniffs and rubs at his eyes. "I'm so glad I married you, because that's about all I've got right now, and it's the best thing I could have."

"You'll always have me, Kurt. But you are so much more than just our marriage. Don't define yourself by us, or your failures and successes. It's all of that and more that makes you so incredibly wonderful."

Kurt nods, lifting his tear stained face to offer a trembling smile. "Can you take me to bed and make love to me?" 

"I'll take you to bed," Blaine says, kissing away the tears that linger on his cheeks. "But I'll make love to you in the morning, not now. You're still upset, and sex isn't the answer. You need cuddles, kisses, reassurance and rest. I can give you all of that and it will suffice until tomorrow. Besides, Santa will be along soon and he can't catch us awake, let alone in the middle of boy sex. We can't be responsible for killing Santa." 

"You're a goofball," Kurt chuckles through his tears, and he happily lets himself be led to the bedroom, where Blaine holds him tight all night long.

They wake early the next morning, and Blaine keeps his promise, worshipping every inch of Kurt, leaving him a quivering, trembling mess until he comes with a soft cry of his husband's name- who smiles, kissing his lips sweetly and whispering his love into his ear until he follows. After a lazy breakfast in bed they prepare for the imminent arrival of their parents, both bustling around in the kitchen until glorious smells fill the air. 

"I think that's about it," Blaine says as he looks around the room. "Which gives us thirty minutes until they arrive and all hell breaks loose." 

"They won't be that bad," Kurt says as they flop onto the couch together. 

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe Finn and Rachel had the right idea, a cruise around the Bahamas sounds pretty good right now."

"It's their honeymoon," Kurt laughs. "And we should feel smug because we've had ours, and now we're celebrating our first Christmas as husbands."

"That makes me giddy," Blaine grins, sticking his feet in Kurt's lap for him to rub.

"Same." 

"You feeling better?"

"I am," Kurt confirms. "I am sorry, Blaine."

"You don't need to say..."

"You always say that, but I do. I've been pretty difficult at times, these last few months; and I've said some really unkind things to you. I promise I'm going to stop. I'm going to concentrate on you, and Europe until we return, and then I'll see how things go."

"Sounds wise," Blaine answers with his head thrown back and eyes closed. "I wonder who could have given you such a good piece of advice?"

"Be quiet," Kurt laughs, tickling his toes and making him squirm. 

"Seriously, I'm glad to hear you're happier. And I'd like to apologize too, for the way I acted last night. You're not the only one who gets jealous. I hate that you got all the time with our parents and I had to go and attempt small talk with a guy who clearly didn't want to be there. I would have given anything to be with you." 

"My dad said that would be the case."

"Another one you should always listen to," he says, jabbing his toe into Kurt's tummy. 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I give you your gift now?"

He sits, drawing his feet under him as he smiles. "If you like. You want yours too?"

"Not necessarily, you can wait until later if you want, but I just want to..." he trails off, walking into the third bedroom which has now become his sewing room and returning with something behind his back. "I only have one gift for you this year, because it's kind of special."

"Is it a cat?"

"Yes Blaine, because it's very sensible to buy you a cat right before we go to Europe for a month," he answers dryly. "Just be quiet and close your eyes." 

Blaine does as he's told and is rewarded with feeling something dropped into his lap. "Open," Kurt commands, and he looks down to find a violin case in his lap, which he opens curiously and gasps. 

"Kurt...oh my god," he whispers, running his hands reverently over the instrument. "Kurt....is this....is this a Stradivarius?"

"Yes," Kurt answers quietly, enraptured by the look of joy and amazement on Blaine's face. "I know you've always wanted one. Riccardo helped me source it."

"But you..." He breaks off to shake his head, baffled. "What did you? How...? What did you sell?" he asks, looking at his hands to check both wedding and engagement rings are still in place. 

"My soul, I guess," Kurt says with a shy smile. "I've been busy while I've not been working," he explains. "I made Gill her gowns, and she insisted on paying me. Then she asked me to make some for Grace."

"Grace....her daughter who you hate with a passion, Grace?"

"The very same. She was about as thrilled as I was, but she had to admit she was pleased with the finished articles, though I could see it pained her. So Gill gave my number to Maria, Molly's mom and bam...an order for two more gowns. Then Kendra, Abby, Patsy...in fact it's fair to say that nearly all the females, be they orchestra members or spouses will be showcasing a Kurt Hummel original at some point during the upcoming European tour...including the conductor's wife."

"You made a gown for Lucia?"

"Correction, I made four gowns for Lucia, and a tux for Riccardo- though that was more as a thank you gift. He went to extraordinary lengths to get the violin for me. He was a phone bidder at an Italian auction. It was in a very poor state though, that's how I could afford it. He's had it restored for me, and he wouldn't let me pay a penny."

"Kurt....I don't know what to say," Blaine looks at him earnestly. "So when I come home and ask how you've spent your day and you say you've done nothing...."

"I've been sewing like a madman," he says with a shy laugh. "I wanted to give you something wonderful to let you know how incredibly proud of you I am. You have achieved amazing things this year, and I know next year will be even bigger and better, and you deserve it." 

"Thank you," Blaine says sincerely. "I think the greatest thing I achieved was marrying you," he smiles, cocking his head to one side, "and the four rounds of sex. I'm still in awe of myself for that one." 

"Just as well we didn't get married in New York," Kurt quips, making Blaine laugh loudly. 

"I cannot believe you just said that!" he laughs, "oh my god!" 

"Well I did," Kurt grins. "Now play me something on what has to be the world's most expensive piece of wood."

"It's not a piece of wood," Blaine huffs indignantly, but he smiles as he carefully takes the violin from it's case. "I'm gonna call him George," he whispers happily. "Hello George."

Kurt rolls his eyes fondly. "Oh Jesus." 

"Shhh, or George won't play," Blaine says, cocking an eyebrow at him. Picking up the bow he gives a short burst of Vivaldi which leaves Kurt stunned as to how he can play something so complicated without music, but then he returns the violin to its case and leans forward, taking Kurt's face in his hands. "I love you. I can't explain just what a gift like this means to me, but I think you know, because that's why you went to so much trouble to get it- and that is exactly why I love you as much as I do." Slowly, he inclines his head to graze his lips over Kurt's, whose eyelids flutter closed at the touch. Gazing at his face for a moment, Blaine smiles softly before leaning back in....just as their buzzer sounds. 

"Ugh," Kurt sighs. 

Blaine looks to the window then back to his husband. "Well it's not snowing," he says quietly, his lips millimeters from Kurt's. "They can wait on the sidewalk a little longer."


	37. Chapter 37

The orchestra have a triumphant tour across Europe. Riccardo hails it the best one yet, and the critics agree that right now, they’re at the very top of their game. Blaine’s name is everywhere in the classical world, and job offers are made to him in England, France, Germany and Switzerland, but he politely declines them all. 

It not easy for Kurt- playing the role of dutiful and silent spouse does not come easy to him and he has to fight to hold his tongue on more than one occasion. But the one thing that keeps him going above all else is Blaine’s pride in him. He is introduced everywhere, with a firm guiding hand in the small of his back as he greets distinguished guests. If eyebrows are raised, or comments uttered Blaine either does not care or simply chooses not to hear them as he proudly shows off his young husband. 

The time they get together is fun; they meet with Jonathan and Teresa in London for a raucous evening out, and take in the sights with a completely over excited Ken and Gill. They tour Paris on their own, hand in hand as they walk along the Seine with Kurt laughing indulgently at Blaine’s pallor when he suggests the Eiffel tower- and they opt to take ridiculously silly photos of one another at the bottom instead. Riccardo gives them a detailed tour of Rome then Venice, and by the time they reach Berlin in their final stop of the tour, Kurt and Blaine both feel overwhelmed with all they have seen. 

However, there is no escaping the fact that Kurt is lonely. Very few spouses have joined for the duration of the tour, and while Kurt is very grateful for Gill’s company in England and Lucia’s in Italy, he is still faced with spending long periods on his own while Blaine rehearses or attends functions to which he is simply not invited. He pretends not to mind- he knows how upset his husband would be if he realized the extent of Kurt’s isolation, but it’s tough to sit alone in a sumptuous hotel room, or wander the Parisian streets in search of a cafe when all you really want to do is curl up in your husband’s arms and stay there. The thought of returning to Chicago bothers him for the first time ever, and he knows it’s because of the prospect of work. He has already been on the receiving end of a sharp and shrill phone call from his agent, demanding to know what he is doing gallivanting around Europe when he should be attending an audition for Sweet Charity. He apologizes begrudgingly, explaining that he needed to get away, but he is left in no doubt that his contract is on the line if he doesn't pick up work when he returns. 

He is crossing the street in Berlin one day- on his way to the concert hall to meet Blaine for lunch when he sees something which stops him in his tracks. An enormous grin forms on his face and he runs, breathless and exhilarated to Blaine, tugging him outside to see. 

“Look!” he cries happily, pointing to a large billboard and the news stand next to it. “Look!”

“Joe!”

“That’s the poster for his film!” Kurt cries excitedly, “and he’s on some teen magazine!”

“Excellent!” Blaine laughs, grabbing several copies and handing his money over. “I can't wait to tease him about this.”

“If we ever get to speak to him,” Kurt says with a tight smile. “It’s been months.”

“We knew it would be though,” Blaine says, taking his husband’s hand and walking along the street. “It looks like it could end up bigger than we imagined. Text him, maybe he’ll call.”

Kurt waits until he’s back in the hotel, figuring out the time difference and hoping that it’s not too early, but the second his text is sent, a facetime request is lighting up his screen and he accepts to see Joe sitting in bed, hair sticking up in all directions and an enormous grin on his face. 

“Ah, the face of Bliss Girl,” Kurt laughs, holding up the magazine at which Joe grimaces. “What an accurate portrayal.”

“Behave,” he grins, voice rough with sleep. “How are you?”

“Good,” Kurt nods. “I miss you though. It’s been too long since we saw each other.”

“It has,” Joe confirms. “I miss you too. I need you and one of your hugs.” He swallows hard and Kurt notices his eyes are shining. “Actually...maybe FaceTime wasn't a good idea,” he says, shaking his head. 

“Why?”

“Because I can see you but I can’t touch you and in a completely non-gay way, that does my head in.”

“Joe....”

“I mean it when I say I miss you Kurt,” Joe rushes on. “This is all wonderful and like some kind of dream but...but I’d give anything to go back to how things were. Going to class with you, getting coffee and listening to you moan about how Blaine always wins at monopoly. All that time we had together, all those seemingly endless mundane moments....and I didn't treasure them. And now they're gone. We’re never gonna get those back Kurt and I...I’m so fucking lonely here. Surrounded by people yet completely alone. Hollywood ain't a pretty story, I can tell you.”

Kurt sighs, reaching out to touch his screen as his friend chokes on his tears. “Oh Joe. It’s not all bad,” he tries. “Cooper and Claire are looking out for you...”

“They’re amazing,” he confirms. “But I needed to find my own place, not least because a pap snapped me leaving the movies with Maddie, and though Taylor was there too my publicist had to pay a huge sum to stop the pictures being published. She’s sixteen, Kurt. You can just imagine what the story would be.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“I know. So now I’m not allowed in public with them, which sucks because I really enjoyed spending time with them. I still go for dinner whenever I can, but it’s proving to be more and more difficult. I’m sorry,” he says, lifting his face to look into the screen. “I didn’t mean to get so upset. It’s been a long time coming, I guess.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kurt tells him. “I seem to spend most of my time sitting alone and crying, so it’s refreshing to see someone else suffer.”

Joe laughs and sticks out his tongue before turning serious once more. “Why are you crying? Are you and Blaine...”

“Blaine and I are wonderful,” Kurt is quick to reassure. “No problems there at all...except time alone with him is like gold dust.”

“He’s doing well, from what I understand? I’ve been trying to keep up with the tour...”

“He’s doing better than well,” Kurt says, face lighting up with pride. “He’s orchestra leader now,as you know, but Riccardo has asked him to become concert pianist too. They usually use guest musicians, but he wants Blaine to perform some kind of concerto in the spring, and also to play a couple of pieces on the album, which he starts work on when we return. It’s like they've stopped asking or auditioning anyone else, Blaine gets first refusal.”

“And his song is on this album, yes? And yours?”

“His, yes. Mine, no. Too many complications with song rights or something. But that’s fine,” he adds hurriedly. “Riccardo still had me record it for them to use in the future hopefully.”

“So everything’s coming up Blaine then?”

“Pretty much. Joe?” He pauses, biting nervously on his bottom lip until Joe urges him to continue. “Can I be totally honest here?”

“Of course, Kurt.”

“It’s like...I love it but I hate it. I’m so proud of him, and I’m happy his talents are being recognized, of course I am. He’s my husband and I love him....”

“But?”

“But...but...oh crap, I don't even know where to begin, and I’m going to hate myself for saying all this.” Taking a deep breath he closes his eyes and just blurts it all out. “I’m jealous, for a start. I want success like that. I want to be offered jobs without having to audition, or having to prove my worth because everyone already has such supreme confidence in me. I want to be the one introducing him to important dignitaries, not the other way around.   
I hate that so many people want to get their grubby hands on him all the time...like you, I miss how things used to be, when I’d come home from college and he’d be shut away in the music room, then he’d stop what he was doing and come listen to me talk about my day...And I had stuff to tell him as opposed to now when I either follow him around like a puppy or sit in an empty hotel room waiting for his return. If I’m lucky he'll return around midnight, and if he’s still high on adrenaline we might have sex. But most nights he comes in, tired to the depths of his bones and he just takes a quick shower before falling asleep. But here’s the thing, when we’re together- on his days off or when we go on excursions organized for us, it’s wonderful. Everything is perfect and I know that for him, I’m the brightest star in the universe. I don’t doubt his love, his intentions or sincerity at all....and that’s why I feel so shit moaning about it all.”

“But you’re moaning about it because you feel like you have no self worth, am I right?”

“Yes!” Kurt cries, so happy to talk with someone who understands him so well. “You know, my dad and Carole keep on about how wonderful it is that Rachel moved back to be with Finn- but she would never have done that if she hadn’t made it on Broadway in the first place, she would have stayed there until she’d cracked it, husband be damned. I love her, but she is the most self centered person I know. People say that about me, too, but I’m here, in the middle of freakin Germany, trailing my husband around so he doesn’t have to be alone and all the time I’m feeling physically sick at the thought of having to return to Chicago and go through yet more auditions, more rejection, more failure. I feel, honestly, like I want Blaine to say ‘enough is enough, I’ve gotten my dreams, now it’s time for Kurt to have a shot at his,’ but he can’t make those dreams a reality for me. He’s made everything else come true, but he can’t do this.” 

“Jesus. Say it like it is, why don’t you?” Joe says with a soft smile. “Have you spoken with Blaine about this?”

“Yes. We went through it on Christmas, and as ever, Blaine was perfectly wonderful about it all. He understands, he listens and he gives good advice. But the problem lies with me. And it’s not going to improve, is it? Blaine’s still on his way up. I don’t know how long the orchestra can contain him before he gets offered the mega bucks and quits to become a solo violinist or pianist, and if that happens and I’m still sitting here, attending the odd audition whenever some production gets desperate, then I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Well as I see it, you have three choices,” Joe says firmly. “One, you put up and shut up. Hold your tongue, smile sweetly and let Blaine keep you in designer shoes for you to wear to the crappy auditions. Two: You quit acting altogether. Find a new career. Making clothes, designing sets...whatever. Three: You get back home and really go for this. Attend every damn audition going. Take any role you’re offered, even if it means being away from your husband and not attending every concert he’s in. Work the chorus roles, the commercials, the walk on parts...just get your name known, and hope and pray that it all comes off for you. But you have to do something, Kurt, or this will destroy your marriage before it’s even begun.” 

“Three,” Kurt whispers through a cascade of tears. “I choose three.” 

*

So Kurt sets to it, taking Joe’s advice and attending every audition that he possibly can. And finally, finally, work comes his way....Just not necessarily the type of work he wants. Soldier number three in a musical version of Chekhov's ‘The Cherry Orchard,” has Kurt in a snappy mood for weeks. Modelling for a men’s sexual health campaign sees him refusing to leave the apartment for two weeks in fear of being recognized- even though it’s only his bare back that is used, and when he is cast in the chorus of Blood Brothers, only to find out Santana has been given a speaking role, any self composure he did have left evaporates. 

“The fucking bitch!” he rages at Blaine, who- in a rare day off- is lounging on the couch. “She’s done this deliberately!”

“I don’t think she has,” Blaine says calmly, setting his glasses and newspaper to one side and beckoning for Kurt to sit in his lap. But Kurt is on fire with rage and ignores him, pacing the apartment angrily. 

“I wouldn’t put it past her to be getting tip offs from Martha as to which auditions I’m attending,” he fumes. “Just to spite me.”

“She’s one of your best friends,” Blaine reasons. “I don’t see....”

“No Blaine,” he seethes, whirling around to face him. “She’s your friend, not mine. You stole her away from me when I was sixteen and ever since she’s been out to get me.”

“Okay. I’m not even going to listen to you, because you know that’s bull,” Blaine says, putting his glasses on and picking up the paper once more. “Santana and Lacy have an apartment, with rent and bills to pay just like anyone else. How can she be out to sabotage your career when you can’t even play the same roles? You’re being ridiculous. And as for the friendship thing, I might be slightly closer to her than you are, but that doesn’t mean she doesn't love you, because I know she does. Now either sit down and stop raging or take your childish behavior elsewhere.”

He is rewarded a moment later with the loud slam of the apartment door. 

*

By the time their first wedding anniversary arrives, Blaine is walking on eggshells; frightened to voice an opinion about anything for fear of retribution, and not even bothering to tell Kurt where he’s going, or who is attending his concerts, in case of yet more bitter retorts. He picks up the phone numerous times to call Wes, Burt, his mom...even Santana, but he doesn't even know where he’d begin. So he holds his tongue, spending less and less time in the apartment and avoiding his husband as their marriage slowly falls apart. 

He arrives home from work, tired and despondent and not knowing what he will find. Kurt is sitting nervously on the couch, as if waiting for him to appear. He looks up, stop chewing his nails and tries to smile. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“So...I didn’t see you this morning.”

“No,” Blaine kicks his shoes off and settles in the armchair opposite, oddly cheered by the way Kurt’s face falls. “You were still asleep when I left.”

“I was going to make you breakfast,” Kurt tries. 

“I didn’t leave until ten, Kurt.”

“Next time, maybe.”

“Maybe.”

“So... Happy Anniversary.”

“Yeah,” Blaine sighs. “Same.”

“Blaine? Are we fighting?”

“I don’t know what we’re doing anymore,” Blaine answers honestly. “We’ve been together six years, it’s our first wedding anniversary and I can honestly say that apart from the blip at graduation I don’t think I’ve ever been so unsure about us as I am right now.”

“Blaine...”

“This fucking sucks!” he flares, getting out of his chair and beginning to pace. “I wanted today to be perfect. I wanted the lazy breakfast in bed, I wanted to be sending flirty texts back and forth all day, I wanted to come home and announce we were going out for dinner...but...but...we’re like this,” he finishes lamely, gesturing between them. “Both so immersed in the progression of our careers, so dragged down by bitterness and despair that we’ve lost sight of one another and what we mean to each other. Kurt, I love you,” he says, kneeling in front of him as two tears roll down his face. “You’ve been angry, upset and damned awkward to live with, but I’ve responded by pulling away from you rather than helping you, and I’m so sorry. Please forgive me and let me take you out to dinner, I didn’t cancel the reservation, just in case.” 

“You want me to forgive you?” Kurt whispers, eyes searching into the amber, tear filled ones opposite. “Oh Blaine,” reaching out, he brings a trembling hand to cup his husband’s cheek. “There’s nothing for me to forgive. You haven’t done anything wrong. Heaven knows I would have walked away too if you’d been treating me the way I’ve been treating you. I lay awake until four this morning, trying to work out how to talk this through with you. I don’t want to lose you, and I wanted to make this the perfect anniversary for you, too. But I fell asleep and when I woke you’d gone and I...” Breaking off, he swipes at a few stray tears before resting his arms over Blaine’s shoulders. “I made dinner reservations too, so I guess we each of us better say where and then decide where we’re going to go.” 

“The Hancock Building,” Blaine says thickly. 

“Same,” Kurt smiles. “I should have known.”

“Well I don’t think we’re quite at the sitting at different tables stage, do you?” Blaine says, offering a weak smile. 

“Blaine?”

“Yes, Kurt?”

“You won’t give up on us, will you?”

“No.” His answer is firm, resolute. “Never.”

“Even if I’m miserable and grumpy?” 

“Even then.”

“Even if I start wearing sweatpants and training shoes?”

“I’d be alarmed, but I wouldn’t quit our marriage,” Blaine says, starting to smile. “I’d just send you to counseling.”

“Even if Tom Hardy came knocking?”

“Well....”

“I knew it!” Kurt laughs, and Blaine joins in happily. “Shallow and fickle.”

“Totally.” Resting their foreheads together, Blaine looks deep into Kurt’s eyes. “I miss laughing with you. That’s what’s hurting me the most.” 

“I'm so sorry, Blaine. Really.”

“Just kiss me,” he breathes. “Kiss me until I can’t even remember my own name.”

Taking Blaine’s face in his hands, Kurt kisses him deep and fierce, pulling apart to leave them both breathless. Their pupils are dilated and their eyes shining, lips swollen and chests heaving before Kurt dives back in for more, falling to his knees and pushing Blaine backwards onto the rug. He falls on top of him, tilting his head to feel Blaine’s mouth open wide for him as their tongues meet and both take all the other has to give, pulling at each others hair and groaning as their thirst for one another is finally quenched. 

“I love you,” Kurt pants, breaking the kiss to stare at Blaine, who is now breathing hard and grinning broadly. “I love you so much.” He leans down and places a kiss to the hollow of his throat, then runs his tongue along his collarbone to make him shudder. 

“You’re going to be in trouble if you....Oh! You did,” he moans as Kurt sucks a hickey onto his neck. “I can’t go out for dinner with a hickey,” he chuckles, but he happily shifts his head to give Kurt better access. 

“Yeah you can,” Kurt breathes into his ear. “Everyone will know that you’re mine.”

“Oh god,” Blaine moans, rubbing a hand over his rapidly hardening cock. “I’m doomed.” 

They kiss again, the heat, pressure and urgency building until Kurt gives in and grinds into Blaine’s groin, lining their cocks up and rutting helplessly against his husband, who grips his ass tightly and urges him on. 

“Go on Kurt....gimme more...I need more,” Blaine whines desperately, and Kurt picks up the pace, burying his head into the crook of Blaine’s neck and biting down hard. 

“I can't,” he gasps, “I’m...”

“Yeah, go on. Come for me Kurt. Lemme see you come again. It’s been too long.”

“Ahhh,” he cries softly, and Blaine watches Kurt’s face entranced, as his eyes squeeze shut and his mouth falls open in a gasp of pleasure. He doesn't stop grinding though, feeling Blaine’s hardness pressing insistently into his thigh as he rubs against him again and again until Blaine’s whole body shudders and he comes, calling out Kurt’s name and holding him tightly. They don't let go of one another, Kurt falling weakly on top of Blaine, who rubs his back happily. “Well that escalated.”

“Ha! It sure did,” Kurt laughs, pulling back to kiss the tip of his nose. “It’s been a long time since we’ve got each other off while fully clothed.”

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything,” Blaine says sadly. 

“True.”

“Let’s work at this, Kurt. We’re too good to just allow it all to fall apart.”

“We are. And you're right. I think we should go out for dinner and celebrate us being us. Mr. and Mr. Hummel-Anderson.”

“We still need to talk.”

“And we will. We can. Over dinner, if you like? I don’t see why not,” Kurt says, noticing the way Blaine grimaces at the suggestion. “We both agree we’re not giving up, and we both want and need a happy ending in all of this, so let’s sit down with good food and good wine and talk about how to get past all this.”

“Damnit,” Blaine mutters. 

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“You are,” Blaine confirms, reaching up to pull him into a kiss. “And I have cold, sticky come slowly seeping toward my ass too, making this whole thing even more distressing.”

Kurt laughs loudly, rolling off him and reaching to pull him up. “C’mon, let’s shower, old man.”

Blaine’s face lights up at the term of endearment which he hasn’t heard for months. “I’d say we’re going to be fine, Kurt. Just fine.”


	38. Chapter 38

"You look divine," Blaine says later that evening, holding Kurt's chair out for him. "Smell divine too," he whispers, voice low as he kisses his cheek. 

Kurt blushes, overjoyed to feel butterflies in his stomach once more and he keeps his eyes fixed on Blaine as he sits opposite. 

"Is that a new shirt?"

"Um..yeah," Kurt says quietly, looking down at the white shirt with its delicate pattern of tiny purple flowers. "I made it this afternoon."

"You..." Blaine trails off, shaking his head in awe. "It's amazing. You look wonderful."

"You already said that," Kurt says with a gentle smile, reaching across for his hand. "Why are you nervous?" 

"Because I want this to be perfect," Blaine sighs. "You know...our wedding seems so very far away now, and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. I hope it always stays that fresh in my mind. But it occurs to me that maybe I'm keeping it at the very forefront of my thoughts because...well because there haven't been many moments as perfect as that since."

"You're not happy?"

"I didn't say that," he counters evenly. "But we returned from honeymoon to deal with my dad and his stroke, then we were apart all summer and...I don't know, it just seems to have been a struggle, that's all. I guess life is like that, and we must take the rough with the smooth but...I prefer the smooth." 

"I think everyone does," Kurt smiles. "But I'm hurt to hear you say those things. We have had good times. Europe was fun..."

"Oh it was, yes. And I suppose if I'm being honest the really tough times didn't start until we returned. We had the occasional disagreement before that but they were quickly resolved whereas recently....there's been this atmosphere that I don't care for at all." 

"You mean recently as in...since I decided to make a real go of acting?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I mean since you decided to give it a go and I decided to immerse myself in the orchestra. I told you earlier, I haven't been there for you and I'm sorry."

"I doubt I'd have been listening anyway." Kurt smiles ruefully and they break away to order, gratefully sipping the wine when it arrives. "I'm listening now," he whispers, reaching for Blaine's hand once more. "Is that enough?" 

Blaine nods fervently. "Yes. Because I know you want this to work as much as I do, and I know you're still in love with me. I want..no...I need for you to be happy, Kurt, because for the last six years all I've tried to do is make you happy, but I can't be in control of your destiny, Kurt. It's not down to me."

"I know," Kurt sighs. "I realized that long ago. But the thing is, I'm not so good at being in control of my own happiness."

"You are." Blaine leans on the table, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as they gaze at one another. "You just need to figure out if acting is making you happy."

"Do you think it is? Honest answer." 

"No." 

"I see." Kurt stares at the table for a moment, gathering his thoughts before looking back up. "I'm not ready to give it up."

"And that's perfectly fine," Blaine says, squeezing his fingers. "But you have to try and not get so worked up when things don't go your way. It makes me back away. I try not to, I try so hard to help you through whatever it is you're feeling, but ultimately there comes a point where I retreat into my own little world because I hear you saying stuff to me, hurtful comments, sniping about my work or my success and there's only so long I can keep telling myself that you don't mean it." 

"I don't!"

"I know you don't," Blaine takes his hand and kisses the back of it softly. "But it's hard sometimes, that's all." 

"I know. But you must realize it's hard for me, too."

"I do!" Blaine cries, a little louder than intended and he swiftly lowers his voice. "I do. Which is why I have strived to include you in my work ever since that trip to Austria."

"Then can we agree that we'll both try a little harder, and that we'll both always remember how much we're loved?"

"I think I'd like that a lot," Blaine grins. 

The rest of their meal is a happy affair, and they leave the restaurant arm in arm for a walk along Navy Pier, stopping to reminisce over Kurt's proposal. By the time they arrive home they are giddy and flushed with love once more, with Blaine halting Kurt's key in the lock in order to pin him against the door and kiss him feverishly. 

"I love you," he whispers against Kurt's lips, curved into a board smile. "I have a gift for you...."

"Tell me it's you, naked and spread out beneath me," Kurt breathes, moaning softly when he feels Blaine's fingers sliding under the hem of his shirt to trace lightly along the waistband of his pants. 

"Two gifts, then," he chuckles darkly. 

They head straight for the bedroom where Kurt perches on the edge of the bed while Blaine rummages through his chest of drawers, emerging triumphant. "So the first wedding anniversary is paper," he says shyly. "And after the hideous faux pas of Christmas, when you gave me a Stradivarius and I gave you yet more clothes, I wanted to get this right." 

"It was not a faux pas," Kurt laughs, taking the box from him. "You knew I wanted a Versace suit, and I'd left my usual cuttings lying around so you would be sure to see them. And....oh my god!" 

Kurt's eyes come to rest on a scrapbook, which Blaine has lovingly decorated the cover of with hundreds of tiny photos of them both together. Lifting the cover, his eyes fill with tears when he finds every single one of the letters Blaine had written when Kurt was in London, all bound neatly inside and preserved for a lifetime. He flicks through slowly, and then gasps again when he comes to the pages covered in post it's that Blaine had found in his absence. The book is only half filled, and Blaine shyly, nervously, offers an envelope to him. 

"To open on our first wedding anniversary." 

My dearest Kurt,

Well we've passed the first hurdle. Actually, we've passed lots of hurdles together, you and I, but what I mean to say is we've successfully navigated our way through the first year of marriage. It hasn't been all that easy really, has it? But I have to say, despite it all, I'm happier than ever. 

I've been lucky enough to come home to you for the past four years, and I swear my heart still skips a beat whenever I step from the elevator and walk along the hallway. Your face, Kurt. Seeing your face every day makes me happier than you can ever know. You make me feel safe, happy....and loved. 

To call you my husband makes me burst with pride every time, and I can't envisage a time when that doesn't happen. When I see that ring on your finger, or catch sight of mine- usually as I'm playing piano- it reminds me of the promise, the commitment we made to one another. 

Kurt, I promise to love you faithfully until the end of time. I promise to always try my best to make you happy, to keep you safe, to defend you and to fight for you. I will always, always, treasure you, respect you and hold you dear to my heart. You are perfect for me, my one true love and I am all for you.

Those were my vows, spoken to you exactly one year ago. I'm not sure if I've upheld all of that to the best of my ability or not. I'd like to think so, but honestly? I've loved you faithfully, yes. I've treasured you and held you dear to my heart. But have I made you happy? I know when we're together- doing mundane things like making dinner or watching tv- we're happy. I know that thanksgiving, Christmas, Europe were all- for the most part- happy. But I think I should give more of me to you. I need to listen more, not kiss you on the cheek and tell you I'm going to rehearsal now but I'll talk with you later, and then forget because I come home to tell you all about Riccardo's antics instead.

Have I kept you safe? I've tried. I can at least say that. I provide for you financially, though you now provide for me too. I keep up with the bills, keep the car up together....but again, maybe I should have protected you more. But I guess you're an adult now- in the adult world- and I can't shield you from that forever. Actually, I think you do a better job at keeping me safe- New York is the best example of that. Defend you, fight for you.... Well again, I guess I can't always be your knight in shining armor. I can't march up to an audition panel and demand they pick you so your feelings won't be hurt, that's just not practical and besides which, you'd kill me. But I do need to do more for you on a practical level. I know Joe told you to attend every audition going, and that's good advice to an extent, but I think we should discuss each one you get called for and decide if it's really worth it. You don't need the money, you're only doing this for your own self gratification, and sometimes I think taking a job just to try and feel good about yourself can actually end up making you feel worse.

Kurt, you are amazing. The most wonderful man I have ever, or will ever meet. Don't belittle yourself or do yourself down. Let me make you feel good about yourself. Let me help you. I'm sorry if I've let you down as your husband this last year, and I promise to do better and uphold those vows I made. But please know this...above it all, there is nowhere else I'd rather be.

Always yours,

Your husband, Blaine xxx

Kurt doesn't speak, just lets the piece of paper flutter to the floor. He watches it fall, not knowing what to feel. He can see Blaine's legs as he stands, nervously waiting for some reaction but his tears are too thick and fast to speak at first. The silence seems to stretch on until eventually he manages to find a voice. "How long have you been waiting to say all that?"

"A while. Couple of months, I guess," Blaine whispers with a small shrug. "I didn't know how, and then I decided to sit down and write you a letter for our anniversary and it all just came out." 

"Because....I may not always say it, but I actually think you're a pretty awesome husband to have. The best, in fact. And it really upsets me to think that you feel that way about yourself, that you've not fulfilled your vows because to me, not only have you fulfilled them, you've bypassed all expectations I ever had."

"Oh." 

"I'm just wondering," he says, still staring at Blaine's socked feet and not looking up, "why you continue to put up with me, because I have been less than easy to be around, and I've made you think you were a failure."

"You didn't make me think that, I thought that myself. And I put up with you for a number of reasons. You're twenty two. You're still growing up, for gods sake. It's a ridiculously young age to be so beholden to another person. Let's be honest here, if we were both your age we wouldn't be married yet. We might just about be engaged, but that's it. We wouldn't have lived together through college, and after you probably would have found your own place with some friends for a while, meaning whenever all the shit happened, I could have walked away and come back when everything was happy again. But I don't want that, but neither do I expect you to be able to successfully deal with all this and still be perfectly civil to me in the midst of it all.   
The main reason I put up with you though, is because I love and adore you beyond measure." 

Standing, Kurt goes to him, hugging him tight as they melt into one another's arms. "Same," he whispers into his ear. "Same. For always."

"I need you." Blaine nuzzles into his neck, hands coming up under Kurt's shirt to find soft, warm skin.

"We need each other," Kurt smiles sweetly. "Let's try and make it to clothes off this time, shall we?"

"If we don't then I'll cry," Blaine chuckles. 

"Pull back the covers."

"Where's...?" Blaine starts as he notices their bears are missing, but when he pulls back the comforter he finds them underneath and laughs when he notices. "You made them wedding outfits!"

"Happy anniversary," Kurt smiles, real, open and honest as he notices how much Blaine likes them. "Exact replicas. And check their jacket pockets." 

Tiny metal rings are tucked away inside each one, along with two small pieces of card with both sets of vows neatly printed on them. "To remind us," Kurt says, coming up behind Blaine and circling his arms around his waist. "Always." 

"They're beautiful, but they're going to have to turn and face the wall now." Blaine carries the bears across the room, setting them in the armchair facing the corner. "It's clothes off time." He crowds Kurt backward until he yelps with surprise, feeling the door handle of the walk in closet pushing into his back. "Inside."

"In the closet?"

"In the closet."

"Pretty sure we came out years ago," Kurt quips, but he pulls the door open and steps inside, eager to learn of Blaine's plan. 

They kiss for a long time, which Kurt doesn't mind one bit as he relaxes and becomes pliant in Blaine's arms, who seems happy to take control, removing Kurt's shirt in record time along with his own and groaning when their chests press together. "You're really turning me on," Kurt gasps when Blaine moves his lips to trail down his neck.

Blaine's voice comes hot and heavy in his ear, making him shudder with longing. "That's the general idea." 

Kurt's hands slide eagerly down the back of his husbands pants, groping at his ass while Blaine bites, kisses and sucks his way across Kurt's chest before falling to his knees. "Oh yes, suck me," Kurt moans. "Please Blaine, suck me."

Blaine looks up, fumbling to open both their pants and slide Kurt's to the floor. "What my husband wants...." His mouth engulfs him, causing Kurt's hips to stutter and him to cry out, fingers breaking through the gel in Blaine's hair as he thrusts deep into Blaine's throat. "Fuck...sorry, sorry," he says when Blaine chokes, but he gallantly shakes his head and carries on, working his mouth and tongue over him in just the way he knows will make Kurt unravel quickly and he does, fucking Blaine's face hard and fast before Blaine pulls off suddenly to take his balls in his mouth. "Reckon you can go twice?" Blaine asks, his breathing ragged and desperate as he looks up at him "cause I really want to..."

"Anything. Do anything to me," Kurt begs. "I'll go as many times as you like just...don't stop." 

"Mmm," Blaine replies, his mouth full of cock again as he brings one hand up to fondle Kurt's balls as they retract and he spills into Blaine's mouth, who eagerly swallows every drop. But he doesn't stop there, giving Kurt only seconds to recover while he removes the rest of his clothes and lies down on the closet floor. "Sit on my face," he commands, and Kurt's eyes grow wide at the suggestion. "Watch in the mirror as I rim you." 

"Oh my...." Kurt trails off, noticing that Blaine has angled himself diagonally so they can both look into the floor to ceiling mirror. He positions himself over Blaine, facing his knees and is pulled back immediately as Blaine kisses and licks over his ass as if starved. 

"Fuck," comes his muffled cry, his mouth buried in Kurt. Running his tongue over his entrance a few times he breaks off, pulling back to breathe. "Best. This is the best." 

"No. Uh-uh," Kurt chuckles, before bending Blaine almost in half as he picks his legs up and stoops to return the favor. "This is the best." It's not that easy, to rim each other simultaneously, and Blaine really is bent at the most uncomfortable angle, but when he opens his eyes and looks in the mirror it's about all he can do not to touch his cock just once and come there and then. Of course, Kurt's tongue feels utterly perfect, and when he slides a finger in alongside, Blaine reciprocates and it becomes almost a game of tit for tat until both are buried in one another, tongues writhing and fingers pushing, searching, until Kurt gives a muffled yell and Blaine knows he's got there first. He only teases Kurt for a second however, tapping his thigh and getting him to move until he's on all fours looking directly into the mirror. 

"Oh shit."

"Yeah," Blaine grins as he lubes up his cock. "You know what's coming. Eyes open." Gripping Kurt's hips tightly, he guides himself into Kurt's hole which stretches tight around him as their eyes lock on one another in the mirror. He moves slowly, relishing the feel of being inside Kurt after so long and the deeply erotic thrill that watching themselves in the mirror brings. Kurt struggles to keep his eyes open as Blaine moves inside him, and he resorts to biting hard on his bottom lip, welcoming the tug Blaine gives to his hair making him keep eye contact. "C'mere," Blaine grunts, kneeling back and pulling Kurt up against his chest, hooking his chin over his shoulder and staring at their reflections as he pushes back inside and runs his tongue along his neck. 

"Fuck," Kurt mutters, reaching one arm around to the back of Blaine's neck. "I won't last long like this. Watching you...watching me...us..." 

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you too. So much," Kurt moans, his voice turning into a whine of desperation as Blaine picks up the pace slightly and thrusts deep and long into his husband, one hand splayed over his chest, the other reaching down for his cock. "Blaine...."

"I know," he pants in his ear, keeping their eyes fixed on one another in the mirror. "With me," he commands softly.

"With you," Kurt answers, gritting his teeth as he holds back. 

"Yeah....Kurt...."

They come together, Blaine clutching tight to Kurt as their soft moans fill the air followed by contented long drawn out sighs. They rock together slowly, Blaine eventually pulling out and helping a weary Kurt to the bathroom where he hands him a warm washcloth and kisses his lips tenderly. "I'll wait for you in bed."

"You know, that's another thing that I love about you," Kurt says when he emerges from the bathroom. "You're such a gentleman. After six years we could have stopped caring, but some sights really shouldn't be seen, and you always respect that."

"I try," Blaine grins, rolling over until his head is resting on Kurt's chest. "I dont know if I can sleep."

"Why?"

"Too happy," he says with possibly the cutest little laugh that Kurt thinks he's ever heard. 

Kurt smiles, kissing into his hair. "It's been a pretty good anniversary after all, hasn't it? I feel like we've talked through so much, and I feel so much brighter."

"Same, gorgeous boy," Blaine murmurs, yawning loudly which makes Kurt laugh. "Oh. Maybe I can sleep after all." 

*

Sleep he does, and he wakes in bright sunlight to find Kurt's side of the bed empty and the smell of frying bacon filling the whole apartment. Stretching contentedly, he uses the bathroom quickly before pulling on some shorts and heading down the hall to the kitchen where he can hear Kurt on the phone. 

"Yeah...yeah...I understand," he is saying. Blaine kisses his neck silently as he walks past him to get coffee, heart lurching in worry when Kurt visibly flinches, but he tries not to think too much of it and turns his attention the pan on the stove instead, where the bacon looks perilously close to burning. 

"No, no. That's fine. I'll call in later today, and I'll be there tomorrow..... Okay. Yeah..... See you this afternoon." He puts the phone down and grips the edge of the counter tightly, breathing in sharply through his nose. 

"Everything okay?" Blaine asks quietly. 

"No."

"Tell me." Setting two plates of bacon and pancakes on the table he guides Kurt gently to a chair. 

"Martha will only renew my contract on a month by month basis," he sighs. "My initial contract was a year, and when that's up in two weeks it's on a rolling basis from then."

"What?" Blaine cries, "Why?"

"I'm not getting enough work, apparently."

"You're getting loads of work."

"Not loads, no," Kurt corrects, drawing his lips into a thin line as he pokes at his breakfast with his fork. "The odd bit part. Nothing substantial. Anyway," he says wearily. "I have to go see her this afternoon, she has an audition for me tomorrow."

"For?"

"A touring production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Four weeks." 

"Chorus?"

"A brother."

"So that's good, right? A speaking role?"

"I guess. If I get it."

"I'm sure you will."

"Whatever," Kurt mutters, scraping his chair back from the table and scraping his untouched breakfast into the trash. 

"Do you want to talk about this?" Blaine asks, suddenly feeling on edge once more.

"No," he snaps, heading towards the bedroom. "I absolutely do not." 

Blaine leaves him alone, clearing away the rest of the breakfast and loading the dishwasher before heading into the bedroom to find a showered and partially dressed Kurt curled up in bed, staring out of the window. He doesn't react to the dip of the mattress when Blaine sits next to him, but he does close his eyes at the feeling of his hand playing idly with his hair. 

"I want to talk to you about something, but I want you to hear me out and promise not to yell, okay?" Blaine says softly.

"Sounds ominous," Kurt mutters.

"I think you should move into costume design."

"What?" His voice immediately turns dark, with a hard and bitter edge as he rolls over to look up at him.

"I think you heard me perfectly well, Kurt. You are...an incredible man, and I love you dearly but I don't think you're suited to acting. Patience is not your strong point, gorgeous boy, and I just don't think you have what it takes to sit tight and work all the crappy roles while waiting for your big break. The sketches you do, the designs you make... They're flawless. You have natural, raw talent and I really think you could do well...and be happy doing it too."

"Is this because I'm not keeping up my side of us being a fabulously successful gay couple?"

"What?" Blaine cries incredulously. "What are you even talking about?"

Kurt sits, eyes spitting fire as he snaps at him. "Am I letting you down? Are you ashamed of me, is that it? Blaine Hummel- Anderson, extraordinarily talented violinist, concert pianist and all round good guy, married to Kurt, second rate struggling musical theatre actor who consistently turns in below par performances? Yeah, the Tribune wouldn't be happy with that I guess. Why not railroad me into a more acceptable career?"

"Kurt....this is...this...you're unbelievable," Blaine splutters as he sees the whole cycle starting over again. "This is destroying you.... And I'm frightened it's going to end up destroying us, too. Are you really happy like this? Feeling like this? Because I have to be honest...I love you and I'm happy you're my husband but happy to see you like this? No...I'm not."

"So you want out? Is that what you're saying? A six year relationship, married for a year and you want to throw in the towel?"

"No! Kurt, we went through this last night! I married you for life. I'm never giving up. But I want you to be happy. I want the boy that I married back. I miss him."

"But I'm not that boy any more, Blaine. You married a wide eyed twenty one year old. This is one year on. A whole year of struggling in the sucky real world. A year of rejections over and over again. A year of never feeling good enough, of living in your shadow. And a year of being introduced as 'Blaine's husband, Kurt.' Or 'Husband of Chicago's most revered musician,' or worse, not even introduced at all." 

"I'd have thought being introduced as my husband ought to be exciting, not something to complain about," Blaine says in a small voice. "I know what a thrill it gives me to say those words. One of my favorite parts of my job is getting to introduce you to people."

"Don't try and placate me with bullshit," Kurt snaps, rolling off the bed and pulling on the rest of his clothes.

Blaine shakes his head in stunned disbelief, eyes shimmering with tears as he studies his angry young husband. "It's not bullshit," he says quietly, swallowing thickly over the lump in his throat. "I'd never lie to you." 

"See, now I know that's bullshit," Kurt cries, whirling around to face him. "Because you do lie to me. You spent the first two years of our relationship lying to me about moving to New York!"

"I did not!" Blaine yells, standing to face him as his temper flares. "I never lied to you, I just wasn't honest with you, which was wrong I know, but why are we bringing this up now? We've moved way, way past that, Kurt!" 

"You might have," he snaps. "But let's face it Blaine, if I'd have attended NYADA like I was supposed to, none if this would have happened." 

Blaine reels backwards as if stung by the venom from Kurt's words. Sitting on the bed heavily, he struggles to breathe, clenching and unclenching his fists. "You....how could you....Kurt....how could you ever say something like that?" he whispers, not even attempting to stop the tears which roll down his cheeks. "We both of us gave up everything to move here together, to start afresh in the place that made us happy, where good things happened for us."

"Well clearly that's no longer the case," Kurt huffs, leaning back against the dresser and folding his arms. "But still," he continues bitterly, "it's just as well we didn't make a go of it in New York. I'm not sure how I'd put up with the continual whimpering panic attacks and lame ass sex." 

"Get out," Blaine whispers, a shaking hand running through his hair.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Kurt. You wanna do this? Fine. I pay the rent on this apartment; I decide who lives here and right now, you don't. I'm gonna take a shower and when I come out I want you gone."

"You can't kick me out of my apartment!" Kurt yells, on fire with indignant rage. "Where the fuck am I supposed to go?"

Blaine pauses in the bathroom doorway to look back at him. "Right now Kurt, I really don't care."


	39. Chapter 39

Blaine stays in the apartment all day, alternating between pacing restlessly, picking up his phone to stare at the screen which never lights up, or just sitting, thinking. By six o'clock he can stand it no more, and pulls on a pair of shoes and grabs his keys. The door opens from the other side however, and a timid looking Kurt stands there, eyes red and swollen. 

"Can I come in?" 

Blaine says nothing, just turns and heads back into the living room, kicking off his shoes and returning to his place on the couch. Kurt follows but remains standing, ill at ease and not really sure what to say or how to act. Clearing his throat nervously, he stares at his feet as he speaks. 

"I uh...I went to see Martha."

"Right," Blaine nods tightly. 

"I think...I think I'll probably take the tour, if offered."

"Okay."

"I'm just...." Gesturing lamely toward the bedroom, he swallows hard. "I need to pack some things so...."

"Where are you staying?" It's not much, but Kurt hears the crack in Blaine's voice, sees the upset and desperation in his eyes and clings tight to the fact that he doesn't want this to be happening at all.

"Um.... With Santana."

"So she knows," Blaine states.

"No....I haven't spoken with her yet, I'm just kind of hoping either her or Lacy will be home."

"I see."

A silence ensues, during which Kurt continues to stare at his feet and Blaine studies his knees, until sensing he's not getting anywhere, Kurt goes into the bedroom and takes a holdall from the closet. He is startled to turn around to find Blaine watching him, tears streaming down his face, but he carries on regardless and packs clothes haphazardly, not caring for once about style or coordination. Once done, he zips the bag and stands there holding it, and finally they make eye contact. 

"Please. Don't make me leave," Kurt whispers, dropping the bag as silent sobs tear through his body. "I am a horrible, horrible person, and I have no right at all to beg to be allowed to stay...but I love you so much, Blaine. I don't know how often I can say hurtful things to you and then say I didn't mean them and expect your forgiveness, but I really, really didn't mean any of what I said. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it, and I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again, but I just....I just don't want to lose you," he cries, eyes and nose streaming as he breaks down completely and sinks to the floor. "I love you, you're my soulmate and I've just destroyed everything." 

"I don't want you to go," Blaine says through a cascade of tears. He shakes his head as he tries to make sense of his thoughts. "I don't want this to be the end of us, I don't want there to ever be an end to us..... But I'm not ready to forgive you yet. You took the one thing that you know upsets me the most and you used it to hurt me. Do you know how many times I've worried that you would regret leaving NYADA? You've always reassured me that wasn't the case, and then you suddenly throw all of that at me as if I'm to blame for everything. Whether it was in anger, or through bitterness or whatever, doesn't matter, Kurt. Because it still hurt like a fucking knife.  
You know, every relationship has it's own dynamic. You're stronger than me, more forceful, fiery and determined. I'm quieter, the born worrier while you rush headlong into things, and I'm not very brave....but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover, Kurt. I won't let you treat me like this. I walked away from Luke because he was too toxic...I can do the same here if this continues. It's going to take me a long time to be over this, and honestly, I hope you do get this tour, because I think we need this time apart to work out where the hell we go from here." 

Kurt bites his lip, not trusting himself to speak as he sits cross legged on the floor and looks up at Blaine, who sits on the edge of the bed and runs a weary hand over his face. "You know when you came home?" he asks, and Kurt nods. "I was on my way to look for you. I didn't know where to start, but I just knew I didn't want you to stay somewhere else. I guess we both said things we didn't mean, so I'm sorry too."

"You don't need to apologize," Kurt says with a shake of his head. "Really. I was half expecting to come home and find you with a bottle of whiskey, and I still wouldn't have blamed you one bit." 

"I'll get dinner," Blaine says tightly, not wanting to get any further into the discussion. "Unpack your stuff." 

"Blaine?" 

He stops in the doorway, not looking back. "Yes?"

"Will we be okay?"

He sighs and hangs his head, trying to steady his breathing for a moment. "I don't know."

Their evening is spent in virtual silence, other than muted thanks from Kurt for his dinner, and Blaine politely informing Kurt he is going to the music room to practice. Kurt sits on the couch, trying to decide whether to call his dad or Rachel, but in the end- deciding he doesn't want anyone else involved- he stares at mind numbing tv until Blaine emerges and informs him he's going to bed. 

"Yeah. I should too," Kurt says, standing. "I'll uh....I'll take the guest room...."

"No you won't," Blaine says sharply. "You'll sleep in our bed with me. It's where you belong. Where we both belong." 

"Blaine I don't think that..." Kurt protests, but the forcefulness behind Blaine's words has him recoiling and scurrying along.

"Go to bed, Kurt. Now."

He changes quickly and climbs under the covers where he waits for Blaine to join him. He is completely baffled when Blaine turns out the light and reaches for him, but he goes willingly, letting him hold him tight and run his hands over his back before he ever so gently grazes their lips together, sighs and then releases him, turning his back to Kurt. 

"Goodnight."

"Blaine...."

"I love you," Blaine says, as if that explains it all. "Now please, get some sleep." 

*

When Kurt wakes the next morning Blaine has already left the apartment, despite it being before six. He cleans frantically, a desperate way of passing the time until his audition and then walks despondently from the apartment, noting the car is gone and guessing that means Blaine will be driving to Wes. He walks to his audition and still arrives far too early so he sits outside a small coffee shop to wait, the summer sun streaming down onto his face- which would ordinarily have him feeling excited at the promise of time with Blaine and their families celebrating the twins birthday but now makes him wish for winter where it would be acceptable to curl up under a duvet and stay there. The vibration of his phone surprises him, the message even more so. 

Good luck...break a leg. I love you, my gorgeous boy xxxx

And he wipes frantically at his eyes as he crosses the street and heads into the theatre. He doesn't return home immediately after, but lets his feet carry him to a small apartment where he knocks before thinking better of it and turning to walk away. 

"Kurt?" Santana's head pokes around the door and she spots him just about to turn the corner. "Did you want me?"

"No...no...I...," he trails off uselessly as he begins to cry once more and he stands there in the hallway sobbing until Santana rushes to take him in her arms. 

"Oh Kurt, don't cry. Please, please. Come on, come inside." She ushers him into the apartment, and he is grateful to note that they seem to be alone. 

"I think I've lost him, Santana," he sobs into her arms. "I think we're done."

"Oh hush, hush," she says, guiding him to the couch where she still holds him tightly. "You've not lost him at all. You two are for life. He'll come around, you just both need time."

"He's told you then," he sniffs. 

"He's not told me anything," she answers honestly. "But he's been here crying most of the day."

"Huh?"

"He arrived just after six this morning and asked if he could sit here awhile. Guy looked terrible so I let him in and made him some coffee. He was incredibly composed until Lacy left for work and then he broke down. He refused to tell me what was wrong, but I guessed it must be to do with you, otherwise he'd be spilling to you instead. So....wanna share?" 

"I don't think I can," he whispers. "I think I want to keep this between us, if that's okay?"

"Of course," she nods. "It's your marriage." Smiling sweetly, she tucks a stray lock of his hair back in place and kisses his forehead lightly. "Just make sure you talk to each other, okay?"

"Okay," he says, offering a weak smile. "You know, you're actually really kind."

"I know," she says, patting his knee and walking to the kitchen area. "But tell anyone and I'll rip your balls off. Besides, my motives are purely selfish, I can assure you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You and Blaine are my family. I need for you to be together because all my life I've chased that happy ending."

"I thought you had one?"

"I do with Lacy, I think," she nods. "But you guys are something else. Pretty much everything to me, in fact." She smiles ruefully as she sets a sandwich on the coffee table in front of him. "But tell anyone and I'll..."

"Yeah, yeah." 

*

He stays with Santana until late, returning home to hear the strains of a haunting melody coming from the piano. The music is sad and melancholy, and Kurt is irresistibly drawn to the doorway where he watches Blaine play until he breaks with one hand to pat the bench next to him. 

Kurt goes willingly and as Blaine continues to play he rests his head onto his husbands shoulder and sighs, content to sit quietly and watch his fingers fly over the keys, working their magic. The piece draws to a close but Blaine moves seamlessly onto something else, cracking one eye open to watch Kurt's reaction when he starts to sing. 

"Right from the start  
You were a thief  
You stole my heart  
And I your willing victim  
I let you see the parts of me  
That weren't all that pretty  
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh  
Things you never say to me, oh, oh  
Tell me that you've had enough  
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
We're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again"

Kurt, having jolted at the start and having wanted to run, now finds himself ready and willing to sing with him, embracing the opportunity to lose himself in song as he has on so many occasions with his husband, but this time it's as if they're singing for their lives.

"I'm sorry I don't understand  
Where all of this is coming from  
I thought that we were fine.  
Oh, we had everything  
Your head is running wild again  
My dear we still have everythin'  
And it's all in your mind  
Yeah, but this is happenin'

"You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh  
You still lie so close to me, oh, oh  
There's nothing more than empty sheets  
Between our love, our love  
Oh, our love, our love"

"Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
I never stopped  
You're still written in the scars on my heart  
You're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again"

"Oh, tear ducts and rust  
I'll fix it for us  
We're collecting dust  
But our love's enough  
You're holding it in  
You're pouring a drink  
No nothing is as bad as it seems  
We'll come clean"

"Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again"

Blaine makes to play another chorus but Kurt's hand suddenly finds the back of his neck and pulls him in for a long kiss, which to both their surprise, he readily accepts- halting the song so he can turn on the bench and kiss Kurt back, chasing after him when he pulls away. 

"No," Kurt breathes, eyes dancing with hope as he studies Blaine's face. "Not yet. It's not the answer. I love you too much to fall into bed with you before this is all worked through. We're better than that, you and I."

"You're right," Blaine sighs, but he doesn't let go of Kurt, only shuffles closer so he can press their foreheads together. "You got it, didn't you?"

"Yes," Kurt says softly. "I leave in a week, and it's intensive rehearsals until then."

"Right." Blaine pauses, doing a quick calculation in his head. "You won't be in New York with me."

"Not this time, no. I'll meet you in LA for the twins birthday. The tour is the west coast so I thought I'd take some time to be with Joe."

"He's moved back in with Cooper."

"Oh."

"Doesn't mean you can't visit of course," Blaine shrugs. 

"I thought they were worried about the press..."

"I think he just stuck a finger up at the lot of them and decided it was more important to be true to himself. He likes living with them, they like having him there so..." 

"Right. Well... Four weeks...."

"Yes."

"Sometimes you fly to see me...."

"Not this time, Kurt," Blaine shakes his head sadly. "I need you to understand this. I love you, and I want this marriage to work. We need this time apart, okay? I'll call, write, text...but...simply put, I don't want to see you for a while."

"Great," he mutters darkly.

"No, don't go getting all angry at me again!" Blaine cries in desperation. "It's no good me flying to SanFran for twenty four hours of hot sex, don't you see that? That's not going to accomplish anything except to complicate this mess even further. I'll meet you in LA, we'll muddle through a couple of days with everyone and then when we get back we can really thrash it all out."

"But why then? Why not now?" Kurt demands. "You're sending me off on a tour feeling like shit, Blaine."

"Because I can't forgive you yet, that's why!" he yells, and any composure he did have left flies out of the window as he stands and paces restlessly about the room. "And I'm sending you off feeling like shit? Kurt, just listen to yourself, listen! You know, I'm not ready to talk yet but neither are you. You need to really take time to figure out what you want and how you want to proceed because this pattern of fierce loving and fighting, with you hurting me over and over and then begging for forgiveness cannot continue." 

"You're right," Kurt sighs, nodding wearily. "It can't. I just don't know how to make it all better."

*

"Blaine," Wes snaps down the phone a week later. "I've just had a sobbing, and I mean hysterically sobbing, Kurt on the phone. Care to explain?"

"He's gone on tour."

"He goes on tour every summer, Blaine, as do you. It sucks, but neither of you have ever called me in that state before now. He could hardly breathe. I was sitting there listening to him cry and feeling sick to my stomach at not being able to help him. He took twenty minutes to tell me what was wrong."

"He told you?" 

"Well...no," Wes admits. "Not exactly. He just kept asking me to take care of you, to try and visit if I can and to make sure you were safe in New York."

Blaine sighs wearily. "You don't need to visit." 

"Blaine...are you two okay?"

Blaine pauses, a split second away from breaking down and telling Wes the lot, but something stops him. The knowledge that he needs to work this through with his husband, that this is what his marriage means, stops him and he finds himself saying "Fine, just fine."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure," Blaine says emphatically. "Now how are your wedding plans coming on?" 

*

He is awoken the next morning by the continual sound of his buzzer, loud and droning in his ears. He stares at the ceiling, deciding it is far too early to deal with Santana, though he knows he gave her the same rude awakening a week ago. He is grateful when it falls silent, and he rolls over, returning to sleep right away. When he wakes again it is with sudden fright, sitting bolt upright when he realizes someone is in his apartment and....they're making coffee?

Dazed and more than a little confused, he walks into the kitchen to find Wes sitting at his kitchen table, reading a newspaper. "Santana has a key," he says, without looking up. 

"Since when?" an incredulous Blaine asks.

"Since she took the spare from here and had it copied, apparently."

"What? That girl has no boundaries."

"I'm grateful for that right now. Look Blaine, you may not want to tell either her or me what's going on, and that's fine. But something is very wrong between the pair of you, of that there is no doubt. So here's the plan." Setting the newspaper aside, he looks up at Blaine, still standing in his pajamas and staring at Wes as if he's speaking Chinese. "I'm here for a week. After that it's daily visits from Santana or Lacy until Seb arrives."

"Sebastian?"

"Is coming for a few days, yes. Then you'll go off on tour with the orchestra, and I spoke with some insane Italian who tells me you're- and I quote- 'spectacular gay Blaine'- and he promises me that he will keep an eye on you. His obligation ends when he puts you on a plane to LA, where hopefully, your husband will be waiting for you."

"Kurt..."

"Kurt didn't fare quite so well in our little plan," Wes says with a small smile. "Seb flew to Portland today to no doubt annoy him intensely for a few days. After that it's Rachel's turn. On the bright side-if he can keep going that long- Joe will be waiting for him in LA."

"You...you did all this for us?"

"Blaine, we all love you both as individuals, but even more together. You two need each other. If any of us weren't sure we wouldn't be doing this, but whatever is going on, you love each other too much to give up."

"I do," Blaine says as he sinks into a chair, clutching gratefully at Wes' hand. "I really do love him so much."

"Then get past whatever it is, Blaine. You have to."

"I will," he nods fervently. "I will. I'm just not sure if he can." 

He finds himself grateful for the distraction that Wes' visit brings, and to his eternal relief, Wes never pushes for any details. He does, however, follow him around like a shadow, including sitting in on all orchestra rehearsals.

"I know what you're worried about, and it's not going to happen," Blaine tells him one day as they arrive home. "Apart from the night before my wedding, I haven't touched whiskey since...well actually there's a bottle on top of the kitchen cabinets that Kurt pushed up there one time when I was tempted. But I never drank any." 

"You've just left it there?"

"I can't reach," he admits. "But I haven't even thought about it until now." 

"Right." He's up there in no time, grabbing the bottle and emptying it down the sink. 

"Hey! That's money!"

"Eh, you're rich enough. Now go call your husband while I cook us dinner."

The part of the day Blaine dreads always seems to arrive just when he's starting to feel better. His stomach lurches as he dials and waits, secretly hoping that Kurt will have been called to makeup early, or won't pick up....anything to not have to endure the stilting conversation and awkward pauses. 

"Hey."

"Hey. How are you?"

"Okay," Kurt says quietly. "Seb went home today. We move on to San Fran tomorrow, and Rachel arrives Monday."

"A few days peace, then."

"I'm really going to miss him actually," Kurt sighs. "Though not as much as I miss you."

"You miss me?" Blaine asks, the unmistakable delight and surprise evident in his voice.

"Of course. I love you, dumbass."

Blaine laughs. "You haven't said that in a while,"

"You haven't laughed in a while."

"There's not been much to laugh about," Blaine says and immediately regrets the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, bringing with them the sound of silence once more.

"No, I suppose not," Kurt says after a while. "You know... I didn't mean the stuff I said...about New York."

"I know," Blaine sighs. "But that doesn't make it any easier. And it's not just that, is it? It's not just what you said that day it's...it's... It's so many things. Your resentment of my success, your moods when you don't get an audition, or when you take a job you hate...I don't know which is worse, really."

"And for me it's the same," Kurt flares, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Your mood when you're working, continually whistling or humming, or if not then practising the same piece of music over and over again while I sit there, without a job to go to, listening to you go on about Riccardo this, Ken that, Maria this, Abby that."

"You like those people!"

"Actually, I do," Kurt concedes. "But I still feel like you're rubbing your success in my face all the time."

"I'm not rubbing it in your fucking face!" he yells loudly. "I want you to be a part of it, but you're so hung up on your own bitterness and self loathing that you can't see that!"

"Okay, okay," Wes says brightly, barging into the bedroom and taking the phone from Blaine. "This isn't doing either of you any good. Take some time to cool off and Blaine, you can call Kurt later tonight."

"Stay the fuck out of my marriage," Blaine snarls before locking himself in the bathroom. 

"Kurt? Is that okay? If Blaine calls you later?"

"Whatever," Kurt snaps. "He can go...."

"Okay, bye!" Wes calls cheerily, hanging up and tossing the phone onto the bed. "Anger is progress, Blaine!" he calls at the bathroom door. "Just remember that." 

Wes stays with him through the anger, Santana looks after him through the contemplative silence, and Sebastian arrives for the tears, offering Blaine tissue after tissue and letting him cry until he's done for an hour or so before starting all over again. 

"To think I used to want to sleep with you," he remarks, taking in Blaine's blotchy, swollen face as he lies curled on the bed. 

"Nah you didn't," he sniffles, sitting up to blow his nose.

"No, I didn't," Sebastian confirms, settling back against the headboard. "Anyone, actually. I just wanted to sleep with anyone." 

"You still do."

"True. Doesn't mean I'm not envious though."

"It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Marriage?" Seb asks and Blaine nods. "Yeah it is. You're just moping right now. And that's fine, you're entitled. But you know it's all you've ever wanted. You and Kurt....since day one, when we were all teasing you for crushing on a fifteen year old... You knew it was where you'd end up- or hoped, anyway. And you were both lucky enough that it happened. You'll get through this."

"I'm wondering if we need a counselor or something."

"Why do you need a counselor?" Seb says with a laugh. "Don't you have any friends?"

Blaine hangs his head and Sebastian laughs, reaching across to ruffle his hair. "Ooh, your hair is all soft without the gel."

"Kurt likes my hair," he whispers, which brings on a fresh bout of tears. 

"You know, Wes is getting worked up about you not saying what's wrong, but I don't think anything is wrong at all."

Blaine turns his head to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well he's not had an affair... you don't want to move to Mexico.... You've just lost sight of one another."

"Yeah," Blaine sighs heavily, settling back against the headboard next to him. "I think you're right."

"And speaking from absolutely no experience whatsoever, it's a common problem in relationships that have been going as long as yours. Six years... For Kurt that's more than a quarter of his life."

"Oh Jesus."

"I think, that as your friends, we've done all we can right now. You need to see him, face to face. And you want my advice?"

"You're gonna give it to me anyway."

"I am," Sebastian confirms. "When was the last time you spent a whole summer together?"

"Three years ago," Blaine says, suddenly realizing how terrible that sounds. 

"Exactly, and it was crap because you were broke. He doesn't need to tour each summer....actually, I really don't know why he bothers. But neither do you. Your band tours all the time..."

"It's not a...."

"Whatever," he dismisses. "Get the schedule, sit down with Kurt and work out which ones you want to do- together." 

Blaine sits, quietly stunned. "That's...that's actually really good advice. I don't know why I didn't think of that before."

"Because you like to punish yourself by going to New York every summer, that's why," he smiles. "But I think going there has got as easy as it's ever gonna get for you- thanks to Kurt. Just let it go. The girls have moved away, there's nothing there for you. You have the recognition and the admiration you set out to achieve from the classical world, you don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore." 

"I have to go there in a couple of weeks," Blaine points out. "I'm signed up for the tour."

"Then do it this once and then go to Kurt," Sebastian says emphatically. "He needs you." 

But he is taken aback when after ten days of the tour, Riccardo corners him in Boston and announces he's booked him on a flight to LA the next morning.

"I can't, we have New York."

"No Blaine," he says with a shake of his head. "We have New York. Not you. You have a husband whom I like very much, and you need to be with him right now. The orchestra can manage without you. Go to him." 

"I don't know what to say," Blaine says, overwhelmed with gratitude. 

"You say thank you Riccardo and get on plane," he smiles. "And when you return to Chicago there is a reception on the eighteenth. I do need you there for that....because it's in your honor."

"My...what?" Blaine asks, stunned. "Why?" 

"Relax," Riccardo laughs. "It's your grand unveiling as our new concert pianist, that's all. The first one the symphony has had. It's very unusual to keep a pianist on the roll in an orchestra."

"I know that. But are you expecting me to play, or what?"

"A couple of pieces, maybe," Riccardo shrugs. "Nothing of monumental impotence."

"Importance," Blaine corrects with a smirk.

"And your husband will be back by your side where he belongs."


	40. Chapter 40

Kurt paces arrivals, feeling sick with nerves as he waits for Blaine to appear. His heart lurches several times when he sees people who look similar, but it jumps for joy when he finally sees Blaine. He stops several feet away and they make eye contact, letting their feet carry them toward one another until suddenly, they're both running; Kurt jumping into his husband's arms and wrapping his legs tight around his waist. 

"Blaine," he breathes and then they're kissing. Slowly at first, as if unable to believe that at long last they are together again, but then some animalistic instinct takes ahold of both and they're kissing hard, brains clouded with passion, lust and love as Kurt whimpers loudly at the feel of Blaine's tongue in his mouth.

"Stop, stop...no," Blaine gasps, pulling back and setting Kurt on his feet. "I mean...no...it's not that I'm not liking that but it's just that...right here...and it's too soon and I.... Oh shut up, Blaine," he says, huffing out a nervous laugh. "Start again. Hello, Kurt."

"Hello Blaine," he replies politely, picking up his bag. "Come on, I borrowed Joe's car." 

He slings Blaine's bags into the trunk of the sleek black Mercedes and walks to the passenger side where his husband admires the car. "Nice." 

"Nicer," Kurt says, sliding his arms around his waist. "I'm no fool, I know we have a lot to work through, and things between us have been strained to say the least while we've been apart, but I have missed you so much." 

"Same," Blaine says, and falls forward to rest his head on Kurt's shoulder, letting himself be held. "All of that. I've missed you terribly. I was ready to talk with you over a week ago but I wanted to wait until we were face to face."

"Let's get home...well...to the pool house, anyway. It's slightly better for discussion than LAX parking lot." 

Blaine is greeted warmly by all concerned, though he can't help but feel a little put out that everyone has been in LA for three days already without him. "It's not important now," his mom says as she guides him out into the yard. "You're here, that's all that matters. Now maybe you and Kurt can sort out this little crisis."

"There's no crisis," he says with forced brightness.

"Oh there is, darling," she smiles. "Even your dad managed to notice. I can see you're happy to be back together again, but you and Kurt wear your hearts on your sleeves. Go talk to him." 

"Is it wrong that I don't want to talk?" a fearful Kurt asks when Blaine enters the pool house.

"No," he says honestly. "I'd like to tackle you onto that bed and pound you into the mattress....but it wouldn't solve anything, would it?"

"It would solve something," Kurt mutters, but he settles into the armchair instead, and Blaine sits on the end of the bed. "So tell me.... How was New York?" 

"I didn't go."

"What?" 

"Riccardo sent me here instead. We were only doing two nights this time and he said he could manage without me. I was glad. I don't think I could have done it without you." 

"Oh." 

"How was your tour?"

"It was....different," he finally settles on. "Nice, in a way, to have company from Seb and Rachel, and of course LA was fine because I've just been staying here. The show was better this time. Honestly? I think I would have maybe enjoyed it had it not been for us." 

"Yeah...it was nice to spend time with Wes..."

"Talking about me." 

"I didn't say that," Blaine says with an exasperated sigh. "And for your information I haven't told anyone anything."

"Why? I didn't think you could use the bathroom without texting Wes to inform him."

"Will you stop?" Blaine snaps. "I don't want to talk to Wes about all this, I want to talk to you. This isn't a problem for Wes to deal with, or our parents, or Rachel, Joe.... This is us. Our marriage and our crisis. If we can't resolve this man to man- together as husbands- then we don't deserve to be married at all."

"So how do we resolve it?" Kurt asks, arms folded defiantly.

"Compromise."

"I don't compromise. Ever."

"Then damn well learn," Blaine snaps. 

"I don't think I can handle this," Kurt says, shaking his head. "This is gonna escalate, I can feel it."

"Did I push you into this too young, is that it?" 

"What? No!" Kurt cries. "I proposed to you, remember?"

"Then if you think you're mature enough to be married, why can't you be mature enough to compromise? Huh? That's what marriage is about, Kurt. It's not giving in, it's not being weak, it's wanting to make that one special person happy, while still being true to yourself." 

"How?"

"Well....I've made a start by telling Riccardo I won't do the summer tours."

"Why? I thought you enjoyed them?"

"I do," he shrugs, "except for New York. But you like to tour each summer too, and then we end up on opposite sides of the country, both moaning about missing each other. So I'll come with you. For all or part of it, it's up to you. But we can have time together instead of over a month apart."

"So....by return you expect me to accompany you on every tour?" he says as Blaine winces at his choice of words. 

"Not expect, no," he says evenly. "I'd like it, of course. And I do think it's probably a good way for us to do the travelling we've always wanted to do...but if you don't want to, I'm not going to force you." 

"No. You're not."

"I'm scaling back my commitments too," he carries on, ignoring Kurt's biting remark. "I'm dropping the commercial writing to focus solely on the orchestra. We don't need the money, and it will give me more time at home with you."

"You don't like my career choice, do you?"

Blaine pauses, taken aback by the directness of his question and he weighs his answer carefully. "I don't have any problem at all with you acting," he says carefully. "I love watching you on stage and I am incredibly proud of you. It's...it's everything else that accompanies it that I have the problem with- namely the audition process and what it does to you when you don't get cast." 

"Can I ask why you're doing this?"

"I think that you're right," Blaine shrugs. "In many ways it's become all about me. I never set out for that to happen, things just kind of fell that way and I didn't realize before it was almost too late. But I'm hoping that by doing this we will have more time to focus on each other, maybe take vacations together...I don't know..." 

"I like the sound of that," Kurt says with a tiny smile. "A lot." He stands and walks over to Blaine, looking down to where he sits looking up with shining amber eyes. "Blaine?" He trails one finger delicately along his jaw.

"Yes?" 

"Thank you. And I just want you to know....that I am willing to compromise too....I just need to work a few things out in my head first, okay?" 

"Um...can I ask...is that...will it take long?"

"I hope not," he says with a faltering smile. "Will you wait for me?"

"Always." 

And he does. The whole time they're in LA, Blaine never pushes, never asks Kurt to discuss anything and never speaks his mind. They cling to one another all night long, though they never move beyond those all important kisses they both seem to need to survive. Their day times are busy as they always are on a family visit, and they tend to shy away from one another and immerse themselves in spending time with others, simply because when faced with having to interact in public, they just don't seem to know how. 

After three days they fly home in near silence, both dreading the return and knowing that something must be broached at some point. "This is ridiculous," Kurt eventually says as they step from the airport into blazing Chicago sunshine. "Things are better but not better."

"I don't really know what to say," Blaine shrugs as he waits for a cab. "Except we always knew it would be like this really. We knew there wasn't going to be much chance for in depth discussion when we've got my dad showing off his walking skills, Maddie and Taylor bickering and mom running around calling everyone darling." 

"I guess. Tonight then," Kurt says decisively as the cab takes them home. "We can talk properly tonight." 

"Yes." 

It's only once they're through their front door that it hits Blaine. "Oh shit! It's the eighteenth today, right?"

"Yes. Why?" 

"I've just remembered....we can't talk tonight. I have a reception thing....to formally announce me as the company pianist."

"Are you shitting me?"

"No! Riccardo told me about it before I left but I've been so worked up and immersed in us I forgot all about it until now. I'm sorry, Kurt." 

"Can't you cancel?"

"No," he shakes his head firmly. "It's the first time they've ever taken on a full time concert pianist...and I'm the orchestra leader too...the press will be there, all the members...dignitaries...I have to go."

"Fine," Kurt flares. "Just don't expect me to be by your side." Storming to the bedroom, he slams the door loudly, leaving Blaine to trail dejectedly to the piano to brush up a few pieces for the evening ahead. He moves tentatively into the bedroom, from which Kurt has not emerged, and pauses by the side of the bed, looking down at him and wondering if this time, this is it.

"Please come with me Kurt."

"No."

No more is said, and Blaine showers and dresses, feeling tears pricking at his eyes as he fastens his own bow tie. Moving to the bed once more, he crouches down at the side, coming into Kurt's eyeline making him immediately look away. "Please," he whispers. "I need you."

"No." 

"People know I'm married, they'll be expecting me to show with my other half."

"Take Santana, I'm sure she'll enjoy it."

"I don't want to take Santana, I want to take you." 

"And why do I want to spend my whole evening at a party to honor you and your talent?" Kurt snaps, starting to yell as he sits up and runs his hands through his hair. "Huh? It's all I ever hear, Blaine! I don't need a party full of it too. Aaagh! I just cannot handle it anymore!" Tearing at his hair in frustration he storms into the living room where an angered Blaine follows him. "You know, you think that by telling me you're not doing summer tours anymore, that makes it all okay, but it doesn't! You think you can offer to come on tour with me and it'll all be fine, but what if I don't want to tour in a shitty musical, Blaine? What if I hate every goddamn fucking second of it, but I'm too scared to admit that even to myself? What then? And to get home today and find you're suddenly unwilling to talk about our marriage because you're going to a fucking party!"

"Is this just about the party though?" Blaine yells back loudly. "Is it?"

"I don't know, Blaine. Why don't you tell me what you think it's about?" Kurt snarks, "Seeing as we're clearly going around in this circle again." 

"I think it's jealousy," he says boldly. "I think it's because you somehow thought you had to spend another summer touring, but you know what? You didn't have to if you hated it that much. We could have gone with the symphony together, then we could have flown to Italy, we could have gone back to Hawaii..."

"And that makes it all okay? Huh? No, Blaine. You don't get it, do you? You go on tour and stay in top class hotels, you and your little band are revered all over the world while I sleep in crappy motels with dirty beds, sharing dressing rooms with a gay midget named Carl who has personal hygiene issues."

"But you chose this, Kurt! You decided this is what you want."

"Because I'm not gonna be that man, Blaine!" he screams, now completely out of control. "I'm not gonna be the house husband, or in a few years the stay at home dad, stuck in the suburbs with the kid and the dog, waiting for you to bring home your paycheck. I won't be reliant on you."

"So break away from acting!" Blaine yells frustratedly, hands balling into fists of rage. "Turn to costume design, I keep telling you that! God knows you're talented enough. You don't need applause from half hearted audiences to feel good about yourself, Kurt. You just need to be loved." His voice turns desperate and sad, noticing his husband as if for the first time, standing alone in the middle of the living room, silently sobbing and looking so young, so lost and so terribly afraid. "And I love you, Kurt," he says quietly. "I love you." 

"It's easy for you though Blaine," Kurt sobs with a shake of his head. "You make good money, you do a job you love, people adore you and I...I just struggle along quietly in your shadow, scared to jump into the real world for fear of yet more failure."

Blaine reaches out, hand trembling as he touches Kurt's forearm lightly and sighs. "Kurt. I can't make directors pick you, I can't create roles for you, and most of all, I can't give you courage. I can only love you and support you. I made a promise, a vow to do just that and I always, always will. But I won't make myself miserable to make you feel good, I won't fail so you can be happy. I'm doing something I always wanted to do, yes. But I am thirty seven years old, Kurt. You know, more than anyone how long and how hard I have worked to get here. You can turn this around if you really want to. You just need to believe in yourself."

"Do you?" Kurt asks, lifting his face to him as tears stream down his cheeks. 

"If I didn't believe in you then I'd never have fallen in love with you," Blaine answers, bending to kiss his hand gently, and then he is gone. 

*  
"Because then he said to me, Louisa, dear, I wasn't talking about Carnegie hall!" The lady talking with Blaine and Ken laughs loudly at her own joke, eyes flicking to Blaine who manages a weak smile. Clearly offended at not being the center of his attention, she turns her conversation to others in their group and ignores him as Ken hands him a drink. 

"Blaine?"

"Please don't," he whispers. "I'll break down." 

"I hate seeing you like this," Ken says quietly. "What's going on? Is it something to do with you and Kurt?"

"Yes," he confirms. "He's... We're not..."

"Blaine!" Riccardo booms. "Meet Hans. Hans is the director of Michigan opera. He like you. He need you to play for a production." he squeezes Blaine's arm quickly and smiles reassuringly, leaving the two of them to talk. "Ah," he whispers to Ken. "I was hoping he would come back happier, but no. No Kurt either." 

"They can't be over," a horrified Ken whispers back. "Can they?"

"I hope not," Riccardo says. "I really hope not." 

*

When the phone rings Kurt ignores it, staying curled up on the living room rug where he's been since Blaine left. The caller then tries his cell, over and over again until he gropes his way from the darkened room to the hall where he picks it up from the table. 

"Martha?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"It's really late."

"I know. Listen kid, I've just had a call. Paul Dubinsky watched Seven Brides last week in LA."

"Paul Dubinsky the director?"

"No, the guy who works the checkout in Wal-Mart. What do you think? Anyway....he was very impressed by you."

"Really?" Kurt laughs disbelievingly. "Wow."

"Yeah. He's casting for Rent," she says as Kurt's breath catches in his throat. "A six week run here, in Chicago. He wants you for Roger."

"He...what?" Kurt whispers, clutching the phone tight. "I don't even have to audition?"

"Nope. You're his first choice, kid. This is it. This is your big break." 

*

"That's a really kind offer, thank you," Blaine says politely to Hans. "But I'm...." His jaw drops as Kurt approaches, dressed to perfection in a tux, hair impeccably styled and nervously biting on his lip. "Excuse me," Blaine whispers, not really caring if Hans hears or not. All eyes are on him as he walks a few steps closer to his husband, heart beating unreasonably fast. "What are you doing here?" He says quietly. 

"Fighting for you." Kurt's answer comes loud and clear as Blaine's breath catches in his throat, and he takes another step toward him. "I've decided to quit acting."

"You...." Blaine starts, but he's unable to finish his sentence, staring at Kurt instead who seems emboldened by his own words. 

"It's not for me. You were right. I have neither the patience or skin thick enough to deal with it, it's destroying me....destroying us....and our marriage is what I hold dear. You are more precious to me than anything or anyone else. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling of being held by you, to the thrill of calling you my husband or to the knowledge that you and I love each other endlessly.   
You captured my heart when I was just fifteen years old, Blaine. I was shy, insecure, and broken. You patiently took care of me, waited for me, nurtured me and loved me, never asking or expecting anything in return. Sometimes, when people look at us I think they just see a couple with a startling age difference. But we're so much more than that. And people have no idea, none at all, of how much you've both given up for me and given to me. I don't know why, given how I treat you at times, but I know that I'm so grateful that you have. I'm done with feeling sorry for myself, I'm done with playing the victim because I have more than anyone else could ever wish for. I have you.   
I have you, I love you and I am never, ever going to lose you without putting up a damn good fight to keep you. Acting means nothing to me if it comes at the expense of our relationship.  
I know you would never ask or expect me to choose, but I want to do this, and I do so willingly.  
I'm just so incredibly sorry that it's taken me this long to realize, and I can only beg for your forgiveness once again. I've been horrible to you, Blaine. Really, truly awful and I won't hide from that or try to make any excuses. You have every right to walk away from me without a single ounce of blame- but know this; I don't know what I'm going to do now, or where to go from here but I promise you that if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will be by your side for every concert, reception and tour that there is. I will love, support and praise you because you make me so incredibly proud. You deserve all of your success and more, Blaine, and you deserve a husband free of bitterness and contempt, who will love you unconditionally.... And I'd just really like the chance to be that person." 

"Everything," Blaine says quietly, closing the gap between them. "I forgive you for everything." 

Taking Kurt's face in his hands, he kisses his lips slowly, teasingly, before giving in to his thirst and paying no heed to nearly the entire room looking on, kisses his husband fervently. Over and over again their mouths move together as they melt into one another, Kurt's hands coming up to grip at the back of Blaine's jacket and pull him close, closer still. 

"I think they made up," Riccardo whispers to Ken, who nods. 

"To be fair, that was a pretty impressive speech. I'd forgive him a multitude of sins if he spoke to me like that."

"I don't think he loves you the same."

"No," Ken laughs and takes a drink from a passing tray. "I think there's only one for each of them." 

They try their best to get the hubbub of conversation going again, leaving Kurt and Blaine to kiss with no signs of ever wanting to stop. Hans raises an eyebrow but says nothing, and if any of the other assembled guests have a problem with their impropriety, they are far too polite to say. 

"I think I send Blaine home for sex," Riccardo tells Hans with a devilish grin. "Blaine!" he booms across the room. "I send you home for sexy time with your boy husband."

"Not the best choice of words," Ken mutters from by his side, "but I think you got the message across." 

They finally break their kiss, lips red and swollen and eyes sparkling with happiness. "Home?" Blaine asks, his voice low and sultry.

"Home." 

They make out continually for the cab ride home and stumble into the elevator with their lips still attached. They only pull apart once they're inside the apartment, where Kurt loosens his bow tie and opens the neck of his shirt. 

"Kurt...are you sure?" Blaine asks, leaning against the wall of the hallway and watching him. 

"About wanting you?"

"No...giving up acting. I mean...it was your dream...."

Kurt sighs, taking Blaine's hand and leading him into the living room, flipping on a lamp and guiding him to the couch. "Sexy time with your boy husband can wait a moment," he says with a smile. "I know you're only going to worry, so let me explain." 

Blaine listens patiently as Kurt relays his entire phone call with his agent, explaining how he had decided immediately that this wasn't right for him. "But Rent!" Blaine says in awe. "It's only all you've ever wanted..."

"It's not though," Kurt says firmly. "I realized as Martha was speaking that this still wouldn't fulfill me. And I tried to think back to when I was happiest and I knew....it was when I allowed you to fulfill me. When we were planning the wedding, on our honeymoon, dancing the Viennese waltz in Austria....even way back when I cut class and we came here for the first time. And I could see how it would go," Kurt tells him as he looks into his eyes earnestly. "I'd immediately start pinning everything on that production. And the cycle would start over again. The stress. The paranoia. The worry about what I would do, where I would go once the run had finished, never feeling good enough, never up to par. Yet with you I feel none of those things. My heart hasn't been truly focused on you, and when it is, everything is perfect.   
When we went to New York for Finn and Rachel's wedding, she was sitting there telling us all about how she had new dreams now and all I could think was "I wish I could do that." But I can," he says firmly. "I can build new dreams, if you'll help me. I need you, Blaine. Not in a clinging to you, living in your shadow or letting you dominate type way, but I need your help, your guidance and advice and above all, I need you to love me.  
And I listened to Joe telling me how he'd moved back in with Cooper and Claire, and he told me that eventually he had realized that no amount of fame or success could replace the true happiness of finding where you belong... What can I say? He's right. I belong with you." 

"In all our years together, I don't think I've ever heard you talk like this," Blaine says quietly, tenderly brushing the hair from his forehead as he studies him. "In a way I feel like I should try and talk you out of this, but actually, I can see your mind's made up, and totally selfishly, I can see this would be best for us. And I mean what I say, Kurt. I forgive you. Everything you said was what I needed to hear. We had reached a critical point, I fear, and you came out fighting for us. I will help you, as much as you need, to find your place in the world, because that's what husbands do- you've helped me with so much. But right now I think we owe ourselves time and no one else. I too was offered a job tonight, playing piano for the Michigan opera company's performance of Madama Butterfly. I was just about to turn it down when you appeared. I'll call him tomorrow and politely decline."

"You don't have to."

"I do. My husband needs me, and I'm happy to give myself to him." 

"I'll never hurt you like that again," Kurt says softly, taking Blaine's hand in his own. "I promise."

"I know you won't."

"Because you won't let me?"

"No, because I trust you to keep your word. I love you and you love me. We've made mistakes, we've had a rough few months but we both want to keep this alive and tonight you've proven to me just how much you want our marriage to work.  
Now I think our next step is to get online and book a vacation somewhere...anywhere...but soon." 

It is the early hours before they get to bed, satisfied at having found the perfect vacation in Barbados leaving in two days. A quick check with Riccardo- "I no mind, Blaine! Now go, have lots of sexy time and bring me back a gift!"- and their tickets are booked. 

They are tired, overwhelmed with everything and filled with a sense of peace and calm that neither has felt in many months and they know that all will be well. "Sleepy," Kurt murmurs, curling up on his side and rubbing his nose against Blaine's in a sweet Eskimo kiss. 

"Mmmm, same. Kiss me though, before sleep." 

Their kissing quickly turns into more; a deep, profound need to reconnect on a physical level as well as mentally and emotionally making them take time to pour over one another's bodies with delectable kisses and delicate touches. "I think I might cry," Kurt says as he stills between his husband's legs, buried in his heat. 

"Am I that bad?"

"Ha!" Kurt laughs, leaning down to capture his lips in a light kiss. "The opposite. You're totally perfect." He blinks and a small tear escapes, which Blaine leans up to kiss away and Kurt takes the opportunity to reposition, pulling Blaine into his lap instead and rocking inside him slowly. "Closer to you," he explains, kissing at his shoulder. 

They take their time, with gentle, tender and unhurried movements- soft caresses and sweet kisses which elicit long drawn out sighs of happiness until they both tip over the edge quietly clinging to one another, kissing lazily as they come down from the high and breathless euphoria of finally being together again. 

They bicker fondly about how to sleep that night- with Kurt wanting to play little spoon but Blaine wanting to claim his usual spot. He wins out in the end, playing the age card and insisting he needs sympathy because he's so old, which makes Kurt laugh and happily accept his head onto his chest. Blaine is already halfway to dreamland when Kurt speaks softly. 

"Are you still awake?"

"No."

"Good. Perfect opportunity for me to tell you how much I love you, my very dear, very old man."

"Cheeky," Blaine mutters. "Are you asleep?"

"Totally."

"Then I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that I may be old but I can still kick your ass. Oh, and I love you too, my gorgeous boy."


	41. Chapter 41

It is a laughing, happy couple who return from Barbados a week later, holding hands and grinning inanely at one another, dissolving into fits of uncontrollable laughter when Blaine walks headlong into a signpost. 

"Are you...are you okay?" Kurt laughs, doubled over helplessly.

"Just about," Blaine grumbles as he rubs his head, but it's all good natured as he gives Kurt a playful shove. "It's your fault," he grins. "I was too busy looking at you instead of where I was going." 

Their week away has consisted solely of sun, sea and sex- with lots of food for sustenance thrown in for good measure. They are re-energized, refocused and back on track, with both now confident about a very bright future together. Their vacation has given them time to formulate a plan for Kurt- that being that he will take time out to decide what he would like to try, and he decides to look into college courses after Blaine assures him there is no rush for him to start earning again. 

He wakes the next morning to find an enormous bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table with a note from Blaine telling him he's gone for a meeting but will be back for dinner, and reminding him as ever, that he is loved. Grinning like a lovesick fool, he reaches for the cereal when the phone starts to ring. 

"Kurt?"

"Oh hey Kathy," he says cheerily. "How are you?"

"Is Blaine there?" she asks, ignoring his question completely.

"No, he's out all day. Is everything okay?" 

"No," she says tearfully. "I just went to the dress shop to check on something and it's gone."

"The dress?"

"The shop!" she wails. "The whole place is boarded up and there's no sign of anyone. I tried the owners cell but the number is no longer active....Kurt they have my money and my dress and I have no money and no dress and four weeks to the wedding! What the hell am I going to do?"

"What do you expect Blaine to do?" he asks curiously.

"Tell Wes, cause he'll get mad at me!"

"No he won't," Kurt chuckles. "He'll be mad, but it won't be at you. Okay. We need a plan." Setting down his cereal he grabs his iPad and starts to look for wedding shops in Chicago. "Drive here and I'll take you shopping." 

"I can't," she says through her tears. "I have Mike with me."

"As in Blaine's dad?"

"Yes. I care for him every Monday so Sara can go to bridge and...well...have a break really. I know he's doing so much better but it's still incredibly hard work. So I take him to physio and then out for lunch...it's nice. We have fun."

"Where is he now?"

"In the car, waiting for me. I'm still standing outside the dress shop." 

"You are incredibly sweet," Kurt says, in awe of her compassion. "Okay." Grabbing a sketchbook and pencils, he leaves his cereal untouched as he runs into the bedroom and starts to gather his clothes. "Carry on with your day, get Mike to his appointment and then take him for lunch. I'll meet you at your place this afternoon."

"To go shopping?"

"No. To design your dress." 

*

Blaine- A really long story but Kathy had a crisis with her dress. As a result I am now on my way to Westerville to design one for her. I'll stay with dad overnight and come home tomorrow.   
I love you xxxx

Ps- Santana will be arriving at eight with takeout.

"So that's all you got?" Santana asks, handing the note back to Blaine and helping herself to more food. 

"Yep," Blaine shrugs. "Though I have spoken with him since. They've come up with a design, and they're going to source material tomorrow, then Kurt will come home to start work on it right away."

"How long until the wedding?"

"Four weeks."

"Haha," Santana laughs. "Your life is gonna be hell." 

"No it won't," Blaine bristles. "Kurt and I are back on track...stronger than ever in fact. I can hold my tongue for a few weeks."

"Kurt is a control freak and a perfectionist," she points out, making Blaine swallow nervously. "And he's attempting to design and make a wedding dress in four weeks..... Yeah. You'll be lucky to make it to England with your balls still in tact."

But to everyone's surprise- not least Kurt himself- Santana is wrong. Every day Blaine comes home bracing himself for pandemonium and a tetchy, snappy husband...but that side of Kurt never appears. He works solidly from nine to five, stopping at one for a quick lunch break. When Blaine walks through the front door he downs tools and greets him warmly, both sharing the details of their day over dinner before spending the evening together happily doing whatever they please- usually singing together or playing board games. Wes rings at least twice a day, fearful that at some point he will be answered by a very tearful Blaine who will blame him and his fiancée for ruining his marriage...but it just never happens. 

"He's really okay?"

"Better than okay," Blaine says, still baffled. "In fact I'd say he's happier than ever. There's no stress, no worry...he's just...Kurt. Laughing, being witty and completely and utterly loving every aspect of this dress making thing."

"Yeah, about that. I need to pay Kurt for the material and his time, if you can let me know what I owe..."

"Nope. No way. Kurt wants this to be his gift to Kathy."

"Blaine, she won't let me do that."

"She hasn't got a choice. He doesn't want payment for doing this and we neither of us want payment for the materials. Honestly, you and Kathy have given us and our family so much...please accept this as our gift to you."

"I can never thank you enough," Wes says softly.

"Yeah you can, you can marry her and have cute little babies that call us uncle Blaine and uncle Kurt," he laughs.

"Okay," Wes grins. "What's it like? The dress?"

"I don't know. I'm not allowed to see it."

"What?"

"Kurt says I'll get drunk at your bachelor party and tell you every detail."

"Oh." Wes pauses. "He's probably right. Has Santana been to visit at all?"

"Nice try, Wes, but she's barred too. Same reason." 

"I hear your parents are in town this weekend..."

"Wesley! Ten days. That's all you've gotta wait. And I don't know what it's like, but I can assure you of this; Kathy will look radiantly beautiful." 

*

"I've never been so nervous in my whole entire life," Wes whispers as he stares resolutely ahead at the large crucifix on the church wall. 

"Relax," Blaine murmurs with a brief squeeze of his hand as he glances quickly over his shoulder. "Okay. I can see Alice at the back of the church and I can hear Jonathan's camera....so I'd say she's arrived." 

The traditional wedding march starts up and Blaine sees a quick glimpse of the bride before catching his husbands eye and grinning broadly. The dress is quite simply stunning. Alice leads the way in her emerald green bridesmaids dress, the color of which Kurt had picked purposely to match Kathy's eyes. The bride herself is in an elegant, traditional gown with a train. Strapless and made from a delicate creamy satin, Kurt has hand stitched hundreds of tiny crystal beads all over in intricate patterns, making Kathy glow radiantly as she walks smiling down the aisle on the arm of her father. Blaine hears the murmurs that follow her, sees the phones held up to capture the moment and beams with pride at his husbands work. 

"You're gonna cry," he whispers to Wes as he turns to the front once more. "Santana is in floods already so this doesn't bode well for either you or I." 

"Oh crap."

"I don't think you can say crap in a church."

"Fuck."

*

"I have been waiting for this moment all day," Blaine whispers to Kurt as they waltz together. "Holding you, dancing with you."

"People are watching us," a suddenly shy Kurt says, stiffening in his husbands hold. 

"Probably in awe of the amazing dress designer."

"No....I think it's because we're two guys. Kathy's family look remarkably put out." 

"So?" Blaine smiles softly at him as they continue to dance together. "We're here for Kathy and Wes, not them. Besides, they must have known already. Only a gay man could design a dress as fabulous as that."

"I keep wanting to be all self deprecating and say something like ah no, it wasn't that great but..."

"But you can't, because you know how good it was, don't you?"

"I do," he nods, letting a small laugh escape. "And I know how wonderful it felt to make it. To see it all come together like that....it felt so good, Blaine. So damn good." 

"Maybe you should think about designing wedding dresses for a living?" Blaine offers. "I know you are amazing at regular clothes...but you have this inherent flamboyance that would suit designing gowns of that nature."

"Hmm," Kurt wrinkles his nose as he thinks. "I'm not sure. I enjoyed it, and I'll admit it's crossed my mind...but I don't know if it's me. Flamboyance, yes. But I'm not sure how many brides would appreciate sequins being incorporated into their designs." 

"Ha! Good point."

"Besides which, designing it as a one off it stayed fresh, but I can see that it would become stale. The bridal fashion world moves very slowly in comparison to regular fashion. I can envisage getting six brides all wanting the same type of dress design and I'd just get bored." 

"Well anyway... At least you can say you've done this. And she looked wonderful."

"It was a beautiful wedding," Kurt agrees. "Not as beautiful as ours..."

"Of course," Blaine smiles, then his face turns serious as he studies him. "Can I kiss you?"

"Now?" Kurt glances around quickly. "I don't know. I mean, I don't think people would really approve."

"That's okay," Blaine says evenly. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to try and convey how proud I am, that's all."

"Kiss me," Kurt grins, and Blaine happily obliges, stopping their dance to pull him close, teasing him with a featherlight touch until Kurt chuckles and fists the front of his jacket, claiming his mouth in a deeply passionate kiss that leaves them both breathless. 

"Looks like Kurt and Blaine will be leaving soon," Wes observes as he dances with his new wife. 

"Oh my goodness," Kathy says, eyes wide as she watches them kiss again. "My Grandma will be having a fit." 

"You want me to stop them?" 

"No," she says, resting her head on his shoulder once more. "They're too darn cute." 

*

After a few more days in England with Jonathan and Teresa, Kurt and Blaine return home. Blaine knows it isn't easy for Kurt to go back to unemployment once more, and he attempts to distract him by claiming he needs a couple of suits made, but Kurt's heart isn't in it and he just smiles tightly and says he'll do it at some point. 

"Do you want to meet me for lunch?" Blaine asks on his first day back at work. He is spooned behind Kurt as they lie together in the early morning, and Blaine knows Kurt has been awake for hours. 

"Can I politely decline?" he asks as he plays with his husband's wedding ring. 

"You can decline, and you don't have to be polite about it at all " Blaine says sweetly. "I understand."

"I'll be okay," Kurt says with a small nod of self assurance. 

"I know you will. And you're entitled to feel this way, Kurt. Why don't we sit down tonight and take a look at college courses? You might find something you want to try." 

"All that work for a degree I'm not gonna use," he says sadly. 

"Oh Kurt," Blaine sighs. "We'll figure it out, I promise."

Kurt stays in bed that day, giving himself over to his self pity and making a silent promise that he will get back on track tomorrow. At some point between aimlessly browsing Amazon for things he doesn't need and watching animal clips on youtube, he drifts to sleep, waking to his cell phone ringing on the nightstand. Assuming it is Blaine, he rolls over and accepts the call without even opening his eyes. 

"I'm wallowing," he says morosely.

"Um....that's....nice?" an unfamiliar voice says, making Kurt sit up sharply. "Uh...I was trying to reach Kurt Hummel."

"Yes, yes that's me," he says hastily. "Well, Hummel-Anderson now. Sorry, I thought the call would be my husband."

"Oh, well...no. This is Anna Farris. We met at your showcase?" 

"Oh!" Kurt says in surprise. "Yes...costume designer. Yes, I remember."

"Thank goodness," she laughs. "I've been trying to track you down for so long. I remembered that you were in the same class as Joe Mackenzie."

"Yes," Kurt laughs. "He's my best friend."

"Really? Well I managed to get hold of his manager who would only tell me that he knew of you, and that you were married to someone in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, so then I contacted the conductor. Some Italian guy. A complete nutcase."

"Riccardo," Kurt says, laughing loudly, "and yes, he is."

"Did you know he calls your husband spectacular gay Blaine?"

"Yes," Kurt sighs.

"And you, boy husband?"

"Yes."

"Oh," she pauses. "Well anyway, he gave me your number, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," he says politely. "But uh...does this call have a point?" 

"Oh! Yes, yes," she laughs and Kurt hears papers rustling in the background. "I'm um...I'm well....oh dear." She sighs, huffing a nervous laugh down the line. "Okay. Honesty hour. The Wind in the Willows is going into production at the Cadillac in January and they're looking for a costume designer. It's my favorite story book, Kurt. I've read it so many times both as an adult and a child and when I was small I used to draw the characters for hours on end. I need this contract. It simply cannot belong to anyone else. But the thing is...for me, on my own, it's too much. I need someone who can work alongside me, who can think like I do, see things the way I see them...and bring their own imagination, passion and dedication to the work too. You've been on my mind almost daily for the last eighteen months, and I know it's a long shot but I wondered if there was any way you would consider...."

"Yes." Kurt's answer is firm, resolute and he hears a hopeful gasp from Anna.

"What? Yes, what?"

"Yes I'll design them with you, make them with you...yes....I'll do whatever you want."

"Are you serious? You'll put the acting on hold to help me out?" she asks incredulously.

"I'm not acting anymore," he says as slowly a smile starts to form. "I've been floundering for the last two months trying to decide exactly what it is I want to do....but you know what? My husband has known all along, because he knows me better than I know myself, and I think you've just come up with the solution."

"Sounds like a rather wonderful husband to have. So....if you're not acting anymore...." she starts, beaming away on the other end of the line. "Would you consider not only helping me on this project but with all my work? We could be Farris and Hummel-Anderson, costume designers, or something."

"Anderson," Kurt says, now grinning broadly. "My working name is Kurt Anderson." 

*  
BLAAAAAAAINEEEEE!!!! 

Rachel?

NO!!! ME!!! WHERE ARE YOU??!!

At the deli. Why are you shouting?

I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!

I beg to differ.

GET HOME!!! NOW!!!

I'm in line.

OKAY, NOW I'M SHOUTING. GET HOME!!!

But the cheese...

I CAN'T MAKE THESE CAPITALS ANY BIGGER, BLAINE!!! JUST GET HOME!!! I HAVE NEWS!!! WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL NEWS!!!

"I got cheesecake!" an extremely out of breath Blaine pants when he bursts through the door twenty minutes later. "What's the news? Did you find a college course?"

"No...even better!" Kurt squeals, not giving a damn about maturity or propriety as he jumps up and down on the spot, clapping his hands in excitement. "You are now looking at Kurt Anderson, theatrical costume designer."

"I'm sorry, you've lost me," Blaine says, setting the cheesecake on the counter. "Start at the very beginning.... It's a very good place to start."

"Thank you Maria," Kurt says dryly, and then he explains, leaving Blaine standing in the kitchen, jaw slack as he works around nothing for a moment before coming to life.

"This is....this is incredible."

"I know!" Kurt cries happily. "And I just knew, Blaine, as soon as she started to ask, I just knew this was right for me, right for us. This is what I was made to do, born to do...but I don't need to tell you that, do I? And you know, I'm still going to be using my degree to some extent, because as an actor I know how to move, what's required from a costume to make the actors comfortable on stage, and I can put all that into my design."

"And you're sure you're going to work under that name? Because you don't have to, I won't be offended."

"I want to." Kurt moves to him, taking both his hands in his. "I want to because you knew this was my path a long, long time before I did. Because you've stood by, gently guiding me and allowing me to discover it all for myself, and I can never thank you enough, and because you've been wearing that world's most supportive husband hat since day one. I want to do this in your name."

"So can I tell you I told you so now?"

"Only if you kiss me right after."

"I told you so," Blaine whispers, before grabbing him and kissing him hard. "And I'm proud of you," he says, kissing him once more. "And I love you," he says before kissing him again. "And we're celebrating however you want. We can go out for dinner if you'd like."

"No." Kurt shakes his head and leans forward to kiss him lightly on the lips. "I want to call my dad and then celebrate by eating cheesecake and having loud, raucous sex."

"Yes," Blaine says with a fist pump. "I was kinda hoping. And champagne, maybe?"

"Maybe," Kurt says, bopping his nose. "But not too much. Anna is arriving at nine to discuss ideas."

"Oh. It's my day off. Okay, I'll make myself scarce,"

"No you won't," Kurt laughs. "I know it's your day off. I want you to be here to meet her. If we're going to work together she's going to become an important part of my life, and by default, yours too." 

"You want me to meet her?" Blaine asks, his whole face lighting up with delight. 

"Yes. I want her to see what a wonderful husband I have," Kurt smiles. "Can you do one thing for me?"

"Anything for you."

"Run a bath while I call dad?"

"Want me to scrub your back?"

"No, I want you to get naked and wait in there for me."

"I'm on it!" 

*

Anna arrives the next morning at nine o'clock sharp, and her and Kurt set to work right away. "Obviously these are just initial designs," she says to Kurt as they spread out at the kitchen table. "If we get the contract we will be working with the director as well, who will certainly want some input. It's knowing when to listen and when to ignore that's key. A lot of directors forget what they've said anyway, so you can tell them anything was their idea and they'll be happy. Now, rehearsals start in January, the show runs from march second for six weeks. The company will have costume makers, but I like to oversee a lot of it myself, and I would suggest we certainly make Toad, Ratty, Badger and Mole ourselves," she carries on, nodding her thanks to Blaine who wordlessly sets two cups of coffee on the table and retreats. "Once the run starts you'll be expected to be there for opening night, but after that you're free. Is that okay? Am I talking a lot? I do talk a lot. Please tell me to be quiet." 

Kurt laughs, and warmth flares in the pit of Blaine's stomach to hear him sounding so happy. "I talk a lot too, so that's fine," he says. "And the schedule sounds achievable. Blaine is on tour starting March twenty fifth for three weeks, and I accompany him on all tours, but once I return we could look to starting something new... But you're talking like we have the contract already."

"We need it Kurt. We really do." 

Two weeks later they present to the director and producer, and are both able to talk through their designs. They are hired on the spot, and that night Kurt, Blaine, Anna and her husband Marcus go out for dinner to celebrate. Despite being thirty years his senior, Anna and Kurt quickly become firm friends, and Blaine is struck with how similar they are to one another as they laugh and joke their way through the meal. When they return home, Blaine takes him in his arms, nuzzling in close against his neck, kissing behind his ear and making him shiver. 

"You are magnificent," he whispers as Kurt closes his eyes. "Happy Kurt is the best kind of Kurt there is."

"I have a gift for you," Kurt says suddenly. "Wait right there."

He returns and hands a bag to Blaine, who looks inside and laughs loudly. "Kurt Hummel-Anderson!"

"I'm expecting you to wear it," Kurt says, making Blaine laugh loudly. "It may not be a Kurt Anderson original, but the idea was mine...and oh my goodness I can see why you never wear baseball caps."

Blaine stands there in a bright red cap, with 'World's most supportive husband' emblazoned in yellow, hands on hips and trying to remain straight faced as Kurt laughs. 

"I like my hat," he says. "I'm going to wear it at all times."

"You're not," Kurt laughs, taking it from his head and tossing it onto the couch. "You can keep wearing the metaphorical one though. That one's allowed." 

"And I'll wear you," Blaine whispers, voice sultry again as he sidles up to Kurt, making his intentions clear. 

"Into the ground?"

"Rude," he smiles with a playful nudge. "No, like a badge of honor."

"Wear me naked and wrapped around you," Kurt says, arching his neck for Blaine to kiss there. 

"That could work." 

*

As with the wedding dress making, Kurt remains calm, happy and upbeat throughout the costume designing process. Blaine and Kurt's birthdays come and go, followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas and although Kurt works harder than ever, he and Blaine remain totally in love and dedicated to one another. 

It is a lazy, snowy Sunday afternoon in February, two weeks before the show opening and Kurt sits quietly at the kitchen table sketching final alterations to mole's costume, humming a little tune occasionally which breaks off when he enters into a period of deep concentration, with the tip of his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he draws. He becomes aware of Blaine's eyes on him and looks up to see him lying the length of the couch, arms folded behind his head, watching. 

Blaine smiles slowly, eyes sparkling. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt grins, shakes his head, sets his pencil down and walks over to the couch. "Shift over."

Blaine does so happily, snuggling down and letting Kurt's arms wrap around him, his fingers coming up to play lazily with the curls at the back of his neck. Sighing contentedly, Blaine kisses at his collar bone then closes his eyes, hoping that a nap might be on the cards. 

"Happy little chappy, aren't you?" Kurt says, smiling into his soft hair. 

"Totally." 

"Content?"

"Completely."

"Nothing....missing? Nothing you would change, if you could?"

"No..." Blaine says slowly, lifting his head to look at him. "Why? Where's this going?"

"Nowhere," Kurt says airily. "Just checking on my husband's welfare," he says, pushing his head back onto his chest. "That's all." 

"Well it's all good from where I'm standing...or lying," Blaine says with a yawn. 

"I'm looking forward to Russia."

"Me too. It'll be amazing."

"Maybe when we get back we could...." Kurt starts, but he trails off once he realizes Blaine is sleeping soundly, kissing the top of his head instead and smiling to himself. "Oh Blaine. How I love you."


	42. Chapter 42

The opening night of Wind in the Willows is a huge success for all concerned. Kurt is approached three times in the bar during the intermission alone, by directors and producers keen to have him and Anna on board for their next production. He radiates happiness as Blaine looks on proudly with all of their family including Cooper and his brood. After the show they head to a Thai restaurant to eat, giving Kurt a chance to catch up with everyone including Joe. 

"Those costumes were incredible," Blaine babbles happily to anyone who will listen. "They made the whole thing come alive. Kurt did that! My husband!" 

"Stop," Kurt says shyly, then gives Blaine a playful nudge. "Not really. Carry on. I could listen to you compliment my work forever. You know, your dad's speech is better than ever," he whispers as Mike regales the whole table with an embarrassing memory which has Cooper trying to hide in his wife's hair. 

"It is," Blaine says, laughing along with the story. "I mean, I know it's two years on but...yeah...he sounds good." 

"Well thanks for that, dad," Cooper is saying, the blush on his face dying down. "I can assure everyone that I'm not still peeing in swimming pools. But anyway....we have news." 

"Babies?" Mike asks hopefully. 

"I'm forty seven," Cooper says, looking at his dad. "Give it up. No.... No babies. But it is about our babies. As you know, Maddie and Taylor will be starting college in the fall. Taylor has been accepted by Michigan to study sports sciences, and Maddie will be studying here, in Chicago." 

"What?" Blaine cries excitedly as Maddie grins at him. "You're coming here? Really? That's amazing! And Tay you'll be close by....oh my goodness!" 

"That's not all," Cooper says, calling over the hubbub. "Claire and I decided that we really don't want to be the only ones left on the west coast, so we're moving back too."

"To Chicago?"

"No, we figured that wouldn't be fair on Maddie, to have her parents hanging around, we're looking at Indy," Cooper explains. "But I'm working on a film that will take me into next year, so we won't move until about a years time."

"This is wonderful, darlings!" Sara says happily, moving around the table and kissing everyone. "I'm so happy! So happy!"

"Excellent news," Burt smiles. "See? Y'all can fly the nest but eventually you find your way back," he says with a smile. 

"What about Joe?" Kurt asks, and everyone turns quiet as Joe hangs his head. 

"Well...." Cooper says, a slow smile forming. "I think you'd better ask Maddie about that." 

"What?" Kurt asks, slow to catch on. "Why would I....oh! Joseph? Are you dating my niece?" he asks, voice low as Maddie reddens and fiddles with the tablecloth. "Are you?"

"It's...sorta...kinda.... Cooper said it was okay so you can't hit me!" he splutters, making everyone smile. 

"She's seventeen!" Blaine explodes, which has the entire table, even Kurt, laughing loudly. "You're twenty three!" 

"Honey," Kurt says sweetly, patting his hand. "Think about what you just said." 

"We're not about to move in together," Joe says, gazing at the young girl who smiles bashfully. "But I am serious about her. Hollywood is fun, but lonely. So I'm moving back to Chicago. That way I can be near Maddie, and you two fools," he grins. "I'll still be acting, but I'll just fly to wherever I'm needed, film and come home." 

"See?" Burt says again, making everyone roll their eyes. "Y'all can fly the nest...." 

"Joe's nest is in Minneapolis," Kurt points out. 

"No it's not," Cooper laughs. "It's with us." 

"Actually, it's with you," Joe says softly, taking Maddie's hand as Blaine glares. "Uncle Blaine, are you mad?" he teases. 

"Yes," he says honestly. "But it is sorta cute that she's gone for you."

"I'm sitting right here," Maddie protests.

"I know that. She's precious to me, Joe," he explains. "That's all. I'd be like it about whoever she was dating, but I guess if it had to be anyone, I'm kinda glad it's you." 

*

"It's funny, isn't it?" Kurt muses that night as he undresses for bed. "How everything's coming full circle?"

Blaine sits up in bed, staring ahead and biting his lip. "Do you think he's sleeping with her?" he asks, ignoring Kurt completely. 

"I'm not even going to have this discussion with you," Kurt says, rolling his eyes fondly as he gathers Blaine's discarded clothes and tosses them in the hamper. "We first had sex two days before my seventeenth birthday, and you had just turned thirty two. Plus we were fooling around way before that."

"That's different."

"How? Because we were two guys? Maddie is a sensible girl who is mature for her age. She..."

"Not it's not that. It's not. It's... It's because I knew you were it for me," Blaine explains. "Honestly, if you had dumped me and moved on, I wouldn't. I knew then as I know now, that I will never love anyone else. I don't know if Joe feels that way, and I worry. Moving across the country to be with someone is a very grand gesture. I don't want Maddie to think this could be it, and then he goes off with someone else." 

"But you're not Joe," Kurt explains patiently, climbing into bed alongside him. "My dad had to place an awful lot of trust in you, if you think about it. Sure, you told him you loved me, that you never wanted to leave me, you had my best interests at heart...all of that. But it's all talk, Blaine. Only you could know what's truly on your heart. Joe seems intent on making this work. I know he's been a bit of a wide boy, but he's settled down a lot; the fact that he dislikes the Hollywood lifestyle is proof of that. You can't manage their relationship, you just need to trust that Joe will look after her. And I think he will." 

"Alright," he grumbles, sliding down the bed. "But if he hurts her I'll break his face."

"Aw honey," Kurt laughs. "You couldn't if you tried."

"I punched Adam!" 

"True," Kurt concedes. "I'd forgotten about that. Ha. I wonder what he's doing right now?"

"Who cares? He's not doing you, that's all that matters."

"Ooh, grouchy, jealous Blaine," Kurt teases, sliding down to press his weight against Blaine's back, running his hand up over his chest. "I like it." 

"I'm going to sell you to a street trader when we're in Russia," he grumps, trying to ignore the way in which Kurt's hand wanders down to the waistband of his pajamas. 

"You are not."

"Am too. And when Riccardo asks where you are I'll just say you ran away with a group of Cossack dancers because you like the hats." 

"You can keep talking nonsense while I take," Kurt breathes in his ear, sliding both their pajama pants to their ankles. "Or you can join in, it's up to you."

"Then the street trader will sell you to a bunch of gypsies," Blaine carries on, making Kurt chuckle darkly and reach for the lube, trailing one finger down his crack and making him shiver. "And the gypsies will.... Oh my....fuck....trade you for a goat...." he sighs happily as Kurt's finger enters him, teasing slowly as he kisses over Blaine's back. "And you'll live for several years as a peasant goat herder..... Yes, Kurt....there....just there..." 

He groans deep in his throat when Kurt slides two fingers inside, his breath hitching, and he angles his leg out to the side to give Kurt better access but doesn't stop talking. "Before deciding to sail to America to seek your fortune once more. When you.... Kuuuurt," he moans, lifting his hips for Kurt to enter him, which he does so willingly. "Get here you'll sell your wares, clothes you make from scraps of the ships sails and...fuck....fuck....oh god Kurt.... Fuck it," Blaine cries as Kurt stills inside him, body draped over his back and pressed close. "Take me, please, please. I'll shut up, I promise." 

Kurt laughs then slides even closer, moving only his hips back and forth as he works his hands underneath to clutch tight to Blaine's chest. They are silent except for their heavy ragged breathing, their sweat from being pressed so tightly to one another making them slide together perfectly as Blaine grabs Kurt's hand and brings his fingers to his lips, kissing each one gently. 

"You're incredible," he whispers before Kurt grabs his chin and twists him back for a kiss. They come together, gasping into one another's mouths as the friction from his cock rubbing against the sheets and Kurt pulsing inside of him proves too much for Blaine who breaks the kiss, fisitng the pillow tight with his hand and screwing his eyes shut in pleasure. "Oh...oh....Kurt..." he moans weakly, accepting his dead weight on top of him happily as they lie there sticky and sated. "You see....you'd sell your wares and travel across the country...finding me again and we'd live happily ever after," he mumbles with his face pressed into the pillow. "Because I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kurt smiles, kissing the back of his neck. "But if you think I'd forgive you for selling me in the first place, you're very wrong. And just for that, you can change the sheets," he says, rolling off and heading to the bathroom.

"I could never sell you," Blaine calls after him, balling up the sheet and tossing it in the corner where he know his husband will look at it, tut and move it to the hamper. "I'm too selfish to ever live without you."

"Good," Kurt answers, emerging from the bathroom, tutting as he picks up the sheet. "I vote we keep being selfish until the end of time." 

*

Russia is everything they imagined it could be and more. They are in awe of everything as they tour St. Petersburg and Moscow, and Kurt has no time to be bored while Blaine is in rehearsal as a phone call from Anna lets him know they have been asked to work on a production of Love Never Dies ready for the summer. So sketchbook in hand he whiles away the time until Blaine is back by his side, where he goes through every detail of every costume while Blaine listens, entranced. They have a heavy night on the vodka after the orchestra's final performance, and Kurt learns that it burns coming back up as well as going down. They are lazy the next day, surfacing for brunch with Ken and Riccardo before trudging back to their room to cuddle up in bed together.

"Home tomorrow," Blaine says as he rests his head on Kurt's chest. 

"Mmm. Back to work. I can't wait, though this trip has been wonderful."

"It has," Blaine agrees. "Hey, when we get back do you want to book a vacation? Maybe we could head back to Hawaii."

"I would love that," Kurt smiles, kissing into his hair. "We could leave as soon as I'm done with Love Never Dies," he says. "And also.... I think we should have a baby." 

Blaine sits up immediately and stares at him. And stares some more. The gentle touch of Kurt's hand to his knee as he sits too, seems to jolt him to life once more and he blinks hard, but still says nothing. 

"Did you hear me?" Kurt asks softly.

Blaine nods. 

"Are you still alive?"

Blaine shakes his head. 

"Come on Blaine. Talk with me."

"Now?" he squeaks.

"Yes. You know how important it is that we talk..."

"No, I mean...that...that thing that you said...you want to do that now?"

"Well...it takes nine months...plus we would need to go through all the surrogacy process before that... From what I've read the shortest time it would take would be a year..... So I want to start the process now, yes." 

"You...but you..." Blaine starts, but trails off uselessly and shakes his head. 

"I have thought this through very carefully, Blaine," Kurt tells him as he shuffles closer on the bed and takes his hands in his. "I really believe that now is right for us. We're settled, happy in work and home life, we have really good incomes...both of us...and I also think that the way our careers are right now would work well for bringing up a baby between us. I don't think we would need much daycare. It would mean I couldn't come to as many of your performances of course, but I'm sure there will be plenty of willing babysitters who could help out."

"But you're twenty three," Blaine says softly, reaching out to cup Kurt's cheek. "You're still a baby yourself."

"I am not!" Kurt laughs. "I'm young, yes. But you're...."

"Not."

"No. You're not. Realistically we could be approaching twenty five and forty by the time we actually get to hold a child in our arms, and I think that would be pretty perfect. I'd like it to be sooner, of course...but we'll take what we can get."

"I can't believe we're discussing this," Blaine says, laughing nervously. "I've been waiting for this day for years."

"I know you have. And I know you've waited patiently until I was ready. And I am ready. Now. And more importantly, we're ready, as a couple. A year ago we were nearly done, but we fought back and I'm so glad we did, because everything that's happened since has been better than I could have ever imagined. I know that you would never ask me, Blaine, which is why I'm sitting here, telling you that I would like to have a child with you. I'd like to be a family of three." 

"Before..." he starts, but breaks off to laugh in disbelief again. "Before I explode in tears of joy," he says, trying to suppress his ear splitting grin, "Tell me; is it surrogacy you see for us?"

"Yes," he says, scrunching his nose as he thinks. "I'd like a child that is uniquely ours."

"That can't happen," Blaine says sadly. "I wish it could but...."

"It can though," Kurt counters. "Because whoever's....y'know...we use, the baby will still be equally both of ours. We will raise her together, she will have elements and traits of both our personalities in her."

"It's called sperm and you don't know it would be a girl!" Blaine laughs. 

"Whatever it is we're not calling it sperm," Kurt smiles, sticking out his tongue. 

"I'd want to use your...y'know....sperm," Blaine teases, his grip on Kurt's knees becoming tighter as he grows more excitable. 

"Oh, but curly hair," Kurt pouts, tugging on his dark locks. 

"Oh, but beautiful blue eyes," Blaine says, gazing happily at him. "I have a brother and a niece and nephew."

"You look nothing like any of them."

"No, I know. But I have them. You're an only child.... I don't know...I just think it would mean a lot to me- and your dad too of course- to see the Hummel legacy live on. At nearly forty I don't have a huge, overwhelming desire to have a child that is genetically mine. I do however, have a desperate longing to have a baby with blue eyes and chestnut hair, who I can look at and be reminded of the husband I love so very much. And Kurt...because I'm older, I win. So there's that." 

"Okay," Kurt smiles. "Okay. So....we're doing this?"

"We are," Blaine says, tackling Kurt back against the pillows and kissing him soundly. "We're having a baby." 

*

"So we thought we'd get you all together...." Kurt says to the assembled parents two weeks later as they sit on their couch, staring at them.

"That way you all get to know together," Blaine says, looking at Kurt and trying to hide his smile "We're going to try and have a baby."

The noise is quite simply deafening, the roars from Burt and Mike and the excitable screams from Carole and Sara as they clutch one another has Kurt covering his ears and laughing loudly. 

"We said try!" Blaine calls. "Right now there's nothing. We're just looking into things. But we thought we would tell you in case...well, in case we're maybe a bit stressed, or distracted...you'll understand why."

"I'm knitting, darlings!" Sara says, wiping at her eyes as she crosses the room to hug them both tight. "I'm going to start tomorrow. Oh! Oh! A baby! Kurt, what color should I knit?"

"Pink."

"Kurt!" Blaine reprimands. "Mom, if you really want to knit stuff now then do neutral colors. Yellow, white..."

"Okay," she smiles. "So...pink."

Kurt smiles smugly as Blaine thumps his forehead, opting to accept hugs from Burt and Carole instead of labouring his point. "If you want my hug you'll have to come here," Mike calls. "I don't trust myself to stand right now."

"Hey," Blaine says as he goes to him. "You okay?" 

"Yes, just a bit wobbly with emotion," he says with tears in his eyes. "Can I ask?" he lowers his voice and leans a little closer.

"Kurt's," Blaine says with a nod. "And it's no secret. We'll be using Kurt's sperm." 

"Blaine! Please don't use that word in front of my dad," Kurt moans. 

"Sperm?" Burt asks in surprise. "Well it's an important part of the equation."

"Sperm and eggs, darling," Sara says brightly as she heads to the kitchen. "Sperm and eggs." 

"Oh god. I knew we shouldn't have told them."

"It makes no difference whose sperm you use anyway," Carols says as she hugs Kurt close. "This baby will be one hundred per cent Hummel-Anderson, and no doubt the best dressed musical prodigy Chicago has ever seen."

"Please stop saying that word," Kurt moans. "It grosses me out, and now all of you know what I've got to go do...."

"Think of Jane Fonda," Mike says, then remembers his audience. "That might not be helpful. What about that stripper from your bachelor party? Not him," he says, gesturing to Blaine. "The other one."

"Be quiet now dad," Blaine says. "And you had left by then anyway. How did you even know about that?"

"We know everything," Burt says proudly. 

"I told them darling," Sara trills brightly as she comes in with a tray of coffee. "Carole and I hear everything from Rachel." 

"I might suggest a direct house swap with Cooper in LA," a horrified Kurt says to an equally as stricken Blaine, who nods.

"Uh-uh, strictly not allowed," Mike laughs. "I've cheated death twice on the promise of this baby, I'll be counting down the days until I can hold it in my arms." 

*

Wes cries at the news. Then becomes flustered when he offers to help in any way he can which makes Blaine laugh for hours. Rachel squeals and squeaks until Finn promises to sit on her, and Joe immediately begins making a list of annoying toys he can buy. Santana is the coolest of the lot, and carries on nonchalantly eating the lasagna Blaine has made while listening to them explain. 

"So what happens now?" she asks, leaning back in her chair and pushing her plate to one side. "One of you jerks in a pot then they turkey baste some poor woman with it?"

"Yep."

"Blaine!" Kurt reprimands. "It's not like that at all. We're using a gestational surrogate, so my....y'know...will be ...yeah...and then they....yeah."

"Sperm," Blaine explains to her, pouring more wine. "Kurt can't say the word for some reason. His sperm will be used to create embryos with donor eggs and they'll be implanted in a surrogate."

"Isn't there a higher risk of twins or something?"

"In these circumstances, yes," he explains, eyes narrowing when Santana laughs. "What's so funny?"

"Just trying to imagine you two with two babies. Ha! Yeah. I needed a good laugh. Thanks for that..... So all of this takes how long?"

"Well because Blaine is fabulously rich we can afford the best clinics, so we've done the uh....donating part," Kurt says with a blush. "And the eggs are ready to go, we just need to find a donor and we're all set to give it a try."

Santana swallows her mouthful of wine and sets her glass on the table. "I'll do it." 

"Haha," Blaine laughs. "Yeah right."

"I'm serious," she says, fixing her dark eyes on him. "I'll do it."

"Santana, sweetie," Kurt says, patting her hand kindly, "the surrogate is the one who carries the child. You're getting mixed up with the egg donor."

"I'm not getting anything mixed up, dumbass," she snaps. "I know exactly what the role of a surrogate is and I'm offering to be yours, no payment required. I'll do it." 

Realizing she isn't messing about, Blaine fumbles under the table, finding Kurt's trembling hand and holding it tight. "Oh my god you're serious," he says, stunned. "Kurt, she's not joking." 

"Why aren't you joking? Blaine? Why isn't she joking? Why would you want to do that for us?"

"Lots of reasons," she says calmly with a shrug. "But let me start by saying this. I've known this day would come since...well, since you two got together really. And I always knew I'd offer. Lacy and I had been dating three weeks when I told her of my intentions; she knows everything and supports me in my decision. I've been reading up on the subject since you guys got married, preparing myself, making sure I would be able to make an offer I was comfortable with and wouldn't want to back out of halfway through." Smiling, she looks down and plays with the stem of her wine glass, momentarily overcome while Blaine and Kurt wait patiently. "I don't want children of my own. But it seems a shame to let a womb as fabulous as this go to waste," she jokes lightly. "I need this to be clear. I'm only offering to be an oven, it's your cupcake. I know that I can do this, and I would relish the opportunity to have such a special bond with your baby. But I can't be the egg donor too. I think this way, I can be fabulous Aunt Santana and your kid will grow up to learn that I gave birth to it because you guys couldn't, and that's great- I would really hope I could be a part of their life. But I don't think I'd be able to do that with a child that's genetically mine fifty per cent. You guys are my family," she says quietly. "I can never thank you enough for all that you do for me, the way you just include me with your own families as if I was one of them, the way you're always there for me..... Well, actually, I love you two a whole lot more than I love my real family," she says sadly. "So the offer is there, if you want to take me up on it. I won't be offended if you say no, I guess really it's a straight up choice. If you choose me then you'll see every step of the pregnancy, you can come to all the appointments, watch me give birth...but ...I'd hope...you'd also see a lot of me afterwards. It depends if you think you can handle that or if you'd rather have a surrogate who will slip quietly out of your life immediately after." 

"Uh..." Blaine clears his throat. "Thank you. I don't really know what to say except I am in awe of such an incredible offer. Actually, I was mulling all this over the other day, and I was thinking about who our baby would have as a female role model. It will have Rachel and Kathy, obviously, and Claire too, now she's moving back. But you... You are the one I want most of all. I think you will make an amazing aunt, and whatever we decide, please know that we want you to have that role in our child's life, okay?"

Santana nods, eyes brimming with tears which for once she doesn't try and hide. "I know I'm not always a very nice person," she says quietly. "But I do love you."

"You are a nice person," Kurt says firmly, coming around to her side of the table and crouching in front of her. "You really are. We love you, our families love you and Lacy loves you." Hugging her close he looks over her shoulder at Blaine who gives a small, imperceptible nod. "And we would be honored if you'd be our surrogate." 

*

Three months later.

"You're like a fucking mother hen, Blaine," Santana snaps as she strides out of the hospital. "Just leave me alone."

"I can't help it," Blaine says as he hovers anxiously at her side. "I feel like I should carry you or something," he says, withering under her glare. "Or at least keep you flat."

"They're not going to fall out," she huffs, storming across the parking lot. "Or at least, I hope some will, at some point, cause I sure as shit ain't giving birth to six babies."

"Six!" Kurt says, blanching somewhat at the thought. "That's an awful lot."

After a lot of flapping and worrying from Blaine, eventually, at his insistence, Santana is put across the backseat with instructions to keep her legs elevated as he drives. "So when will we know?" 

"They can test me in four weeks," she tells him, bored now and waiting to go home to Lacy. "But that won't be definite."

"We'll be in Hawaii."

"Well of course," she snarks. "I'm telling you, once all this is done with I'm going on a vacation at your expense."

"Thought you didn't want payment?" Kurt snarks, turning around to poke his tongue out at her.

"Shut it, child bride"

"Keep calling me that and I'll call you teen mom."

"Kurt, darling, if Santana wants a vacation, she can have a vacation," Blaine smiles sweetly. "We might all be needing a break in nine months time."

"Good point," he concedes. 

"Hey, Blaine, come on. You have to remember what that doc said. There's a very slim chance of it happening the first time around, okay? I've not been on the drugs long and..."

"I know," he nods, cutting her off and not wanting to think about it. But he lies in Kurt's arms that night, excited butterflies dancing in his stomach as he allows his hopes to soar and his dreams to build until it's nearly three in the morning and he's trying to sleep but his mind is filling with images of babies in strollers, or being rocked in cribs. 

"Go to sleep," Kurt murmurs, making him jump. 

"Sorry. I am trying I just can't switch off."

"I know," he says, finding his lips with his eyes still closed and kissing him lightly. "But you can't lie awake like this every night for the next three weeks. Close your eyes and try and think of all the ways we can have sex in Hawaii. Like counting sheep but better." 

At Blaine's insistence, Santana has blood taken at the hospital the day before they fly to Hawaii. They pace the waiting area nervously, and are eventually called back inside. "Well, Mr. Hummel-Anderson.... I have to say, it's very early to be doing a pregnancy test," the doctor says, making Blaine feel like a naughty school boy. "But your husband tells me you won't be able to relax on vacation otherwise, which in turn might hinder your performance at the upcoming Schubert recital to which my wife and I have tickets. So!" he continues brightly as Blaine looks to Kurt who smiles benignly. "We can't have that."

"Look, baby making doctor," Santana interrupts. "Cut the crap, these guys are bugging the shit out of me, keep asking if I feel any different, am I eating okay, have I thrown up.... And the answer is no. So just put them out of their misery." 

"You may not feel any different right now, Ms. Lopez," the doctor says with a smile. "But you will soon. One embryo has successfully implanted into your womb. Congratulations, gentlemen. You're going to be daddies."


	43. Chapter 43

The entire flight to Hawaii is spent grinning inanely at one another, with Blaine then making a funny little ‘hmmm,’ noise of contentment, turning to look out of the window before turning back to gaze at Kurt once more.

“What?” Kurt smiles.

“What?”

“You know what.”

“So do you know what,” Blaine grins, leaning over to kiss his lips. “Baby.”

“Baby Hummel-Anderson,” Kurt says with a small laugh. 

“When do you want to tell everyone?”

“I think not yet,” Kurt says, scrunching his nose adorably. “I mean, Santana knows obviously, because it’s her body, and I expect she’s told Lacy but...other than that, I like the idea of it being our secret for a while longer, if that’s okay?”

“That’s completely okay,” Blaine says happily. “I feel the same. Plus the doctor did stress that it’s early days. I’d hate to announce it and then something goes wrong. Let’s wait a while.”

“Blaine?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you want to find out? Boy or girl?”

“Nope,” he says, then looks anxiously at Kurt. “I mean...if you...”

“No,” he shakes his head. “It’ll be a girl.”

“Kurt! Seriously, you have to quit with that, or else when it’s a boy you’re going to be sorely disappointed and I don’t want anything to ruin this for us.”

“I won’t be disappointed,” Kurt chuckles. “It’ll be a baby. A tiny little cutie baby with ten cute fingers and ten cute toes. With an adorable tummy made for tickling, a little button nose made to be kissed and...”

“Stop, you’re making me cry,” Blaine laughs, swiping at his eyes. “Let’s just...let’s just agree that whatever sex the baby is, it will be the cutest baby ever, in the whole history of babies.”

“With the hottest parents in the entire world,” Kurt adds. 

“Naturally.”

*

“It’s a...”

“Hut!” Blaine finishes for Kurt as they walk hand in hand along the walkway. “It’s still a hut.”

“I just love it here so much,” Kurt sighs contentedly. “Oh!” Stopping dead in his tracks, Kurt’s eyes go wide. 

Blaine follows his gaze but can only see palm trees and huts, and he looks back at Kurt who still seems frozen. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks anxiously. “Kurt?”

“Oh, Blaine! Oh...ooh...tears,” he says, fanning at his face. “Tears. Oh!”

“Will you just tell me what’s wrong?” Blaine cries, voice full of concern as he looks at Kurt. 

“The next time we come here...” Kurt starts slowly as a huge grin breaks out across his face. “It will be with our baby.”

Blaine stares transfixed for a moment, before letting out a small squeak of happiness. “A family vacation,” he says quietly. “Oh my goodness.”

“Blaine!” Kurt says, grasping at his hand. “Oh my god! One of us will have the bags, one of us...actually...me...will be holding the baby. Oh! We can take them to swim with dolphins!”

“We can,” Blaine grins, hugging Kurt tight as his tears flow freely. “Hey,” he whispers kissing into his hair. “You will be the best daddy there is, you know that?”

“Uh-uh,” he says with a shake of his head. “I want you to be daddy. I’ll be papa.”

“You...but I...”

“But you have waited for this much longer than I have, for a start,” he says, gently caressing the side of his face. “And I have a very romantic notion of watching you with a little girl who looks up to you and calls you daddy. You let me be the...sperm donor,” he says, wincing, “It’s only fair that you get this.” 

“Thank you,” Blaine whispers gratefully. “That means everything.”

“Weird to think this will be our last vacation as a couple for like...eighteen years,” Kurt says in awe. 

“It won’t be,” Blaine laughs. “I’m sure Rachel or Kathy would bite our arms off to look after a baby for a few days...and of course, staying with grandparents is almost obligatory, I believe. We can dump and run.”

“True. But still, we’d better make the most of this one,” Kurt says with a wicked grin. “Lots of drinking, lots of dancing, tons of sex...”

“That sounds good to me. Hey!” he yelps as Kurt scoops him into his arms and leaves the bags abandoned on the walkway. “What are you doing?”

“Making the most of you,” he laughs as they enter their room and close the door. 

* 

“I think we should change the car,” Blaine muses the next day as they lounge side by side on the beach. “Get one of those big four by four things. They’re safer. In fact, I think we should get two. I don’t like the thought of having to take the baby on public transport. All those germs...”

“Blaine,” Kurt sighs, rolling onto his front and lifting his sunglasses to look at him. “We’re on vacation. Please be quiet.”

“Sorry.” He turns over too, ducking his head apologetically. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to have all these discussions, because I do, I absolutely do...But Santana is only four weeks pregnant. We have thirty six more weeks at least to talk about all these details. I meant what I said, I just want to enjoy this time together.”

“You’re right.”

“And so are you,” Kurt says kindly. “About the car, I mean. But can we discuss it more when we return?”

“Of course.”

“And now can we go for a swim and then get cocktails?”

“Cocktails?” Blaine says in surprise. “It’s only just noon.”

“C’mon,” he wheedles, moving to Blaine’s sunlounger and squishing up next to him. “Live a little. In a couple of years you’ll be sitting here making sandcastles thinking ‘damn, I wish I could have cocktails for lunch.’”

“You win again,” Blaine sighs with a smile. “As always.” 

*

"I'm old," Blaine groans that afternoon. They lie on opposite ends of the couch in their room, the patio doors open and the warm breeze washing over them as the ocean rolls gently to the shore. They are still buzzing from the cocktails but it's a happy, relaxed kind of buzz- which has Blaine lying there with his eyes closed and arms folded behind his head. 

"You're not old," Kurt says, watching him, his left toe wriggling to tickle at the sensitive spot just above Blaine's left hip. 

"I'm nearly forty."

"You're three months away from turning thirty nine." 

"Old."

"Perfect." 

They fall silent for a while, the soft yet firm pressure of Kurt's hands massaging Blaine's feet being all the comfort and reassurance that Blaine needs. To Kurt he will never be old, but he will always be perfect.

"It's just over two years since we were last here," Kurt comments idly, stopping his massage. 

"Mmmm hmm."

"Remember all the sex we had?"

"I've only just recovered," Blaine says, eyes still shut but smiling as he speaks. "Mind you, I don't think we do too badly now..."

"No complaints from over here." Kurt pauses a moment and Blaine feels him shuffling about a little before he settles once more. "I remember on our cab ride home you said 'no stone unturned.'"

"Mmm."

"And I corrected you." 

"You did." 

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like surprises?"

"Depends what the surprise is, I guess," Blaine muses. "I liked the surprise of you proposing to me, yes. I didn't like the surprise of Cooper hiding a frog in my sock drawer when I was seven. I cried for days."

"Blaine?"

"Yes, Kurt?"

"Do you really not know where this is going?"

"Where what is going?"

"Open your eyes, Blaine." 

Slowly, sleepily, Blaine opens his eyes to find Kurt at the opposite end of the couch, naked and stroking his rigid, hard cock, blue eyes heavy with lust and focused solely on his astounded husband. 

"Mother of fucking god!" 

"Watch me," Kurt commands softly, and Blaine nods eagerly, mouth still slightly agape. 

"Can I....?"

"No," Kurt says, his voice cracking slightly as he gives a flick of his wrist around the head. "Just watch."

"I can do that," he breathes. "Jesus, Kurt. You're so hot. You get better and better as you get older. Fuck," he growls, shifting as he feels his cock hardening quickly and he becomes desperate to touch himself. 

"So do you though," Kurt says, allowing his foot to wander slowly along the inside of his thigh. "I know you don't see it, but god.... You do things to me, Blaine. The glasses, the flecks of gray in your hair, the way you work hard to keep your body so tight...so...ready...for me. You do all that for me, your one and only."

"Yes....yes..."

"How does that make you feel, Blaine?" Kurt asks, his voice low as he smears precome around his head. "To know that you're the only one who can ever touch me? Ever take me?"

"Good," comes the somewhat strangulated response. "So good!" 

"No one else will ever see me like this," Kurt says, lifting his hips to tease over his hole. "Only you."

"Only...fuck...Kurt, let me..."

"Watch me," he commands again. "Watch me come for you, Blaine. Just for you." 

"Yes, Kurt...finger yourself for me...go on..."

And Kurt obliges happily, sucking two fingers into his mouth before trailing them back to his entrance, still stretched from their morning activities, and pushes them inside, moaning loudly and throwing his head back.

"Does that feel good Kurt?" Blaine asks desperately, now sitting on his hands. "Tell me."

"So good," he acknowledges, slowly pulling his fingers nearly all the way out before pushing them back in. "So good...Blaine...not as good as you though."

"Not as good as my cock?" Blaine asks, getting a moan as a response as Kurt's other hand flies over himself. "Jesus...oh yes, Kurt....you look so hot...so hot.... Go on," he says, seeing that Kurt is close. "Let go." 

Kurt throws his head back and comes, thick white ropes which spill onto his stomach and run down his cock to the crease in his thighs. Blaine is there in an instant, burying his face into Kurt's groin as he laps at his come and moans happily. One hand rubs desperately at the bulge in his shorts, and when his tongue moves to clean over Kurt's stomach, he reaches inside and finishes himself off, coming hard yet silently, face smeared with sticky white and those big, amber eyes fixed on his husband who watches in blissed out awe. 

"Huuuuuhhh," Blaine groans, collapsing onto Kurt's chest. 

"Was that all you hoped it would be?" Kurt asks, playing fondly with his hair. 

"That was.... Oh my goodness. The hottest thing I have ever, ever seen. I always knew it would be. If my brain hadn't rushed south I would have had the sense to film that. Jeez." 

"You are not filming anything," Kurt says primly. "I'll just do it again some time, that's all." 

They laugh together then Kurt's arms tighten their hold. "Don't go anywhere yet," he murmurs. 

"No? Don't you want to clean up?"

"Not yet. Just let me hold you awhile. The biggest thing that's gonna change by having this baby is the amount of time we get for stuff like this... So no. No cleaning up just yet. Only cuddles." 

Romance becomes the theme for their vacation once again, with long, lazy days spent in one another's arms sharing sweet, intimate kisses. They take all the time they need to make love with one another- the result being that they return home exhausted but deliriously happy, and Blaine pulls his phone out the second they've landed to text Santana. 

How are you? How is the baby, and most importantly, is anyone hospitalized?

Your dad is fine, if that's what you're panicking about. As for me... My breasts hurt. Like really hurt. And I'm not even feeling any rage. Baby is fine as far as I know- it doesn't talk much.

Can I come see you tomorrow? Kurt and Anna are going to look at possible new premises as we're gonna be needing that second bedroom back :D

You can take me out for lunch. Noon. 

But when Blaine arrives the next day, he is met by a worried looking Lacy at the door. "She's throwing up," she says, panicked. "She's been at it since she woke up. I'm worried she's caught something."

Blaine rushes straight into the bedroom to find Santana glaring at him. "I hate you, and I hate your husband's sperm," she snaps. 

"She hasn't caught anything," Blaine explains patiently to Lacy. "She's got morning sickness, that's all. The book says it usually goes by the end of the first trimester."

"That's seven fucking weeks away!" Santana yells. "I haven't eaten all morning, I'm starved! Trust you two to have an awkward kid. Typical." 

"It's not the baby, it's your hormones," he says sweetly, taking her hand. "You know, the book says..."

"Fuck the book. Lacy has to go to work. You're taking me out to lunch."

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Blaine says warily. "Morning sickness can actually last all day. Maybe it'd be better if I made you some dry toast."

"Maybe it'd be better if you kept those balls that Kurt seems to value so much," she snarls. "Take me out for lunch." 

Clearly the nausea passes, for Santana manages an enormous lunch and brightens considerably with food inside her. They take the afternoon to walk through the park, stopping for coffee overlooking Lake Michigan. 

"Kurt wants to take you shopping for maternity clothes," Blaine says, sliding a coffee across to her. 

"He doesn't have to do that. I can buy some stuff."

"You can, but you won't. Let Kurt and I, please."

"Ugh. Well if Kurt's gonna get all... Kurt about it, I guess I'd better indulge him," she says with a small smile. "Did you get me decaf?"

"Of course."

"Good. So...when do you want to tell everyone?"

"Well I was wondering if you'd come back to Ohio with us for the twins birthday? That would put you at ten weeks, and according to the book...."

"Do you sleep with the book?"

"I sleep with Kurt."

"Is Kurt the book?" she teases. "Or did Kurt eat the book, and he recites passages to you during sex?"

"You're impossible," Blaine laughs in spite of himself. "Look, everyone knows we're trying to have a baby, but no one knows about our choice of surrogate. So will you come home with us so we can tell everyone, please?"

"Will Berry be there, so I can see the look on her face?"

"She's a Hudson now."

"Whatever. Will she be there?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm in." 

*

"I'm betting you fifty dollars that both our dads cry," Kurt says as Blaine drives them back to Ohio. 

"Nope, I'm not taking that, because you know they will," Blaine laughs. "Fifty bucks says Rachel screams."

"No way!"

"I have to pee," Santana calls from the back. 

"Again? We only stopped twenty minutes ago." Kurt sighs.

"I don't care, I have to pee." 

Blaine notices Kurt's huffing and reaches across for his hand. "It's okay," he says, squeezing gently. "It's common to go a lot during the first and last trimester. The book says..."

"Blaine Hummel-Anderson if you don't stop quoting that book I will ram it so far down your throat you'll never speak again!" Kurt cries exasperatedly and a strained silence falls until Santana speaks again. 

"Fifty bucks says Kurt 'accidentally' loses the book." 

"I'm sorry," Blaine says quietly, once they've pulled over and Santana is safely ensconced in the restrooms. "I'm just... I don't know. Over anxious, I guess." 

"Honey, I know," Kurt says kindly, reaching out to play with the curls at the back of his neck. "And I'm sorry for snapping. But please try to stop worrying. The baby is developing well, and Santana seems really healthy apart from mild morning sickness which she blows out of all proportion."

Blaine looks up at Kurt, eyes shining with tears. "What if I'm a really bad father though?" he whispers fearfully. "What if the baby arrives and I don't know how to hold it, or how to stop it crying? What if I can't bath it properly, or feed it the right way? What if it doesn't like me?" 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs, tugging him into his arms as best he can. "No amount of book reading will prepare you for the reality of actually having a baby in your arms. And we neither of us have any kind of experience in that area. But I do know this. Millions of people have done what we're about to do, and have managed to successfully raise a baby into a well adjusted adult. There's nothing to suggest we can't do the same. And we will figure it all out together, okay? And as for the baby not liking you... No one can resist those beautiful eyes, that charming smile and those dapper bow ties," he teases gently. "Blaine...just be you. Because you are loveable and you will love our child, and that will be enough." 

"I'm done," Santana announces, climbing back into the car. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No," Blaine says, looking at Kurt and smiling softly. "Kurt was just reminding me exactly why I married him. I love you," he says, leaning across and kissing him tenderly. 

Kurt sighs happily, letting his eyelids flutter closed as their lips linger together. "I love you too," he breathes and for once, Santana is silent. 

The announcement is received pretty much as expected. All parents cry, Finn and Cooper holler loudly, Rachel screams and Wes wipes frantically at his eyes. Sebastian is the biggest surprise, completely overcome, gushing about how happy he is and telling Blaine he cannot wait to meet the new addition. 

"So you found a good surrogate then?" Mike asks, still holding Blaine's hand tightly, too excited to let go. 

"We did," Blaine nods. "Or rather, the surrogate found us. Santana is carrying our baby." 

There is a clear moment of silence, where everyone looks to one another, but then Burt shrugs. "Right. Well. Makes sense I suppose. Santana, that's incredibly kind of you."

"Thank you Burt."

"Oh Santana, darling!" Sara gushes. "Are you comfortable enough in that chair? Michael, Blaine, move and let Santana have the couch to herself."

"No way!" Blaine laughs. "She's not gonna break."

"I liked you better with the book," she glares at him. 

Rachel stands. "Santana?" 

"Berry." Santana's whole face lights up, ready to embrace the fury, but Rachel smiles at her instead. 

"Thank you. There's no way I could have offered to do something as selfless as that...and I'm in awe of you. Thank you for giving Kurt and Blaine such a wonderful gift."

"That's it?" Santana asks, disappointed. "That's all you've got to say? I was expecting full on banshee. I'm kinda upset." 

"Okay, okay...well...let's just all be happy that everyone's so...happy," Wes interrupts as Finn wisely directs Rachel to the other side of the room. "So...due date?" 

"March fifth," Kurt says with a grin.

"A spring baby," Sara says as she kisses his cheek. "New beginnings." 

As time moves on, Santana proves to be the perfect surrogate. She attends every appointment with Kurt and Blaine, she keeps herself fit and healthy, and once the morning sickness subsides she becomes a whole lot happier. The three decide to attend counselling to help prepare them, with Santana receiving help to detach herself emotionally from the baby she is carrying and learning to be excited for Kurt and Blaine's arrival, and it gives them all a chance to air their thoughts, hopes, fears and misgivings in a safe environment. It helps enormously, with the result that by the time Christmas arrives, they are all three excited about the future. 

"I got you guys a gift," Santana announces on Christmas Eve. She is twenty nine weeks pregnant, with a firm, round bump that she is happy to emphasise in clingy maternity tops. To Kurt's eternal delight, she looks effortlessly chic while pregnant, and is frequently stopped in the street by people asking to touch her bump. She snaps at them of course, and takes great pleasure in the looks on people's faces when she tells them it isn't hers, but still, when silent, she looks wonderful. 

"I think you've already given us quite the gift," Blaine says, coming down the hall with a paintbrush in his hand. 

"You're decorating?"

"Yes. You're letting yourself into our apartment again?"

"Yes. Nursery?"

Blaine's face becomes one giant, goofy grin. "Yeah."

"Can I look?"

"Sure. It's not finished, but..." Leading her down the hall, he stops outside the door to the second bedroom and pushes it open to reveal Kurt, with cans of different coloured paint everywhere, diligently painting a mural on one wall. "That's Kurt's side," Blaine explains as Kurt waves. "I'm not allowed over there. I have to paint the other walls." 

"You've painted a giant rainbow," Santana tells Kurt as if he hadn't noticed. "Talk about gay pride."

"It's a fantasy woodland scene," he grumbles, and Santana notices all the little animals painted underneath the rainbow. Foxes, badgers, mice and bunnies sit alongside a unicorn and fairies seated on toadstools. 

"Huh. Kinda...beautiful," she says in surprise. "Like, really stunning."

"And look what I did," Blaine says proudly. "Listen." He goes to the wooden crib, for the moment standing in the center of the room, and winds the mobile. The sound of piano music fills the air- not the usual tinkling chimes but real piano music, a gentle, soothing lullaby.

"God. I could fall asleep to that," Santana sighs. "Not cause it's boring," she adds hurriedly. "Because it's so soothing. Where did you find that?"

"I made it," Blaine says proudly. That's me playing. I bought the mobile, dismantled it and changed the music over." 

"I love it," Santana grins. 

"Would you...I...I have it on cd...if you wanted you could take a copy and play it..."

"Yes please," she says quickly. "That works for me to get to sleep and your baby will be born knowing the tune already. Perfect. The room looks amazing, you guys. This is gonna be one lucky baby. Oh, but now my gift seems really lame." 

"Gift?" Kurt says, setting down his paintbrush. "What gift?"

"Well it's for the baby really," Santana explains, blushing slightly. "I uh...I know I'll see you guys all the time, but I wanted the baby to have something from me to...to...I don't know," she says, embarrassed. "To connect us, in some way? Am I making sense?"

"Perfect sense," Blaine says as he hugs her close. 

She hands the bag to him and he reaches inside to pull out the brightest, most orange teddy he has ever seen. "Wow!" Kurt says with a surprised laugh. "That's...that's...orange."

"I know," she smiles. "You two are all pastels, yellows, greens, whites...so I thought I'd add a splash of color. You like?"

"It's uh....it's certainly different," Blaine says politely as he sets the teddy in the crib. "It stands out."

"Your gift won't be forgotten, put it that way," Kurt says, coming over to kiss her cheek. "Is the baby awake?" 

"If I say yes that means I'm gonna have to sit with your heads in my lap for the next hour, so I'm going to lie and say no."

"Please?" Kurt begs, eyes wide.

"Go on then," she sighs. "But half an hour only. You've got all day tomorrow."

"We haven't," Blaine says as they all head into the living room. "My mom will monopolize you. Okay. Kurt? What shall we sing?"

"You are literally the only people in the entire world I would ever let do this," Santana huffs as she sits on the couch and pulls her top up to expose her stomach. "Here." Taking Kurt's hand, she places it on the top of the bump. "Say hello." 

"Hello baby," Kurt coos, his face lighting up as he snuggles down and dares to kiss Santana's skin. She raises no objection though- how can you when the baby kicks sharply at the sound of its papa's voice?

"I think it knows you," she smiles. 

"What about me?"

"Calm down, Blaine. You'll get a turn. Here, come the other side." She places his hand down low, pushing on it. "That's the head, there. You feel?"

"Yeah," he breathes, in awe as he always is. "Hello, little one. It's Christmas Eve," he says, forgetting completely about Santana's presence and reaching out to grip Kurt's hand. "And your papa and I are getting your bedroom ready so that tonight, Santa can come. Even though you're not here yet, he's gonna bring you some gifts ready for when you do arrive. And you know what? This Christmas will be perfect, because Christmases with your papa always are, but next Christmas will be the best ever, because you'll be sitting on my knee, tearing at brightly colored wrapping, and no doubt you'll be more interested in the box than the gift...but you'll be here. Our little one. And...oh look, I've made myself cry." 

"And me," Kurt says quietly through a cascade of tears. "Oh Blaine. I can't wait."

Santana is used to these visits by now. She usually sits in complete silence and lets them coo over her wriggling stomach until she can't stand the sweetness anymore and announces it's her home time. But today she finds her hands reaching out to play with Kurt and Blaine's hair as tears roll down her cheeks. "I'm so happy I can do this for you two," she says quietly. "You deserve it more than anyone I know."

Kurt kisses her stomach once more before resting his cheek there, happy to feel a tiny foot batting at his face. "You know you're tied to us for life, right? Cause we're gonna love you forever."

"Shut up," she smiles, wiping at her wet cheeks. "I'm hormonal enough as it is. Tell me I'm fat and ugly or something so I can kick you."

"You're not. You're a beautiful...storage unit," Kurt says, which makes them all laugh loudly. "Can we sing?"

"You usually do," she says, rolling her eyes. 

"Why don't you sing with us?" Blaine asks. "The baby hears your voice more than most anyway. Let's all sing some carols." 

"I'm in the fucking Walton's," she murmurs, but when Blaine starts to sing Silent Night, she soon joins in.


	44. Chapter 44

"I have knitted!" Sara cries happily on Christmas Day as she hands a large package to Blaine, thinks better of it and gives it to Kurt instead. He laughs and moves to sit on the floor with his husband and together they unwrap the parcel to find blankets, hats and cardigans in white, pale yellow, cream....and pink. Lots and lots of pink. 

"Mom!" 

"Get annoyed at me all you like, darling," she says to Blaine, holding her hands up. "But that baby will be a girl. I'm with Kurt on this."

"Kurt needs no encouragement," Blaine says. "He's been saying we're having a girl for the last five years!" 

"Blaine...are you being gender stereotypical here?" Kurt asks. "What's to say a boy can't wear pink? In fact," he says, tugging on his husband's pink bow tie, "I think it looks rather fetching."

"I..but...that's...it's... No! Boys can wear pink, of course they can. But babies all look the same. People will take one look at a baby wearing a pink cardigan and hat and assume it's a girl, they always do!" 

He follows his mom into the kitchen where she carries on preparing lunch ready for the imminent arrival of Burt and Carole. "Mom....don't get me wrong, I love the clothes, and thank you for spending so much time on them, but if we have a boy I'm not dressing him in pink cardigans." 

"Oh darling, don't worry about it," she says, kissing his cheek. "The baby will be a girl, and I know what you're going to name it, too."

"No you don't!" he laughs. "Because Kurt and I haven't even discussed names."

"You'll call her Elizabeth."

"How...."

"Because Kurt knows how to get his own way," she smiles. "Not that there will be any contention between you over it of course. No. You'll be happy. That's why he gets his own way all the time- because his way is your way. I like that about you two. It's not you giving into his demands, it's you two being made for each other. You'll always be safe with Kurt."

"What's safety got to do with anything?"

"Because as a parent, Blaine, you want two things for your child. Happiness and safety. Kurt provides you with both those things so I never have to worry. Bravo Kurt, I say!" 

"Oh mom," Blaine laughs. "I do love you." 

*

"Are we good?" Kurt asks later that night. As usual they have escaped the rowdiness of the party downstairs and retired to Blaine's childhood room to be alone. 

"Of course we are," Blaine laughs. "Why wouldn't we be?" 

"The baby clothes...."

"Are beautiful." 

"And I heard your mom talking about names..."

"Ah. Yes." Blaine starts to undress for bed, grateful for the distraction it brings as he feels Kurt's eyes on him. 

"We don't have to, you know," Kurt says after a while.

"We don't have to what?"

"Name the baby Elizabeth. I know I mentioned something on our wedding night but I wasn't entirely serious."

"Well it seemed as though it was something you'd thought about." 

"That's just it though," Kurt says, automatically picking up the clothes Blaine has discarded and folding them neatly. "I thought about it. Me. Not us. It was just an idea I had when I was like...I dunno...nine or something. And it stuck. But this is our baby, not mine. And if I'm brutally honest...nothing against my mom at all, but I'm not that sold on the name Elizabeth as a first name anyway."

"It's your middle name," Blaine points out as he stands there in his underpants.

"I know, and it's entirely fabulous because it's different and unique but as a girl's first name...."

"I hear you, but I do think it would be nice to acknowledge your mom somewhere in the name, in some way. What was her middle name?"

"Margaret."

"Oh." Blaine pauses, smiling at the look Kurt gives him. He thinks on it while he uses the bathroom and emerges with a toothbrush in his mouth. "'Ow bout Beff?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Beth," he calls after he spits. He comes back into his room, triumphant. "If it's a girl we could call her Beth. I like that." 

"Uh...no."

"Why?"

"Because we still see Quinn and Puck occasionally, and I don't want to rub their faces in it, that's why."

"Oh. Yeah. I'd forgotten that. Okay. Well...we'll think of something." 

"What about boys names?" Kurt asks, pulling his pajamas on. "Any ideas?"

"Hmm...I have a few, what about you?"

"Adam?" he asks nonchalantly, expertly dodging the cushion Blaine throws. "Okay... Being serious here, what's Wes' middle name?" 

"Winston."

"For real?" Kurt asks as he slides into bed alongside his husband. "They called him Wesley Winston?" 

"No," Blaine laughs. "It's James." 

"See if I was his parents, I would have..."

"Well you're not," Blaine points out. 

"No. But I do like James." 

Blaine opens his mouth to reply but they are interrupted by a knock on the door. "Are you naked?" his dad calls out. 

"No," Kurt laughs. "We're an old married couple now. We're sitting in bed wearing pajamas and talking. Come on in." 

"He's going to be inappropriate, you know that?" Blaine asks under his breath as Mike comes in and makes himself at home on the end of the bed. 

"I do like that stairlift," he comments as if to himself. "Makes life a lot easier. Well! Hello boys."

"Hello dad," Blaine sighs. "What do you want?" 

"Just wanted t-t-t..." He breaks off, shaking his head frustratedly as Blaine looks at Kurt with concern. "T-t-t... Did the....? Because...no...that's not it either."

"Dad? Are you okay? Your words..." But Kurt silences him with a brief touch to his arm, remembering what the therapist had said about not alarming him if a relapse occurs. 

"Mike? Did you just want to see if we were naked?" Kurt jokes. "We tend to wait until you're all asleep...for this very reason."

His joking works, and Mike laughs which relaxes him. "No! Oh...I r-r-remember...I just wanted to say sorry for mom earlier. She just gets a little over excited, that's all. I didn't want you to think badly of her, Kurt." 

"Oh I wouldn't," he reassures quickly. "We're all excited. It's fine, honestly."

"S-s-sometimes," he gets out, sighing heavily. "Sometimes she doesn't listen. I keep telling her you might have a boy. B....laine, remember when she told everyone Cooper was going to be a doctor?" 

"Yes," Blaine laughs, remembering. "Even though Cooper had applied to study acting. She was still convinced."

"Well I think she's right on this one," Kurt says, smiling at them both. "I really think we're having a girl."

"Well...it's fifty fifty I guess," Mike says. "But she will insist on buying pink. I'm not s...supposed to tell you this, but the guest room closet is full of little girls dresses, a doll, a pink teddy...."

"Oh god," Blaine moans. "Our son is gonna have a real complex."

"I love her so much," Mike says suddenly, which makes Blaine stop talking. "I know I'm not too well....but...but... I'm really excited for this baby, I just wanted you to know. And I'll be here, I will. I promise you." 

"We know that, dad," Blaine says, reaching across for his hand.

"Yes...yes," Mike says distractedly patting Blaine's hand back. "Well....goodnight, I guess. Goodnight for me, anyway, since I actually intend to sleep." Laughing loudly at his own joke, he stands, and leaning heavily on his walker, shuffles around to Kurt's side of the bed. "Goodnight son, sleep well," he says, stopping to kiss his forehead lightly. "And you," he says, reaching Blaine's side, "snuggle down now, lights out."

"'Night dad," Blaine says, flipping the lamp out so that just the light from the landing shines into the room. "Love you." 

"You too. Both of you." 

"So," Kurt says into the silence once the door is closed. "James Michael?"

"Yes please," Blaine whispers, and Kurt holds him while he cries. 

*

"Well he has had a mini-stroke," Sara Anderson sighs down the phone to Blaine on New Year's Eve. "Chances are it happened that evening he came into your room. You said he didn't seem to know what he was doing in there to start with, he was talking nonsense, and his speech faltered. It was only a mild one though," she continues with forced brightness. "And he's so much better now. Don't worry, darling. Just enjoy your party- it's the last one you'll be having for a while." 

"True," Blaine says morosely as he stares at all the bottles of champagne lined up ready for the evenings events. "Oh mom. I... No. You know what? Never mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was nothing. Honestly. Um...are you free tomorrow? I spoke with Burt earlier and he suggested he could drive everyone up for lunch?"

"Oh darling, you don't need to do that. You were here only a week ago."

"I know that, but I want to," he says, silently adding that he feels he may need to. "Maybe the baby will kick dad again. I know that made his entire holiday season."

"It was quite funny," Sara laughs. "He spilled his beer all over his festive shirt. We'd love to."

"It won't be too much for dad?"

"Not at all. I told you, he's much better."

It is all arranged by the time Kurt comes bustling through the door, snowflakes in his hair and cheeks red with cold. He is anxious to tell Blaine all about his days work, but he asks about Mike first, sensing that Blaine will need and want to talk, which he does, explaining to Kurt all about the impending visit. 

"Is that okay?" he asks anxiously. "I know we only have tomorrow together, but if I don't see him tomorrow I don't know when it will be. I'm in concert all next week, then I'm in Boston for a week..."

"Blaine, it's fine. Absolutely fine. Really."

"I'm worried if I don't make the effort then I might not..."

"He'll be here for the baby," Kurt tries to reassure, but his heart's not in it and Blaine can tell.

"I'm not entirely sure that he will. I wish Cooper would hurry up and move here. I'll feel happier knowing he's close by."

"Has he got a date yet?" 

"It's looking like mid February," Blaine sighs. "Anyway, I guess I better tell Maddie they're visiting tomorrow. She'll want to see her grandpa."

"Which reminds me," Kurt says, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little. "Don't go hard on her tonight if she has a few drinks, okay?"

"No! Not okay! She's only eighteen. And she'll end up going home with Joe or something."

"Okay. Blaine, listen to me. Maddie is a grown woman. Our niece, yes, but she is now an adult. I hate to break it to you, but I think her dorm room has barely been slept in since Joe got his apartment. As for the drinking, please recall the New Years we had when I was seventeen and we got hideously drunk at your house and had sex on the floor that left you unable to sit down for two days. Maddie is at least, more sensible than we were that night. She won't disgrace herself and trust me, Joe will take care of her."

"I hate life," he grumbles as he trudges toward the bedroom.

"No you don't," Kurt laughs, following him down the hall. "You love life, you love the people in it, you love the people that are soon to arrive in it, and you love the opportunities it brings. Now let's get ready for the party." 

Blaine doesn't really enter into the spirit if the party. To be fair, their New Years gatherings have become more subdued over the years anyway- more a group of friends gathered to share food and drink as they ring in the new year together rather than the raucous drunken noise it used to be. Even so, Blaine escapes to sit on the balcony a while, staring out at the night and wondering what the coming months will bring. 

"It's freezing out here," Sebastian says as he sits down next to him and drapes a blanket over his shoulders. "You want Kurt?"

"No," Blaine says lightly. "He's having fun. And that's fine," he adds quickly.

"It's gonna be an interesting year, isn't it?" Sebastian asks. 

"Yeah," Blaine says heavily. "And I don't think all of it is going to be good."

"They very rarely are," Sebastian says musingly. "I don't think many people can say they've had twelve perfect months. I know this year has been good for you and Kurt, but you've still had moments that haven't been great. No doubt you've bickered at some point, or had a bad day at work..."

"Point taken," Blaine concedes.

"Y'know Blaine... I wouldn't write your dad off just yet. He's a tough guy."

"I know. But he's...aging."

"We all are," Sebastian points out. "This coming year will see us both turn forty. When we were fifteen, did you ever envisage that happening? It seemed so far away, and yet now it's here, staring us in the face. You're married, about to be a father, I'm... Well, I'm still searching for that elusive thing called love, only now I tend to look for it in guys who are thirty five as opposed to twenty one," he chuckles. "Seriously Blaine, he's nearly eighty. You want my advice? Make the most of the time you do have with him. Stop worrying about what could possibly occur and just enjoy. He's a wonderful dad. You don't want to look back in a few years and realize you didn't enjoy the last few weeks, months or even years with him, because you were too busy worrying about when he would pass away." 

"You're right," Blaine says, smiling for the first time all evening. "God. You're right."

"I know," Sebastian says with a smug smile. "Now come back inside. I believe your niece said something about mulled wine."

"What?" Blaine calls after him in alarm. "No!" 

But the mulled wine is already heated, and Maddie forces a mug into Blaine's hands, ignoring the pointed look as she saunters across the room to cosy up with Joe. Blaine finds Kurt in the corner of the couch, looking sleepy as he watches Rachel and Finn staring in fascination at Santana's enormous stomach. 

"Hey, old man," Kurt says, reaching a hand out to pull him close. "Come sit with me." 

Blaine happily obliges, kicking off his shoes to tuck his legs under him as he rests his head on Kurt's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Up and down," he admits. "Ridiculously excited yet worried."

Blaine wraps an arm across Kurt's waist, his fingers burrowing under his shirt and vest to trail over the gentle curve of his back. "Be excited," he says quietly. "We have to focus on the good stuff, and the here and now...else we won't enjoy it."

"True. Hey, did you know this year will be the eighth year of us being an us?"

"Of course I knew that," Blaine smiles. "It's written in bold across the calendar."

"It will be our third wedding anniversary too," Kurt says into his hair. "I was thinking the three of us could take off somewhere for a weekend away. Our first family trip."

"Perfect," Blaine says, snuggling in tighter. "See? Now we're excited." 

"Well....that'll be later," Kurt says, making Blaine laugh at the chuckle that resonates through him. 

"Bed at five after midnight?"

"For sure." 

*

"Okay, someone has to take a picture of this!" Santana says, laughing loudly as four over excited grandparents-to-be hold their hands on her stomach, waiting for the inevitable kicks and squirms.

Blaine grabs his phone, as does Kurt and they both get photos before Carole squeals. "Oh! Here! Just here!" 

The next few minutes are silent with a very patient Santana standing still while six over eager adults all clamour to feel the baby's kicks, with Burt blushing when she takes his hand and places it down low. "Head," she explains, and he smiles weakly before pulling away. 

Following his mom into the kitchen, Blaine cannot stop grinning. "He's really good," he says excitedly.

"I told you darling," she smiles as she bustles about, making herself at home in his kitchen. "It was only a mild turn, that's all. I know how you worry but really, this baby is doing him the world of good. He was so excited to come here again today." 

He says nothing, only leans against the counter and cries with relief at seeing his dad looking so happy and well and his mom carries on putting her homemade pie in the oven before wiping down her hands and going to him. 

"Oh darling," she sighs, wrapping her arms around him. "Come here. You know, you may be Kurt's old man, but you'll always be my little boy." 

*

It is a happy and upbeat Blaine that returns home from work three days later. He has been in rehearsal all day and the orchestra are more than ready for their opening night tomorrow. Kurt has been in his new 'office' all day, working diligently with Anna on different designs ready for a touring production of Hairspray starting in a month. A text from him earlier told Blaine to go on home and take it easy, he was happy to go to the store on the way home and then cook dinner. So Blaine intends to do just that. He fumbles for his keys, cursing quietly under his breath when he hears the phone ringing, just managing to get the door kicked shut behind him before grabbing the phone from its stand. 

"Hello?"

"B...B...laine?" his dad sounds strange, voice slightly wavering as Blaine hears him clear his throat and immediately starts to panic. "Uh...is Kurt with you?"

"Hey dad, no," he says, trying to keep the panic from his voice and remain calm. "He's going to the store on his way home from work. Why? Did you need him?"

"No, no. It's uh...it's not that."

"Dad? Are you okay?" Blaine asks, feeling suddenly sick to the pit of his stomach.

"It's...Blaine...it's your mom."

Kurt bustles into the apartment, arms filled with bags as he kicks the door shut behind him and tosses his keys into the bowl on the hall table. "Hey!" he calls cheerily. "Sorry I'm late. The store was rammed." Going right on into the kitchen he dumps the bags on the counter, noting that the living room is in darkness and assuming Blaine is in the music room. "And I swear the woman in front of me had saved every coupon known to man," he says, voice raised now as it carries down the hall. "I...oh!" He stops as he sees Blaine sitting stock still on the couch, frozen and staring into the distance. 

"Blaine? Sweetie? Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He rushes into the living room and kneels between Blaine's legs, clutching his hands, as he senses immediately that something is horribly wrong. 

"Blaine?" But the only response is a slight trembling of Blaine's chin as he stares into the distance. "Blaine, honey? Please talk."

"My mom died," he whispers, eyes still fixed on the far wall. 

Kurt's jaw goes slack, his mouth working around nothing for a second as he struggles to breathe, his eyes wide and a trembling hand reaches up to his face in shock. "What?" he whispers fearfully, though he knows he hasn't misheard. 

"She...sh...she...she had a brain aneurysm and...and...sh..she...just collapsed and....She died instantly.... Kurt.....my momma died." 

The sobs which tear through his body are unlike anything Kurt has ever witnessed from Blaine before as he rushes to take him in his arms, trying but failing to keep his own tears from falling as he rocks Blaine back and forth. 

"Oh Blaine....Blaine, my darling I am so, so sorry. Sweetheart...."

"My momma," Blaine sobs as he clutches at Kurt's shirt desperately. "My momma is gone."

"I know sweetie, I know. Oh Blaine....I just don't even know what to say," he sniffs as he gives in and lets himself cry too. They sob together, clutching one another tightly as Blaine tries to comprehend the situation. 

"My dad," he hiccups into Kurt's arms. "What's gonna happen to my dad now? He was there, Kurt. She collapsed in the parking lot of the mall and he tried to help her but....oh god Kurt....she's gone...she's just....gone." 

"Does Cooper know?"

"Yes," Blaine sniffs. "Or he will now, anyway. Dad was gonna call him after me. I offered but.... Kurt? How is this real? How is this happening? She can't be gone. She just....she's my mom!" he shouts loudly, tearing at his hair. "She's my mom and she should be here, waiting to be a grandma again. She...she....won't know our baby," he cries. "She wanted to meet it so desperately."

"Yes, she did," Kurt chokes out through his river of tears. "And I know this will be of no consolation at all right now, but...at least she... I don't know, at least she died happy, I guess. She didn't suffer at all, she wasn't in pain and she didn't know what was coming. Oh Blaine." There doesn't seem any more that can be said, so Kurt settles for holding and soothing his husband as best he can, until eventually- after how long Kurt does not know- Blaine's tears subside to occasional hiccuping sobs. 

"Blaine? Do you mind if I call my dad? I just thought maybe he could help by checking on your dad, or calling some people. I don't know." 

"Yeah...yeah," Blaine says distractedly as he curls into the couch. "Um...could you ask him to call Wes and Santana?" 

"Sure." Kissing his forehead, Kurt goes to the kitchen, tossing the now long melted ice cream into the trash as he dials his dads number and waits. Imparting the news is hard, and hearing his dads voice crack as he speaks and listening as he relays the news to Carole causes Kurt to be overcome with a fresh bout of tears. Burt agrees to call Wes and Santana, then says he will drive to Mike to check on his welfare. 

"Oh shit," Kurt breathes, suddenly remembering. "Blaine's supposed to be in concert tomorrow."

"Give me the italian's number," Burt says. "I'll call and explain. He's only playing the violin, right? No piano in this one?"

"No."

"So they have other violinists. That conductor is a good guy and a good friend to both of you. He'll understand." 

"Do you think we should drive back tonight?" Kurt asks fearfully.

"Not tonight, no," Burt tells him. "There's not going to be much you can do, and it will be the early hours of the morning before you can get here. I'll stay with Mike tonight. Tomorrow. Come tomorrow and stay the weekend."

"Okay. I love you, dad."

"I love you too bud."

"I just wish....the baby, dad," Kurt says, breaking down once more. "She was so excited for the baby."

"I know," Burt sighs heavily. "Go to Blaine," Burt urges gently. "We can talk tomorrow and I can hug you good and proper, but right now your husband needs you."

"'Kay."

"And tell Blaine I love him."

"I will do." 

"Blaine? Sweetheart?" Kurt approaches with caution to where Blaine sits, now staring numbly into the distance once more. His face is swollen and raw, and Kurt can see that his eyes are stinging with the effort of keeping them open. "Dad's gonna stay with your dad tonight, okay? He's also going to call Riccardo."

"I don't think....I can't play."

"And that's fine. No one would expect you to," he says gently, sitting down next to him and rubbing small circles on his back. "You want something? I don't know...tea? Something stronger?"

"I think I just want to sleep."

"Okay. Come on." Blaine allows himself to be led to the bedroom, where Kurt helps him into pajamas and pulls the covers over them both. To his relief, Blaine falls asleep right away, though Kurt stares at the ceiling, wiping away a seemingly never ending stream of tears. He drifts off at some point however, but wakes when he rolls over to find Blaine's side of the bed empty. 

He finds him in the music room, head bowed onto the piano lid as he sobs silently, fingers tangled despairingly in his hair, face screwed up in anguish. Kurt sits wordlessly on the bench, pulling Blaine against him and kissing softly into his hair. "You don't have to hide," he says kindly. "I want to help you." 

"I don't want you to see me like this," he cries as he lifts his tear stained face. "I don't want you to see me broken. That's what I am, Kurt. I'm broken and I don't think I can ever be mended. Not without her, not without my mom."

"I am your husband," Kurt says strongly. "Forever. We're gonna go through all the rough and all the smooth together, and we'll have to help one another through this scenario with my parents, your dad...I don't know, maybe even Cooper and Claire. Others too, probably. It's unfortunate and it's painful but that's life. Don't hide how you're feeling, Blaine. We have to see each other broken, otherwise how can we put each other back together again? I love you, my darling. Don't ever feel that you have to shut your feelings away or put on a front to be with me. I love you and I love your family as if they were my own. I need you right now as much as you need me, because this hurts. It really, really hurts and I can't even figure out how to breathe without it being painful. But we can break and heal together, okay?"

Blaine looks up, taking Kurt's face in his hands as tears cascade down their cheeks and they kiss fiercely. Blaine pulls him closer and closer, his grip on Kurt's shoulders tightening until he breaks the kiss, breathless, to collapse against him and cry. 

"Come on," Kurt says, standing and offering his hand. "Back to bed. It doesn't matter if we don't sleep, we just need to hold each other." 

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine murmurs as he rests his head down on Kurt's chest. "I just wish it would stop hurting."

"I know," Kurt sighs, kissing his forehead.

"I want to wake up and it's all been some kind of nightmare, you know? You'll be sitting there smiling indulgently at me and I'll feel silly....but that's not going to happen, is it?"

"Not this time," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. "Not this time."

"So what do we do?"

"We love each other, Blaine. That's all we can do."


	45. Chapter 45

Sara Anderson is laid to rest on a cold and bright January day. The church is full of friends and family, and later on Blaine would be touched at how many of his and Kurt's friends had made the trip. He smiles weakly as he notices Jonathan and Teresa sitting in a pew alongside Kathy and an utterly distraught Wes. Riccardo and Ken arrive with their spouses, Riccardo having provided a string quartet and organist without even having to be asked. Santana reaches out to touch his fingers lightly as he walks past somberly, and he turns to look at her as if not quite sure who she is. Kurt is by his side throughout, of course, silent and steadfast, his safe haven once more. 

"My...my wife," a trembling and tearful Mike Anderson starts as he steps up to deliver his eulogy. "My wife was...the most wonderful wife I could have ever wished for. I remember, fifty four years ago, the pride I felt when I saw her walk down this very aisle to marry me. I remember it because it's the same pride I feel now, as I lay her to rest. Pride that she was- always will be- mine. Pride that she loved me, despite all my flaws and of course, pride that she gave me two wonderful sons, who in turn have gifted me with two, nearly three, grandchildren." 

Blaine doesn't even notice he's crying until Burt leans forward from the row behind and offers his handkerchief. He accepts gratefully, and wipes at his eyes before holding Kurt's hand once more. Cooper sits the other side of him, resting his hand on his knee just as he used to when they were young, and he reaches down to cover his hand with his own, looking into his brothers tear filled blue eyes as he offers a trembling smile. 

"I want to stand here and deliver this outstanding speech about how she tackled adversity head on, how she fought back from the brink on this occasion or the other....but the truth is, she didn't. She didn't because she always did it; quietly in the background, without any of us noticing. She always fought for us, as a couple and as a family. She stood by Cooper when he moved to LA without a dime to his name. She stood by Blaine when he came out to us, and when he met Kurt she was just happy to be blessed with another son. And people talked, you know," he says with a tearful laugh. "I know they did. But she held her head high because she knew, she had faith that Blaine and Kurt would end up together. And she had that faith because she taught Blaine to love, through the way she loved him herself. 

I don't think I've been the perfect husband, but she has been the perfect wife, mom and grandma. It breaks my heart to think she missed being a grandma again by just a few short weeks, but I know she'll be watching from somewhere, boys. She'll be watching and she'll be so, so proud. And of course I know that she would be so elated to have a new darling in her life," he chuckles. "This past week has been hell," he continues as the laughter dies away. "I've lain awake night after night, knowing that my sons, daughter and grand kids are across the hall doing exactly the same. I've wondered how I'm supposed to go on. Where am I supposed to look without seeing her? How do I wake up and not expect to see her waiting at the breakfast table with my paper and coffee? How am I supposed to go to the grocery store, the bank, the diner down the road? How? 

By remembering, that's how. Sara wouldn't want us to avoid talking about her, or to shy away from our memories of her. She would want us to carry on, be happy and speak of her with love and affection just as we always did. She was a character, of that there is no doubt. We all have a favorite memory, and I'd encourage you all to share those with one another." Pausing, he wipes at his eyes a moment. "I don't think I really have anything left to add," he says quietly, blowing a gentle kiss at the closed coffin. "Just.... Sleep tight my darling, until we meet again." 

*

Wes locates Kurt in the dining room, making polite small talk with a distant relative of Sara's that he's pretty sure he's never met. He smiles gratefully when he notices Wes hovering, excusing himself to the woman and arriving at his side. 

"You okay?" Wes asks, putting an arm around his shoulder. 

"Yes," he sighs, then rolls his eyes. "Well...actually...no. I feel like I need to be talking to all these people because Mike's overwhelmed, Blaine's incapable and Cooper and Claire need to be taking care of Taylor and Maddie. But all I really want to do is sneak off with Blaine and kiss him until he feels better." 

"When was the last time you two were alone?"

"Well," Kurt shrugs. "We're alone every night of course, but the truth is we're so tired and dragged down by another day of relatives or friends calling by to offer condolences, or phone calls and letters arriving that we just go right to sleep. And then I wake up at three am to find Blaine sitting in the bathroom crying," he says with a shake of his head. "So I drag him back to bed and hold him until dawn when the whole cycle starts over again." 

"Oh Kurt," Wes shakes his head. "Are you going back to Chicago tomorrow?"

"Day after. Cooper and Claire leave tomorrow, and Joe is driving Taylor back, and Maddie obviously. It didn't seem fair for us all to disappear on the same day. I think I might try and drag Mike out to dinner. It will do everyone good." 

"I take it Blaine isn't going to Boston with the Symphony?"

"No. But I have to get back to work. Anna's been great, as I knew she would be, but there's only so much we can do with me here. Blaine has a piano recital in two weeks, which I think will be good for him. He can practice from home if he wants, but I'm hoping he'll go in to work with Riccardo. He needs to get back to it now."

From their position they can see into the living room and they watch together as Santana sets a drink down on the coffee table in front of Blaine. With great difficulty she bends and kisses his cheek, but getting no response she sighs and walks over to Rachel instead. "Has he spoken with her?" Wes asks. 

"No. And she's getting upset, I know she is. The thing is, I don't know if he's not speaking with her because of the baby, or because he just doesn't want to speak with anyone." 

"Go," Wes says, squeezing him tight. "Let me deal with the insufferable yet well meaning relatives. Take Santana and Blaine upstairs and let that baby kick some sense into him." 

Blaine puts up no objection and allows himself to be led upstairs, and Santana follows willingly. She settles in the desk chair while Blaine sits on the edge of the bed and stares at the floor, prompting Kurt to crouch in front of him. "Blaine, honey? I'm sorry if I'm talking to you like a child here, but I'm worried about you. I know today is tough, and I really feel that too. But I'd like you to remember that not only is Santana carrying our baby for us, she is also your close friend who has driven here, at nearly eight months pregnant, to support you. I don't know if you're avoiding her because of the baby, or because she's...well...Santana, but..."

"Hey!" she objects.

"Hang on. But my experience tells me that though she doesn't like to admit it, she has a heart and she has feelings, which right now you're trampling all over." 

"I am?" Blaine asks, looking horrified as Santana stares at the floor and nods. 

"I'm kinda...ugh," she says swiping angrily at her tears. "I'm kinda fat, and hormonal but yeah.... I guess I'm just trying to look after you and I feel like you won't let me, or you just want to block me out. I understand if you don't want to be reminded of the baby right now but I can't exactly hide it away. And I miss her too, you know. I miss her so much."

"I'm so sorry," he gasps, flying across the room to kneel at her side. "Really, I'm not ignoring you. Or the baby," he says, reaching out to rub over her stomach. "I'm not. I'm just... I don't know. Trying to process everything I guess. I do love you, and I am grateful you're here, really, I am." 

"Thank you," she says softly, reaching down to stroke his cheek. "You look like a little puppy dog sitting down there," she smiles. "A cute little puppy."

"Your hormones are making you crazy," he smiles, but he nuzzles into her stomach and makes her laugh. "I want...can I talk to the baby?"

"You usually do."

"I know but...I want to say some stuff. Private stuff."

"Do you want me to leave?" Kurt asks from over his shoulder, but Blaine is quick to turn and grab his hand. 

"No! Oh Kurt, no. I want you to stay, please."

"Well I can't exactly disappear," Santana says, feeling suddenly awkward. "But I can promise you that I won't laugh at you, or repeat anything you say." 

"Okay," he nods, feeling reassured. "Um...hello, my little one," he starts, rubbing both his hands over the bump. "I know you can hear me, even if you don't kick back. I guess it's getting kinda cramped in there. I just...want you to know, that although I'm terribly sad right now, I really cannot wait until you're here. I can't wait to hold you, to kiss you, to rock you to sleep as I sing you a lullaby- and I promise to never complain, not even when you're crying at four in the morning and I don't know what to do.   
It breaks my heart that you won't get to meet your grandma, but I'm gonna make sure you grow up to know just how much she loved you, even before you arrived. We'll be okay, you know," he says, reaching to pull Kurt close to his side. "The three of us. I know- and your papa will know because he knows me so well- that there will be times when something will happen that will remind me of her, and I'll cry. But I won't be sad for long. How can I stay sad when I have the best husband and child anyone could wish for? Because I know, without even having met you, that's what you'll be. Our little darling." The gentle kiss he drops on the bump is rewarded with a sharp kick that has Santana wincing uncomfortably and Blaine and Kurt smiling once more through their tears. 

"Our little darling," Kurt echoes, kissing Blaine's shoulder gently. 

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine says, turning to take him in his arms properly. 

"I love you too," he whispers, a brief smile lighting up his face before he closes the gap between them and kisses him tenderly. It doesn't take much for Blaine's walls to come crashing down, just the slow, steady and much missed movement of Kurt's lips against his own has him running his fingers into his soft hair and breathing in sharply through his nose as he opens his mouth wider. Neither notice when Santana hauls herself from the chair and slips out of the room, closing the door behind her and wondering how one kiss can become too intimate to watch. 

They stay kneeling on the floor, kissing one another deeply, desperately until Blaine's hands find Kurt's tie and pull it off quickly before working his shirt open. "Hold on," Kurt gasps, breaking away to look into Blaine's eyes. "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Kurt, this is all I want," Blaine tells him sincerely, and it's enough. 

Taking his hand, Kurt tugs Blaine toward the bed, removing his clothes and handling him carefully, as if he might break. Once they're both down to briefs, Kurt kisses him once more, sliding his tongue into the warm heat of Blaine's mouth and feeling him whimper softly around him. "I don't think we have any..."

"Zip pocket inside my suitcase lid," Blaine says, smiling shyly when Kurt raises a questioning eyebrow. "I don't know what I was thinking when I packed that."

"Well we won't wonder, we'll just appreciate," he smiles, fumbling around until his hand closes around the small bottle of lube which he tosses onto the pillow. "Now come here and make me a happy boy." 

Blaine lies down on the bed next to him, happily smoothing a hand across Kurt's stomach to curl around his waist on the other side, drawing him closer for more kisses. "I don't want us to lose sight of each other again," he says, voice hoarse with emotion as Kurt kisses gently down his neck. 

"Oh, hey. That's not going to happen, okay?" he says firmly, looking into Blaine's eyes until he gets a small nod. "We had a really rough patch I know, but that was nearly two years ago. And if our marriage allows us anything, it's an eternity of getting to know one another. We know each other better now than we did then and that will continue. We know how to get through this and we will, I promise." 

"Yes," Blaine says, catching hold of Kurt's optimism and allowing it to light up his face. "We will." And he tackles his husband back onto the bed, burrowing into the crook of his neck to kiss over all his ticklish spots and make him squirm. 

The kisses turn more heated, filled with want and desire as Blaine moves lower, pulling Kurt's briefs down with his teeth and a gleam in his eye before swallowing him down. Kurt cries out as he hardens into the soft warmth of Blaine's mouth, and he throws a hand over his eyes, allowing his senses to be taken over by the feel of his husbands mouth around him. "Spin around," he groans, tapping the top of Blaine's head. "Let me touch you." 

He runs his hands almost reverently over Blaine's ass as he backs toward his face, leaning up to nip lightly at one of the cheeks before spreading him wide and licking across his entrance. He feels rather than hears Blaine's reaction- that tell tale stutter of his mouth followed by cool air around his cock as Blaine opens his mouth to gasp- and he smiles against Blaine's skin before diving back in for more. With practised ease he soon has his husband spread open, writhing desperately on three fingers and clutching at the sheets. 

Blaine pulls away and lies down on his back, spreading his legs wide for Kurt to fall between them. "The first time I ever entered you was like this," Kurt smiles as he kneels and pulls Blaine's legs up around his waist. 

"Oh god I know," Blaine sighs happily, letting the memory wash over him for a moment. "Don't think that I'll ever forget it." 

"And it still feels so good," Kurt rushes out as he enters him. "Blaine...." Leaning down, he rests his torso as close against him as he can before slowly working his hips back and forth. "Oh god, I love you so much." 

They fall silent then, Kurt resting his head into the crook of Blaine's neck and kissing there as Blaine's arms come up under his to dig softly into his skin, gripping him tightly, keeping him close. The sounds of people gradually leaving the wake downstairs can be heard, but neither notice; too absorbed in each other and being together to care. After a while Kurt reaches for Blaine's cock and starts to stroke in time with his thrusts, his erratic breathing pattern, harsh and rough in Blaine's ear telling him that he's close. With an arch of his back Blaine comes first, spurting onto Kurt's hand who does his best to see him through it before coming himself, a soft drawn out moan falling from his lips before he settles back into Blaine's embrace once more, kissing him lazily and looking at him through hooded lids. "You okay?"

"I am," Blaine confirms. "I really needed you to complete me once more.....I mean..." he says, becoming flustered under the close scrutiny of Kurt's gaze. "You complete me anyway, I just mean..."

"You mean that for you and I, reconnecting always comes on a physical level as well as emotional and that's fine," Kurt smiles, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. "I understand you Blaine. If we didn't understand one another I doubt we'd have gotten this far." 

"We have come pretty far, haven't we?" Blaine asks, looking up at him and kissing the tip of his nose.

"We have. And still a lot further to go, old man." 

*

Kurt drags Blaine out for breakfast the next day, giving Mike time to say his goodbyes to Cooper and family, and Blaine a much needed change of scenery. He grumbles and grouses at first, mainly at not being able to drive Cooper to the airport. 

"He's moving in three weeks," Kurt says exasperatedly as he pulls into the diner parking lot. "You'll be able to see him all the time then. Give him some time with your dad and come eat with me."

"I'd rather eat you," he tries as they step from the car. Kurt stops still, not quite sure how to respond to the joke, so he just raises an eyebrow and carries on. "Hey," Blaine says, offering his hand. "Here."

"Oh." Kurt's cheeks flush pink as he takes his husbands hand. "We don't usually...when we're in Ohio."

"I don't care," Blaine shrugs. "I don't want us to be one of those old married couples who never holds hands," he says, swinging their arms as they walk. "Though a stroller is going to be in the way for a while."

"Then I'll just have to do this then," Kurt says, linking his arm through Blaine's and resting his head on his shoulder- making them both beam with pride.

They order quickly, knowing the menu far too well already, and sit nursing large mugs of coffee while they wait for their food to arrive. "Remember the first time we came here?" Blaine asks, pressing his lips together in a self satisfied smirk. 

"I do," Kurt says, trying to suppress his smile. "Remember why we came here?"

"I do," Blaine confirms, and he can't help but laugh. "My god," he says, leaning across the booth and looking directly into Kurt's eyes. "I thought I was going to end up raping you or something."

Kurt laughs loudly, completely shocked. "Blaine! I can't believe you just said that!"

"Okay, okay," he concedes. "I'd never have done...that. But I remember your dad had given me this speech about not letting myself get carried away and then all of a sudden there you were....spread out underneath me, and all I wanted to do was....take." 

Kurt blushes pink, secretly thrilled at his words. "But you didn't," he points out. 

"No," Blaine shakes his head and takes another mouthful of his coffee. "I didn't. It wasn't mine to take. You were too young, not ready, and it would never have been fair. So I took you here for breakfast instead," he finishes brightly, making them both laugh. 

"You know, I've never really asked before," Kurt says, leaning closer and talking quietly. "But given all I know now...like...how crazy bad I want you sometimes, when there's that craving that only you can satisfy.... How did you manage to resist for all that time?" 

"It wasn't so long," Blaine muses. "When I think back, of course. At the time it felt like eternity. I don't know...I guess we weren't given any opportunities to get in that situation again. And I'm glad really. Because stuff would have happened. I'm only human, plus I'm completely powerless to resist you," he smiles. "But all that time we dated...like a couple of high schoolers- which one of us was, of course- well it gave me a chance to fall in love with you. Not your body, or that thing you do with your tongue- though I do love both those things of course...but you. I got to know you and I fell so deeply in love with you that the night you stayed with me- when I told you I loved you- I remember having to try so, so hard not to finish myself off the second you took your shirt off." Looking down at the table he smiles, embarrassed, and reaches for Kurt's hand. "I know we never got further than grinding that night, but it was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. Every detail of that night will stay with me, because we were so in love, so desperate to give pleasure to each other....yeah," he says softly. "It blows me away just thinking about it." 

"Okay! Eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage and toast?" 

The sudden arrival of the waitress breaks the moment and they pull apart, eyes still locked on one another. "Uh...yeah," Kurt says quietly, smiling his thanks as she sets the plate down. 

"Pancakes, bacon, maple syrup and a side order of toast and hash browns?"

"Yes," Blaine says, then looks at Kurt. "I'm hungry," he explains. 

"You don't say." 

They eat awhile and Kurt studies Blaine, the way he eats hungrily, stopping to smile up at Kurt with his mouth full of food. "Wha'?"

"You look like you're enjoying that," Kurt comments sweetly. "You look happy."

"I am."

"Good."

"Yeah," Blaine stops, resting his knife and fork on the plate as he sits back and contemplates. "I can't pretend that I'm over any of this," he says. "Far from it. And I apologize in advance if there are days when it seems all I do is cry. But it feels good to be laughing again, enjoying life...being with you...all of that. Dad was right yesterday. Mom wouldn't want me to be sitting here, ignoring you as I pick miserably at a bit of toast."

"No," Kurt smiles. "But she would want you to take your elbows off the table," he points out. "So please do so." 

They both laugh, and Kurt reaches across to grab his hand before he can rest it in his lap. "How do you feel about going home tomorrow?"

"Good, actually," Blaine says with a nod. "I have an insane amount of piano practise to do," he chuckles. "So I'll be busy. And Sebastian's offered to help dad go through all mom's stuff, which is good, because there's no way I could, and I don't think it would be fair to Kathy and Wes."

"Do you think he'll sell?"

"I think he's gonna have to," Blaine says with a sad smile. "And it's probably best. What use is he gonna have for a seven bedroom house now? He's not going to be entertaining. There's a new retirement complex being built about five minutes from my place. Wes is going to look into it." 

"Hmm, I miss your house," Kurt says fondly. "Good times."

"Yeah," Blaine sighs. "I keep thinking I should sell but..."

"There's no need right now," Kurt says gently. "I think we have enough going on." 

"Starting with the imminent arrival of our baby," Blaine grins. "Aw man," his grin becomes ear splitting as he clutches Kurt's hand tightly. "Just saying the words causes butterflies." 

"We're gonna be the most hysterically over excited parents ever," Kurt laughs. "Poor kid." 

"Poor kid indeed, it's to be pitied, I'm sure." 

"But then again, we are fabulously rich," Kurt offers with a poker face. 

"And ridiculously good looking." Blaine says, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

"The baby will have custom made, one of a kind outfits."

"And will be serenaded with a vast range of music, from classical to contemporary- all played on an array of instruments." 

"So really...." Kurt says. "This baby should be thanking us."

"We've done it a favor." 

"We have," Kurt grins, giving in and laughing along with his husband. "What a lucky baby it will be."


	46. Chapter 46

The first time the phone rings at three in the morning, Blaine charges through the apartment looking for it, cursing Santana for not calling his cell as previously arranged. He finds it on the kitchen counter, skidding to a halt on the floor which Kurt had waxed diligently that very afternoon. He slams into the counter hard, shouting loudly at the pain in his hip before he answers the phone. 

"I'm on my way! It's early! Oh god, it's early. Are you okay? I'm coming right now."

"Blaine? How do I work the DVR?" his dad asks, completely oblivious to his panic. "Your mom always did it. I've been trying to figure it out but I just don't seem to be able to....hold on...let me just...no, no, that's not it either."

"Dad? Are you shitting me right now?" Blaine asks sternly down the phone. "It's three in the morning. Why couldn't you have asked me this when we spoke after dinner?"

"I didn't have the problem then, and please don't curse."

"Why do you have the problem now?" he cries, laughing in disbelief. 

"Because I got up to pee and I remembered I hadn't set the DVR to record extreme fishing, and Kathy is taking me to see Cooper's new place tomorrow so I didn't think I'd have time to do it before I left.... Did I wake you?"

"Yes!" Blaine laughs, shaking his head at a dishevelled Kurt who has appeared in the kitchen. "I thought Santana had gone into labor."

"Oh. Sorry about that."

"Go back to sleep dad. I'll record extreme fishing for you and you can watch it when you visit with Cooper on the weekend." 

The second time the phone rings- Kurt's cell this time- it is two thirty am, one week before the baby's due date. Kurt promptly rolls out of bed and onto the floor, then managing to hit his head on the nightstand in his effort to locate his cell. 

"Yes?" he cries as Blaine charges around, pulling on pants and trying to locate car keys. 

"Uncle Kurt!" comes the unmistakable voice of a very drunken Joe. "Your niecey nephew and I were jus wondering if you're a papa yet?"

"Joseph," Kurt's voice is cold and unyielding, even to Joe's hysterical giggles. "Fuck off." 

The third call is not received well. One week later, the exact day the baby is due, a phone rings at three fifteen am. It is not answered immediately, but when it is, it is with a very heavy and frustrated sigh. 

"What?"

"Have you had it yet?"

"Yes, Blaine," Santana says wearily. "I had it a week ago and I've been storing it here until I felt ready to tell you. What the hell do you think? Seriously, do you know how hard it is for me to sleep right now?"

"I know," he says earnestly. "I can't sleep either."

"I was asleep, you moron!" she yells, waking Lacy who becomes thoroughly confused. "I was perfectly, soundly asleep- finally- and then you decide to force your insomnia and paranoia onto me. Believe me, I will know when it happens, and so will you. I'm pretty damn sure I'll be unable to sleep through the whole thing. Now please, let me try and go back to sleep!" 

"I don't think Santana likes me," Blaine moans as he climbs back into bed. 

"I'm pretty sure I'd go off you too if you called me on an almost hourly basis to find out if I'd gone into labor. And I can well imagine she didn't take kindly to it in the middle of the night," Kurt mutters as he cuddles close to Blaine. "Come on. Try and sleep a little more. Otherwise this baby will arrive and you won't have the energy for it. Only twenty percent arrive on their due dates. We could have nearly two more weeks ahead of us." 

It turns out they have two hours. 

The cell rings and Blaine seizes it quickly. "Yes?"

"Yes," Santana gets out through gritted teeth. "You pissed me off that much I went into labor. Though it could still be a long time."

"Even so," Blaine says, nodding at Kurt who is already halfway to the bathroom. "You're sure?"

"As sure as I can be. I had a show in the toilet."

"A show? What kind of show? Like a musical?"

"A show, show," she snaps at him. "Blood, mucus, show."

"Ew," he grimaces. "Do you have to?"

"Yes I fucking do!" she snarls. "I thought you digested every book known to man."

"I skipped the labor parts," he admits. 

"Well my friend, you're in for an education." 

*

"Now just remember," Kurt says as Blaine drives like a maniac toward Santana's apartment. "Santana can be difficult at the best of times. She's likely to be even worse in labor."

"I know," Blaine says as he jumps a red light. 

"And I'd like to get there alive, please!" Kurt yells at him. "Jesus Christ!" 

"Sorry. Sorry."

"A four by four doesn't make you invincible."

"No, okay. Sorry," Blaine says, skidding two wheels up on the curb and cutting the engine. "Shit, Kurt. This is it," he says, looking at him with wide, excited eyes. "We're gonna meet our baby." 

Kurt leans across and kisses him, a kiss filled with promise, excitement and love as Blaine's hand finds the back of his neck and pulls him closer. 

"I might have known," Santana sighs as she pulls open the car door, throwing her bag onto the back seat before climbing in. "You two are incorrigible," she says with a smile. "Okay, let's go."

The trip to the hospital sees Santana surprisingly cheerful and upbeat, and apart from two contractions which leave her cursing and gripping the door handle, she is perfectly fine. "I'm telling you," she says once Blaine is parked and they're heading into the building. "This is gonna be a long day. Please don't get over excited. And Blaine, will you quit rubbing my back?"

"Sorry." 

The receptionist takes their details, calling for their obstetrician who arrives quickly, smiling at them all. "Here we go then," he says, shaking everyone's hands. "How are you feeling, Ms. Lopez?"

"Actually, good," she answers, smiling. "Excited for these guys, a little apprehensive maybe but the contractions so far have been bearable. I think that....ooooh," she breathes, doubling over and clutching the desk for support as Blaine rushes to resume rubbing circles on her back. "Woah, woah," she pants. "That one really hurt. Jeez, Blaine! Leave me alone. Could you please look away while I kill one of the fathers?" she asks the doctor who chuckles and beckons for them to follow him. 

"Come on. Let's get you settled in and then we'll examine you." 

*

"Four centimeters," the obstetrician remarks, removing his gloves as a pale looking Kurt and Blaine huddle together in the corner. "The three of you are in for a long wait. Go get some coffee, take a walk, whatever. This baby will take its time." 

"That is the grossest thing I've ever seen," Kurt whispers to his husband once the doctor has left.

"I think it's gonna get worse," Blaine whispers back. 

Santana seems unbothered though, settling back on the bed and pulling a book from her bag, telling them to go and eat something. They walk through the corridors toward the canteen, holding hands and sharing excited smiles. "Should we call our dads?" Blaine asks.

"I don't know," Kurt says. "I'm not sure..."

"I like the idea of it just being us who knows," Blaine says, "for a while, at least. I mean, obviously I want to tell everyone when the baby is here but..."

"But if we say she's in labor they'll all be getting in their cars to drive here and..."

"And I think a moment of selfishness is allowed," Blaine says, stopping to wrap his arms around Kurt's waist. 

"But I do need to let Anna know," Kurt says, "she'll worry when I don't turn up to work."

"Same. I should call Riccardo. But they can keep secrets." 

By the time they have eaten, and made the necessary phone calls, Santana is bored, completely uncomfortable and very, very snappy. "Help me get the fuck off this bed," she snarls at them the second they're back in the room. 

"Why? Why do you need to get off the bed? What's wrong? Is it coming?" Blaine rushes out as he crowds around her. 

"I need to fucking pee!" she yells. "That's all. Just help me get up." 

He helps her carefully from the bed and escorts her to the bathroom, waiting outside- much to her annoyance- to usher her back to the bed. "Oooh, shit," she gasps, just as she's climbing back onto the bed, and a sudden gush of water has Blaine screaming and Kurt pulling the emergency cord.

"My shoes! My shoes! Jesus Christ, woman!"

"I can't help it!" she yells back at Blaine as a nurse appears. "You want this baby, it has to get out somehow!"

"Okay, okay, no need to worry," the nurse soothes as she helps Santana back into bed. "We'll get this cleaned up. Guys, time to scrub up, it looks like we're in business," she says, peeking between Santana's legs under the covers. "Ten centimeters. Ready to go." 

Within ten minutes Santana is huffing and puffing her way through untold agony as her body forces her to push over and over again. Kurt and Blaine are either side, gripping her hands tightly and calling out words of encouragement as she grits her teeth and bears down, a strangled scream coming of her mouth out before she pants and falls back against the bed for a brief respite. 

"Okay Santana, you're doing really well," the doctor encourages. "Gentlemen, decide which end you wish to be. You'll be able to see the head any second." 

"Oh!" Kurt says in surprise, looking between Blaine and Santana. "We uh..."

"You can look," Santana says with half a yell. "It's not like you're....fuuuuuuuck....ever gonna see it happen again. Not from my parts, anyway." 

So Kurt looks, eyes widening in shock and surprise. "Oh my god," he chokes out, eyes brimming with tears. "Blaine...."

"Is it gross?" he asks, reluctant to leave his spot by Santana's shoulder.

"No," he says, laughing through his tears. "It's incredible." 

They look together and Blaine gasps loudly as he turns to the doctor. "Is that the head?"

"Yep," he nods, "okay Santana, listen to me. Two more big pushes, okay? First one to deliver the head, second to deliver the shoulders and then you're all done. On my count now, one..two.."

"Threeeeeeee!" Santana screams, pushing down for all she's worth. 

It suddenly becomes impossible to know who is saying what as everyone calls encouragement to Santana and someone- doctor, nurse, who knows, calls to her to keep going, keep going and at last the head is out. 

"One more!" Blaine sobs excitedly as he and Kurt push against her knees. "You can do this, you can!"

And with a final shout and a gigantic push, the baby is born. "Oh my god, oh my god," Kurt sobs as they both reach for the tiny infant. A swift finger is inserted into the baby's mouth, cleaning out the mucus and it gives a tiny splutter before a loud wailing fills the room. "Blaine! Blaine!"

"Girl," Blaine sobs, ignoring the blood and mucus and picking up their brand new daughter. "Kurt, we've got a little girl."

Kurt is rendered speechless, smoothing a shaking hand over the baby's head before leaning to kiss her gently. The doctor takes her then, to be cleaned, checked and weighed, leaving Santana to fall wearily back on the bed and Kurt and Blaine to stare at one another in wonder.

"A little girl," Kurt whispers before he breaks down completely. "We've got a daughter."

"Small," Blaine chokes out, leaning across to kiss his husband tenderly. "Kurt, she's so small." 

"Thank you," Kurt says, suddenly remembering Santana is in the room. "Oh my god, Santana just....thank you." 

"Come here, you dummies," she smiles, holding her arms out. They go willingly and the three cry together, totally overwhelmed and so immersed in what they've just achieved that neither man grosses out when Santana delivers the afterbirth. 

"We can never thank you enough for this," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes that just won't seem to stop leaking water. 

"We have gifts," Blaine continues, stroking her wet hair back from her forehead and kissing her tenderly. "Though they kind of pale in comparison to the gift you've just given us. That vacation you mentioned? It's ready and waiting. Lacy has all the details. And here..." 

Rummaging in his bag he produces a jewelry box, and places a large diamond pendant around her neck. The jewel shines brightly, and Santana's eyes go wide. "Holy hell it's huge," she whispers. "You didn't have to do this."

"Kurt picked it," Blaine admits. "I'm not allowed to choose such things."

"That's probably why I like it," she smiles. 

"As Blaine said, it's nothing compared to what you've given to us. It's uh...it's shaped like a teardrop because...well, you'll think this cheesy....but because you've saved so many of ours. You made this all so easy, so enjoyable and we felt so involved....just thank you, a million times and more. We love you so much." 

"It was seriously, my absolute pleasure," she grins tearfully. 

"Okay, we need to take Santana to be stitched now," a kindly nurse says, and the men turn to see her holding their baby out to them, swaddled in a white blanket and wearing a little pink hat. 

"Would you like to hold her?" Blaine asks, and Santana nods. 

"We need words," she says, taking the baby carefully from the nurse. "Well hello, little one," she coos, smiling softly. "Aren't you just all kinds of wonderful, huh? Now you need to listen to me. You have been so well behaved for me, these last nine months. So now you need to do the same for your dad's, okay? You're the luckiest little lady alive, I can tell you, because although they'll be completely dorky and totally embarrassing, they'll be the best parents you could wish for. Just remember though, when they sit down at the piano after dinner to sing the entire sound of music score for the eleventh time that week, you'll always be welcome at mine. So I'm gonna go now," she sniffles. "And leave you three alone." Kissing the baby's cheek gently, she passes her to Blaine, who looks like he might pass out any second. She offers a small wave as they wheel her from the room, and then she is gone. 

"It's up to you two," the nurse smiles as she tidies away. "But we encourage all new mothers on the ward to have some skin to skin contact with the baby. You might want to do the same- take your shirts off and cosy up on the couch together with her while she's only in a diaper. Open the front of the blanket and lie her against your chests, it helps to bond. I'm gonna leave you for now. Just pull the cord if you need anything." 

It takes an awful lot of maneuvering, but eventually Blaine lies back shirtless on the couch, with Kurt half on top of him and creating a 'v' shape for the baby to go in. Ever so carefully, as if afraid she might break, Blaine opens the front of the blanket and settles the now sleeping baby between them. She lets out an adorable little snuffle but stays settled, her tiny fist curled against Kurt's skin as they both look down at her in awe. 

Kurt smiles softly through never ending tears of joy. "Have you ever..."

"Never," Blaine whispers, not wanting to speak too loud and ruin the most perfect moment they've ever experienced. Reaching out, he runs a finger gently over her little round cheeks and button nose, marvelling at how huge his finger seems in comparison to her tiny features. "Never has there been a more beautiful little girl. And she's ours, Kurt. She's our little darling." 

"Look at her Blaine," he says quietly, pressing his lips to Blaine's temple. "Look at her little tiny fingers, the cute button nose, her perfect, unblemished skin...I love her so much already. I love her and I love you, dearly."

"I love you both too," he says, looking up at him and beaming before kissing him slowly. "Hmm, this is good," he sighs, wrapping an arm around the baby and another around his husband before kissing him again. "So good."

"What are we going to call her?" 

"I haven't a clue." 

They cuddle together for as long as possible, until the baby starts to cry and Blaine panics, pulling the cord for the nurse to return. "She's crying and I don't know why," he cries desperately. "She doesn't like me."

"She likes you," the nurse laughs. "She just wants feeding. Here," she says, holding out a bottle of formula.

"I don't know how," Blaine whispers, terrified. 

"Neither do I," Kurt adds. 

"Well you're gonna have to learn," the nurse says. "Wrap baby up tight and sit up."

Within a few minutes Kurt is settled in Blaine's lap, baby in arms as they feed her together, leaving the nurse to return to her desk once more and cluck about how cute the gay dads down the hall are together. Left alone in the room with a now sleeping baby, Kurt suddenly remembers the wider family and ignoring any hospital rules, pulls out his cell to call his dad. 

"Kurt?"

"Hey dad....you're a grandad!"

"What? Since when? Holy crap, Kurt! Holy crap! Boy? Girl? Name? Is it okay?"

"Calm down dad!" He laughs as Burt hollers for Carole. "Girl, she's wonderfully, wonderfully perfect and no name yet." 

"Can we come up? Can we?"

"Of course," Kurt laughs. "Bring Mike."

"Oh we certainly will!" Burt laughs. "We'll leave as soon as possible. Oh Kurt! Congratulations!" 

"One happy father," Kurt remarks to Blaine with a smile as he hangs up. "Time to make it two." 

"Hey dad," Blaine says cheerfully, swallowing down the tears he can feel threatening. "So...you have a new granddaughter."

"I what?" he asks, "let me just turn down the tv. That's better. Say it again?"

"You have a new Granddaughter," Blaine says louder, laughing at the gasp from his dad. 

"Really? Oh Blaine how wonderful! Oh, oh my son...she was right," Mike says, voice cracking with emotion. "Your mom was right."

"She was," Blaine nods, thrusting the phone at Kurt as he becomes too overwhelmed to speak. 

"Hey Mike," Kurt says cheerily, and happily listens to him gush over how happy he is. Once all the arrangements have been made for visiting, Kurt sets the phone down and takes the baby from the crib, handing her to Blaine. "Here," he says gently, rubbing one hand over his arm. 

"I wish," Blaine starts but it's all he can get out before heavy tears begin to fall and Kurt wraps his arms around both of them, kissing into Blaine's hair over and over. 

"I know, I know," he soothes. "It's okay. Cry and cry for her Blaine, because I'm crying too. We both wish our moms could be here but they're watching, I'm sure of it. Your mom was so certain we'd have a girl, and we did. Look at her, Blaine. She's here, and she's gonna grow up to know all about these two fantastic grandmas who watch over her, and we're gonna love her and make her happiness our lifetime priority, okay?" 

Blaine doesn't respond, only holds the baby tighter to his chest and snuggles into Kurt, who kisses them both in turn. They doze off, only realizing they have done so when the nurse arrives and announces the baby will be taken to the nursery for a few observations. "Nothing to worry about," she says cheerily. "Just routine checks. Use the time to send photos to anyone and everyone you've ever known," she smiles. "Then you might like to give her a bath, and get her dressed."

"Okay," Blaine says firmly. "We're gonna do this. We're gonna name her, and bath her, and dress her and probably panic like hell. But we're gonna do it." 

"Together," Kurt grins. 

"Together." 

*

"And I didn't drown her!" Blaine says happily down the phone to Wes. He has left Kurt in their private room, cuddling the baby close as he naps, and now he steadily goes through the barrage of text messages, calling back the most important ones, starting with Wes of course. "She cried a little bit, but Kurt held her and I poured the water over her tummy- which is just the cutest tummy in existence, by the way- and then when she was done I wrapped her in a towel and dried her. The dressing was a challenge," he admits. "Those onesies are incredibly difficult to maneuver little limbs into, and she did really yell at that point. But she like...stops yelling as soon as she has a bottle in her mouth. That's it. She just shuts up and sucks with these big blue eyes looking at you and...oh Wes," he laughs. "I can't wait for you to see her."

"Does she look like Kurt?"

"Yes," he smiles, thinking of the two of them back in the room. "She has his mouth, definitely, and eyes. Nose too, that cute little turned up bit. Yeah. Yeah she does look just like him. But not as much hair. There's just like this little bit of dark hair which the nurse says will probably fall out and then she'll go fair." 

"Can we come tomorrow?"

"Yes," Blaine says quickly. "Please do."

"And is Santana okay?" 

"She is. I've just been up to see her. It's good so far. She seems really happy about the baby but not upset at all, which is good. I guess all the counseling before hand helped. She's resting but said she'll come down to our room tomorrow." 

"That's good, I'm hoping to see her," Wes says slowly. "I uh...we...well, we have some news."

"Wes? Is there gonna be a mini Wes?" 

"Yes," Wes laughs. "Beginning of September."

"Oh my god!" Blaine cries. "Congratulations! Can I tell Kurt? Can I?"

"Yes," Wes agrees "but no one else yet." 

"Okay. Aw Wes! This is amazing!" 

*

"Did you want to call her Sara?" Kurt asks later that day. 

Blaine stops texting Riccardo and looks up, thinking. "I don't think I do," he says quietly. "If it was years further on, maybe. But right now I just don't feel ready for that daily reminder."

"Okay," Kurt shrugs. "I just felt like I should offer."

"And that's really sweet, thank you."

"It's okay, Blaine," Kurt says, studying him and knowing he feels guilty as hell. "You don't need to feel bad about it. We're entitled to name her whatever we want." 

"I know that, but I still feel like I want to honor her in some way." 

"I feel the same about my mom," Kurt admits. 

"So what are our options?" Blaine asks. "Beth's out the window, but Elizabeth has loads of diminutives. Eliza, for one."

"I hate it."

"O-Kay," he says slowly. "Um... Betty, Betsy, Elise, Libby, Lizzy..."

"What was that?" Kurt asks, sitting upright. 

"What was what?" 

"That name you just said."

"Lizzy?"

"No, before that."

"Libby."

"Yes," Kurt says, his whole face lighting up. "That one."

"You like it?" Blaine asks, moving from the armchair to the couch where Kurt sits. 

"I do," he confirms. "Do you?"

"I love it. Let's see what she thinks," he says, taking Kurt's hand and tugging him over to the plastic crib where the baby lies sleeping. "Well?" he asks, lifting her out and kissing her tiny nose. "Do you want to be called Libby, darling?"

"Oh my god Blaine, you're a genius!" Kurt laughs suddenly.

"Huh?"

"That's it! The perfect way to honor your mom and mine. We'll call her Libby Darling."

"And again, huh?" a totally confused Blaine asks. 

"Libby Darling Hummel-Anderson," Kurt says slowly. "In memory of both our moms and yet entirely original. Your mom called everyone darling, and if she was still here now, no matter what name we gave this baby, she'd still be known as darling. So that's what we'll do."

"I think..." Blaine starts slowly, shifting the baby to one arm to tug Kurt close. "I think that when our family arrives we can introduce them to our daughter, Libby Darling," he grins. "I love it. It's perfect. And now I'm gonna sit in the corner and cry a while, if that's okay."

"Can Libby and I sit with you?"

"I think I'd like that a lot," he smiles.


	47. Chapter 47

"I should have known you two couldn't be tasked with the responsibility of naming a child anything sensible," Santana says when she walks into their room the next day. Blaine looks up anxiously from where he's tucked in the corner of the couch, feeding Libby, his eyes flicking to Kurt in worry. 

"Is it terrible?" Kurt asks warily. "Do you hate it?"

"It's perfect and I love it," Santana laughs, sitting down next to Blaine and touching the baby's tiny foot in a brief hello. "No one uses their middle name anyway, Kurt, yours is Elizabeth but I hear very few people walking around calling you by your full name. Only Blaine when you say something shocking. No...you got this right. I think your mom would be really touched," she says, smiling at Blaine. "Did your dad see her yet?"

"Yeah, he came with Burt and Carole yesterday," he says quietly. "He uh....he cried. A lot."

"To be expected though," Santana says, laying a hand on his arm. "I mean, it's been two months, not long at all. Plus, it was a huge shock. No one had any time to prepare." 

"I know," he says, nodding. "I'm all too aware of how bittersweet this moment is, trust me."

Santana shuffles closer, kissing his cheek and looking down at the baby who stares back with big blue eyes. "I'm sorry," she says quietly. "Of course you are." 

"Ugh," Blaine splutters, forcing a smile. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry. Tired, y'know? It's all very well and good having a private room like this but you're expected to get up and tend to her yourself in the night."

"That's kinda what you have to do with babies that are yours," she grins, noticing how Kurt has nodded off in the armchair. "As I understand it, when you go home you also have to get up in the night too, the neighbor down the hall doesn't come rushing in to attend to her needs." 

"Six times," he whispers, horrified. "She woke up six times between ten and six. And to think I was worried she would cry in the night and we wouldn't hear her? Nuh-uh. She bellows." 

"Maybe she picked up a few of my traits while she was in there," Santana smiles proudly, stroking Libby's hand where it clutches Blaine's finger tightly. "Good girl."

"You okay?" Blaine asks, shifting Libby to his shoulder to wind her. "I mean, do you feel okay? Physically and...emotionally?

"I'm good," she smiles. "I have to admit I was worried. I thought I might not be able to look at her, or touch her for a few days but I can," she says, smoothing a hand over Libby's soft hair to prove her point. "And it doesn't feel weird. I think if she had looked like me in any way I might have found it harder, but there is absolutely no way she could have come from me," she smiles. "So I'm glad you used Kurt's...y'know."

"Santana!" Blaine laughs. "Are you getting bashful over the word sperm?"

"No...it's just...she's here now. It doesn't feel right to think of her like that. Cute," she smiles. "She's fallen asleep on your shoulder. She really does look like her papa. Is she everything you dreamed?"

"And more," Blaine grins, sniffing into Libby's neck and sighing contentedly. "If someone had asked me twenty years ago, to describe my future husband and subsequent child I couldn't have even come close to the perfection that is the pair of them. Look." Getting up, he carries Libby over to where Kurt lies curled in the armchair, setting her down in the crook of his arm, smiling indulgently as Kurt snuffles in his sleep, his arm automatically coming protectively around the baby, holding her tight. "Just....amazing," Blaine says quietly. 

"You know what we should do, while they're sleeping?" Santana asks as she joins him to look down at them. 

"What?" 

"Put them in ridiculous poses and take pictures of them."

"Oooh, tempting...."

"And fun," she finishes for him. "We can start by putting this pacifier in Kurt's mouth. Or is that some weird kink of yours that I don't know about?"

"Ew, no! And Kurt and I are not kinky."

Santana stops, pacifier in hand as she looks at Blaine and laughs. "Oh Blaine. In all the years I've known you that's the funniest joke you've ever made." 

*

"Mr. Hummel-Anderson!" the exasperated nurse shouts into the room. "Whichever one, it doesn't matter. A word, please!" 

Kurt scurries out into the corridor after her, smiling benignly and he hopes, innocently at her. "Can I help you?"

"This is a hospital!" she fumes. "At my last count, you had fifteen visitors in that room, plus the three of you and now I find two more in the hallway trying to locate you!"

"Ooh. Who?" 

"I don't know who," she snaps. "I realize you're excited about your daughter's arrival, and I understand that you want to share this time with your family and friends, but can you please keep it to a maximum of four visitors at any one time, please. You are not the Royal Family." 

"Yes, certainly," Kurt smiles politely as he spies Ken and Gill heading down the corridor laden down with gifts. "I do apologize." 

Satisfied, the nurse turns and stalks off down the hallway, glaring at Ken and Gill as she passes. "Is this a bad time?" Gill asks with concern. 

"Not at all!" Kurt says happily. "Come on in. We're having quite the party." 

The party carries on all afternoon, even though the nurse tells them three more times about visitor numbers before eventually realizing they're not going to comply. Libby is passed around everyone while Kurt and Blaine open multiple gifts and enjoy showing off their beautiful daughter. Wes and Kathy surprise Santana with an enormous bouquet of flowers and earrings to match the pendant, while Rachel announces she's booked them a spa weekend which Santana actually looks quite excited about. 

Libby receives endless amounts of clothes and soft toys from everyone, which Kurt and Blaine gush over. The visitor numbers swell to twenty two with the arrival of Nick, Jeff, Lacy and Anna with her husband Marcus, by which time the nurse looks in danger of a coronary, and so gradually people say their goodbyes- with all the Ohio contingent booked into a nearby hotel and promising to visit them at home tomorrow. Left with Riccardo, Lucia, Anna and Marcus, Kurt and Blaine revel in the relative quiet as Anna cradles the baby and instructs her husband to hand over the gifts

"I know this little lady will have all sorts of wonderful clothes," she says, smiling at them both. "But I couldn't resist the opportunity to make her a few more." 

"Gorgeous," Kurt says, unwrapping the delicate tissue paper to reveal a floral patterned dress with matching booties. "And actually, Blaine's mom knitted a cardigan that will match perfectly. Thank you."

"I'm afraid Riccardo shopped for our gift," Lucia explains. "I can only apologize." 

"No, no, you like! Blaine! You want Libby to be musical, yes? So she learn!"

Laughing, Blaine unwraps the xylophone, smiling until he realizes the accompanying noise a gift like that will bring. 

"For when she's older," Riccardo says happily. "Bang bang, yes?"

"Yes," Blaine says weakly. 

"And look! See what I did," he says, pressing a cd into Blaine's hand. "The album of piano concertos we made? I named it. You hold first copy in your hand." 

Blaine turns it over, the first album he has ever made where he plays piano solo on every track. 'Lullabies for Libby,' it says, and Blaine's heart swells with pride. 

"That's amazing," Kurt says softly. "Just...wonderful. Thank you, Riccardo. Thank you." 

"Will you bring her on tour?" Riccardo asks excitedly. "In the summer? Please? Then I can say to everyone 'here she is!'" 

"Um...well...we haven't really spoken about it, it's still four months away," Kurt says, embarrassed at being put on the spot. "Um..."

"Makes no difference to me," Anna says happily. "If you want to take off over the summer then go for it. We're booked in for Phantom starting September, you can design while you're on the road." 

"Blaine?" Kurt asks quietly.

"I said I wouldn't do summer tours again," he says with a shake of his head. "You wanted to take Libby on vacation."

"We could do that after?"

"You want to go?" Blaine asks in surprise.

"Yes," he laughs. "I think it would be so much fun. I'm sure Lucia and Gill would help me out."

"I would love to," Riccardo's wife says happily. 

"Um..." Blaine starts, but Kurt cuts him off. 

"You know it would be fun," he grins. "Say yes, go on, say yes."

"Yes!" he cries, pulling Kurt into a quick kiss as Riccardo cheers. "Anything for you," he whispers quietly into Kurt's ear, "anything for both of you." 

*

Nine o'clock the next morning finds Kurt and Blaine standing nervously outside the hospital, holding Libby in her car seat between them. "You can drive," Kurt says, staring out toward the parking lot. 

"No, I think you should."

"I can't," Kurt whispers.

"You're gonna have to drive her somewhere eventually," Blaine tries to reason. "That's why we got two cars."

"I know but...not yet. Please drive. You've been driving longer than I have," he wheedles. "And I'm so young...."

"Kurt!" Blaine laughs loudly. "Okay, okay, I'll drive. But don't let me fall asleep at the wheel." 

However nervous they are for the journey home, it is nothing compared to the all encompassing fear and dread they feel when they close the apartment door behind them and realize they're now in sole charge of a baby. 

"Holy shit," Kurt says, stood frozen in the hallway. "This is it."

"It is," Blaine nods. "Can you believe they think we're responsible enough for this? I'm sure they'll come calling soon, saying there's been some mistake."

"She's sleeping, at least," Kurt sighs. "So...what now?" 

"We could put her in silly positions and take pictures of her?"

"Blaine!" Kurt admonishes. "No! You wouldn't do that, would you?" 

"Nope," Blaine says quickly, thinking of the forty plus photos he has already of Libby in various poses. He's particularly fond of the one which looks like she's wearing Kurt's shoes. "Never." 

"Let's put her in the crib then make out like a couple of sex-starved teenagers," Kurt says decisively, and Blaine follows willingly. 

"Oh my god, come here," Blaine whispers the second Libby is settled. "Let me kiss you, properly. It's been two whole days since my tongue was...."

He is silenced by Kurt's mouth on his in a kiss almost bruising in its intensity. He welcomes the feel of Kurt's tongue against his lips, moaning happily and opening his mouth wider. "I think we should move this to our room," he gasps when Kurt starts to bite his neck. "We'll hear her if she wakes." 

"I don't think we have long," Kurt says, backing him down the hallway and removing his own shirt while he's at it. "She was fed three hours ago. It's only a matter of time."

Blaine's eyes travel over him appreciatively in a manner which still sets Kurt's heart racing. "I can be quick."

"Aw honey, I know you can," Kurt teases, reaching for his sweater and tugging it over his head. 

Blaine, growls, making Kurt laugh loudly and he falls willingly onto the bed with Blaine landing on top of him. Still laughing, Blaine pins Kurt's arms above his head and kisses down his body, teasing the nipples of his shirtless husband until he's writhing beneath him. Rubbing his hand over the bulge in the front of Kurt's jeans, Blaine yanks his t-shirt over his head before pressing his bare torso to Kurt, both of them groaning happily. 

"Blaine?" Kurt gasps, his body arching under his touch.

"Mmm?"

"I want it hard, fast and rough."

"Thank you for your order, sir," Blaine chuckles, kneeling between Kurt's legs and unbuttoning his fly. "Will that be all?" 

"A side order of heavy marking but not above my collar line, and for dessert I'll be requiring sweet kisses and lazy cuddles." 

"Coming right up," Blaine grins, pressing his face into Kurt's hip, running his tongue out before sucking a large purple mark just above the bone. He pretends not to hear the first, tiny cry that comes, and he knows Kurt does too by the way his body tenses under him but he carries on tugging at his hair. The second one is louder though, and he groans and kisses Kurt's stomach sweetly. The third and forth come quickly followed by a subsequent burst of wailing that Blaine is pretty sure can be heard by the whole of Illinois. "Ugh," he groans, and Kurt pushes lightly at his shoulders. 

"I'll go." 

"Cockblocked by a two day old baby," he groans as Kurt carries her into the room. 

"Ohh grumpy, grumpy daddy," Kurt says to Libby in his best baby talk voice. "I know it sucks," he says to Blaine, "but look. Look how cute she is."

"Hear how loud she is," Blaine grumbles, kissing the top of her head. "Guess I'll be making up some formula then." 

"Hey! I'm here!" Santana calls loudly as she opens the door. "And I have your parents with me. Oh for goodness sake, Kurt! Why is your shirt in the hall?" 

"I forgive you for all your cockblocking," Blaine whispers to Libby as he pulls his t-shirt back on. "The alternative could have been so much worse." 

"Are you two naked?" Santana calls, knocking on their bedroom door. 

"Seriously!" Kurt yells over Libby's wailing. "Does it sound like we would be?" Turning to Blaine, cheeks flaring an indignant shade of red, he hisses "Why does she still have a key? It's been two years since we found out she got one, and you still haven't asked her for it back!" 

"Well neither have you!" 

Kurt pauses, halfway to the closet to find a top. "Good point. Ah well, just go give Libby to someone and make her up some formula." 

"Yes, Kurt, I'm on it, Kurt," Blaine jokes with a mock salute. 

"Good boy. And don't forget my order for later," he adds with a wink. 

* 

The endless stream of visitors are very welcome, but exhausting. By the time Libby is ten days old, Kurt and Blaine are both wrecks. Unshaven, with very few clean clothes left between them after it turns out Libby is very good at regurgitating milk as quickly as it went down, the apartment is a mess and the cupboards are bare. 

"This is not how I thought it would be." Kurt is sprawled on the couch, in Blaine's track pants and an old t-shirt, surveying the wreck of the room. Coffee cups from guests long since departed litter every surface. Cards are everywhere as are piles and piles of gifts. In the middle of the floor lies Libby, contentedly staring at a black and white zebra hanging from her baby gym, Blaine propped on one elbow next to her, gazing down in wonder. 

"Same," Blaine nods. "I thought she'd sleep more, for one thing."

"This can't go on forever, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure I wasn't waking on an hourly basis when I was a little kid." 

"No, she has to start sleeping sometime. It's just that by then we'll be too worn down to appreciate it, and all those Facebook posts you were dreaming of, bragging about how your baby sleeps through, well they won't happen cause you won't have the energy to type." 

"She is delicious though," Kurt says, smiling down at her.

"She is. But we need to do something. Get some help...or something."

"We do." Kurt agrees.

"So...who we gonna call?"

"Ghostbusters?" Kurt laughs at his own joke then sees the look on Blaine's face. "Sorry."

"I could call Kathy and Wes?"

"You can't do that. Kathy is pregnant and really tired out, and Wes teaches in the week. You can't expect him to drive up here two weekends in a row. And Santana's on vacation, don't forget."

"Rachel?"

"Working."

"Carole?"

"Working."

"Why do all these people have jobs?" Blaine cries exasperatedly. "Ugh."

"We have jobs."

"Oh my god we do," Blaine says, stunned. "How are we expected to go back to work with this?"

"This has a name, and we worked it all out months ago."

"I know, but the lack of sleep, I mean? I had two hours sleep last night. Two. I haven't even got the energy to put the mugs in the dishwasher and...oh for fucks sake," he groans as the buzzer sounds. "Sorry, Libby. Who is it this time?" 

"Hey Uncle Blaine, it's your favorite niece!" 

"You're my only niece," he grumbles through the intercom at Maddie. "Come on up." 

"Woah! What the hell happened here?" Joe laughs when they arrive in the apartment.

"Libby happened," Kurt says wearily. 

"Hey cutie," Joe coos, kneeling on the floor and taking her in his arms. "Are you causing trouble for your daddies? Huh?"

"Not trouble so much, just....lack of sleep, resulting in lack of energy."

"You have to stop having so many visitors," Maddie tells them as she settles on the floor next to Joe. "This place is usually pristine. I know babies come with a lot of stuff, but even so. This place is starting to look like Joe's apartment when I haven't cleaned it." 

"We can't turn people away though," Blaine reasons. "They've come to see Libby, and they bring gifts. I can't just say 'thanks, but not right now.'"

"Yes you can. All your family and friends have been at least twice- and that's a hell of a lot of visitors if you think about it. And anyway, when I called in yesterday you were showing two journalists out. They're not here to see you or the baby, they're here from Classical World magazine, hoping they can show how LGBT friendly they are by featuring a world class gay pianist in an at home with his husband and baby."

"Yeah...they did mention something about that."

"You see?" Maddie continues. "There's no harm in asking people to call before they visit. And you two need to rest. You look exhausted."

"We are," Kurt moans. 

"Why don't Maddie and I take Libby out for a walk?" Joe offers. "You two can clean this place then take a nap."

Kurt is quick to sit upright on the couch. "Oh no. No way."

"Why?"

"You...in charge of a baby...no."

"Four younger sisters, remember?" he snarks at Kurt. "And it's just a walk."

"Do you know how to change diapers?" Blaine asks him.

"Yes."

"Feed her? Burp her?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what to do if she chokes?"

"Blaine, I'm offering to watch her for a couple of hours. Not adopt her."

"I'm not sure," Kurt muses, sharing worried glances with Blaine. 

"Oh look, Libby's in her stroller already," Maddie grins at the shocked parents. "Diaper bag?"

"Uh...hall closet," Kurt says slowly. "But I..."

"Okay," Joe says brightly, emerging from the kitchen with a bottle in his hand. "We have milk, we have diapers, we have baby. See you in two hours." 

The door slams and Kurt turns to Blaine, stunned. "They took our baby," he says, eyes wide with surprise. 

"Yes."

"You don't seem alarmed."

"I'm more....entranced," Blaine says smiling softly. 

"Huh?"

"Entranced...by you," he repeats, holding his arms out. "C'mere." 

"But they...."

"Listen, Kurt," he urges. "Listen."

"To what? There's nothing to listen to."

"Precisely," Blaine grins as Kurt slowly moves to the armchair to settle into his lap. "Nothing. Not a sound. There's no one here but us. For two whole hours."

"Y'know...." Kurt says, a slow smile forming on his face. "There's a lot we could achieve in two hours."

"An awful lot," Blaine whispers, nuzzling into his neck and breathing deeply. "And I've still got an order on hold from the other day...."

"I've changed my mind," Kurt says, arching his neck and letting out a soft moan. 

"Oh no, Kurt," Blaine murmurs, running his tongue over his skin. "No no no."

"I don't want it hard, fast and rough," Kurt says, shifting to straddle him face on. "I want it long, drawn out and slow." 

“Well that I can definitely do. Mmm, I’ve missed this,” he says, leaning up to kiss at his lips. “Like...really missed it.”

“You wanna take this to the bedroom?” Kurt asks, already unbuttoning Blaine’s shirt. “I’m just thinking that if they do come back for any reason...”

“Yes. It would scar all of us for life,” Blaine agrees. 

They shuffle down the hallway together, Kurt’s arms wrapped tightly around Blaine from behind, both giddy at the prospect of being together once more. They make love slowly and sweetly, exploring every inch of each other for as long as they possibly can until Blaine settles between Kurt’s legs and enters him. Clutching tight to his back, Kurt rises up to find his husbands lips, and they share long, lazy kisses with Blaine gently moving inside until it becomes too much to bear and they climax together. 

“I’ve gone all wobbly,” Blaine laughs shyly as his arms start to tremble and he carefully lies Kurt back down on the bed. “Y’know... I love you more now you’re the father of our child,” he says, kissing gently at Kurt’s shoulder as he withdraws. 

Kurt turns onto his side as they snuggle down together, almost nose to nose. “Really?” he asks, eyes sparkling with pleasure. “Because it's totally the same for me. When you were over me, just then, moving inside me, I looked at you and thought how wonderful this all is. I have so many connections with you that I’ll simply never have with anyone else, and now we have the ultimate bond. And I love watching you with her. I love hearing you talk to her when you’re changing her diaper. I love the discussion you had this morning about which outfit papa would like best. Little things like that- the way you pull goofball faces at her, or kiss her tiny fingers- they all just make me love you more and more..... And...you’re crying. What a surprise,” he laughs, kissing at Blaine’s cheeks. “See? I love you more.”

“I miss her when she’s not here,” Blaine admits. “But this time with you just feels like heaven. I’m not going to feel guilty about asking people to watch her, or about ignoring the chores while she sleeps in favor of taking you to bed, because I feel on top of the world right now. We’re going to be better parents if we focus on each other as well as Libby, you know. And she’ll be happier as a result.” 

“They’ll be back in half an hour,” Kurt says quietly, ducking his head so Blaine won’t notice his tears, but of course he does.

“Want me to hold you?”

“Yes please.” 

*

“Why does this apartment look exactly the same?” Joe asks when he returns to find Kurt and Blaine cuddled up on the couch. “Oh.” He stops dead as he realizes. “You two had sex, didn't you?”

“Joe!” Maddie reprimands as she takes Libby from the pram. “Do you mind? They’re my Uncles.”

“You did though, didn’t you?” Joe asks, noticing Blaine’s ultra smug grin. 

“We didn't just do that,” Kurt says, trying for nonchalant but failing miserably. “We changed the sheets.”

“And I shaved,” Blaine adds. 

“Ew, Ew, Ew!” Maddie cries in horror. “You are disgusting. Have your baby back. She was good as gold, by the way, and she was fed an hour ago. We’re going to leave you now, because I need to go bleach my brain. Love you all.” 

“Thank you!” a cheery Kurt calls after them, but Blaine is too absorbed in Libby to notice them leave. 

“Did you miss your daddy and papa, baby girl? Did you?”

“Blaine, she’s asleep.”

“I know that,” he smiles. “But I don’t care. C’mon. Let’s clean up while she naps.” 

An hour later and they’re almost done when Libby wakes with a loud wail. “Okay, okay,” Blaine calls from the kitchen. “I’m coming.”

“Is that okay?” Kurt calls back. “I was just gonna vacuum.”

“Go ahead, I’m almost done here.”

But to both their surprise, the second Kurt turns on the vacuum, Libby stops crying and listens intently. Blaine rushes into the living room to find her, eyes fixed on the hanging zebra once again, transfixed by the noise. 

“I think she likes it!” Kurt calls. 

“Turn it off!” 

So Kurt does, and the crying starts once again. 

“Turn it back on! Turn it back on!” 

And again, the crying stops. 

“Excellent!” Blaine laughs, “So now we can have a happy baby and clean floors.” 

They are happy for the rest of the day, the three of them spending a long time on the floor examining the merits of the zebra before they all climb into the tub together. 

“Apart from the times we’ve been completely obscene,” Blaine muses, playing with Libby’s toes as Kurt holds her. “This is the best bath I’ve ever had.”

“She likes it too,” Kurt observes. “Looks like we’re going to be spending all our time in the tub or vacuuming.” 

They curl up in bed together after, with Kurt cradling Libby in his arms as he feeds her, and Blaine putting an arm around them both, drawing them close and kissing Kurt’s cheek. 

“The stars are out,” he sings softly, smiling down at their tiny daughter.   
“The moon is up,   
It’s time to go to bed.   
I’m so glad you have a place   
To lay your little head.

Have a deep and peaceful sleep,  
Dream away the hours.  
When you wake, the sun will come  
To smile upon the flowers.

Go to sleep my little friend,  
Beneath the evening star  
And you will always have a friend,  
No matter where you are.”

Taking the bottle from a now sleeping Kurt, he gently lowers Libby into the crib at the side of their bed, kissing her cheek softly. “Love you, my little darling,” he whispers, flipping out the light and pulling Kurt into his arms. “And I love you, my gorgeous boy.”


	48. Chapter 48

“Blaine!” Kurt hisses, waking his husband with a start. “Blaine!”

“What? What is it?” he peers into the early morning gloom, rubbing at his eyes to see Kurt sitting upright in alarm. 

“It’s nearly six. She’s still asleep.”

“Oh my god,” he whispers, alarmed. “Is she okay?”

Kurt leans over to peer into the crib, digging Libby in the ribs and making her snuffle in surprise. “Well, she’s breathing.”

“What should we do?”

“I don’t know. What does the book say?”

Blaine flips the lamp on and rifles through the well thumbed book to find the chapter on sleep, pulling on his glasses in order to read the words on the page. “There doesn't seem to be any specific mention of what to do if your ten day old baby sleeps for seven hours,” he says as he scans the book. “It just says that somewhere between three and four months your baby will start to sleep for longer periods at night.”

“Perhaps she’s just really advanced,” Kurt says happily, and Blaine’s face lights up. 

“I’ll bet that’s it,” he agrees. “So...I dunno. She’ll wake when she’s hungry I guess. Cause she’ll know.”

“I’m so happy we have a smart one,” Kurt sighs, settling back under the covers for Blaine to rest on his chest. 

“Me too.”

Their moment doesn't last for long though, as ten minutes later Libby wakes as if starved, guzzling down a huge amount of milk before bringing most of it back up over Blaine’s pajamas. 

“A little too much, I feel,” Kurt smiles, helping him to remove his top. 

“She seemed to really like it though.”

“Next time, be firm,” Kurt says, taking the baby and heading toward the bathroom. “Don’t indulge her.”

“What’s the point in having a kid if you can’t indulge them?” Blaine calls after him.

“Your mom would have come down on you like a ton of bricks for that,” Kurt answers, and Blaine laughs happily. 

They navigate grocery shopping that day, which takes twice as long as expected due to the number of people stopping them to coo over the cute baby, and Kurt and Blaine proudly show her off and tell anyone who will listen about how smart she is. They have the bug for going out in public then, and rush home to put the groceries away before walking along Navy pier together, Kurt with his arm linked happily though Blaine’s as he pushes the stroller. 

“We could call into work, show her off a bit?” Blaine suggests, and Kurt readily agrees. Riccardo is overjoyed at having his rehearsal interrupted by his favorite orchestra member and his newest addition, taking Libby from the stroller and bellowing to everyone that he had met her when she was only a day old. From there they head to Kurt and Anna’s office, and Blaine settles in the corner to feed Libby while Kurt runs through some designs. 

“Why don’t you take these home?” Anna asks, handing a stack of papers to Kurt with a smile. “You know, you’re so much better at design than I am. Sewing is where my heart lies. I’m more than happy to make up the costumes from your sketches and patterns. Then you can have more time at home with your man...Libby too, of course.”

“Are you sure? I mean...”

“Kurt, really. Having a baby is precious. You never get this time again. Take your time getting to know her, enjoy every day that she grows. But I do need you in twice a week,” she adds with a laugh.

“Oh I will, that’s fine. That’s better than fine, actually,” he says, kissing her cheek. “Thank you.”

*

Time moves on. Their daughter becomes two weeks old, then a month, and then two. Kurt and Blaine are endlessly fascinated by her charms. She continues to sleep through the night, and the bragging facebook posts Kurt dreamed of finally become a reality. Happy tears are shed over Libby’s first smile, and then hours are wasted trying to get her to repeat it for the camera. Their stream of visitors is still constant, but better maintained, and the doting grandparents discover the absolute joy of facetime when Blaine gives them each an iPad. 

Santana is the loving aunt that she promised she would be, happily watching her for Kurt and Blaine while they ‘get some’ as she so delicately puts it, and Joe babysits for them to go on a much longed for date together. Kathy and Wes visit at the start of May- a tiny bump just starting to show through her clothes- and all four enjoy spending time together. 

“I can’t believe how much she’s grown,” Wes laughs, lifting Libby up to his face to blow a raspberry into her neck. “She’s like a proper little person.”

“Wes, Wes, guess what?” Blaine asks excitedly, making Kurt laugh at the way his husband reverts to an over excited child in his best friend's presence. “When she’s asleep, she’s really portable. You can take pictures of her and stuff. It's hilarious. Look.”

“Blaine!” Kurt screeches, diving across the room to take a look at the iPad. “I keep asking you if you’re doing that, and you keep denying it. She’s a baby!”

“But it’s really funny,” he counters. “Look. Yesterday, when you were working, I put different hats on her. The day before it was bowties. And look at this one. See? It looks like she’s playing basketball.” 

“Aw, I want a baby now,” Wes moans.

“You’ll get one soon enough,” Kathy tells him. “And when you do, you’re not dressing it up like...a footballer? Blaine, that’s just cruel.”

“She was only in the helmet for a little while,” Blaine protests. “That was when we went to visit Taylor,” he tells Kurt. 

“So everyone knows about this except me?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Now I want her to nap so I can play too,” he grins, ruffling Blaine’s hair. “You’re a five year old. But I love you.” 

"If she's as portable as you say, do you fancy visiting us next weekend? I think your dad is getting anxious to see Libby again," Wes tells Blaine. "And you know he's moving Friday. Maybe you could come down and help out? I'm sure Kathy and Rachel would watch Libby." 

"I uh...I don't know," Blaine mutters, feet scuffing at the floor. "I'll probably be in the way. Finn and Cooper will do most of the heavy stuff, and there's you, and Seb, Burt...." 

"Blaine," Wes says, sitting him down on the couch while Kathy and Kurt make themselves scarce. "I know this hurts, okay? But think how much harder this is on your dad. He needs you, Blaine. He needs Libby's beautiful smiling face to distract him. Who can resist, huh?" he says, smiling at the baby who smiles back happily. "Please. He was so upset when you couldn't make it."

"He wasn't," Blaine says, shaking his head defiantly. "He said he understood. He can remember how hard it is to travel with a tiny baby."

"Because he's not going to upset you, that's why," Wes says gently. "He loves you so much, and he knows how this is affecting you. But I see him almost daily, Blaine. He lives for Libby, as he said he would. She's all he talks about- how big she's getting, how she smiles now, and gurgles... And he's so happy to see all of you settled in your lives. He loves having Cooper and the twins close by and I think his next goal is to see Maddie and Joe married. He hates to be moving, but he knows, and you know too, that it makes sense."

"I have these moments," Blaine whispers as the tears start to fall. "Particularly when dad is holding Libby....when I can hear mom," he says, swiping at his eyes. "The last time we visited him, he had her in her arms and I could hear him telling her all about her grandma and I just...I could hear mom. I could hear her telling him off in that way she had, when he told Libby that he eats mac and cheese most days. I could hear her telling him not to pull goofball faces at the baby in case he frightened her, and when Libby smiled at him...I could see her, Wes. I could see her right there, leaning over his shoulder and cooing over her, calling her darling and telling us all how pretty she is, even though we already know," he pauses, laughing tearfully before turning sad once more. "And I'm so frightened that I just won't see her anymore, that I won't be able to hear her voice. This new place will have no memories of her, and I'm just not ready to let her go." 

He breaks down completely then, prompting Wes to shift Libby to his other arm to hold Blaine as best he can, soothing him and reassuring him. "She will always be with you. You know that. You do," he emphasises when he feels Blaine shake his head against his neck. "In your heart. And yes, it will become harder to remember the sound of her voice, or every little detail about her...but she will always be there. You'll talk of her with your dad, your brother, Kurt... You know, time..."

"Don't tell me time heals," Blaine sniffs. "Just don't."

"I wasn't going to. Time sucks, because it takes us further away from our loved ones who have gone. But time also gives us the ability to talk about them without it twisting like a knife every time that we do, it helps us to see things or hear things and think how much our loved one would have enjoyed that comment, or liked that picture without it bringing on a bout of gut wrenching tears. It doesn't heal, no. You'll always miss her and long for her, and there's no point in pretending otherwise. But you are so lucky to have so many around you who loved and cherished her too, most especially Kurt. And of course, watching this little lady grow up has to be the best gift that time can ever give." 

Kissing Libby's cheek gently, he hands her back to Blaine, rubbing a soothing hand over his back. "Kathy and I will see you three for brunch tomorrow before we leave."

"Thank you," Blaine says quietly, gazing down at Libby with a tender smile. "And you can expect us in Ohio next weekend." 

"Sure," Wes says as he stands. "Just make sure to call your dad and let him know."

*

As is now their customary habit, Kurt and Blaine curl up in bed that night to give Libby her last feed, with both singing a soft lullaby as she gently falls asleep. Once she's settled in her crib and the light is out, Blaine reaches out in the dark, finding Kurt's cheek and tracing his fingers along his jaw. 

"Thank you for talking to Wes," he whispers.

"He told you?"

"No, I just knew you had."

"Well one of us usually manages to get through to you," Kurt says, scooting forward to close the small gap between them and kiss his lips. "I'm glad you changed your mind."

"It wasn't that I didn't listen to you," Blaine starts tentatively. "It's just..."

"It's just sometimes better to hear something from someone other than your husband, I get it."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You can tell me a million and one times that I'm working too hard and I'll ignore you and carry on. But if Anna tells me I look haggard I drop everything and go for a nap. It doesn't mean I don't love you, because I love you and Libby more than anything. It's just that sometimes it's easier to listen to an outsider.... Not that I'm calling Wes an outsider," he adds hurriedly. 

"No one knows me like you do, Kurt," Blaine says softly, clasping his hands and holding them between their chests. "No one. And no one ever will. You understand me because you complete me, it's as simple as that. And you, and our daughter, are everything to me." 

"Kiss me," Kurt whispers, and Blaine happily obliges, rolling his weight on top of a very eager Kurt and claiming his mouth for his own. 

"Hold on," Blaine murmurs, and hops from the bed and drags the crib- complete with sleeping baby- out into the hall. 

"Why did you put her out there?" Kurt asks, sitting up and laughing in disbelief.

"You know very well why," Blaine says, moonlight glinting off his body as he pulls off his pajamas. 

Kurt grins as Blaine crawls up the bed toward him. "I think I might need you to show me."

"I can do that," he whispers hotly, running his hands up the soft skin of Kurt's side and sliding his pajama top off. "Aaaahhhhh, Kurt," he moans, placing hot kisses over his chest "You just....ugh. You just....mmmm," he gets out as he moves lower, sliding Kurt's pajamas to his ankles before smoothing his hands over his thighs. 

"High praise indeed," Kurt chuckles. "Thank you." 

"Let me ride you," Blaine begs brokenly from where his face is now nuzzled between Kurt's legs.

"Fuck, yes," Kurt moans eagerly. "But no lube. Let me use my tongue."

Blaine's head stills, resting right next to Kurt's now hard cock which is silently begging to be sucked. He nods, trying to contain his ear splitting grin at the prospect of his favorite activity, but he fails and a laugh bubbles up. "It's like fucking Christmas," he says, before a swallowing Kurt down. He sucks eagerly, knowing exactly what Kurt likes best, and smiling around him as he feels him tensing up. Pulling off, he delicately wipes the corner of his mouth, chuckling when Kurt whimpers.

"I was just..."

"I know," he says, draping himself over his body and kissing under his jaw. "Which is why I stopped."

His husband laughs, rolling him over and scraping his teeth over his neck. "I love you," he murmurs, before kissing down his body, stopping to tease his tongue around the head of Blaine's cock. "Turn over." 

Blaine does so happily, lifting his hips for Kurt to slide a pillow under, and snorting into the sheets when Kurt speaks directly into his ear. "Come on my pillow and we're over," he says, making Blaine shiver at the way in which his smile curves against his ear. 

"I'll hold off," he smiles, turning his head to the side and watching Kurt as he moves lower. "I wanna come with you buried deep inside me," he says, then yelps when Kurt bites one ass cheek. 

"That can be arranged." 

Blaine groans loudly at the feeling of Kurt's tongue running along his crack, immediately tucking his knees up to put himself on display, and Kurt licks keenly over his entrance, slowly working him open with his tongue and fingers until Blaine is clutching desperately at the sheets. "Please, please...the pillow's gonna get it," he groans, which makes Kurt laugh and pull back, lying down on his back where Blaine eagerly scrambles on top of him, stroking him over a few times with a wet palm before sinking down. 

"Oh holy shit that's tight," Kurt breathes, screwing his eyes shut in pleasure as Blaine stills on top of him. 

"Yeah," he squeaks. "It's...uh...yeah."

"You okay, tiger?" Kurt grins up at him, happily accepting the lingering kiss Blaine gives him. 

"Perfect. On fire, but perfect," he chuckles, resting his chest to Kurt's and kissing his shoulder. "I love you, gorgeous boy."

"You too, old man." 

They move together seamlessly, settling into a rhythm that soon has Blaine bracing one arm against the headboard and panting hard at the exertion. "Fuck," he gasps as Kurt seems to double his efforts, chasing that elusive release. "Kuuuuurt."

Arching his back, he cries out loudly when Kurt reaches for his cock and he feels his orgasm quickly approaching. "Kuuuurt," he moans again as he comes so hard his vision turns black, falling forward when Kurt spills inside him, clutching his back tightly and whimpering softly. Their breathing is harsh and ragged, and they stay holding one another for as long as possible, until Blaine reluctantly moves to the bathroom. He returns to clean a sleepy Kurt gently before rearranging the pillows and climbing in next to him. 

"My pillow!" Kurt cries when he rests his head. "It's wet."

"Uh...sorry about that," Blaine says, hoping the darkness will hide his smile. "I might have got a little um..."

"Switch with me," Kurt tries, but Blaine's having none of it. 

"I'm not switching, but I will let you share mine."

"You never use yours anyway," Kurt laughs, sliding over and holding his arm out for Blaine to curl into his embrace. "You use my chest."

"Hmm, I do," Blaine says happily. "Cause it's perfect." 

They both close their eyes, completely happy and relaxed until Blaine suddenly remembers. "Shit! Libby!" Rushing out into the hallway, he retrieves the crib, bending to kiss her sweet head before settling down with Kurt once more. 

"Nearly," Kurt laughs.

"I know. Whatever you do, don't let me leave her behind in Ohio." 

*

"How does such a smart baby become so attached to a hideous orange teddy bear?" Kurt asks as he drives them toward Westerville. 

"It's a mystery," Blaine says, turning to look at Libby gazing at the orange bear in adoration.

"I made her one, too. And she just ignores it. I'm telling you, her taste had better improve."

"I'm sure it will," Blaine laughs. "And once she grows up to realize her papa is Kurt Anderson, the most sought after costume designer of a generation, she'll soon start begging you to make her clothes." 

"Will you quit with that?" Kurt asks, though his cheeks tinge pink with pleasure.

"Quit with what?" Blaine says innocently.

"With quoting that newspaper article at me," he tells him, rolling his eyes fondly. 

"Nope," Blaine grins. "Never," Blaine says, picking up the paper and reading aloud. 

"In less than a year, Anderson-Farris have become the leader of the pack in costume design. Productions that are still in the early planning stage are all vying for their attention, desperate to secure their services. Their talent has been recognized by industry panels too; the pair have just been awarded best designers at the Guild of Stage and Screen awards for their work on Wind in The Willows, beating off fierce competition from the regular stalwarts. 'Mr.Anderson does the majority of the design,' Ms. Farris tells us proudly of her young protege. 'I'm happier to make the pieces; I'm not going to pretend I have even half the artistic flair that he does.' This, coupled with the pictures Mr. Anderson proudly shows us of his and his husband's self made wedding outfits, plus the wedding dress he designed recently for a friend, all go to show that Mr. Anderson is without doubt the most talented and sought after costume designer of a generation." 

"I'm blushing," Kurt says with a small laugh. 

"I know you are, and it's still as hot as it was when you were sixteen," Blaine says, reaching for his hand. "I'm so proud of you."

"Oh really?" Kurt teases, "I hadn't noticed. The sex last night didn't convey that and neither did the diamond cufflinks, nor the matching tie clip." 

"I can't wait to go to the awards with you," Blaine says with a huge grin. "I'm gonna wear my worlds most supportive husband hat."

"You are not," Kurt says, laughing loudly. "We're both wearing the suits that I'm designing and Anna's making. I'm not turning up to collect an award for my costume design in anything other than an Anderson-Farris original." 

"And I take it Anna will be showcasing one of your spectacular evening gowns?"

"Why of course," Kurt smiles, then pouts. "I wanna take Libby."

"No you don't," Blaine laughs. "You want to design a little dress for her, that's all. Which you can do anyway. No offense to our darling, but we'll have way more fun without her. I don't think babies are generally allowed to red carpet awards ceremonies. Besides which, I think Santana would have your eyes out if you denied her babysitting privileges."

"She's still pissed that Kathy and Rachel get her today."

"I know, but I'm not ready to leave her in Chicago while we spend the weekend in Ohio," Blaine tells him.

"You feeling okay?" Kurt asks, squeezing his fingers. 

"No," he answers honestly. "But it has to be done. A house is just a house...right?"

"Right," Kurt confirms. "And you know how upset I was when dad announced we were moving all those years ago, so I know how you feel, I do. But your memories are in your heart. And this is right for your dad. Let's be honest, he's doing well, but he's nearing eighty. He's not what he was. A retirement place is best for him, Wes is ten minutes drive away, there's a nurse on call and Rachel and Finn are fairly close...they'll all look out for him." 

"Shame Kathy isn't still in my old place," Blaine muses. "It's not even a five minute walk."

"Wanna swing by and take a look at it?" Kurt asks. "Wes said the tenants have done wonders with the front yard."

"It was perfectly acceptable when I lived there," Blaine grumbles.

"It was just grass, which you paid the kid down the road to cut for you," Kurt laughs. "Come on. Don't be a grouse. Let's go see." 

It feels strange, to sit outside a house that technically belongs to them, but to not be able to go inside. Blaine sighs heavily, turning his head toward Libby when she gurgles. "What's this place? Well darling, this is where I fell in love with your papa. When you're older I'll tell you more, but suffice to say we learned an awful lot about each other within those four walls." 

"Oh, I don't think you'll be needing to tell her any more than that," Kurt smiles, holding his hand tight. "Now come on, your dad will be waiting." 

It is a long day, and many tears are shed, but by the time evening arrives, Mike Anderson is settled into his brand new two bedroom bungalow. The removal men depart, along with numerous family and friends and Kurt tells Blaine he's riding back with Wes and Kathy, leaving him and Libby alone with Cooper and their dad. 

"Do you like it?" Mike asks tentatively once the front door is closed. 

"It's great, dad," Cooper says with bright enthusiasm. 

"Yeah," Blaine says, bouncing the baby on his knee. "Really great."

"I feel bad...liking it," Mike says before he bursts into tears. "I feel heartbroken to leave, but excited to be here, is that wrong?"

"No, no," Cooper reassures, rushing to kneel next to his chair. "Not at all. This is much more manageable for you."

"That's it," Mike says, swiping at his eyes. "I can potter around in the yard, I can have people over and manage to walk from the kitchen to the living room without having to rest....but....but..."

"But she's not here," Blaine says, coming to kneel on his other side and ignoring the pointed look from his brother. "I get it, because I've been feeling the same." Settling Libby in Mike's lap, he gazes down at her, smiling at the way she gives Mike a gummy grin. "But Libby's here," he says, running a hand over her head. "And you promised you'd be alive to meet her," he says quietly, looking at his tiny daughter. "You kept your promise, and now I think she'd quite like it if her grandpa watched her grow."

"I can do that," Mike nods. "And you know, I have a guest room. You three could fit in there, I'm sure."

"Of course we could," Blaine says, squeezing his hand. "And we will. Soon."

"Next weekend?" Mike asks hopefully.

"I'll have to talk to Kurt..."

"He said yes," Mike says with a bold smile. "And Cooper, you can expect Taylor, Maddie and Joe home for the weekend too." 

"Oh," he says, surprised. 

"I thought we could all go out for dinner." 

"Well I see you've got this all arranged," Blaine says with a laugh. "So count us in."

"Us too," Cooper says, standing and kissing the top of his head. "Now Blaine and I must be going," he says, urging his brother to his feet and taking Libby. "But I'll see you next weekend."

"And I'll see you tomorrow," Blaine says, kissing his cheek. "Those pictures aren't going to put themselves up." 

"I feel so helpless," Mike says sadly. 

"Well you won't be," Blaine tells him. "You're on babysitting duty."

Mike laughs at this and they say their goodbyes, with Cooper and Blaine walking out to their cars. "I think he'll be just fine," Cooper says, fastening Libby's car seat buckle and kissing her rosy cheek. 

"He'll be lonely," Blaine says softly, staring at the ground. "We can't all keep visiting every weekend." 

"I know," Cooper says, resting a hand on his shoulder. "But there's nothing we can do about that. He'll make friends on the complex though, which is better than sitting at home staring at a photo of mom, which is all he's been doing for the past three months." 

"I guess," Blaine nods, hugging him tight. "I'll see you in a week." 

Kurt holds him tight that night while he cries, and when he wakes up in the morning to have Kathy and Wes tell them over breakfast that they're expecting a girl, he of course cries again. They spend the day at Mike's place, having lunch with Burt and Carole when they drop by, before departing in the afternoon. 

"I think we should move back." Kurt says as soon as they're out of sight.

"What?"

"I think we should move back to Ohio. Don't get me wrong, I love Chicago and I'm happy there, but I hate this. I hate driving away from your dad and seeing tears in his eyes. I hate watching my dad and Carole age and feel like I'm missing out on so much. I hate the way we never get enough time with Wes and Kathy, Seb or Rachel and Finn. And I want them all to be a part of Libby's life. If, or when, Rachel has babies they'll be Libby's cousins....and you just know there will be a lifetime bond between Wes' daughter and ours....and if we don't have any more then I'd like her to still feel that she has some kind of support unit growing up rather than just her two crazy dads," he smiles. 

"Do you want more?" Blaine asks, trying to gauge his reaction while still keeping his eyes on the road.

Kurt turns to look at her, sleeping soundly in her car seat, orange teddy held loosely in one hand as her little rosebud mouth hangs open. "I think she's pretty darn perfect," he smiles. 

"She really is," Blaine agrees. 

"And I'd say our family is too."

"So no more babies."

"No more."

"As for moving back... Yeah. I'm not adverse to the idea I guess, we'd have to discuss work and where we would live."

"I was thinking I could drop the making and just do costume design."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, I have a large portfolio now. Anna is wonderful; I'm not ready to end our collaboration and neither is she, but she’s fed up with the design. We could work perfectly well between the two of us, I can email the designs across for her to work on. I’d maybe be needed in Chicago once a month or so, and for opening nights- but we could keep the apartment. If it worked out I could work mostly from home- that way I could be with Libby sometimes during the day, and I'm sure Carole would jump at the chance to help out."

"I'd have to leave the orchestra."

"Not necessarily,” Kurt counters. “The violin, maybe. But I’m pretty sure Riccardo would beg to keep you on as concert pianist. It’s up to you though, if you feel ready to give up your leadership.... I guess that's the biggest sticking point."

"I could pick up writing again."

"Of course. But I know how much you love the symphony."

“I do,” Blaine says slowly. “But I’m loving this idea more and more. We keep the apartment...we could even try and tie your work in with mine so we’re there together, taking Libby with us. Where would you want to settle though? I mean, I've never been that enamoured with Lima...."

"We have a house already."

"What? You'd want to live there?"

"Of course!" Kurt says with a laugh. "It’s paid for already and it has some of our best memories. Looking at it earlier...I could see us there. I could see Libby in the driveway learning to ride her bike while you washed the cars and I dig the flower beds. I can hear you two at the piano together while I'm in the kitchen baking cookies, or down the hall sketching designs...I can see us being a family there, Blaine.  
Plus it's so close to your dad, and you know? Dad was making noise about him and Carole moving somewhere smaller. Now they're retiring they might think about moving to Westerville to be closer too."

"You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

"I have, actually," Kurt says bashfully. "I really think it would be right for us."

"Then let's do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Blaine laughs. "Why not? I love the idea of being nearer to our parents, and you know, I'm not getting any younger... It would be good if we could spend more time at home together with Libby.”

“Oh my god!” Kurt cries happily. “I’m gonna need you to pull over so I can kiss you!”

Blaine does so willingly, taking Kurt’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly on the mouth. “Who’s gonna tell your dad?” he asks. “Can I?”

“As long as I can tell yours,” Kurt grins. 

“You’ll have to shout.”

“That’s okay. And please let me be there when you tell Wes.”

“He’ll cry. Holy shit, Kurt. We’re gonna do this! We’re moving back to Ohio!”

*

On a bright and sunny September day, fresh from a triumphant summer tour with the orchestra, followed by their first family vacation to Hawaii and one week before Blaine's fortieth birthday, the Hummel-Anderson's pull into the driveway of their new old home. Everyone is there to greet them, all the friends and family that they hold so dear, now including Olivia, Wes and Kathy's week old daughter. Kurt steps from the car and retrieves the cat box containing Martin, their three month old kitten and waits patiently for Blaine to take a six month old Libby from her car seat. She squeals loudly at the sight of everyone waiting for them, and Kurt laughs as he sets the pet carrier down and kisses her cheek. 

"Well, my dear old man," he says, sliding an arm around his beloved husband's waist. "Ready?"

"Ready," Blaine smiles at him over the top of Libby's head, leaning in to kiss at his lips. "I love you, my gorgeous boy."

Libby smooshes her face between them, giggling when they blow a raspberry on each of her cheeks. "Libby Darling," Blaine says proudly, hoisting her higher on his hip. "Welcome home."


End file.
